


Stay

by zazajb



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Glam Rock RPF, Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-12 21:28:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 245,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1201321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zazajb/pseuds/zazajb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When everything goes wrong, it's our friends who put us back together again...sometimes with unexpected results.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing, this is a work of fiction based on real people and places. 
> 
> I also don’t own the song or the video which inspired this offering  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyeXToFiGMM do go and check out this brilliant video by cat glambert. It’s such an awesome song...
> 
> Song lyrics will be woven throughout the story.  
> Unbetaed - all mistakes are mine!
> 
> This was supposed to be a 5k one shot...it grew!

 

**Stay...**

The sudden blaring of _Enter Sandman_ from his phone jerked Tommy into a state of semi-wakefulness from where he’d finally fallen asleep in front of the TV. Groping blindly in the dark, he fumbled the answer button “Adam?”

Muffled sounds were the only reply.

“ _Adam?_ ” Tommy thumbed up the volume and stuck it on speaker, his fingers poised to hit the ‘end call’ button if this was a repeat of the last 3:00am call from Adam - a careless redial caused by accidental kicking of abandoned jeans during wild sex. After a few seconds of unidentifiable noises, Sauli’s distinctive accent had panted breathlessly “ _fuck, Ad-am, fuck...ene-mmän...”_ followed by Adam’s deep throaty chuckle and the unmistakeable slap of flesh on flesh that mingled with Sauli’s low moans of pleasure. As realisation set in, Tommy’d muttered “what the fuck?!” grinned and cut the connection.

This time there was no such entertainment. “ **Adam?** You there?”

A stifled sob split the silence, the sound instantly driving Tommy off the sofa and scrabbling for his boots “I’m coming over...stay on the line...you’re at home right?”

“ _yes...”_ the broken whisper was followed by another sob as Tommy grabbed his jacket and car keys and flew down the stairs, his steps echoing loudly in the still building.

With scant regard for speed limits, he was out of his car and loping out of the elevator up to Adam’s front door in seven minutes flat, his phone pressed to his ear. “I’m here...” he paused, not surprised when there was no response “M’gonna let myself in, ‘kay?”

The tiny whimper against his ear tore at his heart and he hurriedly keyed in the entry code before jamming his key into the lock. Throwing the door open, Tommy strode in, going from room to room, finally finding Adam squashed into a corner in his bedroom, back against the wall, arms clutching his knees into his chest. His face was blotchy, eyes, usually blue and sparkling, now red and puffy from prolonged crying.

 Dropping to the floor next to him, Tommy tugged Adam on to his lap, arms closing tightly around the trembling form as he buried his face into Tommy’s chest, fresh sobs wracking his body. Tommy rocked them gently, one hand stroking Adam’s hair “sshhh, gonna be okay babyboy...”

It was long minutes before Adam’s sobs stopped and he slumped heavily in Tommy’s arms. Tommy’s fingers continued threading through Adam’s hair, warm, comforting...

“He’s gone...” Adam’s hoarse whisper broke the silence.

Tommy’s arms tightened instinctively, pulling Adam closer still. “I’m so sorry...”

“I loved him so much...”

“I know, babyboy...I know...” Tommy pressed a kiss against Adam’s hair before resuming his gentle stroking.

Adam pressed closer. “We knew it was coming...been little more than friends for the last couple of months...” his breath hitched, body tensing as he fought back another sob “Helsinki was _so hard..._ all the fans were thrilled to have us together in Sauli’s home country...I couldn’t let them down, couldn’t let _us_ down...” he paused, voice muffled against Tommy’s chest “ _you knew something was wrong..._ ” he lifted his head to meet soft brown eyes “you stayed close, asked me if I was okay... _that touch_ in the encore...”

Tommy chewed his lip, biting back all the things he wanted to say, closing his eyes momentarily before answering as he moved one hand to brush aside the fresh tears trickling down Adam’s face “you weren’t _yourself_...” he frowned trying to find the right words “on stage you were on fire like always...” a wry smile escaped briefly “ _totally hot and oozing sex!_ But, offstage your smile didn’t leap out of your eyes like it usually does...” His thumb traced the outline of Adam’s mouth “I thought you were tired or sad the tour was ending...”

“You _know_ me...” Adam’s voice dropped, so low that Tommy could barely hear him “Tommy...”

“Adam?”

“I don’t want to be alone...” he buried his face in Tommy’s neck “will you stay... _please_?”

“Yes!” the word burst out forcefully, Tommy’s heart thumping double time at the thought of having Adam so close again after so long. Feeling Adam’s head start in surprise at the intensity of his reply, he added quickly “We gotta move from here though, my arse has gone numb! Shift your scrawny butt!”

The joke was feeble but drew a watery smile as Adam wriggled out of his lap and stood up. Offering his hand, he hauled Tommy to his feet and wrapped the smaller man into a hug. “Thank you baby....” the shaky whisper against his ear sending shivers down Tommy’s spine as he melted into the embrace.

They stood motionless for long minutes, bodies pressed together, breathing slowing, synchronising, until each breath was shared. Tommy moved first, reluctantly loosening his hold to take Adam’s hand and lead him to the bathroom. Adam allowed himself to be pushed down onto the closed toilet seat while Tommy gently washed his face, carefully bathing Adam’s swollen eyes and finishing with the moisturiser he knew Adam liked to use before he went to bed, smoothing it into his freckled skin with soft sweeps of his fingers.

Taking Adam’s hand once more, he led him back into the bedroom and towards the bed. Adam was quiet and compliant, his face so sad it broke Tommy’s heart to see him. A gentle push sat him down at the foot of the bed while Tommy bent down to take off Adam’s boots and socks.

“Up!” Tommy prodded Adam’s arm, tugging the t-shirt over his head when he obeyed and hurling it towards the laundry bin.

Adam’s arms fell back limply to his sides, his eyes closed as Tommy’s hands moved to undo his belt and the button on his jeans, carefully sliding the zip down before peeling the denim off him and throwing it after the t-shirt. Finally, he turned down the quilt and patted the bottom sheet with one hand, reaching out towards Adam with the other.

He waited as Adam slid under the quilt then folded the bedding over him. Adam watched him as Tommy quickly shed his own clothes down to t-shirt and boxers and climbed in the other side... _Sauli’s_ side. Quashing the pang of jealousy the moment it surfaced, Tommy opened his arms as Adam shuffled closer and they settled down, Adam’s head resting in the crook of Tommy’s shoulder as he whispered a heartfelt “thank you...”

“Sshh, now sleep...” Tommy aimed a soft kiss at Adam’s hair as Adam turned his head and somehow their lips ended up together. It was electric. Adam whimpered and hauled him closer, the kiss hard and needy as Tommy melted into Adam’s arms, powerless to resist, kissing back fiercely as tongues duelled hotly and his body cried out for more. Adam’s hands roamed hungrily under Tommy’s t-shirt, his fingers igniting tiny fires in their wake as Tommy arched towards the touch, moans swallowed up in their frantic kiss.

Head swimming through a haze of feral heat, Tommy tore his mouth away “ _Adam!_ ” he panted, his heart breaking as Adam’s eyes filled with fresh tears.

“ _SorryI’msorryI’msorry...”_ Adam’s mumbled words ran into each other as he retreated to the far edge of the bed “ _Sau...”_ The name caught in his throat and he froze, fighting back another wave of desperate sobs. 

“S’ok, babyboy...” Tommy reached out and drew the trembling man back into his arms “Gonna be okay... _I promise..._ ” He wrapped Adam into a tight hug, fingers drawn back to his hair like a magnet to resume their gentle stroking. After a fleeting moment of resistance, Adam wriggled closer, his eyes closing as he fell into an exhausted sleep.

Tommy held him, breathing in the aroma that was just _Adam_ , trying to ignore the way Adam’s warm breath ghosting on his skin sent his senses soaring. Once he was sure Adam was in a deep sleep, he risked pressing a kiss to his forehead, his lips lingering far longer than simple friendship allowed.

He closed his eyes. _Friendship..._ that was okay when it was the only thing available, but now? He bit his lip, guilt washing over him as his heart leapt at the possibilities... _Fuck, fuck..._ he cursed himself freely, _Adam’s cried himself to sleep with a broken heart and you’re thinking about..._ Pushing all romantic hopes firmly aside, Tommy allowed his mind to wander back to when it all started...

His audition had seemingly ended before it had even begun, the three people at the table conversing in low tones throughout his Depeche Mode medley, with scarcely a glance in his direction. He drew out his final note and swung a pirouette, hair flying in a blond mass across his face. Landing safely back on both creepers, he launched into the Adam Lambert song he’d been given to play, head tossing in time as he lost himself to the beat...

“Mr Ratliff... _Mr Ratliff!_ ”

He stopped mid-chord as the voice finally broke into his stream of consciousness. “Tommy Joe! My dad’s Mr Ratliff!” he blurted out, blushing furiously as his brain supplied an endless stream of _well now you’ve really fucked up!_ He looked anxiously through his bangs at the three who were now standing and obviously highly amused at his expense. **_Fuckfuckfuck!_**

“Can you play bass?”

“Huh?” Well that sounded intelligent! He really was going all out to fuck this up!

Monte grinned and nudged Adam in the ribs, silent messages flying between them. “Can. You. Play. Bass?” he repeated patiently, as if explaining to a three year old “we have a guitarist, but like the way you play, so if you came back tomorrow with a bass and...” he shrugged, leaving Tommy to fill in the blanks.

“Fuck yeah!” Tommy rocked excitedly before sinking back “um, I mean, yeah, it’s been a while but...” he shut up quickly as yet another silent glance passed between Monte and Adam and the small woman in the smart blue suit. “Just tell me what you want me to play...”

“Told ya!” Adam shoved Monte with his hip and grabbed a sheaf of music off the table, striding towards Tommy with a huge smile on his face; gorgeous freckled face Tommy noted with a sudden jolt of an unrecognisable sensation in the pit of his stomach.

He almost swooned as Adam stopped in front of him and held out the sheet music. _This guy smells fucking amazing..._ “You want this?” Adam shook the papers as Tommy stood mute, his mouth gaping open.

“Oh, yeah! Thanks dude...” _Fuck!_ “I mean, Mr Lambert” He bit his lip, praying he wouldn’t fuck this up any more than he already had!

Adam laughed, the sound melodic and easy on Tommy’s ears, as another flutter of soft-winged butterflies invaded his stomach. “It’s Adam...” He squeezed Tommy’s hand and turned away, heading back to the others “...see you in the morning, Tommy Joe!”

Tommy mumbled his thanks, hoisted his guitar case over his shoulder and almost fled, clutching the precious sheets of music possessively to his chest. He stumbled back to his car in a daze and stowed his guitar carefully in the boot, tucking the music inside the case for safekeeping, before heading back to his apartment.

Mike looked up from his TV programme, the gentle “how’d it go?” question freezing on his lips as he took in Tommy’s pale face and glazed eyes. “What the fuck happened?” he demanded “what’d that bastard do to you?”

Despite himself Tommy grinned, a manic twisted grin that suggested more than a touch of hysteria lurking just beneath the surface “Call back”

Mike beamed “way to go, Tommy Joe. We’ll drink to that tonight!”

“Can’t. Gotta practice man. Fuck! Need to practice!”

“But it’s your birthday party! You can’t miss your own fucking party!”

“Gotta. Need to practice bass...”

“Bass? You’re a guitar player...” Mike was pissed.

“Got guitar...Monte Pittman, shit hot. I can play bass...just need...”

“So let them get some other fucker to play bass...there’s other gigs out there...”

“I _want this one...”_ Adam’s face, that beautiful smile and awesome aroma filled Tommy’s head and his eyes lit up “I really fucking want _this_ Mike...” he dragged Mike in for a sudden hug, snuggling into his warmth with his head tucked under Mike’s chin.

“Whatever you want...” Mike’s resigned sigh brought another grin to Tommy’s face as they clung to each other, all else forgotten. Finally peeling himself out of Tommy’s grasp, he pressed a kiss to the blond mop of hair “Happy Birthday, fucker, now go find that bass and get busy...”

“You can be me...” Tommy grinned as Mike gave him the finger and headed to the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with two bottles of beer. Clinking them together, they drank a toast before Tommy flexed his fingers and nestled the bass into his lap, the first song spread out on the bed in front of him. _All along it was a fever..._ The distinctive beat thrummed through him, filling him with an energy that tingled from his fingertips, spreading from head to toe and he couldn’t wait to hear Adam sing it...

By dawn his fingers were numb and Mike had thrown every swear word in his vast repertoire at him before resorting to earbuds and his head under the pillow. Tommy was confident he could play any of the songs he’d been given, provided he could stand upright, he was _so fucking tired..._ Laying the bass down carefully, he flopped beside it and fell asleep.

He was woken by the waft of strong coffee under his nose, his eyes reluctant to open after their all too brief respite. “Hey, sleeping beauty, shift your arse. It’s seven o’clock!” Mike kicked at Tommy’s leg draped off the edge of the bed. “Don’t fuck this up by being late! Now get your butt into the shower!”

Mumbling unintelligible curses under his breath, Tommy crawled into the shower where the steaming water revived him and a rather surprising boner accompanied the anticipatory thought of seeing Adam again. A few rapid strokes dealt with the issue, groaning softly as he hit his climax and Adam’s sparkling blue eyes lit up inside his head. Putting the images down to nerves, he washed swiftly, dried and dressed and was in the kitchen in time for Mike to serve up blueberry pancakes.

“Awesome party last night...you had a great time!”

Tommy folded a pancake and shoved the whole thing into his mouth, mumbling his appreciation through his mouthful. “Did I get laid?”

“Of course! People were pissed though...” Mike grimaced, relenting at Tommy’s expression of remorse “but they all said break a leg...”

Tommy’s stomach wobbled nervously and he stopped, another pancake halfway to his mouth. Grabbing his mug, he took a huge gulp of coffee, choking when it burned his throat. “Good job I don’t have to fucking sing!” he spluttered after a coughing fit that morphed into hysterical laughter.

Mike shook his head fondly. “Now piss off to your audition and stick it to that rockstar...” They bumped knuckles in passing as Tommy headed out, music tucked inside the case with his bass.

On the drive over, Tommy’s insides wrestled with his breakfast and he regretted that fourth pancake Mike had flipped onto his plate... Crunching a couple of peppermints, he parked, grabbed his gear and took the steps on legs that trembled with uncharacteristic nervousness. The hallway was deserted. Yesterday it had been crammed with other hopefuls... _shit, he was in the wrong fucking place...but where..._

“Mr Ratliff?” Tommy was so pleased to hear her voice he didn’t even correct her, swinging around so quickly he almost hit her with his bass. “I’m Lane” she smiled and shook his hand. “Follow me...”

Tommy followed her trim form past the room they’d been in the day before and through several sets of doors into a host of what looked like recording studios. Lane stopped outside a nondescript grey door and stood aside for him to enter. He looked at her “You’re not coming in with me?” his voice held a note of panic and she chuckled.

“If you want this as much as I think you do..?” she gave him a gentle push “give ‘em hell! I’ll see you after!” she turned, her heels tip tapping away down the corridor.

Starring at the door warily, Tommy knocked. The door opened and his knees almost buckled as Adam’s smile, vibrant as the sun, lit him up as he was ushered inside.

“Tommy Joe, meet the rest of the gang...”

The room was four bare walls; a practice room adaptable to individual need. Monte he knew... _knew? fuck, he’d only seen him the once...yesterday..._ Just when he thought he’d collapse, Adam’s hand, warm and comforting, pressed in the small of his back, guiding him further into the room. “You know Monte, lead guitar and my musical director...”

Nodding at Monte, Adam propelled him forward “Longineu on drums, a real badass...” Longineu grinned and set up a swift rhythm before tipping his sticks at Tommy. “As I said, badass!” Adam steered him onwards “and my beautiful Camila on keys”

Tommy smiled at Cam in return, wondering what was next. This was unlike any audition call back he’d ever been to. Adam draped an arm around his shoulders and squeezed gently. “So, now you know everyone. You have any problems with that music I gave you?” He gazed into Tommy’s eyes, warmth radiating from those clear blue depths as he looked right into Tommy’s soul.

The winged creatures inhabiting Tommy’s stomach went into aerial acrobatics and he stammered “no problem” in a squeak worthy of a pre-pubescent boy.

Grinning, Adam clapped his hands “Let’s play!” His delighted smile eclipsed the brightness of the artificial lights and suddenly Tommy felt invincible...

“Fuck yeah!” he leapt at his case and got himself set up, lovingly smoothing the strap over his shoulder as the sound of Adam’s laughter caressed his ears.

“Music Again?” Adam glanced around the room, meeting everyone’s eyes. Tommy grinned manically, fingers tingling in anticipation. Those first chords and they were off. It _felt so damn perfect..._ He almost faltered when Adam started singing _that voice was so fucking awesome_ fumbling to make sure he didn’t miss a note.

Adam moved around the room, singing to each of his band members in turn and it was the most natural thing in the world for Tommy to press up against him as they lost themselves to the music _this is rock and roll_ and Tommy was thrumming with energy when the last note died away.

“Down the Rabbit Hole!” Adam strutted back to the centre of the room to begin the next song, his grin huge and beautiful. They swung into it, bass line heavy and owning Tommy’s soul as he tossed his head in time to the beat. Back to back with Adam was perfect and automatic and when his new boss pulled him close to grind against him, Tommy didn’t even flinch at the obvious hot bulge pressing against his arse _this is rock and roll...fuckin’ awesome..._

From there they moved onto Fever and Strut and finally For Your Entertainment. Tommy was breathless and on the biggest high he’d ever experienced as silence reclaimed the room.

Adam slotted the mic back into the stand and looked across at Monte, more of those silent messages flying back and forth for the longest thirty seconds of Tommy’s life as he suddenly remembered that this was still an audition _fuck, no way he’d live with the disappointment if he didn’t get this...it was everything...fuckfuckfuck..._

Adam’s arms closing around him in the sweetest hug in history dragged him from his self-loathing musings and he hugged back as best he could with his bass still trapped in between them, Adam’s hot breath against his neck sending quivers down his spine. “Welcome, Tommy Joe, that was fucking awesome and you are one talented motherfucker on that bass!” Adam pulled back to look into his eyes “sorry if I got a bit carried away...”

Tommy wrinkled his nose in confusion.

His laugh delighted and warm, Adam dragged him back into the hug “pressing against you, pulling you around...what can I say – performing turns me on!” he murmured into Tommy’s ear by way of explanation.

“It’s all rock and roll, right? I don’t mind what you do with me, it’s cool, dude...”

Tommy’s own answering chuckle, rich and intimate in this conversation just between the two of them, had Adam tightening his hold “can I keep you?” the whisper so soft Tommy wasn’t entirely sure if he’d imagined it. All he knew was when Adam released him, the others were sharing knowing looks and fond smiles.

After a break in which they drank awesome coffee and ate cinnamon whirls that were so good they defied description, and Tommy went through a contract with Lane before signing his name so fast in case they changed their minds, they went back into the practice room to work their way through some of the other songs in the tour set list that Tommy hadn’t heard yet.

It was after nine when Tommy staggered in through the door, his fingers raw and a strange buzz under his skin that no amount of jerking off in the shower was going to ease.

“Tommy Joe?” Mike grasped him by the shoulders and gazed into his eyes. “Motherfucker, you got it!”

Tommy’s grin said it all and he sank into the familiar warmth of Mike’s embrace. “It was fucking awesome...”

Mike squeezed tighter before releasing him. “Get your arse in the shower, we’re going out to celebrate! Got us a couple of hot dates, we meet them at ten...”

“I just wanna eat and sleep...”

“No way, Tommy Joe! Remember I said you got laid – this is her! You are _so_ getting laid tonight!”

Despite his grumbles, Tommy was so wired from his day there was no way on this earth he was ever going to sleep without some form of release...He downed the beer Mike thrust at him in one and headed to the bathroom.

 Forty five minutes later he was swaying on the dance floor, pleasurably drunk and not giving a shit about his lack of moves. The girl, Teena, was brunette, petite and totally up for a good time if her wandering hands were anything to go by. In a previous existence Tommy would’ve dragged her off somewhere dark, or to his car, to take full advantage of the enticing offer. Tonight, however, despite the fact he was a little drunk, a little high and way beyond tired, something wouldn’t let him, _something new and inexplicable_... _crystal blue eyes, a killer smile and a mass of freckled skin_...

The answer obviously lay in more booze! Another beer and several shots later, Tommy was floating in a haze of alcohol soaked endorphins, his lips pressed sloppily to Teena’s as they continued to move amongst the throng of bodies on the dance floor. Her fingers slid down his front to press against his zip, the touch light and tantalising and his blood supply did its best to respond, a sluggish half-mast the sad reality. “’m too drunk to fuck!” he slurred into her ear before mouthing at the soft skin of her neck.

She giggled “I can see that!” she squeezed the front of his jeans “you’ll just have to make sure you call me tomorrow...no, make that tonight!” Wriggling out of his hold, she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him firmly. ”Bye Tommy!” Then she was gone.

Tommy gazed after her and shrugged, tiredness reasserting itself as the alcohol settled heavy in his belly. Mike was nowhere to be seen, having long since vanished with Adelle or Aisha or whatever she was called. That was cool. They did this. After fighting his way to the side of the club, Tommy fished out his phone and thumbed a clumsy text “gonna grba cab hmoe am pissed as fatr need seelp” pressing send, he staggered to the gents, recycled some of the excess booze in his system and washed his hands before making his way outside.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. “Mike?”

“It’s Adam...”

“Oh!” visions of freckles filled his head. Freckles that vanished below the neckline of his t-shirt prompting the intriguing question _does he have freckles all over?_

“Tommy Joe, you okay?”

Images of playing dot to dot with his tongue on those unseen freckles flooded unbidden into Tommy’s head and he giggled “’m fine, boss man!” He frowned at his phone “Am I late? Fuck, I’m late, aren’t I...”

“You’re drunk!”

“Yep! Ebrilat...cebrel...celebrating my new job” he took a deep breath in and spluttered as cold air hit the back of his throat.

“Tommy?”

“’m fine, it’s cool...” there was a brief silence, filled only with the sounds associated with late night revelry. “Why’d you call me?”

“You texted me”

“I don’t have your number!”

“You do, Lane put all our numbers in your phone this morning”

“Oh!” Tommy’s inebriated brain struggled to take all this in.

“Where are you?”

“Pulse”

“Stay there, I’m coming to get you...”

“But...”

“ _Tommy Joe, stay put. No arguing!”_ Adam hung up.

Tommy was still staring at his phone in disbelief when Adam pulled up in front of him ten minutes later. “Get in!”

Several people outside the club had noticed the car and who was driving. For now they were just staring. As some of them started moving towards the car, Tommy opened the door and half climbed, half fell in, landing in a crumpled heap in the passenger seat where he gurgled for breath. Adam reached across and clicked his seatbelt in place before hot-tailing it out of there as the first camera came out, too late to capture them on film.

Once he’d made sure they weren’t being followed, Adam turned his attention to his passenger. Tommy looked decidedly worse for wear and was obviously fighting to stay awake. “You okay? Not gonna throw up are you? Tell me if you are and I’ll stop...”

“’m fine, tired, so fucking tired. Not gonna puke” Tommy’s mumbled replies earned a relieved smile from his driver; a smile he missed as his eyes closed and he fell asleep, tiny drunken snorts mingling with the sound of the cd Adam hummed along to as they headed the few miles to his apartment. Tommy grumbled and cursed as Adam hauled him out of the car and up the steps, leaning heavily on Adam with his eyes clamped shut.

Stopping only to shove the door closed with his foot, Adam went straight through to his bedroom, turning the quilt back before easing Tommy down onto the sheets. He chuckled to himself as Tommy curled onto his side and settled, little grunts of satisfaction as he got comfortable. Ignoring the frown and sleep-laden swear words, Adam removed Tommy’s boots, jacket and jeans and folded the quilt back over him.

After filling a tall glass with water and putting an Asprin blister pack on the bedside table, Adam folded Tommy’s clothes up neatly on the chair. Tommy’s phone buzzed in his jeans, prompting Adam to fish it out of the pocket and send a short text to Mike to tell him Tommy was safe. He wasn’t quite sure of the nature of Tommy and Mike’s relationship, but at least he’d pre-empted any missing person reports!

He stood and watched Tommy sleeping for many long minutes, wondering what the future had in store for them. There was something about this tiny blond, with his liquid brown eyes outlined in kohl and soft kissable lips, that drew Adam to him like a moth to a flame...

Finally, he stripped off his own clothes, folded them into a pile on the floor and rummaged around for a pair of rarely worn sleep pants. Slipping them on, he climbed into bed next to Tommy, any plans to stick to his own side of the bed dismissed when Tommy shuffled over, snuggling into the curve of Adam’s body, huffing contentedly as Adam’s arm curled around his waist and tugged him closer. They slept.

Adam awoke to find Tommy facing him and starring with wide, panic stricken eyes. He smiled, blinking sleepily. “How’re you feeling?”

“Like crap! What the fuck happened to me last night?” Tommy’s voice was low, his body tense and set in Adam’s arms.

Untangling their limbs, Adam rolled over and reached for the glass and painkillers. “You went out celebrating, got rat-arsed and sent me a drunken text saying you were getting a cab home. I’m assuming that was meant for Mike but I came and got you and put you to bed - all we did was sleep! And cuddle a bit...” Adam grinned sheepishly “you’re a cuddly drunk!” He offered the glass and Asprin as Tommy sat up carefully, a deep groan escaping as his head objected violently to the change in altitude.

“Thanks!” Tommy popped two of the tablets and washed them down with the water, draining the glass thirstily. “Oh fuck! Mike’ll be having a coronary that I’m not there...need to...”

“I sent him a text last night, or rather, this morning once you’d fallen asleep”

“ _You sent Mike a text?”_ Tommy’s head thudded and he struggled to stay with it “Why?”

“Because I’d worry if my boyfriend didn’t come home after going out celebrating...”

“Boyfriend, oh fuck! Haha! You have it all wrong, dude” Despite his hangover, Tommy was amused “Mike’s my roomie and my best friend...”

“Ah, so no harm done then? Good!” Adam grinned and Tommy’s stomach fluttered. He couldn’t help but grin back. Bumping Tommy’s shoulder affectionately, Adam slid out of bed. “I’ll shower first then you can while I make coffee” he disappeared momentarily, returning with a couple of towels “and we’re in rehearsal in an hour so shake that cute little arse!” 

He dropped one of the towels onto the bed, winked and went into the bathroom. Tommy gazed after him, his mouth gaping open. This was surreal. He was _not_ semi naked in bed with his new boss... The winged creatures in his stomach performed a perfect loop-the-loop as he recalled the warmth of Adam’s body next to his own and certain other bodily parts showed more than a passing interest _What the fuck?_

His phone beeped with a message from across the room where Adam had apparently left it on top of his neatly folded clothes. Kicking away the bedclothes, Tommy eased himself to a standing position and moved his head and shoulders gingerly, reassured as the painkillers began their work and the demolition crew inside his skull decided their work was over. He stretched luxuriously, yawned and ran his fingers through his hair before wandering over to retrieve his phone.

He had seventeen new messages – eleven from Teena and six from Mike. Scrolling down Mike’s first, he grinned at the increasing use of exclamation marks and f-words. Pressing _call_ he held the phone a short distance from his ear “ ** _do you know what the fucking time is? Piss off whoever you are! Call me back later!_** ” Mike hung up.

Tommy snickered and re-dialled, this time moving the phone to his ear. “Morning honey! And how was your night?” he said as soon as Mike answered.

“Tommy? Where the fuck have you been?” Rustling sounds at the other end suggested Mike was getting out of bed, the whispered “go back to sleep” confirming Mike’s evening had, in fact, gone rather well. “

“I sent you a text!”

“I got a message from some lunatic pretending to be your new fucking boss saying he had you tucked up in his bed...”

“True, dude, all true!” Tommy felt a rush of warmth through his body at the recall of waking up in Adam’s arms, a rush that appeared to be heading south. He squirmed and tried thinking about something depressing...his previous job in a call centre...Yep! That’d do it every time! Circulation resumed normal service!

“ **Tommy!** Are you listening to me?”

“Nope! I’m good, still alive and see you after rehearsals. Love you fucker!” Tommy laughed as he cut off Mike’s outraged spluttering and barrage of questions.

He opened Teena’s messages. They were a series of photos that normally would’ve had him panting and jerking off like a porn star as she stripped for him, the final fully naked shot proving that not only was she perfectly formed and a natural brunette, she was also very flexible! He shook his head as the image of dancing freckles and a dazzling smile jostled for top spot _what the?_

 _“Fuck!”_ he almost leapt off the floor as warm damp skin, fragrant from shower products, pressed against his back and Adam’s chin nestled into the crook of Tommy’s shoulder.

“She’s interesting!” Adam’s words, soft against Tommy’s ear sent delicious shudders eddying through his body and a sudden rerouting of his entire supply of corpuscles. This time, no amount of tiny call booth imagery was strong enough to distract him and he kept very still in the hope that Adam wouldn’t notice.

Fortunately, Adam was still focused on the pictures on Tommy’s phone “Your girlfriend? Seeing as how Mike’s _not_ your boyfriend!”

Tommy bit back a moan as Adam’s lips brushed the tender skin behind his ear. He forced himself to concentrate. “Um, no, she’s just...um, she’s who I was supposed to be with at my party the other night when I was practicing bass...”

“Ah, so _I’m_ more important to you than her!” Adam laughed delightedly “ _good to know, Tommy Joe!_ ”He stepped away and moved towards the bed, bending over to pick up his jeans from the floor.

Tommy stood rooted to the spot and took in the view, noting firstly that he did indeed have freckles all over, then how the towel around Adam’s waist pulled tight over his buttocks and accentuated his toned thighs... _Fuck it’s hot in here..._

“Like what you see?” Adam glanced up from his prone position and shook his arse playfully.

Colour flooded Tommy’s face and he bolted from the room. Adam watched him go, resisting the urge to follow. _I think you’re gonna break my heart Tommy Joe..._

Tommy hesitated and then locked the bathroom door before sliding under the steaming water and dealing with his now raging hard on in a few short strokes, the vision of Adam’s face eclipsing Teena’s as he gasped his release.

“Tommy! The towel’s just outside the door. Help yourself to whatever you need; there’s a new toothbrush in the cabinet. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

Tommy spluttered his thanks and rested his forehead against the cool tiles. _What the fuck was going on? He was jerking off to thoughts of his new boss...a man...where the fuck did that come from?_ He closed his eyes, stifling a laugh that would’ve no doubt been both loud and hysterical, at the unintentional pun. _Try explaining that one!_

Turning his attention to the array of products, he opened them all in turn, picking the ones that smelled most like Adam and used them liberally, before stepping out and cautiously unlocking the door to snake a pale hand out to grab the towel. He dried quickly and wrapped it tightly around his waist, holding it carefully in place as he returned to the bedroom to find his clothes. Adam had set them on the bed alongside a clean t-shirt and a pair of boxer briefs.

“They might be a bit big but...” Adam’s voice from the doorway had him jumping violently, the towel slipping and he grabbed at it just a fraction too late to avoid flashing his arse. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Coffee’s ready...”

Clutching the towel like a drowning man with a life jacket, Tommy nodded mutely. He didn’t move until he heard Adam back in the kitchen, singing to himself as he tried different riffs and harmonies. With the coast clear, Tommy dragged on his clothes. Adam’s t-shirt was indeed big on him, but it was clean and it was _Adam’s..._

The coffee was good, the wholegrain rice cake things Adam insisted he eat to help soak up last night’s booze not so, and the conversation revolved around music so it was a relaxed and enthusiastic Tommy who followed Adam out to his car for the start of their work day.

“Thank you, Tommy Joe!” Adam drew him in for a brief, but fierce, hug before they got into the car. “I’m so glad I found you and if there’s a slot alongside Mike for another best friend I’d really like us to do that...”

“Me too, dude...and thanks for rescuing me last night...” Tommy breathed in the delicious scent that was just _Adam_ as he melted into Adam’s arms and the now familiar soft winged creatures took to flight once more in his tummy.

“So, we’re good?” Adam sounded hopeful.

“We’re cool, man!”

“Boss man to you!” Adam teased him gently, relieved.

“Whatever, fucker!” Tommy slid down in the seat and clicked his belt into place. “We going or what!”

Adam’s laughter filled his ears as they headed to the studios, causing quite a stir when they rocked up together with Tommy quite obviously wearing Adam’s t-shirt. Monte and Adam had yet another of their silent conversations that ended with a rare blush tinting Adam’s cheeks and Monte grinning.

The first hour was spent sat on the floor discussing the setlist order, links and the songs that would showcase each musician’s talents in turn. This was accompanied with plenty of awesome coffee and more of those cinnamon swirls that Tommy practically inhaled they were so damn good!

“I don’t know where you put it all!” Adam teased Tommy as he bit into his third.

“Hollow legs!” he held the pastry out “I’ll share though...”

Adam laughed and took a tiny bite, his eyes fixed on Tommy’s. Reaching over, he brushed powdered sugar from Tommy’s cheek, his fingers lingering on the soft skin as Tommy leant into the touch and his butterfly collection went into raptures.

A balled up sheet of music hitting him on the side of the head made Adam jump and he pulled away, a faint pink tinge reappearing as he met Monte’s knowing gaze. “Right, let’s play!”Leaping to his feet, he hauled Tommy up energetically, then offered his hand to his musical director who merely gave him the finger and got up unaided. LP scrambled up without assistance, dropping onto his stool as Cam accepted the hand up.

They swung into Twentieth Century Boy then on to Voodoo, Adam draping his arm around Tommy’s neck as he sung to him. It felt so good, pressed up close and he suppressed a needy moan when Adam moved away to return to the centre of the room...

A muffled cry and Adam’s head thrashing around on the pillow dragged him back to the present. “Sshh, s’ok babyboy, ‘m here...you’re safe...” Tommy rocked them gently, holding Adam closer. His hand resumed the soft stroking of Adam’s hair until the mumbled pain-filled whimpers had stopped.

Once he was sure Adam was sleeping soundly again, Tommy resumed his mental meandering down memory lane...

Three weeks in and Tommy was having the time of his life. He loved the songs, rocked the company and Adam had rapidly become a best friend as well as his boss. Adam now picked him up in the mornings and they’d stop off for coffee on the way to the studios. They could talk about anything and everything for hours – music, films and TV series were frequently debated and watched after a long day’s practice, some sessions turning into sleep-overs when Tommy got to snuggle in Adam’s big bed and lose himself to the delicious warmth of Adam’s body pressed up close... These were the times he lived for most; somehow his insomnia was less of a problem and he slept best with Adam beside him...

Mike teased Tommy mercilessly, especially when Teena got tired of waiting for him and moved on to a grubby guitarist from some grunge band. Tommy merely shrugged and threw himself even deeper into his music and his time with Adam.

It was a Thursday and Adam was late – very late! He wasn’t answering his phone either. “Looks like lover boy’s stood you up!” Mike laughed at the killer glare Tommy threw at him and patted his shoulder “S’okay, I’ll still dry your tears and...”

Tommy gave him the finger and jumped at his phone as it blared out Fever “ _Adam?_ You okay _?_ I was wo... _”_   Mike moved closer as Tommy’s expression went through a kaleidoscope of different emotions, fearing he really would be needed to offer comfort to his best mate. “Whoa, slow down! I can’t understand what you’re saying! Where are you? You sound like you’re in a wind tunnel! _What the f..._ ”

Tommy and Mike both leapt off the floor at the sudden hammering on the front door. “Let me in!” Adam’s breathless shout had Tommy scrambling to open the door and an excitable Adam fell in through it, eyes wild and hair dishevelled as if he’d dragged his fingers through it numerous times.

“Ad...” Tommy didn’t get to finish as Adam hauled him in close before crushing his lips to Tommy’s and a gob-smacked Mike stared, eyes popping out of his head. Tommy’s mouth opened for him, melting into the kiss as his phone dropped to the floor, his hands scrabbling under Adam’s jacket to fist possessively into the leopard print t-shirt as his knees buckled.

Long moments later, Adam released him, both men panting hard. Tommy looked debauched, lips pink and kiss swollen, eyes glazed as he blinked dazedly.

“Sorry Tommy Joe!” Adam grinned wickedly! “It had to be done! I’m so fucking happy, I just had to kiss you!” He swung around to look at Mike with a teasing glint in his eye. “You want a turn?”

Mike took a step back “I’ll pass, thanks! Coffee?”

“No time! Running late! Gotta share the news with the band! Gonna be fucking awesome...”

“Huh?” Tommy’s molten synapses were still offline and his stomach was stuck on the fast spin cycle but he realised there was a reason for that knee-melting kiss; a reason they still didn’t know...”

Adam’s grin broadened “We’ve been asked to perform at the AMAs” he tugged Tommy back into his arms and nestled the blond mop under his chin. “American Music Awards _and_ Letterman and Good Morning America the morning after that...” Adam sighed happily.

“Way to go, man!” Mike was impressed “that’s one hell of a gig...” he punched Adam lightly on the arm. “Don’t you think, Tommy?”

“Mmmmmn...” Tommy’s arms tightened around Adam’s waist as he mumbled contentedly into his chest.

Laughing, Mike made kissy kissy faces as he grabbed his jacket and car keys. “Gotta go, see you lovebirds later, congrats on the show...” The door closed behind him.

“We have to go too, Tommy Joe” Adam chuckled and tipped Tommy’s face up to press a soft kiss to his forehead. “Lane’ll flip if we’re not there soon, especially as I said I want to be the one to tell the others...” He released Tommy and stepped back, eyeing him quizzically.

“What?” Tommy blushed under the scrutiny.

“Just trying to make you out... _Tommy Joe...”_ the last words almost a growl, deepening the colour on Tommy’s face.

He shrugged, faking nonchalance, and reached for his jacket “Nothin’ _to_ make out! I’m cool!” A seductive arch of a Lambert eyebrow was enough to dispel that claim almost instantly and he swung around towards the door as the front of his jeans betrayed his body’s reaction, confusing the hell out of him. “Let’s go, then!” Tommy strode briskly out of the apartment leaving Adam staring after him.

 _Is it bad that I’m falling for you...dayum!_ Adam sighed heavily and took off after the retreating back of the enigma that was Tommy Joe Ratliff...

Conversation focused on the AMAs during the short journey to the studios and their mood was buoyant when they bounced energetically into the practice room. Lane looked pointedly at her watch, relenting to smile fondly as Adam let out a whoop and broke the news to the rest of his band. Pulling out her phone, she asked for the coffee and pastries...it was going to be one of those days!

Once they’d celebrated the news, the work began in earnest. There was so much to arrange; the tour rehearsals, the first single video - For your Entertainment – and now the whole AMA performance... Adam was a live wire, bounding from one thing to the next until Monte and LP grabbed him and pinned him to the floor, Tommy and Cam sitting on his legs to keep him still long enough for Lane to run through the legalities and terms of the various engagements.

After a stern “and behave yourself!” which she softened with a tiny smile, she moved on from the FYE video shoot to the AMAs. Putting the mass of papers down, she glanced at Tommy before fixing her gaze on Adam’s face. “No bass for the performance...it...”

“ _No fucking way!”_ Adam sat up and wrapped his arms around Tommy, pulling him in close. “ _I need...”_

“Adam! If you can hold off on the diva strop!” Lane sighed patiently as Adam’s hold tightened on Tommy’s waist and across his chest. “They didn’t say ‘no Tommy’ they said loud bass interferes with the sound balance of their broadcast, so they request that we use a keyboard set up for the bass...”

“Oh! I thought...”

“You do the singing and I’ll take care of the thinking!” she chuckled “and Tommy’s turning blue so you might want to loosen your hold a little!”

The assembled group burst into laughter as Tommy gasped theatrically, leaning back against the warmth of Adam’s chest. Lane smiled warmly. “I’ll leave you to it then...” she caught Tommy’s eye, the knowing glance enough to turn him scarlet _she knew..._

The rest of the week flew past in a blur of rehearsals and multiple discussions to tweak arrangements – discussions that Tommy surprised himself by joining in enthusiastically and with suggestions good enough for Monte to nod approvingly to Adam “the kid’s good!” as he scribbled on his notepad. The band went out for dinner the evening before the For Your Entertainment video shoot, a happy, vibrant group who made plenty of noise, all stayed completely sober and Adam left a massive tip after a thoroughly enjoyable evening.

Adam pushed Tommy up against his car after they’d said goodnight to the others, wrapping him into his arms as he buried his face into Tommy’s hair. “Will you stay with me tonight..?”

“Velvet Goldmine?” Tommy glanced up, grinning, his heart thudding double time at the hungry look in Adam’s eyes.

“Anything you want...”

“ _Anything?”_ Tommy’s body responded instantly with a rush of heat and he melted into the embrace hoping that Adam would take the initiative and kiss him again. Adam squeezed him tightly, brushed his cheek and released him, a half-smile curving his lips... _those lips he wanted pressed against his own...fuck..._

They spent the rest of the night curled up together in Adam’s big bed, both managing to sleep until the ungodly early alarm went off. The video shoot was long and tiring but _the_ most amazing experience and Tommy was so wired by the end, even Monte’s threat of shoving the snake down his neck couldn’t stop him from bouncing off the walls.

The sound of Adam’s voice oozing sex and those cobalt blue eyes boring right into his soul set a buzzing under his skin that only intensified as the day wore on. Adam had rubbed up hard against him, pulled his hair and generally worked him up into such a fever pitch of want that if he didn’t get some kind of release he was gonna go supernova, so he was more than up for it when Adam suggested a drinks party at his place to celebrate their first successful music video.

They piled into their assorted vehicles and headed across town in a wild convoy, the band joined by Sutan, the costume and make-up guru Tommy had warmed to instantly, Lee, the photographer, and Terrence and Johnny, two of the dancers; all four long-time friends of Adam’s. Lane had declined with a smile, handed over a huge bottle of champagne and warned them to leave their hangovers at home in the morning, before waving as she drove away.

Numerous drinks and several giant pizzas later, they were all delightfully hammered and giggling, watching as Sutan went to work on Tommy’s face with the contents of Adam’s make-up bag. Tommy was a compliant model, pursing his lips and closing his eyes when told as Sutan smoothed and brushed different colours onto his skin. It was strangely soothing and he wallowed in the sensations, jumping slightly when a gentle tug on his hair brought him out of his trance “You’re done sweetie!” Sutan stood back, eyeing his work critically from all angles before cracking a massive grin “…and you are just _fucking beautiful_!” He held out his hand to help Tommy up from the stool and crooked his arm at the elbow “shall we, _darhling..._ ”

The two sashayed across the room, Lee’s ever present camera recording the whole shebang for posterity. After introducing him formally as _Kiki_ , Raja’s little cousin, Sutan pressed a chaste kiss to Tommy’s glossy lips and allowed him to sink back into Adam’s outstretched arms, adding somewhat wistfully “You’d be spectacular on the drag circuit you know...”

Adam’s arms tightened possessively around Tommy’s middle, pulling him onto his lap “he’s _already_ spectacular on bass with me so keep your red painted talons off, bitch!”

Sutan giggled delightedly and gave Adam the finger as they launched into memories of the various shows the group of friends had been to. Tommy snuggled down into Adam’s hold, warm and content, listening, until his eyes closed and he fell asleep.

When he woke the room was quiet, the only sound Adam’s snuffles against his neck as he slept, his arms still wrapped around Tommy’s body. Tommy squirmed as his bladder demanded attention, carefully trying to wriggle out of Adam’s hold without disturbing him. “Baby?” Adam yawned and opened his eyes.

“Bathroom...” Tommy finally slithered free and shot off to release the pressure. When he returned, Adam linked their fingers and led him to the bedroom, stripped them both to their underwear and they curled up together, asleep again in moments.

Morning came too soon, the sunlight hurting their eyes and every sound magnified by thudding hangovers. Adam showered first and stumbled to the kitchen to sort out some coffee. When Tommy rejoined him after his own shower, Adam was staring open mouthed at something on his phone, something he shut off quickly as he shoved his phone into his pocket. 

“Adam?”

“Huh?”

Tommy indicated the phone “you okay?” He dragged his fingers through his damp hair, a habit Adam had come to associate with _I want to ask but I don’t have the words,_ those huge brown eyes gazing anxiously at him.

A faint tinge of pink coloured Adam’s cheeks and he glanced away “sometimes I find it hard to believe it all...” he shrugged “living my dreams and all that...sometimes I wonder if I’m good enough...”

He forced a grin, a minute sigh escaping as Tommy wrapped him into a hug, tucking himself under Adam’s chin and snaking his arms around his waist “no self-doubt dude, you’re the real deal!” his obvious sincerity bringing a lump to Adam’s throat. _Tommy Joe..._

Adam closed his eyes, savouring the closeness as his head replayed the video Lee had sent him; the video he’d been watching a few minutes earlier...the video that showed just how hard he’d fallen for the gorgeous blond man in his arms. Lee’s message “someone’s got it baaaaad! This edit ‘your eyes only’ You look good together” Lee had a knack of capturing Adam at his most vulnerable… _the man_ …

  _Fuckfuckfuck_ Adam had to agree, they looked shit hot together in the endless screenshot photos Lee had also sent: image after image from the entire evening – lingering touches, intimate looks, heads close as they shared a joke or comment, Tommy cradled in Adam’s lap...

They stood in silence, each content to ‘simply be’ despite the relentless pounding inside their skulls. Adam’s phone buzzing with a series of messages broke the mood and they moved apart. Tommy poured the coffee, Adam dropped soluble pain killers into two glasses. Downing a fizzing glass each, they shuddered at the bitter taste, washing it down with black coffee and rice cakes.

On arrival at the studios, everyone was wearing dark glasses apart from Lane and Neil. Tommy had been introduced to Neil at the video shoot, watching with interest as Adam had another of his silent conversations with his sibling, one which left Adam blushing and Neil laughing as he glanced over to where Tommy and Monte were setting up their instruments. It struck Tommy that there were things it seemed everyone else knew but him…

The rehearsal for the AMA was littered with problems – both technical and human and they were all incredibly weary by the time they’d managed three complete error-free performances. The set was complicated, with different levels and walkways, multiple steps and props. Getting everything to work looked impossible at one point and Tommy was once again awestruck at Adam’s professionalism in the face of issue after issue. For his part, Tommy just had to play the bass line on the keys set-up, his only silent grumble that it prevented any real physical contact with Adam…

Finally satisfied that the show would be the mind-blowing spectacle Adam had planned, they packed away their gear and split, the promise of a day off the following day bringing smiles to lined faces. Shouting goodbyes they went their separate ways.

The drive back to Tommy’s was spent in companionable silence. Tommy gazed idly out of the window feeling oddly disappointed that he wouldn’t have to get up in the morning… _that he wouldn’t be seeing Adam…fuck…he was crushing like a teenaged girl!_ He chewed on his lip, confusion swirling in his tired head.

“I can hear you thinking from here! Spill it Tommy Joe!” Adam’s voice cut into his musings.

“I won’t have to get up tomorrow. Won’t be the same without our morning coffee!” The words spilled out of his mouth before his brain could vet them and he blushed scarlet at the grin and raised eyebrow _fuck!_

“I’ll miss you too, baby! Make the most of the down time, it’s going to be crazy from now on…” He pulled up outside Tommy’s apartment block, leant across and brushed a soft kiss to Tommy’s forehead. “See you, Tommy Joe!”

Climbing out was a wrench and the ever-present butterflies suddenly acquired lead boots to plummet in the pit of his stomach. He closed the door with a forced cheerfulness “Have fun tomorrow…”

“Oh I will!” Adam chuckled, the sound heavy with suggestion and Tommy’s leaden booted insects began kicking at his insides hard. He watched as Adam drove away, the sound of that laugh ringing in his ears _Adam was going to have sex…_

Why did that suddenly matter? Visions of damp freckled skin, clad only in a tightly wrapped towel, swam in front of his eyes and he blinked away unexpected tears _fuck he was tired…_

 _…and Adam was going to have sex with someone who wasn’t him!_ The thought hit him like a freight train. _I want it to be me…_

Without realising it, he’d climbed the stairs and was stood in front of his front door when it opened and Mike dragged him inside, taking his case and coat and steering him to the armchair. Tommy let himself be led, complied when his boots were removed and mumbled his thanks when a cold bottle of beer was pushed into his hand.

It wasn’t until Mike perched on the arm of the chair and started running his fingers through Tommy’s hair that he woke up to the ‘less than usual Mike behaviour’ “what the fuck?” Tommy waved his beer “I mean, I appreciate the touchy feely stuff but…”

“Hey, don’t blame me!” Mike held his hands up “ask your boyfriend; he sent me very clear instructions!”

“He’s not my boyfriend” _but I want him…fuck!_ he sighed “I’m straight” he sat up and met Mike’s amused gaze. “I’m…”

“Yeah, heard you the first time! Whatever you say, ‘s all cool, you know that! But Adam did text me earlier to say you were just leaving and you’d worked your tiny little arse off all day so I was to pamper you like a princess!” Mike grinned “you wanna see the text?”

Flipping him off, Tommy grinned back and downed the rest of his beer. “Whatever, fucker! You wanna go out and eat?”

“Nope, got Thai coming, something else your boyfri…um, Adam arranged. You’ve got time for a shower before it arrives. There’s more beer in the fridge.”

Mike watched as Tommy headed out to the kitchen and then off towards the bathroom, a fresh bottle swinging between his fingers “would it kill you to admit you’re more bendy than straight, Tommy and that you’re head over heels for your boss?” The murmured question directed at the empty armchair hung in the air for a second. Mike sighed to himself “I guess it would right now!”

In the shower, Tommy was gasping his release after a fiercely fought, angry battle with his head, a battle that he lost wholesale as the thought of Adam’s smile filled him with a tingling warmth that spread rapidly southwards, demanding attention and a firm hand.

Sated and relaxed from his shower, Tommy devoured the delicious dishes Adam had chosen, noting that he’d included all of Tommy’s favourites…the butterflies relaxed and kicked off their boots! After several more beers and two episodes of MASH, Tommy was stretched out on the sofa, snoring contentedly. Mike smiled fondly and covered him with a blanket. It was good to see Tommy actually sleeping.

The sun was high in the sky when Tommy finally surfaced, blinking against the bright light streaming in through the window. Mike had long since gone to work and the apartment was quiet. Comfortable and warm, Tommy lay back and considered the crazy turn the last month of his life had taken… His hand had drifted under the waistband of his sweatpants, snaking lower before he even noticed he was hard, jumping when his phone rang from somewhere beneath his body.

“Adam!” he panted somewhat breathlessly from his frantic scrabble under the blanket to unearth his phone.

“Hey baby, you busy?” Adam’s voice against his ear sent a pulse of heat zinging through his body and he bit back a moan.

“Nah, just chillin’ dude…” Tommy shifted on the sofa, adjusting his angle to something less constraining as he attempted to do casual “what’s up?”

“You fancy lunch today?” _fuck yeah!_ Tommy’s stomach went into spirals of delight only to crash land seconds later “brilliant! I’d like you to meet someone…”

 _Shitfuckshit!_ I don’t want to meet his boyfriend. Tommy cursed himself for agreeing so quickly. No way he could get out of it now _fuck!_

Adam chuckled happily at the other end of the phone “I’ll pick you up in half an hour. See you _Tommy Joe_ ”

Hurling the blanket aside, Tommy almost sprinted to the bathroom to dive into the shower. Twenty seven minutes later he was climbing into Adam’s car. He tossed his hair, knowing that always got Adam’s attention, shuffling into a comfortable position against the seat. He glanced across to gaze at Adam’s face, almost regretting the choice of his tightest black jeans and Metallica t-shirt when they pulled up outside a rather fancy restaurant. He hadn’t even considered there might be a dress code.

As if reading his mind, Adam smiled “you look fantastic, baby…perfect!” He held out his hand and linked their fingers together as they headed inside.

“Afternoon Mr Lambert” a tall, slim young woman smiled a welcome “he’s waiting in your booth. I’ve sent a bottle of your usual across already…”

“Thanks Loretta!” Adam’s smile was warm as he tugged on Tommy’s hand and led them around the edge of the tables through the elegant décor.

As they approached the far end, a man leapt out of a privacy booth and flung himself on Adam, kissing him enthusiastically as Adam ran his fingers through the short blond hair. Tommy tried not to stare but failed miserably as his unwilling head acknowledged how well the two fitted together, their lips moving in harmony and bodies pressed chest to hip. The leaden boots came out in his stomach and his fingers curled into his palms as he willed himself to look away, not quite making it in time as they came up for air and grinned at him.

Colour flooded Tommy’s face as he gazed into the huge brown eyes that were appraising him with frank interest.

Adam chuckled “Brad, Tommy Joe! Tommy, Brad, aka Cheeks!” Tommy held out his hand, gasping in surprise as Brad took it and hauled him in for a tight hug.

Releasing his hold, Brad nodded approvingly “Yep, he’s as gorgeous as you said, and a bit more on top!”

Tommy hid behind his bangs as Adam bumped his shoulder playfully. “I told him he’d like you!” Biting his lip, Tommy blushed and prayed for a distraction, heaving a silent sigh of relief when Loretta appeared with another bottle of wine and they slid into the booth, one either side of Adam.

Tommy’s surreptitious blinks from behind the menu took in the slim but wiry frame, short bottle blond hair, high cheekbones and ready smile of even white teeth. Brad was cute!

Wine poured and orders taken, they settled back against soft leather. Adam was recounting their experiences at the For Your Entertainment video shoot, Brad leaning towards him attentively and laughing at all the right places which earned him numerous dazzling smiles and an intimate stroke of his cheek.

Tommy’s jealous goblins joined the disgruntled butterflies in his stomach as he listened, Brad now talking about a show some years previously where Adam had been just as excitable.

“How long have you been together?” The question burst from Tommy’s lips before he had a chance to stop it, cutting across Brad’s story. Adam and Brad looked at each other, more of Adam’s seemingly silent conversations passed back and forth for several seconds before they both burst out laughing.

“We were dating for a while, oh, waaaay back now, and I love him to death, but we’re not together!” Brad grinned, not at all put out at the interruption.

“But you kissed him!” Tommy was going to have his tongue cut out at the first opportunity as the words tripped out of his mouth unchecked and his cheeks turned pink at the arch of an eyebrow followed by a tiny knowing smile as Brad met his gaze.

“I _always_ kiss him at every opportunity! Adam’s a very talented kisser…you should try it!”

“He has!” Adam’s voice dropped an octave, the throaty growl heading straight for Tommy’s groin and he shifted in his seat as his jeans tightened uncomfortably.

Brad’s eyebrow arched higher and he leant forward “ _tell Cheeks all_ …” he commanded with a flirty twinkle.

The heat from Tommy’s cheeks could’ve melted the polar ice caps and he stammered pitifully “I…he…we… _fuck!”_

Brad laughed delightedly and shoved Adam with his elbow “What did you do to the poor boy?”

“I beat his door down, grabbed hold of him and snogged his face off in front of his roomie! It was wild!” Adam chuckled and turned to face Tommy, cupping his face softly with one hand “…and nothing like this!” as he captured Tommy’s lips in a sweet gentle kiss that sent his butterflies into raptures and made his lips tingle. _And he wanted more…much more…_

“What you do to me Tommy Joe!” Adam whispered against his mouth as he released him and turned back to Brad who was grinning. Tommy zoned out for several moments, struggling to control his wayward body and the images that swamped his head… _Adam kissing his way down his body, hands stroking with feather-light touches…fuck!_

He rejoined reality as Loretta approached the table apologetically. Adam smiled at her “what table?” as he nudged Brad to move.

“Far side…sorry to interrupt your lunch…”

“No problem! Be right back…”

Tommy watched as Adam greeted the two female fans who’d recognised him, smiling warmly and posing for pictures with them before signing their napkins with a flourish.

“Why don’t you tell him?”

“Huh?” Tommy responded automatically as his brain registered Brad’s voice directed at him without hearing the question.

Brad shuffled closer “why don’t you tell him you want him?”

Another blush rocketed over Tommy’s face and he struggled to find coherent words “I…but…what?”

“Tommy! It’s obvious! And why wouldn’t you? He’s fucking gorgeous! And you are soooooo his type too!”

“Huh?” Brad’s going to think you’re an utter moron, Tommy chided himself fiercely, dragging his eyes away from Adam who was still charming his fans with his dazzling smile and chatting animatedly. “His type?”

“Tiny, blond, and gorgeous! Look at _us, Tommy Joe!_ ” Brad tugged his own blond hair and laughed. “What’s not to love!” He lowered his voice “Adam’s really into you, surely you know that? I don’t get to meet just _anyone_ you know!”

“But I’m straight!” Tommy gazed helplessly at Brad, waiting for the tirade.

“Oh honey, this isn’t about labels! This is about connection and attraction, _about the person, it doesn’t matter what sex you are…_ ” He stroked Tommy’s cheek softly. “Is this the first time you’ve been attracted to a man?”

“Yes…” Tommy’s strangled whisper had Brad moving closer, about to whisper back when Adam slid back into the booth, startling them both. Neither had any time to say anything before their meals arrived immediately after and they swapped glances, understanding that this conversation wasn’t over. Adam was relating his chat with the fans as he attacked his lunch with enthusiasm.

The afternoon flew by and Tommy was able to relax again and simply enjoy the company. Brad was highly entertaining and full of stories of the things he and Adam had done over the years, laughing delightedly whenever he was able to drag a blush to his ex’s cheeks. 

It was almost five when Adam’s phone rang and he mouthed an apology as he slid out of the booth to take the call. Catching Tommy’s eye, Brad shook his head briefly, now wasn’t the time to continue that conversation, not with Adam stood so close! Instead, Brad fed Tommy the last of his cheesecake, grinning as Tommy opened wide for the mouthful and clamped his lips tightly over the prongs to suck the dessert seductively off the fork.

Brad leant in close “you do that when you’re together… _you know…together!_ He’ll be putty in your hands!” he giggled “well, not _quite_ putty…more like granite!” They both dissolved into helpless laughter as Adam rejoined them.

“Sorry to break up the party. I’ve got to go and do some promotional shots for the network for the AMAs. Seems no-one told Lane and now they’re shouting ‘cause we’re not there!” He reached for Tommy’s hand “come with me?” Tommy was powerless to resist the plea in those crystal blue eyes and he nodded enthusiastically. Adam pressed a kiss to the end of Tommy’s nose “thanks baby!” He turned to Brad “been a blast catching up as always. Don’t be a stranger…and I want to hear more about your web series idea” Brad grinned and stood up, reaching to pull Adam’s face down to his own as he kissed him sweetly. Tommy watched, his green goblins at peace, and smiled into the hug when Brad whispered in his ear that he’d be in touch very soon.

Stopping off to settle the bill and add a generous tip, they went to their respective cars. Tommy flopped back in his seat contentedly as Adam eased out into the traffic. “I like Brad!”

“Knew you would! You’re alike in many ways…”

“Blond, tiny and your type?” Tommy suggested boldly, his nerve bolstered by several glasses of fine wine and he was delighted when Adam’s freckles turned pink.

“I _was_ going to say great company, one hundred percent loyal and hugely talented!” Adam shrugged, grinning and glanced across to meet Tommy’s gaze “but, yes, all that too…”

Tommy’s head very helpfully provided a slow replay of Adam’s kiss, the feel of Adam’s lips moving softly against his own, his hand cupped possessively against Tommy’s cheek and he bit back a needy moan. Adam, damn him, just winked suggestively at him - exactly like he’d done at the video shoot  - and looked back at the road. He squirmed in his seat as his jeans tightened…

Fortunately for Tommy, Lane rang Adam’s phone to check on their whereabouts and Tommy relayed the conversation until they’d parked at the TV studios and were sprinting inside.

The photo shoot was protracted and rather boring after a while. Tommy wandered back to the dressing room and amused himself with an air guitar, playing all the Monte bits and putting his own spin on them. It wasn’t until Adam gave him a round of applause that he realised he had an audience, colour rushing to his face as he ran his fingers absently through his hair and fixed his gaze steadfastly on his feet.

Adam’s arms closing around him in a fierce hug had him melting into the embrace “one day you’ll play guitar for me, I promise…” he tipped Tommy’s chin up and kissed him briefly “I meant everything I said in the car…” He ginned as Tommy’s cheeks turned pink again, moving his mouth to whisper softly in his ear “and in case I haven’t mentioned it, you’re gorgeous when you blush!”

Tommy’s knees threatened to give way as the colour intensified on his face and Adam chuckled, breath warm against the sensitive skin of Tommy’s neck. “Shall we get out of here and go veg out with a film? You can help calm my nerves about our big day tomorrow…”

Anguished whimpering dragged Tommy back to the present, “please _…don’t go…Sauli…please…”_ Adam’s eyes flew open and he froze in Tommy’s arms. “Sauli? Where’s Sauli?”

“He’s gone…” Tommy whispered, his hold tightening instinctively as Adam began to pull away from him “I’m so sorry, babyboy…” Adam’s eyes filled with tears and he went limp in Tommy’s arms, his lips trembling as reality hit him once more. Tommy turned onto his side and brushed the fresh tears away gently “it’s gonna be okay…I promise…”

Adam gazed at him, their noses almost touching “ _you won’t leave me?_ ” the whisper low and shaky.

“I’ll _always_ be here…” Tommy’s fervent reply earned him a brief watery smile.

“I don’t deserve you! I’m not w…” Adam began, only to have his words cut off when Tommy’s mouth pressed against his in the softest of chaste kisses.

“No self doubt, babyboy, you’re the real deal, remember!” Tommy murmured against Adam’s lips as his heart skipped a few beats and his blood supply threatened to re-route. He pulled back before the urge to kiss Adam into the middle of next week took over, moving his hand to stroke through Adam’s hair once more.

“Talk to me, Tommy Joe, tell me about your week…” Adam wriggled closer and entangled their legs, sending tiny bursts of longing every time skin met skin until Adam was settled, Tommy resuming his gentle stroking of the black silky hair that his fingers were drawn to like magnets.

“Not much to tell. Had lunch with Sutan on Monday and we talked about his make-up video. Bumped into Brad and we had coffee, don’t remember what day! Been working with Bri on our new stuff…recording and all that shit! It’s rad dude!” Tommy’s face lit up in a huge smile “we’ve done blues, rock, pop, funk…y’know, just jammin’ till we find something we wanna try out and then lock it down…”

“Will you play it for me?” Adam yawned and snuggled closer “bet it sounds good, you’re real badass on that Fender…” his voice hitched “Sauli loved hearing you play too…”

Tommy’s hand stilled briefly, a sudden spike of mixed guilt and jealousy at the mention of his rival’s name…the rival who had become a good friend over the past two and a half years… _fuck! Why is my life so complicated…_

Adam moved his head against Tommy’s hand, an unspoken request for the attention to continue. The action brought a wry smile to Tommy’s lips and the tiniest of satisfied grunts from the man in his arms. As Adam drifted back into sleep, Tommy’s head resumed his replay of their history.

The morning of the AMAs saw an unusually quiet and subdued Adam nursing a lukewarm coffee as he gazed out of the window. Tommy’s arms sliding around his waist from behind as he pressed his cheek against Adam’s freckled back drew a strangled half-moan-half-gasp from Adam’s lips and he leant into embrace, dumping his mug onto the window ledge to link his own fingers with Tommy’s.

They stood motionless for long minutes, breathing slowing, every breath in tune as Adam finally relaxed, secure in the reassurance that whatever he did that night, Tommy would be there for him. Turning in Tommy’s arms, he slid one hand around the other man’s shoulders and tipped his chin up with the other, capturing his lips in a sweet and grateful kiss. Tommy’s mouth opened at the first soft lick against his lips, his tongue dancing shyly with Adam’s until they were both pressing harder, challenging for dominance, feral want building…

When they pulled apart, Tommy’s knees had turned to jelly and his brain had melted, the only thought on repeat _kiss me again, don’t stop…_ Gazing up into Adam’s eyes he must’ve conveyed something as a tiny smile curved Adam’s mouth and they sank back into another deep and increasingly passionate kiss, arms tightening around each other as they pulled ever closer.

It was hot and wet and perfect.

Tommy was lost to sheer sensation and it was several moments before he realised that the strange buzzing in his pocket was his phone. As Adam pulled back from his kiss swollen lips, Tommy groped for the offending tech and thumbed answer, Mike’s cheerful greeting struggling to impact on his desire-fogged brain.

“Just wanted to say ‘break a leg’ tonight; we’ll be cheering you from the bar – we’ve got a giant screen set up so we can all watch you be fucking awesome on national television…” Mike paused, waiting for some sort of response. Tommy’s head rallied enough to produce a vague grunt and a strangled laugh which was obviously enough as Mike shouted to someone with him in the apartment “poor angel - he’s got stage fright!”

Tommy grimaced as Dave’s amused voice carried clearly through virtual space and his two friends chortled loudly at his expense. Finally, spluttering as he recovered his breath, Mike was able to add how proud they all were of him and rang off with a chorus of “love you, fucker”.

Adam had moved back into the bedroom and was sorting out his clothes. He looked up as Tommy rejoined him “are we okay?” the question hushed as if he was almost afraid of the answer.

Mentally pummelling his butterflies into submission, Tommy forced a grin and nodded “always…we’re cool…”

Relief washed across Adam’s face and he abandoned his armful of clothes to gather an armful of Tommy instead. Squeezing him tightly, he pressed a kiss to the blond mop of hair and released him. “We need to get moving…”

Tommy bit his lip as he watched Adam’s retreating back as he headed for the bathroom, confusion tumbling in his head. _I want Adam…a man…but I’m straight… Fuck, he needed to talk to Brad…_

The day flew past in a blur of soundchecks, briefings and endless checking of details and costumes until suddenly it was time and Adam was being announced. Nerves taut and knees failing miserably at their job of supporting him, Tommy was glad to have the keyboard to hang on to, although he felt exposed without his bass…

A nod and they were off. At the first note, his nerves vanished and he _became the music_ … His eyes tried to follow Adam’s path through the complicated set and he almost forgot to play when he saw Adam stumble, fall and turn it neatly into a fucking ninja roll along the gangway… _fuck!_

As the third chorus built, Adam finally made it to the top of the stage and his band. Their eyes met as Adam moved towards him and Tommy could barely gasp at the heat in those lust-darkened blue depths before Adam’s lips were on his and his tongue was plundering the inside of Tommy’s mouth. For three incredible seconds Tommy was off the planet, his only link to reality the iron grip he had on the side of the keyboard.

Adam pulled away and carried on singing, moving back down the stairs to finish the song with a soaring note like only he could do. With applause ringing in their ears, they were hustled off and herded backstage; the band one side and Adam the other. Lane appeared at Adam’s side and led him away, her expression enough to render Adam silent.

Tommy barely heard his bandmates’ questions as he craned his neck to see what Adam was doing, slumping limply into a chair when he vanished from sight. The others had given up trying to question him and were discussing _the kiss_ – not for what it was, but the possible fallout from it...” _on National fucking TV..._ ” Monte breathed in an awed voice “way to go, Tommy!”

Adam found himself pushed into a tiny room that was obviously a storeroom, Lane scrutinising his face as she planted her hands on her hips “Well?”

Looking genuinely confused, Adam arched an eyebrow.

“Adam, you kissed your bass player on national television...”

“I know! It kinda went with the lyrics...”

Lane sighed and allowed herself a brief smile “it wasn’t planned?”

“No, I usually just pull his hair...” Adam shrugged “no big deal, Tommy’s cool with it!”

“I’m sure he is! My concern is with the millions of viewers, the networks and your label...they might not be quite as _cool_ with it...”

Adam’s brows knitted as he considered her words “double standards, utter crap; Madonna’s been doing it for years...”

“Just be prepared for questions when you go out there for interview...” Lane smiled warmly “Go kick ass, just don’t let them turn it into gay propaganda because that’ll stop your career before it’s even started...” She squeezed his arm “whatever happens, you know we’ve got your back... Go get ‘em rockstar!”

Ten minutes later, Tommy and the band were watching Adam’s post-show press interview as he fended off questions about poor taste and inappropriate behaviour, responding with poise and an openness that endeared him to many hardened reporters as he explained the ‘heat of the moment’ action, how it matched the lyrics and the double standards of society...

“ _Is the keyboard player gay?”_

The question carried loudly and the mass of reporters fell silent as they waited for Adam’s reply.

“Hell no! He’s straight but he’s open-minded and is laughing his head off right now at all this fuss over a three second kiss!” Flash bulbs lit up the space as Adam nodded his thanks and moved aside for the next artist to take his place.

Tommy flushed, then shivered as chills ran down his back, Adam’s words both reassuring and filling him with dread _how the fuck can I tell him now...now I’m labelled straight for the whole world..._ He stood up abruptly and moved towards the door. “Tommy?” Cam turned towards him, no judgement, just concern showing in her eyes.

“Just need some air...bit overwhelmed...” he let his voice trail away and shrugged, forcing a smile when she winked and turned back to the in depth state-of-morality-on-TV debate raging on the screen.

Once outside, he leant against the wall and closed his eyes, running a finger lightly over his lips...lips that still tingled from the heat of Adam’s kiss. He took a deep breath in as his blood surged southwards.

“Tommy Joe?” Adam’s voice made him jump and his eyes flew open to find Adam gazing at him warily. “I’m sorry...”

“Huh? What for?”

 “Kissing you in front of millions of viewers...” Adam’s voice dropped to a whisper “I didn’t think...I just went...it was just...oh fuck, Tommy! Just don’t hate me!” the bravado from his press interview evaporating.

“I could _never_ hate you, daft fucker!” Tommy grinned and opened his arms, gasping as a somewhat sweaty and tearful Adam flung himself into them, holding on tightly as he pressed Tommy back against the wall. A sudden thought sweeping through his mind set Tommy giggling and he bit his lip in an effort to stop hysteria taking over, his shoulders shaking.

“Tommy...baby, you okay?”

“Brad..!” the rest was lost, muffled beyond recognition into Adam’s chest.

“Brad?” Adam loosened his hold and tipped Tommy’s face up with his thumb “What about Brad?”

“He was right! He said I should kiss you at every opportunity!”

Adam’s face broke into a smile that lit up the surrounding airspace and he pressed his lips softly to Tommy’s, barely making contact until a needy whimper escaped Tommy’s mouth and Adam closed the distance once more, kissing him thoroughly until he was a molten heap, totally owned by Adam’s talented lips and tongue ... _a cold sweat, hot headed believer..._

Finally releasing him, Adam grinned happily “how about I do that every night on tour - we could have _our song..._ What one shall we have?”

Breathless and trembling, Tommy had no hesitation “Fever” he grinned briefly “that was the first song of yours that I played on bass that night of my guitar audition...” He paused “are we really gonna do this? Kiss on stage _every night?_ ”

Nodding, Adam leant closer until their lips were just a breath apart. “Now let’s get the hell out of here and go get some practice in!”

When they rejoined the rest of the band and Lane, the others took one look at Tommy’s kiss swollen lips and chuckled, swapping silent messages, some of which Adam obviously caught as he turned pinker than Tommy had ever seen.

“Are we all happy now?” Lane glanced at her watch. “If we are, can we go home? I have a date with a hot bath!”

Laughing good naturedly they followed her trim figure out to the cars...


	2. Chapter 2

They were woken by the insistent ringing from Adam’s phone. Releasing Tommy from his arms, Adam rolled over to grab his phone from beside the bed, glancing sleepily at the caller ID before answering. “Lane? What’s wrong?”

Tommy watched the myriad of emotions cross Adam’s face; hurt, anger, confusion and frustration as he listened to whatever Lane was saying. When she cut the call he sat on the edge of the bed, shoulders hunched. “Fuck _fuck fuck **fuck**_ …”

Tommy edged closer, reaching out to touch Adam’s arm. “Adam?”  

“Good Morning America have kicked us off their schedule…they fucking dumped us because my _‘behaviour_ isn’t something they can be seen to condone’…” Adam was livid, angrier than Tommy had ever seen him, shrugging Tommy’s hand off to start pacing the floor. “How **_dare_** they insinuate that I’d do that again on their show. Double fucking standards, that’s what it is, if it was two girls then it’s okay, but if _I_ kiss another man that’s unacceptable? Fuck them and their prejudice!”

He stopped pacing and glared out of the window. “ ** _Fuck_** _fuckfuck_ …” It was early, still dark, the first hint of dawn just creeping over the horizon.

Tommy jumped as Adam’s fist smashed against the window frame, the sound ridiculously loud in the heavy silence that had settled over the room. He couldn’t stop the whimper and the whispered “I’m sorry, it’s my fault…” that fell unbidden from his lips.

Adam spun around, starting as if he’d forgotten Tommy was there, before striding back to the bed to gather Tommy into his arms. “What are you sorry for?” all vestiges of anger now gone.

“If I hadn’t been there…if…”

“Oh baby, I’m not cross with you and of course it’s not your fault! It was all mine and if I’ve fucked up my career then it’s all down to me…” He hugged Tommy closer. “ _I’m_ sorry if I made you feel bad…” Adam chuckled wickedly “It was a fucking awesome kiss!” he pressed feather light brushes of his lips down the side of Tommy’s neck, lingering where neck and shoulder met to nibble at the sensitive skin.

Arching his head to the side to give Adam more access, Tommy practically purred in the embrace, eyes closed, lips softly parted. With a last soft nip of tender flesh, Adam returned to capture Tommy’s mouth, tongues swirling lazily before sliding away to explore every crevice of the other’s mouth.

Resting foreheads together, they remained motionless and silent for long comfortable minutes until Adam’s phone buzzed. Without releasing his hold on Tommy, Adam reached over to grab it from the pillow where he’d abandoned it earlier and thumbed answer, putting it onto speaker. “Lane…”

“Letterman can’t wait to grill you!” she said without preamble “and I’ve got you another breakfast show slot. You’ve also got several radio shows and magazines. Not all are friendly so be prepared for some of them to try and push your buttons…” She paused “Have you checked on Tommy?”

Squeezing Tommy’s hand briefly, Adam took a breath “he’s here”

“Is he okay?” Lane didn’t seem at all surprised to find them together.

“’m fine…”

“You know there are…” for the first time she faltered “um, _elements_ of the media and certain social groups out there who are…” her voice trailed away

“ _I’m taking care of him…_ ” Adam’s hold tightened “I won’t let anyone hurt him or they’ll have me to deal with” he added grimly.

“Just be careful!” Lane sounded relieved “I’ve emailed your schedule, the car’ll pick you up in an hour.”

They stared at each other as Lane rang off. “This is it…” Adam’s voice dropped to a whisper “this is where I either fly or completely fuck up the biggest break I’ve ever had…” his face paled behind the mass of freckles “what if I blow it? What if…”

His heart melting at the vulnerability in Adam’s eyes, Tommy grabbed his hands and carefully interlinked their fingers. “Real deal, dude! Remember that always…” He rubbed their noses together “just be so real they have no fucking place to go…”

Squeezing their linked fingers, Adam grinned briefly “since when did you get so damn smart?”

Tommy shrugged minutely “about a nano-second after some singer kissed me on National fucking TV!” he looked into Adam’s eyes, warm brown meeting cobalt blue “it _was_ a fucking awesome kiss!”

Adam’s delighted laughter echoed around the room and they fell back against the sheets in a tangled heap.

The interviews and appearances continued to focus on _that shocking kiss_ as most interviewers termed it, the same questions endlessly repeated and focusing more on his sexuality than Adam’s music… Adam’s quiet insistence that he’d done nothing wrong and his refusal to apologise won him more fans than he lost and editorials proclaimed repeatedly that “here was a breath of fresh air…”

Tommy was once again blown away by Adam’s professionalism in the face of constant attack; good manners, poise and that _realness_ he’d promised, shining through time after time. The album flew off the shelves, debuting at number three on the Billboard charts, a milestone the band celebrated with a party at Lee’s, leaving everyone crashed out on sofas and the floor with spectacular hangovers the following morning.

Rehearsals for the tour now revolved around the stage blocking, dance routines and alternative arrangements for the songs that could be either dance tempo or slower acoustic performances. The Erotica Interlude was perfected and Adam finally got the laser show he’d been begging Lane to arrange. Stage clothing grew ever more theatrical with glitter and feathers as Adam determined that he was going to “fucking rock this tour!” and Sutan was having the time of his life sourcing what they needed and accessorising in his own inimitable style. The birth of the Glam Nation Tour was imminent…

In early December they performed at the Jingle Ball with Adam hosting the show and then rocked in the New Year at Paramount Studios’ Gridlock. The crowds were amazing and the love and energy flowing from them was a whole new high they all fed off, laughter and high jinks the theme of the night.

It was a crazy time and Tommy absolutely loved it…

The start of 2010 saw yet more performances: Oprah Winfrey, AOL sessions, iHeart radio and Fantasy _fucking_ Springs… Adam sprung an unrehearsed acoustic Whole Lotta Love into the set, singing to Tommy in his _pure sex_ voice without ever coming close enough to touch and sending him into a smouldering state of want. The looks that passed between them were hot enough to spontaneously combust and Tommy was almost relieved when Adam lifted the sexual tension, calling him Glitterbaby and telling the crowd he loved Tommy’s freshly dyed hair as he tugged lightly on the blond mop.

Coming off that stage, drenched in sweat and falling into Adam’s arms for a celebratory tongue-tangling kiss after their first full solo concert was a feeling Tommy would never forget and he locked that memory away forever… _I threw my hands in the air said show me something…_

International venues in Sweden, British Columbia and Moscow preceded the main tour – the incredible list of venues for that just took his breath away and it was way beyond living a dream…

Surprisingly, staying grounded wasn’t a problem. Tommy wasn’t a party animal and most nights he curled up with Adam, or on the sofa watching his favourite box sets that Adam had now bought copies of, for when Tommy’s insomnia claimed him or Adam was out having fun.

Watching Adam performing _Whataya want from me_ on Idol from backstage was surreal. As for Adam – he was revelling in his role as a guest mentor for ‘Elvis’ week and there were many _moments_ Tommy tucked away safely in his special memory as Adam radiated happiness and confidence, burrowing himself ever deeper into Tommy’s heart.

Playing guitar for the KissFM radio concert in May, as Monte was away for the birth of his twins, was an experience beyond anything else and despite loving his bass, Tommy allowed himself to dream of the day when it would be just him and Adam, travelling the country, as he played guitar for the promotional tour for Adam’s next album…it was a beautiful dream…

Before they knew it, they were on the road, cool-shit tour bus and a huge happy family that everyone immediately settled into despite the lack of any real privacy and a need to suffer the idiosyncratic oddities of their tour-siblings... Tommy fared better than most; not only did he have Sutan who protected him fiercely from anyone who dared to even _think_ ill of the tiny blond, he also got to cuddle up frequently in Adam’s big bed – especially welcome when it was freezing outside and Adam’s shared bodily heat was a survival necessity!

He had so many fucking amazing memories of that tour...kissing Adam every night on stage in front of thousands of screaming fans was something he’d never tire of, the touch of their lips now so familiar and yet new and special every time...the butterflies were old friends now and performed with him; every kiss, every touch, every heated look... _Adam..._

Stage antics were a feature every night, nothing ever planned but still managing to somehow be just between the two of them despite the presence of the audience, the rest of the band and entire stage crew. Adam held his hand, pulled his hair, pressed up hard against him…it was an Adam-blend of overt sexual flirtation and intimate _just for us_ seduction leaving Tommy with a raging hard on that demanded attention after every show. He’d never jerked off so much, groaning Adam’s name night after night in the shower with the hot water cascading down on him as he hit his climax or in his tiny tour bunk, biting down hard on his lip in an attempt to stifle his cries.

Tommy’s birthday saw them in New Zealand and he could’ve cried with sheer elation when Adam announced they were playing one of Tommy’s favourite songs for the encore... _it’s all for Tommy Joe..._ Enter Sandman sounded mind-numbingly good and he was head banging with the beat in between watching Adam sex it up with his microphone _so fucking hot..._

His legs propelled him forward as Adam curled a finger, _he said if you dare come a little closer…_ beckoning “Happy birthday Tommy...” Their lips met and Tommy melted from the heat, electricity zinging through every nerve ending and making his toes curl.

He never wanted it to end...

Pulling apart when he ran out of breath – and Adam had amazing breath control – Tommy could barely stand, his leg popping like a fucking princess and he staggered back to his spot...his _Pretty Kitty pen..._ He loved that Adam had nicknamed him, something else that was _just theirs…_ And still he hadn’t summoned up the courage to say anything to this man that he now loved more than life itself, loved with every fibre of his being… _round and around and around we go…_

Brad called regularly and teased him gently, offering a friendly, sympathetic ear when Tommy couldn’t sleep and they talked endlessly about the man they both loved… “Sometimes I think he knows…” Tommy sighed heavily “and I really _mean_ to say something but it just never comes out… What I want is _him_ to say something…” _oh, now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know…_ “but how can he, when he’s labelled me straight in front of the world press…”

With Brad’s assurances that it would all work out in the end, warm and comforting in his ears, Tommy tried to get comfortable on the sofa, finally falling asleep huddled under the blanket as the bus rolled onwards to Helsinki.

Finland was _fucking freezing_ and Tommy was wearing most of the clothes he possessed when he finally ventured outside. For its lack of temperature, Finland more than made up for it in its beauty. Everything was crisp and clean and he explored the city enthusiastically, Sutan and Adam acting as tour guides and attempting to pronounce words from their ‘100 Most Useful Finnish Words’ book much to the amusement of the locals, many of whom spoke rather good English!

There was much laughter and good natured shoving, arms draping around shoulders and waists as the merry trio made their way around the sights.

Of course, that was before…

_Before…_

_…him…_

Tommy caught his breath and forced the memory away, opening his eyes to gaze at the sleeping man in his arms. He was so beautiful; so strong yet vulnerable, the epitome of love and generosity and the simple _realness_ that was _just Adam…_ He bit back a sob as the bittersweet aching love that Tommy had learned to live with suddenly crashed over him in a tidal wave of free-flowing emotion…

Despite all his best efforts, the memories of that night insisted on being revisited.

The show had been a resounding success, their kiss as hot and intimate as ever, the fans screaming themselves hoarse every time Adam had rubbed against him, pulled his hair and run his hands up and down Tommy’s chest. The high had carried over, the band heading off to a club as they had the luxury of a hotel bed that night. Tommy was looking forward to cuddling up with Adam in a bed with fresh crisp linen and the promise of ordering room service in the morning…

After an hour of grinding on the dance floor between Sutan and Adam, Tommy was more than ready for another beer, making gestures with his hand when his dance partners grabbed at him as he moved away. Adam shook his head at the _want one?_ grinning and spinning around to dance with Cam as Sutan followed Tommy back to the bar.

Fresh drinks in their hands, they made their way back upstairs to their table. Monte was deep into one of his interminable expositions of how the symbolic power of art and music could become efficient power and lead to changes in society. Rolling their eyes at the emphatic arguments flowing back and forth, Tommy and Sutan moved to the balcony rail to look out over the dance floor.

Cam was now dancing up close and personal with a raven haired beauty in a skin-tight catsuit, both women mirroring each other’s movements with gazes locked on each other.

Sutan nodded and giggled as Tommy ran his hands suggestively up and down his own body; it looked like Cam would be enjoying a good night! Bumping shoulders, they resumed their survey of the dancing crowds, Tommy searching for Adam in vain.

“Where’s Adam?” He nudged Sutan “I can’t see him…” Tommy leant further over the rail, scanning the dance floor.

“Gone for a..?” Sutan paused and grinned “my, you really _have_ got it bad for him…” He pulled Tommy in for a one armed hug “oh honey, the sooner you two get it on the better – and don’t think for one moment that we don’t hear you moaning his name when you’re alone in your bunk…” He squeezed Tommy’s waist affectionately as colour flooded Tommy’s face. “No shame in getting off thinking about that beautiful face and bod…and he’s really into you too…oh!” Sutan stopped abruptly as he caught sight of Adam beside a booth on the far side of the club.

He felt Tommy tense as he followed Sutan’s gaze. Adam was leant against the side of the booth talking animatedly to a tiny blond man in tight black jeans and an apricot vest. The blond head was tilted to one side, a perfect smile on his lips as he fixed his eyes intently on Adam’s face.

Sutan recognised that body language. Sexual attraction. He could practically smell the pheromones, even from their lofty heights.

“Fuck!” Seemed Tommy recognised it too.

As they watched, Adam took the lollipop he’d been sucking out of his mouth and stuck in into his new friend’s mouth. After a momentary look of surprise, a flirtatious grin lit the blond man’s face.

Sutan grabbed Tommy’s hand.  “We’re going down there. Let’s be social and introduce ourselves...” he smiled sweetly “Adam’s yours baby, no way am I letting some cute blond twink get in there!”

Despite the full scale butterfly riot currently taking place in his stomach, Tommy flashed Sutan a grateful smile and allowed himself to be led along the railing, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on the pair below. As they neared the stairs, Adam draped an arm around his companion and the two of them disappeared into the heaving throng of bodies on the dance floor.

Tommy stopped dead and searched frantically for them, eyes scanning desperately until he found them pressed close together, writhing and grinding, Adam’s chest to blondie’s back. To call it dancing was a stretch and there was no mistaking what was going through both their minds. After several minutes _dancing_ the blond turned and slid his arms around Adam’s neck, pulling his head down to whisper something into Adam’s ear. The grin that lit Adam’s face was positively feral and he nodded, releasing his hold to follow the tiny figure off the floor towards the club entrance without a backward glance.

Tommy’s anguished butterflies plummeted to his boots and he couldn’t breathe, his mouth working wordlessly as he stared at the last place Adam had been. Sudden tears sprung into his eyes and he bit his lip hard as he attempted to blink them away. His efforts proved fruitless as they trickled hot and wet down his cheeks and he scrubbed haphazardly at his face with a hand that trembled. The next moment, he was enveloped into Sutan’s embrace as his friend murmured quiet words of reassurance.

Stroking Tommy’s hair, Sutan held him until his muffled sobs had subsided and Tommy went limp in his arms.

“Dry your eyes, honey, we’re going back to the hotel, we’re gonna get off our faces and charge the whole shebang to Adam’s account. We’ll teach him to fuck with us…”

Tommy’s head jerked up to reveal smudged mascara and red rimmed eyes as he muttered bitterly “or _not fuck_ with us…” he paused and took a breath “… _with me…”_ He pressed back into Sutan’s chest “I want him so much…”

“I know Vayvee, I know…” Sutan tipped Tommy’s chin up and kissed him lightly. “Now wipe those big brown eyes and let’s get out of here!”

Fifteen minutes later they were in Sutan’s room clutching a bottle of Jack and a bottle of Tequila from the bar downstairs, dutifully charged to Adam’s room.

Another hour later, pleasurably drunk and the pain of Adam’s betrayal somewhat dulled by the 40% proof alcohol content free-flowing in his bloodstream, Tommy spilled his innermost feelings, warm and comforted in Sutan’s embrace as they sprawled on his bed. Sutan nodded and agreed in all the right places…how wonderful Adam had been, sorting things out when Tommy’s Dad had died, the long, late night phone calls when Tommy’d lost his passport…Adam _cared_ … It was cathartic to finally vocalise it and by the time both bottles were empty Sutan knew _everything_ , some things Tommy didn’t even realise he’d thought about, like having a family together...a dark haired, blue-eyed boy and blonde, brown-eyed girl, and a spaniel puppy called Fever…

Finally exhausted, they wriggled out of their clothes down to their underwear to cuddle up together and promptly fell asleep.

A hammering on the door woke them, Tommy staggering to open it as Sutan groaned and bitched about the pounding in his head.

“Thank fuck!” Adam folded Tommy into his arms “I’ve been so worried…”

For a few perfect moments Tommy melted against Adam’s chest, immersing himself in the warmth of his body and that heady aroma that was _just Adam_ before the memory of the previous night stampeded though his head, bugle blaring, to ensure he remembered why he’d got so off his fucking head. Pulling out of Adam’s arms he returned to Sutan’s bed and sank back down.

“I’m fine”

“You weren’t answering your phone…I’ve called a gazillion times, left you messages…your bed wasn’t slept in…” Adam followed him towards the bed, grinning faintly at the sight of Sutan with a pillow over his face to keep the light out of his eyes.

“’m fine!” Tommy repeated, desperately trying to prevent himself from either flinging himself into Adam’s arms and kissing him senseless or screaming every swear word he’d ever heard and demanding to know in a jealous rage if Adam had fucked the twink into the middle of next week.

Neither would help the warzone going off in his head right now.

 Adam smiled brightly and reached to stroke the hair from over Tommy’s eyes, his smile fading as Tommy moved away from his touch. He dropped his hand back to his side and looked searchingly at the pair. “Did I miss something?”

Sutan merely grunted “bitch” from beneath the pillow, causing a raised eyebrow and a puzzled frown as Adam intensified his attention on an obviously unhappy Tommy.

“Tommy Joe?”

 _Fuck!_ The use of his full name sent sluggish corpuscles on a valiant charge southwards. _Fuck!_ “Bathroom! Have to piss…” Tommy fled, the door banging closed way too loudly for his fragile head.

Adam sat on the bed and poked Sutan in the ribs, leaning closer to the pillow to whisper “you _will_ tell me what’s upset my Tommy Joe…”

“Hangover…go away!”

Adam sighed, knowing all too well he’d get nothing from Sutan and pushed himself off the bed, moving to tap lightly on the bathroom door. 

“Tommy? Are you okay?” Muffled curses filtered through the panelled wood followed by a crash and some emphatic swear words.

“Tommy! Talk to me!” Adam sat down on the floor, leaning against the door “I’m not going away!”

Silence.

“I’m sorry” He bumped his head against the door. “If I’ve done something…” Adam paused, unsure of where to go from there; this was untried territory for them “…just…sorry… _please_ come out and talk to me…”

The door opened a fraction and he almost cricked his neck as he whipped his head around to look up into Tommy’s huge brown eyes, the black circles he’d missed earlier now not escaping his notice. Tommy obviously wasn’t sleeping again.

“Adam, ’m fine…I just need a bit of time to myself…y’know…I need to…”

“…brood?” Adam’s attempt at levity fell flat as hurt flashed across Tommy’s face. “Sorry… _fuck, I’m so shit at this…_ ” he reached tentatively towards Tommy’s hand that was curled around the doorframe, relieved when Tommy allowed him to entwine their fingers. “You need time away from everything…from me…to…”

“…just be me…” Tommy’s eyes pricked with fresh tears as his overhead position gave him a view inside the top of Adam’s t-shirt, the freckled skin marked with obvious purple bruises… Squeezing Adam’s hand briefly, he gently pulled away. “I want to shower, get some breakfast and I’ll see you later…”

“Promise?”

Tommy nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He closed the door again slowly, stopping at Adam’s sudden hoarse whisper “are we okay?” anxiety written all over his face…that face Tommy loved…

“We’re good…” he nodded and closed the door, his legs buckling as he slid down it to crumple in a silent heap on the floor, the tears now flowing freely.

Tommy sat on the floor for so long his arse had gone numb and only moved when Sutan finally bawled him out for hogging the bathroom.

When both he and Sutan had showered and downed painkillers, they called room service and ordered breakfast with copious amounts of coffee. With their bellies full and hangovers receding, Sutan studied Tommy carefully, the intense scrutiny bringing a flush to his face.

“Spill it, Tommy Joe!”

“He… _Adam_ …had love bites…on his chest…” Tommy chewed on his lip as he choked the words out.

“So he got laid! No big deal!” Sutan stated bluntly as he pulled Tommy into a hug, petting his hair gently. “Think about it; the twink was tiny, pretty and blond – who the fuck does that remind you of? Who was he thinking about?” He chuckled as Tommy wriggled out of his hold, hope lighting his brown eyes.

“You think..?”

“Why don’t you just tell him?”

“I can’t!” Tommy crawled back into Sutan’s arms, his all too brief euphoria vanishing as despair sent him plummeting him back to earth with a thud.

“I don’t understand Vayvee- you want him, he wants you…the pair of you should be fucking the nights away!”

“I can’t! He told the world’s press I’m straight… _and I am_ …I’ve only ever been with girls…I liked it, so that makes me straight, right?” Tommy’s voice hitched and he shook in Sutan’s embrace, talking into the other man’s chest as his tears soaked into the material of Sutan’s expensive top. “I can’t tell him, can’t be with him because the fucking haters will say he turned me gay or that he lied when he kissed me at the AMA that first time and it’ll hurt his career and…and… _why does it fucking hurt so much?_ ”

Sutan tightened his hold on the trembling body in his arms, rocking them both gently as Tommy sobbed. When he could cry no more, he lay motionless in Sutan’s lap as his friend outlined his plans to get Tommy his man.

“If you can’t _tell_ him, you’ll just have to _show him…_ be everywhere, looking so fucking hot and sexy with those huge brown eyes gazing at him; give him so much to think about that he’ll forget he ever met _Sowerlee_ or whatever that twink’s name was…”

Slightly comforted, Tommy curled closer against Sutan’s warm body and fell asleep, his dreams haunted by images of Adam’s smile as he’d locked eyes with the tiny blond Finn…

Once he’d woken up, Sutan did Tommy’s make up and they headed out to join the others for a late buffet lunch in Adam’s suite. “Go get your man…” Sutan gave him a gentle push towards Adam as their leader’s face broke into a delighted smile and he opened his arms to fold Tommy into a hug.

Loosening his hold, Adam pulled back and looked searchingly at him. Tommy met his gaze, smiled softly and licked his lips…Sutan nodding approvingly from the side of the room. Adam’s eyes widened and he leant in, slowly to give Tommy time to pull away if he wanted to, before their lips met and Adam licked into Tommy’s mouth, their tongues swirling happily until they had to surface for air.

“You okay?” Adam’s voice, soft against his ear set his ever-present butterflies into familiar raptures and he nodded, nuzzling closer as he immersed himself in the aroma that was _just Adam…_

“’m fine…” he mumbled into Adam’s neck

“I was worried about you…after…”

“Really, I’m fine…” Tommy interrupted, not wanting to hear anything about the previous night. He took a deep breath in and lifted his head “just quit talking and kiss me!”

Adam didn’t need telling twice, owning Tommy’s mouth with his tongue and swallowing the moans and needy whimpers as Tommy melted against him.

A cushion winging through the air smacked them rudely back into the present, Neil glaring at his sibling. “Enough of the snogging already! We’re about to eat!”

The room exploded with good humoured sniggering and cat calls as Adam and Tommy joined their friends and they helped themselves to food. It was a loud and enjoyable lunch; jokes, stories and some wild horseplay that resulted in Adam and Neil banging their heads together with a crack as each attempted to outplay the other on air guitar.

Regretfully, they stacked their plates onto the trolley and returned to their rooms to gather their things and hit the road again. As the miles of Europe rolled under the wheels, Sutan kept his promise to make sure Tommy looked edible, sweet and totally hot in varying degrees so Adam couldn’t keep his eyes, or hands and lips, off his bass player. That club in Helsinki wasn’t mentioned again.

Munich was bitterly cold and Tommy huddled into layers of t-shirts, sweatshirts and a thick hoodie, leaving only the tiniest bit of pale skin visible. Adam laughed as Tommy tripped down the bus steps, shoulders hunched against the elements and his hands buried deep into his pockets.

“Aww are you a cold pretty kitty?” he teased, tugging Tommy into his arms to wrap him into a hug.

“’s freezing, fucker!” Tommy burrowed under Adam’s coat, his hands sliding under clothing until they found warm flesh. He sniggered as Adam yelped and clung like a limpet when Adam attempted to escape the frozen mitts running over his skin.

“You’re fucking freezing!”

“Yep! Told ya!” Tommy purred happily as Adam gave up trying to escape and pulled him in closer. Snuggled into Adam’s embrace, Tommy listened to the plans for the day; a little exploring and shopping, soundcheck and some rest time before the show.

Adam was in a buoyant mood as they hit the shops, buying gifts for the whole band and his dancers and lavishing Tommy with three times as many things as the others. Every time Tommy protested, Adam murmured against his ear in a seductive whisper to draw a blush to Tommy’s cheeks and make the shop staff giggle.

After a rather good burger from a stand on the street, they headed back to the bus to sort their gear and run through the soundcheck. System set, they settled in for some chill time. Adam put on one of his DVDs and stretched out on his bed, curling an arm around Tommy’s waist as they cuddled up together. Warm and comfortable, Tommy fell asleep, Adam’s eyes closing not long after.

They were woken by Adam’s phone vibrating against their bodies. Adam groped between them and answered sleepily, his free arm curling back around Tommy’s waist to keep him close.

“Aaa-daam!” The accent immediately conjured memories of a perfect smile and some enterprising flexibility from their brief encounter and Adam was powerless to stop his blood supply rushing southwards as the images tumbled through his head.

“Sauli?”

Tommy froze in Adam’s arms at the name, his heart sinking as Adam released him and sat up. “Hi! This is a surprise!”

“You give me your number and tell me to call? I call!”

Adam’s amused chuckle had Tommy’s butterflies encased in lead overcoats even before Adam stood up and headed towards the bathroom “I did! And you are indeed! How’ve you been..?”

 As soon as the door to the tiny bathroom had closed, Tommy was fumbling for his own phone, sending a frantic message to Sutan. Then he dragged on the discarded layers of jumpers and his hoodie and fled, hurrying through the bus to the doors and stumbled out into the cold.

Ten minutes later he was blurting the story out to Sutan in between huge gasping breaths. Sutan lay back on the stage and stared up at the lighting gantry. For long minutes the only sound was Tommy’s deep breathing as he attempted to bring his racing heartbeat under control. Finally, Sutan sat up and took Tommy’s hands in his.

“This changes things, Vayvee…”

“I know… _I don’t know what to do… He never gives his number out…”_ Tommy’s voice dropped to an anguished whisper, glancing anxiously around the empty venue as if he expected Adam to appear from the shadows.

Sutan squeezed Tommy’s hands reassuringly. “You can do this…you have to be bold and tell him…tell him you want him…”

“ _I can’t…”_ Tommy’s face crumpled and he blinked the tears out of his eyes. “I _can’t_ let him be accused of turning me gay or lying…I **_won’t_** …I won’t have the haters attack him over me.” He smiled sadly “I love him too much to let that happen…”

Tugging him in for a tight hug, Sutan petted Tommy’s hair “You’re a good man Tommy Joe Ratliff – a crazy stubborn fucker, but a _good man…_ We’ll make Adam _see…”_ Sutan pulled back and cupped Tommy’s face, pressing a light kiss to his lips. “You’ll be so fucking hot tonight he won’t be able to take his eyes off you – and I’ll keep him out of your way until you go on stage…increase the anticipation. The rest is up to you…” He smiled wickedly “be bold and fucking blow his mind – show him that this pretty kitty can be a wild tiger too!”

“I love you, boo!” Tommy’s face was lit up with excitement and hope as they made their way back to the bus.

 There was little left of the afternoon by the time they’d crept back on board the bus and Sutan had painstakingly added threads of glitter to Tommy’s hair and applied his makeup. Tommy grabbed his stage clothes and returned to the venue, dragging Isaac off with him under the guise of an errand for Adam.

“Sutan, what the fuck’s going on? Where’s Tommy?” Adam’s raised voice carried across the corridor from his dressing room to where Tommy was nervously picking at his chipped nail polish, restlessly pacing the floor of the room opposite as Isaac got changed.

“He’s getting ready and so are you! Now keep still so I can do your eyes!” Sutan’s softer tones held a quiet undertone of authority and Adam could be heard grumbling but peace reigned again.

Isaac watched Tommy curiously as he stopped pacing and began chewing on his thumbnail. “Why are you hiding from him?” he paused to choose his words carefully “he obviously wants you…and you want him…” the drummer shrugged “I don’t see the problem! Hell, he’s sex on legs! If _I_ was gay I’d be after him like a…”

“I’m not gay!” Tommy interrupted, sagging against the wall as Isaac just stared at him. “I’ve only ever been with girls. So that makes me…” his voice trailed away.

“…a gorgeous bloke who has the hots for another gorgeous bloke! And what does it matter anyway? I’d love my Sophie if she was an alien, I don’t care what anyone says – if you love someone, that’s all that matters!” Isaac grinned at the dumfounded expression on Tommy’s face. “I haven’t been here that long, but I can see you’ve got it bad for the boss man!”

“I haven’t told anyone…apart from Sutan…” Tommy’s anxious face had Isaac hiding a grin as he wrapped Tommy into a sudden hug.

“Your secret love’s safe with me, Blondie!” Isaac released him and slapped his backside. So shall we skip out while Sutan’s got him pinned down? We can go organise shit on stage or whatever…”  

Tommy grinned. “I like you!” he spluttered “in a good kind of brother way, not…”

His smile widening as Tommy’s cheeks turned pink, Isaac punched him on the arm “Whatever, dude, let’s go before the boss man escapes!”

By the time they were walking out onto the stage Tommy was in a fever pitch of mixed panic and anticipation, alternately tossing his hair out of his eyes and the next moment hiding behind it! He took his place on his Kitty spot, his nerves retreating the second his fingers touched the strings of his bass. Suddenly he felt invincible… _bold…_

The screams from the audience rose umpteen decibels as Adam appeared on the stage and they swung into Voodoo, Adam immediately moving to drape an arm over Tommy’s shoulder and press into him, holding him close, fingers spread possessively over Tommy’s chest. Tommy’s heart-rate increased tenfold, his fingers playing on automatic as he sank into the warmth of Adam’s body and the crowd went wild. When the song ended and they moved on to Down the Rabbit Hole, Tommy lost himself to the beat, head tossing and foot tapping as the rhythm and Adam’s voice owned his soul.

He came back to earth with a bump as they came to the end of Ring of Fire and the unmistakable opening chords of Fever sent his blood supply on a charge southwards in happy anticipation… He met Adam’s eyes from the first word, holding his gaze as Adam moved towards him. As their lips met for their usual kiss, Tommy snaked his arm around Adam’s waist and held him close, prolonging the moment until Adam was forced to pull away to continue the song. Tommy couldn’t help the ‘wow!’ as he stared into Adam’s lust darkened blue depths, his heart skipping a beat at the unmistakable _wantwantwant_ blazing back at him.

From that moment it was like they were attached by an invisible thread; Adam couldn’t seem to be apart from his bass player for more than a few bars and Tommy seemed incapable of staying in his kitty pen, stalking Adam around the stage as they went back to back and Adam pulled Tommy’s hair and generally manhandled him, much to the delight of the crowd.

As they staggered off stage after the encore, Adam dragged Tommy into his dressing room and locked the door behind them before pressing Tommy back against it and kissed him into oblivion, owning his mouth and melting his brain. Tommy moaned into the kiss, hands roaming hungrily over Adam’s clothes as his knees buckled and his butterflies soared into the stratosphere.

Adam nudged Tommy’s legs apart and slid between them, hot hard swelling digging into Tommy’s thigh as they arched against each other, chasing delicious friction and release from the burning desire rampaging through their bodies, their kiss hotter and wetter with every passing moment.

Pulling away from Tommy’s lips and grinning wickedly at the needy whimper that followed, Adam grazed his teeth down the side of Tommy’s neck, lingering at the juncture of neck and shoulder to suck at the sensitive skin hard enough to leave a deep purple bruise…

Pausing a second to admire his handiwork, Adam claimed Tommy’s lips once more, tongue plundering the contours of his mouth as they continued to grind their hips together. Coming up for air, Adam traced the outline of Tommy’s mouth with his finger, the feather-light touch of his kiss swollen lips leaving a tingling trail in its wake.

“What you do to me Tommy Joe… _if you weren’t straight…”_ Adam’s throaty whisper and the feral need radiating from his eyes filled Tommy with lust induced confidence

“ _Fuck…Adam…I…I’m…_ ”

A sharp rapping on the door made them jump, Neil’s voice sounding irritated “I know you’re in there Lambert! Get your arse out here now; that TV crew’s getting pissy waiting for you and the fans are screaming for you to sign outside. I’m cold and I’m tired and if you’re having a fucking diva strop in your dressing room...well, it stops now! Got it!” The door was thumped again as Adam and Tommy stared at each other.

“Fuck!” Adam pressed a soft kiss to Tommy’s mouth “I forgot about the interview…” He stepped back and adjusted his trousers “…stay here? Wait for me?”

He unlocked the door, smoothed his hair down and straightened his top before heading outside to the waiting crowds and cameras.

Left alone, Tommy slumped back against the wall, heart pumping furiously as he cursed using every swear word he’d ever heard… _so fucking close to telling him…fuckshitbugger…_ He closed his eyes against the tears of frustration, opening them again when he heard Sutan calling his name a few minutes later.

“Vayvee, Adam wants you outside to sign for the fans…” he scrutinised Tommy’s face carefully “…they’re asking for you…are you..?”

“’m fine!” Tommy pushed himself off the wall and ran his fingers through his hair, shedding glitter everywhere as Sutan looked unconvinced. “I almost told him… _almost…the words were there…_ ”

“So…”

“Neil!” Tommy sighed theatrically “Neil fucking Lambert and that sodding TV crew!”

“Talking of Neil..!”

“Yeah… _bastard!_ ” They looked at each other and burst out laughing before linking arms and hurrying out to join Adam and the rest of the band. A huge cheer rang out as Tommy appeared and he blushed as Adam waved and blew a kiss at him.

By the time they’d all signed autographs and posed for pictures it was time to head back to the bus and hit the road. Cam and Monte instigated a takeaway and movie party and any chance of alone time vanished. Tommy smiled gamely along with the rest and tucked his aching heart back into its box for now. 

From Germany they rolled into France and then back into Germany. Every show was electric; the connection between them was rapidly approaching a crescendo but with Adam’s numerous interviews and promo work, their alone time was minimal and there never seemed to be that perfect moment. Tommy lamented long and with feeling to his confidents – Brad on the phone, Sutan and Isaac on the bus…collectively they cursed Neil to a life of eternal damnation for his untimely interruption… _so close…_

Then they hit Amsterdam…

Amsterdam was an amazing city and there were so many new things to experience. Adam was high just on adrenaline and dragged Tommy off to explore the sights and sounds of this permissive and seductive culture.

After coffee and brownies in a café, Adam swapped a generous amount of currency for an equally generous amount of weed and they hightailed their way back to the bus. It was like the entire band’s alter egos had been set free – even Neil was giggling in a corner with Brooke and Sasha like a group of three year olds.

The concert was a mass of contradiction in Tommy’s memory; parts were in crystal clear focus, moment by moment; sharp, in high definition – Adam’s hands running lower over Tommy’s body as he pressed up against him, dipping below the line of his bass to cup his groin and rub the persistent hard-on Tommy had been sporting since the first bars of Voodoo! Kisses; lots and lots of kisses were seared into his memory, especially from the encore…how he played on… _fuck that was so hot bending back as Adam’s tongue plundered his mouth to kiss him into oblivion…_

Adam tasted of weed and smoky bourbon and that unique flavour that was _just Adam…_ the low growled “ _I wanna fuck you so hard my Glitterbaby…”_ as they parted had Tommy almost shooting in his pants…

Less clear was the rest of the concert where he wasn’t directly interacting with Adam, such was his focus on the man, although he had hazy recollections of Adam wearing a black feather boa thrown from the audience and blowing smoke into Monte’s face. Inhibitions apparently went out of the window with the heady mix of alcohol, shared joints and Adam singing to him in that _pure sex voice_ of his, breath hot against Tommy’s neck with the heat of his body pressed up close…who cared that their overt sexual seduction was taking place on stage under the delighted eyes of thousands of fans…

After _that mind-fucking-blowing kiss_ Tommy played on autopilot, transfixed by Adam writhing and arching on the floor as he took Whole Lotta Love to a whole new level of raw sexual performance, his arousal so evident it was guaranteed to be all over Twitter the minute the audience left the arena.

As they tripped off stage after the electrifying encore, Adam slammed Tommy up against the wall and owned his mouth in a hard and dirty kiss, swallowing the hungry sounds of need that fell from Tommy’s lips as Adam pressed closer. Both were panting when they finally came up for air, feral want charging through drug and alcohol-laden veins.

“Hotel… _now!_ ” Adam tugged hard on Tommy’s hair, drawing a low moan as the pain-pleasure sensation shot straight to his already throbbing groin.

Stumbling in through the side door of the hotel they took the elevator up to Adam’s room, ripping at each other’s clothes as they fell through the door, mouths locked together…

A trail of jackets, t-shirts, shoes and socks led to Adam’s big bed as they tumbled onto the quilt, bare chested, hands groping at belts and buckles. Adam pulled back from Tommy’s deliciously pink and kiss swollen lips to gaze into lust-blown eyes. As Adam opened his mouth to speak, Tommy arched towards him, needy whimpers falling unbidden into the space between them.

Grinning briefly, Adam reclosed the gap and owned Tommy’s mouth once more, expert fingers popping buttons on both their trousers as Tommy tangled one hand in Adam’s hair and ran the other hungrily over his freckled back. Mouths still locked together, they squirmed and wriggled out of their trousers, kicking them off the side of the bed in a tangled heap.

Hands roamed freely over bare warm flesh, breath hitching as fingers dipped below the waistbands of underwear. As Adam’s fingers curled around him, Tommy’s synapses went into freefall, his body arching shamelessly into the touch.

Adam dragged his mouth away to breathe hot and throaty against Tommy’s ear “touch me Glitterbaby… _please…need to feel your hands on me_ …”

With sensation after blissful sensation rippling through every nerve ending, Tommy was incapable of any form of rational thought, acting purely on instinct as he slid his hand lower. Adam felt hot and heavy, yet smooth and silky as he tightened his grip and began moving slowly.

Adam’s grunts of satisfaction were lost as their lips met in a wild and messy kiss, teeth nipping plump wet flesh and both were panting hard as they raced towards the precipice to explode in a shuddering mass of pleasure within moments of each other. Bathed in the delicious warmth of the afterglow, Tommy felt completely sated and boneless, his lips tingling from the heat of Adam’s kisses and he was barely aware of the soft washcloth that cleaned him up with the gentlest of touches. He curled into the warmth of Adam’s body, naked skin to naked skin, and they fell asleep wrapped around each other.

Adam woke in the early hours to a pounding headache and a mouth that felt like the bottom of a birdcage, but with a huge smile on his face as he relished the feel of Tommy in his arms, his nose buried in Tommy’s hair, naked flesh to naked flesh…

 _Naked…fuck…what..?_ As his head replayed their encounter, Adam’s heart skipped numerous beats, emotions veering between horror and delight. _What the fuck did I do? To…the man I’m in love with…the **straight**_ _man I’m in love with…_ Tommy was beautiful, liberal and embraced everything rock n roll _but_ … Adam’s blood ran cold at the horrifying thought of not having Tommy in his life because he…Adam, had over-stepped the mark and taken things too far…taken advantage of the weed and booze… _fuck!_

He closed his eyes and instinctively snuggled closer, inhaling that unique scent that was _Tommy Joe,_ as he allowed himself just a few more precious moments of the one thing he could never have…  Tommy mumbled softly in his sleep and draped his arm over Adam’s thigh, his hand resting warm and heavy on freckled skin.

After thirty minutes of agonising over the best course of action, Adam had decided to act as if he couldn’t remember anything after the concert, putting the memory lapse firmly in the hands of the excesses of weed and alcohol. Very reluctantly, he carefully extricated himself from Tommy’s hold, moving his pillow quickly into the space he’d vacated as Tommy’s hand groped vaguely at the air before curling around the pillow without him waking up.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Adam sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at the sleeping man; he was so beautiful, both inside and out, and way too precious to Adam to risk losing him over a drunken fumble…no! Tommy must never know how Adam really felt about him… He risked a soft kiss to Tommy’s forehead and stood up, his plan formulating as he glanced around the room.

After downing a bottle of water from the mini bar, he untangled their trousers and left Tommy’s by the side of the bed, taking his own over to the sofa where he draped them carelessly over the arm. Next he retrieved the rest of their abandoned clothing and dropped Tommy’s around the bed so it looked as if Tommy had shed the various garments during the night.

Finally he pulled on his t-shirt and a fresh pair of boxer briefs and dragged the extra blanket out of the wardrobe before laying down on the sofa and tucking the blanket around him. Closing his eyes, he replayed those stolen blissful moments of the night in slow motion in his head, over and over, until he drifted back into a restless sleep.

Tommy woke slowly, blearily opening one eye and then the other, blinking at the brightness of the day. Stretching luxuriously he suddenly realised he was alone…

…and in Adam’s bed…

Naked…

… _fuck! Naked in Adam’s bed…_ The concert, the encore and the night’s activities crashed and tumbled through his head in a tangled mass of images, some clear, some little more than blurry shadows. Elation and confusion clashed as the memory of Adam’s hands on him sent tired corpuscles scurrying southwards in excitement… _if his memory was accurate where the fuck was Adam now? Why was he alone in Adam’s bed?_

Wrapping the sheet around him, Tommy stood up and glanced around the room. His clothes were scattered as if he’d flung them off during the night; he didn’t remember that… _what the fuck?_ Looking further afield he could see Adam’s clothes draped over the sofa and on the floor and the body shaped bump under a blanket could only be his elusive… _elusive what? What were they now?_

Shuffling forward in his makeshift sari, Tommy stopped by the sofa and looked down at the man he adored with every atom of his being. Adam looked so young and beautiful, his freckled face relaxed in sleep. As Tommy gazed at him, Adam stirred and opened his eyes.

About to grin stupidly at the totally adorable sight of Tommy wrapped up in the bedsheet, he suddenly remembered he was supposed to be faking memory loss and severe after-effects of too much indulgence the night before. With remarkable self-control, he screwed his face up and groaned.

“Ugh! Turn the daylight down, Glitterbaby, it’s way too fucking bright! What the fuck was I doing last night? My head feels like it’s been used as a wrecking ball! Did we party with the band?” He groaned again and pulled the blanket up over his head to hide the grin that refused to be permanently squashed.

Tommy’s heart sank and his butterflies slouched into a miserable huddle in the pit of his stomach. If Adam didn’t remember their… _encounter…_ there was no way he’d be able to tell him what they’d done…it certainly wouldn’t slide into conversation over breakfast! He bit his lip hard to prevent the torrent of swear words that were threatening to escape and moved over to the window to close the curtains.

As the room darkened a little, Adam reappeared and patted the sofa next to him. After a momentary hesitation, Tommy joined him and sank into the embrace as Adam wrapped him into a hug and mumbled into his ear. “I hope we had a fun time partying because this headache and the shit-awful taste in my mouth had better have been worth it!” He pulled back to look into Tommy’s eyes “How’re _you_ feeling?” He dropped a kiss onto the end of Tommy’s nose.

Torn between telling all and wanting to preserve the relationship they had previously if that was all that was on offer, Tommy’s expression wavered before settling on a non-committal grimace.

“Head fucked!” he mumbled truthfully as he pressed back into Adam’s arms and snuggled closer.

Adam sighed heavily, knowing it would be construed as a sympathetic response, yet wishing he could somehow just tell Tommy what they’d done and how he felt… _I can’t risk losing him…_ Somehow, that sigh didn’t do justice to the depths of his feelings “yeah, me too…”

Instead, he tugged Tommy closer still and relished the opportunity to hold him a little longer.

After long minutes of silence as they both followed their own train of thoughts, Tommy lifted his head off Adam’s shoulder. “What do you remember?”

_Kissing you hard and you kissing me back, your hands raking over my skin like you really wanted me…touching you…loving you…falling asleep together…SHIT…I wish you hadn’t asked me that…_

“I remember the encore…kinda…I think we snogged a bit!” Adam shrugged “it’ll be all over twitter so I guess that’ll fill in those blanks! After that? Not much really, it’s all weed hazy and confusing…” he forced a crooked grin “I’m sure we had a fuckin’ wild time though!”

Tommy closed his eyes as the events from the previous night played out in his head once more, with added clarity and some extra details emerging from the shadows… As he recalled the tenderness Adam had shown as he’d cleaned them up he couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face “Whatever it was, Babyboy, I know we had a good time!”

“Yeah, you and me against the world, baby!” Adam pressed their lips together briefly before reluctantly releasing his hold. “I suppose we’d better get sorted…we gotta get back on the road again soon.” He stood up “I’ll hit the shower first if you call room service.”

After showering and sharing a light breakfast with copious amounts of black coffee they were both feeling a little more human. In the solitary privacy of the shower cubicle each had relived, and then locked away, their precious memories of the previous night, the bliss of release tempered with bittersweet regret… _if only I could tell him…_

A reunion with the rest of the band and dancers saw them climbing back onto the bus as they travelled onward towards Austria. Taylor had been collecting links and twitter posts of the concert and was gleefully passing around a YouTube video as they joined the throng in the lounge area.

“Oh right! Just what I wanted to see – more kissing! Don’t you ever stop?” Neil growled at his sibling as Adam peered over his shoulder to see what the others were laughing at.

“Actually I think it’s pretty hot…especially the bits in slow motion!” Cam winked at Tommy “You guys make a beautiful couple…a making-out beautiful couple! She sighed wistfully “just think of the gorgeous babies you’d have!”

Sutan hurried to drape an arm around Tommy’s neck as he bit on his lip and flushed pink. This was a bit too close to home for comfort. “Hell bitches, you’re just jealous!” he squeezed Tommy’s shoulder reassuringly “…and they _do_ look a perfect fit!” He sent a knowing look in Adam’s direction before dragging Tommy away on the pretext of discussing changes to his stage costume and make-up.

Adam watched them go, a puzzled expression on his face. Sutan had always been protective of Tommy but this went way deeper… About to follow them, he was thwarted when Taylor pushed the phone into his hand with yet another fan video from the previous evening, this one playing out perfectly his fantasy of him and Tommy together with clips from all the shows set against the soundtrack of their song…you give me _Fever…_

Watching intently, Adam allowed himself to dream.

Tommy followed Sutan back to the sleeping quarters and flopped onto his bunk with a deep sigh as Sutan nudged him to move over and make room. Once they were both crammed into the tiny space Sutan stroked the hair gently from across Tommy’s face “what happened Vayvee?”

Tommy shrugged, attempting nonchalance before sighing once more “who says anything happened?”

Cupping Tommy’s cheeks firmly between his hands Sutan stared into his friend’s eyes “everything I’ve seen of you both since you got back on this bus tells me something happened… Now tell Raja all…”

His expression softened as Tommy’s face crumpled and his eyes filled with tears. “He doesn’t remember what we did…it’s like it never happened and now everything’s changed and I can’t tell him and I don’t know how to get it back to where it all was before…” Tommy buried his head into Sutan’s chest and allowed the tears to fall freely as his words ran into one another in a rapid mumbled monologue.

With one hand absently stroking Tommy’s hair, Sutan translated the tangled string of words. It was as he’d suspected, but far from not remembering, Sutan could see Adam knew _exactly_ what he’d been doing and was hiding from it in case he lost his best friend… He took a breath in; these two were going to be much harder work than he’d ever imagined.

Tipping Tommy’s chin up, he tugged out a corner of the sheet and dried Tommy’s tears. “Nothing’s changed Vayvee, you still want him…”

Although he knew it was a rhetorical question, Tommy nodded determinedly.

Sutan grinned and wrapped him back into a hug “then we carry on as before and I really _did_ want to talk to you about your clothes and make-up. We’re going to go more natural and emphasise your beautiful features – still glitter of course…you’ll love it! Better still, _Adam’ll love it!_ ” Squeezing him briefly, Sutan gave Tommy a gentle shove. “Time to get back to the party; so shift that cute arse and get your smile on! Your man awaits…”

Rejoining the others in the lounge area, Die Hard 2 was playing on the DVD, the enticing aroma of freshly brewed coffee hung in the air and people were slumped into chairs and on sofas. Cam had fallen asleep, her head lolling on Brooke’s shoulder. Adam was stretched out in one of the armchairs, his attention focused on his phone until Sutan kicked at his foot as they passed and gave him yet another stern stare.

Sitting up hurriedly, Adam shoved his phone away and was ready when Tommy approached with two mugs of coffee, taking the mugs carefully and putting them on the unit behind them, before tugging Tommy onto his lap and pulling him in close. “Are we okay?” his warm breath ghosting behind Tommy’s ear sending a shiver of desire racing through his veins.

Curled into Adam’s chest, Tommy nodded.

“Good, because I couldn’t bear it if I upset you…”

 _You didn’t upset me, you ripped my heart out and stomped on it – that goes way beyond fucking upset…_ Tommy bit back the response screaming around the inside of his skull, instead, lifting his head to smile sweetly as he laced their hands together. “We’re good…we’re alwa… the rest lost as Adam slid his other hand around Tommy’s neck and owned his mouth, their tongues tangling as the kiss deepened.

When they came up for air, Neil was frowning, Sutan was nodding approvingly and their coffee had gone cold. Oblivious to anyone else, they headed off to Adam’s bedroom to cuddle up and catch up on some sleep.

Austria, Switzerland and Italy were sell out shows with amazing fans and seriously good chocolate! After playing their hearts out, they headed across the channel to Great Britain and the final four shows of the European leg of the tour.

Sutan had excelled himself with Tommy’s new make-up, the blues and greys emphasising the depth of colour in his eyes, carefully enhanced with brown kohl eyeliner and a glossy pink tint to his lips making them even more kissable. Tommy’s hair had been freshly cut and one side shaved close to leave a soft downy feel that Adam just _had to_ stroke under his fingers whenever he was near enough to touch, on _and_ off the stage.

Birmingham and Manchester were followed by an overnight bus ride up to Glasgow for another sell out crowd as they took Scotland by storm and it was a tired but euphoric group who bundled back onto the bus for the journey southwards to the last show in London.

The band were discussing Adam’s suggestion to stop over in London for a couple of days once they’d performed, to celebrate the end of the European dates. His offer of taking everyone to a show in the West End had them all chattering excitedly about the different possibilities and Adam had left them to decide which one to see, taking himself off to his room and a shower as they got ever louder and more excitable.

Finally, with both ‘We Will rock You’ and ‘The Lion King’ tied on votes, Tommy was dispatched to get Adam’s casting vote. Barely pausing to tap as he entered Adam’s room, his mouth dropped open at the sight in front of him. Adam was working his hand furiously inside his trousers as he gasped and groaned into the phone on the pillow beside his head. The accent on speaker at the other end of the line was equally breathless, but unmistakably belonged to Sauli…

Adam’s horrified expression mixed with the moment of pleasurable release was the last thing Tommy saw as he mumbled his apologies and backed away, cramming his knuckles into his mouth to bite down hard enough to drive the tears away. As Adam called him from behind the door, Tommy fled, hoping his face didn’t show his feelings as he rejoined the others.

“Well?” numerous voices demanded as he returned.

Tommy shrugged “he’s on the phone…” he dropped into the armchair and began picking at his nails as the debate continued around him, both sides attempting to convince the other to switch loyalties. When Neil decided that any further words were a waste and launched himself at Cam, tickling her mercilessly, even Tommy was forced to smile as he tucked his legs up under him and safely out of the way of Neil’s devilish fingers.

Sutan was about to perch on the arm of Tommy’s chair when Adam reappeared, his face flushed and his hair looking like he’d dragged his fingers through it in a hurried attempt to smooth it down. Sutan took several steps back as Adam claimed the space he’d just vacated and tentatively rested his hand on Tommy’s shoulder.

“I…er..I…what you just…I mean…” Adam leant in awkwardly to speak into Tommy’s ear.

Feigning nonchalance, Tommy shrugged “…your bedroom, dude, ‘m sorry I barged in. I’ll knock louder next time.” He forced a smile “we just wanted a casting vote – We Will Rock You or Lion King…” Waving a hand at the pile of squirming bodies on the floor in front of them he added “but Neil’s trying to convince some of them to change their minds so you might not be needed after all! You should get back to your call…”

“Glitterbaby…I’m…”

“I need coffee! You want one?” Tommy stood up abruptly and headed for the coffee pot without waiting for a response, blinking furiously as his eyes filled with what felt suspiciously like tears. No way he was going to cry, he was too fucking pissed off for tears!

Adam edged carefully around the mass of arms and legs on the floor and joined Tommy on the other side of the room. “Yes, please!”

“Huh?”

“Coffee…yes, please!”

“Yeah, right…’course!” Tommy poured a second mug and held it out, steadfastly refusing to meet Adam’s eyes until the other man wrapped his own hand around Tommy’s holding the mug and squeezed hard.

“I’m sorry!” Adam held on tighter as Tommy attempted to wriggle his fingers free.

“Fucker!”

 “I’m really, truly sorry…he called…I get…y’know… _lonely_ …and well, he…er…happened to call…” Adam gasped as Tommy shoved him roughly in the chest “What the fuck? I’ve said I’m sorry! What was th…”

“It’s burning my fucking fingers, arsehole!” Tommy punched Adam’s arm as scalding coffee slopped over them both. “If you want me to play tomorrow you need to let the fuck go **_now_**!”

“Oh!” Adam released his hand and dumped the offending mug on the side before following in Tommy’s wake as he took off towards the kitchen area to run his fingers under the cold tap.

Glancing around briefly when Adam joined him, Tommy concentrated back on his injured fingers. He bit his lip as Adam pressed in close and wound his arms around Tommy’s waist, resting his cheek against Tommy’s back.

“I’m sorry…fuck, seem to be saying that a lot tonight! But really, I am…not just for burning your hand but for…y’know… _earlier_ …”

Grimacing, Tommy attempted a light tone “hey dude, it’s your room, your pants and your…er, call…you do whatever you need to do!”

The arms around his waist tightened and he barely heard the words “thank you, baby…I just wish…” before they were joined by Neil, Cam and Monte; Neil with a triumphant expression on his face.

Tommy grinned at them “looks like it’s We Will Rock You then!” He felt, rather than heard Adam’s wistful sigh.  

Unable to face spending the night in Adam’s bed; the same bed he’d jacked off on, Tommy curled up on the sofa under a blanket once everyone else had turned in and flicked through umpteen TV channels before deciding that nothing was going to hold his attention and thumbed the standby button. He was trawling through his phone’s music library when Sutan dropped down beside him.

“Vayvee?” There was no doubting the question, despite the lack of words.

“He was _talking_ to Sauli when I went in…” he paused “it was a very _intimate_ conversation…”

“The bitch!”

Tommy wasn’t quite sure who Sutan was referring to, but agreed heartily anyway. He leant into the warmth of Sutan’s body “It’s hopeless…I’ve already lost him…”  

“You haven’t lost yet – _you’re here…_ that blond twink is on the other side of the world! That gives you an advantage, but you _have to make it clear to him that you want him…_ ” He stroked Tommy’s cheek softly “you could still just tell him… _you almost told him…_ ”

“That was then…that was before we…and before _he…he was…with…with him…_ ” his voice cracked “I just _can’t…_ ”

“It’s okay, Vayvee…now think back to Munich. What did you do that got him so worked up? You said he dragged you back to his dressing room and it was getting steamy until you were interrupted by Neil…”

“I held onto him in Fever and looked him in the eye…oh and you kept me out of his way until we went on stage…”

“Then that’s what we do again. After soundcheck tomorrow, you and I are going out together and I’ll introduce you to a few people…they’ll flirt their arses off with you! Then we can keep Adam busy until showtime and you can blow his…” They looked at each other and burst out laughing “…mind! Blow his mind! You filthy wench!” Ruffling Tommy’s hair fondly, Sutan stood up “Now, I need my beauty sleep…”

“Love you, boo!” Tommy settled back down under the blanket and plugged his earphones in, grinning to himself as the first track selected by the random shuffle was Fever. He closed his eyes as the bus rumbled onwards.

London was cold and grey and less than inspiring as they trooped off the bus and into the venue. Lane had arranged breakfast in the restaurant area and spirits lifted as they took in the array of dishes on offer. They lingered as the morning drew on until Neil herded them back to grab their gear for soundcheck. 

Adam was extra sweet and charming, not just towards Tommy, but making sure he praised everyone’s efforts, be it Isaac’s drumming or the sound engineer’s quick responses to Adam’s hand signals as they played their way through three regular tour tunes and Purple Haze.

Satisfied the sound was now set, they trooped back to the bus. Lane had been busy in their absence, arranging the West End show tickets and hotel rooms and shifting flights back two days. Grinning happily, Adam pressed a grateful kiss to her cheek and skipped off to his room to change.

As soon as he was out of sight, Tommy and Sutan grabbed their coats and made themselves scarce, sprinting away from the bus towards the nearest tube station. Both were giggling like schoolgirls as they boarded the next tube train, imagining Adam’s face when he found they’d gone.

As Tommy and Sutan were dropping into seats on the train, Adam was planning the places he wanted to take Tommy…and anyone else who wanted to come of course…but, spending time with his pretty kitty was his main agenda…

Hurt and disappointment punched him in the gut when he realised they’d gone. _Fuck!_

Half an hour later everyone else had departed too; even Monte had gone off to meet a friend in the recording business. Adam was left alone.

Frustrated beyond reason, he threw himself onto his bed and lamented his lost opportunity. If only Tommy hadn’t seen him with his hand down his pants… He sighed and reached for his phone, his finger hovering over the last call received…Tommy wasn’t here right now but…  He pressed call.

“Hi baby…”

“Adam? How’s the tour going? You missing me? How’s that gorgeous bass player of yours?”

“Tour’s great! Tommy’s great! And I always miss you!” Adam settled back for a long catch up, secure in the knowledge he could talk to Brad about anything…

Tommy had a full on fun time with Sutan and his friends from the drag circuit, even allowing himself to be dressed up as cousin Kiki once more, complete with designer frock and heels and parading the runway of the nightclub they were in as Sutan captured it all on his phone.

By the time they were heading back to the bus, Tommy felt he could take on the world… so tonight would be the night he finally told Adam he wanted him…

There was no need to hide from Adam when they returned as Lane had him tied up in interviews, so they were able to relax and catch up with everyone else, passing Tommy’s drag debut around over coffee and sandwiches before the group scattered to get ready.

As soon as he was dressed and Sutan had touched up his make-up, Tommy and Isaac headed across to the venue as they’d done in Munich. They spent a pleasant time chatting to some fans who shared a bag of Jelly Babies with them as they signed autographs and took photos. Finally making it inside, they sat with the sound crew and pretended to be busy when anyone walked past!

In his dressing room Adam was bitching about his day as Sutan did his make-up, lamenting the fact that Tommy hadn’t wanted to spend time with him and how he’d somehow managed to fuck up their very special friendship. When Sutan raised an expressive eyebrow at him, Adam realised his drunken fumble secret wasn’t as secret as he’d thought!

Pondering just how much Sutan actually knew, Adam kept quiet, knowing from experience that a pissed off Sutan was a frightening thing close up and no way did he fancy his chances of escaping with his balls intact! Instead, he wondered where Tommy was and what he was doing…

When they hit the stage and the first bars of Voodoo played, the crowd went wild as Adam strode his way over to Tommy, one hand reaching down over his shoulder to splay possessively over his bass player’s chest. Tommy pressed back into the warmth of Adam’s body, sending delicious friction to the growing bulge in his trousers as he sashayed with the movement of Adam’s hips. Dropping the microphone away from his mouth for a moment, Adam nipped at Tommy’s ear and growled a low “ _you’re mine_ ” before moving away to continue the routine choreography.

Tommy didn’t chase him as he’d expected, instead sending smouldering looks across the stage, his eyes fixed on Adam as he sang his way through the setlist until the unmistakeable first notes of Fever…

As Adam approached centre stage, Tommy turned to meet him head on, gazing deep into his eyes as he mouthed “ _yours_ ”. Adam’s eyes widened as he grabbed Tommy’s throat, a smile lighting Tommy’s face before he surged forwards to claim Adam’s lips, the kiss stealing a line of the song as the audience screamed enthusiastic approval.

Pulling away, Adam was breathless, needing all his professional skills as a singer to prevent him from cracking the notes, his body on autopilot for the moves with his dancers. As the implications of Tommy’s bold kiss sank in, Adam couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face, cheekily adding impromptu suggestive hand gestures to his dance steps as the song drew towards its climax.

Leaping lightly up the stage stairs for the final notes, he felt Tommy’s eyes on him once more, his trousers tightening at the love and heat that blazed from them… _yoursyoursyours_ echoed around his head and for the first time ever, he couldn’t wait for the performance to be over.

In the meantime, he watched Tommy head banging to the beat and skipping around the stage, their eyes meeting frequently as they exchanged smiles and playful banter, oblivious to everyone else. As they trooped off at the end of _If I had you_ , Adam pressed Tommy into the wall and owned his mouth, hands raking over each other’s bodies as their kiss grew progressively hotter.

Both were gasping as they were dragged back onto the stage for the encore; Twentieth Century Boy... Adam threw himself into it with gusto, claiming Tommy’s throat and playfully tongue tangling with him to the delight of the audience. Tommy’s grin said it all and he and Monte rocked it on out before Adam closed the set with some spectacular riffs and a final note that curled Tommy’s toes.

On an adrenaline high, the band piled into Adam’s dressing room, chattering loudly until Neil shooed them out ten minutes later to meet the fans and sign autographs. They lingered far longer than usual, not leaving until everyone who’d wanted a signature or a picture had gone away happy, finally climbing back onto the bus just after midnight for the short drive to the hotel.

Lane had excelled herself once more, arranging a late feast of Chinese, Thai and Indonesian dishes to be served in Adam’s suite. After congratulating them all, she kissed Adam on the cheek and took herself off to bed, leaving them to party.

It was after three when Isaac helped a rather unsteady-on-her-feet Cam out of the door, finally leaving Tommy and Adam alone. Deliciously light headed and tipsy, Tommy grinned at Adam “Just us! You…me… _yours!_ ” He giggled as he flung his arms out and spun around “you like? _’m all yours babyboy…you just have to unwrap me!_ ” He backed up to the bed and bounced back onto it, arching his body invitingly.

Adam froze, the memories from Amsterdam rattling at top speed through his brain. This was wrong…Tommy was too special for him to take advantage of his alcohol-induced flirtation. No way was he going to risk losing him…he wouldn’t repeat his mistake again…

Despite his body screaming _yesyesyes_ as Tommy offered himself with total abandon and desire shining in his beautiful brown eyes, Adam allowed himself only a hot fast kiss before pulling away and crawling down the bed to undo Tommy’s boots. Tugging them off, he made a show of yawning loudly.

“So tired, Glitterbaby…let’s get under these covers and grab us some sleep…” Swiftly undressing them both down to underwear and t-shirts and pulling the quilt over them, Adam avoided meeting Tommy’s eyes, afraid of seeing the puzzled rejection he could feel shimmering in the air between them. Instead he pressed a gentle kiss to Tommy’s neck, yawned hugely once more and snuggled in close. “Sleep, baby…”

Tommy’s breathing evened out as he drifted into slumber, leaving Adam wide awake and seriously doubting his sanity when he thought about what he’d just turned down… Holding Tommy tightly in his arms, it was a long time before Adam finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbc


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final shows of GNT...

With the pale morning sunlight came the fuzzy heads and soul searching. Tommy woke to find his limbs entwined with Adam’s and Adam gazing longingly at him like he was some precious treasure that was going to vanish if he blinked.

“Hey baby!” Adam nuzzled closer, pressing a gentle kiss to Tommy’s lips. “How’s my pretty kitty?”

Tommy grinned happily “ _your_ pretty kitty…” he snuggled closer still and stroked Adam’s cheek softly before claiming his lips for a tender kiss that built rapidly as desire reignited.

Ruing his poor choice of words, Adam’s resolve was crumbling and his head engaged in a running battle with his libido as Tommy’s hands ran down his back under his t-shirt, warm and tantalising… A knock at the door followed by an apologetic Lane calling his name, had him almost crying with relief.

Sliding out of bed, he dragged on a towelling robe and opened the door, running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to smooth it down.

Lane smiled as she took in the two sets of scattered clothing and nodded towards the bedroom. “Sorry to ruin your fun…” She followed Adam through to the sofa area and sat down, waving him to do likewise. “I’ve just had a call from _Rock World_ – as you know, it’s the biggest Rock magazine in Europe and they want to do an article on your tour, multiple pages with pictures and a competition…”

“Awesome!”

“… _today_!” She leant forward and patted his arm “…in an hour, in fact. It’s only because the night duty Manager downstairs rang his cousin, who’s their photographer, to tell him you were here, so everything’s been scrambled together for today… The car’ll pick us up in forty minutes.”

She glanced around as Tommy shuffled into the room looking adorable in a matching white towelling robe that engulfed him and made Adam want to sweep him off his feet and carry him back to the bedroom. “Morning Tommy!”

Tommy blushed and nodded before joining Adam on the sofa. “I ordered coffee and croissants…” he smiled uncertainly “for three…”

“Thank you, Tommy, but I’m not stopping. I’ll let Adam fill you in on the arrangements but I’m afraid the tourist stuff’s off the agenda for him, although dinner and the show tonight are still okay.”

Adam draped an arm around Tommy’s neck and rested his head against Tommy’s. “I have an unexpected big interview with Rock World…”

Tommy’s eyes widened “dude, that’s only the biggest outfit in Europe! Lisa Waugh is totally awesome! She does killer interviews… ” He ginned at Adam’s surprised face “so? I know my Rock!”

Lane laughed “do I take it that you’d like to go with him?”

Tommy’s hair whipped across Adam’s face as Tommy bounced on the sofa, names and dates of key articles and interviews spilling excitedly from his lips.

“I’ll take that as a yes!” She smiled at Tommy’s shining eyes. “I’ll leave you two to it then.” She stood as there was a knock at the door and a call announcing room service. “See you downstairs in half an hour…”

After a swift breakfast and a couple of hurried showers, they were heading down to the lobby, both clad casually in jeans, t-shirts and leather jackets. They posed happily for pictures with the excited fans sharing their elevator before joining Lane out by the car she’d arranged and climbing in after her.

 On the drive to the shoot, Tommy chattered enthusiastically about the magazine and the iconic artists and groups who’d featured in their pages over the years. Adam wrapped one arm around Tommy’s shoulders and fell a little deeper in love as Tommy radiated happiness.

Lane watched the pair of them cuddled up close, fingers entwined, and wondered just when they would both figure out that each wanted the other with equal ferocity…

Arriving at the magazine, they were met by Aaron Groves and Lisa Waugh who shook their hands warmly and led them through to a comfortable lounge-style room where they had coffee and ran through the planned itinerary.

First Aaron took a series of photographs of Adam and Tommy, shots of them both together and alone. Then Adam was settled on the sofa as Lisa prepared for the interview in front of the camera. Glancing at Tommy who was now watching from the side of the room, Lisa leant across to speak softly to Adam who grinned and nodded. Lisa laughed delightedly and began talking at top speed to her producer as Adam filled Tommy and Lane in on the amended plan.

Finally, with Tommy tuning his borrowed guitar in the green room and their choice of tracks made, Adam’s interview got underway.

“So, Adam, firstly thank you for making the time to squeeze us into your schedule – I know you’ve given up a rest day to do this for us…”

Adam chuckled and winked at her “I’m always a sucker for a pretty girl!”

Laughing delightedly, Lisa reached out and tapped him on the knee “oh don’t worry, we’ll get to all that later! Now, I want to start back before you auditioned for Idol…”

With the ice well and truly broken, Adam relaxed into the interview, talking candidly about his background in musical theatre and his decision to take a risk and try out for American Idol.

Tommy and Lane watched him from the side of the room, Tommy’s heart melting as Adam talked about his love and appreciation for his army of loyal fans “…I love my Glamberts, they’re so fierce and passionate…and they’ve stuck with me from Idol, through the post-Idol era and they’ve really made this tour and the album a success…”

Lisa leant forward, a determined gleam in her eye and Tommy couldn’t help the tiny gasp that fell from his lips – he recognised that look from watching so many of her previous interviews…she was going in for the scoop she really wanted…

It seemed Adam had caught on too as he sat up and glanced around, smiling disarmingly “why don’t I sing you something seeing as how you’ve so kindly allowed me to bring my gorgeous guitarist with me…”

Laughing at his smart diversion tactics, Lisa nodded and relaxed back into her chair.

Tommy grabbed the guitar and moved to just beside the sofa, perching lightly on the arm. Softly counting them in with a tap of his fingers, he played the opening bars of Mad World and Adam’s pure perfect voice filled the room with emotion.

As the song ended there was a smattering of spontaneous applause from the crew and Lisa looked genuinely moved. Tommy stood up and moved back to his spot next to Lane.

“That was beautiful, Adam, and actually leads me right on to the next thing I want to talk about…the AMA performance…tell me about that…”

Adam grinned “what would you like to know?” his eyes flicked towards Tommy and his smile softened.

“Did you plan to kiss your keyboard player?” The innocently phrased question held the promise of hidden landmines!

His chuckle warm and open, Adam shook his head “nope, usually I just pulled his hair! Y’know, it’s all just rock n roll!” He shrugged slightly “I was so caught up in the song and the whole _feel_ of the occasion…and the lyrics actually fitted a kiss way better than any amount of hair pulling! It was a spur-of-the-moment thing…” He smiled wryly “although that wasn’t how the world seemed to take it…I seem to recall a certain amount of…”

“…objectionable outrage?” Lisa’s eyes sparkled with triumph “I think the headlines were screaming disgust at an unnecessary and inappropriate display of gay propaganda…”

“Not gay!” Adam stated flatly.

“But _you are gay_ – I remember…and who wouldn’t!” she arched an elegant eyebrow “…that issue of Rolling Stone _?_ ”

“Oh yeah, **_I_ am** , but Tommy’s not! Tommy’s a straight dude who like…really gets his feminine side and we just _click_ …he just totally gets me and I love him completely… He’s my best friend.” Standing, Adam blew a kiss towards him, Tommy’s cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink as the camera swung around to focus on his face before returning back to the main event.

As Lisa continued to throw questions at Adam, moving on from the AMA performance to the media frenzy that followed and how frustrating it must have been to have the attention on his behaviour rather than his music…

Tommy let Adam’s words roll through his head on a slow replay, his heart sinking as he processed the fact that Adam still saw him as straight and unavailable _why can’t I just charge over and grab him, kiss him to infinity and back and show the world he’s my only exception…because I’m a fucking coward and I can’t risk losing him if he says no…I need him in my life…hell he **is** my life…_

Tommy jumped as Lane nudged him from his deep life musing “Huh?”

“Time for the next song…” she frowned, a worried look on her face “are you okay?”

Grabbing the guitar, he flashed a half-smile “’m fine…” as he walked across to rejoin Adam for the highly appropriate _Whataya want from me…_

Tommy lost himself to the music, pouring his love into every note as Adam’s voice owned his soul and there was a stunned silence when they’d finished.

“Wow! That has to be the most beautiful version of that song I’ve ever heard…” Lisa reached out a hand as Tommy stood up “that was amazing Tommy, I can feel that connection you have with Adam and it just radiates when you play together…”

“He’s crazy talented…” Adam winked at him.

Blushing, Tommy grinned and scurried back to Lane.

Lisa continued to follow the turns of Adam’s career, innocently phrased questions teasing out the details as no other interviewer had done before, but Adam seemed content to answer everything she threw at him, giving his replies with that grace and candour that had endeared him to millions the world over…Tommy watched and fell even deeper under his spell...

They concluded the interview with an acoustic performance of _Aftermath_ and then both signed copies of photos, Adam’s album and the guitar that Tommy had played, as prizes for the competition before being hugged tightly by a beaming Lisa as they headed back out to their car.

Lane watched Tommy on the return journey as he leant into Adam, noting that his earlier sparkle had all but gone although he was doing his best to hide it. Sometimes she just wanted to bang their heads together…

On arrival back at the hotel, Lane left them in the lobby, what was left of the afternoon now theirs until the mass meet up for the trip to the theatre and dinner.

“You hungry?” Adam rubbed his stomach, eying Tommy hopefully. “Wanna grab some lunch?”

“Dude, I could eat a horse!” Tommy’s tummy rumbled to illustrate his point.

Laughing, Adam grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the elevator. “We’ll get room service – all of those unhealthy things you like!”

“No kale today then?”

“No kale! After that killer interview we deserve some junk food!” He tugged Tommy into his arms as they kicked the suite door closed behind them “your playing was awesome, Glitterbaby…I think we actually rocked her world!” He tipped Tommy’s chin up with his thumb before pressing their lips together softly “thank you…”

“What for?” Tommy’s voice was hushed, his heart pounding. _This was it…that moment…_

“For being you…for loving and supporting me…” He gazed into Tommy’s eyes “I meant every word of what I told her…”

“When you said I…” he didn’t get to finish as Adam pulled him closer and kissed him hard, owning his mouth and sending his butterflies into full aerial display mode. As his knees buckled, Tommy fisted his hands into Adam’s t-shirt and lost himself to the wonders of Adam’s lips and tongue.

Breathless and trembling, they came up for air, lips just a breath apart as hands snaked under clothing. “What you do to me, Tommy Joe…if you weren’t…”

“Adam, I’m…” they both spoke at once, low intense whispers as if anything louder would shatter the moment.

“You first…” Adam kissed him lightly and cupped Tommy’s face between his hands.

_Tell him…tell him now…_ “You know when you said…um, when you told her that I…” _fuck! Just fucking say it…I’m not completely straight…I love you…I want you…_ In his head, Tommy saw Adam’s puzzled response, the realisation that Tommy had been leading him on and the disappointment that he’d not shared his feelings…that he’d let Adam down…allowed Adam to declare to the world that Tommy was straight – on more than one occasion…he’d left Adam open to criticism…to accusations of turning his bass player gay… _fuckfuckfuck…I can’t…_

“You can tell me anything…you know I love you whatever you say…”

“ _You love me?_ ”

“Of course I love you! You’re my best friend in the world and I’d do anything for you…now _spill it Tommy Joe!_ ” Adam grinned “or do I have to tickle it out of you?”

“I…”

The phone sounded loudly in the room, the old fashioned bell strangely incongruous with the modern décor. “Hold that thought, baby!” Adam chuckled and strode over to sweep the handset off the base.

“Why aren’t you answering your phones?” Neil’s voice was loud enough to carry over to where Tommy was cursing himself in every language he’d ever heard.

“What?”

Neil sighed heavily “I’ve been ringing you and Tommy for the past half hour! I know you’re back because I spoke to Lane…” he paused and Adam could almost see the furrow deepen in his brother’s forehead. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing! We were about to order room service for some late lunch…” Adam tugged his phone out of his pocket and adjusted the volume. “Phone’s off silent now. What did you want?”

“Oh! Right! Sutan’s managed to get us a pod on the London Eye…you said you’d always wanted to go on it… You need to get your arses down here now or you’ll miss it! Now get off this phone and get moving!” Neil huffed impatiently and hung up.

Adam chuckled and dropped the handset back on the base. “Fancy a twirl on the London Eye? Sutan’s managed to wangle us a pod, only we have to go now! We can pick up a take out on the way?”

Knowing that Adam really wanted to see the sights of London spread out from the lofty heights of the Eye, Tommy forced a grin and a nod, pulling his own phone out from his pocket to see seven missed calls and two messages from Adam’s brother. He shook his head as he listened to the messages, grinning at the obvious frustration in Neil’s voice. Deleting them he took Adam’s offered hand and allowed himself to be folded into a tight hug.

“Love you, Tommy Joe…” Adam closed his eyes and imagined just for one fleeting moment that this wasn’t a declaration of friendship but a promise of togetherness…

“Love you too, babyboy…” Tommy’s sulking butterflies kicked at his insides bitterly, this should be so much more than it was…

Kissing him briefly, Adam led them to the door and ten minutes later they were being hugged enthusiastically by the rest of the gang before taking their place in the waiting area to board their pod.

The views were magnificent Tommy had to admit, even though he clung on tightly to Adam’s hand as heights most definitely weren’t his favourite thing! The rest of the afternoon disappeared and it seemed like moments until they were filing into their seats at the theatre to thoroughly enjoy the show and sing along to their favourite Queen songs. From there they headed to the restaurant for a meal and much laughter. Adam kept Tommy close, frequent soft brushes of his lips and whispered endearments managing to keep alive the dream that one day they’d be together.

The following day started early with packing and heading to the airport. The journey back to LA was long and tiring and it was almost twenty four hours later that they tumbled into Adam’s bed and fell into an exhausted sleep.

It was strange to be back home and Tommy missed the constant movement, almost pining for the noise and cramped conditions of their tour bus as the silence in his apartment seemed deafening. After spending the first night at Adam’s he’d come home and retreated into his shell, declining the numerous invitations from all sorts of people as he attempted to adjust.

He missed Adam; the luxury of having him so close for so long now leaving a gaping hole in his life that gnawed away at his insides like a physical pain. They spoke on the phone almost daily and there were rehearsals for the final two shows, but it was different somehow. There was a void between them that hadn’t been there before…

The day of the concert at the Music Box dawned with Tommy having had one of the worst bouts of his insomnia since before he’d met Adam. In the dressing room Sutan took one look at the black circles under his eyes and the obvious fact that he’d lost weight and folded him into a tight hug before scolding him for not returning his calls.

“What’ve you done to yourself Vayvee? You should’ve called… _I should’ve insisted and not left you…_ ”

“’m fine…” Tommy mumbled into Sutan’s shoulder, even as the tears ran down his face to soak into the soft fabric of his friend’s t-shirt. He clung tighter and breathed in the familiar and comforting scent as Sutan rubbed his back in tiny circles.

Pushing Tommy away so he could take a closer look, Sutan tutted as the full extent of the neglect became clear. “Oh honey, look at you…” Cupping Tommy’s face in his hands, Sutan brushed Tommy’s tears away with his thumbs “let’s make you beautiful again for your man?” A raised eyebrow asked the question; a teary nod and bitten lip the response…

“The Dandy boy ruffle shirt and black pants…hmmm…” Sutan rummaged in his box and pulled out his clippers. “Right, hair first then we’ll sort the rest of you…” He pressed a soft kiss to Tommy’s mouth. “It’s going to be okay…”

Sutan finally stepped back to survey his work, nodding in a satisfied manner before spinning the chair in front of the mirror to show Tommy the result. Tommy stared at his reflection. His hair was soft and fluffy, the newly shaved side, left slightly longer than usual to retain that must-stroke-your-fingers-over-it quality, now sparkled with glitter and his eyes were outlined in smoky blues and greys giving the brown irises a liquid luminosity. His lips were left natural, a lightly tinted gloss adding to their fullness and making them even more irresistibly kissable…

“You are fucking gorgeous _darhling…_ now get that tiny arse out there and show him you want him!”

Tommy nodded and reached for Sutan to hug him hard, surprised when he was gently pushed away. “Go! Before you smudge my beautiful work!” Sutan blew him an air kiss and slapped his backside as he grinned and skipped towards the stage.

Moving along the corridor to Adam’s dressing room, Sutan marched in and took Adam’s phone from his hand. “He’ll call you back!” before cutting the connection and putting the phone down.

“What the..?” Adam reached for his phone, only to snatch his hand back when Sutan slapped it hard. “ ** _What the fuck?_** ”

“When did you last see Tommy?”

Adam frowned “the day after we got back…he went home…"

“He’s not been sleeping, and, by the looks of it, not eating either…”

“But…

“You should’ve checked on him!”

“I spoke to him on the phone…”

“Not good enough! He needs to see you…after all that time on the road together and then you just cut him off…” Sutan was angrier than Adam had ever seen him and Adam wondered again about the relationship between his two friends; Sutan was so fiercely protective of Tommy…like a lioness and her cub!

“Where is he?” Adam got up.

“Oh no you don’t!” Sutan pushed him back into the chair. “You need to get ready”

“But you said Tommy…”

“I’ve taken care of him…” Sutan’s stern expression relented as Adam looked at up him, anxiety written all over his face “he’s okay now, but remember he needs more than a phone call from now on…” his tone softened. “Tommy’s very special and you really need to talk to him…” he closed his lips firmly and would say no more, no matter how much Adam badgered him.

Finally, Adam was permitted to escape the chair once Sutan pronounced him ready and he practically flew from the room, pausing only to grab his phone and give Sutan a brief emphatic hug as he mumbled into his ear “Thanks Sutan…”

Tommy was talking to his sound engineer when Adam flung himself on him and held him tightly. “I’m sorry!”

“Huh?”

“Sorry I didn’t make sure you were okay…” Adam kissed Tommy’s neck, sending delicious shivers down his spine and he couldn’t help the tiny moan that escaped as his entire circulation charged southwards. The sound engineer grinned and left them to it. Neither noticed him leave.

“’m fine!” Tommy clung on and immersed himself in the delicious aroma that was _Adam…fuck he’d missed this…_

“And I’m the Queen of Sheba!” Adam pulled back and peered at Tommy’s face before kissing him gently. “You had me worried, Glitterbaby, and I got my arse well and truly spanked by Sutan for not looking after you properly! I promise not to neglect you again!” He smiled softly “you look gorgeous in that shirt…and your hair…” he stroked his fingers over the shorn locks, shedding glitter everywhere.

Tommy leant into the touch “It’s all for you babyboy…” he looked deep into Adam’s eyes praying that Adam would understand “ _always…all for you…”_

“Arses on stage **now**!” Neil strode into the wings, glaring. “Audience’s waiting! This show’s not going to play itself!”

Tommy wriggled out of Adam’s hold and joined the rest of the band on the stage, smoothing the strap of his bass lovingly over his shoulder as Adam swapped insults with his sibling.

Rolling his eyes, Neil planted his hands on his hips and pulled himself up to his full height in an attempt to match Adam’s lofty stance on his high heels. “The sooner you stop diva stropping and get out there, the sooner you can drape yourself over lover boy again…” he shook his head “…just get together already! _We_ all know you want him! Time you actually told _him_!”

Adam’s mouth dropped open, the cutting remark he’s been about to impart forgotten “but he’s straight!”

“Is he?” Neil winked and gave Adam a shove, sending him tottering out onto the stage. The band swung into the opening bars of Voodoo and the show was underway.

Adam made his way across to Tommy, singing to him low and sexy, their usual interactions drawing screams of delight from the capacity crowd. Grinning as he moved away to continue the song, Adam’s eyes turned repeatedly towards his bassist, replaying over and over what Neil had said… _not really sure how to feel about it…_

As the distinctive beat of Fever began to play, Adam moved back down the stairs. Tommy stepped up to meet him, flicking his hair and laying his head on Adam’s shoulder, the smile flirtatious and so drop-dead-gorgeous Adam almost forgot to sing! Catching himself just in time, he sang the line and licked into Tommy’s mouth as they kissed before dancing away for the rest of the routine.

The show was one of the best of the tour with the band on fire and the audience lapping up the electrifying atmosphere. Everyone’s spirits were sky high at being back home in the States, the mood euphoric and alive with banter as they moved around the stage. Adam and Tommy were totally in tune and the sexual chemistry sizzled between them, both Neil’s and Sutan’s words burning on repeat through Adam’s head as he sang... _something in the way you move…_

He had no time to talk to Tommy as they went out to sign for the fans and then straight into the after party Neil had arranged. By the time Adam had escaped the various people wanting to shake his hand and get a quote or short interview, Tommy had disappeared. Checking his phone, he opened Tommy’s message _Fucked out dude. Catcha at soundcheck. TJ_

Cursing at yet another lost opportunity, Adam struggled to maintain his own enthusiasm for the party and cried off long before the end, heading home to a lonely bed and a session with his right hand as he imagined Tommy with him…

Soundcheck at Club Nokia was a somewhat subdued affair with several of the band and crew nursing hangovers and others lost in their own thoughts. After a run through of Voodoo, Sure Fire Winners and Soaked, Adam was satisfied that the sound was set and dismissed everyone, telling them to get some sleep.

About to go after Tommy, who’d been worryingly quiet, Adam turned back as his name was shouted from the front of house. Grinning delightedly, Adam leapt off the stage and hugged his dad hard.

“Not bad, son, not bad!” Eber grinned and released him, tugging Neil into a hug as he appeared behind them.

“Neil, where’s Tommy?” Adam turned big pleading eyes towards his brother. “I want him to meet Dad…”

Neil raised an eyebrow but mercifully said nothing incriminating. “I’ll see if I can catch him…” he chuckled as he loped off, leaving Adam blushing under the intense stare from his father.

“Something you want to share, son?”

“Tommy’s…he’s…” Adam’s eyes sparkled as images of Tommy filled his head.

“Yeah, we get it, Adam, your mother and I want you to be happy, and from the looks of it, Tommy is…”

“He doesn’t know, dad! He’s straight…and he’s my best friend so I can’t risk…

“Found him!” Neil’s voice carried loudly from the stage, thoughtfully warning father and son that the object of their discussion was within earshot.

Adam beamed as Tommy followed Neil, looking slightly ill at ease. “Glitterbaby, this is my dad, Eber… Dad, this is Tommy Joe, the most amazing bass and guitar player ever!”

“Good to meet you, Tommy. So you’re the guy Adam kisses every night…”

Tommy’s face turned scarlet as he shook hands “I…er…”

“Dad! Don’t tease him!” Adam wrapped an arm around Tommy’s shoulders and squeezed reassuringly. “He’s teasing!” he whispered softly as Tommy melted against him.

Neil and Eber exchanged glances, silent messages confirming what everyone else knew, yet the two in front of them seemed oblivious to…

“You’ll join us for lunch?” Eber looked back to Tommy “Leila will be there too, so it’s a full family gathering…”

“I…er…” Tommy’s brain flailed desperately in an attempt to come up with something that made him sound less like a Neolithic man-child. His brain came up empty.

“Please?” Adam’s breath warm against Tommy’s ear sealed his fate and he nodded, wondering what he’d signed up for. 

They piled into Eber’s giant station wagon and headed out to meet Leila at the restaurant. Tommy clung on tightly to Adam’s hand, listening to Eber and Neil as they talked politics in the front seat, Neil glancing around every now and again to bait Adam on a particular point.

By the time they arrived at the parking lot Tommy’s nerves had eased a little, relaxing even more as Adam pointed towards the Hard Rock Café as their lunch venue. “I chose this hoping you’d come…”

“Love you, man!” Tommy’s declaration causing twin Lambert eyebrows to rise as Neil and Eber exchanged yet more silent messages. Catching the shared glances, Tommy bit his lip and huddled closer into Adam’s side.

“Love you too, baby!” Slipping his arm from around Tommy’s shoulders, Adam grabbed his hand instead and tugged him faster towards the entrance “c’mon, I want you to meet mom!” Waving aside the greeter, Adam headed for the stairs, his grip tightening on Tommy’s hand as they took them two at a time until they reached the top floor. “Mom!”  

Releasing Tommy’s hand, Adam flung himself onto an attractive dark haired woman whose welcoming smile was unmistakably _Adam_ – no doubting this was Leila, Adam’s beautiful mother whom he adored. After endless hugs and excited murmurs, Adam beckoned Tommy closer.

_Fuck! Time to unimpress another of Adam’s family members…_ Willing himself forward, Tommy took Adam’s outstretched hand. “Mom, this is Tommy Joe…”

“ _The_ Tommy?”

“Mom!” Adam grinned and nodded happily as Leila folded Tommy into a warm hug.

“So good to finally meet you Tommy…Adam talks about you non-stop! I feel like I already know you!”

Despite his nerves, Tommy hugged back and was talking enthusiastically about several of the guitars on the wall display by the time Eber and Neil joined them. Orders were taken – Adam ensuring that everything that Tommy loved best was included in their ‘to share platters’ – and drinks were procured, glasses clinked in a toast to _home and family…_

 Tommy had totally relaxed and was enjoying himself thoroughly, sharing soft looks and gentle touches with Adam and it was like nothing had changed…he felt content and loved; even if Adam never knew how much he loved him, _this_ could sustain him…

“So, Tommy, are you pleased to be back home again?” Leila turned a warm smile towards her son and his…his _friend_ …

“Yeah…I guess, but I miss the noise and chaos of the road” Tommy shrugged his shoulders minutely “it just takes me a while to readjust to change…” he grinned “my ex-girlfriend says I was a moody bastard for weeks when she moved the sofa once!”

“Girlfriend?” Leila leant forward almost imperceptibly, swapping a glance with her youngest son.

“ _Ex_ -girlfriend…long time ex now…” Tommy looked up, a faint pink tinge appearing on his cheeks as he caught some of the silent conversations. “…it was a long time ago! I’m not that bad now!” he added hurriedly, not wanting to appear strange to Adam’s family whom he genuinely liked.

Adam laughed and dragged Tommy’s chair closer to his own “yes you are! You hate transition of any kind unless it’s on a music score!” Cupping Tommy’s face, he pressed a tender kiss to his lips “but you’re _my_ pretty kitty and I wouldn’t have you any other way!”

“Oh, great, just what we needed; more kissing!” Neil’s tone was scathing, drawing smiles from his parents “they don’t ever stop!”

Grinning, Adam flipped his brother off before sliding his hand around the back of Tommy’s neck to pull him closer and own his mouth, swallowing the needy sounds as Tommy wound his hands into the fabric of Adam’s shirt and clung on tightly.

“Are they together?” Leila mouthed the question silently, looking at her ex-husband and youngest son who were both as amused as she was.

“They act like it, they should be, but neither thinks the other wants them…plus Adam’s convinced Tommy’s straight - it’s like dealing with teenagers!” Neil muttered as his parents grinned.

“I like him!” Eber chuckled as Leila nodded and Neil rolled his eyes before adding his own agreement.

“Then we encourage them to ‘find’ each other…” Leila signalled to their server for the dessert menu, Neil flapping his to the back of his brother’s head as Tommy sat back in his chair with glazed eyes and kiss swollen lips.

Dessert and coffee were accompanied by much laughter and gentle teasing and Tommy was sorry when he was dropped off at his car back at the venue, promising to catch up at the after party…

After a swift drive home and a quick text reply to both Sutan and Brad to confirm he was still alive and feeling pretty fucking awesome right now thank you very much! Tommy headed for his shower and a long leisurely replay of their night in Amsterdam, gasping his release as the steaming water cascaded down on him, before slumping down on boneless legs into a heap on the floor.

Wrapped in a towel he flopped onto his bed and took a nap, his head filled with images of Adam…

Backstage the atmosphere was electric, everyone high on adrenaline and buoyed by the love flowing in waves from both fans and the friends and family who were in the audience tonight.

Sutan beamed at Tommy’s happy face as he sat down to have his make up done, listening to his friend’s chatter about the good time spent with Adam and his family. Sutan nodded and agreed in all the right places, having already heard it all from Adam… _it’s almost like he knows now…it felt so right…_

The audience went wild when Adam appeared on stage and made his way over to Tommy, his hand splayed possessively over his bass player’s chest as they pressed together, moving their hips in time with the beat. Adam was tingling from the touch of Tommy’s finger as it traced his lips lightly before he danced away to complete the routine.

Fever was always a crowd favourite, the decibel level increasing tenfold as he kissed Tommy hard in the few seconds they had in between lyrics. Their eyes locked moments before their lips, passion blazing from both cobalt blue and deep brown pools…for just a nano-second nothing else existed, just them, right here, right now… _makes me feel like I can’t live without you…_

After a sexy, arching and writhing, mind-blowing rendition of Whole Lotta Love, they took their final leave of the stage. The Glam Nation Tour had come of age and would now live on via YouTube videos, the official DVD recording and live CD.

With the fan service signing done, the after party took off. Adam wove through the mass of friends and family, laughing and thoroughly enjoying the liberating feeling of a tour well done and an amazing sense of camaraderie with his band and all those he loved…thinking of those he loved… _and it takes me all the way…_

He found Tommy talking to Allison Iraheta over in a corner of the room and they were exchanging phone numbers as he joined them, Tommy blushing as Adam swept him into a hug before kissing him soundly. Releasing him, Adam tucked a now wobbly-kneed Tommy under his chin and wrapped his arms around him as he continued to chat to Allison. Closing his eyes, Tommy allowed himself to dream…

It was almost sunrise when they finally tumbled into Adam’s bed, happy and exhausted, curled up in each other’s arms and slept… _I want you to Stay…_

When Tommy woke, the sun was well up into the sky and the bed beside him was cold – Adam had been up for a while. He stretched luxuriously and reached for the tumbler of water and pain killers Adam had left for him, draining the glass thirstily before flopping back against the pillows.

Ten minutes later the pain killers had started their work and he pushed himself out of bed, shrugged into Adam’s towelling robe and padded down the hall, his bare feet silent. As he approached the kitchen he could hear Adam on the phone. It sounded like he was arranging flights and pick up times. Knowing Adam had some promotional gigs coming up, Tommy paid no further heed to what was said; Adam would tell him if he needed to know… Instead, he crept in and snaked his arms around Adam’s waist, pressing his cheek to bare freckled skin.

Adam jumped and pressed back against Tommy’s body. “Gotta go, I’ll email confirmation…” He paused, listening “yeah, looking forward to it too…” Cutting the call, he dropped his phone onto the counter top and turned in Tommy’s embrace, dipping his head to steal a kiss. “How’s your head?”

“Good!” Tommy snuggled closer. “I like your family” he mumbled into Adam’s chest.

“They liked you too…in fact mom says I have to bring you home to dinner next week…”

“Cool…” Tommy lifted his head and brushed their lips together “now is that coffee I smell?” he grinned as Adam swatted his backside before stepping across to the coffee machine to pour two mugs.

After a leisurely shower and late breakfast, Tommy headed home, promising Adam that he would take better care of himself and arranged to meet for coffee at the end of the week. Coffee, Tommy decided, would be the perfect time to finally _fucking finally_ come out and tell Adam how he felt…and oh yeah, pun totally intended!

In the meantime, he needed to catch up with Brad…

The week passed quickly, sleep, more sleep and a zillion other little things ate away the hours until it was Friday morning and Tommy was pulling t-shirt after t-shirt out of his closet in an attempt to find something to wear…something appropriate _fuck what the fuck is appropriate wear to tell someone you love them_? Tommy sighed loudly and continued to rifle through his clothes.

The front door banged shut and Mike stopped in the doorway to Tommy’s room, grinning at the mountain of discarded t-shirts, shirts and jeans on the floor. “Oh boy, you really have got it bad!” Laughing, Mike ignored the thunderous glare and lone finger gesture, his mouth curving into a fond smile as Tommy slumped defeated onto his bed. “You know I knew months ago, right?” he didn’t wait for an answer, moving to sit beside Tommy “and even if I didn’t; seeing you together on stage…those kisses… _all those kisses_ …that connection, that chemistry, _that_ can’t be faked…” he ruffled Tommy’s hair “the whole world knows you love him!”

Tommy let out a slow breath “then why the fuck doesn’t _he_?”

Mike said nothing, knowing it was a rhetorical question. Instead he held out a bag. “I saw this and thought of you on your big date.”

Wide eyed and almost shyly, Tommy took the bag and peered inside. “Oh, wow, this is awesome!” The t-shirt was in Tommy’s favourite black, faded and peeling-effect lettering proclaimed _Ain’t nothin’ but the Blues_ with a faded guitar and treble clef at an angle across the foot of the design. “Thanks dude, you’re the best bestie…”

“Yeah, yeah! Cupboard love!” Mike grinned again and stood up. “Well, I can’t hang around here all morning getting mushy, some of us have got work to do! You go get your man and you can spare me the sordid details later!” Moments later the door closed behind him.

Grinning happily, Tommy dragged the t-shirt over his head and surveyed his reflection. “You’ll do, Ratliffe…”

Arriving at his favourite coffee house, Tommy saw Adam was already there, looking edible in a leopard print vest top, sleeveless open black hoodie and his leather trousers, as he tapped away at his mini-laptop. For long moments, Tommy just stood and gazed at him, imprinting the image forever in his memory…just in case he said no _What if he says no? What if he doesn’t love me? What if he can’t work with me any more? What if…_

Tommy’s face paled as the consequences of a _no_ from Adam rattled through his head like a runaway freight train _fuckfuckfuck_

“Baby?” Adam’s voice startled him back into the present and he jumped. “You okay?”

Nodding, Tommy let himself be folded into a hug, his arms sliding around Adam’s waist to squeeze him tightly _this might be the last hug you get…_ “missed you!” he mumbled into Adam’s chest, breathing in that unique aroma that was just _Adam_.

“Missed you too, Gliterbaby, now let’s grab a coffee?” Adam released him and led him to the table, winking at the people on the table behind them who were making obvious _awww_ faces and clicking away on their phones; their hug would no doubt be all over twitter in minutes!

“I’ll get the coffee and pastries, you have a look at the reviews from the last two shows. I’ve left the tabs open…” he chuckled “you know the password!”

Tommy grinned and swung the netbook around to face him, fingers tapping in _PrettyKitty01_ as the screen unlocked to reveal a part completed email which Adam had obviously been composing when Tommy’d arrived. Tommy would never dream of reading Adam’s emails and moved his eyes quickly to the other two tabs Adam had mentioned.

Jabbing his finger over the pad to find the cursor, his eyes caught his name in the email and automatically followed the words. His mouth went dry and his butterflies went into terminal freefall. Staring hard at the screen his heart turned tail and ran…and ran and ran…

_Sauli_

_So good to talk to you on Monday. Ok, details of flight Delta Airlines DA0129 depart Helsinki 07:00 arrive LAX 06:05with 2 stops. I’ll meet you if I can – should be there as long as flights all on time. I’ve got a meeting with my label later in the day but schedule’s clear other than that. I’ve ordered a car so even if I get held up you won’t have to hang around the airport!_

_I’ve booked you into the London West Hollywood Hotel although we don’t have to use that booking if we get on and you want to stay here with me._

_I’m so excited to see you again and I can’t wait for you to meet Tommy Joe properly, my beautiful best friend and bass player. I know you’re going to love him._

_Who knew when we met in Jenny Woo’s that we’d be doing this. I know you’re probably rolling your eyes right now but I really do believe it was in the stars._

_Safe travels my love. See you very_

His fingers on autopilot, Tommy clicked on the first tab and began reading the review by the Hollywood Reporter. The words blurred in front of him as tears threatened to fall and he blinked them away hastily as Adam plonked their drinks down, dropped into the seat next to him and began pointing out the bits of the write up he particularly liked. “See, they really get our connection…” he rested his head against Tommy’s “I love that they _get_ us… _finally!_ We’re so hot up on that stage!”

He grabbed their coffees and held Tommy’s out “A toast…to us, to best friends, a killer tour and so much more to come”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Tommy gazed into Adam’s shining eyes and had to smile, his heart swelling with love and pride for the man he adored… “To us and the future!” They bumped cups and both took a deep drink before diving into their cinnamon whirls and moving on to the next review.

Once they’d finished their coffee and dissected the reviews to their heart’s content, Adam closed the laptop. “You wanna go somewhere, do something?” He folded Tommy’s hand into his own and kissed Tommy’s fingers one by one “I love that we don’t have to be anywhere! We could go back and cuddle up with a film…we haven’t watched Velvet Goldmine since we came home…”

The idea of cuddling up in Adam’s bed as they watched the film Tommy considered as _their film_ was both enticing and terrifying and knowing he’d somehow blurt out either his feelings or the fact he knew about Adam’s _visitor_ meant he couldn’t risk being alone with him right now. He shrugged “dunno…you wanna come and help me choose a new guitar? I was going there after here.”

Hiding his disappointment at Tommy’s rejection of his plans to get Tommy alone, Adam managed to grin and nod and they headed outside, stopping to sign for a couple of fans on the way. They strolled in companionable silence, hands close but not touching.

Once inside the store, Adam watched, entertained, as Tommy leapt around like a kid in a candy store, hopping from one Fender to another, talking at top speed about the different features. Nodding, hopefully, in the right places, Adam tucked this delightfully exuberant Tommy carefully away in his memory…

“Tommy?” A soft female voice accompanied a tap on his arm.

“Huh?” Tommy gazed at the face. She was attractive and vaguely familiar…in fact, he knew he should know who it was. He grinned “you got me!”

“Yeah, right!” The woman crinkled up her nose in amusement “Allison said she’d swapped numbers with you the other day. I was thinking I might crash your jam session when you get around to sorting it out?” She mimed an air guitar “maybe we could try the duelling bass?”

Adam watched from along the aisle, a knot forming in his stomach as he took in the flirtatious nature of their conversation, wanting nothing more than to march up to them and snog Tommy’s face off right under her nose. Instead, he jammed one hand in his pocket and grabbed a pack of rainbow coloured strings off the display beside him with the other, strolling nonchalantly up to the pair.

“Hey Glitterbaby, you see these? Oh, hi Liz! How’s you?” _Back off lady, this one’s mine!_

_Liz, of course, from Allison’s concert opening act…pretty mean bass player…_ “Oh I like those! Thanks! I wonder if they’ve got pics to match?” He smiled sweetly “Liz and I were just arranging a jam session for early next week” _he’ll have fucking Sauli to keep him amused…and yeah, probably fucking Sauli…_

“That’s brilliant TJ! How about Monday? Give me your number and I’ll arrange it with Allison…” After programming her number and email into his phone, Liz planted a soft kiss on his cheek, winked at Adam and walked elegantly away, her hips swinging seductively as both men gazed after her.

“Jam session then?” Adam’s jealous goblins kicked at his innards and he grimaced as the words came out more as a bitter accusation than an attempt to make conversation.

“Yeah, should be fun…” Tommy’s brain unhelpfully provided a selection of different situations Adam and _Sauli_ could be getting themselves into and his voice lacked any enthusiasm.

An awkward silence fell, broken by the sound of Adam’s phone. Digging it out of his pocket, he glanced at the caller ID and blushed, remembering the last time he’d been on the phone to Sauli “I have to take this…”

Tommy’s eyebrows rose and he couldn’t resist a gentle dig “maybe you should wait until you can get a room…” he tugged the strings from Adam’s hand and swung on his heels, pausing to add over his shoulder “don’t get arrested…I’ll be at the checkout”

Adam’s heart sank as he suddenly remembered he’d left the email open – and unfinished – which was undoubtedly why Sauli was calling him now. He knew Tommy would never pry but it would’ve been impossible to not see the message on the screen… _fuck maybe inviting Sauli over had been a bad idea…_ “Hi…no, I’m out at the moment” _with the man I love who I’ve just pissed off completely because I’m a selfish bastard who was only thinking about getting laid_ “I’ve got an email ready to go with all the details, I’ll finish it when I get home…yeah, you too! See you in a couple of days!”

Tommy was waiting for him outside and they walked in silence back to their cars.

“I’ll call you” Adam pressed a kiss to Tommy’s cheek, the same cheek Liz had kissed _have to remove her DNA from his skin_

“Yeah, thanks for coffee…” Tommy closed his eyes, fighting the urge to scream at Adam for not waiting for him _I would’ve got there…told you how I want…need…love you…_

They got into their respective cars and drove away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back to work Monday so next one will be at the weekend [or sooner if I can]

 

Adam stirred restlessly, his head thrashing as he whimpered brokenly once more. Tommy tugged him closer, one hand returning to stroke through Adam’s hair as he whispered soft words of love. Within moments, Adam had settled down again. Tommy lay back and stared up into the dark. How had everything changed so quickly back then? What if… _it was all the fucking ‘what if’s’ that had got him into that situation in the first place!_

Biting his lip he went back over those eventful weeks…

The jam session at Allison’s had been epic fun, she’d invited her drummer pal to join them and they’d all laughed endlessly and really let it fly, recording the whole thing to see how it sounded in playback as they downed cool beers and ate tacos. They’d all immediately signed up for a repeat performance the following week and it felt good to just go with it…

As a result, Tommy was feeling pretty chilled out as he and Liz walked out to their cars after the session. He didn’t see it coming until it was too late…

“Good fun today TJ?” Liz shifted her bass case to the opposite shoulder “You’re a kickass guitarist…way better than Pittman actually!”

Blushing, Tommy shrugged “I did play once, when Monte was away for the birth of his twins…it was rad!”

“The twins or the show?” she giggled and slipped her arm through his.

“Haha! So funny Hill!”

“I thought so! So, TJ…I was thinking…we should try and write something together…just for fun, y’know…see how it fits…” as Tommy nodded she smiled “I’ll pick you up tomorrow at ten, we’ll go for coffee and see where that takes us from there!” Leaning in quickly, she pecked him on the lips and climbed into her car, racing away before he had time to protest. _Shit! She’d got him good and proper!_

Actually, she turned out to be really good company and was doing a wonderful job of soothing Tommy’s bruised ego and distracting his jealous heart which was suffering from complete neglect on Adam’s part… _ok, so Tommy hadn’t called, text, emailed or tweeted either…two could play at that game!_

The call, when it came, was from Brad who, as was usual, went straight to the point “do you want to drive him into that twink’s arms? He’s not in love with him yet, but he could get there real fast if you don’t get your cute little arse round to Adam’s _now_ and tell him you love him. You have to be absolutely straight with him…” there was a pause and Brad broke down into giggles “I mean…” he spluttered helplessly “just tell him he’s your only exception and you want to have his babies… Then you can both suck each other’s faces off and work your way down from there!”

Which was why Tommy was now sat in his car at the side of the road two streets away from Adam’s, with the engine running as he gripped the steering wheel fiercely and attempted to get his erratic heartbeat back under control before going to tell Adam _finally_ that he loved him…wanted him…wanted _everything…_ Having wrestled his butterflies back into submission, he put the car into drive and pulled out into the traffic.

He checked his face in the rear view mirror before sliding out of the car and striding purposefully towards Adam’s apartment before he could wimp out. Halfway up the stairs his traitorous legs gave out and he came to a panting halt, staring up at his destination as his nerves reasserted themselves. Taking a deep breath, he filled his head with slow replays of Munich, Amsterdam and London Fever kisses and without realising it, found himself knocking on Adam’s door.

_Fuck_! _What the fuck am I doing here? I should’ve rung first…what if he’s busy…he might be out. Yes! Then he’ll never know I was here! But if he’s not out? Fuck! If I run now I might…_ “Tommy Joe?” Adam stood in front of him, clad in his favourite chill-out baggy sweatpants and a deliciously body-hugging vest top.

“Huh?” All Tommy’s frantic mental acrobatics had left him temporarily without the aid of coherent speech.

“You read my mind Glitterbaby – I was going to call you…” Tommy melted into Adam’s arms as he was hauled over the threshold and into a fierce hug, losing himself in that wonderful aroma that was just _Adam…_ As Adam loosened his hold, Tommy looked up and couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face as he gazed into Adam’s sparkling blue eyes. Expecting a kiss, he tilted his chin and licked his lips. Warning bells blared as Adam’s lips brushed his cheek and he was tugged back into a hug instead… _what the fuck?_

“Ad-am! How must I make your tea?”

Tommy froze as that unmistakeable accent floated out from the kitchen. He struggled out of Adam’s arms, his face paling as Adam’s beautiful smile turned towards the voice and he chuckled. “Sauli, come out here – we have a visitor!”

_Fuckshitbuggerfuckfuckfuck_ Tommy stared at the empty doorway, his heart plummeting to his boots as Sauli appeared; small, blond, cute with high chiselled cheekbones and some delightful tattoos decorating his toned bare flesh… _no top? He’s almost naked…_ Tommy’s eyes narrowed as the Finn moved closer, bare feet beneath the matching baggy sweatpants. It was a scene of domestic bliss… _what was this nightmare…please let me be having a bad dream…_

“Tommy Joe, this is Sauli…Sauli, my best friend and Pretty Kitty: Tommy Joe Ratliff…” Adam beamed happily as they shook hands, missing the suspicious looks each gave the other as he draped an arm over both of their shoulders and steered them further into the room. “You two get to know each other and I’ll sort drinks…”

Shrugging out of his jacket, Tommy dropped onto the sofa, leant back and crossed one leg over the other in a subconscious exhibition of dominance _I belong here more than you do…_

Sauli perched elegantly on the arm of the chair and somehow managed to blend into the surroundings as if he’d been there forever. _Fuck!_

They exchanged a few stilted pleasantries in Sauli’s delightfully broken English until Adam rejoined them with mugs of tea for himself and Sauli and a coffee for Tommy. Handing the drinks around he sat in his usual chair and smiled happily across at Tommy.

Caught between wanting to grin back at that beautiful face and snarl angry _get your fucking hands off my man_ at the attractive interloper now leaning against Adam’s shoulder as he maintained his position on the arm of the chair with an effortless grace and confidence.

Adam’s happy smile won it and Tommy knew when he was beaten.

He grinned back. “Missed you fucker!”

“Missed you too, Glitterbaby! You could’ve called!”

“ _You_ should’ve called…”

“ _You_ were busy jammin’ and having coffee with beautiful bass players!”

“Sutan?”

Adam laughed “Of course, Sutan! And Brad…I wanted him to meet Sauli so we went for dinner yesterday…”

_I don’t get to meet just anybody you know…_ Brad’s words from their first meeting rattled through Tommy’s head, the memory twisting his insides as he realised Adam was no longer available…whilst he’d been prevaricating over his sexuality and debating fuckteen _what if’s_ Adam had fallen for someone else…someone who was also tiny, blond and gorgeous… _fuck_

His mouth opened automatically “I love Brad…” He blinked furiously as tears welled and stood up suddenly, jamming a finger into his eye.

“Tommy?” Adam’s expression changed to one of concern and he leant forward.

“Eyelash! Be right back…” Closing the bathroom door behind him, Tommy stifled a sob as he gripped the sides of the sink and stared into the mirror, watching as the tears fell down his cheeks.

Breathing deeply, he pummelled his broken heart under control. Adam must never know _get a grip Ratliff…you love him - be happy for him…_ Wiping his eyes and assessing the damage to his face, Tommy rifled through Adam’s make-up bag, as he had done so many times in the past, to find his eyeliner. Replacing the kohl pencil, he checked his reflection.

Glancing around the bathroom as he turned to leave, his heart shattered still further as he took in the discarded towels on the floor and the hastily shed clothing in a heap…the torn condom wrapper hammering home just how much he’d lost. He had to get out of here before he gave himself away.

Trembling fingers punched in a text message _Rescue please. At Adam’s_ _L  I’m fucked up_  Pressing send, he jammed it back into his pocket, took another deep breath, fixed a smile on his face and opened the door.

Sauli was now half in Adam’s lap as the two talked and laughed, faces close, lips almost touching as warm breath was shared. The few tiny remaining shards of Tommy’s heart splintered and crashed to the floor as he was confronted with this display of intimacy and when his phone blasted _Fever_ from his pocket, he couldn’t pull it out fast enough…

“Brad!”

“Cheeks’ Rescue Services…say whatever you need and I’ll agree…”

“Yeah, I’m on my way. I just stopped off to say hi to Adam as we’re in his neighbourhood…”

“You want me to come and get you?”

“S’okay, I’ve got my car, so meet you at our usual place?”

“I’m guessing we’re going to your favourite coffee shop?”

“Yeah, see you in ten…”

“On my way…and Tommy?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s gonna be okay…”

“If you say so sweetie…” Tommy turned a grimace into a rough laugh, aware that Adam and Sauli were within hearing. “’Kay, I’m gone!” He hung up and slid the phone back into his pocket. “That’s my date boys, can’t keep him waiting!” He winked at Adam “you know what an impatient Cheeks is like…”

Adam’s throaty chuckle set his blood pumping and he fixed the image of that condom wrapper in his head, effectively killing any sparks below his waistline. Moving swiftly across the room, he retrieved his jacket from the back of the sofa and pulled it on. “Thanks for the coffee babyboy and…” he bit his lip hard “…good to meet you Sauli”

Adam nudged Sauli off his lap and stood up. Following Tommy to the door he wrapped him into a hug and brushed his lips lightly over Tommy’s. “Thanks for stopping by” he grinned and tapped Tommy’s nose with his finger “don’t forget mom’s for dinner on Sunday…you want me to pick you up?”

“Are you both…”

“Sauli leaves tomorrow. It’s just a short visit…”

“Oh! Yeah, be cool…” The butterflies flickered minutely…maybe there was still a chance… Madness prevailed for a moment as he reached out and tugged Adam’s face to his own, cupping his cheeks to kiss him sweetly before releasing him and bolting out of the door. “Text me about Sunday!” floating back as he disappeared down the stairs.

Adam touched his lips thoughtfully as he closed the door and returned to Sauli. As they curled up on the sofa to watch a film he couldn’t help comparing the two men…

Both were tiny, blond and sexy as fuck.

Tommy he loved…would always love.

Sauli he _could_ love.

Tommy was straight…with a question mark if Neil was to be believed…

Sauli was… _available and willing…_

He sighed softly and bundled those thoughts back into their box. Thinking was dangerous.

Tommy paced up and down outside the coffee house, his brain racing at nine hundred miles an hour as he went over the encounter in his head. The more he tried to think, the less he was able to… When Brad arrived, Tommy flung himself into the other man’s arms and clung on tightly.

Brad hugged him fiercely before prising him off and propelling Tommy back towards Brad’s car. Opening the door, Tommy slid in obediently and clicked on his seatbelt. He wasn’t surprised when they arrived at Brad’s apartment.

Once inside, Brad grabbed a bottle of Jack and a couple of glasses, pouring them both generous measures. “Tell Cheeks all…”

“He was with Sauli…y’know _with…_ ”

“I met him last night at dinner…” Brad tilted his head thoughtfully “he’s actually quite nice…and cute…” he sighed “he’s like us…Adam definitely has a type!”

“Mike says everyone knows I love him…love Adam…everyone _except Adam!_ The one fucking person who needs to know… _doesn’t…_ and now it’s too late…”

“I think Adam loves you _too much_ to risk losing your friendship. When he loves, he does it totally, with everything he is and if he’s afraid that you don’t feel the same…” Taking a slug of his bourbon, Brad leant back and stuck his feet up on the coffee table, waving at Tommy to do likewise and then wrapped him into a one armed hug.

Comfortable and warm, the alcohol creating a pleasant buzz in his veins, Tommy relaxed against Brad’s body. “So what do I do?”

“How much do you know about Adam’s previous relationships?”

“He doesn’t talk about them but says he’s going to write a song about his relationships, where you know it’s bad for you but you keep going back…He likes them small and blond… But other than you…nothing! And I only know what you’ve told me about you…”

“We make much better friends than we ever did lovers. Oh there were good times…lots of good times – it was a wild scene we were in at that time, and the sex was fantastic…” he sighed wistfully “Adam _really_ knows how to make you feel good…sorry! That’s not what you wanted to know! We were both growing artistically and we shouted a lot, and I mean _a lot_ …I slammed doors, Adam played loud music – we must’ve been terrible neighbours to have!”

Brad’s chuckle died away “After yet another row over some show we were supposed to be seeing and Adam wasn’t ready so we were going to be late again, we sat down over coffee and decided that we’d be better off apart…oh we stayed close, even fucked a few times after - when the itch got too strong, but it’s true when I say I still love him – not like it was back then, it’s that kind of beyond friendship thing…I’ll never see him as anything other than completely beautiful, inside and out…

There wasn’t anyone for Adam for a while after me; it was the weirdest break-up ever because we still had each other for company…there were plenty of hook-ups of course but they were only ever the one night kinda thing…oh baby, when we went out on the hunt!” He took another mouthful of Jack “you still with me?”

“Yeah” Tommy nodded and leant closer.

“One night there was this guy at the club…he wasn’t Adam’s usual prey – oh he was cute, but he didn’t go in for the whole scene like we did. He worked the bar at Shady’s and they got talking. The guy was straight but bi-curious. They went out a few times and Adam fell for him pretty hard. He stopped hitting the scene and changed the way he dressed, stopped wearing make-up…everything Lew wanted, Adam gave him… He even stopped our weekly meets because Lew said it would ‘look bad’ to be seen out with someone so obviously gay…”

“What the fuck?” Tommy was incensed.

Brad squeezed his shoulder reassuringly before continuing. “Eventually, Lew decided that Adam wasn’t what he wanted and dumped him to go back to his girlfriend. I’ve never seen Adam so down and my non-violence policy came under severe strain…it’s the first time I’ve had the urge to smash my fist into someone’s face so hard it breaks…

So, safely back in Cheeks’ arms he gradually rediscovered himself and we had a wild time -performing, partying…just being who we were. He swore then never to touch a straight man again…”

“So, because he thinks…”

“Now you’re getting it! He doesn’t know what I know, what Sutan knows, what Mike knows…hell, what the whole friggin’ world knows! He won’t risk your friendship for anything – he loves you too much for that.”

“Am I bi?” Tommy sat up and stared at his hands, twisting them anxiously in his lap.

“Do you find other men attractive – not counting Adam?”

“No…”

“Not even me?” Brad jabbed him with an elbow.

“Hmmm…I guess you’re cute!” Tommy couldn’t help grinning “but I don’t have the urge to crawl into your pants!” Turning to face Brad, he looked into his eyes “It’s just him…just Adam, like you said: he’s my only exception…I don’t know how or why but the moment I laid eyes on him…” he shrugged helplessly “he had me captivated… Fuck! What am I?”

“Honey, I’d say you’re not straight in the traditional sense…remember what I said to you about labels? Think of it as _flexible…_ you love the person not the gender and we both know Adam is so easy to love… _”_

“So now what? He’s spent the last week fucking Sauli’s brains out and I can’t compete with that…I’ve only ever…with women…he’s the only man I’ve ever kissed – I mean properly kissed…”

“So you’ve never..?”

Tommy shook his head.

“Not even a hand or blow job? Fuck, Adam must really love you to be so restrained”

“Er…” Tommy’s cheeks burned as he recalled that night in Amsterdam.

“Oh, so there _was_ something…” Brad nudged him “time to share!”

“I…er…we…er… _fuck!_ ”

Laughing, Brad dragged Tommy back to their comfortable positions with their feet up and tugged him in close. “You’re okay, hon, I’m just glad you got to taste something of him…it gives you a reason to hang in there until he’s got this little Finn out of his system. Whatever else he does, I know he loves you… Now let’s drink ourselves stupid and fall asleep in our clothes!”

With most of the bottle gone, Tommy was curled up in Brad’s arms, snoring softly “sweet dreams, honey!” Brad closed his eyes and joined Tommy in slumber.

The next morning saw them both wincing against the daylight and washing painkillers down with copious amounts of black coffee. Hugging Brad tightly, Tommy set off home in a cab to take a hot shower and mull over the events of the previous day.

He felt a warm rush of gratitude towards Brad for finally setting his head straight… _and there was that word again!_ But it didn’t frighten him any more…

True to his word, Adam picked Tommy up Sunday morning and they spent a fun day with Leila, eating, drinking, laughing…they held hands and shared soft kisses, just as they had done on tour. It was liberating and Tommy relished the time to just be with Adam again.

After fond farewells and thank yous, they headed back to Adam’s, curled up on Adam’s bed and watched Velvet Goldmine, falling asleep long before the credits rolled. For one beautiful day it was like Finland had never happened…

Christmas and New Year passed in a blur of good food, great company and some cracking jammin’ sessions with friends. Adam talked about plans for his next album, signed a new worldwide music admin deal and agreed to do a one hour VH1 Behind the Music documentary…there were appearances on talkshows and magazines; it was a busy life and Tommy thrived, loving these amazing people who understood when he needed to retreat to just be himself, by himself...

He conspired with Sutan and Lee as the three planned to co-host Adam’s 30th birthday party at the end of January. Adam had chosen a charity for his fans to donate to and every party guest would be invited to donate as well. Tommy had chosen a simple, but very _Adam_ gift to go with his donation. He’d commissioned a pair of bracelets, triple strand leather with a large silver infinity symbol clasp…it was beautiful, they’d have one each and in Tommy’s head it was a promise that he would always love and be there for Adam, no matter what…

“Hey, Glitterbaby, wake up!” Adam tickled him under his chin as he blinked awake somewhat reluctantly. “It’s my birthday!”

“Too early, fucker! Go away!”  

“It’s my _birthday_!” Adam leant over him, propped up on one elbow.

Even with his eyes firmly closed, Tommy could _hear_ the pout and he grinned, opening his eyes again. A pouting Adam was always a beautiful Adam, his hair stuck up all over the place and clear freckled skin just begging to be kissed. Reaching out, Tommy pulled Adam’s face closer to capture his lips, licking into his mouth for a tongue tangling, spine tingling, toe curling birthday kiss that left them both panting when they finally broke apart.  

“Happy birthday, babyboy!”

Adam grinned “so where’s my surprise party being held?”

Tommy shook his head, “oh no, it’s a surprise remember!”

“Not even if I tickle it out of you?”

“Haha, not funny dude, that breaks the rules of fair play!” Tommy’s shrieks of laughter were muffled as Adam’s mouth closed over his to kiss away the effects of tickled hipbones. When Adam eventually released him, Tommy was a molten mess of kiss swollen lips, glazed eyes and sporting a hard on that demanded urgent attention.

“It’s my birthday, Tommy Joe…” the hoarse whisper against his ear set his blood pumping as Adam slid across his body to lie in the space as Tommy automatically spread his legs. He could feel Adam pressing hot and hard against his thigh and desire surged through his veins. He wanted this… _needed_ this… _they_ needed this…

“So what do you think _Tommy Joe?_ ” Adam’s eyes blazed with a hunger that matched his own and he nodded. Adam leant closer still “Tell me…please, tell me…”

“I want you… _all of you…everything…I want you…please…_ ”

“You’ve had me from day one, baby…’m gonna make you feel so good…” Adam’s lips brushed soft kisses down the side of Tommy’s jaw, lingering at the base of his neck to suck a deep purple bruise into his skin.

Adam chuckled as Tommy whined impatiently and arched up towards him, trailing his fingers lightly over Tommy’s abdomen and moving lower, following the path with his mouth…

“Oi, sleeping beauty! Shift your arse!” The aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafting under his nose, dragged Tommy from his dreams and his eyes flew open to find Mike looking at him with an amused grin. “I really don’t want to know what you were dreaming about, but you sounded like a cat in heat!” He ruffled Tommy’s hair fondly.

“Fucker!” Tommy grabbed at the mug and hauled himself into a sitting position on the sofa where he’d finally fallen asleep in the early hours. He took a huge gulp of his coffee and swallowed quickly as it burned his throat.

“You’re welcome!” Mike laughed “you’re such a grumpy bastard when you’re first awake! Now if you go and get showered like a good boy I’ll make you pancakes for breakfast!” He watched as Tommy took off towards the bathroom muttering under his breath about bossy roomies holding blueberries to ransom. Shaking his head, Mike headed back into the kitchen.

One shower, one panted gasp of Adam’s name as he hit his release, a fresh mug of coffee and several blueberry pancakes later, Tommy was set for the day. Pecking Mike on the cheek, he grabbed his jacket and car keys on his way to the door, pausing as Mike called him, grinning.

“Let me know you got there safe, don’t talk to strangers and be home before dark!

“Yeah, thanks mom, will do!” The door banged behind him as they both burst out laughing.

Tommy was in good spirits as he eased out into the traffic and headed towards Adam’s, the gift bag with his card and present in on the passenger seat beside him.

As he loped up the stairs he couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face; it was going to be an awesome day…Adam’s birthday, the surprise party later, the performances they’d arranged… Allowing himself a happy sigh, Tommy knocked on Adam’s door, his expectations high…

When the door opened, it seemed all was not well. Adam was on the phone, pacing the floor with an urgency that told Tommy he was seriously unhappy and doing his best to control it. Not a good omen…not that Tommy believed in all that shit, but Adam _did_ and so it mattered…

“For the last time, Monte, _NO_! I won’t change my mind, I won’t come round…and I’m done talking about it… NO, end of!” Adam cut the connection and threw his phone down onto the sofa, frustration evident in the coiled tension of his body.

He sighed as Tommy watched him, blond head tilted waiting…waiting for the outburst to get it off his chest. It didn’t come. Tommy frowned at this most unusual Adam behaviour and moved closer.

“You okay babyboy?”

“What? Yeah…just some creative differences…it’s fine.”

The smile didn’t reach his eyes and Tommy hated seeing Adam hurt. He tried a different approach, lifting his arm to show the black gift bag dangling from his wrist “Happy birthday!”

This time the grin was real and Tommy squeaked as the air was driven from his lungs in the bone crushing hug he was suddenly engulfed in. _This_ was the Adam he knew and loved and he hugged back as best he could. The kiss, when it came, was sweet and gentle and had him melting against Adam’s body as he lost himself in everything that was _Adam_ and his butterflies rediscovered the will for soaring flight.

Releasing him, Adam rubbed their noses together “Thanks, Glitterbaby, I needed that!”

“Welcome dude!” Tommy gasped, somewhat breathlessly, as Adam grinned, his spirits seemingly restored to usual buoyant levels.

“Let’s do breakfast!”

“Huh?”

“Breakfast! I want to go out for breakfast!”

“Oh! Yeah! ‘course!” Even with his belly full of Mike’s blueberry pancakes, Tommy could still find room for a cinnamon whirl at their favourite diner! He followed Adam into his bedroom, his mouth dropping open at the mass of clothes heaped in piles everywhere, closet doors and drawers all open. “You get robbed?”

“Ha funny!” Adam gave him the finger and chuckled before a flash of _something_ crossed his face and he turned away quickly. “I’m…er…having a clear out…movin’ stuff to the other room…”

“You want a hand?” Tommy moved towards a pile of jeans.

“ **No!** ”

“Whoa! S’ok man, I won’t touch!” Tommy jumped at Adam’s sharp tone and stepped back to the doorway.

“Tommy…it’s not…I’m… _fuck!_ It’s just that…” He sighed heavily “I didn’t mean to snap…”

“Whatever… If you need to blow off steam…you know I’m yours…anything you need…”

An unexpected gleam of tears sparkled in Adam’s eyes. “It’s not important!” He shrugged and grabbed a t-shirt and hoodie off the pile on the bed. “Let’s get out of here!”

As Adam took himself into the bathroom, Tommy snuck another look at Adam’s bedroom. The closets had half of their contents removed and three drawers of the six drawer chest were now empty. A peek into the guest room showed a suitcase open on the bed. It was full of shoes and boots, some of the more outlandish and eccentric designs bringing a smile to Tommy’s face as he recalled different outings with them over the past year.

Hearing the bathroom door opening, he moved swiftly back into the lounge and was sat on the sofa scrolling through his phone when Adam joined him, looking gorgeous in clinging black jeans, barcode print t-shirt and his hoodie tied around his waist.

Taking the offered hand, Tommy pulled himself up and was wrapped into a hug. “Didn’t mean to…”

“S’cool…always!” Tommy interrupted, the words muffled against Adam’s chest, but they obviously did the job as Adam released him, a gentle smile now lighting his face.

“Let’s go, baby!”

Hand in hand, they headed down the stairs and piled into Adam’s car. Fifteen minutes later they were sliding into a booth at the Cinnamon Flame diner, coffees were poured and orders taken. Finally, Tommy handed over his birthday gift, beaming happily as Adam went into raptures and immediately put it on before kissing the breath out of him, much to the amusement of their server who arrived with their mixed breakfast platter.

Giggling as Adam winked at her and Tommy’s cheeks turned a fetching shade of pink, she left them to it.

Clinking their mugs together, Tommy grinned “Happy birthday fucker! Love you!”

Adam grinned back “Love you too, now tell me where my surprise party is!”

“Nope! And we’re in a public place so you can’t torture it out of me!” He wrinkled his nose in confusion as Adam’s smile faded. “If you really want to know..?”

“It’s not that…it’s just…I mean…”

“Adam…just say it, whatever it is…” he took Adam’s hand in his and kissed it softly “that infinity symbol means exactly what I said earlier...I’m yours _always_ …no matter what…whatever it is, it won’t change us…” His butterflies huddled together miserably, preparing for the blow…

“My party…can I bring someone?”

Whatever he was expecting, it wasn’t that. Tommy looked at Adam who was wearing an expression that was part shy and part hopeful. “Your party babyboy, you bring anyone you want! I think we’ve invited everyone already though, plus a few you…”

“Not him…” Adam took a breath in and squeezed their still joined hands “I asked Sauli to move in, he arrives today…to stay…” He flicked a quick glance at Tommy’s face.

As soon as Adam had started his previous sentence, Tommy had known what was coming and thankfully had a few seconds to school his features into a delighted smile _you love him…be happy for him..._

“Awesome news! I’m happy for you…both…”

For the second time that day, Tommy had the breath squashed out of him in a bone crushing hug before Adam peppered his face with grateful kisses.     

By the time Tommy returned home late afternoon he was exhausted, having painted on a smile for Adam, then everyone else at the rehearsals for Adam’s surprise show. Sutan and Isaac had both hugged him hard but neither had said anything with so many people milling around.

As he downed a cold bottle of Becks and crashed onto his bed, Tommy would’ve given real money to have the whole day vanish from existence… Instead, he set his alarm for two hours hence and closed his eyes, his sleep fitful and haunted by the images of Adam and Sauli kissing passionately in the armchair as they looked across at him sat alone on Adam’s sofa.

He was relieved beyond measure when the alarm dragged him from his dreamland torture. After a quick shower, he dressed in all black, lined his eyes with smoky grey kohl and a touch of shadow then added the soundwave pendant Adam had given him for his last birthday and his own infinity bracelet. Black creepers completed the ensemble…perfect to sink into the background in…

The party was a huge success, Adam loved the drag show, laughing delightedly as he was pulled up onto the makeshift runway to escort the Lady Raja in her glittering rhinestone gown. From the side of the stage where they were getting ready to go on next to play their birthday tribute, Tommy alternately watched the man he loved with every atom of his being as he glowed with happiness and his…his… _friend_ grinning happily and clapping his hands together.

After playing the short set they’d planned, everyone came back out and they all sang happy birthday. Adam blushed as the cheers lifted the roof and then hugged each one of them in turn, whispering “thank you, Glitterbaby… _for everything…_ ” before kissing Tommy softly and spinning him around until they were both dizzy.

As the night wore on and the dancing got underway, Tommy found himself with Liz, who looked stunning in a low cut red dress that accentuated her soft curves. Trying not to stare as Adam draped himself over Sauli and writhed as only Adam could, Tommy did his best to keep up with Liz and Allison, somehow ending up smooching with Liz when the pace slowed.

If Liz was disappointed Tommy didn’t offer to take her home, she didn’t show it, kissing him lightly before jumping into a cab with several others going to her side of town. Tommy was left with the core group of friends and organisers and a rather drunk and cuddly Adam. Sauli watched and smiled. As expected, Adam’s friends had all welcomed him into the fold and it was as if he’d been there forever…

As despair suddenly washed over him, Tommy went backstage, hugged a totally-out-of-it Sutan/Raja and snuck out. Once home, he threw himself onto his bed and cried himself to sleep…

In the weeks that followed, Tommy kept himself busy; writing with Liz, jammin’ with their little group, re-watching every John Wayne movie and every episode of M.A.S.H. ever made and scaring the fuck out Mike with his attempts to cook and be domestic. His insomnia was rife and as the dark shadows under his eyes grew darker, Mike watched and worried over him like a mother hen.

Sutan had tried to get him to come out, Brad had threatened him if he didn’t shift his pretty little arse out and Liz had offered more than a friendly ear…far more…

In the end it was someone totally unexpected who dragged a broken hearted Tommy back into life…

It was a little after ten, Mike was out clubbing with his latest beau, Sheena, or something like that. Tommy had a beer at his side which he’d not started and was stretched out on his front on the sofa watching reruns of his favourite GNT shows on YouTube _you’re a sad fucker Ratliff…move on…you love him…be happy for him…_ As the Adam on the screen slid a hand around the back of Tommy’s neck and pulled him in close for a hot _Fever_ kiss, Tommy’s phone rang in his pocket.

Glancing at the caller ID he almost didn’t answer it but curiosity got the better of him. “Yep!”  - just because he’d answered, it didn’t mean he had to be buddy-buddy…

“It is me…Sauli…” there was a pause before Sauli continued “Adam needs you...”

“Adam? What’s wrong?” Tommy sat up and dumped his laptop on the coffee table.

“He is hurt” Tommy could barely hear the whisper.

“I’m on my way” he hung up without a goodbye, his one thought to get to Adam as soon as possible as horror after possible horror rolled through his head.

Breaking every speed limit, it was mere minutes until he was panting up the stairs to tap on Adam’s front door. The door opened immediately and Sauli beckoned him inside, making sshh sounds as he tugged Tommy quickly through the lounge and into the kitchen.

Tommy opened his mouth to speak, beaten to it by the Finn who looked desperately sad and completely out of his depth.

“It is good you come so quickly. You and Adam are loves, yes?”

Sauli seemed to have a knack of rendering Tommy speechless. He shook his head, wondering where on earth this was going and _where the fuck is Adam.._.

For a moment Sauli looked confused before an unexpected smile lit his face _fuck, he’s really cute…no wonder Adam…_

“I do not mean here!” Sauli mimed hip thrusting movements “I am meaning _here_!” He put one hand over his heart, surprising Tommy yet again by placing the other one over Tommy’s heart too. That sunshine smile flashed once more “It makes me happy to share his heart with you. Now it is you he is in need… Go! I make us tea…”

After giving Tommy a gentle push towards the master bedroom, Sauli turned to the sink and reached for the kettle.

Bemused beyond words, Tommy pushed the door open. Adam was face down, wretched sobs shaking his body. Seeing the man he loved so broken, nothing else mattered but making it better. Crawling onto the bed, he gathered Adam into his arms and pulled him in close “tell me, babyboy…”

Even with swollen red eyes and tear stained face Adam was still beautiful and Tommy’s heart leapt as his senses were swamped with everything _Adam…_

_“Monte…”_

“Is he..?”

“Betrayed…sold…I said no…they’re not who I am…” Adam broke down into more sobs.

“Those _creative differences_ you were having?” Tommy was beginning to see the light and why Sauli had called him.

“We wrote some stuff, recorded some other stuff…” Adam curled closer into Tommy’s embrace, his breath coming in shaky gasps “way back, before Idol. They were just session tracks…nothing songs…no meaning…not who I am…”

“Is this the Take One that I keep seeing on Twitter?”

Adam nodded, fresh tears filling his eyes “how could he be so cheap? How could he betray me? I don’t want my fans thinking this is me…”

Tommy rocked them gently, thinking fast. His knowledge of the legalities of this kind of thing was limited, but he did know people who would help. Brushing Adam’s tears away with his thumb he pressed a kiss to his forehead. “’m gonna call Sloane…see what he thinks…”

Adam nodded, cuddling closer, his breathing slowing as he calmed down. There was a brief silence as Tommy scrolled through his contacts list.

“How did you know?”

“Sauli rang me…” Adam nodded and closed his eyes.

Tommy pressed call and was soon explaining the situation to Mike’s lawyer cousin. He listened intently as Sloane fired off a list of questions, answering the ones he could “hold on…” as he stroked a finger gently across Adam’s cheek to get his attention. “Did you sign anything? Were the songs registered as yours alone or jointly? Did you ever plan to release them together?”

Adam crinkled his brow, thinking, before holding his hand out for the phone. Tommy handed it over as he suppressed a smile at the return of the Adam he loved so much…the Adam who kicked arse and fought for what was right…

“Nothing signed recently, we did have an agreement that the songs were jointly owned and written and I think that was all done through Monte’s people – back then I was just starting out, Monte was the one in the know, with the experience and connections… We never got around to making any firm plans about releasing them – it was the experience of the process…at least that’s what I thought it was about…”

He listened intently, added a few “yes” and “no” responses before thanking Sloane and handing the phone back to Tommy, relaxing back into Tommy’s arms.

“Okay, yeah, thanks dude… _Take One_ it’s called. It’s all over Twitter…yeah, soon as…we’ll be here!” He hung up as Sauli tapped on the door and came in with a tray of mugs and a plate of some strange looking cakes. He smiled at them both and perched on the bed beside them, handing out the mugs of tea and offering the plate.

Nodding his thanks, Tommy bit into the cake and moaned his approval as the sinfully rich chocolate melted in his mouth.

Adam and Sauli both chuckled, “they are you like, Tommy?”

“Mmnmn, man they’re divine!” Tommy mumbled through another mouthful.

“They’re Runerbergin Torttu…” Adam glanced at Sauli for confirmation he’d got the name right “flour, breadcrumbs and bitter dark chocolate – a Finnish speciality cake”

“You can keep him!” Tommy grinned as he licked the chocolate off his fingers and sighed contentedly.

A sudden smothered sob from Adam had Tommy and Sauli both reaching for him in alarm but he shook his head, fresh tears filling his eyes “I’m just happy to see the two people I love best in the world getting along…whatever happens with Monte I know I’ll be okay because I have both of you…” Reaching out, he tugged Sauli closer into the circle of Tommy’s arms and reverse hugged them both.

“Sap!” Tommy’s tone was soft, his smile gentle as he hugged them tightly.

“You are special loves to me both!” Sauli leant in and kissed Tommy firmly before pressing his lips to Adam’s.

Yet again, Tommy was reduced to stunned silence before all three started laughing. As they were gasping for breath, Tommy’s phone rang and he snatched it up from the pillow “Sloane?” he handed the phone to Adam.

As Sloane started speaking, Adam put it on loudspeaker so they could all hear…”so it looks like his team stitched you up good and proper back then – that agreement you signed actually signed your rights away to Monte, meaning he can sell, promote, release any of them without your agreement and he has sole rights to any income generated from such activities. Now we can challenge this in court – you were taken advantage of as a young upcoming artist and the publicity will…”

“No! Monte can have it - but he’ll never play on stage with me again and I’ll get my people to distance me from the recording. Any court fight can only generate negative publicity and I’m not going to slug this out in the public arena…there are other ways…” he smiled grimly “thank you, Sloane for getting back to me so quickly and if there’s ever anything that I or my new lead guitarist can do for you…”

Anything else he said was drowned out in the excited screech from said guitarist as he bounced on the bed.

“You’re welcome, Adam, just keep that barn owl under control! Tommy? Congrats mate, catch ya soon and kick Mike’s arse for me, right!” Chuckling, Sloane hung up.

Tommy beamed at Adam with shining eyes “really? You sure?”

Nodding, his own grin bright, Adam kissed Tommy’s fingers. “My beautiful and loyal Pretty Kitty…it’s where you should’ve been from the start! Now, let’s celebrate! Champagne! We need the champagne from the fridge – the ones I got for my birthday!”

Cold tea was dumped in the sink and two bottles of ‘the good stuff’ as Adam put it were taken back into the bedroom. Tommy removed the foil and untwisted the wire from the cap as Sauli set out glasses and Adam held court from the centre of his bed, watching impatiently “c’mon Glitterbaby pop that cork!”

“What is ‘pop that lock’? Where is ‘lock’?” Sauli looked around him, confused, as Tommy and Adam fell about laughing. Sauli pouted, prompting Adam to drag him onto the bed and kiss that pout into a panting, helpless heap of blond cuteness.

The cork ricocheted off the ceiling like a bullet and after filling the glasses they toasted the advent of a new era, of love and friendship and new music to come. Finally, they curled up together and introduced Sauli to _Velvet Goldmine_ , Adam in the middle with an arm around each of his two most loved people.    

The following months saw a new mood of contentment. Tommy met with Adam and Sauli at least twice a week, sometimes just Adam, even, on occasion, just Sauli. It was bittersweet as he could see how happy and in love Adam was and the quality of the music he was creating was breathtaking… He could also admit to liking Sauli and enjoying his company when Adam would suddenly vanish into his makeshift studio to capture a melody or lyric that had popped into his brain.

Tommy had laughed himself into a gasping heap on the floor when Adam had unveiled a new song called _Pop That Lock_ inspired, he said, by the two men he loved best and a bottle of champagne!

Brad was away, busy filming his new web series _Husbands_ with Jane Espenson and sent Tommy regular messages and secret clips from the daily rushes. It looked to be a fantastically funny and innovative creation and he looked forward to seeing the completed mini-shows. Sutan was touring the country with the RuPaul roadshow, also sending messages and pictures from the different venues and having a blast. Isaac was back on the road with his band and enjoying great reviews.

It was a good time for the friends.

As for comfort; Liz had been there on the days when Tommy was down, her warm arms and soft lips offering solace and companionship. Their coffees and writing sessions had gradually become more intimate and whilst he would always love Adam with everything he was, she was fun to be with and they had much in common. It was a relationship which seemed to suit them both… 

…for now.


	5. Chapter 5

“Hey! You awake baby?” Adam whispered into the dark.

“Yeah. How you doin’?”

“Feel like crap!” his voice shook “he’s really gone?”

“’m so sorry babyboy…” Tommy’s arms tightened instinctively as he tugged Adam closer and one hand moved to resume the gentle stroking through his hair.

“I loved him so much…”

“I know…I know…” He pressed a kiss to Adam’s forehead “you’ll get through this…”

“You won’t leave me?”

“ ** _Never!_ **_You’ll always have me, no matter what…yours for infinity remember!_ ” Tommy’s sadly neglected butterflies stirred hopefully.

Adam smothered a whimper and turned onto his side, tangling their legs together as he pressed closer.

“I had so many dreams…”

“You still have those dreams…give it time…”

Adam snorted “When did you get to be so darned smart!”

“Dunno! Guess I learned from the best…never give up on your dreams, always give it everything you are…y’know the stuff!” Tommy chuckled softly “Lambert’s Laws are required reading y’know!”

“Love you, Tommy Joe… _thank you…_ ”

“Always, babyboy, always…” Tommy risked a swift press of his lips to Adam’s “now let’s try and get some sleep.”

Silence reigned as each lay still and feigned sleep, Adam eventually succumbing to exhaustion and the soothing effects of the gentle stroking of his hair.

Tommy listened to his quiet breathing and went back to his trip down memory lane…

Whilst Adam had been writing his new album and collaborating with an impressive list of musical greats, Tommy’d had the time to take stock of the direction his life was going in. There was no doubt in his mind that he’d always be with Adam – as long as Adam still wanted him. The love he had for him still burned brightly, undiminished by time or events or people around them…

He also knew he wanted to make his own music and take up some of the offers to diversify – there were several modelling contracts on offer and a web-based _School Of Rock_ project looked interesting. Working with Pauley and her band had been fun too and there was more of that on the table if he wanted it, plus the chance to get involved in the NOH8 campaign… The future looked rosy…

As the album release date approached, Adam got more and more excited and the two of them took to the road for the promotional mayhem – it was tiring, but wild fun traversing the country to play live acoustic versions of some of the tracks for radio stations across America. Sauli was back in Finland filming his TV roadshow and for Tommy it was almost like old times, just him and Adam cuddling up on Adam’s bed to watch whatever the hotel movie channel was offering.

There were times when Adam and Sauli had _boyfriend_ conversations or skype sessions, but more often than not, the three of them chatted together, sharing the news from their respective days. As always, it was bittersweet but his joy at seeing Adam so happy won the day over the aching heartbreak.

From the acoustic sets came a series of planned radio concerts with the band to be played over the summer, which meant finding a new bass player. Isaac came up trumps with Ashley Dzerigian whom he’d seen at a My Jerusalem gig. After checking out some YouTube clips and playing their albums, Adam gave her a call and set up a meeting. The subsequent jammin’ session reminded Tommy of his own audition and he spent the entire time grinning like the proverbial Cheshire Cat as he played his socks off.

Adam took to Twitter to announce Ashley’s addition to the band and then took them all out for dinner where he shared the news that he’d be headlining the UK Sonisphere music festival in July, once more fronting none other than Queen, as they’d had such a great time at the EMAs in Belfast the previous year. In between that, the album was due out in May, there was the video for _Better than I Know Myself_ , plus numerous television shows lining up to feature the new music…

Isaac said his sad farewells as his own band returned to the road. Tommy hugged him to a pulp and promised to stay in touch. Adam brought in his mate, Rick, to play drums and although he missed Isaac’s wide smile and easy, laid back way, Tommy hit it off with Rick straight away, both sharing the same dry, and somewhat warped, sense of humour. It was a good fit…

Adam had already hooked up with Brian London as his new musical director, having known him from their time together on the Zodiac Show. The man was a genius when it came to taking a studio track and giving it a whole new feel for live performance. He and Adam shared the same vision and Tommy learned so much from sitting in on their sessions and made yet another new friend. It was a whole new world and he loved being a part of it.

When Sonisphere was cancelled, Adam refused to be down, a sentiment apparently echoed by Queen’s legendary Brian May and Roger Taylor who then arranged for them to share the bill with Elton John at the Aids charity benefit in Kiev with an anticipated audience of a quarter of a million…it was an eye-watering prospect. Further Queen dates were added; one in Moscow and another in Poland plus three in London. Adam’s star was on the rise…

Just before the album hit the shops they did a short set for Jimmy Kimmel Live, giving the new band set up a proper workout with a real audience. Adam beamed when they trooped off the stage after playing two encores. It felt right…

When Trespassing was finally released, it spent the entire day at the top of the itunes chart and then debuted at number one on the Billboard 200 chart, making Adam the first openly gay performer to achieve that milestone. The media attention was frenetic and there were days when Tommy retreated into his shell to re-centre, playing on his phone, eating junk food and immersing himself in a blanket of antisocial until he emerged from the chrysalis like a new butterfly, ready to conquer the world.

Adam would hug him tightly, knowing that Tommy needed this time alone. It made Tommy love him more than ever and in those darkest of moments the ever-present reminders that Adam wasn’t his weighed heavy on his soul…

“Okay guys, we gotta new song to learn…” Adam had a glint of mischief in his eyes as he sat on the upturned amp case, looking edible in full scruff mode – battered jeans, faded t-shirt, unlaced boots and beanie hat, completing the look with several days’ growth of beard which had tickled Tommy’s face when they’d shared a welcome home kiss. “Actually, we have several new songs…”

Grinning at them as they leant forward, four pairs of eyes fixed on his freshly tanned face from his hastily arranged trip as Sauli had managed to grab a break in his filming schedule.

“Spill it, fucker!” Tommy rolled his eyes “or we’re going to spank you!”

“Nah! He’d enjoy it too much! Kinky bugger!” Brian threw his empty water bottle at Adam, the others laughing as the bossman wobbled dangerously on his perch as he ducked the missile.

“Settle down children!” Adam’s vibrant smile lit up the bland surroundings of the practice room. “ _We_ are going on a little trip across the water…”

“What?”

“Where?”

“Awesome dude!”

They all spoke at once and Adam laughed delightedly. He loved this band of people…his family…his…

“Oi, Glamily, shut up so I can tell you the whole fucking story!” Planting his hands on his hips, he attempted to look stern…and failed big time as his face split into a massive grin in anticipation of their reactions to his news. Not even Tommy knew about this!

“We have gigs in China, Japan, Australia, South Africa…and I heard this morning that we’re going to be in the Pretty Little Liars’ Halloween special…as _Glampires_! We’re going to be in a TV programme. How fucking cool is that! _And_ we’re back on Idol again…”

A babble of noise broke out as they all started talking excitedly. Adam watched them fondly before reaching across to flick the mic on and as they continued to chatter about the upcoming events he launched into the opening lines of _Stay_ , a favourite Rihanna track.

As his voice rang out pure and clear everyone fell silent. Tommy felt tears prick at the corner of his eyelids and goose bumps ran riot over his skin as that perfect voice owned his soul. _Fuck I love this man…_ Grabbing his phone he recorded the last thirty seconds of the taster Adam gave them, immediately sending the clip to Adam’s phone.

“Awesome, dude, you so gotta tweet that out!”

Adam grinned “you like it then? Think we can work that into our set at some point in the future?”

Enthusiastic affirmatives rang around the room and he laughed, “that’s a keeper then, okay, next…” standing to leave them speechless once more with the first few bars of the Marley classic _Is This Love..._

Rick scrambled to his drums to pick up the beat, the others following suit to produce a killer jam as Adam’s voice soared to new heights and the colourless walls vibrated to the coolest, richest, reggae sound. Happy and breathless, Adam applauded them at the finish, laughing as they lined up to take a bow. “You guys are _nuts…you’re killin’ it today!_ ” He glanced at Tommy “you wanna give that one we were talking about a go?”

The delight in those liquid brown eyes and the smile that spread across Tommy’s face sent a rush of warmth to Adam’s heart and for one brief moment there was no-one in the world but the two of them…gazes locked, heartbeats in tune and they felt so connected and _alive…_

“A clue, dude!” Brian rolled his eyes and ran a quick scale on his keyboard, breaking the spell.

With no words needed, Tommy began the funky rock signature sound of Lenny Kravitz’ _Are you gonna go my way?_ repeating those same opening notes as the others joined in one by one. With his Glamily set, Adam grabbed the mic and belted out the lyrics, rockin’ his mic stand as he sang the soundproofing off the walls.

Tommy slayed his solo, grinning at Adam’s enthusiastic approval and they arched against each other as he drew out the final note of the riff before Adam’s vocals nailed the last chorus. It was a tumultuous climax to an iconic song and everyone was somewhat breathless as the sound died away.

“We are _so_ playing that at the next gig!” Tommy bounced happily at Brian’s affirmative nod and they gathered in a circle on the floor to discuss the setlist for their upcoming shows. Leant back against Adam’s chest as he sat in between his legs, Tommy immersed himself in the delicious warmth of Adam’s body and allowed himself a few moments daydreaming as his butterflies fluttered contentedly on a gentle breeze…

“Tommy Joe?” Adam blew softly on his neck, dragging him from the blissful domestic utopia in his head.

“Huh?”

Adam grinned and nipped his ear “For those not paying attention, I said: Idol, end of the month, we’re gonna do the new single _Never Close our Eyes_ and I want Sutan to sort our outfits – I wanna show them that we fucking rock! Will you take the lead in that…sort it all out with Sutan?”

“You’d trust me to do that? Yeah, dude, that’s awesome!” Tommy zoned out again as he lost himself in possible set ups and themes.

“Hey!” Laughing fondly, Adam slid his hands under Tommy’s arms and squeezed his middle “stay with us! I need everyone’s input on this!” Pressing a kiss to Tommy’s temple, he rested his chin on the blond mop of hair and continued “so, setlist for the radio roadshows agreed, Tommy and Sutan will make us look amazing for Idol and we’re doing _Cuckoo_ and _Trespassing_ for Pretty Little Liars. They’ve given us a provisional date at the beginning of August for the filming so we’ll get together once I get back from London…”

Tommy huffed minutely as Adam made a move to get up to hug everyone goodbye, sighing happily as they waved him down and he sank back into Adam’s arms again. “Brat!” Adam ruffled Tommy’s hair, chuckling as he pressed a kiss to their joined hands. Long minutes passed as they lounged in companionable silence until Adam’s phone bleeped in his pocket and dragged them back to the here and now.

“It’s Sauli…telling us to get our cute little arses home for dinner!” he paused “you _are_ still joining us for dinner right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it! He promised me some of those Runnyberg things…man they’re awesome!” Tommy’s tummy rumbled loudly as if to make his point.

Laughing, Adam gave him a gentle shove “shift yourself Kitty or we’ll have an irate Finn on our butts!” Tommy arched an eyebrow at the dreamy expression that crossed Adam’s face, grinning as their eyes met and Adam’s cheeks turned a fetching shade of pink.

“If you want to delay five minutes and then go home alone!” Tommy snickered “you can have your…” he wiggled his hips playfully against Adam’s thigh.

Adam groaned, his reaction instant and throbbing. Hauling himself to his feet, he grabbed Tommy’s hand and dragged him towards the door. “You’re such a bad wench!” His expression softened and he stopped suddenly, folding Tommy into a tight hug “thank you, baby…”

“Whatever it is I’ve done, you’re welcome!” Tommy mumbled into Adam’s chest, attempting, unsuccessfully, to avoid swooning at the total invasion of all his senses by everything _Adam._

“Being there for me, for welcoming and supporting Sauli…for _everything…_ ” his voice hushed “I think he’s _the one…_ ”

“The One? You mean marriage? The works?” A multitude of conflicting emotions crashed over Tommy like a tidal wave _fuckfuckfuck_

Adam’s whispered “ _yes_ ” sent his resident butterflies plummeting to the soles of his boots and he bit down hard on his lip to stifle the protestations of unfairness, his head fighting a running battle with his heart _that should be me…you should’ve waited…he’s happy; if you love him then be happy for him…but I want more than his friendship…fucker…I like Sauli…fuckshitbugger…_

Tommy clung to Adam for a moment before steeling himself and pulling back. There was no denying that look in Adam’s eyes… _love…_ complete,total and utter devotion to the tiny blond Finn he was picturing, a tiny smile curving the corners of his beautiful mouth and the telltale glistening of happy tears in those crystal blue depths… _fuck…_

“’m made up for you babyboy…” Tommy’s insides twisted unhappily but he couldn’t deny Adam this… _he couldn’t deny Adam anything…ever…_ He chewed on his thumb nail “You sure you still want me for dinner? If you’d rather…”

“I’m not proposing tonight! Or tomorrow, or next week!” Adam laughed and pulled Tommy back into his arms “I’m just enjoying the domestic life and being loved and in love. The rest of the game plan can wait – we’ve got a lifetime to share… He squeezed Tommy hard “and Sauli _really_ wouldn’t forgive me if I let you slip away!”

Forcing a grin, Tommy pressed a brief kiss to the corner of Adam’s mouth and wriggled out of his arms. “Let’s go then…I’m starving!” He skipped to the door “race you to the car fucker!” laughter floating back as Adam gave chase.

The evening was full of good food and the fondness that comes from satisfying close bonds of love and friendship. Tommy found himself watching Adam and Sauli as they moved around their home, fingers brushing lightly as they passed each other plates and kitchen utensils as they dished up the dinner. He noted the shared glances, micro smiles and the way their bodies instinctively arched together when they shared the same space, like some graceful and unconscious dance…it was both beautiful and heart wrenching and when he finally crawled into his cold and lonely bed, it replayed through his head on slow repeat, hammering home the reality that Adam was truly Sauli’s.

It was a long, dark, sleepless night and Tommy had never been so pleased to see the feeble sunrise…

With no band practice that day, he’d arranged to meet up with Sutan for breakfast to discuss the costumes and theme for their Idol performance. After a quick shower and a gulped glass of juice, he took off before Mike could question him…Mike _always_ knew when something was bothering him.

As Sutan opened the door, Tommy flung himself into the other man’s arms, buried his face into his neck and wrapped his legs around Sutan’s trim hips. “Vayvee?” Sutan staggered backwards under the impact, tightening his hold instinctively as he headed into the sitting room to ease his clinging limpet down onto the sofa. Safely landed, Sutan sank down next to him and curled his arms back around an obviously despondent Tommy.

Carding his fingers soothingly through Tommy’s long blond bangs, Sutan waited, knowing  he’d start when he was ready. Long minutes passed until finally “ _Adam_ … _he…he’s…_ ” the low whisper so laden with hurt Sutan winced and tugged Tommy closer.

“Adam..?” the prompt was gentle and drew a tiny whimper from trembling lips.

“ _Adam’s…fuck…he’s…_ ” Tommy turned haunted eyes to lock with Sutan’s, pleading with him to guess without him having to actually say the words.

“He’s hurt you?” Sutan’s eyebrows drew together, his hands folding over Tommy’s “Adam wouldn’t deliberately do anything to hurt you, Vayvee…he loves you…”

A sudden sob burst the frail façade and the tears rolled unchecked down Tommy’s cheeks. “Not enough! He’s getting married…he says Sauli’s the one…the one he loves enough to marry…to spend his life with… _it hurts…fucking hurts so much…it should be me…_ ”

Hauling his distraught friend into his lap, Sutan rocked them gently, rubbing soothing circles on Tommy’s back as he cried his broken heart out to soak into the fabric of Sutan’s t-shirt. Snuffling and hiccoughing as his sobs died away, Tommy lifted his head to reveal red swollen eyes, and a mass of smeared mascara. He attempted a smile…and almost made it “sorry! I made your shirt all wet”

Relieved, Sutan kissed his forehead “that’s what life partners are for – to provide suitably soft and absorbent shoulders to cry on!” He used the hem of his shirt to dry Tommy’s wet cheeks. “You want to talk about it?”

Tommy shook his head “not right now…hurts too much” he gave a twisted grin “but I am happy for him…and I really like Sauli…they’re good together…” he bit his lip as fresh tears threatened to fall. “And he hasn’t proposed yet, he says there’s no hurry…” his voice hitched “they’ve got a lifetime to share…”

Sniffing loudly, Tommy slid off Sutan’s lap and headed for the bathroom. Sighing softly, Sutan considered texting Adam, dismissing the idea as Tommy returned, his face washed clean and, aside from the obvious signs of his insomnia, looking much more like himself.

Holding out his hands, Tommy pulled Sutan off the sofa and propelled him towards his kitchen. “Now I’ve cried all over you, you need to feed and water me!” He squeezed their entwined fingers “thank you, boo, I really fucking needed to let all that out…sorry I’m such a fucking sap…”

Sutan swatted his arse fondly “how ‘bout I change my top and we grab breakfast at Nickel Diner…I think you need a double serving of maple bacon doughnuts and cinnamon coffee!”

“Fuck, yeah!” Tommy’s tummy gurgled in appreciation of the thought.       

Over breakfast they discussed the upcoming appearance on Idol. “It needs to be big…” Sutan tapped his finger thoughtfully against his coffee mug “and I don’t mean feathers and glitter _theatrical_ big. He needs to show them he’s evolved – this is a chance to showcase everything he’s accomplished since leaving Idol… He grinned at Tommy who was following every word intently. “What was the layout you were thinking of?”

“That oval screen behind the performers is perfect for this song – I’m thinking we fill it with a close up of an eye…one of Adam’s eyes and some heartbeat traces in the chorus, then a close up of the album at the end after it’s started as a tiny image in the pupil and then gets bigger…” Tommy paused breathlessly, his hands stilling from their wild gesticulating. “Whataya think?”

“Clever…I like it…creative imagery, bold…” Rummaging in his jacket pocket Sutan produced a pencil and dragged a paper napkin towards him, sketching the outline of a figure to which he then added jacket, trousers and boots, detailing the hair and half-gloves and a mic stand…unmistakeably _Adam._ He chuckled at Tommy’s awed expression.

“That’s fucking brilliant!”

“It’s my job, honey! I design…therefore I draw!”

As the server topped up their mugs, Tommy swiped a handful of napkins from her tray and grinned at Sutan. “More!”

“So, with a bold set, we need simple and sophisticated outfits… _classy, heavy on the details…_ ” He sketched another outline, adding long bangs over one eye before glancing up to see Tommy’s eyes fixed on the napkin. “I see Adam in a silver grey textured fitted jacket, darker panels to add interest and leather trousers. A simple vest, no necklace… I see _you_ in black jeans, a button-up top, black of course, and a black leather jacket. We’ll add some tiny squares of colour above the jacket pocket flaps to co-ordinate with Adam’s vest…” The pencil added detail swiftly, finishing with the addition of a guitar in one hand.

“Yellow! The colour blocks need to be yellow to match the Trespassing colour scheme! This is fucking awesome boo!” Tommy dragged his chair closer “now do Ashley!”

By the time they’d finished their third mug of coffee, Ashley had smoky grey leggings, black hotpants, yellow strapless top, black bra and her trademark killer heels in black, matching black ear rings and bracelet; Rick had black jeans, black top with yellow blocks on the sleeves and Brian had a black top with yellow blocks above the breast pocket and his trademark black sunglasses. Adding yellow nail varnish for everyone and some yellow ear rings for Adam gave it the finishing touch and a completely co-ordinated yet individualised ensemble.

Sutan gathered up their impromptu mini works of art and folded them carefully into his pocket. “Now we get going to make it happen…” After making a few calls, Sutan nodded and stood up. “Let’s get this show on the road, Vayvee!”

The day flew by, meetings with an assortment of different people who would turn their plans into reality. Adam would still have the final veto, but everything was set to run as soon as they had the nod of approval. A swift text to set up a briefing time came back with a simple    ** _I trust you…do it! A_**  without asking for any details. Tommy and Sutan grinned at each other and hit the _play_ button…

Three days later they unveiled the designs, both nervous and excited for the reactions. Tommy had spent several hours…okay _multiple_ blocks of several hours, gazing at pictures and video footage of Adam for the perfect eye shot. Mike had caught him jerking off twice and banned him from the sofa until he’d found whatever it was he was looking for!

Adam’s smile and the bone-crushing hugs told them without words that they’d nailed it, followed by the immediate disrobing as everyone scrambled to try on their outfits. Ashley smoothed her top down and did a slow pirouette, giggling at the wolf whistles from Brian and Rick.

Sutan clapped happily as she tip-tapped over to him in the multi-buttoned ankle boots he’d chosen for her.

“How’d you know my size?”

“Honey, I’m a _Queen_ , I _know_ _everything_ about size…”

Adam spluttered hysterically and sank down on boneless legs, helpless laughter and hand gestures adding to the hilarity of the alternate interpretation of those innocent words.

Realising what he’d said, Sutan wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes and slid down the wall to collapse on the floor next to Adam.

“I should bitch slap you for disrespecting Raja’s talents!”

Grinning, Adam nodded, “you should, but you won’t! I’ve seen the _size_ we’re talking about…” He bumped Sutan’s shoulder affectionately “some things just aren’t meant to be shared at band practice!”

An arched eyebrow that was definitely more Raja than Sutan set Adam off giggling again and he leant into the warmth of the other man’s body as they watched the others parading an imaginary runway.

“Thank you” Adam’s tone was heartfelt “I love what you’ve both done here…” He rested his head on Sutan’s shoulder “I’m just so happy right now…new music, new challenges, new opportunities and all the people I love best to share it with…” Adam sighed happily, allowing Tommy to pull him to his feet as everyone insisted he take a turn modelling his outfit.

Fashion parade completed, they slayed a dress rehearsal performance of the song, the walls reverberating to the perfect sound of _Never Close Our Eyes_ for their audience of one, Sutan nodding approvingly at the overall look. They were gonna rock the pants off Idol…

Three days before the Idol performance, they appeared on Good Morning America, welcomed back like old friends, which Tommy found particularly pleasing considering the crappy way they’d treated Adam after the AMAs… After a cracking rendition of the new single Adam made an impromptu guest spot appearance co-presenting their entertainment round up ‘Pop News’ - much to the delight of the hoards of fans gathered outside the GMA massive glass windows, who screamed at full volume every time the camera swung back to Adam.

Once Adam had signed a stack of albums for the programme to give away, they packed up their gear and split, each going their separate ways for a couple of days of well deserved down time. Tommy headed home alone, declining Adam’s invitation to spend time with himself and Sauli. Sometimes, despite the very real friendship he and the tiny Finn had developed, it was just too much seeing them so happy together. Right now was one of those times and he just needed to lick his wounds in woeful solitude…

 After dumping his guitar in his room, Tommy flopped on the sofa with a bag of Doritos, a bottle of beer and his laptop – a perfectly balanced breakfast with social media for company. Twitter was quiet and there was nothing even worth retweeting; Instagram was less than enthralling too - maybe it was him and nothing was going to grab his attention today…

Another click landed him on his Facebook page. He loved his page and the interactions with his fans who gave him so much love and encouragement, even when he didn’t always update or answer. He scrolled through the various posts of pictures, videos, poems and messages, answering a few and clicking a _like_ on others. A smile crept over his face and his spirits lifted as new messages began appearing, showering down like confetti as word spread that he was online. He really loved his fans.

Answering some new questions he took a swig from his beer and hit _refresh._

_Her…fuck…_

For all his amazing and loyal supporters, there were always going to be a tiny few who spouted hate and prejudice…the trolls… It came with the territory of being guitarist for the hottest, most talented and genuinely awesome man on the planet. Most of them he could dismiss without a thought…

But one seemed to have a way of getting under his skin and no matter how much outrage she…he assumed it was a she…caused from his legion of fans, it never seemed to make a difference. She could be suspended, banned, barred, disconnected, blocked…she just came back with a new account and more putrid, loathsome drivel…

_Ha, Tommy shitface! Now he’s got Sauli he doesn’t want a lowlife like you around him any more. You’re such a pathetic loser!_

_You don’t get to go places with him now he’s found something better looking._

_His boyfriend is so much better than you - hot, sexy, talented – everything that you’re not._

_Do the world a favour and kill yourself – save Adam and us the suffering of your crappy guitar playing._

His finger automatically hit the _report_ link and he filled in the required information on the screen as her words burned on repeat in his head. She was right; Adam no longer asked him to go with him to red carpet events, or industry events or even just concerts by other artists…now he took Sauli and everyone _awwwed_ over the way he was so obviously protective of his tiny blond partner.

It hurt.

It fucking hurt like hell.

 _Fuck! He didn’t even like those red carpet things…_ He only went because _Adam_ asked him to…Adam wanted him as his _plus one…_ even if he did lurk in the shadows when the cameras were rolling…

Shoving his laptop away from him roughly, Tommy drained his beer and stretched out on the sofa, legs crossed at the ankles and one arm bent behind him as he lay half on his side and glared moodily at the ceiling. It was going to be a long day… _fuck…_

His phone buzzed in his pocket, interrupting his melancholy musings. He answered it without looking at the caller id.

“Yeah!” it wasn’t the most inviting of tones, but actually he didn’t give one right now.

“Tommy? It’s Alla…” she paused “is this a bad time?”

Frowning, Tommy forced a relatively cheerful smile on his face and attempted to buy into the mood “Nah, you’re good! What can I do for you, my beautiful Allison?”

A gentle chuckle in his ear effectively gave his grin a genuine edge. “We’ve just picked up a last minute gig tonight over at Solli’s…wondered if you fancied playing? I asked Liz but she said she hasn’t spoken to you this week…” her voice trailed away, the unspoken question hanging in the air.

“We’ve been rehearsing like shit and I’ve been sorting the outfits and set up for Idol for Adam – huge responsibility and really wanna rock it so been crazy busy…just not had a second to breathe!” Tommy gabbled at top speed, not quite sure why he felt so guilty at the gently implied neglect…although the sudden tightening in his trousers as his brain helpfully provided a reminder of multiple lengthy _research_ sessions for the perfect eye shot may have had something to do with it!

Allison gave an audible sigh of relief “so you guys are okay? Good! Liz is playing too and it’ll be awesome to have our little jam group together on stage...”

“We’re cool…”

“You make a great couple TJ! See ya at five for quick run through before we head out.” She hung up without waiting for a reply which was just as well as Tommy was too busy mulling over her words to respond _you make a great couple…_ He hadn’t really considered that they were dating… _do I want that? A couple…like Adam and Sauli…_

His phone rang again “Hill!”

“TJ!” Liz chuckled “I take it you’ve spoken to Alla?”

“Yeah, you picking me up?”

“Be there in sixty…and you’re buying the lunch!” laughing, she rang off.

Tommy grinned and ambled into his room to sort out a change of clothes. Maybe it wasn’t so bad being in a couple with Liz; she was good company, a badass bass player and she had a sick sense of humour like his own…

Over lunch they discussed the likely setlist and Liz shuddered at his choice of t-shirt for the gig, insisting they go shopping for something more suitable. Rolling his eyes, Tommy sorted out the cash for their lunch, added a decent tip and allowed himself to be pulled out of his seat. Sliding her fingers through Tommy’s, Liz led him away like a man going to his demise…

Actually, it turned out to be quite fun and Tommy was pleasantly surprised when he ended up with a classy button-through, in his custom black of course, which looked and felt amazing. Then with time to kill they hit the music store, exploring the bargain cds for likely inspiration and tracks to cover. Finally they grabbed a coffee before heading to Allison’s for band practice.

They had an eight song set, plus one encore. Allison ran through the choices she’d made and they swung into rehearsal. The two original songs were blues/rock and suited Allison’s style perfectly. Along with the covers she’d selected it was a cracking setlist and they were buzzing when they arrived at the venue to unpack their gear.

The club was filling up and there was a good vibe as they did a quick soundcheck. They would be the first of three bands playing; their job to get everyone pumped up for a good time. The crowd were politely enthusiastic when they were announced, the noise levels barely dimming as they took to the stage. Allison glanced around and nodded and they launched into _Riders on the Storm_ , her vocals nailing every note.

With the crowd warming up they swung into _Free Me_ and followed that with _Standing Tall,_ the first of Allison’s original tracks. Tommy was shredding some riffs at the front of the stage when he looked up to see Adam’s eyes fixed on him _fuck he had to come…_ Moving back to take his place behind Allison, Tommy couldn’t take his eyes off Adam.

Adam had his arms around Sauli as he stood behind him and the two were moving in time with each other and the beat. As Tommy watched, Adam tipped Sauli’s face up to his own and kissed him softly… It hurt like fucking hell to see, but made him happy at the same time _Adam was happy so Tommy was happy…wasn’t he?_

The moody _You don’t own me_ was a perfect platform for his angst and he let it all out in the music, that song followed by Allison’s second self-penned and highly appropriate _He’s not mine_ …

The crowd were totally with them now, cheering wildly as they moved on to soft rock anthem _Black Velvet_. Tommy let it fly in his solo as Allison absolutely nailed the mood for Heart’s classic _Alone_ , before rocking their final song _Any way you want it_ to thunderous applause.

Allison thanked her band and the audience and they trooped off the stage, buoyant and charged with energy.

“You slayed that solo, TJ!” Liz aimed a friendly punch at Tommy’s shoulder, stumbling forward when he leant back and her hand missed contact by mere inches. Laughing, Tommy caught her before she landed on her arse and she swung into his arms. The collision of their warm bodies drew startled intakes of breath from them both and before Tommy could move away Liz surged forward and captured his lips, kissing him sweetly as she tangled her fingers in his hair.

“That’s my pretty kitty!” Adam’s voice behind them had Tommy pulling away from Liz, biting down on his bottom lip as he coloured unwillingly. Adam laughed and ruffled his hair “don’t stop on my account!” He tugged on Sauli’s hand, clasped casually in his own, and headed across to where Allison was gulping thirstily on a bottle of water.

Squealing excitedly, she fell into his arms for a hug as he spun her off her feet. “You killed it, Alla!”

Tommy watched, his jealous goblins stabbing at him relentlessly as Adam released Allison and draped his arm back around Sauli’s shoulders…just like he used to do with Tommy…

The stage manager stuck his head around the corner, calling them back for their encore. Allison held her hand out to Adam “wanna come for a _Slow Ride_ like back in our Idol days?”

Laughing delightedly, Adam linked their fingers and followed her.

Tommy grinned at Liz “the crowd’re gonna wet their pants when they see him out there! Fuck yeah!” he took the extra microphone from the stage hand and they joined the others on stage.

Sauli watched from the wings as they rocked the song, the decibel level raising the roof as they took their final bows and scampered off laughing, their brief well and truly met!

After stowing their gear, they joined Adam at his table in the VIP area. Beckoning Tommy to help him with the drinks, Adam headed for the bar. “Sick tunes tonight, Glitterbaby, and that solo in _Alone_ was just…” he shook his head “you blew me away! We have to try that one next jam session, you and me…” Pausing to give their order to the bartender, he pressed a swift kiss to Tommy’s lips, smiling contentedly “…and I’m happy you and Liz got it together…you’re way too hot to be single!”

Forcing a grimace into a grin as his butterflies sulked in a huddle, Tommy nodded mutely, his brain apparently incapable of formulating a coherent sentence right now.

With drinks procured and handed around, they settled back for a fun evening, parting in the early hours all somewhat worse for wear as they fell into taxis for the trip home.

Tommy woke in a strange bed, stark naked, his arms around a shapely warm figure…

“Morning Tommy!”

“Liz…” _fuckfuckfuck_


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For dancerjb  
> Our friends are always there for us, sharing the joy of the good times and making the dark times easier to bear...  
> Hang in there bb xxx

Those first moments were awkward as Tommy’s head unhelpfully replayed, for comparison, all those times he’d woken up beside Adam, his gorgeous blue eyes gazing deep into Tommy’s soul…  He froze as Liz moved in closer, panic initiating a sudden cascade random flailing of limbs as he shuffled backwards and smacked his head on the edge of the bedside cabinet.

“ _Fuck_!” Fortunately that one word covered all pain sensations and emotional terror in one easy package.

The tension was broken as Liz giggled, attempting to fix an expression of concern on her face.

Tommy sat up and rubbed the back of his head “ouch!” He grinned ruefully “my hangover didn’t like that!”

“You want coffee?” Liz reached for her wrap and slipped into it.

“Please…make it strong!”

Miming a full chord, their in-joke, Liz smiled and left Tommy alone as she padded barefoot to the kitchen.

Grimacing as his head protested, Tommy groped in the furred-up recesses of his memory for some clues as to the final events from the previous night. Had they now taken that final step…that step he’d been studiously avoiding because it made him feel as though he was betraying Adam? _Fuck it Ratliff, Adam’s with Sauli…_

The bedroom door was pushed open and Liz reappeared with a laden tray of giant mugs of steaming coffee, a heaped plate of hot buttered toast and an economy size tub of Aspirin.

She perched on the edge of the bed and set the tray down between them. Tommy cracked open the painkillers and tipped three into his hand, swallowing them quickly with a mouthful of scalding coffee.

“How’s your memory?” Liz sipped her coffee, her eyes avoiding Tommy’s.

“Crap! Blank after the last round of Tequila at the club! Yours?”

“Mostly ditto! I remember arriving home and we started stripping each other like it was some Olympic time trial event…” she coloured prettily “…but I think we fell asleep before…I mean we didn’t…”

Leaning over the tray, Tommy curled a hand in the silky fabric of her wrap and pulled her closer, capturing her lips in a gentle kiss. “We’re cool, Hill!” he chuckled “and I’m glad, because I want to be sober enough to remember our first time…”

Liz’s hand stroked his cheek softly “I guess we’re dating then?” She kissed his affirmative firmly out of his mouth and they settled back to crunch their way through the toast before showering and dressing.

As they discussed the previous night’s gig, note by note, track by track, Tommy’s butterflies flopped into their armchairs and settled in front of the TV…comfortable, sans fireworks was _a-la-mode…_

After a drive out to see to Liz’s horse and a grabbed sandwich at lunch, they finally had a chance to catch up on the whole social media whirl. Twitter was alive with pictures and comments about Adam’s impromptu appearance for the _Slow Ride_ encore but there were plenty of really positive reports about the rest of Allison’s set, Tommy also getting numerous mentions in dispatches with the tagline _best known as Adam Lambert’s guitarist, Tommy Joe Ratliff…_

The general consensus from all the different reviews was good and the vibe was that Allison was a performer to keep an eye on for the future.

They called in at Tommy’s so he could change his clothes and headed out to Alla’s as planned for the après-gig dinner.

After an enjoyable evening, Tommy took Liz home and kissed her softly on her doorstep before accepting her invitation to come in for coffee. They didn’t bother with the coffee.

He was totally in control as he took her hand and led her to her bedroom…

_He would always love Adam, but it was time to move on…_

The following morning saw him back at the practice rooms for their final run through before Idol that night. It was flawless and everyone was in high spirits and looking forward to the performance.

As always, the atmosphere behind the scenes on Idol was a strange mix of hyper energy, micro-managed control and thinly veiled hysteria - depending on your role! Seeing Adam so obviously happy to be back, put a sappily contented expression on Tommy’s face, which the others inaccurately attributed to his next-stage relationship with Liz. Tommy didn’t correct them and wallowed unhindered in his gazing at Adam’s dancing eyes and non-stop smile.

The studio rocked to the sound of _Never Close Our Eyes_ and the audience screamed themselves hoarse, the performance earning an appreciative standing ovation from the judges and finalists. It was surreal and they were all buzzing as they took their leave of the stage.

That night, Liz helped Tommy dye his hair, telling her that he wanted to mark the change of his role from bass to lead guitar before the roadshow events, this explanation only part of the reason… _this is me as Adam’s best friend…_

_…not a cute, blond, totally-his-type potential boyfriend…_

_…romantic dreams boxed up and put away…_

_…a new beginning on so many levels…_

_…who the fuck was he trying to kid?_  

With no chance to catch their breath, they were back at the practice room early the following morning for the run-through for _Fantabuloso_ ; the first in the series of concerts that would see them off to Chicago by the afternoon.

“What’s with the hat, Glitterbaby?” Adam dragged Tommy into his arms and nuzzled his neck.

Attempting a nonchalant shrug as his senses were overwhelmed with everything _Adam_ , Tommy failed miserably as he couldn’t stop the laughter bubbling at the thought of Adam’s reaction. “It’s cold out!”

Adam frowned “are you okay? I don’t want you getting ill…” Concern flooded his face, intensifying as Tommy’s shoulders shook. He tipped Tommy’s face up to examine it for signs of insomnia that might have been hidden under clever make up. He _knew_ Tommy so well! However, nothing but beautiful bare skin, without a scrap of make up, met his scrutiny.

“’m fine babyboy, really! Why don’t you take the hat off if it’s worrying you…” Tommy tilted his head, a smile curving his perfect mouth.

The playful twinkle in those huge brown eyes sent a surge of warmth to Adam’s tummy and he folded Tommy back into a tight hug before pulling the very un-Tommy-like woolen hat off his head with a sharp tug.

“Oh fuck that’s pink!”  Adam released him and stepped back as Tommy grinned and shook his head wildly, flipping his hair back off his face before combing through it roughly with his fingers to coax it into his usual style.

“You like?”

“Baby, it’s fucking _gorgeous!_ Let me take a picture…I _have_ to show Sauli!”

Glancing up shyly through his cotton candy pink locks, Tommy smiled as Adam snapped several pictures on his phone, sending them whizzing through cyber-space to Sauli with the caption _My very pretty kitty!_

“Can I tweet it?”

 Tommy shrugged, “if you want, it’s no big deal!”

“Have you messaged Sutan and Brad? Does Liz know?” Adam looked around at the rest of the band “did you guys know?”

“Liz helped me colour it, I sent Brad and Sutan a message last night and no, the others didn’t know – mainly because it was a spur-of-the-minute decision…”

“Oh!” Adam looked crestfallen “you didn’t message me…”

“I wanted to surprise you!” _and you’re the reason I did it in the first place…thinking about you was hard enough – talking would’ve been torture…especially if you’d asked me why…_

The smile returned to Adam’s face and he folded Tommy back into a hug, holding him close as he stroked one hand through the newly coloured hair. “You’re always surprising me baby…” the soft whisper against his ear as he was released sending a delicious shiver down his spine.

Stepping back, Adam surveyed Tommy, his head tilted thoughtfully.

“What?” Tommy blushed under the intense scrutiny. He hid behind his bangs, biting on his bottom lip.

“Still trying to work you out, Tommy Joe…”

Digging deep to drag a believable grin to his face, Tommy flipped him off and moved across to pick up his guitar. “’s a lifetime’s work, babyboy! We playin’ or what?” Nodding at Brian, the band launched into the opening bars of _Trespassing._

“Bossy fucker!” Adam laughed and reached for his mic.

Rehearsal flew by, a few minor alterations to the set and arrangements and they broke for a laughter-filled late lunch before heading home to change and collect their travel bags. Fantabuloso beckoned.

Adam hadn’t tweeted Tommy’s new hair picture in the end, so it was a surprise to the fans and they screamed themselves hoarse when the band took to the stage, rocking straight into _Trespassing_. All too soon they were on to _Cuckoo_ and their set was over. Buoyed by the love and energy flowing from the crowd, they felt they could play on and on… _it’s not much of a life you’re living…_

Chicago was followed by Boston and New Jersey, on to Philadelphia for the Springle Ball, then Wilkes Barre and Agawam. From there they hit San Francisco and then Freshtival in DC. He and Adam slipped back into their free and easy interactions which had somehow evolved to grow along with the music, more mature and totally respecting of Adam and Sauli’s relationship when they were up there on stage. Kissing was out but that didn’t stop Tommy’s lips from tingling at the memories whenever he and Adam went back to back!

Freshtival was one of Tommy’s favourite performances from the roadshow. Set against the backdrop of the harbour, it’d been the hottest day so far and they were melting out under the evening sun. Adam had elected to wear shorts, a ‘first’ as he pointed out to the excited crowd, joking with them about outdoor air conditioning...

As they all removed layers in a vain attempt to stay cool, Tommy couldn’t help but gaze at the expanse of gorgeous freckled skin as Adam danced and owned the stage in front of him…skin that glistened with the sheen of sweat and sent all sorts of delightful suggestions to his molten brain…

Biting his lip as he contrived to control his wayward thoughts, Tommy stretched between numbers, blushing fiercely as he caught Adam staring at him, the look raw and hungry… _fuckfuckfuck_ Tommy’s heated blood supply surged southwards and he hid the throbbing response behind his guitar.

The connection was electric and both poured it into their performance, sharing hot glances and even drinking from the same glass. Tommy’s fragile barriers crumbled once again… _it’s not just something you take; it’s given…_

As they staggered off the stage to share a wet and sticky group hug, both unconsciously avoided body contact before hitting the showers.

Being back on the road with Adam was everything Tommy wanted from life. The highs were unbelievable and the vibe and camaraderie mind-blowing and Tommy immersed himself in living every second. He never wanted it to end.

Waking in his own bed in his all too quiet apartment on the first of June was a huge anti-climax after the frantic adrenalin-fuelled roller-coaster ride of the past two weeks and a wave of despair washed over him as he realised he wouldn’t be seeing Adam for a month _fuck it Ratliff, you’re over this…_

Gasping his release under the steaming spray he had to concede failure; pink hair, new mindset, new girlfriend and the best of intentions…he’d never be over Adam… _round and around and around and around we go…_

 Ignoring his phone as Liz’s face flashed up on the screen, he grabbed a can of soda, a bag of chips and flopped onto the sofa. Today was officially written off. He pressed play on the DVD and lost himself in the opening strains of _War Wagon._ In this mood he needed the Duke…

After two movies and a barrel load of junk food  he was caught between seriously morose and mega pissed off…pissed off that Adam still had this effect on him and he was undeniably jealous that Sauli was with Adam in the UK for the duration of the trip… _fuck…_

As his phone rang for the umpteenth time that day he jabbed at it moodily, intending to reject the caller, whoever the fuck it was. Regrettably, he missed and answered it instead. “Fuck!”

“TJ?”

“Yeah!” his disgruntled tone didn’t invite discussion and nowhere near covered how fucking cross he was with himself at his screw up.

“You okay baby? You don’t sound like yourself…”

Liz’s use of one of Adam’s pet names for him only served to piss Tommy off further. “’m fine! Don’t call me ‘baby’” he snapped at her irritably.

“What? _Adam_ calls you _baby_ all the time…” Liz bit back, her concern rapidly morphing into anger.

“So what if he does! Just don’t _you_ do it!” _It’s Adam’s and mine…_

“So what crawled up your arse and died to make you such a moody little shit?”

“Just leave me the fuck alone!” Tommy cut her off and hurled his phone across the room. Staring at the now dark TV screen he cursed at the mental replay of the brief, but all too bitter, conversation. _Fuck! Adam_ wouldn’t have attacked him like that… _Adam_ knew that he needed time to just be alone… Liz just didn’t get him like _Adam_ did…

_But Adam’s not here…he’s on his way to London with his boyfriend…the boyfriend he wants to marry…_

_Fuck!_

Sighing heavily, he pushed off the sofa and retrieved his phone from under the coffee table. Taking a deep breath he pressed _call_ and prepared to eat humble pie.

“Hi”

“TJ” the letters clipped and hostile.

“I’m sorry I was a shit”

“A _moody little_ shit, full title please!” Liz was understandably not happy with him.

“I’m sorry I was such a moody little shit!” he sighed “I’m just…it’s just that…”

“I know you’re missing him…umm, them all, after the excitement of the road” she paused, choosing her words carefully “and it’s all just a bit too quiet and mundane. It takes a while to settle again…”

 “Yeah…” Tommy grimaced as Liz displayed all the signs of understanding him. He’d done her serious injustice. “I really am sorry I took it out on you…”

“I know” she paused “what are you doing right now?”

“Nothing…John Wayne movie marathon, junk food…ignoring phone calls…pissing off my friends…” _fuck! Should’ve said ‘girlfriend’_

If Liz was bothered, she didn’t mention the lack of the word. “I’ll pick you up in ten! Wear old clothes!” she hung up without giving any clues as to what they’d be doing or giving him the chance to protest.

Tommy stared at his phone with his mouth open, debating whether or not to call her back and try and wriggle his way out of whatever it was she had planned without blotting his copybook any more than he had already. As his weary synapses wrestled with the options, the screen lit up with a text.

**_We’ve made it to London. Missing you baby. Sauli sends his love. Remember no brooding! Get out there and enjoy yourself. A_ **

A sappy smile chased across his face. Adam had texted him. Adam was missing him…

He was still grinning when Liz arrived…

When his head finally hit the pillow that night he’d made peace with the world once more. Liz had taken him horse riding and they’d shared a picnic in the hills overlooking the city in the distance. It had been surprisingly liberating…

The next few days were full of music and activity as they continued their jam sessions with Alla and Liz determined to keep him from falling into that dark place that beckoned less with every passing hour. They went riding again, Liz presenting him with a cowboy hat and neckerchief that the Duke himself would’ve been proud to wear!

As the evenings fell, she took him to gigs for local bands, introducing him to so many new people his head swam with the effort of trying to remember so many names…

Each night she took him home to impart sweet and tender and thorough loving until he fell asleep in her arms.

Adam had sent him updates, photos and messages daily, one of his favourites being the pictures he and Sauli had taken in a red phone box – images so quintessentially British Tommy immediately earmarked them for enlarging and framing on his wall…

He felt good.

It wasn’t until he went to check out Adam’s _4 Music_ interview at the end of the week, that he ventured back onto social media. His Facebook was awash with hate – some directed at him, nothing unusual there – but it was the fan against fan, cruel and bitter attacks which took him by unhappy surprise. After scrolling through the masses of posts he moved on to Twitter.

 _What the fuck?_ He read the hate-filled exchanges in horror.

_Why is a beautiful lady like you even bothering with shitty talentless arsehole like runty Ratliff? And an Adam Lambert castoff to boot? #wtf_

_You know he’s gay right? #Lambertsleftovers #talentless #arseholelover Time to dump the fuckwit Liz #seethelight_

_You know Ratliff took it up the arse before he screwed you #getcheckedout you don’t want gay cooties from that lump of crap #dumphim_

There were dozens of them. His army of fans had responded fiercely, leaping to his defence, attacking the attacker and urging others to report and block.

One post caught his eye. It was a retweet of a reply from Liz. _Back off troll. Tommy is a sweet and talented man, a loyal friend and absolutely NOT gay. Go and get a life #block #report_

Tommy sucked a breath in _shitfuckshit_ Following the trail backwards, he read Liz’s incensed replies, repeating over and over that he was straight and they should leave him alone.

_What if Adam’s read these? Fuck!_

His blood ran cold. Clicking close, he shut Twitter down, pushing the irrational anger aside as he tuned into the radio. _Never respond to the trolls…it was an unwritten rule…_ and now Liz had broken it. Broken it and announced again and again that he was straight. _Straight? Not straight?_ The answer replayed itself from his discussions with Brad…

_Flexible…and only for Adam…_

As he listened to Adam’s interview, the nagging irritation at Liz grew, simmering slowly until it was a crescendo of barely contained fury and when she arrived to pick him up for their date he was ready to blow.

Liz raised an eyebrow when he avoided her welcoming kiss, crossing his arms and moving back into the apartment. “Another strop on the cards?” she asked mildly.

“Twitter!”

“What about it? You’re making no sense!” Liz frowned and reached towards him, her frown deepening when he once more moved out of range.

“Discussing my sexual preferences in the public arena… _with a fucking troll_ of all people! You _never ever_ respond to those fuckers and even more than that, not about someone else…”

“I was defending you…” Liz was pissed now, shouting back in his face

“I fight my own fucking battles…” Tommy spat angrily “I don’t need some little girl to stand up for me…”

“ _Some little girl?”_ Liz’s voice rose “I’m supposed to be your girlfriend! And I didn’t see you defending yourself…”

“Because you _don’t_ reply to trolls…that only gives them what they want…” They screamed at each other, all gloves off now.

“But I’m your…”

“My nothing! We‘re over! Done! Finished!”

“TJ…”

“You don’t speak for me… _no-one_ speaks for me…”

“But…”

“Please leave…” Tommy fixed his eyes on the floor and jammed his hands in his pockets, his voice dropping to a whisper.

Liz grabbed his sleeve, tears running down her cheeks, “no, TJ…no, please…we can fix this…”

“Just go…”

“ _Please TJ…_ ”

“Go…"

 An uncomfortable silence fell, broken only by Liz’s sobs. Tommy kept his eyes firmly on his feet, looking up only when he heard the door shut and he was alone once more. Now, and only now, did he allow his own tears to fall. _Fuck!_

By the time Mike and Tanya arrived home, Tommy had passed out on the sofa, the empty bottle of Jack by his side. Grimacing, Mike settled him more comfortably and threw a blanket over him. Tommy was going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning...

A steaming mug of freshly brewed coffee wafting under his nose, dragged Tommy from a torrid nightmare where Adam was kissing his way down a long line of hot, cute, blond men, steadfastly refusing to even acknowledge Tommy’s pink-haired existence as he repeatedly elbowed his way into the line-up.

As he blinked painfully against the daylight stabbing needles into his eyeballs and the demolition team got up to full steam inside his head, Tommy’s stomach lurched and he staggered unsteadily to the bathroom to retch painfully for long agonising minutes.

Mike watched sympathetically from the doorway, having abandoned the coffee and now had a fizzing glass of Resolve ready. It was a while since Tommy’d been in this state and if he was honest, Mike was worried that this was the start of a slide back into the darkness…

Finally, Tommy gargled with some mouthwash and straightened up. “Am I dead?” He groaned pitifully, taking the glass and pouring it down his throat with a shudder at the bitter taste. “Thanks, dude!”

“What tripped your get-off-my-fucking-head switch? Thought you were set for a sweet hand-holding-over-the-table session with Lizzie?”

“Broke up” Tommy scowled, the memory kicking viciously at the inside of his skull.

“But I thought you were giving it a good go? Y’know, now that Adam’s…”

“ _Nothing_ to do with Adam…” Tommy’s bored and bloated butterflies twitched hopefully at his heated denial.

“Whatever you say, fucker! You need anything else? I gotta get to work…”

“’m fine now… _really_ I’m okay. Now piss off outta here and let me contemplate my hangover in peace!”

Mike looked unconvinced but nodded and moved back into the living room where he retrieved his keys and moments later the door banged behind him. Tommy’s head winced at the noise and it was only with extreme effort that he was able to drag himself to his room where he flopped onto his bed and fell asleep.

The days following saw a similar pattern: TV, junk food and too much alcohol, the latter doing its ineffective best to drown out the self-destructive thoughts that twisted his gut and stomped all over his broken heart. He fell short of repeating the extremes of _break-up day_ , but consumed enough 40% proof to ensure his brain was way too sluggish to be able to think about anything.

Tommy trawled through YouTube, watching and re-watching Adam’s interviews as he proclaimed with that _fucking beautiful smile and dancing blue eyes_ that “yes, I am in love…” He tortured himself with all the sappy things Adam had said about Sauli…”He’s a little star…he keeps me grounded, even when I’m flying too high…sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself…I have that emotional security that I’ve always wanted…I’m very happy…I love being in love…”

In between this masochistic feast, he revisited his favourite _Fever_ performances from London, Amsterdam and Berlin and rubbed salt into the wound by playing one of Adam’s favourite fan vids of himself and Sauli, set to the backdrop of the song _A thousand years._

The self-destructive spiral deepened.

Helpless, Mike watched and worried.

Sutan called. Brad called. Liz called...repeatedly. Isaac called.

Tommy ignored all calls, sinking ever deeper into his anti-social blanket and avoiding interactive media like Twitter and Facebook apart from Adam’s interviews and other UK appearances. For now the darkness owned his soul.

Day nine of Adam’s UK residence saw him performing at the G-A-Y in Charing Cross. In a rare lucid moment, Tommy recalled the fan discussions of a possible livestream from the event and steeled himself before braving the terrifying world of Twitter to find the link and save it. As he scrolled through hurriedly, not wanting to linger for fear of discovering further hate attacks, his wary gaze was met by nothing but kindness and concern from the multitudes worrying that the lone troll had scared him away for good.

Food for thought; alcohol soaked synapses struggled with the notion that maybe he’d over-reacted…

Stretching, he wandered into the bathroom and surveyed his reflection in the mirror. Whilst he didn’t actually stink, confirming that diagnosis with a cautious sniff at his armpits, he was definitely more Stig-of-the-dump than Vivienne Westwood! Wrinkling his nose, he ran a hand over his scruffy beard. Time he sorted his shit and cleaned his act up…

Finally, washed and scrubbed, and dressed properly in jeans and a t-shirt rather than sloppy trackies, Tommy sat cross-legged on his bed and enjoyed Adam’s performance, his five song set extending by a further two as the audience screamed for more. Adam looked delighted with the reception, the biggest cheers of the night for his perfect rendition of _Outlaws of Love_ which he dedicated to the ongoing fight for marriage equality.

Mike was unashamedly emotional when a clean shaven and sober Tommy hauled him in for a hug as he walked through the door that evening, mumbling _sorrysorrysorry_ in Mike’s ear as he clung on tightly. The butterfly had emerged from the chrysalis once more.

Over the next week, Tommy caught up with Brad, Sutan and Isaac, arranging lunch or dinner out to atone for his poor behaviour.

But he still couldn’t bring himself to call Liz… _the sting of betrayal still burned…_

He and Brad curled up together and watched Adam on the Jonathon Ross show on British TV, both agreeing that he looked totally fucking hot and they missed him like hell. Cuddling like puppies they fell asleep in their clothes…

The day after, Brian had arranged a band practice for the San Francisco _Summerthing_. Adam was flying in for the performance, and flying straight back to London after, to continue rehearsing with Brian and Roger for their huge gig in Kiev. How many performers in the entire world got to say that Elton John had been their opening act!

Tommy was still bouncing excitedly after learning that Isaac was going to be back with them on drums for the rest of the summer roadshows, the two hugging and ragging each other like they were back at Kindergarten. So engrossed was Tommy in talking beat and rhythm, that he didn’t notice the arrival of the boss, until two arms snaked around his waist from behind and a familiar scent invaded his nostrils to send his pathetically weak and frail butterflies into new raptures.

“Hey, Tommy Joe!”

Tommy gasped as Adam squeezed his belly and turned himself in the embrace to fling his arms around Adam’s neck, clinging tightly as he immersed himself in everything that was _just Adam._

Adam grinned as Tommy’s legs wrapped themselves around his thighs, the exuberant greeting sparking a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach; that feeling he’d long come to associate with the pleasure of having his pretty kitty close.

“Missed you…” _oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know…_ Tommy mumbled against Adam’s neck as he pressed closer.

“We missed you too, baby…”

 _We…_ that word sent jealous goblins on a rampage and Tommy squinted over his shoulder to take in the view of Adam’s single tiny suitcase. “Sauli’s here?”

His breath warm against Tommy’s skin, Adam chuckled “no! He’s still in London doing some roving reporter thing with Katri for his TV programme. He sends his love though…”

The goblins melted away, leaving just the butterflies floating happily on the gentle breeze.

Adam pressed a kiss to Tommy’s temple and loosened his hold. “Let me look at you…” he paused as his gaze took in the dark shadows under Tommy’s eyes and the haunted look that still lingered from his time in that unforgiving place.

A gentle finger traced his cheek “I thought you were going to look after yourself while I was away…” Adam cupped his jaw “you need to get Liz to pamper you a bit!”

“We broke up…all that crap on Twitter…” Tommy avoided meeting Adam’s eyes, biting his bottom lip hard to prevent the still raw anguish from having his sexuality splayed out across the public domain from spilling out _please don’t tell me you saw it_

“I’m so sorry baby, you looked good together” Adam grimaced “trying to beat the trolls is never a good idea, ignoring them is the only thing that works for us and the fans’ll get ‘em suspended…” He sighed “but they always come back with yet another new account and just carry on with their hate…” He paused momentarily and shook his head before tipping Tommy’s face up to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Remember I’m always here if you need me; you can call, text, email, drop by any time…” He tapped Tommy’s nose playfully “ok, let’s play!

The practice room reverberated to the joyful sound of friends and good music.

The audience at Alice’s Summerthing were fantastic; joining in with the songs, cheering and dancing, and sending waves of love and harmony across the entire park. The Donna Summer medley drew cheers and tears as they paid tribute to one the greatest divas of song and it was with regret they tumbled off the stage after their encore.

Adam grabbed Tommy’s hand as they made their way back to the bus and swung their entwined fingers back and forth happily as they crossed the expanse of tarmac. Tommy grinned contentedly and lost himself in the warmth of Adam’s skin clasped firmly against his own.

Adam would be staying in a nearby hotel overnight before an early morning trip to the airport and a flight back to London; the others were travelling back through the night on the bus, just like the days of the Glam Nation tour and there was a fond mood of nostalgia in the air when they stopped to drop Adam off.

As he bent to brush his lips against Tommy’s for a farewell kiss, Adam paused and held his hands out instead “stay with me Glitterbaby? Like we used to?”

It was all Tommy could do to contain the **_fuck yeah_ ** that was just gagging to be shouted from the rooftops, but he forced a casual nod and a grin, flipping the bird at Isaac when he winked and made kissy kissy faces at them as they went past towards the doors.

Adam laughed and shouted his goodbye from the top step, before passing his case to Tommy and leaping lightly down to land beside him. Draping an arm around his shoulders, they made their way into the hotel to collect Adam’s key card and order something to eat to be sent up.

Tommy’s butterflies were into full aerial acrobatic mode as Adam opened the door to his room and pushed Tommy gently over the threshold before abandoning his case and flopping happily onto the huge bed.

“This feels so good!” He patted the covers beside him, lifting his head to gaze quizzically when Tommy didn’t move. “Your virtue is perfectly safe, baby, even though my boyfriend _is_ five thousand miles away!” grinning as pink coloured Tommy’s pale cheeks to match his hair.

Bending first to remove his boots, Tommy shrugged out of his jacket and joined Adam, laying back with a happy sigh as he was immediately gathered into a hug and Adam snuggled close. “I’ve missed this…” he mumbled into Tommy’s hair as they lay still and a comfortable silence fell.

They were close to drifting off when a tap at the door announced the arrival of room service. Adam signed for it and they settled back against the headboard to flick through the TV movie selection as they devoured delicious burgers and fries, finally settling on _Die Hard 4_ because it reminded them of the GNT and the innumerable replays of _Die Hard 2._

With burgers and coffee finished and the tray left outside the door, they took turns in the bathroom, Tommy using everything of Adam’s in preference to the hotel supplied range, and stripped down to underwear and t-shirts before climbing under the covers.

The film played on but neither was watching, instead, gazing into each other’s eyes, legs entangled and one hand resting on the other’s waist.

“I was worried about you…” Adam spoke softly, moving his hand to stroke Tommy’s cheek. “You stopped replying to my emails and I had a mass of messages from Brad, Sutan, Isaac, Mike…and Liz…” He nuzzled closer as Tommy tensed at the mention of Liz’s name.

“They were all concerned; they all love you…” Adam pressed a gentle kiss to Tommy’s mouth “ _I_ love you and I want you to be happy…”

Tommy screwed his eyes closed as the tears welled and he fought to stop them escaping. Adam wasn’t fooled, however, and tugged him closer still. “She really cares for you and she was devastated when you broke it off…she knows she screwed up…” His voice softened “just try calling her, let her make her peace and then you can get back to making music – Alla’s missed you too!”

He chuckled as Tommy’s eyes flew open in surprise "Yeah, Alla phoned too! You have an army of people who care about you; your very own Pretty Kitty protection league!” He grinned as Tommy finally smiled. “See, that wasn’t so bad! Now promise me you’ll look after yourself properly when you go home…”

“I promise!” Tommy leant forward and kissed Adam lightly “thanks…for y’know…”

“Kicking your arse?”

“Yeah!”

“Any time, baby!” Adam prodded Tommy’s shoulder “turn over…”

They settled down again, Adam spooned around Tommy’s back, his face in Tommy’s hair and their fingers linked together on Tommy’s hip. “What time’s your flight?”

“Half past eight, the car’s coming at half five and I’ve got an alarm call booked for five which is…” Adam lifted his head to glance at the clock “just over four hours away so we’ve got time to grab some sleep if you want…”

“Are you tired?”

“Not really, and I can sleep on the plane…”

“Tell me about working with Brian and Roger…”

“They’re so fucking awesome…” Adam talked happily about the Queen legends and the rehearsals, moving on to the different interviews and shows he’d been on over the past two weeks and was describing the sight-seeing he and Sauli had done when Tommy’s gentle breathing confirmed he’d finally fallen asleep. Smiling, Adam snuggled closer and closed his eyes…

The alarm call came all too soon and after thanking the caller and ordering coffee, Adam returned the phone to its base and turned back to survey a deliciously sleep-mussed Tommy, pink hair spread in a mass over his pillow and his bottom lip pouting at the thought of having to shift from this snug and comfortable haven. That familiar warmth spread through Adam’s veins and he savoured the sight for repeated reviewing on his long flight back to London.

A quiet tap at the door heralded the arrival of the vital caffeine supplies. Adam padded into the bathroom “Can you let the coffee in Glitterbaby?”

The word coffee seemingly had magic properties as Tommy was out of bed and opening the door in seconds, bed-head in full peacock display mode to draw a hastily quashed raised eyebrow from the young waiter who handed the tray over in exchange for some folded greenbacks and a signature.

Tommy inhaled the rich aroma of the coffee and poured out two mugs.

Adam reappeared from the bathroom after his shower, one towel around his waist and another in his hand as he rubbed his hair dry. Tommy’s mouth went dry as his eyes roved over the display of freckled flesh, his attention captured by a droplet of water that ran down Adam’s neck and trickled down his chest to soak into the towel. Tommy swallowed hard and forced his mind away from the enticing ideas his tongue was having as another droplet begged to be licked from Adam’s body.

“Shower’s free…”

“Huh?”

“Your turn for the shower. You want me to wash your back?”

Something that could only be described as a squeak burst from Tommy’s mouth and he glanced away as a fierce blush rocketed over his face.

Adam laughed, the throaty sound heading straight to Tommy’s groin and he grabbed his coffee and vanished before the all too obvious response to Adam’s near naked presence and playful teasing betrayed his true feelings.

Still chuckling, Adam sorted out his clothes, putting out his spare t-shirt and a pair of boxer briefs for Tommy. By the time Tommy had raced through his own shower, Adam had checked in on-line for his flight and was scrolling through Twitter looking at the reaction to last night’s performance. He loved his fans and being up there on stage with his Glamily to sing for them was the best feeling ever…

Adam waved towards the bed as Tommy emerged from the bathroom, his own appearance in just a towel causing a mirroring reaction as Adam’s gaze took the in the view of milky white skin that only served to accentuate the boldness of his horror tattoo sleeve. Tommy was _fucking gorgeous_ …and still owned a part of Adam’s soul. His mind drifted, both men were so similar: both tiny and fucking beautiful, both so _real_ and totally loyal…one blond and one cute as a kitten with his now pink locks…

The bedside phone bumped him back into reality. “Car’s here…”

Tommy emerged from the bathroom, this time fully dressed and a possessive thrill ran through Adam’s body at the sight of him in Adam’s own t-shirt. For a micro-second their eyes met, heat and want blazing from one set of crystal blue and echoed in another of liquid brown. Adam’s phone buzzed in his pocket and the spell was broken.

Adam opened the door and Tommy threw the toiletry bag into the case and zipped it up, extended the handle and joined Adam in the hallway. “We ready?”

Tommy nodded and took Adam’s outstretched hand. Minutes later they’d checked out and were in the car speeding towards the airport. They leant against each other in companionable silence until the turn off for the drop off zone.

“Tommy?”

“Adam!”

“Will you be okay when…” he didn’t finish the question.

“Yeah, ‘m good… _really!_ ” Tommy grinned ruefully “Honest, ‘m fine! Something to do with my best friend kicking my backside into gear!”

“Good! Because I don’t want anything to spoil _this_ …” He pulled an envelope from his pocket and pressed it into Tommy’s hand. “This is to be opened once you’ve dropped me off at the airport. The car’s paid up and will take you back to Burbank…”

“But…”

Adam silenced him with a soft press of his mouth to Tommy’s. “No buts!”   

“Can I come into the airport with you?”

“Best not! I don’t know how many people know I’m on the flight, but the Glamberts are ninjas when it comes to finding this stuff out! I’m going to go straight through security and chill out airside. I’ll be on my phone in about half hour…call me then.”

The car pulled over and the driver got out to retrieve Adam’s case. Adam cupped Tommy’s face and kissed him sweetly. “See you soon, Glitterbaby!” Climbing out as the driver opened the door, he stuck his head back in through the window “oh, and bring your guitar!” His smile lit the inside of the car like a firework on Guy Fawkes.

Tommy watched him vanish through the doors, plain baseball cap and understated jacket blending him into the crowds.

“Are you ready to move on, sir?”

Tommy jumped as the driver addressed him. “Oh, yeah, thanks!”

With a nod, he put the car into drive and pulled away.

Reaching into his pocket Tommy tugged the envelope out and gazed at it. The outside held no clues, just his name in Adam’s distinctive handwriting. Taking a deep breath, he slit it open.

It was a first class plane ticket to London, leaving on July 3rd, returning on the 15th. Blinking back the tears that sparkled in his eyes, Tommy read the sticky note attached

**_Say YES_ **

**_Don’t lose your passport and prepare to rock out with royalty!_ **

**_Love you Tommy Joe_ **

**_A_ **

Reaching for his phone, he thumbed Adam’s name and pressed call.

“Yes! Yes please! _Yes_!”

 


	7. Chapter 7

An animated conversation flowed over the airwaves as Adam explained the rough itinerary and Tommy bounced excitedly in his seat in the car. After setting him homework to get up close and personal with the Queen songs, Adam blew him a noisy kiss and hung up. Tommy explored Youtube and found a playlist of the three Greatest Hits albums, settling back against the soft leather to lose himself in the music with a contented smile on his lips and a warm glow in his belly…

When he finally arrived home that evening, he bounded in through the door and threw himself on Mike who was stretched out in the armchair. Mike’s startled gasp was lost as the air was driven from his lungs and Tommy snuggled into his embrace as Mike’s arms closed automatically around him.

“Love you fucker!” Tommy cuddled closer.

Mike’s eyebrows rose and he exchanged amused glances with Tanya who came through from the kitchen to check out the commotion. “Are you drunk again, Ratliff?”

“Nope! Stone cold sober…but I still love you!” Tommy rubbed his head against Mike’s chin like an affectionate kitten.

“Then what the…” still a trifle breathless!

“You rang Adam…he said you were worried…” Tommy sighed happily “ _you rang Adam…_ ”

“Ahh!” Comprehension dawned and Mike grinned “he’s gone all mushy and sentimental on us!” he winked at Tanya who shook her head fondly and left them to it, chuckling as she set about making a fresh pot of coffee and sorting out an extra plate for dinner.

“So you had a good time with lover boy, then?”

Tommy nodded and smiled dreamily before pulling out of Mike’s hold. “I’m going to London! _Fucking London!_ First class and I’m taking my guitar!” He mimed a riff, brown eyes shining with happiness and Mike blinked away sudden tears; his best friend was truly back from the darkness…

After dinner Tommy hummed happily as he did the dishes and took himself off to bed, his earphones and ipod at the ready with the entire catalogue of Queen tracks he’d downloaded. Eyes closed, he settled back and finally fell asleep with his smile still fixed firmly in place…tonight his dreams would be happy ones.

Waking well into the morning, Tommy stretched luxuriously and reached for his phone. Rolling onto his tummy, he propped himself up on one elbow and spent a pleasant hour playing on Facebook and Twitter…it felt good to be back.

Finally falling out of bed, he showered, dressed and dragged his laptop out. After a few wrong turns he found what he was looking for and worked his way through the order form. Finally completing the purchase, he grabbed his jacket and headed out.

After collecting his parcel he debated about calling ahead, eventually deciding that arriving unannounced would remove the option of hiding or even using the time to procure weapons for use against him!

Tommy was somewhat laden when he rang the bell; guitar, mini hay bale and his assortment of parcels around his feet, whilst his stomach churned uncomfortably and he fought the urge to run as he waited anxiously on the doorstep.

“Teeeeej!” Alla squealed loudly, flung her arms around his neck and dragged him over the threshold to hug him to death. When he’d untangled himself from her exuberant greeting, Tommy retrieved his peace offerings. Alla giggled at the cherry-red hair on her angel rag doll and immediately put the shiny child’s halo on. “How do I look?”

“Angelic!” Tommy grinned and let her lead him into the sunroom where the others were drinking coffee. He bit his lip as they all looked from him to Liz and their lively conversation about _Rock of Ages_ stopped dead. For a long moment there was silence and Tommy was about to turn tail and run when Liz stood up and opened her arms.

“I’m so sorry, TJ… _please…_ ” she let the sentence fall away unfinished, gasping as he hugged her hard and lifted her off her feet. When he landed her back on the floor everyone was laughing and it was like he’d never been away. Flopping onto the tiles to lean back against Liz’s legs, Tommy took a slug from his coffee and reflected that on the whole, life wasn’t so bad at all!

When Alla herded them into the practice room, Tommy grabbed a second to hand over his gift. Liz was rendered speechless with the mini hay bundle and hand-named leather halter for her beloved horse _Cairo_ and Tommy smiled into the kiss as they sealed their truce to wolf whistles from their friends.

It was a riotous jam session with fun and laughter and it felt good to be back making music.

As they packed their gear away and made plans for the next session, Tommy kept the news of his upcoming trip to himself _it was just his and Adam’s…_ His butterflies fluttered triumphantly and guarded his secret jealously; some things were just _too special to share…_

The days flew past, the hours filled to the brim with a multitude of activities…band practice for the roadshows, planning meetings with Brian for some ideas they were throwing around about putting together some recordings in the downtime between gigs with Adam, a couple of skype sessions with Adam about the songs they were doing in London, dinner with Isaac and Sophie, dates and coffee with Liz and sorting through his wardrobe for the stuff he was taking to London. Most nights he fell asleep either with the sound of Queen in his ears or wrapped warm and sated in Liz’s arms.

Finally he’d had to come clean when she started making plans for the following week. Liz had been a little cool with him initially when he’d told her, her mood not improved by noticing the addition of a very prominent **_I love Adam Lambert_ ** key fob to his car keys. Ultra casual, Tommy laughed it off as a joke gift from Mike, which was the truth, however, omitting to share the delighted thrill it gave him every time he picked his keys up… _I want you to stay…_

She thawed somewhat as the day of his trip drew closer, and he suspected Alla had given her a stern talking to as the barbed snipes directed at Adam’s work with Queen and her thinly veiled comments about there only being _one_ _irreplaceable_ Freddie Mercury, all but stopped.

It was a peace of sorts and their relationship settled back on course. He still hadn’t said those three words she wanted to hear, burying his face into her hair or nibbling on her earlobe as she whispered them to him when they were in bed…

Tommy’s _I love you_ wasn’t his to give away. No matter how much he tried to truly love Liz, his heart belonged to Adam… _now and always…_

He rejected all offers of company or going out on the last day of June, so he could sit at home and watch the Kiev concert. Elton John was amazing as an opening act and Tommy almost forgot to breathe when Adam strutted onto the stage looking sexy as fuck in front of two hundred and fifty thousand people. Looking closely, Tommy could see the well disguised nerves at the sheer magnificence of the occasion and loved his man that little bit more.

The atmosphere was electric, even in its diluted form over the virtual airwaves, and he was transfixed by Adam’s sheer magnetism and showmanship; _that voice_ soared and tore into his soul, owning him completely as time stood still.

As the final encore died away and the broadcast ended, Tommy thumbed a congratulatory message to Adam, then took himself off to the shower to re-live the images of Adam in his tight leather trousers…

After some frantic last-minute chores and packing, the day of his trip to London dawned. Tommy crept around the apartment in the wee small hours as he gathered his luggage and precious guitar and let himself out quietly.  

He was secretly pleased when Liz hadn’t offered to take him to the airport, citing a prior commitment she couldn’t get out of. Whilst he knew it was her way of showing her disapproval, Tommy was way too excited to care and with Isaac as his designated driver he could let all his bottled up euphoria out to play without fear of prodding Liz’s possessive streak into action!

Isaac happily munched on drive-through junk food when Tommy suggested breakfast en route and they were both hyper by the time they rejoined the main traffic, singing along loudly and tunelessly to the sixties hour on the radio…

Once Isaac had dropped him off and hugged him to a pulp, leaving him with emphatic instructions to have the _time of his fucking life_ , Tommy checked in and went through security to chill out airside. Perched high on a bar stool in the corner of the American Airlines Executive Lounge bar, he watched the planes coming and going out of the massive window as his own flight slowly worked its way up to the top of the departures board.

Only when he was settled in his seat in First Class did it finally sink in that this was real… _he was going to London to rock out with Queen…fucking rock royalty and Adam had made it all happen…_ The butterfly somersaults in his stomach had absolutely nothing to do with his dislike of takeoff…

The flight was long but passed quickly enough with the aid of his music, a couple of decent films and the pleasing discovery that his cabin’s steward was an ardent Queen fan and had just started listening to Adam’s music since the announcement of the mini-tour. Enthusiastic and stimulating conversations ensued whenever Ben wasn’t busy attending to the demands of Tommy’s fellow travellers.   

Shaking Ben’s hand warmly, Tommy made his way from the plane and joined the throng at passport control. As he waited at the carousel for his case, he turned his phone back on to find a message from Sauli. Tapping a swift reply he grabbed his case and headed to the desk dealing with over-sized and fragile items to retrieve his guitar. Finally all set, he followed the signs to the short stay car park, stopping to sign some autographs and pose for pictures with a very polite group of fans on the way.

Sauli was waiting for him by the rented car, his lovely face breaking into a massive grin as he hugged Tommy tightly and they slid into the back seat, swapping news as the driver stowed Tommy’s luggage before turning the car towards the city centre.

“You want to eat first or shower?” Sauli waved the menu at Tommy as he dragged his case open and hastily unpacked, shoving his clothes into drawers or on the shelf in the wardrobe. Adam had booked him a room opposite his and Sauli’s, that tiny distance just enough to eradicate Tommy’s fear that he’d hear the kind of sounds no-one in love with their best friend should ever have to hear!

“Shower, I think. I always feel grubby after a long journey… What?” Tommy looked bemused as Sauli shook his head and indicated his unpacking.

“Order food, then you shower and I unpack for you. You will be all creased if I do not make it right!” Sauli reached out and swapped the shirt in Tommy’s hands for the menu.

Laughing at Sauli’s determined expression, Tommy scanned the list of food. “Anything you’d recommend?”

“An iron!”

“Hahaha! I meant to eat!”

Sauli grinned “I know!” He moved to the wardrobe and carefully hung the shirt up “Adam liked the steak and ale pie when he had it one night…”

“Sounds perfect!” Tommy grinned and reached for the phone. “Two?”

Nodding, Sauli continued to empty the drawers and refold all of Tommy’s clothes “and ask for some tea…the English tea is nice!”

Order placed, Tommy grabbed his wash bag and disappeared into the bathroom.

Showered, fed and watered, Tommy was happily relaxed and they moved across the hall to Adam and Sauli’s room. He felt a brief tinge of jealously at the sight of Adam’s things mixed in with Sauli’s but clamped it down. _Adam’s happy so you’re happy…_

Sauli handed him an orange folder and flopped on the bed, stretching in a very cat-like manner. Watching him out of the corner of his eye, Tommy marvelled at the tiny Finn’s flexibility and couldn’t help the sudden wash of images as he imagined some of the positions Adam and Sauli might find themselves in… Catching Sauli’s gaze, he blushed and dragged his eyes back to the folder.

As he read the front sheet in Adam’s distinctive handwriting he let out a strangled squawk and his mouth fell open. Blinking in disbelief, he read it again…and again…

Flicking through the mass of sheet music, his head automatically played the notes, supplying riffs and deviations as his butterflies sorted out the glasses and a bottle of Jack…

A hand on his shoulder made him jump and he came out of his trance with a startled gasp. “It’s time!” Sauli chuckled “Adam said you would be happy…”

“ _Happy?_ I’m over the fucking moon and rockin’ the cosmos!” 

“Adam loves you and is happy when you are happy…” A dreamy expression crossed Sauli’s face as he pictured his man “and I am happy when you both are happy too!” He tugged lightly on Tommy’s sleeve. “It is going to start…”

With the lights down and a bottle of beer each, they settled back against the headboard to watch the livestream from Moscow, warm and comfortable, shoulder to shoulder.

_Life is so fucking awesome right now…_

Moscow was even better than Kiev; Adam had relaxed into the role as frontman for the legendary band and his voice rang pure and clear, sending goose bumps down their spines with his emotion-charged rendition of _Who wants to live forever…_ As the crowds erupted into screams and applause, Tommy and Sauli both let out huge gasps of breath neither had realised they were holding.

All too soon, it was over, _We are the champions_ closing the show with a magnificent fanfare and pyrotechnics. They looked at each other and grinned, bumping shoulders affectionately before sliding off the bed.

Tommy phoned an order in for some coffee as Sauli set out some of his Finnish biscuits and they discussed the show and Sauli’s sightseeing as they waited.

The coffee arrived just as the screen blinked on Sauli’s laptop and Adam’s gorgeous face appeared in front of them. He was radiant, his beautiful smile lighting up the room from across the miles. Tommy’s heart skipped a beat or two and that tiny burst of jealousy from earlier squirmed in the pit of his stomach as Adam and Sauli greeted each other with the easy familiarity that only comes from regular intimacy.

Booting that unquieting sensation into touch, Tommy busied himself with sorting out their drinks as the two men spoke quietly. As he glanced up, Sauli stroked the screen and pressed a kiss to his finger and then to Adam’s lips. It was uplifting, touching and just a teeny bit heartbreaking, but he couldn’t help smiling at their obvious love for each other…

That smile widened as he heard his name “Where’s Tommy?”

“He’s here…he is bringing me coffee!”

“Hey there, pretty kitty!” Adam chuckled happily as Tommy handed Sauli his drink and dropped onto the bed beside him. “How’d you like the show?”

Tommy beamed and launched into all the bits he’d liked best. Adam grinned, blue eyes twinkling. “So you’re happy with my little plan?”

“It’s…it’s…” Tommy took a breath in “ _just beyond anything I’d…_ ”

“I can’t wait to see you tomorrow!” Adam paused as someone called his name from behind him, turning to speak softly to them before looking back at the screen.

Glancing across at Sauli who was sat watching his boyfriend with a dreamy smile on his face, Tommy drained the last of his coffee and stood up. “’m gonna hit my pillow now and try and get some sleep.” His voice dropped to a whisper “ _thank you_ babyboy, _so much_ for everything…” He hugged Sauli briefly “see you in the morning!”

He left the room quickly before they could catch the sparkle of tears _how’d I get to be so fucking lucky?_ He fell asleep quickly, with a smile on his lips and images of Adam dancing in his head.

The morning saw him chasing the fast-fading images of an amazing dream, with desire coiled hot in his belly and a raging hard on that demanded urgent attention. Consequently, he took an early shower before flopping back on his bed in just a towel to listen to his programmed playlist once more.

He wondered what Adam had made of his choice of the one Queen song for Adam to sing to him…

When he was dry, he dressed and was contemplating ordering coffee when Sauli tapped on his door. He too, was up early, having been for a light workout in the gym, so they headed down for breakfast together.  

A stifled squeal and nervous giggling from their server had them grinning, especially when she continued to take their order without giving in to her obvious excitement. Tommy decided he really liked the British reserve and professionalism and winked at Sauli as she unloaded her tray of cups, saucers, real china tea pot and milk jug. Once all dangers of spilled boiling water had passed, he asked her name and they chatted about London and the best sights to see.

Maggie departed with a beaming smile, two autographs and a photo, leaving the two men discussing the day ahead. Sauli’s flight to Helsinki for a modelling photoshoot was leaving at two that afternoon whilst Tommy’s to Poland was an hour later; they had time for a brief foray to the shops and then they’d take a car to the airport…

They went back to their rooms to pack travel bags, leaving them with the concierge before taking to the streets of London. Sauli navigated expertly from his most recent experience of the best shops and despite the short time they had, both bought new leather jackets, Sauli added a sleeveless top for Adam and Tommy picked out a pair of boots. Laden with their purchases, they made their way back to the hotel, stopping briefly to photograph Tommy in the same red phone box that Adam and Sauli had taken their pictures in. Now he had the complete set!

A brief drop into their rooms to land their shopping, it was time to head to the airport. After checking in and going through security, they settled in a bar for some lunch. Once they’d eaten their fill, they wandered around the airport before taking the elevator up to the lounge to wait for their flights in comfort.

These past couple of days had been the longest time Tommy had spent alone with Sauli and he had to admit that he’d thoroughly enjoyed his company; Sauli was fun, charming and had a terrific sense of humour, as well as being totally cute and sexy as sin! What had Brad said? _He’s just like us Tommy Joe…_ He knew precisely what Adam saw in Sauli, why he was totally captivated by him…why he _loved him…_

When Sauli’s flight was called for boarding, Tommy hugged him hard and wasn’t surprised when Sauli planted a soft chaste kiss on his lips. “See you in a few days minun ystäväni…enjoy in Poland” Hoisting his flight bag over his shoulder, Sauli grinned and melted into the crowd.

Tommy cupped his hands around his mug of coffee and let his mind drift aimlessly over the events of the past week. Yet again, Adam had rocked his world _and I absolutely fucking love it…_ His grin was still in place when they called his flight…

Poland was warm and Tommy melted in his leather jacket as he made his way through immigration and luggage reclaim. He was more than happy to see a sign with his name on as he walked through to the arrivals hall. Introducing himself to the driver, Tommy slid into the welcoming air conditioned interior of the car and flicked through the new messages on his phone.

Adam was waiting for him at their hotel. _Adam…_ his butterflies prepared for aerial acrobatics once more.

Tommy checked in and was shown up to his room. He dumped his bag on the bed and considered unpacking the few clothes he’d brought for the couple of days they were staying. Chuckling as he saw Sauli’s face in his head, he moved his shirts and t-shirts to the wardrobe, hanging his shirts carefully and then stowed the case under his bed.  

His phone beeped in his pocket as he stood gazing out of the window and his heartbeat jumped happily as Adam’s face flashed on the tiny screen.

“Hey baby! You made it!”

Tommy thumbed it onto speaker and dropped into the armchair. “Yeah, just unpacked…”

“In your wall safe is a VIP pass and a key card for my room next door. We’re just about to go into a press conference if you want to join us; that pass’ll get you through security…” He paused and Tommy could hear the fondness in his voice “you know the combination, right?”

Grinning, Tommy chuckled “yep, yours and mine babyboy”

Adam laughed and the sound warmed Tommy’s heart, memories flooding thick and fast from their Glam Nation tour days “you got it! Okay, we’re in the Ambassador conference suite…elevator down to the second floor and security’ll be all over you! See you in a few”

Tommy leapt to his feet and moved to the wardrobe, tapping in the four digit code they’d used in every hotel stop since the first…2-9-1-8 _yours and mine…_

He hung the VIP pass around his neck and slid Adam’s door key into his wallet, ran his fingers through his hair and headed out to the elevator. As the door pinged open, a wall of noise assailed his ears and he winced. The elevator was flanked by two huge bodyguards who studied his pass intently, scrutinising his face before comparing it to the photo and double checking his name against their list of approved beings.

He obviously passed the test as one of them led him towards the doors at the end of the corridor, his huge bulk ploughing a path through the teeming melee of bodies with cameras, sound and lighting equipment and general paraphernalia associated with a mass gathering of the media. Grinning, Tommy scurried in his wake until he was granted access to the oasis of calm and all things Adam behind the conference room doors.

Adam was perched on the table, talking quietly to Brian May and Roger Taylor and some bloke in a suit who was pointing out various areas of the room which had been allocated to the different TV companies and industry reporters.

Tommy gazed at Adam, his eyes drinking in the relaxed stance and the obvious regard the others had for him as the three conversed once ‘suit’ moved away to speak to somebody on his phone.

“ _Tommy Joe!_ ” Adam’s voice held nothing but delight and he slid off the table to tug Tommy into a fierce hug. “Come and meet everyone!” Releasing him, Adam linked their fingers and led Tommy over to the sofa where Brian and Roger were now sat, ‘suit’ once again gesticulating wildly as the time ticked down towards the start of the press conference.

“Bri, Rog…this is Tommy Joe Ratliff, my badass guitarist and best friend…” He squeezed Tommy’s hand reassuringly “Tommy, Brian May and Roger Taylor…Rock Royalty…”

Tommy nodded shyly and shook hands with both men, completely tongue tied and star struck.

Adam laughed and draped an arm around Tommy’s shoulders “He’s not usually this quiet!”

Brian grinned “I really loved your solo on Sleepwalker at the KISS concert in 2010…”

Eyes widening, Tommy gasped “you’ve seen it? _Fuck that’s awesome!_ ” He spluttered and bit his lip “sorry, I’m just…I mean…that’s just…I’m…”

Pressing a kiss to Tommy’s temple, Adam chuckled “they’ve seen it _all_ Glitterbaby…Fever, Amsterdam…the works!”

“That encore was shit hot!” Roger winked “and I can’t believe how you carried on playing!” He met Tommy’s gaze “I can’t wait to hear what you do with our little tunes…” He looked across at Brian “I’m sure we can work a few kissing breaks in there somewhere!”

“I’ll have to check with Anita before I start kissing Adam on stage!” Brian leant forward “unless you’d prefer to keep his kisses to yourself?” he teased gently as Tommy nodded emphatically, blushing scarlet as he realised what he’d done.

“Got it; Adam’s stage kisses are just for Tommy!” Brian smiled at Roger “you want _us_ to give it a go?”

“Hell no!” Roger shuddered, laughter breaking out as the ‘suit’ returned and everyone took their places as the doors were opened and the media piled in. Feeling a light tug on his sleeve, Tommy followed the young man, who looked eerily like Roger, to the side of the room and they watched the proceedings unfold.

As the various TV stations set up their cameras and a mass of photographers jostled for position as Brian, Roger and Adam posed for official pictures, a multitude of flashes going off like fireworks, Rufus introduced himself and explained the set up. By the time the conference got underway, Tommy and Rufus had discovered several mutual interests and influences; Jimi Hendrix, Metallica and horror movies included, and Tommy’s shyness slipped away.

“Do me a favour, dude?” Tommy nudged Rufus with his elbow as ‘suit’ or to give him his proper title: Mr Peter Rankin, Senior Conference Manager, stepped forward to ask for quiet and to introduce the stars.

“Whatever you need…”

“Pinch me so I know I’m not dreaming all this!”

“My pleasure!” Rufus chuckled softly and pinched the back of Tommy’s hand, twisting the skin so Tommy had to bite down on his lip to stop a squawk of pain escaping. “That hard enough?

“Perfect! That fuckin’ hurt! I’m definitely awake!”

Rufus bumped his shoulder and grinned. “Anytime!”

Adam dazzled throughout the press conference, his genuine appreciation and respect for the Queen legends, Brian and Roger, both endearing and shrieking integrity…Adam radiated a realness that few performers possessed and it was no surprise to see both Brian and Roger displaying those same qualities as they talked about the young man who was following in the late, great Freddie Mercury’s footsteps…

 _Following_ , Adam stressed when asked what it felt like to be filling Freddie’s shoes. With that fucking gorgeous smile of his, Adam pointed out that there would only ever be _one_ Freddie Mercury, and that he’d be bringing his _own_ shoes to perform and play tribute to the amazing music and band that was _Queen…_

The quiet and whole-hearted approval of the two surviving members of that legendary band merely underlined what an awesome fit they all were. Tommy’s heart melted to see Adam so happy.

As the media were herded out and the crazy circus dwindled to a small group of hotel executives, Tommy and Rufus rejoined the others and they chatted over some rather good fresh coffee and pastries.   

The conversation turned to the performance and what Tommy was most looking forward to. His reply was instant and he surprised himself with his passion “being able to _feel_ the music, to let it get under my skin and own my soul…to be a _part_ of it, of every note and nuance…” He shrugged lightly, “it’s hard to put into words!”

Swapping silent glances with Roger, Brian smiled in his gentle way, his eyes twinkling with fondness. “We know _exactly_ what you mean, Tommy and tomorrow I hope you’ll join us for a few tunes in rehearsal…I know Adam’s promised you’ll play Sleepwalker for us…”

Blushing furiously to the roots of his pink locks, Tommy was speechless, tiny excited whimpers the only sound he seemed capable of as he nodded vigorously. Adam ruffled Tommy’s hair “I think that means ‘yes’!” he chuckled “lucky I speak fluent _Pretty Kitty_!”

Patting him on the back, Roger got up and he, Brian and Rufus prepared to return to their suite. “See you boys in the morning!”

With the two of them left alone now, aside from the cleaning staff, Tommy leant into the comforting warmth of Adam’s body as his best friend and boss wrapped him into a hug. Immersing himself in the scent and feel of everything that was _Adam,_ Tommy stopped thinking and allowed himself to simply _be…_

“You want to go get some dinner or shall we have room service? I’m hungry!” Adam murmured into Tommy’s hair after an indeterminate amount of time had passed with neither moving nor speaking.

“Whatever’s cool…” Tommy lifted his head reluctantly and pulled out of Adam’s arms with an almost inaudible sigh. Stretching, he flipped his hair off his face and turned, blushing as he caught Adam’s gaze…intense and possessive…

“I do love the pink…it’s so…” Adam’s phone burst into life, _Broken English_ sounding from the depths of his pocket. “ _Kultsi…_ you landed?”

Tommy bit his lip as the familiar bittersweet ache swept through him, Adam’s face lighting up as he swapped updates with Sauli… _his boyfriend…the man he loves…the man he wants to marry…_

_Your friends…_

Adam had moved to the window and was chuckling at something Sauli had said, his attention totally on his man. 

Suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of melancholy, Tommy slipped out of the door and made his way back to his room. Once there he dragged his guitar out of its case and flicked through the sheaf of music Adam had left for him. His fingers caressed the notes and the haunting sound of _Who wants to live forever_ filled the room. As he immersed himself in the beautiful melody, his dark cloud faded away and a soft smile curved his lips.

Persistent tapping on his door finally broke into his stream of consciousness and he hastened to let Adam in, grinning happily as Adam hugged him tightly “You’re going to blow their minds when you play that tomorrow, baby!”    

A warm glow settled in his stomach and stayed with him all evening as they ate from the room service menu and curled up to watch a couple of episodes of Breaking Bad on Adam’s laptop. Finally, he fell asleep in the reassuring circle of Adam’s arms, both fully clothed until the early hours when, still half asleep, they stripped down to t-shirts and boxers and slid under the covers.

They slept through to the alarm that Adam had set and Tommy took himself back next door to his room to shower and find clean clothes. Over breakfast, they ran through the setlist they were going to perform for Brian and Roger, shuffling the order slightly to slot in the two Queen songs they wanted to surprise them with.

As they headed down to the lobby for the car that would take them to the venue, Tommy’s nervous butterflies huddled anxiously in the pit of his stomach… _don’tfuckupdon’tfuckup…_ echoing on repeat in his head…

They were there for about twenty minutes before Bri, Rog, Rufus and the rest of the crew arrived, the sound engineers setting to work immediately as Adam and Tommy did a swift soundcheck. Satisfied they were as ready as they were going to be, they moved to the edge of the stage, with their assembled audience bunched in the centre of the front two rows, and launched into an acoustic rendition of _Music Again._

Adam’s voice was pitch perfect as they blended straight into _Sleepwalker_ and Tommy’s heart stopped as he saw Brian lean forward in the intro to exchange a quiet word with Roger and their tour manager, both of whom nodded. Brian leant back, a satisfied smile on his face. Brian was happy it seemed and that was just what Tommy’s nerves needed for them to melt away.

Relaxing into the music, Tommy nailed his solo and he grinned, spinning around to return to his spot just behind and to the right of Adam. They exchanged a brief glance as Adam hit the final notes and Tommy slipped into the opening bars of _Fever,_ his butterflies charging into full aerial display mode knowing exactly what was coming…

Their audience applauded delightedly as they shared a brief and chaste kiss before Adam strutted the length of the stage, ending the song back in the centre.

They both paused a moment, letting a silence settle after the energy of the last song. Tommy’s fingers found the notes and caressed them, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up as Adam poured his soul into the lyrics and the air around them shimmered with emotion. Tears pricked at the corner of Tommy’s eyes as Adam’s gaze met his for the final line… _who waits forever anyway…_ Adam turned away.

A single tear escaped and rolled down Tommy’s cheek… _I will…_

From there, they continued the emotionally charged mood with _Outlaws of Love._ As silence fell once more, Adam planted his feet either side of the mic stand and clapped them into _Trespassing,_ the fierce and funky rhythm getting everyone into the beat. They closed their mini-set with _Dragon Attack_ , Adam leaping off the stage to pull Brian and Roger to their feet and propel them gently towards their instruments, as Tommy kept the signature bass line going whilst everyone got into place.

Laughing, they fell into the song, Adam’s vocals soaring clear and pure above the killer jam of two guitars, bass, drums, percussion and keys. Tommy and Brian hit it off instantly, Tommy following Brian’s lead in the guitar solos and they let it fly…

It was wild and fun and absolutely one of best moments of his life… _jammin’ tunes with Queen and Adam Lambert…life didn’t get any fucking better than this!_

Breathless and grinning, Brian looked across at Adam and then back to Tommy “ _I want to break free_?” Without waiting for a reply he played the first chords, repeating the intro as the others caught up. That was followed by _Don’t stop me now, We will rock you_ and the iconic _Bohemian Rhapsody_.

Tommy was wired and buzzing as they stowed their instruments for breather. Brian draped an arm around his shoulders “You’ve got a rare talent there, Tommy, and I loved what you did with that bridge…” He paused as Roger and Adam joined them to sit on the edge of the stage, the two nodding imperceptibly.

“Now I know we promised you a full jam session, but we’re going to have to cut that short because we need to rehearse…”

“S’cool dude! I’ve had the most awesome time today…”

Brian chuckled and shook his head. “You misunderstand me, Tommy! We’ve got a pre-concert on Wednesday for the Sunshine Club of Great Britain – one of our charities we support – and if you’d like to join us on stage for that…like I said; we need to rehearse!”

Adam laughed as Tommy’s mouth fell open and he offered a remarkably proficient impression of a goldfish as all forms of coherent speech deserted him once again. “Urh, erm, gu…”

“That’s a yes!” Adam ruffled Tommy’s hair and tugged on it gently, smiling at Tommy’s delighted face.

“Good on you, kid!” Roger smacked him on the back and Rufus grinned at him.

“We’ll play you the song you chose…and it’s one of my absolute favourites so I’m really happy about…” Brian paused mid sentence “why that particular song?”

“The melody and the lyrics, the way they entwine…it’s just got everything you need to feel it…”

Brian nodded in agreement “go sit on the front row and we’ll play it for you!” he laughed “your very own command performance!”

Moving back to pick up his guitar, he checked to see if everyone was ready…

 _Love of my life…_ Tommy lost himself in the song, wrapping it around him like a blanket as he immersed himself in thoughts of the love of his life…

_Adam’s expression, hot and hungry right before he kissed him off the planet at the AMAs; Adam laughing at Tommy’s attempts to master a body roll on the band bus during a drunken game of truth and dare back during GlamNation; that fond smile during the acoustic promo tour for Trespassing as Adam told the audience he had a way with kitties; every single Fever kiss…fierce hugs after Tommy’s dad died; the mornings waking up by Adam’s side…the way Adam licked his lips; Adam on stage…vibrant and so alive…_

_Image after image, layer after layer, Adam filled his head completely…_

_Love of my life…_

As the final notes faded to leave the air perfectly still, Tommy suddenly realised his cheeks were wet and he brushed the tears aside, rising to his feet to give them a heartfelt standing ovation.

Adam bounded off the stage and folded him into a tight hug, pressing a soft kiss to Tommy’s temple “you still surprise me at every turn _Tommy Joe…_ ”

Rejoining the others up on the stage, they discussed the setlist for the Sunshine Club gig, Brian insisting that they include _Love of my life_ so Tommy had the chance to play it. With the list finalised, they ended up with _7 seas of Rhye, We will rock you, Don’t stop me now, I want to break free, Who wants to live forever, Love of my life, Dragon Attack, Bo Rap,_ closing with _We are the Champions._

They followed the discussion with a run through of those tunes on the Sunshine setlist they hadn’t already played and broke for lunch. Tommy was on an adrenalin high and discussed riffs, harmonies and guitar design enthusiastically and in mind boggling depth with Brian. Leant back against Adam’s chest as they sat on the floor, Tommy grinned happily… _his life rocked right now!_

After lunch, Tommy took himself off to the dressing room to practice his Queen tunes alone as everyone else got on with rehearsal for the concert that evening. Several plays of _Love of my life_ later he dropped into the easy chair and dug out his phone to send a series of deliriously happy and rambling messages to Brad, Sutan, Mike, Isaac and Liz.

“D’you know what the fucking time is?” An almost instant reply from Mike had him snickering; Mike still had his bugle blast text alert and had obviously not turned his phone off again! A second message buzzed “Stoked for you tho, love you fucker – now piss off and let me sleep!” The row of smiley faces suggested Mike was indeed thrilled for him, even at 4am!

Leaning back in the chair, Tommy indulged in some quality day dreaming until Adam bounced into the room an hour later.

With the stage set, they returned to the hotel for some down time before the evening. Tucking their hair tightly under baseball caps in an attempt at basic disguise, Adam and Tommy went for a stroll around the local park. It was sunny and humid, but peaceful, and they passed muster without attracting a second glance.

Tommy thoroughly enjoyed the concert, drinking in the atmosphere and revelling in the screams, enthusiasm and love flowing from the capacity crowd. Poland rocked to the beat…

The following morning was a swift pack up and dash to the airport to catch their flight back to London. Adam was like a cat on hot bricks, nervously checking itunes for the latest stats for _Never Close Our Eyes_ which was being released back home that day.

He needn’t have worried – it was selling well and the fans were downloading and gifting with very obvious passion, the single climbing steadily up the US charts.

Everyone was tired, but in high spirits, when they finally made it back to their UK hotel. By common agreement, there was no rehearsal today, just a fun and laughter-filled group dinner in Brian’s suite which drifted late into the evening as they shared wild and crazy tales of life on tour…

The Tuesday was spent in rehearsal, Tommy playing some and watching others. He spent some time with the sound engineers as well, learning the ropes from the technical side of the shows.

Adam left the afternoon session early to go and meet Sauli at the airport, the happy smile of anticipation on his face sparking the familiar mix of bittersweet ache and tender warmth in Tommy’s belly. It was complicated, but as always, his love for Adam won out… _he’s happy so I’m happy…_

Tommy and Brian made the most of their time whilst Adam was away, sharing the stage and working new riffs and harmonies for some of the tracks they were due to play the next day. Finally happy with their set, they indulged in a jam session which included _Sleepwalker_ , _Killer Queen, Friends will be friends, Driven by you_ and _Princes of the Universe._ Tommy was having the time of his life…

Adam had a Capital FM live telephone interview at half seven that evening, taking himself across the corridor to Tommy’s room to leave Sauli and Tommy chilling in Adam’s room and listening in on the radio.

Sauli radiated the same glow and energy that Adam had displayed when he’d bounced into Brian’s suite earlier to announce their return, suggesting the lovers had found time for a tender reunion session. Tommy couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to be loved by Adam, his brain helpfully replaying their one drunken foray in Amsterdam as his blood supply diverted in a southerly direction… _fuck…_

Shifting in his chair to cover the fact his skinny jeans were now straining uncomfortably at the seams, he tried not to stare at the fresh purple bruise lurking just below the collar of Sauli’s top which was visible every time he waved his hands as he talked excitedly about his model shoot during the breaks in Adam’s interview. Wistful longing surged through Tommy’s being and he caught his breath at the intensity of the emotion… _you have his friendship…he loves you…be content with what you have…_

“Tommy?”

“Huh?” Tommy jumped as Sauli tapped his knee. “Sorry! Zoned out a bit there!” He blushed as Sauli raised a questioning eyebrow, hurriedly reminding himself that there was no way Sauli could read his mind… The shock of that very possibility, however, was enough to restore normal circulation!

“What are you thinking of Adam’s new jacket?”

Tommy grinned at the image of Adam modelling his new Blond’s red leather and fur fabric jacket. “He looks like Elmo!”

“What is Elmo?”

Dragging Adam’s laptop closer, Tommy opened a new tab and called up images of Sesame Street’s famous red resident. “Sauli, meet Elmo!” They looked at each other and burst into a fit of giggles, laughter which intensified as Adam rejoined them having finished his interview, still wearing the jacket in question.

Adam’s puzzled expression as he found his boyfriend and best friend collapsed in hysterical mirth merely added to their hilarity and it was several minutes before Tommy was able to gasp _“Elmo!”_ and gesture weakly towards the open laptop.

Adam’s delighted laughter echoed alongside their own as he dropped in between them and smothered them both in the super-soft red furry arms of his jacket.

The evening passed swiftly and Tommy slipped across to his room just on midnight to fall into a relaxed and satisfying sleep. His phone beeped several times in the night but he didn’t wake, his insomnia, for the moment, conquered.

Show day dawned grey and uninviting. Tommy stretched luxuriously and stared up at the ceiling; how much had his life changed from his crappy job in that faceless call centre… _and it’s all thanks to Adam…_ now he was living his dream and was going to be on stage, _tonight,_ with _Queen!_

 _Thank you, Adam_ …Tommy’s fingers crept inside his boxers as his blood rushed south…

After fully exploring his deepest appreciative thoughts of Adam with some energetic hand action, Tommy staggered into the shower to revive his boneless limbs, emerging clean and glowing with a contented grin on his face.

Finally dressed, he flopped back onto his bed and grabbed his phone. He had messages from Brad, Sutan, Isaac and Liz. Three of the four were made up for him, those messages full of congratulations and ‘break a fuckin’ leg, dude’ kinda thing.

Liz’s message was filled with bitter recriminations about him being too busy following Adam around like a fawning puppy to remember to text or call his girlfriend, her pointed sign off “at least _one_ of us is having a good time whilst the other is doing the responsible thing and working…and we know which one _you_ are!” sending an angry scowl across his face. He considered a sarcastic response; even started typing it, before deciding it wasn’t worth it. If that’s what she thought about his music then screw her – and he didn’t mean that literally!

Dismissing Liz’s rant, Tommy’s happy smile returned and he was considering what to do about breakfast when his room phone rang, his grin widening as he accepted Brian’s invitation to join them for a traditional English in their suite.

Talking the history of rock and blues over a delicious and hearty plate of bacon and eggs, Tommy revelled in the opportunity to spend time with these amazing men and share in their experiences of the incredible world of the music industry. Brian grinned after Tommy choked on his orange juice at one of the more saucy stories, patting him on the back with a gentle chuckle “Freddie would’ve liked you; you’ve got that spark about you…you’ll do him proud tonight…”

Blushing, Tommy got up and shook their hands, after arranging to meet Rufus in the lobby in half an hour. They were going to the Sunshine Club to meet some of the children who would be coming to the performance later that evening, taking a load of t-shirts and Queen flags that had been created especially for this event.

As he reached the door Roger called him back, throwing a balled up bundle of fabric at his head. “You’ll need this for tonight!” Catching it, Tommy’s mouth formed the familiar goldfish circle as the black top with Queen design in glittering diamante unfolded in his hands.

“Wow! It’s awesome!” Tommy’s heart fluttered happily as he realised it was the same design as Adam’s silver grey one… Spluttering his thanks, he hurried back to his room to hang it up carefully, grabbed his jacket and headed down to the lobby.

The car was waiting for them and having loaded the box of shirts and flags, they set off for Belgravia.

Tommy and Rufus had a fun day, playing soccer and tennis with different groups of children and sitting down for a picnic lunch as some of them played their toy instruments to entertain their visitors. When the car returned at four o’clock, there were mass group hugs and smiles. It was another day Tommy would never forget.

Stretched out on his bed scrolling through his feed, Tommy caught up with Adam’s Twitter party, grinning at some of the more outlandish questions and comments. He was still chuckling when Sauli knocked on the door to collect him for a bite to eat with him and Adam before they headed out to the Apollo. Swapping news of their day, Tommy noted several new purple bruises on Sauli’s neckline and the frequent soft touches between the pair, surmising they’d spent at least some of their day following more intimate pursuits than playing on social media!

He quashed the green goblins the moment they appeared… _Adam’s happy…_

One glance at the dreamy expression on Adam's face every time he looked at Sauli; Adam wasn't _just_ happy, he was the happiest Tommy had ever seen him...

After another shower and a swift application of eyeliner and lip gloss, Tommy slipped into his Queen shirt and the new jeans he’d bought that morning on the minor detour he’d requested en route to the Sunshine Club. After diving into a music store where he’d snapped up a dozen copies of the newly-released-in-the-UK _Trespassing_ album; one for each of the Queen band and crew, Rufus had dragged him next door into H &M to buy a top he’d admired in the window. As Rufus chatted up the sales assistant, Tommy had wandered around the store and ended up getting himself a couple of pairs of jeans.

Checking his face in the mirror, Tommy grinned at his reflection and picked up his jacket. Moments later they were in the cars on their way to the venue.

The show was amazing and Tommy tried to commit every second to memory, back to back with Adam in _We will rock you_ and a version of duelling guitars with Brian in the bridge between _Don’t stop me now_ and _I want to break free_. The experience surpassed his wildest dreams and the grin didn’t move from his face the whole night, spilling into delighted laughter when Adam skipped off the stage after _Love of my life_ to return moments later in the opening bars of _Dragon Attack_ wearing his new ‘Elmo’ jacket.

All too soon they were lining up for a final bow, Brian’s thanks to their “special guest and wonderfully talented guitarist _Mr Tommy Joe Ratliff”_ still ringing in his ears.

Right now, Tommy was on top of the world…


	8. Chapter 8

Tommy was still on a high the next morning, the memories warm and vibrant rolling through his head as he lay stretched out after his shower and re-lived every moment.

“You ready, Tommy Joe?”

Adam’s voice from the doorway had him leaping up from the bed, the towel dropping from around his waist to leave him displaying his nakedness as colour flooded his face _“Fuck!_ You could’ve knocked! _”_

“I did! Twice! Adam grinned “you _did_ give me a key!” He moved several paces into the room as if drawn by an invisible thread.

Grabbing at the edge of the quilt to cover his exposed flesh, Tommy gasped at the heat in Adam’s eyes, his gaze roving hungrily over Tommy’s milky white skin, the horror tat sleeve standing out in bold contrast against the paleness of his body.

Their eyes met and for a split second there was something akin to a volcanic eruption between them, a connection that left an electric charge buzzing under Tommy’s skin and a feral desire to hurl himself into Adam’s arms and suck his face off…

The look was gone in an instant and Adam backed away, dragging his eyes from the tantalising vision in front of him. “I’ll, er…we’ll…”

“Give me five minutes, yeah?” The spell was broken, Tommy’s hoarse whisper echoing across the vast space that had suddenly materialised.

“Yeah! Sorry to barge in…”

“We’re cool, right?” Tommy’s voice held a note of panic and his hands tightened their grip on the quilt.

Adam paused in the doorway and looked back over his shoulder “Always, Glitterbaby… _always…_ ” he smiled, his eyes full of fondness “and for the record; you’re beautiful!” He closed the door quietly behind him leaving Tommy open mouthed at his parting comment.

Five minutes later, dressed, and feeling slightly nervous, Tommy tapped on Adam’s door.

“Tommy!” Sauli beamed at him “you are ready now! Let’s go eat!” Spinning Tommy around in the hallway, he propelled him energetically towards the elevators, calling back to Adam who was yet to appear. “We go without you, Kultsi!”

Laughing behind them, Adam stretched his long legs and easily caught them up before the elevator had arrived. Draping an arm around their shoulders, he pressed a soft kiss to each of their temples “My boys!”

Tommy and Sauli swapped glances and, as one, attacked Adam’s sides to tickle him into a heap of helpless giggles just as the elevator arrived. Sauli hi-fived Tommy and they helped a gurgling Adam into the empty lift.     

Several floors down they were joined by a well-dressed, middle aged couple who looked less than impressed by the three crumpled and laughing men who were a tangled mass of limbs leant against the back wall.

Adam struggled to his feet, gasping, as Sauli turned a gleaming smile on their fellow travellers “Apologies, my siippa is very ticklish!” He turned a snort of laughter into a cough at the disapproving frown from the couple who promptly pushed the button for the next floor, exiting to bursts of giggles from the three remaining occupants.

Considerately, Sauli and Tommy allowed Adam to regain his breath and bearing by the time they reached the third floor dining room and he was able to walk tall once more as they were shown to a table by the window with views out over the city.

Over breakfast they discussed their plans for the early part of the day. Tommy declined the offer to accompany them on the London Eye, the memories of the last time he’d been here still too raw and he wasn’t about to play gooseberry to the loved-up pair, which would merely add further anguish to his memory of that particular landmark.

“Have fun, guys; I’m going to Denmark Street with Rufus…see what trouble we can get ourselves into there!” His brown eyes sparkled with anticipation as they toasted each other with finest bone china. After arranging to meet at half past three for afternoon tea, Tommy placed a hand over each of theirs and squeezed gently, exiting the dining room quickly before he fell apart… _so many conflicting emotions…fuck! Get a grip Ratliff!_

Rufus was waiting for him in the lobby, grinning a greeting as they headed out to grab a car to take them to Denmark Street. As it happened, their driver, Ray, was a huge music fan and happily shared some of his knowledge of this rather special place with them.

“Fondly known as Britain’s Tin Pan Alley, the name it acquired in the twenties, in the 1950s and 60s it was where all songwriters and publishers of note would gather, and in the late 1950s, in the cafes around the street, Lionel Bart, the writer of the musical Oliver!, heard the latest R&B brought over by young London Merchant Navy men and was then inspired to write early British Rock and Roll hits for the resident publishers of Denmark Street.

In 1964 The Rolling Stones recorded their first album at Regent Sounds Studios and regular Denmark Street session musicians of the sixties saw names that included Jimmy Page, Big Jim Sullivan, Colin Falconer, Ray Smith, Geoff Livingstone and Jerry Donahue. Donovan and Jimi Hendrix both made their first recordings at Regent Sounds Studios…” Ray paused, “is this the kind of stuff you want to hear?”

He grinned as two heads nodded enthusiastically in his rear view mirror, as he continued. “It’s said that The Beatles’ George Harrison, bought a nylon string acoustic guitar on Denmark Street to play on the song _Till There Was You_ on their album ‘With The Beatles’ and then in 1970 Elton John wrote _Your Song_ , which became his first hit single, on the rooftops of Denmark Street and he mentioned the street again in his mid-seventies song _Bitter Fingers_ from his concept album ‘Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy’.

It’s also the name of a song on the Kinks' 1970 album ‘Lola versus Powerman and the Money-go-round, Part One’ and the famous studios have seen the likes of Stevie Wonder, David Bowie and Bob Marley over the years…

The Sex Pistols had a basement rehearsal studio here, which their manager, Malcolm McLaren had bought from Badfinger, and commissioned architect Ben Kelly to refurbish.” He chuckled, “oh, it was all happening here in those days!

Scott Gorham bought his first guitar with Thin Lizzy on Denmark Street. He had turned up at the audition with a Japanese Les Paul copy and when he got the job, Phil Lynott took him shopping on Denmark Street, where he bought a Sunburst Gibson Les Paul Deluxe…I love that story! It’s the guitar he went on to use for most of his time with the band.

Moving into the 1980s now, and the promo music video of the 1988 Moody Blues song _I Know You're Out There Somewhere_ shows a man walking along Denmark Street and then picking up a guitar in one of the shops.

Then a little more recently, in the 2000s, Denmark Street is mentioned in Jamie T's track _368_ on the album ‘Kings and Queens’ and the street is still home to those in the industry today; Cormoran Strike, the protagonist of Robert Galbraith's The Cuckoo's Calling, has his office on Denmark Street and last year they revived the legendary recording facility, Denmark Street Studios…”

Indicating to pull over, Ray turned in his seat. “Right, gents, that’s us arrived. You have a fun time and call me when you want picking up again…” He handed Rufus a business card. “If I was twenty years or so younger, I might’ve wanted to tag along to re-live some of the old glory days…” 

He waved aside the folded note Tommy offered as a tip “you keep your money, son, just go and enjoy the street for me and share your stories of it on our way home…” A smile danced in old eyes, “now get going!”

Tommy and Rufus watched as the car eased out into the traffic and was slowly lost to sight. “He’s one awesome old man!” Tommy bounced excitedly “where first?”

They fell in love with the ethos of the street immediately, lively chatter and music bubbling out of every building like scents on a breeze and they were absorbed into another world where bygone times blended effortlessly with modern advances and, here, music was born…

Tommy was thrilled to find a collection of Queen and Hendrix albums on original vinyl and parted happily with a stack of cash, adding a _Denmark Street_ holdall to his pile of purchases to carry it all.

They lingered in a massive music store, checking out the instruments and watching as potential buyers burst into impromptu song or music as if inspired by something in the air… “C’mon, quick!” Rufus grabbed Tommy’s sleeve and threaded through the crowds as the current ‘entertainers’ sadly replaced their instruments of choice and moved on. The crowds barely dispersed – there were always newcomers to the fore…

Dropping onto the stool, Rufus set up an infectious drum, cymbal, foot-tappin’ beat, nodding at Tommy to pick up a guitar “ _Riders on the storm_ ” he grinned “you know you want to!”

Sliding the strap over his shoulder, Tommy checked the tuning, it wasn’t perfect, but, for a spur-of-the-moment jam, it’d do the job! He matched Rufus’ beat and they let themselves go, grinning madly when a red headed, bespectacled bloke grabbed a mic and leapt in with a surprisingly good voice, to sing the lyrics. He obviously knew his _Doors_ because he was word perfect and the three of them let it fly.

“Rolling Stones’ _Paint it Black_?” their new singer suggested as the crowd chanted _more more more…_ Picking up the beat, they threw themselves into it as the crowd around them swelled. It was wild and badass and felt so fucking good!

Grinning breathlessly after the final notes, red-head swung around to face them “you guys are good! You wanna try some Hendrix? _Purple Haze_?” He turned away without waiting for an answer, missing the tumbling mass of emotions as they chased across Tommy’s face.

_Purple Haze was Adam’s…Adam’s and his…from Amsterdam…fuck that was hot…and then that night…that was when…his only taste of what it would be like to be with Adam…_

“Hey, blondie! We doin’ this?” red-head was frowning now.

“Um, nope! I’m done…someone else’s turn to rock!” Tommy took the Fender off quickly and handed it to a chubby teenager with incredible acne and a body odour that would’ve pole-axed an elephant. Grabbing his holdall, Tommy pushed through the crowd, numerous pats on the back and murmured “you rocked it, man! comments as he passed.

Finally hitting clear space, he took a deep breath to calm his trembling limbs and leant against a stand of The Beach Boys’ sheet music, bag at his feet.

“Tommy, you okay?” Rufus joined him moments later.

“Yeah, ‘m good!” Tommy picked up his holdall, “we ready to move on?”

“You sure you’re okay? You went white as a sheet when that kid suggested _Purple Haze…_ ” He paused, choosing his words carefully “you’ve played that with Adam before?”

“Yeah…” Tommy sighed heavily, the weight of pent-up emotions and memories captured in that one sound. “I love the song…” his voice trailed away and he picked absently at his fingernails.

“Hey, no worries, man! ‘s long as you’re…”

“I _do_ love that song, but it’s got _memories_ attached so I can’t hear anyone but Adam sing it now…”

“Sap!” Rufus nudged Tommy’s shoulder, grinning, the tone teasing.

“Fucker!” Tommy’s tone equally teasing “let’s get outta here!”

They grabbed a burger off a street stand and wandered further into the mass of stalls and shops.

Rufus held up a battered copy of ‘Fun in Space’ his dad’s first solo album “I gotta get this! The old man’ll be made up!”

Dropping onto a low stone wall to watch another group of performers, a modern ‘Diversity-type’ dance troupe, Tommy rang Ray and requested the car. Time was getting on and they had to get back by three to meet the others…

Their final purchase was a screen-print t-shirt each, with faded-effect lettering and an overlay of the street name on top of different genres of music, instruments and musical notes. Tommy went for his traditional black, whilst Rufus chose blue. Content, they made their way back to where they’d arranged to meet Ray.

Recounting the story of their morning and store performance to Adam and Sauli over tea and cakes – such a very English thing to do – Tommy blushed at the memory of his reaction to _Purple Haze_ , adding hurriedly “it was just like something off Glee!” before Adam could question him about the rising colour on his cheeks.

By the time they’d explained ‘Glee’ to Sauli, it was time to grab their gear and head to the venue. Sauli and Tommy were going to be in the VIP area tonight with Shoshanna to mingle and represent Adam; then in the general audience for the final two performances, wanting to experience the full effect as a member of the crowd…

The arena was full to capacity and the energy rolling off the audience was a living, breathing thing…

As the smoke cleared after the intro, the only thing to say was that Queen and Adam rocked the fuck out of their amazing setlist…

Everyone was on a natural high after the final encore and the audience continued to cheer long after they’d left the stage, the wait now to see what the reporters and critics made of it.

Most were complimentary, many glowing in their write-ups, with a few purists handing out pointed barbs at the lack of a _live_ Freddie…those people were obviously never going to be satisfied!

Reviews read, everyone relaxed now; drinks were shared and toasts made and they hit their beds happy…

Tommy woke to his phone beeping repeatedly, a flurry of messages filling his inbox. Stretching luxuriously, he rolled onto his tummy and grabbed the offending tech. Mike, Brad and Sutan had obviously been checking out the reviews and had copied their messages sent to Adam for Tommy as well. The others were alerting him to yet another vicious troll attack on his Twitter and Facebook.

Swearing under his breath, he steeled himself to look. The first thing he saw was a mass outpouring of love and support from his loyal fans, easing the sting of the hate when he finally reached it. It was a picture of him wearing his VIP wristband, he was holding a drink and stood slightly back from the small group formed by Adam, Sauli, Brian and Roger. The delightful comment suggested that as a slimy, clinging hanger-on who was only there for the free ride, he should do the decent thing and kill himself as Adam and Sauli clearly didn’t want him there!

Of course, the picture didn’t show that Tommy was talking to the CEO of the Sunshine Club who was thanking him for the efforts put into the day they’d spent with the children and asking if Tommy would sign up as a patron… _of course_ there’s no way troll-face would see that!   

Another message beeped. Sighing, Tommy opened it, his frown morphing into a huge smile as Adam and Sauli suggested the troll go fuck herself! Such thoughts were just for him, though, and not to be shared with the sad human being who didn’t deserve such attention!

Tommy spent twenty minutes adding _like_ to some fan comments on Facebook and retweeting others on Twitter before rolling out of bed and into the shower. Today was a working day for the band, with practice and a few things to tweak from last night, so he and Sauli had arranged to do a little more sight seeing, starting with a Thames river cruise.

It was another fun day and not for the first time, Tommy appreciated exactly what it was that Adam loved in Sauli… _the familiar bittersweet ache twisted his stomach, but ultimately, he was happy for both these amazing men…_

After a brief spell backstage, they took their seats in the main arena. The atmosphere was phenomenal and love flowed in waves from the farthest reaches of the massive venue.  

Sauli and Tommy both took pictures of the crowds, leaning back over their seats to try and capture the vastness of the venue. As they sat down again, a polite fan requested a picture of the two of them. After taking one of her with Sauli and one of her with Tommy, she took a selfie of her with both of them, finally taking another with just the two men. As she thanked them, Sauli held his phone towards her “please to take one with Tommy and I?”

Retrieving his phone from the fan, Sauli thanked her and sat down, tapping swiftly on the keys. “Here, see!” He passed the phone to Tommy to show he’d posted the picture to his Instagram account, with the caption ‘Brothers’ and also tweeted the link for a wider coverage. “The troll can get lost! We have shown her, minun ystäväni” Sauli leant across and planted a kiss to Tommy’s cheek, grinning at the barely muffled shrieks behind them as the fans witnessed the tender friend’s moment. Now the report of that would join their own picture across the world of social media. One troll down!

The lights went down and the audience held its collective breath, waiting…Adam strutted out, clothed head to toe in tight-fitting black leather, with killer spikes on his shoulders and oozing sex from the roots of his hair to the heels on his high wedge boots. Grinning at Brian as they leant into each other, they unleashed the full power of the rock animal on an ecstatic and screaming capacity crowd…

“vittu että on kuuma!” Sauli muttered under his breath, one hand moving automatically to adjust his trousers.

He caught Tommy’s eye and grinned, fanning himself wildly “ _fucking hot!_ ”

Nodding, Tommy bumped shoulders with the Finn, “he’s on fire tonight…” _and pure sex on legs…_

Surrendering their souls to the music, they leant forward in their seats and watched, captivated, as Adam took his performance to another level…

Several times during the initial songs, Adam scanned the crowd as if searching for something, a delighted smile finally lighting his face as he spotted his two favourite people in the world, their eyes fixed on him, following his every move.

Holding their breath along with thousands of others, the tears rolled down Tommy’s and Sauli’s faces as the heart rending emotional delivery of _Who wants to live forever_ tore them to shreds. Wiping their eyes, they linked hands and leant against each other.

Smiles were restored when Adam once again appeared in his red ‘Elmo’ Blond’s jacket for _Dragon Attack_ , the audience loving it as he and Brian linked arms to stroll off the stage together at the end of the song. Reappearing, they played a bridge into _I want to break free_ , Adam moving purposefully to the front of the stage to point straight at his boyfriend to sing the line _I’ve fallen in love_ as his beautiful smile lit up the entire arena…

Tommy’s heart melted to see Adam so happy, the warmth from that smile eclipsing the familiar ache of unrequited love. As for Sauli, he was overwhelmed at the dedication and his smile matched Adam’s for brilliance, that grin broadening as Adam then jumped down into the audience to shake hands with some of them, ripping his leather trousers as he climbed out at the other end. Hilarity then ensued as he worked that into the lyrics and continued to rock their socks off.

 A  delayed change into one of Tommy’s favourite pairs of pants, the clinging black and glitter zebra pattern, followed as the main programme drew to an end, the late, great, Freddie Mercury joining them via recording on the big screen background for Bo Rap before the breathtaking encore and finale in an explosion of sound and fireworks.

Day two rocked off the planet…

The next morning was a late and leisurely start for all, nothing planned except a full band and crew dinner that evening. Tommy ordered room service for breakfast and spent most of the morning drooling over the mass of photos and videos posted by fans from the previous night.

Time after time, he returned to one picture in particular, where they’d captured Adam’s rapturous smile in the moment he’d pointed at Sauli… _I’ve fallen in love…_

It was quite simply the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen; everything about it screamed total and utter joy at being alive and in love – Adam’s smile was radiant and his eyes sparkled, his entire being glowed with happiness to light up the surrounding airspace.

As he stroked the image on the tiny screen on his phone, the constant churning battle of heartbreak versus happy-because-Adam’s-happy raged within him, his mood veering wildly from dark melancholy to resigned contentment and a scathing self-loathing for not appreciating what he had…     

Silent tears trickled down his cheeks and dripped onto the bedding. Finally giving in to the hurt of unattainable love, he curled into a ball around that precious picture and sobbed his heart out.

Long, long minutes later he was all cried out, limp and puffy-eyed, face down on soggy, tear-soaked bedsheets, but almost relieved that he’d let it out even if he did now feel like total crap and an ungrateful scumbag!

Adam’s voice outside his door had him scurrying into the bathroom to turn the shower on; no way was he going to let Adam see him in this state…

“Tommy Joe, hey, you decent?” the knock was repeated, louder this time, before the lock clicked and a head appeared cautiously around the door. “You in here, Glitterbaby?”

“In the shower!” Tommy shouted through the bathroom door, no intention of showing his face having caught a look at his reflection in the mirror which showed only too clearly the signs of recent emotional distress. How the fuck could he explain that? _I’m heartbroken because you’re happy and in love…oh and I actually really like your boyfriend because he’s an awesome person but I’m jealous as fuck…_ So, that was a conversation he was never going to have!

“You fancy coffee with us when you’re ready? I’ve not seen much of you…” There was a miniscule silence where both recalled the previous day’s nude encounter before Adam giggled “well, with your clothes on!”

Tommy’s tangled emotions were swept away with that beautiful sound and warmth settled once more in his belly. “Yeah, be cool…”

“Come across when you’re ready…”

“’kay!”

Half an hour later, the three of them were laughing over coffee and very British bacon sandwiches on the balcony of Adam and Sauli’s room. Tommy’s heart was at peace once more and not even the very obvious signs of recent passionate loving in the shape of fresh purple marks on both men could upset him. _Adam’s so happy and I love that he’s in love; that he’s got that emotional security he always wanted…_

The day passed in a pleasant blur of inactivity until they were heading down to the private dining room Brian and Roger had booked for the forty members of the band and crew. It was a fun and laughter-filled evening, informal with much mingling of all present and Tommy appreciated anew everything that Adam had done for him as he took in the awesome company surrounding him.

He’d been rendered speechless when Brian and Roger presented him with a professional DVD of his Sunshine Club performance, the cover shot of him back to back with Adam in front of the iconic _Queen_ drums… _how the fuck did I get to be so fucking lucky?_

Eyes awash with happy tears, Tommy flung himself on first Brian and then Roger and hugged them to death as he mumbled his thanks. Everyone laughed as Adam peeled Tommy off of Roger to wrap him into his own arms “hey, what about me!”

“ _Thankyouthankyouthankyou…”_

“Welcome, Glitterbaby!” Adam held him close as Tommy trembled in his embrace “you were awesome up there with us” he paused, burying his nose into Tommy’s apple scented pink hair “so we had to capture it forever…”

“I love you!” Tommy’s whispered words against his chest drew a happy smile to Adam’s face.

“Love you too, kitty…always…”  

It was a very contented Tommy who fell into his bed much later that night.

The final show day dawned in a flurry of activity as last minute souvenir shopping was procured, bags were packed and left open for those final items to be added in the morning; their flight was early the next day so everything had to be ready today as the likelihood was that they’d be heading to the airport straight from the after-party!

Tommy and Sauli spent the morning running errands for everyone else, laughing as they hopped from shop to shop with their lists like some weird treasure hunt. They stopped in a juice bar for some sustenance, Sauli attempting to convince him of the merits of supercharging his nutrient intake “…by feeding your body with pure micronutrients, vitamins and enzymes…” he rolled his eyes as Tommy’s expression glazed over “it’s got none of the bad shit that’s in your junk food! In other words, it is actually good for you!”

Tommy sipped at his mango, avocado, lime and cranberry juice warily, shuddering at the look of the slime green one Sauli accepted with a happy smile “I have missed these!” he took a large gulp as Tommy decided his wasn’t too bad at all and drank some more.    

Consulting their list as they finished their drinks, they had just two more ports of call and then back to the hotel. Collecting the awards statuettes from a tiny shop in one of the backstreets, Sauli crossed it off their list and they hiked the two heavy bags back to the where the car was waiting for them in a parking bay.

“Okay, last one!” Tommy closed the boot and rested his chin in the crook of Sauli’s shoulder “what we got?”

“It is for Roger; we must go to King’s Cross station for a long weight…” Sauli frowned, turning puzzled eyes towards Tommy who was doing his level best not to snigger “what is a long weight?”

“Hahaha!” Tommy couldn’t contain his laughter “Rog’s having a joke – there isn’t anything to get, he just wants us to go there and waste time!”

Sauli’s face registered complete confusion and Tommy tried to explain “It’s a play on words…he means _wait_!”

“What must we wait for?”

“Nothing!”

“Why would we wait for nothing?” Sauli shook his head “sometimes I do not understand the English!”

Tommy grinned and tugged on his sleeve “c’mon on, let’s get outta here and go find some lunch!”

After unloading their assorted bags and parcels, they settled on the balcony in Sauli’s room and enjoyed their lunch in the warm July sunshine, a companionable silence falling as each caught up with social media on their phones.

Tommy replied to messages from Isaac, Brad and Sutan and scrolled through Twitter. The troll had gone to ground for now after the several thousand retweets of the ‘brothers’ picture so he enjoyed an insult-free surfing session, finally checking his emails and replying to several from Mike, Mia, Alla and Brian.

Then it hit him. There was absolutely nothing from Liz. She hadn’t replied to his emails or texts.

And he wasn’t the slightest bit bothered…

Show three was beyond every superlative in the English language; the audience rode the wave of love and energy all the way from the very first note to the final encore and the cheers and applause continued long after the band had left the stage. This time Tommy and Sauli were sat amongst a large group of hardcore Queen fans, some of whom had seen every show of this mini-tour, and listened intently as they enthused to those of their companions who were there for the first time.

Watching the faces of the very vocal doubters change from distain and ‘convince me sucker’ to delight and hand-waving-singing-along-with-everything-they-had, was a thing of beauty and their hearts swelled with pride as the loudest doubter of all leant over to his friend between the last song and the encore “tell me we can get Lambert’s cds here, he’s actually fucking good!”

Bumping knuckles, Tommy and Sauli grinned at each other. Seemed no-one was immune from the _Lambert effect_!

The after-party was loud and emotional, high spirits of triumph and satisfaction tinged with sadness that this brief roller coaster had come to an end. Brian hugged Adam tightly as they prepared to leave “Thanks for the beautiful memories, Adam…” he smiled fondly “this isn’t the end, you know…I think we’ll be working together some more in the future. You’ve got my number…use it!”

“Make sure you do!” Roger clapped him on the back “we need more of this collaboration!”

Tommy’s tummy fluttered contentedly at the delight in Adam’s eyes, following him and Sauli out to the car after saying his own goodbyes and promising to keep in touch.

The flight home was long and tiring and he tossed and turned fitfully, alternating episodes of Castle with bursts of Gems Deluxe and prowling around the cabin. Adam and Sauli’s seats were at the very front of first class, both asleep, hands entwined and heads resting together, tiny smiles on their faces… Every time Tommy’s restless ambling took him past them, it stirred both his happy thoughts and prodded the aching void within him, making sleep even more impossible as the two emotions waged war…

Somewhere over the Atlantic, on his umpteenth pacing trip, Adam’s eyes flickered open, a gentle sleepy smile triggering a fierce blush on Tommy’s cheeks at having been caught out staring.

“Hey!” Adam mumbled, smothering a yawn. “You okay?”

Tommy shrugged lightly, “yeah…” The Lambert eyebrow arched and Tommy’s colour deepened “’m fine!” he studied his boots to avoid the searching look from those blue eyes he loved so much “ _really…_ I just can’t sleep so I’m…um…er…keeping busy” he finished lamely.

“Tommy Joe, look at me!” Adam suppressed a grin “Prowling and muttering and stopping to gaze at me every five circuits isn’t keeping busy!”

“Fuck! ‘m sorry dude, I didn’t mean to disturb you…you just looked so peaceful and…” _I wanted to be the one cuddled into you…_

Carefully untangling his hand from Sauli’s so he didn’t wake him, Adam eased up from his seat and joined Tommy in the aisle, wrapping him into a tight hug. Tommy clung on, snuffling a little as Adam stroked his hair. “Better?”

“Yeah” Tommy immersed himself in everything _Adam_ and the world immediately righted itself.

Without loosening his hold, Adam shuffled forward to the lounge area and eased them down onto the easy chair, Tommy settling into his lap with his head tucked under Adam’s chin. They talked quietly about the upcoming radio road-show concerts and the Pretty Little Liars recording still to come. Despite his excitement for all these events, Tommy felt his eyes closing. Warm and comfortable, he curled in closer and drifted into sleep.

After drinking a cup of tea the stewardess brought him, Adam’s eyes slid closed and he joined Tommy and Sauli in slumber as the plane flew onwards.

He woke to a gentle shake of his shoulder as the steward looked apologetic “sorry, Mr Lambert, but we’re about to start our descent and I need you to go back to your seats now…”

Tommy mumbled into Adam’s chest, not quite awake yet and looking quite adorable as he ran his fingers through his hair. Adam chuckled fondly “you think you can go back to your seat okay?”

“yeah…mmn…thank you…” Tommy yawned sleepily and slid off Adam’s lap, stumbling back to his seat to wake up in his own time.

Adam stretched and went back to his own seat. Sauli was still asleep, the tiny blond Finn curled into a ball under the blanket. He stirred as Adam sat down, smiling drowsily as Adam once again entwined their fingers and pressed a gentle kiss to his boyfriend’s lips “ _rakastan Sauli,_ go back to sleep… _”_

By the time they’d landed, reclaimed their luggage and made their way out to the car, all three were wide awake and lively discussion ensued as they re-lived their favourite moments of the past few days. The journey from the airport to Burbank flew by and with fierce hugs all round, Tommy was deposited at the edge of the kerb outside his building.

As the car vanished into the distance, Tommy made his way up to his apartment and flopped onto his bed. With the option of unpacking or catching up on Twitter and Facebook it was no contest and he was quickly immersed in the latest happenings in the wild world of social media.

A pleasant hour passed and he’d swapped tweets with Terrance, answered a few questions on Facebook and retweeted a dozen or so links to some cracking YouTubes from the Hammersmith concerts. Switching to his emails he opened one from Liz. So, she'd finally stopped sulking and replied!

“TJ.

Assume you made it back home. I’ve got my band sorted out now. I don’t need you or your childish adoration of Adam whom it seems can do no wrong. Well, he’s not a god and he can screw things up – like our relationship. As long as you go running every time he clicks his fingers we are never going to work. I need someone I can rely on.

BTW I’ve unfollowed you on Twitter and deleted you on my FB and in my phone. Anything you have to say can be done through Alla. Strangely, she isn’t pissed off with you like I am, but then her boyfriend…I mean her _fiancé,_ didn’t abandon her to go gallivanting around the world with his boss!

Liz”

Tommy read it twice and blinked.

Then he laughed.

_Welcome home Ratliff!_


	9. Chapter 9

His phone blasting _Slow Ride_ from his pocket drew a grin as he thumbed answer.

“Alla! How’s the mediation business going!”

“Hey Teej! I’m guessing you’ve seen the email from Liz then?”

“Oh yeah! She really gave me both barrels this time!” He paused thoughtfully “ _and_ she said my loyalty to Adam was childish…”

“She’s _jealous_ of the hold he has on you!” Alla sighed “I keep telling her there’s nothing going on and he’s head over heels for Sauli, but she’s convinced you’d jump into bed with him given half a chance!”

 _Fuck!_ Tommy said nothing as she paused, wondering what was coming next.

“We were hammered when she sent that message…not that there’s any excuse” she added hurriedly “but we were celebrating the final line-up for her band, and I’ve just started working on the new stuff for Halo Circus so we were in a bit of a hyper mood…” her voice trailed away and Tommy found himself grinning as he recalled several of Alla’s celebration sessions!

“Tequila?”

“Of course! And some peculiar liqueur stuff Matt had last Christmas; no idea what it was but we were up for it and it tasted okay…” she groaned “I should say it tasted okay _at the time…_ Five the next morning, it wasn’t so great!”

“Ouch!” he chuckled, knowing from experience exactly what she was talking about. Alla’s drinking parties were legendary! “So are we okay, you and me? I don’t want to piss you off like…”

“We’re cool, Teej, and Liz is really sorry about that email. She’s been sobbing in my ear ever since…” Her voice softened “I don’t know how it is with you guys but she really likes you and she’s a softie inside once you ignore the hard-nosed bitch act she puts on!”

“I’ll give it a few days and call her, always assuming she’ll answer as, apparently, she’s deleted my number!” Tommy sighed “I’ll try and make peace before I run away with my boss again! We’re on the road until the end of the month and then we’ve got two days filming at the beginning of August so she’ll have plenty to moan about!”

“You’re a good man, Tommy Ratliff!”

“Yeah, whatever!”

“Come see us before you go?”

“I’ve got some Scotch for you so, yeah, count me in for a brew tomorrow…no idea what time as we’ve got band practice…”

“Thanks, Teej and the coffee’ll be on! Love ya!”

“Hahaha I know, cupboard love! See you tomorrow!” Tommy laughed and hung up.

Moving to his case, he unpacked rapidly, setting aside the two bottles of whiskey he’d bought; the Talisker was for Mike who would appreciate the 18 year old rich smoky liquor from the only distillery on the Isle of Skye and which came via a personal recommendation from Rock Royalty! The bottle of Ledaig was for Alla and Matt as a belated gift to celebrate their nuptials.

Most of Tommy’s clothes went in the washer, but he was careful to fold or hang the few clean items as he put them away, seeing Sauli’s sunshine smile in his head as he looked around his tidy room…Mike’d have a coronary when he saw it so neat – just as well he had some medicinal alcohol handy!

 He spent the rest of the day lounging, eating junk and catching up on his TV shows with every intention of cooking dinner for Mike and Tanya, until a message from his life partner had him grabbing his jacket and bounding down the stairs, jetlag be damned!

Sutan was waiting in his car, gasping when a whirlwind in the shape of a tiny, pink haired, tattoo wielding guitarist landed in his lap and hugged the life out of him. “I’ve missed you, sooooo much boo!” Tommy nuzzled into Sutan’s neck, wriggling further into the embrace despite the steering wheel digging into his spine.

“Me too, Vayvee!” Sutan was still somewhat breathless. “Shall we go to the club? You can show me your DVD and tell me all about your trip…and I mean _all…_ ” He raised a beautifully coiffured eyebrow as Tommy blushed “yeah, Vayvee, _those_ are _exactly_ the details you need to share with me!”

Laid back with his head in Sutan’s lap, Tommy re-lived his roller-coaster few days, concluding wistfully that Adam was happier than he’d ever seen him and Sauli was perfect for him… _if he can’t be with me that is…_ Sutan hugged him close and they toasted life, love and pretty boys…

Tommy was delightfully tipsy and at peace with the world when Sutan delivered him home to an amused Mike, who suddenly found himself with an armful of affectionate, clinging roomate.

“’m home, you miss me?” Tommy giggled as Mike’s unshaven stubble tickled his cheek.

Peeling Tommy off him after a tight squeeze and dropping him gently into the armchair, Mike grinned. “It was quiet!” he chuckled as Tommy pouted “yeah, we missed you!”

“Right answer!” Tommy bounced out of the chair and vanished into his room, reappearing almost immediately with the bottle of Talisker in one hand and a bottle of Hanae Mori _Butterfly_ scent for Tanya in the other.

“For my bestest roomie! Roger says this is the best fucking whiskey on earth…” Thrusting the bottle at Mike, Tommy headed out to the kitchen and the loud shriek suggested he’d found Tanya.

The blend of jetlag, alcohol and a rather delicious Mexican Chilli Chicken dinner saw Tommy crawling off to bed at the uncharacteristically early hour of nine o’clock. Once between the sheets he combined the memory of Amsterdam with the heated look in Adam’s eyes as he’d gazed at Tommy’s naked body in London…a few firm strokes bringing him to a blissful gasped release under the covers. Sated, he fell asleep straight away.

It was early morning when Tommy woke, rather regretting he’d been too out of it to clean himself up the previous night. Cursing under his breath, he limped carefully to the bathroom and got into the shower with his boxer briefs still on, loosening their iron grip on his junk with the addition of shower gel and warm water. It wasn’t surprising then, that the repeated handling of that sensitive body part and the image of Adam’s face radiating in his head, led to another session with his right hand and he was glowing and weak at the knees when he finally made it back to his room to get dressed.

His face lit up like a five year old’s on Christmas morning when Adam’s message beeped on his phone “your carriage awaits you, Tommy Joe!” and he grabbed his guitar case, lingering just long enough to give Mike the finger as he made kissy kissy faces and mimed a beautiful swoon princess from the kitchen doorway.

“Later, fucker!”

Mike laughed and returned the gesture good humouredly. “Good to have you back!” They both knew he didn’t mean from his travels to London…

Adam was waiting for him in their usual place and Tommy slid into the car with a happy smile on his face. As soon as he’d clicked his seatbelt on, Adam headed towards their favourite coffee bar for the morning ritual caffeine intake… _their routine…this is just mine and Adam’s…_ his butterflies gathered in happy anticipation…

After coffee and cinnamon maple doughnuts, Tommy was ready to take on the world and even the addition of several new purple bruises around Adam’s throat couldn’t dampen his enthusiasm to be making music again with his most favourite people in the universe. They had a full run-through, tweaking and extending here and there, but sticking mainly to the established setlist.

It was hard work, but fun, and it was a contented Tommy who crashed onto the sofa to watch some more Breaking Bad with a bowl of tortilla chips and a bottle of beer… When Mike and Tanya came home just after midnight, Tommy was stretched out, snoring softly with his mouth open.

Mike captured the charming image on his phone before draping a blanket over him and leaving him to sleep.

The next couple of days flew by, a heady mix of rehearsals, lunches, more discussion sessions with Brian for their own music and some other exciting opportunities for Tommy to consider… It was a full and busy life but Tommy was revelling in every minute of it.

He hadn’t phoned Liz in the end, finding her already at Alla’s when he’d called in for coffee as arranged…a coincidence he accepted with an arched eyebrow at his hostess as she relieved him of the bottle of Ledaig with a smile and a kiss on the cheek.

As Alla went to get Tommy a coffee, he was left alone with an unusually quiet and contrite Liz who addressed her boots the entire time she apologised repeatedly for her unfair outburst and ranting.

Tommy shrugged when she finally met his eyes, told her not to worry and he’d catch up with her again soon when he got back from his next set of gigs with Adam…”my _boss_!” he emphasised clearly, relenting when she blushed scarlet and fiddled with her bracelet. “It’s okay, we’re cool Hill, but I will _always_ go when Adam calls so we’re best off as friends rather than dating…” He grinned as she nodded and they both jumped when Alla breezed back into the room, talking cheerily in way too loud a voice…

“She was listening wasn’t she?” he mouthed as Alla turned away to put the coffee jug down.

Liz nodded agreement “she cares about us…” she whispered back to him.

“I know! Friends then?” They clunked mugs and the discussion moved on to bands, music and radio airplay. Tommy hugged them both hard when he took his leave, citing a need to pack before his dinner date with Brad.

Costa Mesa was a great gig, the crowds really digging the songs, hollering loudly for more as they trooped off the stage after their encore. Adam was charming, as ever, in his backstage interviews and posed patiently and with good grace for seemingly endless numbers of excited fans before joining the band for a few long cool drinks. Then they were back on the road for the 107.9FM Radio Endfest to do it all over again the next night before moving on to Fantasy Springs.

Sauli was in reception to meet Adam as they checked into the hotel at Fantasy Springs in the early hours, rushing to hug Tommy first, much to Isaac’s amusement at the fond-mixed-with-comic-indignation expression on Adam’s face!

Once everyone was issued with room keys they said a cheery goodnight and took themselves off to bed.

Part of Tommy wished he’d elected to share a room with Isaac as they’d done on the GNT but it was too late to change his mind now and he settled for sending a message to Sutan and Mike, remembering belatedly about Mike’s message tone! Grinning as he imagined Mike’s exasperated expression as he was woken by the bugle blast yet again, Tommy curled onto his side and finally drifted into sleep.

They were all up and in soundcheck by nine thirty, Adam introducing the two ladies who would be joining them as background singers for this one performance. “Keisha and Reyna, everyone…we go waaaaaay back and I’m thrilled our paths have finally crossed again…”

The addition of the two ladies, and the fact that Fantasy Springs was a pure ‘Adam’ gig rather than sharing the billing like the radio shows, meant they had a bit of work to do before Adam and Brian were happy with the setlist and the band bridge Adam had decided he wanted to include whilst he had a costume change.

It was approaching eleven when he finally dismissed everyone with the instructions to go the fuck out there and have as much fun as they could pack into one day! Tommy lingered as always, those few extra minutes of Adam alone time both soothing and serving the purpose of triple-checking everything was okay…

Adam hadn’t said anything, his attention focused on the sheet music in his hand as he sat on the edge of the stage, so Tommy turned to leave.

“Tommy Joe!” his name was whispered, almost as if he wasn’t supposed to hear it, but he looked back from the door. “Glitterbaby…” Adam abandoned the music onto the stage and reached his hand out, smiling shyly as Tommy took it and dropped down to sit next to him.

“What’s up?”

“You remember that conversation we had a while back..?”

“Need more clues, babyboy! We’ve had a shed load of conversations recently!”

 “When I said that Sauli was _the one…_ ” Adam’s voice hushed and his grip on Tommy’s hand tightened.

“Ahh, _that_ conversation…”

How he maintained an outward appearance of calm, Tommy didn’t know; his butterflies flew into terminal panic mode and he felt the colour drain from his face as his eyes filled with sudden tears… _fuckfuckfuck_! As the bottom fell out of Tommy’s world and his heart shattered into a million pieces, he reminded himself he was still Adam’s best friend…he was the one Adam had chosen to confide in…to share the news of his intentions with…in his own way, he was also _the one…_

Needing a moment – or five thousand of them – to wrestle his turbulent emotions under control before he could meet Adam’s eyes and drown in the love that would be blazing from those beautiful blue depths, Tommy folded Adam into a hug and held him close, allowing the unique aroma that was just _Adam_ to flood his senses and ground him… _Adam’s your best friend…your ‘forever’…you love him…be happy for him…with him…_

_…with them…_

Adam clung tightly before relaxing into the embrace “thanks baby, I knew you’d get it…you _always_ get me…you know me so well…”

 _But not ‘sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself…’_ a quote from one of Adam’s interviews about his boyfriend, charged, unrelenting, through Tommy’s head, stomping home the message that Adam belonged to Sauli…

“So, does this mean that you’re..?”

“Yes! I think so…I mean, I want to…but what if…” Adam floundered helplessly, pulling back to gaze at Tommy, major anxiety colliding with the unmistakeable glow of complete and utter devotion to the tiny blond Finn he was picturing in his head.

Tommy grinned and took Adam’s hands in his own “you love him, right?”

Adam’s emphatic nod twisted the knife currently buried in the tattered remains of Tommy’s heart, but he continued “you want to spend the rest of your life with him?”

“Yes!”

“He loves you?”

Adam’s radiant smile lit up the entire venue “yes!”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

“What if he says no?”

Tommy squeezed Adam’s fingers hard, biting down on his bottom lip before laying himself bare… “some things are worth the risk of getting your heart broken…some _people_ are worth it…”

Leaning forward, Adam pressed a grateful kiss to Tommy’s cheek “I knew you’d understand me…” He paused before breaking out into that same glorious smile that always melted Tommy’s heart “I’m going to ask him after the show tonight…it’s perfect; mum’s here, Neil’s here…you and the rest of my Glamily are here…everyone I care about.”

“Have you got a ring?” Tommy cursed his big mouth the moment the words escaped _I don’t want to know…this is fucking extreme even on my masochistic scale…just stop for fuck’s sake!_

“Yeah, I got that months ago!” Adam bounced happily, oblivious to the hacking motions of the knife in Tommy’s innards “we were just browsing – I think I was looking at necklaces - and he admired this Finnish Beast ring, telling me all about the legend of the great beast…so when we stopped for lunch I faked a phone call and shot out to get it…”

“Sneaky fucker!” Tommy dragged a grin to his face and scrambled to his feet. “C’mon babyboy, let’s get out there and start the party!”

Adam leapt up and draped an arm around Tommy’s shoulders “Love you, Tommy Joe”

Kicking his butterflies for their pathetic flurry of excitement, Tommy leant into the warmth of Adam’s body “you too, babyboy!”

They parted ways at the elevator, Tommy feigning a burning need to visit the Rock Store so he wouldn’t have to hold his anguish back any longer. As soon as the doors had closed on Adam’s dreamy smile, Tommy headed for the lift on the opposite side of the lobby and in the seclusion of that tiny moving box, finally allowed the tears to fall freely…

Adam whimpered and muttered beside him as his head thrashed from side to side. Tommy tightened his hold on the distressed man and whispered soothing words of love and nonsense, one hand stroking through Adam’s hair as he admitted to himself that he was grateful for the diversion from this particularly painful bit of his trip down memory lane.

Once Adam had settled again, Tommy glanced at the clock. It would be getting light soon. Closing his eyes, he went back to Fantasy Springs…

After washing his face and painstakingly adding kohl to disguise his swollen eyes, Tommy necked a miniature bottle of Jack from the mini-bar in his room and headed back out, the bourbon sitting warm in his belly and sending a buzz through his veins to numb the ache in his heart. Hitting the lobby he thumbed a quick text to Isaac for the meet up location with him and Sophie.

Grabbing a map of the fun park from reception, Tommy made his way to the _Screamer_ where he was hugged to death by Sophie “My hero! You saved me!” she declared dramatically as she planted a grateful kiss on his cheek “he was going to drag me on that thing if you hadn’t arrived!” she shuddered visibly “now _you_ can hold his hand when he decides that, actually, he’s scared shitless after all!”

Isaac stuck his tongue out at his wife and laced his fingers through Tommy’s, leading them off to join the queue. Sophie waved, grinning, and found herself somewhere in the shade to await their triumphant return…

After the _Screamer,_ with its twists and turns, loop-the-loops and sudden jarring stops, Tommy’s fingers were crushed beyond recognition and he wondered fleetingly how the fuck he was going to play that night if Isaac continued to hold his hand “for moral support, right?” as the car began its slow climb to the first of its body rattling peaks!

Sophie laughed as they rejoined her, one glance at her husband’s pale face and Tommy as he nursed his mangled fingers, telling her she’d judged it perfectly. Isaac muttered a string of swear words as Sophie wound her arms around each of their waists and steered them towards the _Buccaneer Pirate Ship,_ suggesting that this one wouldn’t be quite so scary!

Despite Sophie’s teasing, they had a fun time on the different rides, crossing paths with the other band members and friends. Tommy joined Lee and Riff on  _Alice’s Teacup Experience_ before they all made their way to the _Safari Skyway_ to meet up with the rest of the band and stage crew for a mouth-watering barbeque lunch on the terrace.

As Tommy bounced a delighted Riff on his knees, his eyes were drawn repeatedly to the soft seating in the corner, where Sauli was leant close into Adam’s body and the pair gazed deeply into each other’s eyes as Adam traced his finger over the outline of Sauli’s lips. They were completely lost in their own world until Leila and Neil joined them, Neil laughing and threatening to tip his glass of iced water over the couple who were now sharing a tender kiss…it was so beautiful to see…. _and it hurt like fucking hell…_

After cuffing his sibling fondly around the back of his head, Neil grinned and wandered across to join Tommy, Lee and Riff. Dropping into a chair, he nodded at the two men, a flash of sympathetic understanding as he met Tommy’s eyes, before ruffling Riff’s hair as the toddler reached out to clamber onto his lap.

The discussion flowed through music, child rearing and onto photography. Riff happily climbed them each in turn, finally bawling in complaint as he was carried off by Scarlett for a nappy change before his lunch.   

Tommy dived into his massive plateful of ribs, pulled pork and steak, sharing his fries with Adam who refused to have any on his own plate but ate at least half of Tommy’s! It was a bittersweet time of love and laughter, good food and company and they lingered long after they’d all eaten their fill. Finally, Adam’s boundless energy chaffed from being sat still for so long and he herded everyone back into the park for a few more hours of fun and frolics.

After getting absolutely soaked on the Ragetown Rapids, Sophie announced she was going back to her room to get some dry clothes. Isaac took one look at the twinkle in his wife’s eye and immediately offered to help, linking their fingers together as he led her away towards the hotel.

Tommy and Ashley laughed at the thumbs up Isaac gave over Sophie’s shoulder, before heading back to the start to do the ride again. As they waited their turn in the queue, chatting easily about anything from their favourite bass icons to brands of eyeliner, Ashley was suddenly engulfed in a massive hug by one of their fellow queue members who had been several places ahead of them.

Introductions followed the squeals of excitement from the girls and hearty handshakes from the men as Ashley’s childhood friends swapped places in the queue to stand with them. Tommy nodded politely and listened to Ashley excitedly swapping life updates with Ella, Kate, Josh and Ryan. When they reached the front of the queue, there was a single place left in the raft with Ashley’s friends.

Tommy gave her a nudge and a smile as she looked longingly at the happy group. “You go, Ash…I’ll be right behind you…”

“You’re a beautiful man, Tommy!” Planting a light kiss on his lips, she skipped happily over to fill the final seat.

Tommy found himself sharing a raft with a beefy Canadian and his family who all pulled on plastic ponchos to avoid getting wet. They were friendly enough, though, and their twin boys laughed loudly when Tommy took the full force of the wave when they spun down the steepest part of the rapids. When they disembarked, he was soaked to the skin, hair flopping wetly over his face and eyeliner smudged into a fashion disaster. With Ashley nowhere in sight, he high-fived the twins and set off back towards the hotel.

Surrounded by happy faces, groups of friends, families and couples, he’d never felt so alone.

By the time he’d made it to the lobby, the darkness had well and truly taken over and he was fighting back the tears.

Exiting the elevator, fate obviously saw fit to kick him hard when he was down…

Further down the hallway, just outside their room, Adam was kissing Sauli into the wall. Even from this distance, Tommy could see the way their hands raked over each other’s bodies and as he watched unwillingly, Sauli wrapped both his legs around Adam’s hips and arched against him, dragging his mouth from his boyfriend’s… _soon to be fiancé…fuck…_ to whisper in his ear. Adam’s chuckle, deep and throaty, and full of promise, floated down the hallway as he fumbled the key card into the slot and they disappeared from sight.

Tommy remained rooted to the spot for long minutes after their door had closed, his head replaying every kiss and caress in painful slow motion. Finally, he dragged himself to his room and fell onto his bed where he sobbed his heart out until he could cry no more, falling into an emotionally drained sleep.

When he woke, the light was fading and a bleary glance at the clock showed he had less than forty minutes until he had to be downstairs to prepare for the show. With his head pounding, he grabbed another mini bottle of bourbon and washed down a couple of painkillers before hitting the shower in a hurry, making it down to the concert room with just seconds to spare.

Adam’s face lit up as Tommy joined the others on stage, striding over to pull him into a hug. “Gonna be a fucking awesome night, Glitterbaby, I can _feel_ it!” He held Tommy close to whisper into his ear “and I’m all set for after the show…” Releasing his hold, he radiated happiness as he pressed a kiss to Tommy’s forehead “ _thank you for everything…you’re the best friend anyone could ever have…_ ”

Tommy’s insides lurched uncontrollably as the bourbon fought with the aspirin. For a split second it seemed both would make a surprise and unwelcome appearance on the stage…he swallowed carefully and hoped for the best.

Fortunately, Adam was distracted by the sound of voices as the Duty Manager showed in the VIP guests to take their seats before the masses were allowed in. Adam frowned as the dignitaries settled themselves down, a waiter standing by to take their drinks orders. As Adam took a step towards the edge of the stage, the main doors opened and the rest of the audience flooded in, the excitement and anticipation flowing from them in waves. It was enough to send Adam back to confer with Brian and run a quick check that everyone was ready.

Tommy automatically checked the tuning on his Fender, his stomach still churned and the hammering inside his head seemed to have intensified rather than abating.

“You okay, Tommy?” Isaac grinned across from his drum perch. He looked alive and glowing, the afternoon session with Sophie obviously recharging his batteries and Tommy felt the unmistakeable gnawing of his jealous goblins. He pushed them away irritably. Now was not the fucking time…

He gave a terse nod, forced a grin and pretended to fiddle with the settings on his amp. Isaac seemed satisfied, however and switched his attention to Keisha and Reyna. Ashley was not so easily convinced and subjected Tommy to a series of searching looks, backing off when he hissed at her “cut it out, will ya! ‘m fine! Just a bit hacked off because I fell asleep and was almost late…” he added a crooked grin as Brian counted them down into _Trespassing_ …

Despite his assertation to the contrary, Tommy struggled to get into the beat, his head supplying endless replays of Adam and Sauli outside their room from earlier. Several times he almost missed the clapping bridge, resorting to singing along in an attempt to kick-start his musical engine.

As they swung straight into _Kickin’ In_ he found his rhythm, although his mojo and enthusiasm refused to be coaxed out of the corner, so smiles were few and far between…

Adam was on fire tonight, strutting around with seemingly boundless energy and giving off an aura of confidence that just oozed sex and the simple joys of being alive and in love. Tommy couldn’t tear his eyes away…

The next song was _Shady,_ but before they could play the first bars, Adam marched to the front of the stage and ripped the VIPs a complete set of new arseholes! For the first time that evening, Tommy grinned. It was true; Adam was right as always – if they were going to take the front rows away from his fans, the least they could do was look as if they were enjoying themselves! As Adam moved into the song, Tommy doubted they’d heard the last on this.

Before he knew it, they were starting _Fever_. There hadn’t been any stage play or kissing since the end of GNT, aside from the chaste peck in London for Brian and Roger, but the opening notes always sent a buzz of electricity through Tommy’s body and his lips tingled with a heady mix of anticipation and recall of previous kisses… Adam’s voice on top of that was enough to reroute his blood supply southwards, leaving him with the problem of disguising the fact his trousers were straining at the seams…

Tonight, however, at that point when their lips would’ve been pressing together and their tongues dancing, Adam gazed out into the audience to point towards where his boyfriend was sitting, a vibrant smile on his face.

Tommy’s errant corpuscles fled back onto prior assigned routes and despondency once more owned his soul. Pouring his heartache into his playing, he slayed _Whataya want from me_ and _Outlaws of Love_ and was feeling much more alert as they hit _Pop that Lock_ …the memories of corks and confused Finns bringing another genuine smile to his face just in time for the band riff as Adam went off to change his clothes.

It was fun having a jam session in the middle of the show and with the addition of the two ladies singing, it flowed and they didn’t even notice how long Adam was gone until he started explaining that he’d been too busy listening to them all, to actually put his pants on!

The next song was _Chokehold_ and Adam was really selling the story of this one, how you know when you’re in a relationship that’s not good for you, but you just keep going back for more… _the story of my fucking life right now…_ Tommy ground his teeth and swapped out his guitar with his technician, ready for the signal to start playing.

Temporarily distracted from the exchange, he watched as Adam continued “ _right now,_ in my life? I’m in a great place!” he pointed towards Sauli once more, blowing him a kiss “I love you, baby….” before turning a wry smile back to the audience “but my past is littered with shitty experiences!”

Adam swung around to walk back to the mic stand. That was their cue to play and Tommy suddenly realised he hadn’t plugged into his amp… _fuckshitbugger…_ He shook his head at Adam, who grinned his understanding and turned back to the front.

“ _Sooooo_ , we have a guitar thing! Remember, if you find yourself in that relationship, it’s important to respect yourself…” he broke off, laughing as Tommy checked he was now ready by a single twanged note which cut across Adam’s deep and meaningful relationship advice “ _respect yourself, Tommy!”_

Everyone laughed as Tommy blushed and hid behind his hair, diving into the notes to play out his fury at his fucking rookie mistake. Adam’s soulful voice tore Tommy apart as he sang what Tommy had realised was the story of his life right now – Adam was the love of his life and unavailable; Liz wanted him but was jealous of the one thing he couldn’t have, so he couldn’t give her the one thing _she_ wanted…his heart – what a fucking mess…

Meanwhile, as Tommy was lamenting the fucked up state of his relationships, Adam was once again taking the dignitaries to task for their lack of enthusiasm. As one leant to his companion and said loudly that this really wasn’t his kind of music, Adam’s eyes gleamed with mischief and he winked over his shoulder at the others.

Addressing security and the VIPs, Adam looked out at his loyal fans…his Glamberts “can they come down here with you? Maybe you could make friends? They might even make you want to dance or get to your feet?”

The look of disgust in one man’s eye was the decider and Adam went for it! If they never let him back here, then at least he’d have this memory of sticking it to the management! “Yes, let’s do that! You guys come down here…I like my fans up close to the stage… You other people, just sit there and we’ll get you some drinks or something”

Chaos reigned supreme for several minutes as his fans surged forward and Adam urged them to be nice and not push! Security shook their heads and dealt with it as best they could! Finally, the view from the stage was a sea of happy smiling faces and the miserable VIPs were lost from sight. Adam ran along the front, touching hands and emphasising the interactions – VIPs please note for future reference – Adam Lambert is to be pissed off at your peril!

A placard waving at the side of the stage caught Adam’s eye and he reached out for it ’The top 12 reasons America is glad to have Adam back!’ Reading a few out, Adam chuckled, they were clever, if a little cerebral in parts! He laughed loudly at number nine which was about the shortage of kale in the London markets and held his sides at number three “because Elton John called and wants his red pom pom jacket back!” He looked over to the giggling fans who’d handed the list up, adding happily “I love that jacket!”

With the list passed back to the owners, they swung into _Broken English_ and time after time, Adam’s eyes sought out the region of the audience he knew Sauli was sat in…this was _his song…_ After an emotive performance that had the hairs on the back of Tommy’s neck standing up, Adam was back to hyper again, joking with a concert regular at the front about her putting her phone on _his_ stage “get your fucking phone off my fucking stage…now kiss me on the cheek…” The audience screamed in delight and cellphone Mary became the envy of every Glambert there!

Back to his rightful place in the centre of the stage, Adam belted out a fan – and band – favourite _If I had you_ which they followed up with _Naked Love…_ As he looked out over the crowd, all singing along and the sheer love and exhilaration that flowed from them, Adam impulsively jumped down into the middle of them; Security had heart failure and the fans went wild with delight. 

Weaving his way through the throng, Adam picked two fans at random to sing the chorus before making his way back to the front. As he passed the VIPs, he noted that all but two had now risen to their feet and were singing along with the rest… He winked at the security guard at the edge of the stage “having fun yet?” laughing when the man just rolled his eyes.

Restored to the stage once more, they moved into _Never Close our Eyes_ which was their closing track before the encore. However, with so much else they’d packed into the evening, they were already way over their time so instead of leaving the stage, Adam took a moment to talk to the crowd.

“You guys having fun?” He peered forward, shielding his eyes against the lighting “Where’s my boyfriend? I want to see my boyfriend!” As the lights went up, all heads turned to see Adam’s focus of attention “Sauli…you having fun?”

Sauli grinned widely, his hat tipping as he nodded, mouthing a drawn out “yes!”

“You want one more song?” he continued without waiting for an answer “ _Cuckoo_?”

Sauli responded with a double thumbs up, Leila jumping up to add her vote as Neil grinned beside her.

With another flash of that beautiful dazzling smile, Adam turned away from his boyfriend and family and nodded briefly at Brian and Tommy to start playing. The song was wild and crazy and matched Adam’s mood perfectly, especially when he moved over to drape himself over the giant speakers, rubbing himself seductively over them in the hottest display of moves Tommy had ever witnessed. Even when Adam’s loved-up, blissed-out smile as he slid down to the floor, was directed towards Sauli with another point of Adam’s finger – the promise of things to come no doubt - Tommy’s groin still throbbed with want and the urge to jerk off there and then grew exponentially…

Tommy groaned and hid his reaction behind his guitar.

Part way through the song, Adam introduced the band, his fierce and protective love for them evident in his every word. He was also still in a playful mood, banging the cymbal repeatedly as Isaac wowed them with his drum solo and rocking some seriously sexy moves as Ashley played her foot tappin’ bass melody. By the time he came to introduce Tommy, Adam was seriously hyper and Tommy’s hard on was threatening to explode in his pants…

Adam’s tongue flicking in his face and seductive body rolls only added to the pressure and, as Adam sank to his knees in front of him, Tommy threw caution to the wind, moved in close and straddled him, playing his fingers off as the audience screamed themselves hoarse. It was one of the best fucking moments of his life and his grin said it all as Adam gazed at him, telling the crowd “I think I just lost my mind!”

Tommy moved back to his spot and Adam began explaining how he got Brian to listen to his new album at Adam’s dining room table and asked him to bring the music to life, live on stage.

They all jammed some more until Adam closed the show with perfect pitch and soaring notes as only he could do.

With the decibel level from the Glamberts raising the roof, they scampered off the stage, spirits high and all talking at top speed. Tommy’s roller coaster train of emotions was at a high point at this moment in time and he had a brotherly arm curled around Ashley’s waist when a man dressed impeccably in an expensive Italian suit appeared in the doorway.

“Wonderful show ladies and gentlemen, most enjoyable!” he nodded at them and moved on towards Adam’s dressing room.

“Wow!” Isaac breathed, peering after his retreating back.

“Who the fuck was that?” Tommy and Ash gazed enquiringly at the stunned drummer.

“That’s the owner of this entire chain of casinos – that suit probably cost more than I make in a year! I wonder what he wants?”

They didn’t have to wait long. Ten minutes later Adam and Brian joined them, huge grins on their faces. “Mr Hibbs loved the show, especially the bits that upset security apparently! We and our families are now all honorary life members of his elite club and he’s throwing us a party and dinner so get your arses washed and dusted…you’ve got fifteen minutes before dinner!”

Adam chuckled at the open mouths and stunned silence. “Look busy people!” he grinned and turned to leave them. “See you all upstairs, now I need to find Sauli…”

He looked meaningfully at Tommy, winked and strode away down the hallway.

As the others burst into excited chatter, Tommy slumped into a chair and tried to catch his breath as his head absorbed the heartbreaking fact that somewhere close by, Adam was asking Sauli to marry him…


	10. Chapter 10

Dinner and the party passed in a hazy blur of way too much alcohol. Mr Hibbs seated Adam, Sauli and Brian at his table with some other guests of choice, the remainder of the band several tables away with some stars of the small screen, who turned out to be great company and the room echoed to the sound of cutlery on china, the clinking of glass and lots of laughter.

With the tables cleared away, Tommy mingled as if on a mission, darting away through the crowd every time he caught a glimpse of Adam coming towards him.  

At the same time, he spent much of the evening gazing intently at the couple to see if they were celebrating, but there was no outward sign of any such activity.

Tommy’s alcohol soaked synapses struggled to marry – oh yes, pun most definitely fucking intended - the knowledge he had of Adam’s plans with the lack of celebratory behaviour. Puzzled, he continued to watch and evade…

“You can’t hide from him forever!” Neil commented dryly as Tommy ducked down behind a massive indoor tree-like plant display. “What’s he done to upset you this time?”

“I…er…fuck…he’s…oh _fuck!_ ”

“Neil, have you seen Tommy Joe?” Adam’s voice the other side of the foliage had Tommy praying that Neil wouldn’t give him away. He hunched into a ball on the floor, pressing up close to the giant plant pot.

“I thought I saw him going outside a few minutes ago…”

“Thanks, I need to talk to him and I’ve been missing him all night!”

Neil’s eyebrow rose “what have you done to upset him now?”

“Nothing!” Adam turned back “Wait, did he say he was upset with me?” his tone conveyed concern, even to Tommy’s booze infused brain.

“No, but if he’s been avoiding you, maybe you’ve done something you haven’t realised…” Neil ignored Tommy’s hand tugging at his trouser leg.

“Oh, then I have to find him before we leave…if you see him, can you tell him I’m looking for him? I’ll be outside…”

“Sure!” Neil grinned down at Tommy as Adam headed out to the walled garden in search of him. “You can get up now, he’s gone!” He offered a hand up, which Tommy took, groaning.

“Thansh!”

Neil’s grin widened “You’re wasted! My brother can be such a sightless, stubborn dick! How he ever…” He shook his head, not finishing his sentence. “C’mon, let’s get you back to your room before he realises you’re not out there…”

Tommy opened his mouth to protest, closing it again without speaking as he realised he was absolutely deadbeat and emotionally wrung out, and it didn’t actually matter one iota if he knew the outcome of Adam’s proposal or not… _because he wasn’t fucking asking me…_

Somehow Neil understood him, despite the nonsense syllables he’d jabbered and led him away. Once outside Tommy’s room, he braved Tommy’s pocket for his key card, propelled him gently across the threshold and over to his bed.

As he sank down onto the quilt, Tommy couldn’t help the strangled sob that escaped him as Adam’s face, glowing and full of love, lit up in his head. Neil removed Tommy’s boots and jacket as Tommy looked up at him, mumbling helplessly  “I love him…you know I love him…but I want him to be happy…and he _is_ happy… _but it hurts…it hurts so fucking much…_ ”

“I know, Tommy, I know…” Neil squeezed his arm reassuringly “now get some sleep!”

The last thing Tommy remembered the next morning, was Neil helping him up from behind the plant pot, so he was somewhat surprised to find himself on his bed, a blanket over him, still in his dinner clothes.

A shake of his head proved a terrible mistake as the dozen pneumatic drills inside his skull attacked with gusto and his stomach heaved. Fortunately, the nausea passed, but the wrecking ball continued the demolition work behind his eyes and he crawled off to the bathroom for some wonder pills from his wash bag.

Swallowing the painkillers with a cupped handful of water from the tap, he dropped onto the closed lid of the toilet and attempted to recall the events from the previous evening.

Drawing a blank, he turned the shower on to warm and was about to put a call into room service for some strong coffee when the phone rang. “You’re still alive then!” Isaac’s howl of laughter hammered through his thudding head.

“Fucker! ‘m suffering here!” Tommy groaned pathetically.

“Aww, poor baby!” Isaac sounded anything but sympathetic, but, considerately, lowered the volume to a whisper. “Time to pop the pills, make pretty and get your arse downstairs. We got band breakfast in ten. Apparently Adam’s got an announcement to make…”

“Fuck! **Fuck!** ” Tommy swore vehemently.

“Tommy? You okay?” Isaac was quick to pick up on the genuine distress in his friend’s voice. “You want me to…”

Needing to compose himself before facing everyone so he could display the appropriate joy at Adam’s good news, which of course he already knew… Tommy cut across Isaac’s well meant offer. “’s okay, just got this fucking shit headache and need to shower…” his voice trailed away, hoping Isaac understood.

“We’ll see you down there…” He loved Isaac for not questioning him further.

Forgoing the coffee, Tommy threw himself under the shower, washed quickly and dragged on black skinny jeans and his Denmark Street tee. He towelled his hair carefully, blasted it with the hair dryer for as many seconds as he could stand with his head upside down and added a dash of eyeliner to distract from the obvious morning-after-the-night-before fucked over look…

Finally, he headed downstairs to the dining room to join the others, only a few minutes over the allotted ten since Isaac’s call.

Ashley waved at him from her seat at a long table by the window and he walked over to join her, his eyes casually scanning the room for Adam and Sauli. “I saved you a seat…” she smiled gently “how’s the head?”

“Noisy!” he grimaced “easing off a bit now but I don’t remember much from last night…I just hope…”

“Ah, so the strip-tease on the table…” Ashley giggled ”it’s all over Twitter!”

Tommy’s mouth fell open in horror before noting the teasing twinkle in her eye “that’s mean!”

She nodded cheerfully “yep! But I have ordered you coffee so I figure I’ve got away with it this time!”

Pressing a grateful kiss to her cheek, Tommy nodded carefully and took the proffered mug, gulping the scalding liquid like a drowning man in the desert. He reached across and landed it back on the table. “I needed that! You coming to get some breakfast?”

Ash shook her head “I’ve ordered eggs Benedict so they’ll bring them over when they’re ready”

Tommy wandered off to survey the vast array of food on offer for their buffet breakfast. As he was helping himself to some strawberries, he was joined by a smiling and radiant Sauli.

“They are so sweet…so good!” Sauli piled some more onto his bowl alongside the melon and kiwi.

Reaching across to replace the serving spoon, Tommy noticed the gleaming new ring on Sauli’s right hand. Catching his gaze, Sauli grinned and flexed his fingers “You like my new ring? It is from Adam…”

Quashing the sudden urge to scream denial and flee the room, Tommy grinned and tugged the tiny Finn… _his friend…his best friend’s lover…fiancé…_ into a hug “I’m so happy for you…” he could be forgiven for the minute pause “…both…”

Sauli hugged back, grinned and picked up his bowl of fruit. “It was a surprise, but a nice one!”

Nodding, Tommy bit his lip so hard he could taste the coppery tang of blood “Has Adam announced it yet? I was a few minutes late down.”

“Not yet, it will be after breakfast I think…” Sauli added a dollop of fresh natural yoghurt to his bowl and headed back to the table, after bumping shoulders affectionately with Tommy and chuckling as the guitarist rejected the yoghurt and slapped a mound of whipped cream onto his plate instead.

Totally distracted now and his appetite nowhere in sight, Tommy drifted aimlessly around the different sections, ending up with a cinnamon whirl only because it reminded him of happy breakfast sessions with Adam in times past. He murmured subdued morning greetings to those he met, citing his hangover for the lack of bounce.

Slowly and sadly, he returned to the table which was now fully populated and resonated with lively chatter. Ashley took one look at his face and gave him his newly refilled coffee. “Thanks…”

Cradling his mug in both hands, Tommy watched Adam and Sauli further along the table; heads leant in close together, lingering touches and whispered words against each other’s ears… _a couple in love…and about to share the news of their next step with the Glamily…_

He drifted into his own world, remembering all those missed chances where he could’ve told Adam how he felt… _before Sauli…_ a wistful realisation… _that could’ve been me…_

Adam banging on the table made him jump and he came back to the present with a start. “Firstly, thank you to all the friends and family who made the trip to be with us here at Fantasy Springs…” he paused to grin at the smiling faces in front of him “it’s always nicer to share the good times with those we love.” A hushed _awww_ floated around the table as he lifted Sauli’s hand to kiss it lightly.

“So, what’s next? We’re here until tomorrow morning and then on to San Antonio for The Six Flags, then Winstar World Casino and we close out July in Iowa at the All Star Summer Concert on the twenty eighth.   

From there we head home and then it’s filming on the third of August for two days for Pretty Little Liars; I thought we could have a run through for that the day before, so usual time, usual place on the second. Everyone okay so far?” He gazed around the table, noting that Tommy kept his head down, despite the affirmative nod along with everyone else. He really needed to talk to Tommy after breakfast…

“Okay, now I have a couple of exciting announcements to make.” Adam leant down to whisper something in Sauli’s ear, the words drawing a beaming smile and a rare blush to the Finn’s cheeks. “Sauli, my love, has been voted ‘Best Model’ by Finland’s _Elle_ Magazine. Now this…” his words were drowned out by the cheers and whistles from the others and he waited, grinning proudly, for the noise to abate.

“Now this is a huge accolade and comes with a prestigious modelling contract attached so I’m sure we are going to see a lot more of this beautiful body on display…”

“Please don’t start talking sex at the breakfast table!” Neil shuddered visibly and narrowed his eyes to glare at his sibling.

Adam laughed “well, this morning when we were in the shower…” he winked at those on the opposite side of the table from Neil, who chuckled, sensing a ‘brother baiting session was coming. “…these showers, we just love them because there’s room to get _creative_ – the positions you can get into are really.. _!_ ”

 _“Shut up! Just shut up, now!_ ” Neil stuffed his fingers in his ears, muttering loudly that he was going to have to scrub his brain out now to get rid of the images Adam had just planted!

Giving Neil the finger, Adam grinned broadly and continued “so, as I was saying: more of this gorgeous body on display in the pages of the magazine and at the _Elle_ Gallery in Helskini where he’ll be the featured model for their winter show…” Adam picked up his mug and toasted his partner “To Sauli…”

“Sauli!” echoed around the table as the friends celebrated his achievement.

“And finally…” he took a breath “I’m stoked to tell you that…”

Tommy’s heart stopped and everything went hazy… _this was it…_

“…Mr Hibbs has also very generously made his private holiday estate on Cabo available to our Glamily for anybody who would like to use it this year. Apparently, he was beyond impressed with my attempts to get those VIP arseholes to have a good time, as giving freebie tickets to people who don’t appreciate the music is one of his pet hates – all in all, he liked what we did! Phew!” Adam mock mopped his brow “…and there was I just praying we’d be allowed back here after slagging off their guests and breaking all their security rules!”

Adam sat back down, grinning as excited chatter broke out around the table. His smile faded and his scan of the happy faces of his friends came to an abrupt halt as it landed on Tommy. His guitarist and best friend was pale and looked like he was about to pass out.

Murmuring to Sauli that he was going to make sure Tommy was okay, he stood up and made a beeline for the mop of pink hair, crouching down beside the chair and making Tommy jump out of his skin as Adam touched him gently on his knee. “Fuck it, Adam! You almost gave me a heart attack!” Tommy came out of his musings with a violent start, blinking the sudden tears away hurriedly as he saw the worry in Adam’s eyes.

Too late, it seemed. “What’s wrong, baby?” Adam’s voice was gentle, concern evident in the intense gaze Adam fixed on him.

“’m fine…hangover…just too much booze last night…” Tommy mumbled, addressing his interlaced fingers in his lap so he wouldn’t have to meet those troubled blue depths.

“Hmmmm!” Adam wasn’t convinced, standing and holding out his hand. “C’mon, lets’s get some air and you can tell me where you vanished to last night! There were more sightings of the Yeti than there were of you!”

Lacing their fingers together, Adam led him outside to the terrace and they sat in the corner away from the other guests out there, sinking down onto the same soft cushions that Adam and Sauli had been canoodling on the day before.

Adam tipped Tommy’s chin up to look him in the eyes, noting the black circles and tiny smile that failed to make it to those liquid brown pools. “I’m worried about you, Glitterbaby…”

“’m fine… _really…_ aside from a fucking mega hangover…” _and the fact I’m in love with you and you just got engaged to your boyfriend…so yeah! I’m dandy!_

Sighing softly - knowing he’d only got half the story and that as Tommy was as stubborn as a frigging mule, he wasn’t likely to get the other half – Adam pulled him into a hug and held him close. Resisting momentarily, Tommy melted into the embrace, immersing himself in everything that was _Adam_ as he let out a contented huff; a sound that had Adam smiling in relief. Tommy might not say what was bothering him, but he _always_ responded to hugs!

After several minutes of companionable silence, Adam pulled back. “Better?”

“Yeah…thanks…” This time, the smile reached Tommy’s eyes.

“So, last night, when I couldn’t find you…I wanted to tell you that I never got to ask him…”

“But he’s wearing the ring?”

“I know! He’s wearing it on his middle finger which is apparently to comply with the ancient legend. It’s to guard against evil spirits – or negative karma, whichever version you read – and stands alone on that finger to give balance. I _was_ all set to ask him but mum came back to the room with us to get some stuff Sauli had picked up for her when he was last in Finland. We chatted with her for a while and then we were going to hit the shower…and we got…um… _distracted_ …

Next thing, it’s morning and he’s picking my clothes up from the floor…” A fierce blush coloured Adam’s cheeks and Tommy grinned, correctly guessing why Adam had turned a fetching shade of pink! “…we’d kinda flung them off in a hurry the night before… _Anyway_ …the ring box fell out of my pocket and he picked it up…” Adam faltered, an unfathomable expression crossing his face.

Tommy’s stomach churned, not entirely sure he was ready to hear this, but _this is Adam…his happiness is what matters…_ Entwining their fingers, he squeezed gently…prompting…

Adam’s faint smile was enough to reset the glow in Tommy’s heart and he leant closer, resting his head on Adam’s shoulder as he resumed playback “So that was my cue to go down on one knee or whatever and ask, but there was something…I don’t know… I took the box off him, opened it and offered it back to him. He just lit up…his eyes sparkled and I thought he’d understood what I was doing, but he started talking at top speed – in a mix of English and Finnish so I didn’t get it all - about the protection from bad karma and how it was a symbol of prosperity and belief in one’s dreams.

I said it was for him and he flung himself on me and put it on his middle finger. That’s when he explained what it meant… He’s happy with everything, so I’ll ask another day!”

“You’ll have to go ring shopping again first!” Tommy sat up, gazing into Adam’s eyes “Are **_you_** okay?” concern radiated from every pore.

Adam threw his head back and laughed delightedly “You, Tommy Joe, are the best friend a person could ever have! I came out here to make sure you were okay, and you’ve turned the tables on me! This wasn’t supposed to be about me – it was about you!”

 _Same thing babyboy, if only you knew it…_ “Then I guess we’re both good!” Tommy nestled in close as Adam tugged him back into his arms, pressing a fond kiss to the top of his hair.

Peace restored in his head, Tommy let his senses soar…

The sound of mass movement from indoors saw them moving apart. Standing, Adam draped his arm around Tommy’s shoulders and they headed towards their Glamily. Tommy still bore the scars of his hangover, and the shadows around his eyes were still dark, but he’d shed the haunted look from earlier.

Declining the offer of shopping with Ash, a walk in the grounds with Isaac and Sophie - and even some music stuff with Brian, in favour of heading back to his bed for a few hours, Tommy hugged Sauli and wished him safe journey and _onnea_ for his modelling.

Sauli hugged him hard “Look after Adam…and I see you again soon!”

The Glamily split up to go their different ways. Tommy flopped happily onto his bed, stretched luxuriously and fell asleep, tiny contented snores resonating around his room.

Further down the corridor, Sauli was packing for his trip back to Helsinki.

By the time Adam returned from taking Sauli to the airport, Tommy had woken, re-lived his rather erotic dream under a hot shower and was ready to attack the world with vigour renewed.

It was a lively group for dinner that night, relaxing late into the evening over coffee and some rather fine brandy, courtesy of the management.

Packing was a swift affair the next morning as they checked out and piled into the bus for the onward journey to San Antonio.

The crowds were ferocious in their love and support at each venue; Six Flags, Winstar World and the All-Star Summer Concert, finally heading home from Iowa in the early hours for a few days well deserved rest.

Tommy surprised himself by declining Adam’s offer to stay at his place, citing a need for his own bed and some head space. Pressing his lips lightly against Adam’s as he was dropped off, Tommy promised to call when he woke up.

Creeping into the apartment, he dumped his bag on the floor and flopped on to his bed. His thoughts as he fell asleep were happy ones…

The next two days were full of sorting out clothes for their trip to Australia and New Zealand and trying to cram in coffee, lunch and dinner with his friends before he was off again. He’d had an enjoyable dinner at Alla’s with Matt and Liz and, now that they weren’t dating, they rediscovered the fun times they’d had at the start of their relationship. Kissing her goodnight as he dropped her off felt natural and he was mildly disappointed when she didn’t invite him in for coffee.

However, he waved as she went indoors and he headed home. Mike and Tanya were already in bed and the apartment was quiet. Not in the least bit sleepy, Tommy grabbed a beer from the fridge and flicked through the channels, settling on one of The Duke’s best films _Rooster Cogburn_ which was part way through.

He was deciding if he could be arsed to move to get another beer, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. **Are you awake?**

He chuckled and tapped a swift reply **I’m sorry. This is** **Tommy Joe’s out of hours text service. Leave a message and he’ll get back to you when the sun comes up!**

The screen lit up with a reply instantly **Haha Glitterbaby! Wanna come over and watch Velvet Goldmine?**

Tommy was already reaching for his boots when another message flashed up **I’ve got beer, soda, ice cream and Tortilla chips…**

Warmth spread through Tommy’s veins and he grinned… _just like the old days…_ **Hold the remote ‘m on my way!**


	11. Chapter 11

Adam had the film cued up ready to play and a cold beer was uncapped and waiting for him on the bedside cabinet, when Tommy let himself into Adam’s apartment.

Adam patted the quilt beside him as Tommy appeared in the doorway “ready?”

“Yep!” Tommy grinned and launched himself at the bed from about three feet away, half landing on Adam and the two rolled over the covers in a tangled heap, laughing helplessly as they battled for supremacy.

Tommy ended up pinned to the bed with Adam sat on his tummy. “I win!” Adam chuckled somewhat breathlessly.

“You cheated, sneaky fucker!”

“You never said tickling wasn’t allowed! Anyway, _you’re_ the one who threw himself at me!” Adam wriggled backwards, the friction sending all sorts of excited signals to Tommy’s nether regions and his eyes widened as he felt Adam growing equally hard above him.

For a moment they looked at each other, that same electric charge they’d shared in Tommy’s hotel room in London, sparking dangerously in the space between them. _What you do to me Tommy Joe…_

Tommy’s heartbeat danced double time as he took in the heat in Adam’s eyes as they locked gazes… _I could so easily let go…right here…right now…_

It took all Tommy’s willpower to force a nonchalant grin as he agreed “you win! That means you get to go and fetch my ice cream!” He fluttered his eyelashes coquettishly.

That same unfathomable look flashed across Adam’s face for a split second, before he grinned back “Spoiled brat!” and climbed off, adjusting his trousers without embarrassment as he left the room.

Left alone, Tommy forced air into his lungs, spread his legs wide and resisted the urge to plunge his hand into his pants… He was still splayed out when Adam returned with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s Rocky Road and a spoon.

“Hey, Ratliff! Shift that pretty little arse over to your side!” Adam’s tone held nothing but amused fondness as Tommy shuffled across and shimmied back up to the pillow.

They got themselves comfortable; Tommy curled into Adam’s side, with Adam’s arm draped around his shoulders. It was an easy fit and one they’d done too many times before to number; it may have been a while, but they slotted straight back into place like it was yesterday.

Adam pressed <play> on the remote and held the ice cream tub still as Tommy tugged off the lid and delved in with the spoon. As always, he fed Adam the first spoonful from the middle, before scooping the soft bits around the edges for himself, sucking it off the spoon in a hot-as-fuck manner that had Adam’s blood rushing southwards.

He concentrated on the screen and channelled unsexy thoughts! _Although what you are about to see is a work of fiction, it should never the less be played at maximum volume..._ Reaching for the remote, he turned the sound up.

Ice cream and beer consumed, warm and comfortable as they leant into each other, their eyes closed and they fell asleep as Ewan McGregor continued to take on the world on the screen…

Adam’s phone buzzing on the bedside cabinet prodded them from slumber. They’d shifted down the bed at some point in the night to cuddle up in the middle. Uncurling his arm from Tommy’s waist, Adam rolled over and peered sleepily at the caller id. Grinning happily, he pressed answer “Sauli…” Pushing himself upright and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, Adam listened to the excited chatter on the other end of the phone.

“That’s wild, baby…” he paused to listen some more, chuckling “yeah, I know, but Tommy came over so we could be insomniacs together…we had ice cream and Velvet Goldmine and fell asleep in our clothes…” He prodded Tommy gently “Sauli says hello!”

Tommy yawned and stretched “say hi! Tell him his bed’s really comfortable and I don’t want to move!”

Adam chuckled and paraphrased “he says hi and is refusing to shift his lazy arse outta bed!” He grinned before adding loudly for Tommy’s benefit “which means I might just have to tickle him…”

“Fuck you will!” Tommy sat up hurriedly as Sauli and Adam laughed their heads off at either end of the line. “Fuckers!” Padding to the bathroom he relieved the pressure on his bladder, washed his hands and headed to the kitchen to put the coffee on, steadfastly refusing to allow the green tendrils of jealousy to gain any foothold.

Not wanting to interrupt any ‘boyfriend activity’ that might’ve developed in his absence, Tommy wandered outside and up to the roof terrace. The view across the city was glorious in the early morning sunshine as he leant on the railings and allowed his thoughts to drift aimlessly. Unsurprisingly, they ended up in Adam territory as always…

He was mid-point in an enjoyable recollection of snuggled up film nights when Adam joined him, a steaming mug of coffee in each hand.

“You ran out on me!” he handed over Tommy’s coffee.

“Dude, didn’t want to get in the way of any long distance comfort session you might have goin’ on!” Tommy grinned, kicking the goblins hard to keep them locked out of sight.

Adam threw his head back and laughed “you are just the _most awesome_ person I’ve ever met…” his face suddenly serious, he took their mugs and put them on the floor before folding Tommy into a tight hug “I love you, Tommy Joe Ratliff and I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life…”

Tommy swallowed the lump in his throat and melted into the hug, twisting his hands into the fabric of Adam’s t-shirt as he buried his face into Adam’s chest “love you too, babyboy”

Butterflies appeased and goblins banished back to their cave, Tommy immersed himself in everything that was _Adam…_

They stood motionless for long glorious minutes, revelling in the warmth and comfort of friendship and familiarity as the sun continued to rise…

Adam’s phone blasting _Dragon Attack_ from his pocket had them pulling apart regretfully. “Brian…” Adam flashed the screen at Tommy as he answered “Whataya want from me, London?”

Tommy chuckled and retrieved their, now cold, drinks from the ground, pointing back inside with the intention of getting them fresh coffee. He beamed happily as Adam grabbed his free hand and entwined their fingers, tugging him back into a single arm embrace with his arm across Tommy’s chest as Brian talked at top speed in Adam’s ear.

Tommy zoned out, happy to take all the tactile Adam and cuddles on offer. He jumped as Adam’s breath, soft against his ear, brought him back to reality “he wants to know if we all have to bring our own teeth!”

“Teeth?”

“He means vampire fangs for the show tomorrow…” Adam nipped Tommy’s ear gently, sparking a cascade of pleasure that headed directly for his groin and he bit his lip as he attempted to maintain control of his wayward blood supply, powerless to prevent a low moan escaping.

Adam just grinned wickedly and did it again before interrupting Brian’s seemingly endless monologue “I’ll bring mine because I want to make sure I can sing in them…” he laughed “ _yes_ I really do have my own set!” He paused, rolling his eyes “I’m a _Glampire…_ yeah, see you in a few!”

Tugging Tommy closer he sighed softly “we’d better get back inside and get ready…we’re gonna need that coffee!”

Rehearsals went well and they were in good spirits when they broke for lunch. Brian’s vampire teeth fears had been calmed after a conversation with the TV production company and Adam’s singing was as mind blowing as always, even with his fangs in place…

Playful as ever, he kept them in when they trooped over the street to their usual lunch haunt and caused havoc when he attempted to bite Tommy’s neck as the server took their order, her look of horror intensifying as he ordered his burger _rare…_

Laughter echoed around their booth and Tommy’s heart was content… _I love these fun times…seeing him so happy and carefree…_

After lunch they had one more run through of the two songs for Pretty Little Liars and spent another productive hour discussing the arrangements for the upcoming gigs in Japan. Then, with hugs all round, they split just after three.

“Tommy Joe…you got a minute?” Adam called him back as the others departed.

“For you, always! Anyway, you’re driving me home – you _do_ remember we came in your car!”

Adam grinned “smart arse!”

“Fucker!”

Draping an arm around Tommy’s shoulders, Adam steered them out to his car. “Assuming all goes to plan and we finish filming on schedule, I’m taking Sauli away for a few days to Cabo before we go to Japan. It’ll be quite tight timewise, getting back, so would you take control of the band stuff for me…I’ve added you as a signatory on the account.”

Emotions performing some impressive yoyo tricks, Tommy was both elated and anxious at the same time. For Adam to trust him with the band arrangements was massive – usually Adam oversaw everything himself; hot on the heels of that delight was the immediate anxiety that went hand-in-hand with that level of responsibility… _don’t let him down…_

Those considerations, huge though they were, were still dwarfed by the realisation that this unexpected break could be because Adam wanted to make his proposal to Sauli somewhere romantic and away from the complicated tangles of their busy lives… _I want to ask…but…_

Blowing his cheeks out as he exhaled, he nodded as Adam looked quizzically at him.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes!” He let out a breathless squeak as Adam squeezed him tightly.

“Thank you, baby…it’ll be nice to get away and just chill before the madness of the tour starts. Now all I have to do is pack!”

“And go ring shopping again!” It was out of Tommy’s mouth before he could stop it, biting his lip hard as he cursed himself in his head… _fuckfuckfuck…you and your big mouth…_

Adam shook his head. “We’re very happy as we are so I’m going to wait…no idea when but I’m sure the time will come! Until then, I’m going to revel in the domestic life and love, being loved and secure…”

Tommy couldn’t help smiling at the obvious love shining out of Adam’s eyes despite the sinking feeling in his stomach at the words… _you love him and how happy he is right now…_

Clicking his seatbelt into place, Tommy settled back against the soft leather as Adam eased out into the traffic and headed for home. The conversation revolved around the band arrangements and checking schedules and discussion of personal lives was temporarily shelved.

Once back at Adam’s they headed straight into the study and worked for another hour until Tommy was happy he had all the information and key codes he needed. Glancing around the room that was scattered with pictures of the band, of Adam and Sauli and with various belongings which were clearly the Finn’s, Tommy felt suddenly homesick and declined any more coffee, citing a looming headache from all the thinking!

As they pulled up outside Tommy’s building, he leant across and hugged Adam hard, climbed out swiftly and ran inside without looking back.

When Mike got home, Tommy was in the kitchen, every pot, pan and utensil surrounding him in a chaotic mess which belied the delicious aroma of chicken Provencal. Knowing this was a typical Tommy response to an emotional hurt, Mike dumped his work stuff and folded his roomie into a hug, tucking the pink mop of hair under his chin as Tommy clung on tightly, leaning into the reassuring warmth of Mike’s body.

Long minutes later, Tommy relaxed the death grip he had on Mike’s shirt and mumbled his thanks.

“y’okay now?” Mike pulled back to look searchingly at his best mate.

“’m fine…”

“Right, so that’s why you’ve demolished the kitchen and crushed my ribs!” Mike chided him gently, pulling back enough to look Tommy in the eyes. “Remember, I _know_ you kiddo, and you reek of broken heart…”

As Tommy’s eyes glistened with sudden tears, Mike folded him back into the hug. “’m sorry, I know how much you love him…”

Nodding, his hair tickling Mike’s chin, Tommy sniffled, talking into Mike’s shoulder “and ‘m happy for him….’cos he’s so happy and everythin’ but it…just gets me sometimes an’ I just need to…”

Mike rocked him gently “…I know…”

Finally, Tommy wriggled out of Mike’s arms and punched him lightly on the shoulder “thanks, dude, just don’t tell Tanya – she’ll think I’m a right sap!”

“Actually she thinks you’re an enigma; a mix of cute little kitten and wild tat horror sleeve! I think she’d love to see the sap as well…” Mike teased him fondly.

“Fucker…” Tommy gave Mike the finger, grinning. “Now, you damn well better be hungry ‘cos I’ve made enough to feed the block!”

Another meltdown crisis averted, they flopped in front of the TV with large bowls of surprisingly good Provencal, hunks of crusty bread and a beer, tucking in hungrily after toasting their friendship with a clunk of bottles.

They shared the mammoth task of restoring the kitchen to habitable status and returned to the TV to watch several episodes of Pretty Little Liars from the box set Adam had given to each of his band.

Four episodes later, Tommy set his alarm for fuck-early-o’clock and crawled off to bed.

He was still half asleep when he fell into Adam’s car at six the next morning. Adam was looking sickeningly wide awake and full of the joys of spring; eyes sparkling and freckled skin glowing. Tommy grunted a greeting and closed his eyes as Adam leant across to click Tommy’s seatbelt into place, pressing a fond kiss to his temple. Adam grinned; Tommy was so not a morning person!

“I got you a mega Cortado with an extra shot…” It had the desired effect. Tommy’s eyes flew open and he blinked.

“You did?”

Adam chuckled “I did!” He reached into the back to pluck the cup from the holder and placed it carefully into Tommy’s hands.

Raising it slowly to his lips, Tommy inhaled the rich aroma, a smile curving his mouth before he took a long drink. “Dude, I absolutely fucking love you!”

Laughing, Adam put the car into drive and pulled away. “I know! Now watch the crumbs!” He nodded “yep, in the glove box!”

Two cinnamon whirls and a giant coffee had an enlivening effect and they were chatting animatedly about the day ahead when they pulled up in the parking lot, moments ahead of Brian who was designated driver for Ashley and Isaac. As they all piled out of their vehicles, a smart young woman with a clipboard and a stack of lanyards in her hand, came to greet them. She reminded Tommy a little of Lane and a fond smile of remembrance lit his face.

After introducing herself, she handed around ID badges and indicated where they should park their cars once beyond the security barrier.

Once their instruments were unloaded and safely stowed on a cart for transportation to the set, their production liaison assistant, Ben, showed them around the main areas they’d be working in and explained the schedule for the day.

From his time on Idol, Adam knew there would be periods of frantic activity and lots of waiting around… However, a TV drama series was a whole new experience and they followed Ben with wide-eyed wonder as he pointed out the set and the various different key points for camera angles and sound.

Brief tour complete, he left them in the chuck lounge for breakfast.

Once fed and caffeinated, they were led away to wardrobe and make-up. As a veteran _Glampire_ of multiple Halloweens, Adam had ideas for how he wanted to look, pleased when he was able to combine some of their wardrobe pieces with his own to create a look they were both happy with, including the famous Lambert fangs!

Tommy and the others were having a wonderful time trying out different outfits until everyone was suitably attired and they took their seats in make-up. Lucy Hale, the star of the show, arrived as they were finishing their stint in the chairs and she introduced herself to everyone. She was as charming as she was beautiful and after chatting with them about the background to the episode and how much she was looking forward to hearing them perform, they were ushered back to the appropriately named _holding pen_ to await further instructions.

The director, head cameraman and sound engineer came to explain their roles and requirements and the PR woman, Riley, whom they’d met earlier outside the gates, took pictures of them for the website, promotional material and series archives.

It was gone midday by the time they were finally called onto the set and shown their places. The actual performance area was tiny in comparison to their usual stage and it was a bit of a shuffle to get everyone in with enough room to do their thing!

Half an hour of sound checking later, using a variety of different songs from their repertoire, and the sound department declared themselves happy with everything. Rehearsal followed that, followed by lunch where nobody ate anything as they were all stuffed from breakfast and Brian was still going on about his teeth!

During the break between rehearsal and actual filming, the script writer and producer had gone into an excited huddle after seeing the initial rushes from the soundcheck and after a brief conversation with Lucy Hale they’d called Adam over. More excitable hand waving ensued and Adam was observed grinning broadly a few minutes later.

“What d’you think’s going on?” Isaac draped an arm around Tommy’s and Ashley’s waists and leant between them as he posed the question in a hushed voice.

“Not a fucking clue, dude, but it’s not bad whatever it is as they’re all smiling and Adam looks pretty happy…”

As they watched, Adam shook hands with the two suits and hugged Lucy carefully, obviously not wanting to damage either of their costumes, and rejoined them.

Before they could ask what it was about, they were ushered back to the set to take their places.  

Excitement bubbled in Tommy’s tummy as the director glanced around at his crew before shouting _action…_

_This was it…_

The moment they began to play, it was another gig and they lost themselves in the music and their audience. The director allowed the first three takes to run the complete scene with their two songs in their entirety for sound matching. The next half dozen takes were part songs to allow for camera angle changes and close ups.

The final call of cut and print came shortly after and the band were done, a mere nine hours after arriving at the studios. The director was very pleased having allowed two days for this part of the episode, shaking them warmly by the hand as he waved them off the set before turning to Adam “rehearsal in five…” nodding as he moved away.

Four pairs of eyes fixed themselves on their grinning boss. “They’ve given me a short scene with Lucy…it’s just a hello in the carriage as I’m supposedly between sets…” His grin widened, showing his fangs in full glory, as they closed around him in a group hug. “Yeah, I’m stoked and apparently she’s a huge fan too!”

The sound engineer caught Adam’s eye and tapped his watch, a reminder to get moving. Adam nodded and stepped out of the warm circle of bodies “Dinner tonight? All of us? I think we’ve earned it?”

With happy affirmatives ringing in his ears, Adam disappeared from sight as the others made it back to wardrobe. After taking some fun pictures, they reversed the process from early that morning to revert back to human form.

Meanwhile, Adam was rehearsing his few lines and after several run-throughs, they rolled film and went for it. Three takes was all it took before Lucy was hugging him tightly and he was heading back to wardrobe to find the others.

Dinner was a riotous affair with lots of laughter, tacos and beer and Adam’s lounge echoed to the sound of fun and friendship. It was well into the morning hours when quiet finally reigned once more, Tommy fast asleep on the sofa, Ashley in the guest room and Adam sprawled out in the armchair. Brian and Isaac had been collected by an amused Sophie as the pair had serenaded her with a painfully out-of-tune version of _Isn’t she lovely…_

Ashley woke first and wandered downstairs to find some coffee. Adam and Tommy were both still asleep, their joined hands across the gap between sofa and easy chair bringing a soft smile to her face. The two were so close…

By the time she’d found everything in the kitchen, they were awake and both stretching carefully to work out the chinks in their bodies from sleeping at odd angles.

“Morning!”

“Oh! Yeah! Morning!” They gazed at her in her emerald underwear and stiletto boots, the blood red rose tattoo on her hip bone standing out clearly against the smooth creamy colour of her skin.

Turning back into the kitchen, she chuckled at their stunned faces and poured three mugs of strong coffee.

“Pain killers?”

“Huh?” Adam and Tommy made a cute double act, echoing each other as they took a mug off the tray Ash held out.

“My head is thudding! Where d’you keep your Aspirin?”

“Top shelf, far side opposite the cooker or bathroom cabinet…” Adam answered automatically, unable to tear his eyes away from the trailing thorns that dripped petals like raindrops across her flesh and disappeared beneath green satin and cream lace.

“Thanks!” swinging around in the doorway she grinned. “Adam, you’re staring! In case you don’t remember, I’m not your type!”

Tommy spluttered into his coffee, he adored Ashley’s sassy attitude, grinning at her in response to the wink she gave him.

Adam finally forced his gaze up to her amused face, a rare blush colouring his cheeks “Hey, I’m gay, not blind and you are fucking beautiful!”

It was Ash’s turn to blush “thanks Boss-man, now I need to get some clothes on!” Dropping the pill pot into Tommy’s hand as she sashayed past them, both still gaping, she paused and pressed a light kiss to their cheeks before vanishing back upstairs.

“Fuck, she’s hot!” Tommy’s voice was hushed, genuine admiration evident. "Isaac and Brian’ll kill us for not getting pictures!"

They stared at each other, imagining their friend’s faces, sudden laughter bubbling out as they slumped back onto the sofa to drink their coffee.

Ashley returned about twenty minutes later, freshly showered and wearing one of Adam’s t-shirts over her skimpy top. Adam made merry with the grill pan and Tommy sliced the rye loaf from the bread bin, the three sharing a laughter-filled breakfast of bacon sandwiches before Ashley left in Brian’s car.

Left alone, Adam and Tommy ran through the band arrangements for Japan one final time. After insisting he was fine with a cab, Tommy hugged Adam fiercely and picked up his jacket.

“Have a fucking awesome time in Cabo and give Sauli my love…” he grinned “…preferably _before_ you give him yours!”

Adam’s throaty chuckle set his neglected butterflies hopping excitedly and started a riot in corpuscle control. Forcing his brain away from the growing bulge in his jeans, Tommy pressed a swift kiss to Adam’s lips and made a run for it.    

Once in the cab, he leant back and closed his eyes, his head filled with different images from the past few days. A contented smile curved his lips… _life was pretty fucking awesome right now…_


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For dancerjb, with love for her special birthday xx

The next few days were filled with frantic activity as Tommy worked through his checklist step by step to make sure everything was ready and where it all should be; when it all should be, for their next venture… _Japan…yeah, fucking Japan…so cool…_

Adam, being the consummate professional he was, made all this look easy and Tommy realised for the first time, just how much work it took to get everything hooked together. Admittedly, the shipping company had probably not needed his twenty sixth or subsequent calls to check everything was still a go!

Luckily, Casey, a sweet and patient, softly spoken Southern gal from the company, took him under her wing and showed him how to track and use the different integrated systems so he wouldn’t need to phone everyone. With his blood pressure reducing rapidly, he rechecked he had everything set and swiftly ordered Casey a massive bouquet of flowers with a thank you note.

Finally able to relax, he stuck a Hendrix CD into the player and jammed around the living room. Breathless and buzzing as the last track ended, he dropped onto the sofa and tugged his phone out to check the messages that had vibrated in his pocket as he’d been in mid-riff during _Red House…_

He had three messages from Adam and one from Sauli. The winged creatures in his stomach fluttered softly, in anticipation of seeing Adam again after five days of complete radio silence since the last message, saying he was waiting for Sauli’s plane to land from Helsinki and then they’d be out of range for the duration of their trip.

He opened Sauli’s message first; the glorious picture of a white sand beach and azure blue sea… _the colour of Adam’s eyes…_ under a cloudless sky was accompanied with the simple message **Paradise! We are rested well. See you soon minun ystäväni!**  Thumbing a swift reply, Tommy pressed send and moved on to Adam’s messages.

The first was confirmation of their arrival time. The flight was running about thirty minutes behind schedule; not a surprise as Tommy had already utilised his newfound skills, courtesy of Casey, to check on the flight and update the driver waiting for them at the airport.  

The second was a picture of the view from their bedroom balcony as the sun set, a stunning view out over the sea with the sky a mass of fiery reds and golds as the sinking sun kissed the horizon. Adam hadn’t added any words other than the title **Breathtaking**

The final message had Tommy’s mouth dropping open and his blood supply stampeding in a southerly direction. Adam, _the_ undisputed master of the selfie, had taken one of himself on the beach, the sparkling sea behind him as he grinned happily into the tiny screen on his phone. The sun lit his beautiful features, making his bare freckled chest glisten with a soft sheen and then there was his hair..? _fuck!_ His hair was now dyed a platinum blond and even on the beach, it was styled _just so_ , casually tousled for that hotter-than-fuck I-want-to-run-my-fingers-through-it- _now_ look.   **Whataya think of the colour?**

**_Fucking hot! You’re seriously rockin’ that sex on legs look, babyboy!_** Tommy’s fingers tapped out the reply and sent it before his brain could catch up and censor it.

**Glad you like it baby! It’s your eyes only for now... See you at our place in a bit. A**

_Our…_ He felt that one word like a body blow and he grimaced, forcing his reluctant thoughts away from certain heartache, to concentrate instead on their trip the following day. With Sauli staying in LA to film some TV for his Finnish roadshow and his friends coming over to stay, it meant Tommy would have Adam to himself for a while again…

_He could be forgiven for the flurry of anticipation in his stomach surely?_

Tommy’s case had been packed – and unpacked and repacked after suggestions from Mike as to the clothes that made him look cute as fuck – since day two of Adam’s break away. All that remained was his wash bag which he’d chuck in tomorrow.

Grabbing his jacket, he loped down the stairs and headed over to Adam’s, let himself in and unpacked the groceries he’d bought, which included both Adam’s _and_ Sauli’s favourite items, before getting a pot of coffee ready to switch on once they were nearer home.

Chores done, he flopped onto the sofa and charted their arrival progress through Twitter; gotta love the ninja fans and their happy sharing of photos. He zoomed in on a couple of snaps as they made their way towards the car; they both looked good, tanned, rested and relaxed, beaming at the cameras and each other. Adam had his new hair colour hidden as much as possible under a baseball cap, but already there were close-ups of the tiny glimpse of silver and the signs of an excitable twitter meltdown!

Grinning as he followed the various conversations and speculation grew ever wilder, Tommy suddenly noticed an envelope with his name on propped up on the table. Putting his phone aside, he pushed himself to his feet and opened it.

_Tommy Joe_

_A little something for you in the study with love from us both_

_Adam & Sauli xx_

Curiosity piqued, Tommy headed to the study and pushed open the door. On the music stand was a large painted picture of him and Adam from GlamNation. Adam was in his full _Voodoo_ getup and Tommy was pressed up against him, Adam’s hand splayed possessively over Tommy’s chest. Peering closer at the legend at the bottom of the picture gave Tommy the answer to his question: **_Tokyo 2010 GNT_**  

It was a full length picture but the artist had totally captured their faces; Adam was singing and Tommy playing, his eyes closed and mouth pouting just a little. They looked in perfect harmony, lost in each other and the music.

Tommy’s eyes filled with sudden tears and his heart beat faster as he was transported back to the heady days of the GNT… He was still lost in memories, gazing at it when Adam’s voice calling his name brought him back to the present.

“You like it then?” Adam gasped as Tommy flung himself into his arms and hugged him tightly, legs wrapping around Adam’s calves as he pressed into the warmth of his body and immersed himself in that unique scent that was _Adam…_

_“I fucking love it!_ Thank you…thank you!”

Adam chuckled and tightened his hold “I’ll take that as a yes!” Pulling back, he smiled and pressed a soft chaste kiss to Tommy’s lips. “I…we…wanted to give you a little something to show you just how much we appreciated the chance to get away this week. You need to choose a frame for it so we can get it finished…” He planted Tommy back on his feet and entwined their fingers, leading him back to the living room where Sauli was rummaging in one of the suitcases, bent low over the case with his back to them.

“ _Sauli Koskinen…”_ the low throaty growl from his boyfriend had the Finn playfully shaking his arse before leaping up and spinning around, a huge grin appearing on his on his face as he spied Tommy. Winking at Adam as he nudged him aside with his hip, Sauli tugged Tommy into a hug.

“Thank you for the awesome picture!” Tommy squeezed Sauli tightly.

“It is a wonderful painting. We have one also for the wall in here.”

Tommy glanced around the room, following Sauli’s pointing finger to a space along the main wall. “It is at the frame maker now and will grace our room…”

Nodding, Tommy stepped away and headed to the kitchen to switch the coffee on. When he returned to the living room, Adam had Sauli wrapped into his arms and was kissing him tenderly, one hand moving to caress his cheek softly.

Tommy froze, his stomach twisting unhappily as he noted, yet again, how perfectly they fitted together, their lips moving in harmony against each other, bodies pressed chest to hip… Biting down so hard on his bottom lip he tasted the coppery tang of blood, he backed away into the kitchen and leant weakly against the worktop… _fuckfuckfuck…get a grip Ratliff…_

Tugging his phone out of his pocket, he scrolled down his messages until he found Alla’s from earlier that morning and took a deep breath before thumbing a text back.

**Nine okay? Or eight if you want to eat – it’s tacos! Bring your guitar! Glad you can make it! Alla x** Her reply was almost instantaneous and helped to soothe the ache in his chest. Not wanting to venture back into the other room, he clattered the mugs together loudly as he poured the coffee and placed them on a tray.

Adam appeared in the doorway as he was trying to decide how long he could delay. “Coffee? You’re perfect, Tommy Joe!” His smile was so warm and genuine, it hurt.

_But not perfect enough…_ Tommy couldn’t help the bitter retort from bouncing around in his head, his emotions once again careering wildly out of control, despite the warmth that seeped through his veins as Adam smiled at him again.  

He cracked a grin and picked up the tray, following Adam back into the living room. Sauli was now sat cross legged on the floor with his eyes closed and appeared to be doing some form of yoga exercise.

“Ignore him!” Adam laughed as Tommy raised an enquiring eyebrow. “He says he needs to stretch out his muscles after the journey. I did volunteer to help but he rejected my offers of assistance!” His flirty wink left no doubt as to the method of assistance Adam was referring to, but rather than adding to the hurt already coiled in his belly, Tommy found himself laughing at the indignant pout on Adam’s face.

“Guess you’ll have to make do with coffee for now…and I got some of those vegetable chip things you like…”

Adam’s face lit up. “I love them! No idea why, but the idea of chips made from beetroot and carrot just seems so…sooooo…” he shook his head, searching for the right word.

“Contradictory? Cheating? Warped?” Tommy suggested, sipping his coffee thoughtfully.

“Warped! Definitely _warped!_ ” Leaping up from the chair, Adam vanished into the kitchen and rustled around in the cupboard, contented humming and riffs floating back into the other room.

Left alone with Sauli, Tommy watched the Finn stretching his supple body into all manner of peculiar positions and did his utmost to avoid picturing Adam enjoying that flexibility in the bedroom. He almost succeeded…

Sauli gave a final grunt of approval as his leg straightened over his head and opened his eyes “now I feel I am at home again!” he rose elegantly to his feet and retrieved his coffee mug from the low table before joining Tommy on the sofa. The three spent a pleasant hour chatting, munching vegetable chips and looking at photos of the island – which was absolutely beautiful – and catching up on news.

Gathering the mugs together and taking them through to the sink, Tommy retrieved his jacket and scooped his keys from by the phone.

Adam’s face fell “you’re going so soon? I thought you’d stay for dinner…I was going to order take out?”

“Sorry, got a farewell band date with Alla…” Tommy’s ruffled butterflies were somewhat soothed by the look of disappointment on Adam’s face as he accompanied Tommy to the door and folded him into a warm hug.

“See you in the morning, Glitterbaby…oh and keep an eye on Twitter – I’m going to tweet my new hair in a bit!” He pressed a swift chaste kiss to Tommy’s lips and released him.

Tommy left quickly, resisting the urge to turn back as he felt Adam’s gaze following him all the way to the elevator.

He had a fun time with Alla, Matt and Liz and the four of them ate, drank, laughed and played their way until past one the next morning. Shaking his head at another _spin-the-genre_ wheel they’d been jamming with, Tommy stretched and yawned. “Sorry guys, I really gotta go! ‘m on a flight in five hours an’ I gotta get sorted or I won’t be ready when Adam comes to pick me up! Don’t want him kickin’ my arse for that, especially as I turned his dinner offer down last night to come hang with you guys!”

“You came _here_ instead of dinner with him?” Liz clapped her hand over her mouth, a fierce blush colouring her cheeks as she realised she’d said it out loud.

Tommy’s raised eyebrow only served to intensify the colour on her face as she attempted damage limitation “…um…I mean..er…”

Alla looked warily from one to the other, the worry evaporating as Tommy threw his head back and laughed “as I said, we’re not joined at the hip, but I will _always_ say yes to him when it comes to playing guitar for him; not only is it my job, but I absolutely love performing with him…”

 “You’re amazing up on stage with him…” Liz smiled, picked up her jacket, bag and bass and turned to Alla, missing Tommy’s stunned expression of surprise as he swapped silent _what the?_ messages with their hostess. “I must be going too. Great night, both of you, thanks…” She turned back to face Tommy, this time missing Alla’s grin and thumbs up to Tommy over her shoulder. “I’ll walk with you TJ…”

The short distance to their cars was filled with the ongoing discussion of the chord changes in one of Alla’s new Halo Circus songs. Alla was undecided whether to add the change in the bridge or keep it as originally written and creative opinion was divided…

Their cars were parked behind each other, reaching Tommy’s first. Unlocking the doors, he put his guitar carefully on the back seat and held his hand out to take Liz’s from her so she could unlock her car. Once bass, bag and coat were safely landed, he straightened up to find himself pulled into a hug. Liz’s arms tightened around him, one hand sliding around the back of his neck as she leant in for a kiss.

Caught by surprise, Tommy went with it, the softness of her lips against his and the familiar fragrance of her perfume taking him back to those early days of their relationship. It had been good back then…

His arms folded around her and he kissed her back.   

Breaking apart, they stood in companionable silence, arms still linked, as they leant against Liz’s car. “I really have to go now…”

“I know…” Her whisper was warm against his neck “call me when you get back?” Liz looked up at him “no promises…just to see where it goes…”

Pressing their lips together briefly, Tommy grinned “I’ll call…” Stepping back, he opened her car door “see ya, Hill” He watched as she drove away before climbing into his own car and heading home.

A few hours later, sleepy and caffeine deprived, he flopped into Adam’s official car, lay across Adam’s lap and went back to sleep as Adam carded his fingers softly through Tommy’s hair.

Once at the airport, luggage checked in and boarding passes procured, Adam led him away to the executive lounge and proceeded to fill him with coffee and breakfast until he once again resembled the human known as Tommy Joe Ratliff!

“Thanks, dude, I needed that!” Tommy drained the last of his orange juice and patted his full tummy contentedly. He gazed at Adam, his head tilted thoughtfully to one side “I really fucking love that hair colour on you…”

Adam laughed happily “It was a moment of madness, but I felt like a change and why the hell not, I say!” He grinned and preened proudly “I almost broke Twitter! My awesome Glamberts are trying to decide the proper name of the colour…it appears there’s quite a healthy debate raging!”

Tommy pushed out of his chair and moved closer, his face inches away from Adam’s hair as he inspected the colour. Inhaling, he breathed in that intoxicating aroma that was a mix of lime and ginger shampoo, that warm spicy scent of his aftershave balm and underneath that _just Adam…_ Closing his eyes, he couldn’t help the tiny huff of pleasure that dropped unbidden from his lips.

Adam’s gentle chuckle sent a faint hint of pink to his cheeks as his eyes flew open, a chuckle that turned swiftly to a groan “you know what your blushing does to me, Glitterbaby!” For an instant, that electricity was back, the air between them supercharged with heat as they gazed at each other.

A waitress coming to clear the plates, broke the spell and Tommy dropped back into his chair “platinum! Definitely platinum, and it looks awesome!” He tugged at his own pink locks “it makes mine look tired in comparison…”

Adam grinned, that wild, excited grin that Tommy had come to associate with madcap ideas and things that were definitely from the cuckoo train! “Excuse me…” he put a gentle hand on the waitress’ arm “is the salon still upstairs?”

The waitress nodded, smiling. “It is, Mr Lambert. Would you like me to call them to see if they have anyone available?”

“Please…and it’s Adam!” he rubbed his hands together as her trim form disappeared into the distance.

“What are you thinking?” Tommy’s grin suggested that he was finding this just as exciting.

“No idea ‘till we get up there! We’ve got masses of time before our flight…” Adam glanced down at his hands “I might see if we can grab a manicure as well…”

He smiled as the waitress returned “They’re expecting you whenever you’re ready, Mr La…Adam.”

“Thank you…” Adam peered at her name badge. “…Shannon! C’mon Tommy Joe! Let’s go pick a new colour for your hair!” Winking at Shannon as she gathered up the last of the china, he stood and held out his hands for Tommy, tugging him from his chair before they retrieved their flight bags and headed for the lift.

Tommy was amazed to find a complete health suite upstairs, buzzing with people, yet still giving off a sense of calm and serenity. Adam steered Tommy towards the hair salon. It was quieter here, with just two women in chairs. They were met by a tiny brunette who shook their hands and led them over to a massive sofa. She handed Tommy a ring binder full of cards of tiny hair twists. “These are all the colours we can offer…did you have any particular direction in mind?”

Tommy looked at Adam “do we?”

Adam grinned “how about ‘outrageous’?” He pointed at one of the swatches.

Tommy giggled “really?”

Planting a kiss on the end of Tommy’s nose, Adam nodded.

“Then we go outrageous!” Handing the folder back to the stylist he grinned “that one, please!”

As Tommy was settled in a chair at the far end of the salon, Adam returned to the reception desk to ask about manicures. A few minutes later, he was sat in the chair next to Tommy’s as a pretty oriental young woman began massaging cream into his hands.

The time flew past in a blur of fun conversation and more serious discussion of the upcoming promotional shows. Once Adam’s nails were shaped, buffed and finished with two coats of glossy black, the manicurist moved across to repeat the process on Tommy’s.

When the protective cape was finally removed from his shoulders, Tommy was spun around to survey the finished result in the mirror. “Wow! It’s very…”

“You! It’s very _you_ , Tommy Joe and it’s gorgeous!”

“It’s very blue!” Tommy ran his fingers through his fringe. Karin had cut the sides shorter and shaped it getting longer on one side as he liked it and the wedge cut really added definition to his elfin features.

Adam perched on the shelf in front of Tommy’s chair and cupped his chin in one hand, tipping his face up to press a gentle kiss to his lips. “Let’s go find the others and you can blow their fucking minds!”

Adam insisted on paying for the entire pamper session, adding a generous tip each for Karin and the manicurist. They made their way back down to the lounge and grabbed a quick coffee. Adam took a picture of Tommy which he sent to Sauli and they were just checking the departures board when their flight was called.

The others went crazy for Tommy’s new blue hair, Brian suggesting he should now be introduced as Tommy Blue Ratliff… Laughing, they found their seats on the plane.

It was a long flight and they whiled away the time watching films, talking music and tattoos and dozing fitfully. Finally through immigration and bag retrieval, they staggered wearily out to arrivals to find the car. The fans welcomed them enthusiastically, many dressed in yellow and black and waving Trespassing themed flags. They signed for as many as they could as they were ushered through the thronging crowds and out to the waiting vehicle.

Tommy pulled the tour manager to one side to check on the status of their gear, relieved beyond words when reassured that everything had arrived on schedule. Adam chuckled when Tommy rejoined him, knowing that whilst he had every faith in his best friend and guitarist, Tommy was less convinced of his abilities!”

“All okay?”

“Yep!” Tommy rolled his eyes “Fucker! You know it is!”

“I do!  Had every faith in you!”

“Yeah, well…”

Adam punched his arm lightly “You go, Tommy Blue!” Draping an arm around Tommy’s shoulders they made their way back to the others.

Once on board the car, they waved to the cheering fans and headed to the hotel. Tommy checked twitter, which was full of pictures of their arrival already, multiple retweets and comments about both his and Adam’s hair. It resonated with love and affection and Tommy found himself smiling fondly as he followed the different conversation threads.

After a brief talk with their tour manager, Adam dug his phone out and called Sauli, leaning back into his seat contentedly as he exchanged news with the man he adored.

Whilst Tommy was fully immersed in the world of social media, it was still impossible for him to tune out Adam completely and when Adam’s voice dropped to a throaty whisper, it sent a simultaneous thrill of desire to his groin and a twist of the knife embedded in his gut. Biting his lip hard, his unwilling ears honed in on that hotter-than-fuck sexy growl “you did? Send me a picture…when we get back you know I’m going to lick it and…”

“Okay, we’re here!” Bradford, the tour manager, turned from his seat up front with the driver. “It looks like we have another army of fans here to greet you. Adam, how’d you want to play this?”

“Huh?” Adam’s head jerked up as he caught his name “Hang on!” he went back to his phone “sorry sweetheart, I gotta go. I’ll call later…don’t forget my picture! You betcha!” that low chuckle did delightful things to Tommy’s nether regions and he forced his mind to concentrate on completing mundane shipping paperwork to neutralise the immediate boner that sprang to life in his pants.

Adam’s impassioned “Love you” as he hung up, supplied the final killer blow and Tommy breathed again. Meeting fans with a prominent bulge in his trousers for his boss would not have been a good idea!

“So, Adam?” Bradford repeated patiently, his tiny smile suggesting he was already enjoying this assignment.

“Um, what do you think guys – we up for a bit of fan interaction? Ten minutes okay with everyone?”

“I’ll do camera duty…they won’t want to be meeting me!” Rick laughed “it’s you and your pretty kitty they want!”

“They get us _all_ ” Adam repeated firmly “I’d be nothing without you guys and the fans know that! But, if you want to spare their cameras that ugly mug of yours…” he grinned as Rick gave him the finger “you go right ahead!”

“I’ll sort the luggage and check-in and be back in ten minutes then” Bradford nodded and exited the car to make sure there was a clear path through the excited crowd. Once the barrier ropes were in place, Bradford [Tommy just couldn’t see him as a _Brad,_ with his sturdy and imposing frame and upright bearing that reminded him just a bit of Jonathan Frakes from Star Trek NextGen, and was _as far away_ from Cheeks as it was possible to be!] opened the sliding door and they piled out to screams of delight from the waiting fans.

Rick was as good as his word and took pictures for the thrilled Glamberts as they posed with Adam and the various members of the band. As Bradford reappeared, they regrouped and trooped inside to the relative calm and tranquillity of the hotel lobby.

Key cards were handed out and they headed off to their rooms. Tommy squeezed in between Rick and Brian to catch up with Ashley. “Don’t tell the others, I booked you an executive bathroom…know how you like to soak in the tub!”

Ashley grinned “your secret’s safe with me…along with the rest of your secrets!” She winked and flicked a sideways glance at Adam as he strolled alongside the porter.

Blushing fiercely, Tommy was glad he had Ash as an ally “Remind me never to piss you off!”

“You could never do that! Thanks for the love, Teebie” she kissed his cheek as they stopped outside her door.

Brian and Rick were next to be landed a few doors further down and finally Adam and Tommy, whose rooms were next to each other, and Tommy knew from sorting out the bookings that they also had a connecting door! There were definite advantages to having the responsibility of booking the hotel…

Unpacked - carefully and according to the Sauli school of clothing care! – Tommy knocked on Adam’s door.

“Tommy?” Adam opened it, a puzzled look on his face “why are you using the door in the hallway when we have a connecting door?”

“Didn’t wanna assume…” Tommy shrugged carelessly.

“Idiot!” Adam’s voice held nothing but warmth as he tugged Tommy into his arms and tucked the blue mop under his chin. Tightening his hold, he sighed happily “this trip’s gonna be fucking awesome…”

Tommy hummed contentedly and lost himself in everything that was _Adam…_

They stood wrapped around each other for long comfortable minutes, time an irrelevance until the impatient buzzing of multiple messages vibrated in Adam’s pocket, mirrored in Tommy’s seconds later.

Releasing him reluctantly, Adam grinned ruefully. “I think we’re being summoned!” as they both checked identical ‘where are you?’ messages from Brian and Rick and a lighter version from Ashley suggesting that if they didn’t appear shortly she’d be off to take a soak in her rather awesome bath…

With the full band line-up now present, Brian ran through the setlist and dates of the concert performances. Everyone double checked their calendar notes on their phones before Brian handed over to Bradford. Most of his information was concentrated on the umpteen radio interviews Adam would be doing over the next week, starting with a live interview the following day at Tokyo FM, before the Sony Fan Event in the evening where Adam would be singing one song, _Trespassing_ , this being the amended version to remove the word ‘arse’ from the lyrics.

The twelfth to the fourteenth were designated press days, some live, some phone, followed by the Festival concert Mezamashi Live being hosted by the Fuji TV network in the evening on the fifteenth. There were two scheduled radio interviews that morning plus the following day Adam had some advance ones for their trip to Australia and several magazine and television spots in the lead up to Summer Sonic.

Summer Sonic, Tokyo was the eighteenth, then they’d travel across Japan by train to play Osaka the following day, finally departing for Australia on the twentieth.

“And that wraps up this briefing. Any questions?” Bradford glanced around, nothing but silence greeting his concluding words. “Fantastic! I’ll leave you all to settle in and Adam, we’ll run through the morning stuff over breakfast tomorrow if that’s okay with you?” As Adam nodded his agreement, Bradford shuffled his papers efficiently and took his leave.

Tommy gasped at the massive list of interviews Bradford had lined up for Adam, way more than he’d ever done previously. He pointed at the screen, blinking. “ _How many?_ ”

Adam shrugged, “It’s all part of the job, baby, they all have to have their piece of me before we get to sing for our supper!” He smiled “It’s not that bad, some are really fun when they go out of their way to find some new questions to ask…”

“I could keep you company some of the time?”

“Would you?” The delight in Adam’s eyes sent warmth tingling through Tommy’s veins and he vowed to climb mountains if needed to be there by Adam’s side.

They were all somewhat weary after the long journey, so after an enjoyable band dinner, they split, Ash, Tommy and Adam to their rooms, Brian and Rick retiring to the bar for a quiet drink.

“Wanna watch a film?” Adam suggested as they rode the elevator up to their floor.

Ashley shook her head “Not for me, I’m going for that long soak in the tub…”

“Glitterbaby?”

“’kay…” Tommy yawned “I might fall asleep…”

Adam laughed “no change there! You always fall asleep when we watch anything!”

Tommy stuck his tongue out and shoved Adam playfully against the wall. Ashleigh shook her head fondly as the pair fought like puppies, finally falling out of the door as the elevator arrived on their floor, hair standing on end and clothes askew from their attempts to tickle each other into submission.

Hugging Ashleigh good night, they moved on to Adam’s room, each still trying to trip the other until they reached the door. Calling a truce, they made it safely through the door and flopped onto the bed on their tummies as Adam called up the films on the hotel movie channel.

“Quite a good selection for a hotel…” Adam commented as he scrolled through the list on the screen “oh, nice hotel choice, by the way and I thoroughly approve of the executive bathroom for Ashley…that girl just loves a bubble bath!” He grinned as Tommy squirmed beside him “and yes, I know about the bottles of Jack in Rick’s and Brian’s rooms too. My ThroatCoat tea and bags of veggie chips was sweet of you and that giant bar of Lindt isn’t going to hang around long! You know all my favourites, Tommy Joe!”

Tugging Tommy into a full body hug, he pressed a soft kiss to his temple before suddenly pulling back. “Why didn’t you give yourself something extra?”

Tommy buried his face into Adam’s chest as his cheeks turned a flaming shade of red. “I…er…fuck!”he mumbled against the fabric of Adam’s top.

“Can’t hear you, baby?” Adam tipped Tommy’s face up to gaze into his eyes “what did you get yourself?”

“I… _fuck_ …” the colour flooding back to his face as Adam’s searching stare penetrated his soul. His voice dropped to a whisper “…connecting door…”

Adam looked puzzled “ _that’s_ your extra treat?”

He might as well get it over with “…so I’m nearer to you…” Tommy cringed as he whispered his confession.

“Aw, baby, that is so sweet!” Adam’s blue eyes danced and he hugged Tommy so tightly he thought his ribs would crack. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m so glad you auditioned that day…”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Tommy wriggled in the tight embrace “me too!” he gasped, the breath squeezed out of him.

“Let’s get comfortable and choose a film…” they both chose to ignore the hitch in Adam’s voice.

They hovered between The Amazing Spiderman, The Hunger Games and Avengers Assemble until, scrolling right to the bottom of the list one title leapt out at them both and they exclaimed together “Rock of Ages!”

Cuddling up in their time immemorial fashion, Adam pressed play and they watched as Tom Cruise let out his inner rock child…

Half an hour into it, Tommy fell asleep, curled into Adam’s side as he twisted his hand possessively in Adam’s top. Grinning down at the blue hair spread out over his chest, Adam pulled Tommy in closer and closed his own eyes.

He was almost asleep when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He considered ignoring it as he was too warm and comfortable to move, but curiosity got the better of him and he dug it carefully out of his pocket to avoid waking Tommy.

It was the picture from Sauli. The close up of the new larger butterfly addition to the tattoo on his neck sent a rush of heat surging through Adam’s body. The “you lick it?” play on words from their conversation earlier that day conjuring up images of crawling down his boyfriend’s body, licking his tattoos until the Finn was a writhing, whimpering mess, before sliding into that hot tight heat and thrusting until they both exploded into ecstasy.

The swelling in his trousers throbbed painfully against the restriction of tight denim and he shifted carefully, lips clamped tight to stop a needy moan escaping.

Tommy grunted in his sleep and shuffled sideways, turning onto his side to resettle with his back to Adam’s predicament. Adam was staring at the picture when a second message lit up the screen. “I want you Adam. Now. Hard. Fast.”

The resultant throbbing was too much to bear and he fumbled one-handed with his belt, the other arm still captive under Tommy. Buckle defeated, he popped the button and pushed the zip down, sliding his hand inside to adjust the discomfort. The result was twofold; the pressure eased, but the second his fingers slid over his heated flesh, he was powerless to prevent the bucking up of his hips as his grip tightened.

Tommy mumbled in protest against the sudden movement, turning again, this time onto his front with his head pressed into the pillow, facing away from his panting and horny bedmate. As the weight of Tommy’s body lifted from his captive arm in the reshuffle, Adam tugged it out of the way and it replaced his left hand in his pants.

With his other hand now free, Adam checked Tommy was still asleep and pressed call on his phone.

“Ad-aaaaaam” Sauli’s purred greeting did nothing to lessen the desire that was growing by the second and Adam gasped as his hand moved of its own volition.

“Sauli…” the breathy moan was enough to confirm to his boyfriend that a long distance mutual jerk off session was underway.

“I need you, Ad-aaaam” Sauli groaned as his own hand tightened under the covers…

“I can’t…”

“…noooow…need it…”

“Tommy…he’s asleep next to me…” Adam whimpered softly as Sauli panted hard in his ear.

“Please, Adam…so hot for you…”         

Tommy lay still, feigning sleep – whatever had woken him, he wasn’t expecting this.

“ _I…fuck Sauli…fuck…_ ” Adam’s needy moan sounded loudly in the still of the room and Tommy knew he’d have to move now or he’d be listening to things no-one in love with their best friend should ever have to endure.

Yawning loudly, he stretched and made a show of rolling over very slowly, his ears catching the faintly whispered “ _sssh hang on!”_ and the rapid rustle of fabric as Adam hurriedly made himself decent.

On the screen, Russell Brand was declaring his undying love for Alec Baldwin in a touching song of ridiculously extreme cuteness. The irony stung like acid in Tommy’s eyes and he rubbed them hard to smudge the tears before they could be witnessed.

With a performance worthy of an Oscar, Tommy lurched sleepily towards Adam’s face, planted a soft kiss on his cheek and mumbled in what he hoped was a convincing sleep-slurred whisper “’m gonna go to my bed now, babyboy…too sleepy…catch you t’morrow…”

He closed his eyes to blank out the sweat beads on Adam’s forehead and the lust-blown, almost black irises as the love of his life smiled and nodded.

“Night, baby…”

As Tommy closed the connecting door he heard the deep moan of pleasure as action clearly restarted over the miles. Staggering to his bed he threw himself on it and stared up into the dark. He couldn’t hear anything more but that didn’t stop the tears trickling hot and wet down his face to soak into his pillow.

It was a long time until Tommy went back to sleep.

It seemed like mere moments since he’d finally closed his eyes, when Adam bounded into his room the next morning. “Wake up sleepy kitty! What do you think of **_Musica Delenit Bestiam Feram_** “

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” He glared at Adam, noting the glow of love and happiness that radiated from him “do you know what the fucking time is?”

“Yep, it’s six thirty and it’s a beautiful day to get a new tattoo…”


	13. Chapter 13

After bribing Tommy with coffee and working his undeniable sex appeal to charm him _out_ of bed… _well there’s a fucking irony…_ Adam extracted the promise of accompaniment to the tattoo parlour, even stirring some excitement as they discussed choosing a new tat for Tommy together, once the required morning briefing was out of the way.

“If we have breakfast now, we can just have coffee with Bradford and then go hit up the tat studio?” Adam was a real live wire this morning and despite the heartache that still gnawed deep in his belly from the events of last night, Tommy couldn’t help the grin that spread over his face as Adam looked hopefully at him, all huge shining eyes and pleading smile.

Gasping as Adam folded him into a hug and squeezed tight, Tommy managed a breathless “yes!” before the air was driven from his lungs by the sheer exuberance of Adam’s embrace. Curling his hands into the fabric of Adam’s t-shirt, Tommy allowed himself to wallow in the delicious sensation of everything _Adam_ and the lingering hurt melted away to leave the familiar, almost comforting, tang of bittersweet love. _Adam was here…with him…right now…in Tommy’s bedroom…_

_Fuck I’m almost naked!_

Hard… _yeah, another pun…_ on the heels of that thought, Tommy’s entire supply of corpuscles surged southwards and he wriggled hurriedly out of Adam’s arms before his burgeoning boner could dig into Adam’s thigh.

“Gotta…y’know!” As explanations went, it sucked, but the banging of the bathroom door probably helped with the translation despite of his lack of coherent speech. After relieving the pressure on his bladder, with some difficulty in directional control, Tommy then turned the shower on to warm and stuck his head back around the bathroom door.

“Just…I won’t be…huh! Adam?”

Adam rolled over from where he’d been face down, nuzzling into Tommy’s pillow, occupying the exact same space Tommy had vacated not many minutes previously.

“What’re you doing?”

Adam sat up, a rare pink tinge appearing on his cheeks as he shrugged casually “I’m…er…I…” he shrugged again; it seemed Tommy wasn’t the only one incapable of stringing more than two consonants together!

“Were you rubbing your face on my pillow?”

The colour on Adam’s face deepened “Yes!” the heat in his eyes as he met Tommy’s gaze had the effect of sucking all the air out of the room. “ _Yes!_ It smells like _you_ and I just love that…”

The thought of Adam sniffing his bedding was strangely erotic and Tommy’s hard-on swelled impressively. “Oh!”

Adam smiled knowingly as he read the hungry expression on Tommy’s face “You like that?”

Tommy clamped his lips together tightly to prevent the **_hell fuck yeah_** that would’ve woken the entire floor had it been allowed to escape, offering instead, a strangled half-moan as his traitorous head nodded slowly and sparks lit the space between them.

The gleam in Adam’s eyes mirrored that of his own and Tommy fought the impulse to come out… _don’t even go there…_ from behind the door and hurl himself on Adam, damned be the consequences and just tell him **_I. Want. You…_** The thought hit him like a freight train… _just like Sauli had done last night…_

_Fuck. Shit. Fuck._

Tommy blinked and the moment was lost, the uninvited recall of the sounds Adam had been making last night as he jerked off to the panted whispers from his boyfriend thousands of miles away, as effective as a sudden shock immersion into ice cold water. Everything fell back into place and he forced a grin and a chuckle before closing the door and sliding sadly into the shower.

A swift and efficient application of cleansing products from top to toe and he was washed and dried in under ten minutes without the need for any right hand exercise; seemed his desire had left town with the morning stagecoach.

When he emerged in his towel, Adam was sat in the armchair playing on his phone; Twitter or Facebook he assumed, and although he glanced up and smiled, Tommy noticed the smile didn’t quite reach Adam’s eyes.

Scurrying quickly over to the wardrobe, Tommy tugged some jeans off a hanger and grabbed a t-shirt off the neat pile on the shelf… _Sauli’d be proud of the state of his closet!_ What _was_ it with irony and puns this morning? He bit his lip as a somewhat hysterical snort of laughter bubbled in his belly and concentrated on fishing out a pair of plain white boxer briefs and some socks – a fan gift favourite pair of blue ones with red guitars on – before vanishing back into the bathroom.

Dressed and towelling his hair vigorously, he rejoined Adam, perching on the arm of the chair to peer over Adam’s shoulder. He was rewarded with the sight of him and Adam from the GNT, with a countdown of the best _Adommy_ moments to the soundtrack _Straight to Number One…_ As he watched, the fan video moved to their Amsterdam _Purple Haze_ kiss… _number one…_

Adam reached for Tommy’s hand “we were so fucking hot!” his eyes remained fixed on the tiny screen of his phone.

“ _Were?_ We still are, Babyboy, we still are!”

Adam squeezed his fingers “does that mean we’re…y’know…okay?”

“Daft fucker! We’re always okay, more than okay!” Tommy lifted their linked fingers to indicate his infinity bracelet with his free hand “I said forever…I _meant_ forever!”

“Sometimes I get a bit carried away…do…say stuff…” Adam’s grip tightened on Tommy’s captive digits, his voice dropping to a faint whisper.

“Adam Mitchel Lambert!”

The sharp tone and use of his full name was enough to prise Adam’s eyes away from the YouTube video, turning his head to see Tommy trying not to smile as he attempted to model a stern, affronted expression.

“Adam!” the tone softened “Babyboy, if you can’t be totally yourself with me then ours is not the relationship I thought it was! You can _do_ whatever, _say_ whatever and I will still _always_ love you! _You got that mister!_ ”

The smile that lit Adam’s face would’ve eclipsed the sun had they been outside and Tommy gasped as he was tugged onto Adam’s lap to be wrapped into a tight hug “love you, Tommy Joe!”

“I know!” Tommy snuggled happily into Adam’s hold, his heart at peace.

Neither spoke for long comfortable minutes, secure in their closeness and the knowledge of unwavering support no matter what life threw at them…

The peal of Tommy’s hotel room phone split the silence and he slid reluctantly off Adam’s lap. “Yep!” He rolled his eyes “Yes, yes…we were on our way out of the door when the phone rang! Coffee, black!” Tommy dropped the handset back onto the base. “Bradford was stressing because we… _you_ …weren’t early! Is that man for real?”

Adam laughed and pushed out of the chair “He’s crazy! But that makes him one of us and he’s good at his job…I like him…in fact I’m thinking of keeping him when this little non-tour is over?”

Tommy narrowed his eyes as he took Adam’s outstretched hand and slotted their fingers together “do I have to be jealous?” A tiny part of him acknowledged there was a definite edge of seriousness attached to the humorous delivery of the question.

Adam’s raised eyebrow in return suggested he was well aware of the double-edged meaning and he shook his head. “Nope, no need to get the green eyes out!” he pressed the call button for the elevator before cupping Tommy’s cheek softly to tilt his chin up. “Besides, I love your cute brown eyes way too much to see them change colour!” He brushed their lips together lightly as the elevator doors pinged open. “Let’s go get this done and then we can get out of here…”

Bradford had ordered them both coffee and the briefing was swiftly underway. Adam’s interview with Tokyo FM was scheduled for three that afternoon, he needed to be there at two and then the Sony Fan event for their one song; they all needed to be ready to leave the hotel at five thirty…

Confirming his understanding of all arrangements and setting the appropriate alarms on his phone as a back up, Adam stood up.

Their first stop was the hotel shop for two baseball caps and a map of the local area. Hair suitably under wraps and sunglasses in place, they walked down to the gardens and slipped out of the back gates, mingling with the early morning bustle of workers heading into the city centre.

Having missed their planned breakfast they headed to Ivy Place on a recommendation from Hata, the concierge, filling up on homemade granola and fruit bowls, scrambled eggs with mascarpone and toasted brioche, tall glasses of fresh mixed fruit juice to complement the excellent cuisine.

Full and content, they made their way to 56 Tattoo in Shibuya, owned and run by one of the Japanese tattoo scene’s veterans, Horimasa – a tattoo pioneer to the craft who’d learnt under Horitoku, one of Japan’s top tattooing masters. According to Hata, Horimasa was well respected and excelled in all tattooing styles.

Pushing the door open, the studio was light and airy and had a delightfully welcoming feel to it. A pretty Japanese woman with a beautiful delicate butterfly design on her neck came to greet them, leading them across to a seating area before she took their names and an outline of their plans. Tommy began leafing through the artwork books on the table in search of inspiration…

In the doorway of the inking area, Adam was shaking hands with Horimasa, whose sister was apparently a huge fan of Adam’s. All to the good, as an appointment was swiftly procured for three days hence for both him and Tommy. Adam promised a signed copy of Trespassing and a photo for Mina and rejoined Tommy on the sofa as Horimasa returned to his current client.

“What about that one… _here_?” Tommy indicated the image he’d all but decided on, pointing at the bare skin on his forearm.

“I like!” Adam nodded approvingly and they completed the booking forms with their designs before heading back out into the sunshine.

With time to kill they went exploring the fashion stores in Kitakore, Adam’s grin growing ever wider at the array of unique and unconventional attire and accessories on offer. Tommy trotted happily by his side, and revelled in the chance to spend alone time with a relaxed and carefree Adam. Watching the man he loved having such a good time rifling through racks of clothing and footwear, Tommy’s contented smile was accompanied by a tingling warmth in his belly and a blissful sense of serenity. All was good right now…

They were recognised a few times, each time posing willingly for photographs and requesting that the pictures were not shared on social media until later that day. The Japanese fans were polite and respectful and Tommy had already fallen in love with this culture and its people by the time they’d grabbed a quick sushi lunch and were headed back to the hotel.

Bradford was waiting in the lobby and ushered Adam away almost immediately, leaving Tommy to liaise with the others to be ready to leave for their gig later that afternoon.

Plans set and watches synchronised, Tommy took himself off to his room where he stretched out on his bed and promptly fell asleep.  

Waking when his phone alarm went off, Tommy rubbed his eyes sleepily “Fuck!” he’d missed Adam’s interview. However, a swift tap on Twitter revealed a link to soundcloud where the ever faithful and wonderful Glamberts had uploaded it and Tommy was just listening to the final thank you when Adam joined him.

“Great interview, dude!” Tommy allowed himself to be folded into a warm hug.

“Yeah, it was fun! I love it when they find new questions to ask amongst the same old ones.” He tucked Tommy’s head under his chin, resting on the mop of blue hair. “Wanna share some tea with me before we have to go out again?”

Tommy nodded, tiny appreciative noises escaping as he snuggled in closer, his senses floating happily in everything _Adam…_

Adam chuckled “Good! Because I already ordered it!”

A comfortable silence fell as they stood wrapped around each other until a tap on the door announced the arrival of room service. After signing for it, Adam set the tray on the low table and they sat on Tommy’s bed, sipping tea and crunching on some rather delicious chocolate covered thin rice cakes that accompanied it.

Tea finished, Adam returned to his room to grab a quick shower and change for their appearance at the Sony Fan Event. Everyone was assembled on time and a smiling Bradford steered them out to the waiting executive minibus.

A quick soundcheck preceded a brief but emphatic performance of _Trespassing,_ the amended lyrics obviously going down well and they finished to thunderous applause and high decibel level screaming. It felt good as they skipped off the stage and gathered in Adam’s dressing room to make plans for a band dinner and film night.

Dinner and Avengers Assemble was a fun-filled affair with lots of laughter and good-natured teasing as they discussed the super powers they’d choose, deciding they’d make exceptional super heroes should America ever need their special brand of skills – although Rick’s fart-on-demand-with-integral-instant-stun-power was a bit of a shudder inducer!

Fond hugs and kisses just after one saw them all return to their own rooms. Tommy climbed between the sheets, a smile on his lips and warmth in his heart. Right now, he felt he could conquer the world…

The sun was barely peeking over the horizon when his bed dipped and Adam slid in next to him, moving in close and burying his nose in Tommy’s hair. “Uh? Adam? What’s…” Tommy mumbled drowsily, one hand reaching towards the light switch.

“Sshh, go back to sleep… I was lonely…”

Shuffling backwards even closer into Adam’s hold, the smile deepened on Tommy’s face as he drifted back into sleep.

Adam’s alarm woke them and he snaked an arm out to kill the sound before cuddling back under the covers. “What time is it?” Tommy turned in Adam’s embrace, eyes blinking sleepily, lips softly parted and looking so delectably kissable that Adam just had to taste them.

Tommy’s surprise was swallowed as Adam kissed him sweetly, a soft swipe of his tongue parting Tommy’s lips to allow entrance to his mouth. Tommy’s butterflies soared into excited flight and his body tingled in anticipation of further attention as their tongues swirled deliciously and Adam’s fingers threaded through Tommy’s hair.

“Seven!” Adam whispered against Tommy’s lips as they came up for air.

“Huh?” Tommy’s synapses had melted from that unexpected kiss.

“Seven o’clock!”

“Oh! Yeah!”

Adam chuckled and turned onto his back, tugging Tommy with him until they were comfortable with Tommy’s head resting in the crook of Adam’s shoulder, their legs tangled together and Tommy’s arm draped over Adam’s chest. The fit was familiar and sparked a flood of happy memories of days long since past.

This nostalgia, which could so easily have turned to melancholy, stoked a fire in Tommy’s belly, reminding him that he needed to live for today, to cherish every second he had with Adam and to appreciate anew that the perfect love Adam and Sauli shared had helped to shape the man he loved with his very soul…

_And that was all way too fucking philosophical from one kiss at seven o-fucking-clock!_

By the time Adam’s second alarm sounded fifteen minutes later, Tommy was wired and leapt out of bed as Adam reached to turn it off.     

“C’mon! No time to slouch in bed!” Tommy hopped around the room dragging out clothes, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm for the new day.

Adam groaned when the covers were stripped from him and a determined Tommy hauled him to his feet. “I’ll have coffee here by the time you’ve showered!” he shoved Adam purposefully towards their connecting door “Go!”

“Slave-driver!” Adam grumbled half heartedly, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as Tommy planted his hands on his hips and frowned. If Tommy was aiming for stern and commanding, Adam decided he actually looked cute as fuck! “Okay, okay! I’m gone!” Humming contentedly, Adam vanished into his room, leaving the adjoining door open.

The coffee arrived as Adam reappeared, dressed now, but with a towel draped around his neck to catch the drips from his still wet hair. He grinned wickedly as he crept up behind Tommy and shook his head, sending water droplets everywhere. He chortled loudly as Tommy jumped and almost dropped the coffee pot, slopping coffee all over the tray.

“ _What the fuck!_ Adam, you fucker!”

Adam laughed happily and shook his head again as Tommy spun around to face him, drops splashing over his face and top.  

Tommy couldn’t help joining in the laughter, the sheer playful delight on Adam’s face sending a delicious warmth buzzing through his veins; warmth that suddenly hit ten thousand degrees when Adam leant forward to lick the splashes off Tommy’s skin, the drag of his tongue on Tommy’s face exciting his butterflies into frantic aerial acrobatics as his heart beat triple time and his knees buckled.

Tommy was a molten puddle of want when Adam stepped back and began towelling his hair energetically, still chuckling at the dazed expression on Tommy’s face.

“So, are you keeping me company today with all these interviews?” Adam dropped the towel into Tommy’s bath and sauntered back out to claim his coffee mug.

“Mmmmnnnn!” What it lacked in coherence, it made up for with emphatic nodding.

Tommy was still swooning when they headed for the elevator and their assigned briefing with Bradford. Adam grinned and linked their hands together, ignoring the disapproving stares of the haughty-looking couple already in the lift. Pressing the button for the lobby, Adam smiled sweetly at them and proceeded to whisper suggestive comments in his pure sex voice into Tommy’s ear, the brush of his lips against the tender skin behind Tommy’s earlobe sending wild shudders eddying through his body.  

Tommy bit his lip, a needy whimper desperate to escape.

Adam, damn him, just smiled and hugged him closer.  

The couple bolted from the confined space the second the doors opened at their destination. Adam chuckled at their retreating backs before they followed them out and headed to the same meeting room as the previous day.

Tommy’s exuberance in getting them up and ready this morning, meant they were early, earning them an approving smile from the mighty Bradford. More coffee was swiftly procured and a highly efficient briefing followed. Adam nodded and uh-hu’d in all the right places, flicking through the mass of notes and pictures Bradford had prepared for his many _many_ interviews. Tommy’s head swam at the sheer amount of information and could only marvel at the self discipline and concentration required to take it all in.

Finally they were allowed to escape for breakfast before heading back up to the third floor where the various reporters and interviewers were setting up their equipment. Bradford was checking credentials and his order list and Tommy paused a moment to appreciate the undoubted hard graft it took to pull together an interview session on this scale; hell his minor involvement in booking the hotel and arranging the transportation of their instruments had sent him into a frenzy!

Tugging Adam down to his level, Tommy murmured into his ear “He’s good! You should definitely keep him!” as he nodded towards a smiling Bradford who was waiting patiently for the photographer to finish setting up his light meter before beckoning Adam over to begin the first of a long line of interviews.

Kissing Tommy’s cheek, Adam grinned and walked over to join his tour manager. Tommy set himself up in the opposite corner where he could observe the proceedings without getting in the way.

The day drew on and Tommy was tired just watching! Adam answered the same questions at least twenty times, each time with a smile and trying to give each interviewer something a little different whilst retaining the same honest, open responses, always true to himself, always respectful…always the ultimate professional, even when some of the questions were out and out stupid! Tommy’s love deepened even further…

They broke for a quick breather to allow Adam a chance to drink some tea for his throat and stretch his legs. Then it was back to business once more. Tommy caught up on emails to Brad, Sutan, Mike and even a brief one to Liz. He checked out his social media and did a couple of on-line quizzes, discovering that if he was a film genre he’d be a horror film – quite apt he noted with a glance at his tat sleeve.

Having zoned out of the room for a while as he immersed himself in the virtual world inside his phone, he was suddenly aware of Adam’s eyes fixed on him and he glanced up to see that drop-dead gorgeous smile just for him – the last reporters were packing up and Bradford was on the phone to the radio station who would be next. For a few moments it was just him and Adam and the room seemed bathed in light and love.

Any thoughts of boredom or restlessness vanished. Tommy smiled back and contentment resonated through his being.

The next two days were carbon copies of the first; magazines, radio stations, newspapers, music blogs and journals…everyone repeating the same questions with some exceptions  - some used fan questions as a base and these were the ones Tommy enjoyed watching the most – where Adam sparkled and radiated confidence and life as he gave his answers with a twinkle in his eye and a lilt in his voice.

On Press-day three they packed up at lunchtime, grabbed a quick sandwich and headed off to 56 Tattoo for their designated appointment. Settled in their treatment chairs, they linked their free hands and listened to Horimasa as he talked about the city he loved…

Tommy’s Libra symbol was finished long before Adam’s more intricate design and he thanked Anessa warmly for her beautiful work before moving to sit next to Adam’s chair for the last hour of his work.

Finally, they were done and he had to admit the words looked awesome against the backdrop of Adam’s freckled skin. Adam handed over the signed CD and photos for Horimasa’s sister, along with two tickets to the Tokyo summer Sonic and a promise of a photo in person. They could hear her squeals of excitement down the phone from the door as they took their leave of these wonderful people.

Back in Adam’s room, they had a relaxed dinner from room service and talked music for a while before Adam’s laptop screen flashed and Sauli appeared. After swapping greetings and catching up on news, there was a showing of new tattoos all round before Tommy bid them goodnight and took himself back to his room, knowing full well what would follow his departure. Tonight however, it just made him smile. Adam loved him, he loved Adam and theirs was a friendship that would never fade…

Tommy decided he could live with that…  


	14. Chapter 14

They woke to a mass outbreak of Twitter fever over Adam’s new ink and the band spent a happy breakfast teasing Adam for all the _savage beast_ innuendo, some with imaginative fan art attached, which was actually rather good!

With just two interviews scheduled for today; one a short telephone chat on the early morning breakfast show to publicise the evening’s event and the second just prior to their performance at the Mezamashi Live, today was essentially a free day until four when they’d need to start getting ready as their soundcheck slot was at five o’clock and it wasn’t worth coming back to the hotel after as the first bands were on at six…

A free day for Adam in a foreign city, meant a shopping day! Initially the band set off together, exploring the newly opened Tokyo Solamachi shopping and entertainment complex at the base of the Tokyo Skytree. Thoroughly immersed in the touristy thing, they picked up souvenirs for friends and family back home from some of the more unique tourist outlets.

From there they moved on to Shibuya Station and the mass of trend-setting fashion stores along its streets. Adam was in his element and he and Ashleigh engaged in excited debate on the new looks that would apparently be setting the fashion world alight in the coming season.

Rick and Brian bailed on them and headed for a music store, with the intention of following that up with a sushi bar! Tommy eyed the shoes and sunglasses, protesting in vain when Adam snatched a pair of grey leather boots from his hands after Tommy had decided they were probably worth the vastly inflated price tag and was headed for the checkout.

Ashley hugged Adam tightly as he handed her the bag with her sheer silk wrap in, having also hijacked her at the pay desk. If there was one thing Adam really enjoyed when shopping, it was treating his friends. Adding a third pair of sunglasses to his basket “…a pair for Sauli, a pair for you and a pair for me!” in response to Tommy’s questioning arch of an eyebrow “we can be the three amigos!”

Tommy laughed and wrapped his arm around Adam’s waist as they waited in line, leaning into the warmth of his body and resting his head on Adam’s shoulder. Ashley grinned and snapped a surreptitious picture on her phone. Their body language was unmistakeable and she wondered for the thousandth time if there would ever be anything more between them than the amazing friendship they had…

With time still to spare, Adam rang Brian, got directions and the three of them headed off to join the others for a bite to eat before making their way back to the hotel.

Tommy took a nap, setting his alarm first before stretching out on his bed, his head resting where Adam’s had been two nights previously. It was reminiscent of a teenaged girl with her first crush, but he fell asleep with a contented smile on his face and Adam’s name on his lips.

He woke to find Adam sat on the edge of his bed and he smiled sleepily. Adam reached out to stroke his fingers gently down Tommy’s cheek, the soft smile at odds with the multitude of other emotions swirling in his eyes. “You’re so beautiful, my Tommy Joe… _my_ pretty kitty…” the low whisper and the gleam of tears in those deep blue pools sparking a warmth in Tommy’s belly; a warmth that resonated deep within his soul…

Adam’s hand stilled, his thumb brushing Tommy’s lips and when he leant in to kiss him softly, Tommy’s lips tingled and his butterflies soared into the stratosphere.

Time stopped as Adam climbed onto the bed beside him and tugged Tommy in closer, before claiming his mouth once more in a searing kiss, his hands raking hungrily over Tommy’s body as he arched into the touch…

Adam’s fingers reached the button on his jeans and popped it open, sliding under denim and over clinging jersey to press down on rapidly swelling, heated flesh…

Tommy’s wanton moan was swallowed as Adam’s tongue plundered his mouth and he surrendered his being to everything _Adam…_  

The blaring of his alarm dragged Tommy rudely from his delicious dream, the images slipping away like wisps of smoke on the breeze, to leave him dejected and nursing a raging hard on that demanded to be satisfied. Sliding off the bed he padded to the bathroom and took a steamy shower, grunting his release under the cascading water as he imagined Adam’s mouth on his, hot and dirty, as their hands moved rhythmically together…

Sated and somewhat weak at the knees, he was lacing his creepers when Adam tapped on their connecting door and peered around it.

You coming, Glitterbaby?”

_If you’d asked me that just a few minutes ago…_

“Just need to lace my other shoe!” Tommy was careful to keep his head down to hide the fierce blush that rocketed over his face as the retort flashed through his brain accompanied by fresh stirrings below his belt.

Adam nodded “I’ll go round up the others and meet you at the elevator…”

“I’ll be right up behind you…”

“Promises, promises!” Adam laughed as he vanished back into his room leaving Tommy with an uncomfortable bulge in his skin tight jeans and a fierce buzzing under his skin. It was going to be a wild night!

They were given a static caravan in the parking lot as a dressing room. It was basic but functional and, more importantly, it had air con and a large glass fronted fridge stacked with bottles of water. They dropped their bags of après-show change of clothes onto the benches and settled in the lounge area to wait for their soundcheck call.

After a run through of _Mad World_ and _Trespassing_ they were free to watch the first couple of acts, before taking to the stage, which Bradford had glammed up with a couple of rugs. It was mind-sappingly hot out there but the energy and enthusiasm flowing in waves from the crowd had them bouncing on their toes as they hit off with _Trespassing._

The yellow and black banners and decorated clothing of the Glamberts stood out clearly amongst the sea of colour and Adam fed off their love as he bounded around the stage, laughing, encouraging them to sing along as they moved on to _Naked Love, Never Close our Eyes_ and finished their short set with _Cuckoo._ Tommy followed Adam’s lead and let himself go, joining in the singing – well away from any mic! - and moved all over the stage, pausing several times to play up against Ashley.

With their brief time about to close, Adam was glowing with vitality and his smile outshone the sun as he urged the audience to applaud his band.

Tommy’s heart leapt as their eyes met and Adam winked at him before turning back for a final bow as he thanked the crowd in Japanese, to loud screams of delight. Finally they scampered off the stage and back across the parking lot to their caravan dressing room. Adam stopped to give a brief interview, emphasising the uplifting spirit of the crowd and how much they’d all enjoyed performing.

Once everyone had taken their turn in one of the two showers at the back and was feeling refreshed and cool, they were discussing possible dinner options when Tommy hopped back up the steps from outside “the bus is here, look lively!”

“What’s happening?”

“Where we going?”

“Teebie?”

Multiple voices spoke at once. Tommy just grinned and leant into the warmth of Adam’s body as Adam draped an arm around his shoulders. “I’m told the Pretty Kitty has a surprise for us…”

“And we’re gonna be late if we don’t hit the road, like _now!_ The kitchen closes at half nine so…” Tommy laughed as there was a minor rugby scrum in the doorway and everyone bundled down the steps and out into the waiting minibus.

“You gonna tell me where we’re going yet?” Adam tipped Tommy’s face up to his with a fingertip under his chin, the touch soft and sensual, yet commanding… _owning…_ sending Tommy’s senses into raptures.

“When we’re on our way!” Slipping out of Adam’s hold, Tommy entwined their fingers and led them outside to join their friends.

Bradford was waiting by the bus “have a good time and you can…”

“You’re coming with us!” Tommy grinned “you’re one of us now! Get on the bus!”

“Quite the dominatrix isn’t he!” Bradford laughed and climbed the steps, missing the heated look Adam gave Tommy at his words.

“I…” Tommy blushed as Adam’s eyes locked with his own, desire darkening his pupils.

Adam dragged his gaze away and gave Tommy a gentle shove “After you, bossy boots!” He laughed, breaking the momentary awkwardness and the doors closed immediately as they got underway.

“Spill it, Ratliff!” Rick chuckled as the others joined in.

Holding his hands up for quiet, Tommy glanced around “We’re going to the Kozue restaurant in the Park Hyatt hotel…the views across the city are breathtaking and the food is legendary… Apparently on a clear day you can see Mount Fuji!”

“ _Tommy Joe_ …” Adam’s hushed tone had everyone suddenly talking to each other in too loud a voice to give the two men a moment. “You did this for me?”

Tommy nodded, gasping as Adam folded him into a hug and squeezed the life out of him. “ _Thank you, baby…_ ”

“I know you missed out last time you were here…”

Adam held him close all the way there, stroking their joined hands softly.

As they exited the elevator to see the city spread out below them through the huge glass floor-to-ceiling windows, Tommy’s grip tightened on Adam’s hand as his fear of heights kicked in and he hung back, closing his eyes whilst they all crowded up to the windows to examine the view, chattering excitedly.

Adam’s lips pressing softly on his own brought his panic back under control and he smiled gratefully. “Knowing you’re terrified of heights and yet you still organised this for me?” Adam’s eyes sparkled “Love you, Tommy Joe…you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met…” Tommy’s butterflies fluttered contentedly.

They were shown to their seats, Tommy sitting safely between Adam on one side and the wonderfully solid and reassuring Bradford on the other. With the sheer view broken by the chairs and the table, Tommy relaxed and began to enjoy himself.

The food was beyond description and the whole experience ranked up there in the top ten. It was a happy Tommy who fell into bed much later that night, with just one more surprise left for the man he loved…

They all slept in the following morning, even Adam, who was the only one with any demands on his time. Fortunately, they were awake and sharing coffee in good time for his phone interview, under the watchful eyes and ears of the ever efficient Bradford. Tommy grinned as the interviewer from Australia asked Adam to do an Australian accent. It was a passable attempt to his untrained ear, but the interviewer had different ideas and was shuddering!

Seeing Tommy’s mirth, Adam stuck his tongue out and jabbed Tommy’s leg with his foot. Giggling, Tommy returned in kind and squirmed out of reach, shaking his non-existent ass from the other side of the coffee table.

“Wait till I catch you, brat!” Adam mouthed the words, still listening to the long winded question from the other side of the world. After answering a few more questions and agreeing that they were all very much looking forward to the Take 40 gig, Adam thanked him and hung up.

“Nicely done, Adam!” Bradford nodded approvingly, gathered his clipboard and mass of paper and headed for the door. “Rehearsal at three?”

“Three…yep!”

The door closed behind him, leaving Adam and Tommy alone once more. Adam tilted his head to one side “You were making fun of my accent, kitty…” a huge smile lit his face “I’m gonna tickle you until you take that back!”

Laughing helplessly, Tommy dodged Adam’s outstretched hands several times until he had nowhere to go and no breath left to call on, backed up into the wardrobe door. Adam pressed up hard against him, stirring all manner of excited reactions in corpuscle central control room, Tommy’s eyes widening as he felt the distinct same reaction from Adam digging into his thigh.

For a split second they froze, before hands ran over each other’s bodies, tugging at t-shirts to reach soft, warm flesh below. Their mouths met in a hungry kiss, tongues dancing a tango as they pressed ever closer. It was a wild moment of rapidly mounting passion, until a knock at the door had them jumping apart and hurriedly straightening their clothes.

“Adam? Tommy? You there?” Bradford’s voice carried through the door.

“Bathroom, baby!” Adam pressed his lips to Tommy’s forehead and patted his arse affectionately “you look a bit hot and bothered! I’ll see what he wants…”

Nodding, Tommy bolted for the bathroom as Adam sauntered to the door, adjusting his jeans as he went.

“Did I leave my phone here?” Bradford surged past him as Adam opened the door, making for the chair he’d been sat in whilst Adam had been interviewed. He gave a huge sigh of relief as his groping hand found his phone wedged down the side of the cushion “Thank fuck for that!” he grinned, the usually controlled and proper Bradford they’d come to know so well, nowhere in sight! “This has my entire fucking life on it!” He glanced around “no Tommy?”

“Bathroom!”

“Oh, right! Sorry to disturb you…”

“We’re talking setlists and riffs…nothing to disturb, although it gets a little heated sometimes if we both want to get our point across!” Adam tugged at his dishevelled hair “my crowning glory takes a battering when I keep raking my fingers through it!”

Bradford laughed “If I haven’t said it before, I’m really enjoying this job!” He headed back towards the door. “I’ll leave you to it, then!”

The bathroom door opened and a restored Tommy emerged as he heard the suite room door close behind Adam’s tour manager.

“You okay, baby?”

“’m fine!”

“I’m sorry I got carried away... _again!_ ” Adam added sheepishly, reaching a hand out to draw Tommy into a hug.

“S’all cool…you know that…” He snuggled closer into Adam’s embrace as he mumbled into his chest “anyway, I rather enjoyed it! You _are_ pretty hot and Brad’s right – you’re a fucking awesome kisser!”

Adam’s delighted laughter echoed around the room as he rested his chin on the mop of blue hair and tightened his hold.

It was long minutes before they moved apart and ordered some fresh coffee and tiny pastries, belatedly starting the discussion they’d told Bradford they were having!

By the time they were due to leave for rehearsal, they had a workable reshuffle of their current setlist ready to share with the others, plus a couple of suggestions for things Adam wanted to add…

Bradford was back to his calm and unruffled self when they met him in the lobby, although the twinkle in his eye suggested he’d relaxed a little now Adam had seen him in full panic mode and could verify he was actually human!

At the Tokyo venue for Summer Sonic they ran through the different modifications to the setlist, listening to everyone’s input as Brian and Bradford made notes. By common agreement, Adam’s new song order was implemented with a couple of switches which were more due to technical issues than anything else. This was why Adam insisted on everyone taking part in the decision process whenever he could…

With the setlist and additions in place, they moved on to tweak some of the arrangements within individual songs; keeping them fresh and alive was a vital part of what Adam’s shows were all about…

The four hours they’d been allocated flew by and they were shocked when Green Day arrived for their time slot next. Adam chatted amiably to Billie Joe Armstrong as Tommy went into fanboy mode and could barely utter a word, blushing fiercely when Adam whispered loudly that he wasn’t usually star struck but…

[Tré ](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tr%C3%A9_Cool)took pity on him and nudged him playfully, pointing out that both he and Billie shared similar names and maybe Tommy’d like to jam some with them before they left…

After squawking his excitement like a distressed parrot, which made Mike laugh so much he lost his footing and fell off the stage, Tommy regained some dignity and was able to pick up his guitar and the two bands rocked the fuck out of _Boulevard of Broken Dreams_ before the Glamily gathered up their gear and hot tailed it out of there.

After dinner from room service, Adam and Tommy curled up on Adam’s bed to watch the rest of _Rock of Ages_ , Tommy determined to banish the memories of the last time this film had been on from his memory. This time they made it through to the end and shared a chaste kiss goodnight as Tommy returned to his own room.

Sliding under the quilt, he decided he fucking loved his life…

The following day’s rehearsal concentrated on the transitions and stage movements and these took multiple attempts until Adam and Brian were both happy, the two conferring with Bradford who served as audience from different parts of the arena. Finally agreeing they had it licked, they packed up and headed back to the hotel for an evening of freedom!

Tommy cried off the band dinner, citing a need for some solitude. Adam wrapped him into a hug, pressed a kiss to his hair and released him, wordlessly giving all the support Tommy needed.

As he took the elevator up to his room, Tommy blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. He loved his friends so much, the way they understood him when it all got too overwhelming and he needed time to re-centre…

After ordering room service he flopped onto his bed and dug out his laptop. By the time his noodles and grilled beef arrived he’d had a quick scroll through Twitter, replied to emails from Mike and Alla and was adding details to one for Sutan; the kind of details only Sutan would understand…

With his belly full of delicious Japanese cuisine, he checked the time and tugged out his phone. After sending a text message he grinned when the reply came almost immediately, followed by the flashing image on the tiny screen as the call came through.

“Hey!” Tommy settled back against the pillows, listening  “He’s good…we’re all good…” he grinned as they swapped news “yep, all sorted. We travel overnight by train and then perform at Osaka on the Sonic stage…it’s gonna be epic! This whole thing is just…well, like nothing I’ve done before…”

Tommy chuckled self consciously “I’m kinda…being an anti-social bastard tonight…y’know when it all gets too… _intense…_ too good…” He smiled at the reassurance from the other end of the line “thanks! I know…I love that they know me so well! You too! See you soon!”

Smiling contentedly, Tommy set his phone on the bedside cabinet and spent his evening of solitude in the company of YouTube before crawling under the covers around half past eleven. He was sound asleep when Adam poked his head around their connecting door, missing the fond smile as the door was closed again quietly.

The set up for Summer Sonic was amazing; so many talented bands and performers, multiple stages and simultaneous performances; the atmosphere was electric and they were riding a wave of euphoria long before they took to the stage…

Adam was on fire, his vocals perfection and he oozed boundless sex appeal and energy as he belted out their up-tempo openers _Kickin’ In, Shady_ and _Trespassing,_ stoking Tommy’s inner desire with _Fever,_ before reining it all back in to wow the crowds with a pensive and heart rending _Whataya Want From Me…_ It was another experience _first_ as they played their hearts out, totally in tune with Adam and each other and Tommy felt he could’ve gone on playing forever…

The final notes of _Cuckoo_ died away and the audience shattered noise records with their applause and appreciation, the yellow and black striped glow sticks and sunflowers of the Glamberts waving madly as they screamed Adam’s name…

The madness continued as they left the stage. As one of the later bands to perform, they had just under an hour to get showered, changed and down to the station for the train that would take them, and numerous other acts, across the country so they could do it all again in Osaka, a twin train running from that venue across to Tokyo.

Not for the first time, they truly appreciated Bradford’s organisational skills as their bags were all ready and waiting, along with a stacked picnic box for the journey; he knew how they liked to unwind after a show, especially one of such epic proportions! Bradford presented each of them with coffee and shooed them onto the train. Each band had their own first class carriage but there was also a communal lounge area and a dining car in the centre of the train; all carriages had a side corridor to allow access to the entire length of the train…Japan certainly knew how to put on an event.

The journey passed swiftly; coming down from the high of performing with their usual post-show discussion and Bradford’s delicious picnic was followed by a more relaxed film and slumber party as everyone snatched a few hours sleep in the tiny bunks, the usual terrible puns as they debated who would go on top of whom!

When they awoke, there was just enough time to freshen up and grab some breakfast from the dining car, chatting animatedly to the different performers who were sharing this most unusual of journeys.  

Finally arriving at Osaka they were met by executive buses who took them to the performance centre; a giant, purpose-built cross between a hotel and music college! Rooms were allocated in blocks, each similar to student accommodation in design, if not in levels of comfort! Each block had a central lounge and mini kitchen area with the bedrooms arranged around them. It was inspired, comfortable and practical all at the same time.

Their lounge was completed with a folder of vital information; their soundcheck time, location of instrument locker and order of performance that night. Bradford’s eyes gleamed as he checked out the superb efficiency and simplicity of the organisation, retreating to the tiny fold out dining table to drag his ever-present notebook out of his laptop bag and start scribbling notes. The band grinned as happy grunts of satisfaction echoed from his corner of the room.

“Someone’s feeling chipper!” Rick nudged Ashley, nodding in Bradford’s direction.

“Whatever floats your boat! Paper folders just don’t do it for me!” Ash winked.

“Don’t stop there! Details, girl, details!”

“Wouldn’t you like to know!” Ashley strolled away, chuckling.

“Emerald green underwear…matching set…stiletto boots…” Tommy grinned at Rick’s raised eyebrow “…emerald green satin and cream lace actually, if we’re being totally accurate!”

“Tommy Joe Ratliff, you sly old dog!”

“If you got it…y’know!” Tommy laughed and hastened after Ashley to fill her in on the latest Rick wind-up! Laughing loudly, she played along, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheek as Rick watched admiringly from the other room.

Adam leant on the doorframe to his bedroom and watched his Glamily having fun. He loved seeing them all so close and happy.

Spinning around as he felt eyes on his back, Tommy met Adam’s gaze and grinned, winding an arm around Ashley’s waist as they shoved each other playfully. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he tugged it out to check the message. He thumbed a quick reply and smiled to himself.

Everything was as it should be…


	15. Chapter 15

They were mid soundcheck the next time Tommy’s phone buzzed and he resisted the urge to abandon _Pop that Lock_ to check his message. Instead, he waited until they were discussing the key change in the chorus that Adam had suddenly thrown in to see what it sounded like, and quickly removed his guitar.

“Be right back!” he grinned “it’s all that sodding water you’re making me drink!” as he wagged a friendly finger at Adam.

“Gotta keep you hydrated in this heat, baby!” Adam chuckled “Go do your _thaang_! We’ll wait!”

Tommy walked sedately until he was out of their line of sight then ran like stink down to the gate and outside to where the car was waiting. Sauli waved and hugged him to a pulp as soon as he was close enough to touch. “It is so good to be here, to see you…and to be with Adam of course. I have missed him too much!”

Pulling back from the hug, Tommy grinned “he’s gonna be so surprised to see you! Okay, I have to go back in now or he’ll suspect something. Here’s my key card. We’re the blue building with the treble clef on the side. First floor…make yourself at home and I’ll text when we’re on our way back so you can be ready to leap out!”

“I will leap on him and kiss his face all over!” Sauli beamed in anticipation as Tommy’s insides twisted unhappily. However, his pain was all self-inflicted as _he’d_ made the suggestion, _he’d_ done all the planning [thank you Casey and your training!] and basically shot himself in the proverbial foot! But it would be worth it to see the joy on Adam’s face when he clapped eyes on his beloved boyfriend whom he thought was thousands of miles away.

Tonight their comfort session wouldn’t be over virtual space… _fuck! That’s quite enough of the self torture…get your arse back inside!_

Spinning on his heel, he hurried back inside, hastily splashed some water on his face at the sink in the gents and returned to the others. Adam looked concerned when he reappeared “you okay, baby? You were gone a while…”

Tommy grimaced “some things just can’t be hurried…”

“Ewww! Enough Teebie!” Ashley screwed her nose up and everyone laughed, much to Tommy’s relief as the potential ruined surprise disaster was averted.

“What did you decide about the chorus?”

“We’re going to leave the chorus but add it to the bridge…” Adam hummed the original notes and repeated it, this time with the alteration. Tommy nodded and picked up his guitar as Adam moved back to the mic “…let’s try it from the top…”

The rest of the session passed quickly and Adam was satisfied that everything was as perfect as it could be. With their kit returned to its allocated place, Adam suggested they explore before heading back to their base. He was surprised when no-one seemed very enthusiastic, and shrugged his shoulders as they made non-committal noises about changing clothes and freshening up. “I’ll see you guys later then…Tommy, you’re coming with me?”

Tommy bit his lip and studied his shoes to avoid the pleading look he could feel radiating from the man he so wanted to be alone with, but had to disappoint so he could spring his surprise “I…um…”

Brian came to his rescue, interrupting his hesitant stuttering “I really want to see this place, _we all do_ , but I need to get outta this shirt…” he tugged at his vest “it’s clinging to me like…well, just…urgh! Gimme five minutes and…”

Adam’s smile lit the surrounding space and he nodded “cool! Then when we’re done exploring we can get some iced tea…”

Throwing an arm around Tommy’s shoulder and pulling him in close, Adam led them back towards the large blue building at the far end. Tommy managed to tug his phone out and press _send_ on the pre-loaded message, warning Sauli they were on their way. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Adam’s face…

They chattered loudly as they climbed the stairs, Tommy hoping that firstly, Sauli was now safely hidden and secondly, Adam wasn’t going to wait for Tommy to open the door as Tommy’s key card was now inside!

Slipping out from under Adam’s arm, Tommy stepped back a pace to curl an arm around Ashley’s waist, catching her eye before giving a sidelong glance at Rick. She winked, understanding at once. “So, Ash, you going to wear those suspenders for me tonight? You know I love them on you…so fucking sexy…”

Laughing, Ashley tilted her head thoughtfully as they reached the door and Adam groped for his key card.

“For you, Teebie…yeah, I’ll wear them…” she fluttered her eyelashes “you can help me put them on if you like!”

“Hell, yeah!” Tommy bit back a howl of laughter as Rick’s chin hit the floor and he avoided Ashley’s eyes as she snickered beside him.

“I’ll see you later then!” Ashley kissed his cheek and strode inside, swinging her hips seductively as she went.

Watching her sashay towards her room Tommy was reminded of Jessica Rabbit’s claim _I’m not bad…I’m just drawn that way!_ No doubting Ashley was one sexy, sassy, talented woman and he was privileged to have her as a friend and ally…

Brian clapped him on the back as he stood in the doorway “Y’know he believes every word! You’re a wicked devil child!”

They stepped over the threshold together, chuckling.

“Ten minutes guys?” Adam took a step towards his bedroom when the door opened and Sauli stood there, grinning “what the…when did… _how_..?” Adam gaped in surprise.

“You must thank Tommy! He did this all for you and me…”

Adam’s arms closing around him in a hot and sweaty hug as he repeated “ _Thank you, thank you, thank you…_ ” over and over was enough to kick Tommy’s self-inflicted green goblins into touch and he smiled as Adam released him, reaching up to cup Adam’s face softly. “Go, have fun, babyboy…”

The look of pure joy he got in return melted his heart and he was still smiling when Adam swept Sauli off his feet and carried him back into his bedroom, claiming his mouth in a searing kiss as he kicked the door shut behind them.

Ashley tugged Tommy into a hug “That was a beautiful thing you did there, Teebie…” she brushed his hair from his eyes to see the gleam of unshed tears and pulled him in tighter to whisper against his ear “you’re a wonderful friend and we’re lucky to have you… _Adam’s_ lucky to have you” She released him, grinning playfully “you wanna come and help me with those stockings now?”

Tommy let out a bellow of laughter and shook his head “later my little sex pot! Let’s get changed and check this place out!”  

It was a happy band who left their blue base ten minutes later, arms entwined and ready to explore.

They crossed paths with many fellow musicians and artists on their travels, swapping stories and information and the day flew by rapidly. Tommy’s phone rang as they were heading back to their sleeping quarters. “Adam!” Tommy’s smile grew as he listened. “We’ll wait by the red building! See you shortly!” He glanced around at his friends “Adam’s buying dinner at that steak house just outside the complex. They’re on their way…”

A few minutes later they were joined by Adam and Sauli. Both glowed with happiness and sported fresh purple bruises on their necks and pink, kiss swollen lips, leaving no doubts as to some of the afternoon’s activities.

Ashley grabbed Tommy’s hand and squeezed reassuringly, lacing their fingers together as they all headed towards the gated entrance to the musical community. It was a fun and lively dinner and they could’ve spent all night chatting and laughing. However, Adam paid the bill as soon as they’d all finished and they made their way back to get changed for their performance.

The massive site had filled with people whilst they’d been away and they threaded through the crowds in single file, each holding on tightly to someone else’s hand until they landed safely back at their base.

Everyone dispersed to their bedrooms to get dressed, Tommy winking at Ash as she reminded him to hurry if he wanted to help with her stockings!

Everyone was ready when Bradford returned from his own dinner with a long time friend whom they’d bumped into earlier that day. Ashley had indeed put on stockings and suspenders and, on those incredibly long sexy legs of hers, they looked fucking amazing. Rick was rendered speechless as she put a stilettoed heel onto Tommy’s thigh to adjust the fastening, adding a purred “Thanks, Teebie!” before brushing her lips across his. Everyone laughed at the awe on Rick’s face as he bumped knuckles with Tommy.

Arriving at the Sonic Stage and following directions to their waiting area, Adam wrapped his arms back around his beaming boyfriend. “I want you at the front so I can see you, baby. I’ll be singing for you tonight…”

Tommy’s heart swelled at the undoubted love in Adam’s voice, as his butterflies slumped helplessly in the pit of his stomach. _Talk about the polar fucking opposites of emotion…_

Adam looked hot enough to melt the ice caps – and he wasn’t talking about the weather which was like a hundred degrees! Tommy’s favourite silver and black glittery zebra pants clung to Adam’s legs and arse like a second skin, black leather boots came up to his knees and the low-necked black, silky vest top rippled fluidly with every movement of his body. He’d topped this off with his thin sleeveless leather jacket, black half-gloves and the key pendant his fans had given him for his birthday.

He was sex on fucking legs…and Tommy loved every single atom of his being…

They made their way onto the stage to set up, leaving Adam to find a place for Sauli to watch from. Moments later, he joined them and they swung into _Kickin’ In._ Adam bounded around the stage, his beautiful smile never leaving his face as he just radiated happiness and fire and love, his energy infusing them all despite the sapping heat.

They moved onto _Shady_ and then _Trespassing,_ Adam greeting the buoyant crowd enthusiastically and thanking them warmly for dressing up in his black and yellow Trespassing colours. As he moved along the stage, he paused in front of the media and VIP area, the delighted grin on his face widening as he saw Sauli now had a yellow and black glow stick and knitted forearm gauntlet that someone had given him. His boyfriend winked and mouthed “I love you” when Adam’s eyes met his, as the first bars of _Fever_ began to play.

As always, the initial notes set Tommy’s heart beating double time, the rhythm and distinctive beat sending images from their days of the GNT on slow repeat through his brain, as his fingers played on automatic. This song had always been special for Tommy since that first ever play, sat on his bed with his bass in his lap, on his birthday three years ago…and that was before he’d chosen it as _their_ song; the song they kissed to, on stage, every night for almost a year…

_“…we both know it isn’t time, no…but could you be mine…”_

Tommy returned from his mental meandering just in time to see Adam pointing at Sauli as he sang those lyrics… _Tommy’s lyrics_ …

Tommy’s fingers clenched around his Fender and he concentrated on playing the notes… _Adam’s happy, you love him; be happy for him…_ but it was difficult to get past the memories that were fast being rewritten with every beat of his shattered heart.

_Get a grip Ratliff…it’s only a fucking song…_

_…but it’s **my** fucking song…  _  

Somewhere within the battle going on in his head, Tommy had moved to stand beside Adam as he sang, leaning into him in a subconscious display of territorialism…reclaiming his song…

His hurt and indignation melted away as Adam flashed him a dazzling smile and leant into the move…just like the old days… _and the world righted itself once more…_

With Tommy’s green goblins appeased and his fragile heart under repair, they wound it up a notch, bouncing all over the stage as they put _Fever_ to bed and then pulled it all back down for an acoustic, heart-rending _Whataya Want From Me_ , Adam’s voice laden with emotion as he sang his heart out to the captivated capacity crowd.

 _Pop That Lock_ saw the energy levels cranked back up off the scale and Adam shone in the punishing heat, skipping the length and breadth of the stage as he gave it everything, before handing the performance over to his band for a pop-tastic jam session.

Following Adam’s movements as he left the stage, Tommy smiled through the familiar bittersweet ache as he watched Adam beckon Sauli up the side stairs and into the wings of the stage, gathering him into his arms to kiss him hard. It was touching, uplifting and heartbreaking all at the same time.

Channelling that surge of emotion, Tommy absolutely slayed his solo, missing Adam’s return to the party and his huge grin of approval.

They played their way through setlist, everyone was at the top of their game and every song achieved perfection; vocals, timing and feeling - right there… _Chokehold_ into _Broken English_ , both resonating with emotion, before _If I had you_ brought it back up-tempo. Adam was tactile and attentive to Tommy, pressing up close, singing directly to him and resting his hand on Tommy’s shoulder, on his back and lightly smacking his backside, continuing the physical contact and attention through _Naked Love_ and _Never Close Our Eyes_. Hyper, deliriously happy and totally in-the-moment, _Cuckoo_ was the perfect ending to an absolutely cracking show, Adam’s love for his band shining through in their introductions.

After showing his appreciation of Rick’s drumming, Adam moved across to Tommy’s side and ruffled his hair “ _Meow_!” Adam laughed and draped an arm around Tommy’s shoulder “get a load of this funky bluesy guitar…” He squeezed Tommy’s arm and whispered in his ear “Go get it, baby…”

Grinning, Tommy moved to centre stage and let it go, pouring his soul and every emotion into his brief solo. He was trembling when he’d finished and staggered back to Adam’s side. “Awesome, just fucking awesome!” Tommy smiled happily as Adam mouthed the words before bringing the mic back to his lips “Give it up for my pretty kitty, Tommy Joe Ratliff…”

Tommy zoned out for Brian’s intro, happily replaying the last few songs and the closeness they’d had. Somehow, knowing Sauli was there watching them, made it even more special…

Tommy was a contented pretty kitty as they left the stage and returned, hot and sweaty, to their allocated green room. Bradford patted everyone on the back, enthusing about the sound quality, band dynamics and name dropping some serious approval from the other performers. With a final “good job!” he left them to unwind whilst he oversaw the packing up of their gear for onward shipping to Australia.

By common consent they trooped back to their base, showered, changed and returned to the showground, a large buoyant group of friends out to have a good time as they enjoyed the other acts on the different stages. Tommy’s butterflies floated gently on the breeze as he revelled in the moment, secure with his best friends; Adam’s arm around his shoulders one side and Sauli’s the other…

After cheering themselves hoarse to the closing act, they headed back to their blue base for some much needed sleep before their nine hour flight to Australia later that day. With their main luggage already sent ahead from Tokyo, they only had their small bags to worry about – another gold star for Bradford’s medal collection for awesome organisation!

With hugs all round, they each went to their rooms and silence fell over the happy band.   

Their brief sleep time allocation passed way too quickly and there were load groans when multiple phone alarms sounded across their unit. Breakfast was a coffee and a promise of a good meal at the airport! Bradford was up even earlier than they were and scurried around like a mother hen, urging everyone to be ready for the minibus for the short ride to the terminal.

With a final fond glance around their temporary home, everyone piled into the waiting vehicle and another venue was ticked off their calendar. Japan had been a fucking awesome gig…

With their minimal luggage checked in and having gone airside, through security, the band settled in the First class lounge for their breakfast as promised. Waiting his turn at the counter, Tommy glanced around the room. There was no sign of Adam or Sauli. Even as he acknowledged that saying goodbye to Sauli after such a short time together was going to be hard for Adam, he couldn’t help the thrill of anticipation at the thought of having Adam to himself again…

_…just as it used to be…_

Tommy was next in line when Adam and Sauli reappeared, heads down and hands close, but not touching, as they joined the others at the table. After a brief conversation with Bradford, they wandered across to the food counter. Sauli opted for the fresh fruit, yoghurt and cereal as Adam headed for the omelette chef.

With their plates full, they all returned to the rest of the band to enjoy a lively session of good humoured banter and laughter. Tommy drained the last of his coffee and wiped his mouth with a napkin, leaning back as he patted his full stomach. “Man, I needed that!” He looked over at Bradford who was watching them with a satisfied, almost maternal, smile on his face. “Thanks, dude, great choice…”

Bradford nodded and stood up, arranging to meet everyone at the departure gate once their flight was called, before taking his leave of them with a cheery wave. Conversations around the table began discussion of how to pass the next ninety minutes until their flight was due to start boarding.

Tommy was gazing idly out of the window, watching the planes taxiing towards the runway and the general hive of activity on the ground, not following the flow of conversation at all. He jumped when Adam leant in close and spoke quietly “I’m going to see Sauli off for his plane back to LA…” he paused, resting a hand lightly on Tommy’s thigh “would you come too? Please?”

Taken by surprise, Tommy nodded automatically at the hopeful note in Adam’s voice, wondering why the couple would want a gooseberry hanging around for their final moments before being parted for another eight days…

“Ad-am! My flight is called now…” Sauli stood up, slinging the strap of his travel bag over his shoulder as he called his goodbyes to the rest of the band and the three of them set off for gate 96.

Stopping just before the gate, Sauli tugged Tommy in for a hug, pulling back to plant a swift kiss to his lips “Thank you, Tommy, for the chance to see Adam and you all perform and be with you. You are a very special friend to us…” he smiled “…to me. I see you again very soon!”

Tommy’s heart filled with warmth at the sincerity and force in the Finn’s voice, folding him back into the hug once more. “Safe journey! And yeah, we’ll be back before you know it!” Releasing him, Tommy stepped back and watched as Adam took his place in Sauli’s embrace. He tried, but failed, to look away as they kissed goodbye, finding to his surprise that there was no pain, only a feeling of gentle contentment tinged with the faintest hint of sadness as Sauli handed over his boarding card and passed through the gate, turning to wave before he disappeared from sight.

Sliding his hand into Tommy’s, Adam sighed wistfully “thank you, Glitterbaby, for arranging that trip…” his voice cracked “whatever I did to deserve you, I am truly thankful…”

Tommy squeezed Adam’s fingers “C’mon, I know just the thing to get that goofy grin back on your face!” He led them away, thumb brushing Adam’s hand reassuringly. Five minutes later they were squashed onto the tiny stool in a passport photo booth. Laughter floated out from the curtain as they fed the machine with dollars to take set after set of crazy pictures; silly faces, mussed hair and fond kisses all captured in glossy strips of everlasting memories…

With spirits high, they rejoined the others until it was time to board their flight.

On arrival in Australia they were taken straight to their hotel. After a light dinner they headed for their rooms. “Stay with me?” Adam folded Tommy’s hand into his own as he whispered softly against his ear, the warmth of Adam’s breath sending goose bumps chasing down Tommy’s spine and he smiled, bypassing his room to continue down the hallway to Adam’s suite.

A rapid splash in the basin to freshen up and they were cuddled under the sheet in minutes, asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow.

When Tommy woke the next morning, he was alone in Adam’s bed. Squinting at the clock it was after ten and he was amazed he’d slept for over twelve hours. It felt fucking amazing and he stretched luxuriously.

Hearing voices, he slid out of bed and slipped into the towelling robe draped over the chair back, wrapping it almost twice around his tiny frame as he padded through to the lounge area to find Adam.    

Adam and Bradford were sat at the table going through lists of interviews and photo sessions for the day. Adam’s face lit up in a radiant smile at the adorable sight of Tommy engulfed in his robe and he abandoned his work to tug his best friend into a hug. “Morning!” Tommy yawned loudly as he snuggled into Adam’s arms, his senses swooning happily as they were flooded with everything _Adam…_

Bradford grinned. He was loving this job and the amazing people he got to work with… Moving across to the phone he ordered fresh coffee and brioche for three.

Tommy spent the day catching up with emails and messages and watching Adam totally blow the minds of the different reporters and presenters as he answered the same questions in interview after interview, always finding something new to give each one. His passion and integrity shone through time after time and Tommy’s heart swelled with pride seeing the man he loved winning more fans with that _realness_ that was pure _Adam._

After a stroll around the secluded hotel gardens, they had a quiet dinner with the band and a brief discussion about the setlist for the following evening. Adam grinned at the enthusiastic “hell yeah!” reaction to his suggestion they add one of their newly acquired covers, giving it a stripped back, organic sound with acoustic guitar and bongo drums. They’d have a run through in the morning as it had been a while!

Band meeting over, Brian and Rick retired to the bar for a nightcap and Ashley announced a hot date with a bubble bath, leaving Adam and Tommy alone at the table. They sat in companionable silence for long minutes, hands entwined on the table top as each followed their own stream of thoughts.

Adam’s lips brushing his knuckles dragged Tommy back to the present from his pleasant day dreams and his eyes flew open to see fond amusement twinkling in crystal blue pools as they met his gaze. “Nice place?” Adam chuckled softly at the puzzled look on Tommy’s face “wherever you were just now…was it a nice place?”

“Er…” Tommy blushed as image after image of cuddling up with Adam raced through his head, some clothed, others more… _natural_ in origin, as they kissed each other into oblivion and hands roamed freely over their bodies… “I…um…”

“I only ask because you had this dreamy smile on your face and you were purring…” Adam’s grip tightened on Tommy’s captive fingers “you looked completely adorable! What puts such a gorgeous smile on my pretty kitty’s face?”

Tommy’s blush deepened and he tore his eyes from Adam’s “ _you!”_ the word escaped before he could stop it and he cursed himself under his breath… _fuckshitbuggerfuck_

A gentle finger under his chin tipped his face up to see Adam’s smile, warm and vibrant before his lips pressed softly against Tommy’s in a sweet and tender kiss. “I love that I can make you happy; _and_ that we’re still _us_ no matter what else goes on in our lives…and I will _never_ forget everything you’ve done for me…” He tugged Tommy in closer, their foreheads resting together and the world around them faded away.

“Shall we go upstairs?” Tommy felt rather than heard Adam’s tiny whisper and he nodded briefly, following as Adam led them to the elevator.

They fell asleep quickly, wrapped around each other as the night slipped into a new day.

After coffee with Adam, Tommy finally exercised the key card to his own room and took a leisurely shower, enjoying a slow build to release as he pictured Adam stretched out on his bed in just a towel; damp freckled skin fragrant with shower products as Tommy chased stray water droplets with his tongue…

It was a while before Tommy’s legs had the strength to carry him to his own bed where he crashed out for long, blissfully sated minutes.

Dressed and hair dried, a potent mix of contentment and sexual energy thrumming through his veins, Tommy returned to Adam’s suite and knocked on the door.

Adam answered it; a flustered, hot and sticky, breathless Adam who returned immediately to his computer to gasp “Love you, baby, so much” before closing down his skype and mumbling incoherently under his breath as he staggered back into the bathroom. Seconds later the shower sounded once more.

Tommy grinned. He knew _exactly_ how Adam felt coming down from his orgasmic high, sniggering quietly to himself at yet another unintentional pun!

Calling room service, Tommy requested tea and honey cookies and settled down to wait for Adam to reappear.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For dancerjb and GlambertUK71 <3 <3

The tea arrived just as Adam emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed again.

“Feelin’ better?” Tommy grinned and poured the tea.

“Yeah, amazing what a good…er…long distance um… _discussion_ …” Adam took the mug Tommy held out for him “Thanks…y’know!”

“I know!”

They sipped their drinks and crunched cookies in companionable silence, enjoying the quiet after the madness of the previous few days.

Adam plonked his empty mug back on the tray and stretched contentedly, reaching for Tommy’s hand to entwine their fingers. “Are you happy, Tommy Joe?”

“Huh?” The question took him by surprise.

“I want you to be happy…if there’s anything I can do to make you happy, I want to do it…”

_Kiss me forever…carry me off to your bed and love me all night…tell me you remember Amsterdam actually happened…_

“Dude, I’m happier than I’ve ever been…here, _with you_ …this life, the music…everything we are…everything we do…”

Tommy’s words and the conviction in his voice brought a smile to Adam’s face that eclipsed the sun in its brightness and he lifted their joined hands to kiss Tommy’s knuckles lightly “That makes two of us…I’m living my dreams and I have the two people I love most in the world to share it with…” his voice hitched and his grip tightened on Tommy’s hand.

“Hey, no getting’ all mushy on me!” Tommy squeezed Adam’s fingers… _the people I love most…_

Warmth flooded his veins and he grinned.

Life was good.

“So, what do I wear tonight?” The question was irrelevant, merely a way to step back from the intense emotional moment and resume normality. They both leapt on the topic and took a virtual tour through the clothes Adam had brought with him…

Later that day, Adam sat back in the chair as Tommy applied his make up; a touch of silver grey shadow to his eyelids, black eyeliner and mascara and a natural gloss on his lips. The result was stunning and enhanced the crystal clear blue of his eyes, the whole ensemble coordinated and perfect.

“There! You are _fucking gorgeous!_ ” Tommy tugged Adam from the chair and propelled him towards the mirror. “That top matches your hair and…fuck, no question about it - you’re gonna blow them away!”

Adam grinned at his reflection and turned, wrapping Tommy into a tight hug “Love you, my Tommy Joe!”

“Love you too, babyboy”

The Take 40 lounge was small and intimate, three hundred the maximum the venue could accommodate. At soundcheck earlier that morning they’d trialled several different set ups, settling on everyone seated - including Adam – muted keys, acoustic guitars and bongo drums for a stripped back, organic sound to match the simplicity of the stage.

As was tradition for the Take 40, Adam had a relaxed interview before the event, sharing their choice of cover to a collective intake of breath from the sound crew who were recording them. It seemed anticipation was high! Adam laughed delightedly and promised a kickass gig before joining the rest of his band for cool drinks in the green room.

After introductions by the Take 40 music staff, they opened with _Trespassing,_ following that up with _Shady_ and _Kickin’ In_. The stripped back arrangement really showcased Adam’s vocals and the audience were revelling in their exclusive performance. This gig was unlike anything else they’d done to date, with the presenter stopping them mid set for a question and answer session. It was unusual, but refreshing, and Adam threw himself into the fan-posed questions with enthusiasm and that trademark openness that had endeared him to so many across the globe…

After presenting him with a yellow and black striped arm sock, the presenter planted a cheeky kiss to his cheek and scampered off the tiny stage. With the crowd falling silent, the music resumed with a soul stirring _Whataya want from me_ that set the hairs on the back of Tommy’s neck on end and left him with a lump in his throat, the sensation compounded by numerous intense gazes as Adam looked across at him from his position centre stage.

From the emotion laden final notes, they swung straight into the reggae beat of Bob Marley’s classic _Is this love_ , the room reverberating to the coolest, laid back vibe as their audience joined in the chorus and waved their hands in the air. Adam applauded them, laughing along as they moved into _Naked Love_ “C’mon, you know the words! Sing along…and I wanna see some clothing coming off your bodies!” His eyes flicked towards Tommy, playful suggestion dancing in those clear blue pools.

A delicious shudder crept down Tommy’s spine as his brain helpfully supplied a rerun of Amsterdam and he grinned briefly before ducking his head back to his playing and hiding behind his hair.

Adam was in high spirits as they launched into their closing number, _Cuckoo_ , making a spur of the moment decision to omit the _f_ word from this particular rendition, but it suited the occasion and they finished to resounding cheers.

After signing autographs and posing for pictures, they headed back to the hotel, spirits high and looking forward to their planned film night and carpet picnic. They bundled en mass into Adam’s suite, the hospitality trolley already there waiting for them. Adam handed out drinks and slung the remote control for the TV over to Brian to start loading the film choices.

Ashley tugged Tommy into a hug on the sofa a wicked twinkle in her eye as she gave a sidelong glance at Rick “one last wind-up? We’ll tell him tomorrow…” her lips soft and warm against his ear made him giggle and he nodded imperceptibly, preparing to go along with whatever she decided.

He was only slightly surprised when she stroked her fingers lightly down his face, starting from his forehead, tracing the contours of his eyes, cheeks, lips and chin, finally tipping his face to hers to kiss him sweetly. Tommy’s arms snaked around Ashley’s waist and pulled her closer, the pair giggling, lips barely a breath apart as they caught Rick’s admiring gaze.

Brian chuckled “Oi, kids! Get a room!” He wandered back to Adam “Don’t you think they look cute together, though!”

Peering though his hair, Tommy watched the emotion chase across Adam’s face; fond amusement, definitely, appreciating the wind-up, but there was something else lurking deep within those beautiful blue eyes…hurt? Anger? Tommy’s butterflies surged into excited flight as he identified it… _possessive jealousy…_

_Adam was jealous…_

Tommy grinned happily and snuggled into Ashley’s warm body… _Adam was jealous…_

 _Adam was…_ Tommy jumped as he realised Ashley was talking to him and he hurriedly rejoined reality, nodding his agreement to go and collect her manicure set and nail varnish from her room “…because you love me, Teebie!”

“Always, my sexy-pie!” Tommy wriggled out of her arms and took her key card. “Be right back!”

Sauntering down the hallway, Tommy’s thoughts wandered back to replay _that_ look on Adam’s face… Reaching Ashley’s room, he let himself in, picked up the little blue case she’d described and turned to retrace his steps back to Adam’s.

Female pain-filled cries elbowed aside his continuing daydream and he swung around to see a dark skinned woman being pulled roughly out of the elevator by her hair. As Tommy stepped towards them, the man glared angry bloodshot eyes in Tommy’s direction. “What the fuck are you looking at?” The potent waft of alcohol was overpowering even at a distance. Yanking harder on the woman’s hair, the man-mountain dug into his pocket to pull out his key card, fumbling it into the lock on the door several rooms down from Ashley’s.

“Do you need help, Miss?” Tommy ignored the brute, reaching out towards the young woman whose tear-stained face and bruised bare arms suggested she was in extreme need of assistance.

The door opened and the man shoved the now whimpering woman violently into the room, snarling into Tommy’s face “mind your own fucking business, arsehole…” The fumes on his breath would’ve pole-axed a two ton rhino and Tommy spluttered as the man brandished a heavily tattooed fist under his nose before adding menacingly “or you’ll fucking regret it…”

Turning, the man stepped into his room and went to close the door. Tommy grabbed it and stuck his foot in the doorway. “I don’t know what’s going on, but you need to let her out of here while you sleep it off…” Tommy’s tone was mild, wanting to avoid further inflaming whatever situation was in progress, but with a steely undercurrent that suggested he was not going to step away until he was sure the woman would come to no harm.

“I said, _you need to mind your own fucking business…”_ The man kicked at Tommy’s foot viciously and shoved him forcibly away from the door, spinning back to slam the door just as Tommy grabbed at it once more.

A sickening crunch of bone and a white hot explosion of pain in his fingers had Tommy crying out, even as he pressed forward, his hand on fire, a surge of adrenaline coursing through his veins giving him additional strength and he wrestled the door open. Ducking to avoid the man’s fist, Tommy took a vicious body blow from his foot, staggering backwards as the man wrenched Tommy’s injured hand from the doorframe and he felt blackness washing over him.

He heard Adam’s voice calling his name just before he hit the floor.

“ _Tommy…sweetheart…please…Tommy…”_ It felt like he was wading through mud with a ton of bricks strapped to his back, but the urgency and worry in Adam’s voice spurred him onwards…

Tommy’s eyelids flickered and he felt Adam’s hushed intake of breath, blinking against the harsh lights of… _wherever the fuck we are…_

 _“Adam?”_ it came out as a raw whisper. Tommy’s throat hurt and his body felt like he was wearing a lead overcoat.

 _“Tommy?_ Thank fuck…baby, I’ve been so worried…” Adam’s face swum into focus, those usually sparkling blue eyes now clouded with concern. He reached across to press the buzzer and a nurse bustled in almost immediately.

“How’s my hero patient then?” Her kindly face broke into a smile as she checked his temperature and pupil response to her pen light. “Good, looks like no permanent damage but we’ll keep you overnight just to make sure there’s no concussion…” She scribbled some figures onto his chart.

“Adam? What’s going on?”

“You’re in hospital…you’ve been injured…you’ve…” Adam’s voice faltered and he looked at the nurse for help.

“Tommy Ratliff, you’re a very brave man, that’s what’s going on!” She smiled at him. “You saved a young woman from serious injury…she’s going to be fine and that man’s been arrested. Now, if you promise not to get over-excited, I’ll let the rest of your friends in and see if I can rustle up some tea for you. Just no trying to move those fingers just yet, though!” She nodded brightly at him and moved away to the door.   

“Fingers?” Tommy’s face drained of the little colour he had, as recollection of events flooded his head. “ _Fuck, Adam! My fingers…I can’t play…why can’t I feel my hand? Adam?”_

“Sshhh, baby…” Adam climbed onto the bed beside him and gathered the panic stricken man he adored into his arms, rocking them gently as he whispered into Tommy’s ear. “Your hand is in plaster and they had to numb it to put your bones back into place…you’re going to be as good as new in a month or so…”

Tommy froze “ _A month or so?_ What about the Sunrise show, and Guerrilla Square? I need to play…” He struggled against Adam’s hold “Let me see!”

“Tommy, please…” Adam’s voice hitched and Tommy felt the wet warmth of tears against his neck. He stopped struggling immediately and allowed himself to sink back into Adam’s embrace.

“I promise not to freak out… _please_ , Babyboy…”

Adam snuffled against his skin “Just let me hold you a little bit more…”

Tommy melted further into the reassuring warmth of Adam’s body “Okay, tell me what happened. It’s all a bit hazy after I grabbed the door...”

“We heard you yelling and rushed out to see what was happening. You were on the floor and that animal was kicking the shit out of you while you were unconscious. But before we could get to you, hotel security pounced on him and got him to the ground. I’m pleased to say they were quite rough with him!” There was a distinct note of satisfaction to Adam’s tone. “The woman you saved had managed to call them whilst he was fighting with you…” His voice dropped “…you’re going to be black and blue for a while but I promise I’m going to kiss every one of your bruises better...”

An involuntary shiver of anticipation ran through Tommy’s body. Maybe bruises weren’t so bad after all…

Adam loosened his hold and sat up carefully, helping Tommy to shuffle up the bed into a semi-sitting position. Tommy stifled a whimper as he saw his heavily plastered wrist, hand and fingers for the first time. “Why can’t I feel anything?”

“They pumped you full of pain killers – the good stuff! You’ve got morphine dancing in your system right now! The plaster is only temporary. You were lucky – the door crushed your fingers badly and two were dislocated, but it didn’t break any bones apart from one tiny hairline fracture. You’ll have to have some physiotherapy on them but you should be able to play again in a few weeks.”

“Bu…” Adam effectively cut off Tommy’s protest by pressing his lips to Tommy’s, the chaste kiss gentle and comforting.

“Brian and I will do the two gigs on our own. Brian’s working out an acoustic keys mix – it’s only a couple of tracks for each one and we can concentrate on getting you fit again for the Marylanders gig back home in Washington next month.” He reached for Tommy’s undamaged hand and slid his fingers though Tommy’s. “We’re so proud of you for what you did, and although the police will want to talk to you, it’s a formality as it’s all on the hotel’s CCTV…”

The door opened and the smiling nurse reappeared, Ashley, Rick, Brian and Bradford following behind her. Brian carried a tray of typical hospital style cups and saucers and Bradford had a large bag of pastries.

“We brought dinner!”

“Just half an hour and then Tommy needs to rest!” With her firm instructions issued, she left them to it. 

The coffee was just about drinkable and the pastries passable, but it was a happy and relieved group of friends who finally took their leave after pleading for, and getting, extra time. They each hugged Tommy carefully, even Bradford, before heading back to the hotel.      

Tommy was drifting off to sleep when Adam returned from seeing the others off. He smiled at the sight of the mop of blue hair spread over the pure white linen of the hospital pillow and crept around the bed, moving his chair closer so he could hold Tommy’s uninjured hand as he slept.

When the nurse checked in on her rounds two hours later, Adam had abandoned his chair and was once again wrapped around Tommy on the bed. Adam was still fully clothed apart from his boots, having settled on top of the sheets, his arm curled protectively around Tommy’s waist.

Without disturbing them, she took Tommy’s pulse, wrote up his chart and left quietly.

Tommy woke slowly, the reassuring feel of Adam’s arms around him chasing away the immediate sense of panic as he remembered where he was. He shifted carefully, not wanting to wake Adam if he was still asleep, a sudden whimper of pain escaping as his bruised ribs objected.

“Tommy? You okay? You want me to get the nurse?” Adam sat up, his face clouded with concern as he watched Tommy moving painfully onto his back having shaken his head at Adam’s offer to help.

“Think the medication’s worn off… _fuck!_ That bastard did a real number on my ribs…” Tommy gasped as he made a final effort and landed in his desired semi-sitting position. He examined his fingers, wiggling them experimentally and aside from wincing at the jolts of pain he was relieved to find they all moved.

“Thank fuck for that!” Tommy’s impassioned relief had Adam grinning and he pressed a soft kiss to the tip of each of Tommy’s fingers.

Their hands were still joined when the nurse came in and she smiled at them. “Good morning, gentlemen. How are you feeling, Tommy?” Adam moved aside so she could take Tommy’s temperature and check his pulse and blood pressure.

“’m fi..okay…” Tommy mumbled, attempting unsuccessfully to hide a sudden whine of pain as she pressed lightly over his injuries.

“Does it hurt? Truth please – you don’t have to be a caveman for me, young man!”

Tommy nodded “Feels like I’ve been trampled on by a stampeding herd of wildebeest!”

She chuckled “I can imagine! We can get you some more pain relief and once the doctor’s seen you I’m sure you’ll be free to go home…” she tilted her head and surveyed them both thoughtfully“…or wherever you’re off to next! I hear you’re famous! We have hundreds of concerned fans outside in the parking lot, all demanding to know how you are!”

Tommy looked at Adam and grinned “ _He’s_ famous, I’m just the guitarist!”

“From the way they’re chanting your name, you’re more than just the guitarist! If you’re okay to talk, I’d like the hospital Press Officer to come in and take a brief statement we can give them…if that’s allowed?”

Adam was already fishing out his phone to call Bradford and a few brief comments later he hung up. “My Tour Manager’s on his way in, he’ll sort all that out. Sorry if they’re causing any problems…” He moved to sit back on the bed and draped an arm around Tommy’s shoulders, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his temple “and yes, he’s way more important than just playing guitar!” He smiled at the nurse “Thank you for looking after him for me.”

“You’re welcome, son. Now, I can have some breakfast sent in whilst you wait for the doctor and I’ll see if I can get those painkillers as well. Don’t worry if you see a different face coming in to check on you; we’re just on shift change but I won’t go anywhere until you’re ready to leave!”

They were finishing their toast and boiled eggs when Bradford arrived, his ear pressed to his phone as he spoke rapidly to whoever was on the other end “…I’m here now, yes, it’s all over the local news…I’ll get a statement drafted and we’ll get that put out. No, it won’t interfere with the planned schedule…right! Soon! Thanks!” He hung up “Sorry, guys, just bringing Shosh up to speed.” He turned to Tommy “how’re you doing?”

Tommy nodded and grinned stupidly, wiggling his fingers. “’m fine!” He giggled.

“He’s high!” Adam chuckled “they’ve just re-done his pain relief so he’s a bit spaced out!” he blew a kiss in response to Tommy’s tongue sticking out at him “but you won’t notice the difference!”

“Good news!” Bradford grinned. “Now, let’s get this press release done!” Pulling out his familiar notebook, Bradford dragged the chair over to the bed and dropped down into it. Within minutes they had a brief statement prepared and Bradford left them to meet the detective running the case, for his approval before facing the rapidly swelling crowd and several TV and radio crews.

They missed the actual delivery of the simply worded release as Tommy was being thoroughly checked over by the on-call doctor who pressed down in all the wrong places and didn’t turn a hair at the number of expressive swear words that fell from Tommy’s lips despite the recent addition of a shot of pain relief.

Satisfied, the doctor pronounced Tommy good-to-go, once he’d been to the plaster room to have the temporary cast removed and a lighter, supportive dressing put in its place. With Tommy’s face and torso now turning a delightful shade of black and purple as the bruising started to emerge, they arranged to leave via the rear doors in the Laundry room.

Tommy’s prescription for pain killers was ready and waiting for him once he emerged from the plaster room and he thanked the nurses for looking after him. Finally, they slipped quietly out of the hospital and into the waiting car, heading back to the hotel and their waiting friends.

Tommy was hugged carefully as soon as they arrived back at Adam’s suite. Adam checked he was settled in the armchair before bolting into the shower to prepare for his scheduled visits and radio interviews. Within thirty minutes he’d planted a soft kiss on Tommy’s lips and he and Bradford had left.

Tommy talked acoustic arrangements with Brian whilst Ashley and Rick immersed themselves in a game of Monopoly that they’d found in the games cupboard downstairs. All was calm once more…

With their discussions completed to his satisfaction, Brian took himself off to rehearse the new arrangements and Tommy remembered belatedly to check his phone. He had umpteen missed calls and in excess of fifty text messages. Cursing his lack of thought, he scrolled through them.

His first call was to his mum, reassuring her that he was fine and yes, he’d been to the hospital and yes, he was sure he was okay… The hitch in her voice when she told him how proud she was of him, had a lump forming in his own throat and he told her gruffly that he loved her but it was time he had a nap…doctor’s orders…

Next, he replied to Sutan, Brad, Mike, Alla and Liz, all wanting to make sure he was still on this side of breathing, Mike’s “so fucking proud of you, fucker, but next time stick your skinny little arse in the doorway and save your fucking fingers!” bringing a rueful smile to his face.

Sauli had obviously been updated on events by Adam as the Finn’s message concentrated on ways to eat healthy and help his body to heal, along with a promise that Adam would look after him and it made Sauli proud to be the friend of a hero.

Braving a glimpse at social media, Tommy was overwhelmed by all the love and concern for his wellbeing and he posted a brief message of thanks on both his Twitter and Facebook and then closed it down as tiredness washed over him. Moments later he was asleep.

When he stirred some hours later, Adam was once again at his bedside, his face showing distinct signs of weariness, but he was relaxed as he scrolled through his phone. As soon as he saw Tommy was awake, he pressed a tender kiss to his lips and reached for the room phone to order tea and sandwiches. As he sat up carefully, Tommy realised the others had now gone and it was just him and Adam.

When he returned from the lounge area, Adam had a bottle of water and Tommy’s pills, cracking open the water as Tommy tipped two pain killers out into his hand. Washing them down with a slug of the refreshingly ice cold water, Tommy flexed his fingers slowly, working them as the physio had demonstrated before he’d left the hospital. It hurt, but wasn’t unbearable and if it meant he’d be fit to play again by the Marriage Equality gig in Washington then he was prepared to deal with a bit of pain!

As they ate their sandwiches, Adam shared stories of his day, his favourite interview being one with Katie and Johno, two mad Glamberts from Melbourne-based LGBT radio station Joy 94.9, who’d completely mucked up their giving him a special membership number by getting his birthday wrong. Adam laughed fondly “they were devastated, poor things, but actually it was hilarious and I love that they did that for me and I’m now member number two-seven-zero-one! They were there for the Take 40 as well, so I recognised their faces and they were so delightfully informal; Johno is obviously not one for shaking hands as he launched in with a hug and a kiss!” he chuckled at the indignant look on Tommy’s face “It was cool, baby, honest!” He dropped a kiss to the end of Tommy’s nose “…and not a patch on your hugs and kisses!”

Warmth spread through Tommy’s veins and he grinned happily as Adam resumed the tale of the interview.

“They had some good questions too and the photo session at the end was brilliant. We did the usual ones, then Katie wanted me to ‘dip’ her – bend her backwards like you do at the end of a formal dance - but I was a bit distracted by her awesome dress; it was really unusual so I said I’d actually rather undo one of her zips! We fell about laughing and I was really sad we’d run out of time…run well over time, actually but I think Bradford could see I was enjoying it so he let me play a bit longer!” Adam chuckled “I’m definitely keeping him after this latest jaunt!”

Tommy listened contentedly, enjoying Adam’s energy and enthusiasm. Once they’d finished eating, they called up a film and relaxed against each other as Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman lit up the screen in Moulin Rouge.

By the time the film had finished, Tommy was almost asleep again. Adam helped him out of his jeans and shoes and socks and tucked him under the covers, before stripping off his own clothes down to boxer briefs and t-shirt and climbing in beside him. As soon as Adam was settled, Tommy shuffled backwards, grunting happily as Adam curled an arm around his waist and they slipped into slumber.

Adam was gone when Tommy woke the next morning, a folded note on his pillow telling him to take it easy and get himself ready for the journey to Melbourne later. Glancing at the clock, Tommy flicked on the TV, delighted when he caught the announcer saying Adam would be on after the break… _talk about perfect timing…_

Tommy utilised the break to relieve the pressure on his bladder and was ordering coffee when the Sunrise morning show returned. _Whataya Want From Me_ was emotional and beautiful, the simple piano accompaniment really showcasing Adam’s flawless vocals and Tommy’s heart swelled with love and pride.

He’d managed to fit a shower in between the two songs, avoiding the mirror studiously as his hands ran lightly over the battered and discoloured flesh of his torso… _I promise to kiss each of your bruises better…_ Adam’s soft whisper ran through his head, a few swift strokes dealing with the immediate physical response to those most pleasurable of images and he gasped his release, washing away the evidence with Adam’s shower gel as he basked in the afterglow.

Pleasantly sated, he was dried and dressed and back in front of the TV before _Trespassing_ just before nine am. Brian had slowed the arrangement and Adam’s voice rang pure and true as he lit up the studio with his stunning performance. When the show finished, Tommy carefully packed Adam’s clothes apart from one change of outfit for his imminent return and headed back to his own room to repeat the process. This took much less time as he’d barely been in his allocated room, spending most of his time in Adam’s.

The multiple aches were once again making themselves felt so he ordered some breakfast, washing down a couple of his super strength painkillers with a gallon of coffee and then working through his finger exercises.

Adam and Brian were back shortly after and it was all systems go for their next hotel hop to Melbourne, the short flight passing without incident. Bradford had managed to arrange flights back to the USA for Ashley and Rick and they said their goodbyes at the gate as they waved the pair off before heading for their own departure. Tommy was tired when they arrived and took himself to bed, noting that Adam had asked for rooms with an adjoining door like they’d had in Tokyo. Feeling safe and protected, he fell asleep with a smile and Adam’s name on his lips.

Whilst Adam did a couple of interviews the next day, Tommy sat with Brian and had his first attempt at playing since his injury. As pain shot through his fingers and up his arm, he had to concede that it was too soon... _fuckfuckfuck…_

Brian watched him, noting the sadness and frustration that Tommy was trying so hard to hide. “Dude, now we’ve got a bit of time with Adam doing his _thang_ in interview, you wanna look at some stuff that we can do in our next downtime between gigs? We’ll have a bit of a break next month whilst he's in China…”

It was a good tactic as Tommy’s face lit up and he tugged his phone out. “I really wanna play this…” The sound of the blues filled the room and although Tommy resisted the urge to grab his guitar, he couldn’t help giving it some mean and moody air moves, drawing out that final note with a happy sigh.  “I fucking _love_ Freddie King! I think _Woman Across the river_ has to be my favourite…” he grinned at Brian’s amused expression “I love the Blues…and some of Hendrix’s stuff…fucking awesome!”

They ordered coffee and some Tim Tams, a chocolate double layer biscuit that Brian had become addicted to on his first ever visit to Australia, and threw themselves into an exploration of the Blues…

Adam stood unnoticed in the doorway, watching as his musical director and guitarist mimed and aired their way through a live Hendrix performance of _Red House_ , both giving it everything they had. Adam grinned and filed the title away as a future cover, before striding into the room applauding as the two bowed to their imaginary audience, their backs to him.

They both jumped and spun around, Tommy’s brown eyes glowing and his cheeks flushed under the yellowing bruises. He looked utterly beautiful, Adam decided, moving to fold him into a hug before kissing him softly.

“Great performance! Have you earned lunch yet?” he chuckled “I hope so, because I’m hungry! Give me ten minutes to have a quick shower and we’ll try the terrace bistro downstairs?”

Nodding enthusiastically, Brian and Tommy both returned to their own rooms to freshen up, meeting back in Adam’s suite where the three continued their discussion and appreciation of the Blues in the elevator and right the way through lunch, into the afternoon.

Tommy was tired, but happy, as he slid between the cool sheets that night. He slept.

After a leisurely breakfast on Adam’s balcony the next morning, Adam, Brian and Bradford settled down in meeting mode to discuss the day’s planned events – the mini-gig at Federation Square followed straight after by a CD signing at a music store. Adam would also be meeting the winners of his _Trespassing_ video competition who’d flown in from neighbouring New Zealand.

Tommy settled down in the armchair, preparing to do his finger exercises and then catch up on some emails. It felt strange to be going home after the excitement of recent weeks, even with his injury. The next month was going to be something of an anti-climax, especially if he still couldn’t play…

The darkness deep within his soul stirred and he forced it back into its box, slamming the lid.

With packing and airport security requirements, it was going to be a tight schedule as their flight back to the States departed at ten that night, leaving very little margin for error! Bradford scribbled a few reminder notes into his book and snapped it closed with a smile. “I think we’re done! And in case I don’t get a chance later; I’ve had a blast on this job, working with you all…” He grinned crookedly, the human Bradford temporarily revealed from behind his wall of super-efficiency, “okay, enough of that crap! See you guys downstairs in the lobby at one fifteen…” Nodding, he exited the room swiftly.

“I really like him…” Adam tapped his fingers thoughtfully against his empty coffee mug. “I definitely think we’ll keep him… _if_ he’ll stay on, of course!” He laughed at Brian’s questioning look “we _are_ an acquired taste and completely fucking cuckoo!”

“Speak for yourself! I’m quite the normal guy!” Brian attempted a straight face and failed completely, the three of them laughing helplessly as they goofed around the room, pulling mad faces and using silly voices until they collapsed in a tangled heap on Adam’s bed.

Tommy groaned as his bruised ribs grumbled at the ill-treatment and he pushed Adam’s head off his stomach, moving him lower until he was level with Tommy’s hips. The heat and weight of Adam’s head resting in that region of his body sent Tommy’s senses into raptures and his entire blood supply re-routed southwards.

Adam chuckled wickedly and rubbed his head back and forth, creating tantalising friction that was just this side of not enough and Tommy bit down hard on his lip to keep the succession of needy moans from escaping. Closing his eyes, he was attempting to regain control when Adam started running his fingers up and down Tommy’s inner thigh.

No amount of lip biting was going to hold back those noises now and he crumbled under the dual assault, whimpering as his hips bucked into the touch.

Brian laughed and sat up, untangling his limbs from the melee before standing and heading for the door. “I’m gonna pack…see you downstairs in a bit…” his knowing wink drawing a fierce blush to Tommy’s cheeks as the door closed behind him.

Adam’s fingers danced a slow crawl up Tommy’s body, sliding under his crumpled t-shirt to trace over the yellow and purple mottled flesh. Tommy hissed at the contact as Adam’s touch sparked fires of desire that thrummed under his skin and he squirmed as his jeans became ever tighter.

Rolling over onto his knees, Adam pushed Tommy’s t-shirt up over his head and dropped it to the floor, before threading his fingers through Tommy’s. “Close your eyes, Glitterbaby, and just feel…”

Tommy shivered with delicious sensation as Adam’s lips brushed his shoulder, momentary warmth and the tantalising scratchy tickle of day old stubble setting his soul aflame…

Adam worked his way across Tommy’s neck and his other shoulder, pausing to capture his lips for a tongue tangling tender kiss that left Tommy a whimpering, molten mess. Moving slowly down his torso, Adam’s soft lips pressed kisses to every single bruise or blemish that marked his usually milky white flesh.

When he reached Tommy’s waistband on his jeans, he nudged him gently, turning Tommy onto his front so he could continue on Tommy’s back. By the time Adam had left soft kisses up to his shoulder blades, Tommy was floating, his eyes closed and lost in a world of fluffy clouds and squishy marshmallows…

Stretching out beside him, Adam cuddled him in close and held him until Tommy’s slow, regular breathing indicated he was asleep. Allowing himself a brief moment just holding the man he still adored, Adam buried his nose into Tommy’s hair and absorbed that unique aroma that was just _Tommy…_

As moments became minutes, and minutes multiplied, it took all Adam’s self control to extricate himself from his cosy haven, but there was work to be done… Finally stood beside the bed, he gazed down at the brutal marks all over Tommy’s torso and marvelled anew at the brave act Tommy had done in saving that young woman from a vicious beating at a high cost to his own personal safety. Adam’s love deepened…

Moving away, he grabbed the spare blanket from the wardrobe and draped it gently over the sleeping man before sorting out his clothes for his afternoon gig. Dressed and ready, he left Tommy asleep as he headed out to meet Brian.

Tommy slept through the gig, missing the four songs instead of the planned three and woke towards the end of the subsequent CD signing session. Yawning and stretching, his brain then replayed every brush of Adam’s lips until he was tingling all over and it was all he could do to stagger off to the shower to finish the job in hand…

Right now, he loved his bruises…


	17. Chapter 17

A long wearisome journey later and Tommy found himself and his gear safely landed in his apartment. It was good to be home but he already missed the camaraderie of his Glamily…the apartment was way too fucking quiet and he quashed the urge to scream out loud and run back down the stairs in the hope that the minibus would still be there…

After wandering through all the rooms to check that nothing radical had changed, he ended up back in the living space. The only thing different here was the picture that Adam and Sauli had given him, now back from the framers and hung in pride of place on the wall. Gazing at his and Adam’s faces, and the intensity of emotion as they immersed themselves in the music, Tommy felt a wave of nostalgia wash over him… _GNT…fun times…before…_

_Fuck…before he arrived…_

_…Sauli…_

_Fuckshitbuggerfuck…_

He kicked moodily at the edge of the sofa as his head unhelpfully supplied a rolling image of the passionate welcome home Adam would be getting right about now… _that should be me…_

Allowing himself just a few minutes of jealous muttering and murderous self-torture, Tommy bundled those images up and shoved them out of sight in a corner, replacing them with the slow replay of the previous evening… _now things were starting to look up…_    

He snickered at the pun, and yes it was totally intentional!

Abandoning the idea of unpacking in favour of a physical comfort session, Tommy headed to the bathroom for a shower, enjoying a leisurely build up to an intensely satisfying climax as he re-lived the sensation of Adam’s lips brushing tenderly across his skin. He was rinsing the shampoo from his hair, still somewhat wobbly kneed, when he heard his name shouted from outside and the front door banged shut.

He shouted back, suddenly excited at the thought of seeing his best friend. “Hey, Playboy, that you?” Wrapping a towel hastily around his waist he padded wet footprints into the living room, grabbing another towel to rub at his dripping hair.

“Fucking hell, Tommy, what did that bastard do to you?” Mike looked in horror at the multitude of bruises that covered every inch of his visible flesh, now an impressive artistic mix of mottled black, blue, purple, green and yellow hues, all in various stages of repair.

Tommy shrugged “I won’t say it didn’t hurt, but it’s okay now…kissed better…” repeat viewings of Adam’s warm breath huffing softly over his skin sent excited messages scurrying southwards and he forced his mind away from the enticing image. Mike was cool and his bestie forever, but waving a boner at him in just a towel? Some things were just not done!

Mike approached him warily “Not sure if I should hug you or not!”

Chuckling, Tommy opened his arms “I won’t break, dude!” He sighed happily as he cuddled into Mike’s embrace, tucking his damp hair under Mike’s chin, the fit solid and familiar.

“Good to be home?” Mike laughed as Tommy snuggled closer.

“Yeah…”

“Loving the hair by the way! Tan said she’s going to call you her little boy blue from the nursery rhyme!” Mike chuckled as Tommy pulled out of his arms with an indignant snort “oh, trust me; it’s way better than the Papa Smurf that Dave suggested!”

Tommy resumed towelling his hair and dropped into the armchair as Mike eyed him quizzically. “What gives with the red plastic glove? You got a warped Michael Jackson vibe going on there?” He laughed without waiting for a reply, adding hand gestures and hip movements “No, don’t tell me; it’s some special sex toy or wank glove for the shower!”

“Hahaha! Nope, it’s to keep my support bandage thingy on my fingers dry! Nice idea though!” Images of jerking off to thoughts of Adam flooded Tommy’s head and he stood up again hurriedly. “’m gonna get some clothes on before Tanya comes in, don’t wanna scare her with my colourful body art!” He headed off to his bedroom “You can grab us a beer though…”

“What am I, your fucking personal slave?” Mike shook his head fondly and went obediently into the kitchen.

By the time Tanya arrived home, they’d both downed several bottles and were at the happy, tipsy stage, giggling as they discussed outlandish sex toys whilst they cooked dinner. After hugging Tommy carefully and ruffling his hair, Tanya left them to it!    

The next morning saw Tommy with a thumping hangover and a mouth like the bottom of a birdcage. All he could remember from the night before was a very loud and involved discussion about the size of dildos and strap-ons and lots of beer and laughter.

He would’ve groaned if he thought his head could take the noise…

Fortunately, he still had his super strength painkillers, he just needed to find the energy to move…

Inching slowly into a sitting position, his head argued expressively at the change in altitude and his stomach lurched unhappily, but he made it to his feet without throwing up. A couple of his mega painkillers washed down with some ice cold water nearly upset the fragile balance and he hastened his steps to the bathroom. Fortunately, the nausea passed without him hurling and he crawled into the shower in an attempt to revitalise his limp and lifeless body.

Somewhat revived under the steaming spray, he was feeling almost human by the time he’d dressed and dried his hair and was trying to decide if he could face eating anything when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Brad’s grinning face lit up the tiny screen and Tommy’s spirits lifted immediately as he pressed answer.

“Cheeks!”

“Hey gorgeous! I’ve missed you!” Brad paused, his voice taking on a more serious tone. “How’re the injuries? I saw it all over twitter…”

Memories of Adam’s lips brushing his skin surged through his head and he mumbled a reply. “’m fine now…not pretty, but healing.”

“Still need to check for myself! You want to meet for lunch? We’ve got so much to catch up on!”

Tommy grinned “Where we going?”

“I’ll give Loretta a call, see if we can get a booth…”

“Text me!”

“Deal! In a bit then…oh, and Tommy…”

“Yeah?”

“You’re going to tell me about every single kiss!” Brad hung up. leaving Tommy blushing furiously even though he was alone. Brad knew him too fucking well.

A few minutes later his phone buzzed with confirmation of their booking for one o’clock. Tommy headed back to the kitchen and made fresh coffee…

With sheer good timing, he and Brad arrived at the same time, meeting in the parking lot and went inside together. Loretta showed them to a booth, just a couple down from their original meeting one. Tommy had very fond memories of that day…

By common consent, they avoided alcohol and went for sparkling water to accompany their choice of slow-cooked smoky barbeque pulled pork and saffron rice. Tommy studied his nails as their server faded into the distance with their order and Brad leant closer with a determined, but amused expression on his face.

“Tell Cheeks _all…_ ”

“I…he…I mean…we… _nothing happened!_ ”

Brad laughed and rubbed his hands together as if warming them from the heat radiating from Tommy’s cheeks. “Like fuck it didn’t!” He nudged Tommy’s leg “I know that look Ratliff, and _that look_ says different!”

Tommy let out a huge theatrical sigh and slowly lifted his head to meet Brad’s eyes. “We kissed a few times…nothing heavy but there’s always this electricity there in the air…” he shrugged “it’s always been there, right from the first day I met him…”

“…and…”

“…and the other night he kissed all my bruises better, every single one, until I was just floating and I fell asleep. When I woke up I thought I’d dreamt it, but I know it was real…” Tommy’s body tingled as images and sensation rolled on slow replay through his head.

Brad’s amused chuckle dragged him back to the here and now. “You know you were moaning, right?” He leant closer, whispering “don’t forget, I _know_ how dayum good he is!” He sighed wistfully “he’s so _fucking good_ at making you feel good…”

They looked at each other and both reached down simultaneously to adjust their trousers before bursting into hysterical laughter. “The things that man does to us!” Brad picked up his drink “To Adam!” They clinked glasses, sipped, grinned and relaxed against each other.

“So, Adam tells me you arranged for Sauli to surprise him in Japan…”  Brad stroked Tommy’s cheek softly “That was a beautiful thing to do, honey, and I know how much it would’ve cost you – and I don’t mean in dollars!”

Tommy huffed minutely before a gentle smile stole across his face “It was weird; it was like twisting the knife on myself, but I couldn’t be sad because they were overjoyed to be together…and seeing Adam so happy makes me happy…”

“Sap!” Brad dropped a kiss on the end of Tommy’s nose and squeezed his arm reassuringly “You’re a good man Tommy Joe!”

Tommy grinned and bumped Brad’s shoulder as the server returned with their order. Tucking into their lunch, they discussed Brad’s web series and the new scripts he was writing with Jane, Brad adding actions and comical expressions as he went through some of his ideas. Consequently, they were laughing so much they missed the arrival of the couple in the booth next to them until they were both gasping for breath and quiet enough for the voices to carry…

“It is hard to be apart so long and so often…” Sauli’s voice was laden with sadness “I never see you…”

“I know baby, it kills me to be away from you…we’re lucky we have such good friends to keep us sane…”

“Tommy is the best of friends to us. I am always glad when he is with you and he was so good to bring me to you in Japan.”

Adam sounded tearful “I love Tommy, before that, and always. He’s one in a million…”

The server asking cheerfully if they were ready to order, halted any further conversation. Tommy and Brad looked at each other guiltily as they both let out a breath they hadn’t realised they were holding, acknowledging that they’d been unintentionally eavesdropping on their friends’ conversation.  

“We need to make some noise so they know we’re here without us suddenly peering over the top!” Brad looked thoughtful for a moment, cupped Tommy’s face and kissed him chastely. “That’s for Adam! Now don’t you think we should order cheesecake!”

Tommy’s bellow of laughter was infectious and Brad was holding his sides as he giggled helplessly, both recalling their first ever meeting in this very restaurant many months ago.

“My beautiful boys!” Adam’s smiling face appeared around the edge of their booth. He looked at Brad “I’d know that giggle anywhere!” He disappeared momentarily, reappearing in full with Sauli’s hand clutched in his own as the tiny blond Finn smiled a greeting.

“So what mischief are the pair of you up to?” His eyes met Tommy’s, “it’s good to hear you laughing, Glitterbaby…”

Tommy’s hopelessly romantic butterflies quivered happily at the warmth in Adam’s tone, coupled with the very obvious use of his ‘Adam only’ nickname… _Brad’s right, you’re a complete fucking sap…a helplessly, completely and utterly in love, sap…_

Brad shoved him meaningfully and draped an arm around Tommy’s shoulders, cuddling in close as he blinked wide innocent brown eyes towards Adam and Sauli. “Catching up! It’s been too long!”

A flash of the expression Tommy had labelled _possessive jealousy_ raced across Adam’s face as Brad whispered against his ear “ssshhhh, play up, sweetie!”

Tommy leant into the touch, nodding gently as he grinned happily at Adam. “Brad’s been telling me about Husbands…” he reached up to squeeze Brad’s hand, leaving their fingers interlinked “it’s fucking awesome! Funny, touching and so right on for marriage equality. I can’t wait to see it!”

Adam raised an eyebrow at their joined hands, opening his mouth to comment, just as the server returned with his and Sauli’s drinks. Moving suddenly, Adam slid in next to Tommy and shuffled in close. “We’re joining our friends, could we have them here please.” He tugged Sauli down next to him and grinned “Good! Now, a toast to us all: friends and lovers…” He clinked his glass with Tommy’s, then Brad’s, before turning to Sauli and planting a swift chaste kiss on his lips.

Conversation flowed, light and easy and Tommy was completely relaxed, zoning out of the current discussion about Burning Man as he wallowed in the warmth of Adam’s body pressed up close one side and the reassuring comfort of Brad the other. He closed his eyes, daydreaming…

A spoon tapped playfully on the end of his nose dragged him from his pleasant mental meandering and he jumped.

“Hey, you still with us?” Brad’s amused tone suggested he knew exactly the nature of Tommy’s daydreams and Tommy squirmed as his trousers tightened uncomfortably and a pale pink flush coloured his cheeks.

“Huh? Yeah, I was just…um... _thinking_ …” he finished lamely, the pink hues deepening as his friends dissolved into snorts of laughter.

Fortunately for Tommy, the server chose that moment to arrive with four large slabs of vanilla and strawberry cheesecake, Brad and Tommy having voted to wait for Adam and Sauli to have their main course first. Picking up his fork he winked at Brad, before cutting a large mouthful and sucking it off the prongs with a sinfully appreciative moan.

Brad followed suit and the pair then fed each other. Sauli watched them, fond amusement in his eyes. “They are very good friends now!” he laughed as he spoke quietly against Adam’s ear.

Adam nodded, distracted as he watched them, wondering just when they’d become so close...

“Ad-am?” Sauli’s voice filtered through his musing and he turned towards his boyfriend, one hand sliding around the back of his neck as he pulled him closer for a heated kiss.

Tommy dropped his fork with a clatter, sudden tears stinging his eyes as he watched Sauli melt into Adam’s embrace, their bodies fused together, fingers tangled in hair, lips moving perfectly in unison.

As the colour drained from Tommy’s face and his happy laughter froze in his throat, Brad wrapped him into his arms and held him tightly, whispering “ _sorrysorrysorry_ ” in his ear.

Burying his face into Brad’s neck, Tommy took several deep breaths in an attempt to compose himself once more. He was pre-warned that Adam and Sauli had surfaced when Brad squeezed him tightly and laughed casually “well, you were going for it so we thought we’d have a cuddle, eh Tommy?”

A quick surreptitious wipe of his eyes and Tommy was sat up, in control of his wayward emotions once again. After a searching gaze, Adam was obviously satisfied and conversation resumed as they finished their desserts. After ordering coffee, Brad slid elegantly out of the booth and headed for the gents.

Adam hesitated briefly, before nudging Sauli to move so he could get out, then took off after Brad. Tommy tapped a quick text ‘ _Adam alert’_ and jammed his phone back into his pocket. Flexing his fingers gingerly, he started his physio routine.

Sauli shuffled closer, watching. “Does it hurt?”

Tommy shrugged “yeah, but if I want to play next month…” he winced as a sudden twinge of pain hit. “Fuck! It does it every time on that one!” he rubbed his hand to disperse the pins and needles that always followed.

“Can I?” Sauli reached for Tommy’s hand, pressing firmly, but gently, on the joints as he worked expertly through the exercises Tommy had been given. “I would do these to prepare for my ribbon classes” His slim fingers used just the right amount of pressure to work his hand without any jarring pain.

Tommy closed his eyes and let Sauli work his magic. It felt good and for the first time since he’d come round in the hospital to find his hand in a cast, he believed he’d be able to play again…

Adam and Brad slid back into the booth, talking cheerfully about the upcoming Marriage Equality benefit concert in Washington. Tommy opened his eyes “Your boyfriend has _the most amazing_ touch!”

Adam’s face lit up in a hot, sexy grin “you have no idea! When he…”

“Ad-am!” Sauli protested, an adorable flush spreading over his cheeks.

 _No wonder Adam is so in love with him, he’s sexy as fuck!_ Hot on the heels of that thought, came the realisation that actually, that was okay…Sauli made Adam happy…

_And that makes me happy…_

“Aww, baby, don’t worry, I’m keeping all your moves just for me!”

“Apart from massaging my fingers! C’mon fucker, he’s doing an awesome job so I can play guitar for you again!” Tommy winked at Sauli, the Finn grinning in acknowledgement as he continued to bend Tommy’s fingers.

Adam chuckled and inclined his head “…apart from helping my Glitterbaby to get his guitar fingers back to perfect working order!”

They lingered over their coffee, finally leaving the restaurant at just after four. Adam and Sauli hugged them both and drove off in Adam’s car after arranging for them all to meet up at the Matinee LA Festival in a few days. Sauli promised to meet Tommy the following morning to give his fingers another physio session.

Leant back against Brad’s car in the parking lot, Tommy waited expectantly. Brad grinned “He still wants you; I know he’s in love with Sauli, but he’s still in love with you too. He went all protective tiger on me! _Fiercely jealous_ protective tiger with very big teeth! I’d be scared shitless if I didn’t know him so well - so if you ever got yourself a boyfriend…”

Tommy shook his head “Not gonna happen, you know there’s only one man for me. No-one else comes close…” he grinned at the trademark Cheeks pout “except you of course!”

Brad grinned “Knew it!” He pulled Tommy in for a warm hug, the two friends prolonging the hold for long companionable minutes. Finally parting, Brad hopped into his car and drove off.

Tommy had the engine started and was about to put it into drive when his phone beeped a message. Checking it quickly, he had two messages; one from Liz asking him to call her, the other from Brian suggesting a couple of dates for them to get together to talk more about the music they were going to write together.

He replied to Brian, agreeing to the following afternoon and scrolled down to Liz’s number, hesitating a moment before pressing call. She answered almost immediately, her tone warm and friendly and before he knew it, he’d invited her to dinner…

With his waking hours mapped out for the next few days, Tommy headed to the grocery store and stocked up on all his, Mike’s and Tanya’s favourites, impulsively adding a large bouquet to his trolley… _I hope you know what the fuck you’re doing, Ratliff…_

Shopping unpacked, dinner reservation made, he sorted out his guitar and sat cross legged on the living room floor attempting to move his fingers without actually playing. It hurt like fuck but they did as they were told and being able to hold one of his beloved Fenders again was the equivalent of a comfort blanket…

After fifteen minutes he was cursing at the white hot bolts of pain but he was grinning like a demented loon. Stowing his guitar carefully, he popped the lid on his pot of mega pain killers, washed them down with a mouthful of Jack and flopped onto his bed. He was asleep in minutes.

Dinner with Liz was nice - more than nice - and they ended up in her bed, falling asleep in each other’s arms after a session of gentle loving that left them both blissfully sated.

The following morning saw him at Adam’s for coffee and his physio session with Sauli. Adam was absent, having left early for a meeting with his label about the imminent launch of his next single. Tommy found himself gazing at Sauli, seeing him through Adam’s eyes and appreciating anew the numerous reasons why Adam loved the tiny blond Finn.

It was a pleasant and enjoyable morning and he was genuinely sorry when he took his leave to meet Brian. Sauli hugged him and pressed a light chaste kiss to his lips. “I see you again tomorrow? You could come for breakfast when Adam will be here too…” he smiled, that sunshine grin that lit up the room, “…Adam was very sorry to miss you today…”

“Count me in!” Tommy bumped knuckles with Sauli and loped back to his car, content with his lot in life.


	18. Chapter 18

Music talk with Brian lasted well into the evening, multiple shots from a bottle of Jack and a Thai takeaway completing the night as they crashed out on sofas in the den, tired but buzzing with a mass of new ideas, all set against the backdrop of watching some mean and moody classic blues on YouTube…

Tommy’s phone buzzing insistently in his pocket, dragged him into the new day and he blinked groggily at the screen before jabbing his finger at _answer._

“Glitterbaby! Where are you? I’ve got Sauli waiting at the stove to make you his trademark buttermilk and honey pancakes…”

“Urrgh!” Tommy yawned widely and sat up “sorry babyboy, overslept at Bri’s! Hang on…” turning his phone to camera, Tommy snapped a quick picture of Brian sprawled half off the sofa, his mouth hanging open. He pressed send and returned the phone to his ear as he stood up and headed towards the bathroom. “Shame you don’t get the full on snoring effect with that picture!” Tommy chuckled. “Can you give me fifteen minutes and I’ll be there…”

“I’m gonna get that printed and stuck up in the dressing room when we do Washington!” Adam laughed. “Okay, you go get pretty and I’m sure I can distract Sauli for a bit!”

_I can imagine a bit of what! Fuckfuckfuck! Yeah, maybe some of that too… Fuck!_

Quick splash in the bathroom and a rapid scribbled note left propped up on the coffee table for Brian when he woke, and Tommy was out of there at a run, rather thanking his lucky stars that he’d avoided a hangover today…

He was home in five minutes and after brushing his teeth, changing into his Denmark Lane t-shirt and his favourite charcoal, butt-hugging skinny jeans, he was back on the road towards Adam’s within another five. This left him a mere five minutes to get across town...

It took him a frustrating extra seven minutes on top of that, but the welcome hug as he was folded into Adam’s arms to lose himself in that wonderful aroma that was simply _Adam_ , made it all worthwhile. Sliding his arms around Adam’s waist, Tommy snuggled closer, burying his face into Adam’s chest as he listened to the steady thud of Adam’s heartbeat.  

Adam chuckled and held him tighter. Tommy’s ribs protested mildly but he ignored them and melted into the embrace. Time stood still for long glorious moments…

“Aww that is a beautiful picture of two best of friends!” Sauli snapped several pictures before joining the hug by wrapping his arms around the pair of them. He squeezed gently and released them. I am ready to cook and the coffee is done…” He slapped Adam’s backside lightly “breakfast bar… _now!_ ”

Releasing his hold, Adam laughed “I think that’s just told us to get our arses into gear if we want those pancakes! C’mon!” He grabbed Tommy’s hand and dragged him into the kitchen. They clambered up onto the stools just as Sauli flipped the first batch of golden coloured pancakes onto a large serving plate.

“Eat!” he grinned “and enjoy!”

Breakfast was a laughter filled affair with good food and lively conversation. As Adam stacked the plates in the dishwasher and tidied the kitchen, Sauli and Tommy relocated to the sitting room to work through his finger exercises. His cleaning done, Adam joined them, dropping down to sit on the floor with his head resting against Sauli’s knee as he watched his boyfriend work his magic on Tommy’s hand.

“What else’s on your agenda today, Glitterbaby?” Adam rubbed his chin across Sauli’s knee, earning himself a loving smile and a brief threading of fingers through his hair as Tommy mimed a few chords.

“Medi Center at eleven, no idea how long that’ll take and a catch up with Alla later on. And I’d better make sure Bri’s still alive at some point! You?”

“We’re grocery shopping and meeting Sauli’s friends at the airport later this afternoon. Other than that we’re just kickin’ back and chillin’…” Adam grinned at his boyfriend “I’m sure we’ll amuse ourselves somehow!”

 _We’re…we’ll…_ those casual words cut deep and Tommy winced, biting his lip to prevent the involuntary whimper bubbling in his stomach from escaping.

“Where does it hurt?”

_Hurt is a fucking understatement…rips me apart babyboy…if only I’d…_

_Fuck, ‘if only’…that’s the path to the dark side…_

_Get a grip Ratliff…_

Sauli’s anxious concern as he continued to massage Tommy’s fingers brought a sudden sting of tears to his eyes and he hid his face behind his hair.

“’m okay, was just a twinge, it’s gone now… I really think they’re getting better…”

Tommy’s hurt melted away as Adam leant over to press a kiss to each of his knuckles, the soft warmth of his breath sending shivers of a different kind eddying through Tommy’s body.

The smile that lit his face remained as Adam moved on to kiss Sauli’s fingers before resuming his previous position with his head resting on Sauli’s knee. “My two beautiful boys…” Adam’s voice resonated contentment and Tommy grinned as both he and Sauli let out identical happy sighs.

_It was gonna be okay…_

“There, you are done!” Sauli squeezed his hand lightly. “How does it feel?”

“Better…much better!” Tommy mimed a chord progression, nodding “I’m definitely getting there…” _in more ways than you can ever appreciate…_

They chatted a bit longer; topics ranging from the lacklustre music execs at RCA, the marriage equality performance at the LA Festival through to the price of vegetables at the supermarket and essential landmarks for Sauli’s friends to visit…it was comfortable and domestic and it was with real regret that Tommy returned his empty coffee mug to the kitchen and said his goodbyes.

After warm hugs from both men, Tommy picked up his keys and headed out, glancing back over his shoulder to see them watching as he waited for the elevator, Adam stood behind Sauli with his arms looped around the tiny Finn’s waist. They looked blissfully happy and his stomach lurched as _happy for them_ wrestled with _that should be me…_

Waving as the elevator doors pinged open, he scurried inside and slumped against the wall. The image burned on his retinas until he was delivered from his brief metal box captivity and he hurried out to his car, replacing the picture with the sight and sensation of Adam’s lips ghosting lightly over his skin…

By the time he arrived at the Medi Center for his appointment he was a grinning mass of sappiness and he didn’t even notice the multitude of interested glances that were thrown his way. Ignoring the world around him he flicked through his phone until his name was called.

Stripping off was embarrassing – but he appreciated it was necessary – and the resultant prodding was far less painful than Tommy had anticipated. The silver-haired medic nodded and indicated his clothes. “You can get dressed again now and then we’ll take a look at that hand.”

Fifteen minutes later, Tommy was skipping out of the building, only barely containing the **_hell fuck yeah!_** that was desperate to escape at full volume after the news that his fingers were responding much faster to the physio and he had the okay to start playing again “but no heavy stuff just yet – stick to scales or easy listening for now!”

Of course he’d agreed…

_Easy fucking listening?_

_Blues, rock, funk, disco…yep, all easy listening to his ears…_

Cranking up the volume on the cd, he grinned as _Shady_ was the next track to play _yeah, I ain’t broken, but I need a fix…so fucking true it was unreal!_ Singing his heart out, he swung the car towards home.

Mike was just leaving for work when Tommy bounded in and flung himself into his bestie’s arms, snuggling close and grinning from ear to ear.

Despite reeling from the impact, Mike held him tightly, settling the blue mop more comfortably under his chin. “What’s lover boy done now?” his tone held nothing but fondness.

“Nothing! Well, other than kiss my knuckles today and hug me like, forever!” Tommy sighed happily “No-one hugs like he does…apart from you!” he added hurriedly, much to Mike’s amusement.  

“So why the fucking hyper bunny?” a frown creased his forehead “you better not’ve been at the weed already today?”

“Fuck no!” Tommy snuggled closer and let out a contented breath. “Doc says I’m healing faster than they thought and I can start playing again…” He wrinkled his nose up “He prescribed some _easy listening_ crap to start off gentle!”

The undisguised disgust brought a chuckle to Mike’s lips and he clamped his mouth shut, attempting a serious tone “why don’t you compromise and just play everything acoustic until you’re ready to go full pelt?”

Tommy squeezed him so hard, Mike was sure a couple of ribs were gonna crack, before he was released and an even more hyper bunny leapt towards his bedroom. “I fucking love you, Playboy…”

“I know! Okay Rockstar, I gotta go! Play careful, okay!”

“Thanks, mom! I will!” Tommy returned the gesture as Mike gave him the finger and they both laughed. Seconds later a chuckling Mike had gone and Tommy had the place to himself.

Settling himself on his bed with his acoustic guitar in his lap, Tommy wiggled his fingers experimentally, took a deep breath and strummed a gentle chord. He steeled himself, ready for the after effects. No pain. Another chord…two…three…

…the opening bars to… _Fever…_ had to be that song…

 ** _“Fuck…hell, yeah_** _”_ his whoop of joy reverberated around the empty apartment and he hauled his phone out of his pocket, pressing #1 on his speedial. It rang into the answering service. Tommy stared at the tech, frowned and redialled. It rang several times before it was answered.

 **“** Yeah, baby…give me a minute…hang on, yeah?” Adam was panting hard, whatever he was doing it was physical… _fuck…oh! This had all the hallmarks of that hotel room in Tokyo …fuckfuckfuck…_

He opened his mouth to say he’d call back, instead curling his good hand into a fist and biting down on his bottom lip so hard he tasted the coppery tang of blood as Adam continued his…activity…down the other end of the line “C’mon Sau…I wanna stop now! You’ve fucking worn me out!”

“Nooo, Ad-am, keep going…nearly there…another minute…push harder…” the Finn paused, sounding similarly breathless “do it for me…”

“Fuck! For you…okay…here we go…” huge gasps followed until a panted “Yes! Yes!” from Sauli was echoed by a very out of breath Adam “ _Fuuuuck! Yes!_ ” There was a scuffling sound and an almost inaudible “Love you, baby…” before Adam was back with him.

“Hey, Tommy you still there?” Adam obviously had stamina, as his breathing was already recovering! “Glitterbaby? Can you hear me?”

 _Oh yeah…did I fucking hear you…fucking…_ Tommy’s insides twisted unhappily and he blinked away the unwelcome sting of tears. _Damn you, Adam fucking Lambert…every time I get my head straight…and there’s that fucking word again…you come along and fuck with it some more…fuck you for not fucking me…_

“I hear you…I _heard_ you!” Tommy’s voice was low, contained…angry…

“I’m so outta fucking shape!” Adam’s light chuckle did nothing for Tommy’s swirling tornado of emotions, dragging him rapidly downwards, so far from his euphoria of just a few short minutes ago. “What possessed me to agree to go running with him? I fucking hate running!”

“Running? You’re fucking _running?_ ” Tommy’s voice shot up an entire octave as relief washed over him. _Running, not…_

“C’mon it’s not _that_ monumental!” Adam sounded hurt and Tommy hastened to remove the giant size ten boots he’d managed to put in his mouth!

“Dude, it’s hotter than sin out there! I thought you’d be hanging by the pool or something! Running takes up way too much energy!” He laughed “Bet you look hot in your little shorts though!”

Adam’s delighted laughter sent a wave of warmth spreading through his veins and the knots in his tummy melted away, leaving him deliciously content. “Baby, you know me, I look hot in anything!”

“You’re a modest fucker!” Tommy teased him gently, happy to be back in their old routine.

“You know it! You love it! Just a sec…” Adam spoke softly to Sauli, the words too quiet for Tommy to hear – not that he wanted to intrude on their conversation…the words he and Brad had heard, suddenly replaying through his head. He filed them away for another time. “I’m back! So what can I do for my beautiful pretty kitty?” The fondness in his voice was unmistakeable. “Let me put you on speaker…”

“Medi Center earlier…” Tommy paused dramatically “I can play again!”

“Fucking awesome, baby! We’re stoked for you, really…you were so brave saving that lady…”

“It’s all down to Sauli’s magic hands and the physio he’s been doing…that’s the official report from the medic. I just wanted to tell you both…” The tears he’d blinked back earlier crashed through the barricades and fell down Tommy’s face. “I’m just so fucking relieved that I can play again…” his voice hitched and he scrubbed at his face with his free hand.

“Sweetheart? You okay?”

“Tommy, what is wrong?”

Adam and Sauli spoke at once, both concerned at the now obvious sobs from Tommy’s end of the line.

Snuffling into his sleeve as he wiped his eyes, Tommy choked and drew in a ragged breath “’m fine…really! ‘m just so relieved…” Fresh tears trickled down his cheeks “I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to play again and I’d have to leave your band and not be with you any more and I’d never see the stuff I’ve seen again and all the new stuff to come would be without me and you’d move on and forget me and…” he ran out of words and slumped in a soggy, emotionally drained heap in the middle of his bed.

“We’re coming over!” A hurried, whispered conversation ensued as Adam organised a way to get back from Runyon canyon where they’d ended their run.

“But…”

“No buts, Tommy Joe! I need to see you’re okay. You’re way too precious to me…and even if you could never play another note, you’ll always be part of me and I’ll never move on without you by my side. Fuck!” There was the sound of sniffing and shaky breaths.

“Now, it is Adam who is crying!” Sauli spoke softly. “You will always be with him…with us, minun ystäväni…we both of us love you very much.”

Tommy took a breath and pushed off his bed, laying his guitar carefully onto the quilt and took himself back into the living room. “’m fine!” He cleared his throat, standing tall as he stared at their painting. “Really, I’m okay now and I’m sorry for having a meltdown. Now I just want to have a go at playing a song or two and then I’m going round to Alla’s as planned where, I’ll probably get completely fucking rat-arsed!”

A soft chuckle filtered through from Adam “Yeah, I remember Alla’s drinking parties! Dayum wench used to drink us all under the fucking table!”

“She still does, Babyboy!”

“Are you sure you don’t want us to come over?” All laughter subdued as Adam spoke quietly. Tommy could almost feel those crystal blue eyes boring into him across virtual space.

“I’m sure…and thank you…both of you…”

“Okay, but we do breakfast again tomorrow…no arguments!”

“Deal! Love you…”

“Love you too. Be bad, Tommy Joe!” Adam’s throaty chuckle cut off as he hung up.

Tommy gazed back at their picture. _You’ll always be part of me…_

 As he replayed Adam’s emotional words, his face lit up with a smile and he took himself back to his room, replaced his guitar in its case and crashed face down onto the bed. He fell asleep with thoughts of Adam filling his head.

It was after four when he finally stirred and he stumbled into the shower, blasting the heat in an attempt to wake himself up. Gentle strokes of his body combined with a continuation of the stream of Adam-inspired images and sensations soon had him panting his release and left him tingling all over.

Revitalised and satisfied, he dressed, brushed his teeth and headed out to Alla’s, via the store en route, to pick up a couple of bottles of wine. He stowed his shopping in the back next to his guitar… It was going to be a good night.

His phone buzzed while he was choosing the wine and he tugged it out to see a text from Brian. It was a casual check-in message suggesting a repeat next week to start creating their own signature sound… Tommy grinned and replied with a simple **fuck, yeah!**

Wine paid for, along with an impulsive purchase of a giant box of caramel hearts, Tommy resumed his journey.

Matt was just starting to cook the steaks when Tommy arrived, accepting the bottles of wine with a grin and a thumbs up, amending the gesture to middle finger as Tommy complimented him on his Muppet-style Swedish chef hat!

Wandering through the house towards the band room, Tommy flexed his fingers carefully, anticipation mounting as the strains of Motown floated out to meet him.

Pushing the door open, he stepped through into a wall of sound, Alla waving without pausing in her vocal as Liz gave it some serious vibe on the bass. Tommy stepped up to the keys and joined in, picking out the beat with a simple repeating chord as they let the music fly.

They jammed happily through a set of back to back tracks - ranging from classic rock favourites to Alla’s and Matt’s new tunes - before Matt called them in to eat.

It was a lively and enjoyable evening, especially when Tommy returned to his car to get his guitar and they played an acoustic _Boulevard of Broken Dreams;_ a song he loved, plus it reminded him of the Glamily’s amazing trip to Japan…

As the final note died away, Tommy couldn’t help the elated “ ** _fuck, yes…feels so fucking good!_** ” yelled at full volume before he reached out and grabbed Liz, hauling her in for a wild kiss that left them both breathless. “I fucking love playing this shit!”

The group of friends fell in for a warm group hug, laughter bouncing off the walls…

It was a contented Tommy who took his leave shortly after, mindful both of his breakfast date at Adam’s and knowing that if he stayed he’d not only drink too much, but he’d want to play more and there was simply too much at stake to risk throwing it away by doing too much too quickly.

Impressed by his own responsible behaviour, Tommy celebrated with a sensual session under the covers, precious memories of Adam’s lips soft against his skin sending him on a slow ride to ecstasy and he fell asleep, sticky and sated as the warmth of the afterglow radiated through him.

He woke before the alarm and limped carefully to the shower, wishing he’d cleaned up before he fell asleep. The steaming water cascading down on him revived him body and soul and thirty minutes later he was bounding down the stairs to his car, ready for the new day…

Breakfast was a quieter affair than the previous morning. After wordless tight hugs, the three were content to enjoy each other’s company without the need for much conversation. Adam left immediately after breakfast for a meeting with his team, followed by a run through for the two songs he was performing at the LA Festival.

Sauli poured them more coffee and the two went up to the roof terrace to do Tommy’s physio in the bright LA sunshine. Tommy closed his eyes and relaxed back into the chair, listening as Sauli talked happily about his cousin and friends who were visiting later that day. “You will meet them tonight. I have told them so much about the guitarist who shares my Adam’s heart…” The words sent a wave of warmth washing over him as Sauli pressed a light kiss to Tommy’s hand. “There, you are done!”

They lingered a while longer, chatting easily about a hundred different things…Tommy appreciating yet again the beauty of the tiny Finn, inside and out, as the sun made his tanned skin gleam against the glow of his blond hair and his perfect smile… _they’re so good together…_

Hugging his friend close, Tommy headed for home, happy with his lot and looking forward to the gang reuniting that evening...  

Brad picked him up at six and they grabbed a quick bite to eat before they headed to the Circus disco to collect their passes. It was already crowded as they made their way to the VIP area at the front left of the stage. Tommy let out a girlie shriek of delight and leapt into Sutan’s open arms as he spied his life partner. “Missed you Vayvee…was so worried about you after your injury…”

Tommy wrapped his legs around Sutan’s slim thighs and clung on tightly. “’m fine…all better now…” he moved his head to whisper in Sutan’s ear “I was kissed better…” Sutan’s answering chuckle and the tightening of his arms brought a grin to Tommy’s face. “I thought you were in New York with RuPaul until tomorrow?” He nuzzled into the other man’s neck before peeling himself off and landing his feet back on the floor.

“We finished filming last night and I begged off the wrap party, hopped on the next plane back...wanted to be here. Didn’t say anything in case it didn’t happen…” He paused and stepped back. “Let me look at you…”

“’m good!” Tommy grinned as he was inspected closely from all angles, Sutan finally professing that he looked shit hot and where the fuck was his drink!

It was a wonderfully wild night, the gang were back together, friends mingling happily as the other acts played through one by one. Sauli finally reappeared from backstage with his guests and the group gathered expectantly as the previous band trooped off.

With no band Adam had suggested he looked a bit lonely, the venue then supplying two female backing singers that were not bad at all and who already knew the songs as fans! It made their night and Adam didn’t feel quite so alone up there. The unmistakeable opening bars of _Trespassing_ had them all clapping along, Adam stopping in front of them to shake his tush.

Tommy murmured into Brad’s ear as Adam and Sauli exchanged kisses blown across the space between them. “With him looking that fucking sexy in that yellow and black leather thing, you wanna bet how long it stays on once he’s finished his set?”

Brad nodded “The trouser bulge is already swelling” They looked at each other and burst out laughing, Tommy dropping an arm around Brad’s shoulders as they watched the man they both loved, strut his stuff across the stage. As _Trespassing_ became _Cuckoo_ they got into the beat and sang along, giggling as they bumped heads… _we’ve gone cuckoo…_

All too soon, Adam was thanking his back up singers and taking his leave of the stage. “I go and find him…” Sauli grinned as Tommy winked and told him to take his time, slipping away elegantly through the crowds to disappear from sight.

“You okay?” Brad’s voice against his ear pulled Tommy back from his musing…

“Yeah, ‘m good!” He looked around at the group of friends…Sutan, Lee, Scarlett, Isaac, Sophie, Cam… “It’s great to have so many of us back together again – even if it is just for one night. I’m so fucking glad I went to that audition!”

They rested their foreheads together, a quiet moment amid the cacophony of sound around them. “Thank you”

Brad grinned, “I don’t know what for, but you’re welcome!” He pressed a kiss on the end of Tommy’s nose. “Dude, we need more alcohol!”

The laughter and chatter continued until Adam and Sauli reappeared some forty minutes later, both with a glazed look in their eyes and kiss swollen lips. Adam let go of Sauli’s hand to drape an arm around Brad’s shoulders one side and Tommy’s the other. He was clearly still high on adrenaline from his performance – both on and _off_ the stage – talking at top speed about everything and nothing.

He was nibbling on Tommy’s neck, sending all sorts of delicious sensations to Tommy’s wayward blood supply, when Bradford wove through the mass of bodies to join them.

Adam’s face lit up “You came!”

“ _Not before_ _he did!_ ” Brad snorted into his drink as Tommy deadpanned, muttering into his ear, Brad turning away as his spluttering was starting to draw attention to the giggling pair.

“Yes, thank you for the invite…and the contract…” he paused “obviously not the place now, but, thank you.”

“Have a drink with us?” Adam waved a hand vaguely at the general throng of people.

“Thanks, I have one…it’s Tommy I really came to see…”

They swung around to see Tommy and Brad laughing hysterically at something, clutching at each other helplessly.

“He looks well!”

“He’s great! He just got the all clear to start playing again. His fingers are recovering quicker than expected so, yeah, he’s good!”

Suddenly aware of eyes boring into his back, Tommy looked up to see Bradford smiling at him and Adam wearing that same hot and hungry, possessive expression of the other day. He clung tighter onto Brad’s body as he forced a grin.

“Good to see you Bradford!” he untangled himself from Brad’s embrace and grabbed his hand. “Cheeks, come and meet Bradford!”

“Another Brad?”

“No, _he’s_ Bradford, _you’re_ the only Brad around here!” Tommy flashed him a smile and they joined Adam in a few short steps.

After introductions, Bradford leant forward “Have you got a minute?”

Tommy’s eyebrows arched “Me?” he looked so surprised Bradford chuckled, his usual serious controlled demeanour slipping at the incredulous look of amazement on Tommy’s face.

“Yeah, won’t be long…”

“It’s cool, dude, lead on…” Tommy turned back to Adam and Brad “be back in a bit…and then we goin’ for dinner, yeah? ‘m starving!”

“Dinner as soon as you’re back!” Adam nodded as Tommy followed Bradford away to the quiet bar at the far end of the club.

Motioning Tommy to a chair, Bradford dropped into one beside him.

He grinned at Tommy’s wary expression, sliding a hand to the inside pocket of his jacket to pull out an envelope.

“Sorry for all the cloak and dagger stuff back there, I didn’t want to be shouting this out against all that noise…” He held the envelope out. “Sorry it’s opened, but as you can see it was addressed to me so I had no idea…anyway, just read and let me know what you want to do…”

Taking the cream coloured envelope, Tommy flipped open the flap and tugged out the folded paper inside. A smaller piece of paper enclosed, fluttered down onto the low table. After noting it hadn’t fallen to the floor, Tommy ignored it for a moment to concentrate on the letter.

He read it twice before looking back up at Bradford. “What the fuck?”

Bradford shrugged. “What do you think?”

Tommy slumped down into the chair and stared at the letter once more.

“Fuck!”


	19. Chapter 19

“I mean…when…why?” Tommy mumbled, glancing back at the letter in case the words had suddenly rearranged themselves, before reaching to pick up the other piece of paper. “Fuck!”

Bradford grinned faintly, seemingly unperturbed by Tommy’s lack of non-vernacular vocabulary. “I think I’d be the same, if it helps!”

Tommy met his gaze “What would _you_ do?”

“Let me answer that with a question; were you planning to sue?”

“Eh? No! Thought never even occurred to me!”

“If you go back there, would you sully their name by talking to the press about it?”

“Nope, again, wouldn’t even think about it! It’s done…finished…”

“Then I’d sign on the dotted line with a fucking huge grin on my face!” Bradford let out a huge bellow of laughter and dug out a pen, offering it to a stunned Tommy.

With a final scrutiny of the letter, he bent over the unexpected bombshell, pen poised to sign. “Oh, I need a witness!”

“What am I – the invisible fucking pixie!”

Tommy threw back his head and laughed. “No, but you are a wolf in sheep’s clothing! All that organised and proper stuff…nah, I’ve got the measure of you now and, behind those prim, unwrinkled suits, beats the wild heart of a rocker!”

“You got me!” Bradford leant back in his chair “Hendrix, Heart, Metallica, Queen…Bowie…”

“Dude, you are so busted! You play?”

Bradford shook his head “Always wanted to but never got around to it – too many business exams and accountancy crap to study for…”

Tommy looked thoughtful “You’re back with us soon, right?”

If the other man was surprised by the change in direction he didn’t let on, merely nodding “the twentieth, in time for the Washington gig, then I’m with Adam when he goes to China…”

Tommy’s face lit up with a huge grin “You’re gonna fucking love this! We keep this conversation between us…your ‘coming out’ I mean! ‘m gonna teach you one of the songs and when you’re ready, I’ll give you a guitar and you can join in like it’s spur of the moment. It’ll blow their fucking minds!” Tommy’s wicked chuckle was infectious and the pair of them snickered for long minutes. Plans for world domination had nothing on this!

“Dude, you’re on! Now sign this thing and let’s get back to the party!”

Taking a deep breath, Tommy signed his name and added the date, passing the pen to Bradford who signed as the required witness. Deed done, he folded the letter and tucked it back into his pocket. Tommy stared at the other paper for a final time before slipping it into the envelope and folding it into his jeans pocket.

They shook hands solemnly before standing up. Tommy grinned “C’mon rock dude, let’s go eat, ‘m starving!”

When they rejoined the others, their numbers had swelled with the addition of Terrance, Brooke, Sasha and Johnny who threw themselves collectively on Tommy and hugged him to a pulp. Brooke tugged lightly on his hair “Loving the blue, T-bone…” she held out her hand “c’mon you can be my escort to this dinner thing Adam’s arranging and you can tell me what you’ve been up to…including brave rescues of fair maidens in distress!”

Stepping back, Tommy bowed stiffly “It would be my honour mi’lady…” He crooked his elbow, grinning as she dropped a curtsey and slid her arm through his.

Rick waved as they got closer to the central mass of bodies. “No lovely Ashleigh tonight?” he sounded disappointed.

Remembering they still hadn’t owned up to the wind-up, Tommy shook his head sadly “she’s left me all home alone whilst she’s in Chicago rockin’ bass with Maximum Hedrum, so Ms Wendell here has gallantly offered to grace my arm this evening…” He reached up on tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to Brooke’s cheek.

Rick grinned “you’re a one for the pretty ladies!” he sounded awed.

Brooke giggled and offered her other arm “a lady can always have two escorts!”

The three of them stood and watched the melee around Adam in the centre. He was on his phone, grinning and waving his free hand around as he talked excitedly to whoever was on the other end of the line.

Suddenly spying Tommy, he pushed through the crowd and tugged him in for a one armed hug, still talking at top speed into his phone. “No, we’re all here now…’bout thirty I think…do a bit of everything? Yeah, tacos, chilli, pickles, beans, sides…the lot. Thanks, we’ll be there in ten.” He hung up and dropped a chaste kiss to Tommy’s lips. “Benito’s putting us up in his function room upstairs, seeing as how our group has now outgrown his restaurant space!”

Tommy’s happy grin widened “We’re going to Benito’s? Like _taco amazing Benito’s_?”

“We are! I thought you’d like that!” He leant closer, lips brushing Tommy’s ear as he lowered his voice as much as was possible against the backdrop of a two hundred decibel party crowd. “You okay?” he nodded towards Bradford who was now talking to Sauli’s cousin, Pia, about LA landmarks.

“’m good. I’ll fill you in tomorrow? It was only some court paperwork follow-up to that thug and his conviction…all done now.” Tommy’s stomach twisted at the thought of lying to Adam but until he’d gotten his own head around the whole thing…” It was worth it for the look of relief on Adam’s face.

They left the Disco and hit the sidewalk in a mass crowd for the short walk down Sante Monica Boulevard to the best Mexican restaurant in the whole of LA…well in Tommy’s opinion it beat the rest hands down. After shouting their hello’s to Benito himself as they passed the kitchen, they bounded up the stairs and the party continued from where it left off at the club.

Tommy had indulged his absolute adoration of the taco specials, rubbing his full tummy contentedly as he took another slug of his beer. He snuggled closer to Sutan on the sofa, resting his head heavily on his life partner’s shoulder with a happy sigh.

Sutan laughed fondly and wrapped an arm around him, settling him more comfortably as Tommy’s eyes closed. Despite the noise around them he drifted into sleep.

Numerous awwws and photos later, Sutan stirred him awake. The group had now dwindled to just Adam, Brad, Sutan and Tommy. Rubbing his eyes, Tommy sat up from Sutan’s lap where he’d obviously wriggled in his sleep and looked around. “Where’s everyone gone? I only had my eyes shut for ten minutes!”

“Vayvee, you’ve been asleep for two hours! Everyone’s gone home and Benito’s waiting to lock up!” Sutan stroked a gentle finger over Tommy’s cheek “they got some great snaps though!”

“Oh fuck! I better not be fucking drooling?” He dragged his fingers through his sleep-mussed hair.

“You look like a gorgeous, cute blue angel!” Brad leant down to press a soft kiss Tommy’s mouth, well aware of Adam’s fierce gaze fixed on his back. “Okay, hon, I gotta run now but we’ll do dinner next week like we said…”

As Tommy nodded, Brad ignored the questioning look in Adam’s eyes, pulled him in for a brief hug and took off, passing Sauli on the stairs, on his way back from walking his family back to their hotel.

They shrugged into their jackets and headed back to the parking lot behind the Disco to retrieve their cars.

Another round of hugs and they split. Tommy cried off breakfast with Adam, telling him he’d arranged to go home with Sutan and they’d catch up in a couple of days. His butterflies stirred hopefully at the look of disappointment on Adam’s face.

Sutan draped an arm over Tommy’s shoulders and they watched as Adam and Sauli drove away.

“Now Vayvee, you going to tell me what all that was about?”

“Can we go home first.” Tommy heaved a deep sigh “we’re gonna need a bottle of Jack…”

Twenty minutes later they were curled up on the sofa in Raja’s den, surrounded by all the familiar and comforting paraphernalia of Sutan’s feisty alter ego. They’d changed into baggy t-shirts and sleep pants – it said something of their relationship that Tommy had his own shelf in Sutan’s closet – and both had a large measure of the smoky amber coloured liquid in heavy glasses on the low table in front of them.

“Time to unload that lead overcoat resting on your shoulders, Vayvee…” Sutan threaded his fingers softly through Tommy’s hair, reassuring and encouraging.

Tommy handed over the envelope wordlessly, watching as Sutan tugged out the enclosure.

“Fuck!”

“Yeah… _fuck_ just about covers it!”

 “So, please explain why you have a cashier’s cheque for twenty five thousand dollars…”

“ _Australian_ dollars so it’s about twenty three thousand five hundred in US…”

“Whatever!”

“Bradford gave it to me tonight. He had a letter from the Australian consulate offering me this as full and final compensation for my injuries. It  turns out that thug was a fucking escaped prisoner on the run and they were worried I’d sue and take it to the press – apparently the crowd outside the hospital suggested I should and it scared the crap outta the authorities!”

“Fuck, Vayvee…”

Tommy grinned and reached for his glass, offering a toast. They clinked glasses “You fucking said it, boo!”

Tommy resettled back into Sutan’s embrace, snuggled under his arm, head resting on the other man’s chest with his legs curled up under him. It felt good to have shared the latest twist in his convoluted life…

“So, what are you going to do with it?”

“No fucking idea yet!” Tommy nuzzled into Sutan’s chest. “Does my lady Raja need a pretty new frock?”

“Aww, baby, that’s so sweet and Raja loves you for the offer, but she has all the pretties she needs for now. She would be much happier if you spent it on yourself…maybe a new car or a deposit on your own apartment?”

“Dunno…really, all too fucking much to take in right now!” He yawned loudly “I’ll think about it tomorrow…”

They downed the rest of their drinks and cuddled up in Sutan’s bed, any further conversation unavoidably postponed until the morning.

The next two days passed in a daze as far as Tommy was concerned. He had breakfast with Sutan, some gentle jammin’ with Alla, Matt and Liz – not quite _easy listening_ but as Mike had so cleverly suggested, acoustic was pretty damn near!

With Adam tied up in tedious meetings with various different people at his label and spending time with Sauli and his family when he wasn’t gritting his teeth and plastering a false smile on for the music execs who seemed to have no fucking idea about the world beyond their ivory towers, Tommy still hadn’t had a chance to tell him the truth…

Not that he knew what words he’d use…

Tommy did lunch with Sauli, Pia, Sven and their two kids, splashing happily in the pool on the rooftop terrace. Sauli gave Tommy’s fingers another physio session, noting that they were now almost as flexible as his own. Tommy’s jubilant smile said it all and he hauled Sauli out of the lounging chair and into a hug, the pair of them landing in the pool with a massive splash as eight year old Onni decided that serious adult time was over and gave them a shove… _playtime was in!_

The only thing he’d decided was to buy himself a new guitar, spending some serious time on-line studying the latest specs… However, even that little plan didn’t work out when he rang them, after confirming that, _yes_ , he was the same Tommy Joe Ratliff who played with Adam Lambert… _please hold…fuck! I only want to spend some money on a new fucking Fender!_ He noted vaguely that they at least had some decent Hendrix as their ‘on hold’ music…

When he was put through, Tommy was somewhat gobsmacked to be talking to the executive director who thanked him for calling and explained they’d be more than happy to send him three new Fenders, of his choice, courtesy of the board…if he’d consider himself sponsored by the company… _Fuck!_

A tiny part of Tommy’s brain acknowledged that he was wearing that one particular word out but really…with the way his life was riding that rollercoaster… _fuck…_

So, with not one, but _three_ new guitars chosen and en route in the next day or two, Tommy was once again contemplating what to do with his unexpected windfall.

So far his attempts to spend had not been very successful, only managing to take Mike and Tanya out for dinner at their favourite restaurant as he shared the news and suggested it might be time to get out from under their feet…

Mike’s reaction had been pretty much text book Mike “Fuck!” the only word he’d managed to splutter before shaking his head insistently as his brain dredged for something a little more useful! “Stay, please, fucker! You’re my bestie!” being the best he could manage; the fierce stare and the gleam of uncharacteristic tears being enough to sway Tommy who didn’t actually want to move out anyway.

A toast to their friendship and that was…well, that… _fuck!_

After an enjoyable evening, Tommy got home to find the answer-phone flashing on their rarely used landline and a dozen missed calls from Adam on his mobile he’d left plugged into the wall. Mike was in the kitchen making coffee and from the last glance Tommy had thrown through the open doorway, it could take as while as Mike had Tanya pressed up against the fridge and they were only too clearly not that invested in brewing coffee!

Chuckling to himself, Tommy pressed play on the answer machine “Tommy…please, I need you…” Adam’s broken whisper had Tommy diving for his keys and grabbing his jacket as he left the apartment at a run.

He played the messages on his mobile as he flew down the stairs and out to his car. They were all the same; a heart rending broken plea for Tommy to call him, the final one begging forgiveness if Adam had somehow managed to upset him…”

With his phone pressed to his ear as he reversed out of the garage, Tommy left a message on Adam’s phone… “on my way babyboy…”

As he broke the speed limit all the way, Tommy wondered briefly where Sauli was…

Adam was waiting for him at the door, flinging himself into Tommy’s arms with a huge sob as he buried his face into Tommy’s neck and dripped tears down the inside of his t-shirt.

Wrapping his arms around Adam tightly, Tommy manoeuvred them backwards until they were in the entrance hall and he could shut the door. The apartment was in darkness aside from the light gleaming through the French doors that led out to garden terrace. Adam had still said nothing and was now snuffling quietly, his fingers curled tightly, one in Tommy’s hair and the other in his shirt.

Tommy steered them into the living space and eased them down onto the sofa, Adam immediately crawling into his lap. Despite the closeness and his senses freefalling into oblivion at the overwhelming effects of everything _Adam_ , Tommy couldn’t help the myriad of dreadful scenarios running through his head as he sought some clues as to the reason for Adam’s distress.

Stroking his hand softly through Adam’s hair, he rocked them gently, whispering words of love and nonsense until Adam’s breathing had calmed and he’d relaxed the death grip he had on Tommy’s t-shirt.

“Thank you…” the fragile whisper tore at Tommy’s heart. Adam sounded completely broken. _Where the fuck is Sauli? What if…_ The conversation he and Brad had overheard charged unbidden into his mind and he clamped down on the sudden rush of adrenaline as his butterflies soared hopefully…

“What is it, babyboy? ‘m sorry I took so long…”

Adam mumbled into Tommy’s neck, the words mostly unintelligible but he did catch _Trespassing…_ It didn’t make any sense at all. Loosening his hold, Tommy tipped Adam’s face up to his own and brushed the tears away with his thumbs. “Sshhh s’ok, whatever it is, we can make it right…”

Adam’s eyes filled with fresh tears “ _Trespassing_ was announced today as the next single.” He took a shaky breath in and nodded as Tommy’s eyebrows rose. “They haven’t promoted it, it’s not getting any airplay on any fucking radio station and…” he spluttered as another sob wrestled to escape “they’ve pulled the music video shoot as the crappy lyric one they did with that fucking stupid taxi didn’t get enough hits to justify the cost of the next one…”

Tommy folded the distraught man he loved more than life, back into a tight embrace as the tears spilled down Adam’s face “they’re killing my music…no promo, no interviews, nothing…it’s like it doesn’t exist and they won’t even listen to any arguments… I might as well give up now 'cos there's no fucking way they'll let me tour…”

The dam well and truly broken now, Adam relapsed into body shaking sobs as Tommy rocked them gently once more.

And then the idea hit him…


	20. Chapter 20

Tommy stopped mid-rock and pushed Adam back gently, cupping his face, before pressing a soft kiss to his mouth. “I’ve got an idea…” Tommy paused as he formulated his plan, brown eyes gleaming as excitement bubbled in his belly. “Dry your eyes Babyboy… _we’re gonna shove their lack of faith so far up their arses, they’ll be gagging on it!”_

Adam gazed red, swollen eyes at his determined guitarist…his best friend… _his best friend he loved…_ “How? They’re talking cover albums and some other fucked up shit…no matter what I do, they don’t believe in me…”

Tommy’s heart broke at the despair in Adam’s voice and he hugged him briefly, pushed him off his lap and led him to the bathroom. He bathed Adam’s eyes carefully before pointing at Adam’s dejected reflection in the mirror. “ _That_ is not you _!_ ” He wrapped his arms around Adam’s waist and squeezed hard, hard enough to make Adam gasp in protest.

“Better!” He squeezed again, tighter still, holding the painful pressure longer.

Adam squirmed uncomfortably in the over-tight embrace, resisting.

Releasing his hold momentarily, Tommy immediately reapplied the grip, this time adding a vicious pinch-twist of the tender flesh on Adam’s side.

“ ** _What the fuck?_** ” Adam wrenched himself away and glared at Tommy, heated frustration driving away the hopeless and lost expression of moments earlier.

Tommy grinned “Now, _that’s_ you!” He reached out to stroke Adam’s face softly. “Sorry I had to hurt you, babyboy, but I needed the kickass Adam Mitchel Lambert that I love, back…” He spluttered, suddenly realising he’d spilled a little too much, hurriedly continuing “and I _really_ love the feisty, _don’t-tell-me-the-fuck-no,_ Adam…” He tapped Adam’s nose playfully “Nice to have that _Trespassing_ spirit back! Now, c’mon fucker, we need coffee and then we got work to do!”

Adam reached out and hauled Tommy in for a fierce hug, tipping his face up to kiss him fondly. “I love you, my Tommy Joe!”

His happy smile pressed close into Adam’s chest, Tommy allowed himself a few brief moments of blissful _Adam_ before pulling away “You too, babyboy, now _shift!_ ”

His grin wide, Adam snapped to attention and saluted “Yessir!”

Tommy quashed the immediate rerouting of his entire blood supply at the sudden, enticing image of Adam stood to attention…naked… _fuck!_

Hastily adjusting his jeans, Tommy followed Adam to the kitchen where they made coffee, taking it through to the dining room to sit at the table. Tommy opened Adam’s laptop. “Okay, some questions first, then we plan…

The buzzing of Adam’s phone interrupted proceedings, Adam flashing the screen to show Tommy it was Sauli as he pressed answer. “Hey baby…”

“Adam…you are still awake?”

Adam’s throaty chuckle did delightful things to Tommy’s nether regions and he concentrated on sipping his coffee as he tapped a finger thoughtfully on the side of the laptop and blocked out the playful conversation going on beside him until he caught his name and he glanced up.

“Gonna put you on speaker, Tommy’s here…” another low chuckle reawakened the heated corpuscle charge southwards, prompting an overly casual readjustment to Tommy’s trousers which Adam didn’t appear to have noticed, as he continued “…no, we’re working! Band stuff…”

“Do not let him work you too hard, minun ystäväni! You will like my new pillow, when you are done…”

Tommy turned a bemused gaze on Adam who was shaking his head emphatically. “That pillow is like resting your head on a fucking rock!” He grinned at Tommy “Sauli’s got one of these spine alignment support pillows that he insists is good for him. It’s the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever tried!”

“It is a good… _Uncle Adam, please tell Uncle Sauli to stop talking about his pillow and let me have the phone!_ ” Onni’s voice cut through the pillow debate and the collective adults laughed.

“Okay, little man, you have the stage!” Adam and Tommy grinned as the eight year old launched into a full review of the Lion King he’d just seen on Broadway, concluding with an impassioned “ _Thank you, thank you, for the tickets, Uncle Adam, you’re the coolest uncle ever!_ ”  

“Aww, you’re welcome, champ! I’m glad you enjoyed it! Now put Sauli back on, please.”

Tommy kept his smile fixed firmly in place, calling on the extremes of his self control, as Adam and Sauli exchanged good nights and I love you’s… _he’s happy…so I’m happy…_ suddenly realising that Adam hadn’t mentioned anything about his new single or near meltdown… _maybe he didn’t want to say anything in front of the kids…or…_

Adam’s gentle nudge brought him back to reality as Sauli wished him a good evening and repeated his suggestion to try his new pillow… _so I’m staying the night…_

He drifted back into the murky world of ifs and maybes…

“Hey!” Tommy jumped as Adam clicked his fingers behind Tommy’s ear “you still with me, Glitterbaby?” _always babyboy…always…_     

“Yeah, um…” Tommy looked at the computer screen. “Why didn’t you tell him about RCA?” The question burst out, sounding far more abrupt than he’d intended.

Adam stared at his fingernails “He doesn’t understand how it works…how much it changes things out there, in the harsh reality of the music world…” He reached for Tommy’s hand, entwining their fingers “When I complain about their lack of vision or the frustration from some of the interminable meetings they insist on having, which always result in less support than ever before…he just shrugs and tells me to change companies or live with it…” Adam’s voice dropped to a whisper “I love him so much, but he just doesn’t get this…doesn’t get how it affects me, affects my music… _not like you do…_ ”

Tommy’ pathetic butterflies went into spirals of delight… _not like you do…this was theirs…just them…_

Adam squeezed his hand, looking up with a subdued smile that didn’t quite make it to his eyes. “Am I being childish?”

“Fuck, no! This is shit, all the promises they made that they’re not sticking to, and I bet they’ve got a clause in their contract that means they can fucking change the rules when they want to and you can’t do a fucking thing about it…”

A light flared in Adam’s eyes and he nodded “…subject to amendment according to market conditions… They don’t have the balls to tell the radio stations to play me and the radio stations don’t want to be seen to be playing music by an openly _gay_ artist in case it upsets their middle class, tiny-minded mass audience…” Tears of frustration sparkled “Since when was music _gay?_ It’s either a good song or a bad song…where the fuck does what I do in my bedroom come into it?” he added bitterly. “They hate it because I refuse to compromise on my identity…my integrity is more important to me than their petty prejudice… _Fuck_ , Tommy, how are we gonna sort this?” He slumped despondently in his chair.

Tommy tapped one-handed on the keyboard and turned the screen towards Adam. “This is where your power lies…” Adam gazed at his twitter profile as Tommy circled the cursor over the number of followers “You’ve got a massive army of loyal fans out there who will rip the world to shreds to support you…” He pressed a soft kiss to Adam’s hand. We’re going to stoke the fires and show those impotent suits just what Glambert-power can do!”

Reclaiming his other hand, Tommy typed quickly and pressed send. Within seconds, the tweet had been re-tweeted over a hundred times; _#Trespassing #newsingle #Stoked #competition #StayTuned #LoveMyGlamberts_ _@TommyJoeRatliff_

Tugging out his phone, he logged on to his own twitter and re-tweeted, then added his own new tweet _Wanna win one of my guitars? Signed by Adam & the band. Keep watching for how to enter #Trespassing #Win @AdamLambert_

Adam’s eyes widened “I can’t let you do that…your guitars are your babies!”

“Got me some new babies coming, courtesy of Fender! I tried to buy one but they insisted on giving it to me, along with two others!” He grinned sheepishly “Also had a bit of a windfall…got some compo for my hand from the Australian authorities. ‘m gonna stir up a frenzy with some cool prizes. All they gotta do to enter is download _Trespassing_ and it’ll be a free download for the first forty eight hours ‘cos ‘m gonna gift it…”

“But…”

“No buts! Wanna get that tune to the top o’ the charts and screw those pricks over at RCA…Your music should be out there, at the top where it belongs… ”

“I…” Adam’s eyes filled with tears “You’d do that for me?” He tugged Tommy in for a hug that drove the breath from his lungs, peppering his face with tiny kisses, finally capturing his lips in one of the sweetest kisses they’d ever shared. “When did I get so fucking lucky? I don’t know what I’d do without you, Tommy Joe…”

Tommy’s senses were swooning from immersion in everything _Adam_ and he let himself go, twisting his hands in Adam’s t-shirt until Adam released him, weak kneed and breathless.

 _You had me from that first day…gonna stay for eternity…_ Tommy twisted the bracelet on his wrist.

“C’mon, we need to work out the details…you can do a meet ‘n’ greet for prize winners if you want, or we can get Lee to do a special photoshoot…” Tommy grinned “This is gonna be fun, Babyboy…

It was three in the morning by the time they’d worked out a base plan. Entry to the competition would be via downloading the track. All entries had equal chance of the top prize; domestic US and international, provided the track was offered in their country. The winner would also get a prize goodie bag that consisted of two limited edition, black and white Lee Cherry original, numbered prints, a TJR guitar pic, an autographed copy of the sheet music for _Trespassing_ and an Adam Lambert wristband. Ten runners up would get a goodie bag, another twenty five would get a Lee Cherry print and a hundred would get wristbands.

There were still plenty of details to sort out, but the outline was set. Hand in hand they headed off to bed, abandoning Sauli’s pillow in favour of traditional feathers as they snuggled up together. Tommy’s lips curved into a contented smile… _right here, right now…he’s mine…_ his tiny huff of pleasure bringing a matching smile to Adam’s face as he curled an arm around Tommy’s waist and tugged him closer, before sleep swiftly claimed them.

Later that morning saw them at a working breakfast; phones pressed to ears, fingers tapping on keyboards, sipping coffee and munching on toast as they multi-tasked their way down a list of contacts to start putting their plan into action.

Tommy drained the last of his coffee and slid off his stool to refill both their mugs, stretching from side to side to work out the crick in his neck after hunching over the laptop. He waited until Adam had finished his call to Lee and they took their refreshed drinks out onto the roof terrace to swap notes.

Tommy dropped onto a lounging chair “Sloane says that _you_ can’t do this in case they try and claim you’re operating outside the realm of your contract, but there’s nothing they can do if **_I_** run it because they don’t own my arse or anything I do! I work for you so _you_ own my arse! _My arse, my heart…all of me…_ He suggests we run it past Bradford as he’ll be the one getting the grief if there is any…” he nodded as Adam confirmed Bradford’s support “he also says that if we need anything, just to call and he’ll do it, oh and…and I quote ‘enjoy sticking it to those moronic fuckers who wouldn’t know good music if it fell on them’”

Tommy held his mug out and they clunked them together in a toast “To Operation _Trespassing_!”

“I thought we were calling it ‘Screw the fuckers at RCA!” Adam pouted as Tommy shook his head, grinning.

“Uh no! It might sound better but too risky to put on competition emails!” He gazed out over the city. “When’s Sauli back?”

“Tomorrow afternoon, and then Pia and the kids fly home the day after… It’s been a…” Adam’s phone rang, cutting him off mid-stream “Hi, mom…yeah, lunch is still good…”

Tommy pushed out of his lounge chair and strolled around the garden, not wanting to intrude on Adam’s conversation. Stopping at the other end, he leant on the railings and went over their plans in minute detail.

Adam’s arms sliding around his waist brought him back to the here and now and he leant into the warmth of Adam’s body. “I told mom what we’re doing and she thinks it’s a brilliant idea. She wants to help if she can. Can I tempt you to join us for lunch…” he paused, breath ghosting over the sensitive skin behind Tommy’s ear in a way that sent shivers of desire down his spine “we can do Hard Rock Café…” Adam nipped the tip of Tommy’s ear sharply and flicked his tongue out to lick the hurt away. “Please say you’ll come…”

_You keep that up and it’ll be in my pants any second now…_

“Yeah, ‘course, babyboy!” Tommy managed to gasp out, desperately trying to resist the urge to grind his arse back against Adam’s crotch. Adam, damn him, laughed, in that low throaty growl of his that just added to the fire burning hotly in Tommy’s belly. He bit down on his lip and concentrated on breathing slowly… _in…out…in…fuck it…_ those were most definitely not the fucking words to be thinking in his present state… _pun most definitely intended…fuck!_

He was saved by Adam’s phone ringing again, a swift press of Adam’s lips to his temple and the heat of his body was removed as he pressed answer “Sutan…or is it my favourite queen, the Lady Raja?”

Tommy smothered a whimper as Adam moved away, the loss of that beautiful body pressed up close against his own, both delicious and tortuous at the same time. Gripping hold of the railings for support, he wrestled his desire and emotions back towards their box… His own phone buzzed and he leapt eagerly on the distraction “Yeah?”

“TJ…you free for lunch today?” Liz purred seductively down the phone “I thought we could spend the afternoon together…talking…playing…” she paused, her meaning clear.

“Oh! No, sorry, Liz, I’m…”

“Let me guess – with _Adam_ fucking Lambert” seductive was replaced with a bitter, accusing tone. As a passion killer, it had the desired effect and normal service was swiftly resumed in corpuscle control.

“Yes, I am, and it’s work! Even if it wasn’t…” Tommy’s temper rose and he breathed deeply, determined not to get into a battle of words over the phone.

“Why do you always put me second after him? It’s not a good way to treat your girlfriend…”

“We’re not…”

“Just think yourself lucky I’m so understanding. Call me TJ, and don’t leave it too long!”

Before Tommy could reply she’d cut the call, leaving him opening and closing his mouth like a friggin’ goldfish.

“You okay, baby?” Adam was back, concern on his lovely freckled face. “Bad news?”

“Nah, just Liz…hissy fit!” Tommy rolled his eyes.

“Ah, say no more! So pleased I don’t have women’s moods to deal with!” Adam ruffled Tommy’s hair, tugging it lightly before moving his hand to rest on Tommy’s shoulder. “Sutan’s going to host a _Trespassing_ themed party at the club on release day; everything will be black and yellow and he’s asked Benny Benassi and Zak Waters to work their magic on the track with remixes…I _love_ that he’s in with those guys!”

They moved back inside and updated their file on who was doing what, answering several emails and messages of support from their group of friends. Updates done, Tommy headed for home for a shower and clothes change before their lunch date with Leila.

After a slow, sensual build to an explosive climax as the steaming water cascaded down onto his trembling body, Tommy flopped, wet and naked, onto his bed for long blissed-out minutes as he re-lived his favourite moments of _Adam-time…_

His phone beeped on the bedside cabinet and he rolled over lazily to check it. **Stay where you are, am coming to get you!**  

Tommy grinned and thumbed a reply, pressing send before he could change his mind. **Am guessing I need to put some clothes on then! LOL**

**Don’t tease me Glitterbaby – remember I have a key…**

**Haha do your worst babyboy!**

**Did I mention I’m already outside?** The sound of a key in the lock had Tommy scrambling off his bed and he was stood in the middle of his floor when Adam appeared in the open doorway.

Their eyes met, that same electricity charging the airspace between them as it had so many times before. Adam’s gaze took in the milky white skin, now almost healed from its vicious battering with just a few lingering patches of fading yellow and purple bruising, in contrast to the vivid colouring of his horror tat sleeve...

Neither moved for long moments.

A door slamming somewhere outside broke the spell and Adam dropped his gaze, pausing before he turned away “I don’t tell you often enough, but you’re beautiful, Tommy Joe, so beautiful…”

Tommy gazed at the empty space where Adam had been, his mind whirring. He dressed quickly, choosing his Queen top and black jeans that sank low on his skinny hips, finished off with his wedge heeled boots for a tiny bit of height. A blast of the hairdryer, a swift outline of kohl on his eyes and a light gloss on his lips and he was ready, joining Adam who was sat scrolling idly through his phone.

“As I said…beautiful!”

Tommy’s cheeks flushed and he grinned with uncharacteristic shyness, taking Adam’s outstretched hand as they left the apartment.

Lunch was a most enjoyable event. Leila hugged him tightly and said it had been way too long…turning a meaningful glance towards her eldest son. Sinking into the warm embrace – so like her son in the way her arms enveloped him and held him close – Tommy mumbled his apologies and hugged back. Greetings complete, they turned their attention to the menu.

It was a full and contented Tommy who was dropped off outside his apartment block just before five. With a couple of hours before Bradford was due for his first guitar lesson, Tommy set his alarm and crashed out on his bed, asleep in moments with happy thoughts and a smile on his lips.

The next week was busy beyond belief. Tommy fielded phone calls, emails and juggled guitar lessons, his own gentle acoustic play – some with Alla and the others, some alone - as he built up that stamina and flexibility once more. He had dinner with Brad, lunch with Adam, Sauli and his family before they returned home to Finland, coffee with Isaac and another music session with Brian.

He squeezed in time to watch live coverage of the red carpet at Fashion week, where a beaming Leila accompanied drop-fucking-dead-gorgeous Adam and Sauli in black tuxes. Tommy’s heart lurched momentarily as the camera zoomed in on their entwined hands, the commentator making much of the simple demonstration of togetherness… As they were replaced by the next celebrity on the carpet, Tommy sighed wistfully and pressed the standby button, acknowledging how happy Adam had been with his hand clasped tightly around that of his tiny Finnish boyfriend… _he’s happy in love so I’m happy for him…for them…_

With no time to sit and brood, he sorted out his newest Fender and checked the tuning, before playing his way through _Shady_ and _Kickin’ In_. He’d just started on _Pop that Lock_ when Bradford arrived, clad in tattered denim and a Pink Floyd t-shirt and looking a million miles away from the Bradford they knew! They grabbed a coffee and sat down to go over the sheet music that Tommy’d given him for his homework.

There was much laughter and some serious work for the next ninety minutes where Bradford demonstrated just how much practice he’d put in since their last session and Tommy was impressed with the basic chord progressions, moving the pace on faster to match Bradford’s obvious enthusiasm.

Breathless and grinning like a pair of Cheshire cats, they stowed their guitars and dropped onto the sofa.

“Pretty good for a virgin!” Tommy shoved Bradford’s shoulder playfully.

Bradford responded with a single fingered gesture and his tongue stuck out.

“I should give you detention for cheeking the teacher!” Tommy chuckled as Bradford nodded hopefully. “You did good, dude! So, what song do you wanna play?”

“I’d like to do two; one slow, one fast… _Whataya want from me_ and _Shady_ if you think I could crack them…”

“Good choices…and no reason why you can’t whip them into shape with enough practice…” he glanced up, grinning “So what are you waiting for?”

Bradford leapt up and reached for his adopted guitar…


	21. Chapter 21

With preparations well underway for the imminent release of _Trespassing_ , Tommy found himself stretched out on Adam’s sofa three days before their performance at the Marylanders fundraiser for Marriage equality in Washington, listening to Adam rehearsing his mini speech for _Outlaws of Love…_

“Dude, you hit it right on target…”

“I asked him…”

Tommy’s heart stopped momentarily _fuckfuckfuck this is it…_ “You asked Sauli to…”

“I didn’t get that far…” Tommy sat up as Adam dropped down heavily beside him “I asked him what he thought of my speech. He said we don’t need marriage to prove we love each other…” Adam shook his head at Tommy’s raised eyebrows “he wasn’t talking about _us_ specifically, he meant the whole marriage equality debate. He supports it because he supports _me_ …but actually, he doesn’t see the point of the fight…it’s not…I don’t…” Adam’s voice trailed off and he shrugged helplessly.

_Oh fuck! No proposal…_

His thoughts in turmoil, Tommy’s reactions were from the heart…Adam was hurting…

Opening his arms, his senses were flooded with everything _Adam_ as the man he loved crawled into his lap and pressed in close. Tommy held him tight, one hand stroking soothingly through Adam’s hair. Adam relaxed into his embrace, mumbling his thanks against Tommy’s neck. They sat in silence for long minutes.

“So, what do I do?” Adam’s low whisper tore at Tommy’s heart.

“You keep up the fight…” He tipped Adam’s face up to gaze into his eyes “you still believe in it” It was a statement rather than a question, but Adam nodded emphatically “and whatever he says, remember that Sauli _is_ wearing the ring you gave him… He loves you totally…”

Adam’s face lit up and a dreamy smile curved his mouth “thank you baby, you always know how to make me see the positive…” He squeezed Tommy tightly and pressed a brief kiss to his lips “You’re the best friend a person could ever have and I’m so lucky to have you in my life…”

“Me too, babyboy…me too” Tommy rubbed their noses together and shooed Adam off his lap. “I got something to show you…” Moving over to the low table with Adam’s laptop, Tommy dropped to his knees and logged onto his Facebook, opening the _Events_ page.

 _Trespassing_ Single: Launch party _you and 27,058 are going, 9742 comments._ Linked events: The Lady Raja Trespassing Extravaganza.

“If you’re in the country on release day maybe we could do a live performance of the song – Raja’s going to do _Diamond Crowned Queen_ as one of hers _…”_

“That video was so fucking hot!” Adam joined him on the floor and opened his Youtube favouites, clicking play… “You look debauched and totally fucking gorgeous!” He cupped Tommy’s face, brushing his thumbs lightly over Tommy’s cheeks as he dropped his voice to a raw throaty whisper “ _You look like you’re enjoying it, Glitterbaby…being manhandled and kissed hard…_ ”

Colour flooded Tommy’s face as his body reacted instantly and he bit his down on his lip, dipping his head forward to hide behind his hair. Adam released him “You’re one hot, pretty kitty…and that blush…” he leant closer, breathing into Tommy’s ear “ _what you do to me, Tommy Joe!_ ”

_What I want to do to you…for you to do to me…_

Tommy’s hand shook as he moved the cursor back to the Facebook page, leaving the song playing on YouTube without seeing the video. Relief flooded his body and he clicked on the link to Raja’s page to show the full layout for the evening. There was a drag show, music, themed costume competition and entrance would cost one download. Trespassing themed drinks were also on offer for the price of a download alongside the more usual fare – it was stacking up to be a typical fucking fantastic Raja hostess-at-her-best event and Adam stared at the screen with his mouth open.

Fumbling for his phone, Adam launched into excited chatter with the Lady, checking calendars and the myriad of dates he had in his head to conclude that he would be in the country and they’d most definitely do a live performance of that…and maybe a few others. He’d have to check with Bradford to confirm…

They spent the rest of the evening curled up watching Velvet Goldmine, falling asleep in their clothes on Adam’s bed.

Rehearsals went well; Tommy’s fingers were as flexible as they’d ever been, racing up and down the fret as he shredded some killer sounds to show off his recovery, moving round to bump knuckles with the rest of the band as they tipped their instruments at him. Adam met him mid-return to his kitty spot, taking his hand to kiss each finger softly; much to the amusement of everyone else as Tommy visibly melted.

Fond laughter filled the air and the music flowed.

The five hour, early evening flight to Washington was uneventful and they spent some time discussing the upcoming event at Sutan’s club. It was an event they were all looking forward to, Bradford announcing cheerfully that he’d found a black and yellow tie for the occasion. He winked surreptitiously at Tommy as the others teased him about the damaging effects such a wild tie could have on his prim and proper suits. Tommy grinned and leant back in his seat, closing his eyes and huffing contentedly as Adam entwined their hands.

Adam leant back in his own seat, wondering how Sauli was getting on back home in Finland. He missed him.

Subconsciously, he tightened his grip on Tommy’s hand as he drifted into sleep.

Luggage collected and autographs signed for the few stalwart fans who’d turned up at the airport to greet them, they clambered into the minibus for the short journey to their hotel. By the time Bradford had booked them in and handed out key cards, it was gone two in the morning and they stumbled to their rooms, looking forward to crawling between the sheets.

Tommy’s room was next door to Adam’s, but this time there was no connecting door. Bidding Adam goodnight, Tommy dumped his travel bag on his bed and headed to the bathroom to turn the shower on.

A call down to room service for some coffee, followed by a swift all over scrub to wash off the grime of travelling and he was stretched out on his bed in just a pair of boxer briefs, as he ran through the plans for the launch one more time in his head… _oh Casey if you could see me now; all your training put to such good use!_

A light tapping on his door had Tommy tugging a t-shirt over his head and he padded across in bare feet to open it, expecting to see room service with his coffee.

An equally attired, damp haired Adam looked hopefully at him. “I’m too awake now!” he pouted, that totally adorable, one hundred percent _Adam_ pout that had Tommy chuckling and grabbing a handful of t-shirt to tug Adam over the threshold and into a hug.

“Good job I ordered coffee for two, then!” He squeezed tightly, inhaling that delicious aroma that was the distinctive blend of Adam’s favourite shower products set against the backdrop of everything that was _just Adam…_ Tommy’s senses swooned and he allowed himself a brief moment to dream… _mine…all mine…_

With the door still open, the ping of the elevator doors sounded loudly in the still of the early morning and Tommy regretfully released his hold on the love of his life. “Go get comfortable and I’ll wait for room service.”

Adam’s beaming smile set the butterflies in Tommy’s stomach off on a wild spin cycle and he swallowed down the contented sigh that threatened to betray his innermost secrets, settling instead for drooling over the view of Adam’s back and bare freckled legs as he headed towards Tommy’s bed.

The butterflies landed and his blood supply headed further south… _fuck…now is not the time for a boner…get a grip Ratliff – and I don’t mean on that particular bodily part…_

Muttering under his breath at the effect Adam’s bare feet were having on his nether regions, Tommy was surprised when the waft of fresh coffee under his nose heralded the arrival of his order, having zoned out enough to miss the progression of the red shirted staff member along the hallway. Blinking rapidly, he signed the charge form, handed over a tip and relieved said young man of the tray of coffee and Adam’s favourite cappuccino wafers, before closing the door with a sharp swing his non-existent arse.

Adam was sat up in bed, remote in hand and flicking through the films on the hotel movie channel when Tommy rejoined him.

Adam grinned happily at him as he took the proffered mug. “You know me so well…” his smile softened “sometimes even better than I know myself!”

Tommy gasped… _better than I know myself…just like Sauli…I fucking love you Adam Lambert…_

The urge to fling himself on Adam, press him into the bed and kiss him into tomorrow was overwhelming…

He fought it, forcing a grin at Adam’s raised eyebrow in response to his gasp “Hot!”

Adam winked “you’re always hot, baby!”

“Hahaha! Funny!” Tommy indicated the splashed coffee on the tray “but, I’ll return the compliment anyway!” He held his mug out “To two, hotter-than-fucking-hot, insomniacs…”

“Love you, Glitterbaby!” Adam clunked their mugs together “you’re one mad motherfucker!”

“Ditto!” Tommy plonked his coffee back on the nightstand and slid in next to Adam, bumping his shoulder affectionately “So…what’re we watching?”

Adam pressed play, working the wide-eyed innocent look as Tommy chuckled. “Moulin Rouge it is then!”

Despite the coffee and the undeniable cuteness of Ewan McGregor singing his heart out to Nicole Kidman, they fell asleep mid-film, heads resting against each other, limbs entwined…

Their alarm call dragged them from slumber, Tommy reaching across a sleep-mussed, adorable Adam to grab the phone from its stand, stab at the # on the keypad to confirm he was awake, before snuggling back down into Adam’s warm embrace.

They lay still for multiple blissful minutes, cocooned from the world outside with nothing but their breathing and the steady thud of their heartbeats…

Finally, and with the utmost reluctance, Tommy wriggled out of Adam’s hold “We gotta move or we’ll have Bradford after our arses!”

Adam let out a bellow of laughter “I didn’t know we knew him that well yet!” He propped himself up on one elbow “do we know if he’s..?”

Tommy shrugged “no idea! You’ll have to flirt!”

Adam chuckled and shook his head “I’m not going to frighten him away – he’s a fucking awesome tour manager…quiet and quite an innocent I think, so coming on to him might freak him out! I bet he’s an ‘easy listening’ kinda guy away from us…”

Tommy snickered and padded to the bathroom, turning the shower on to warm... _if only you knew!_

Adam stuck his head around the door a few minutes later “I’ve ordered coffee in my room, see you when you’re done here…” He grinned as Tommy stopped, t-shirt part-way over his head “shout if you need a hand with that!”

Ignoring the instant redirection of his circulation, Tommy grinned back and gave a suitable gestured response, Adam’s delighted laughter floating back as he headed back to his own room.

Tommy waited until he heard his room door close before leaping in the shower to take full advantage of the steaming water and his energetic right hand.

Sated, dried and dressed, he tapped on Adam’s door…

After coffee, a brief hello to Sauli whilst Adam was on the phone to him, and a quick check on social media, they headed down to breakfast to join the rest of the band.

Ever efficient, Bradford had an itinerary printed for them, handing them around once everyone had eaten their fill and they were fuelled ready for the day ahead. Soundcheck was at four, with a photo session just prior to the performance for a local gay magazine. A team meeting – a brief one for everyone except Adam and Tommy according to the notes – was due to start in thirty minutes in Adam’s room.

As they all stood and headed back towards the elevators, Ashley grabbed Tommy’s hand and cuddled in close “Rick’s still watching! We’ll have to tell him soon or he’ll be expecting wedding bells!”

Tommy laughed and slid an arm around her waist “he’ll be mad!”

“Yeah, but until then we can have fun!” Ashley stopped to drop a quick kiss to his lips, leaning into his body as she giggled.

Behind them, Rick watched with his mouth open. Adam nudged him “No-one can resist the charms of Tommy Joe...” he chuckled “Get in line, Jordan!”

Laughter rang out as the happy band piled into the elevator.

Once everyone was settled, either on the couch, stretched on the bed or sat on the floor, Bradford ran swiftly through the day’s plan, underlining the times for meet-up, his “everyone okay?” earning him multiple nods and thumbs up. “So, as promised, that’s it from me! Tommy...over to you!”

Tommy stood up, reaching behind him to grab his yellow and black striped notepad off the bedside cabinet.

“Nicely themed, Teebie!” Ash blew him a kiss and he winked at her, conscious of Rick’s eyes following their little interchange.

“So, _Operation Trespassing..._ or as our esteemed leader refers to it _Screw the fuckers at RCA_ – which I rather like, but it didn’t look quite so good on the subject line of my emails and kept being diverted into everyone’s junk mail! We’re going to do a mass Twitter campaign to promote the free download so your help in retweeting would be good... I’ve...” Tommy paused and grinned “okay, so _Bradford’s_ set up an account for me at Amazon and itunes so every download in the first forty eight hours is charged to a separate PayPal account. This means we can not only keep track for the competition entries but we can see how many downloads we’re getting. They can gift it as well but it doesn’t count until the other person actually downloads it. Obviously people can still buy it as normal themselves, but that won’t give them entry to the competition...”

He glanced at his notes “If everyone’s free for breakfast the day after tomorrow, I thought we’d meet at Adam’s, all sign the Fender I’m giving away and then we’d go and celebrate our grand plan with cinnamon whirls and coffee. I’ve invited Lee and Sutan as well. Adam has his photoshoot for the prize pictures straight after and Sutan will bring Raja out for some promotional shots...” Tommy grinned at the enthusiastic response of whistles, whoops and _fuck yeah!_

“Finally, as we’re all in the country on the eighth, we thought we’d play it live at Raja’s and maybe a short set as well, so if there’s any cover you fancy dropping into the mix, now’s the time to shout!” Tommy handed his notebook and pen to Bradford “my secretary will take notes...”

Bradford grinned “Yes, Mr Ratliff”

“Haha, cute!”

“Are you gonna go my way! We slayed that the other month...can’t wait to play it on stage!” Brian waved his hands wildly, causing Ashley to duck suddenly and slide off the sofa, landing elegantly in Rick’s lap. Rick looked like all his Christmases had come at once and grinned triumphantly at Tommy as he wrapped his arms around her. Ash just giggled and settled herself more comfortably.

Tommy watched them all laughing. He loved these people...

“Tears for Fears’ Shout is one I’d like to try...” Adam tipped his head to one side, thinking “...and Dragon Attack is one I’ve really fallen in love with this summer...”

“I love the bass line on that one...” Ashley added her vote for the Queen song.

“Are we happy with those three?” Heads nodded.

Adam held his hands out, laughing as Tommy hauled him energetically to his feet. Draping an arm around Tommy’s shoulders, Adam leant against him. “Tommy Joe and I will work on those, we’ll add a couple from our existing setlist to _Trespassing_ so we’re looking at a six song set.”

Closing the meeting, Tommy held the door as they all filed out until it was just the two of them. Adam dropped onto the bed. “So we really doing this? Are we really gonna stick it to those lacklustre bastards?”

Tommy nodded “They’ll underestimate you at their peril by the time we’ve finished, babyboy...”

His voice cracking, Adam tugged Tommy down beside him and wrapped him into a tight hug “Thank you, baby...”

For blissful moments Tommy immersed himself in everything _Adam_ , melting into the warmth of the embrace, before pulling back to kiss Adam’s cheek “let’s get this show on the road...”

Half laughing, half crying, Adam released him and they settled down to work on the arrangements for their chosen cover songs...

The time flew past and they were grabbing a sandwich for very belated lunch when Bradford rang to confirm the minibus had arrived to take them to the venue for soundcheck.

With his usual ruthless efficiency, Bradford had already collected their chosen attire for the evening so it was mere moments before they were piling on board. On arrival it was immediately obvious that the set up was not what they were used to; sound quality was not going to be easily obtained and the tech guys were enthusiastic amateurs rather than slick professionals. After numerous frustrating starts, Adam called a halt and gathered everyone around to work through the problems together.

Yet again, Tommy was blown away by the sheer presence and professionalism of the man he adored. Adam took control, stripped back the layers of sound to see what could be discarded without losing the integrity of the songs...it was yet another reminder of the thousands of different reasons this man was so universally loved by those around him.

Bradford volunteered to take on the role of runner for the performance, to free up an extra pair of hands, Adam explained his hand signals for adjusting the sound during the performance but also agreed he would ask verbally so they didn’t need to remember them; it was a calm and methodical reconstruction of the set up and when they returned to their instruments the rest of soundcheck passed without incident and sounded good.

Turning back from a walk across the stage during _Shady_ , Tommy grinned as he watched Bradford in the wings, playing air along with him.

He fucking loved his job and these people...

Soundcheck had taken them far longer than anticipated and there was no sense now in returning to the hotel. After a brief conversation with the organisers, Bradford confirmed they had a room upstairs for their use, changing and showering facilities included, plus he’d organised something to eat.

Adam smacked him on the back “I’m so glad you decided to stick with us...”

“It’s definitely an experience!”

“Welcome to the world of Rock ‘n’ Roll!” Laughter broke out as they made their way up to the lounge on the top floor of the building.

After eating and taking turns to shower and dust up, they ventured back down to the action. The four different bars all had something going on and they mingled with the crowds before returning to the main bar and heading out back to change into their show gear. Adam had chosen a stylish brown suit and shirt and looked so smokin’ hot Tommy was finding it difficult to drag his eyes away until Ashley draped her arms around him to murmur into his ear that he was drooling and wasn’t it supposed to be _her_ he was captivated by!

Suitably chastised, Tommy kissed her softly and dropped into a chair, settling her comfortably on his lap. Good humour and anticipation ruled the air until the photographer from the local gay magazine arrived to take some pictures for their report of the event. He departed, grinning, with a mix of some candid and formal shots.

Adam’s phone rang as they were getting ready to go on, his beaming smile and “Love you too” confirming Tommy’s guess that Sauli was ringing to wish his boyfriend a killer show. The happy band hit the stage to cheers of delight and they rocked straight into _Kickin’ In_ followed by _Shady..._

The sound was good; Adam’s audible requests for adjustments sorted quickly and the love flowing from the crowd lifted them ever higher. Adam bounded around the stage, bantered with the audience, especially with some of the familiar faces from other shows, and leapt down to wish one fan a happy birthday... It was wild and one of the most fun gigs they’d done.

There were a few technical issues as the set progressed, but Adam dealt with them like the true pro he was, improvising and adding riffs and some cheeky lyrics as the sound guys hurried to put things right.

His quiet and impassioned speech on _Question Six_ had the cheers lifting the roof before he drew tears with an emotional _Outlaws of Love_ , lifting the mood again with heartfelt appreciation and a description of the special marriage equality cake a fan had made.

Tommy watched and loved...and loved some more as Adam sang to him, moving in close and gazing into his eyes... _whataya want from me..._

_It was just him and Adam..._

Adam’s playful plea for someone to remove an item of clothing nudged Tommy back from his most delightful daydreams and they moved into an energetic and upbeat _Naked Love_ as Adam twirled the shirt that had been thrown onto the stage...

 _Cuckoo_ marked the end of their nine song set and Tommy blushed at the warmth in Adam’s voice in the band introductions _my dear friend, Mr Tommy Joe Ratliff..._ He let it rip in his solo, heart thudding double time at the fire in Adam’s eyes as he moved back to his spot and it was Brian’s turn to shine.

Tommy was on a high as they skipped off the stage to rousing applause, following happily as Adam grabbed his hand and tugged him into his dressing room. Once over the threshold, Adam pulled Tommy in close and backed him up against the door, claiming his mouth in a frantic, tongue tangling kiss. Melting into the heat of Adam’s body, Tommy kissed back hungrily, arching instinctively towards the hot, hard throbbing pressing into his thigh.

They broke momentarily to recharge oxygen supplies, hands now running boldly over clothing with possessive intent. Tommy’s needy whimper swallowed as Adam crushed their lips together once more and they lost themselves in the heat of the moment, feral desire igniting low in their bellies...

A knock on the door made them jump apart “Adam, are you ready to cut the cake?”

“Fuck!” Adam’s low whisper had Tommy blinking, eyes glazed and body like molten steel. “Give me five minutes...just freshening up...”

“See you out front...” Bradford’s footsteps faded away.

Adam traced the outline of Tommy’s kiss swollen mouth. “I’m sorry, baby...” he pressed a feather-light brush of lips to Tommy’s forehead “I got carried away... _again..._ ” He tugged Tommy into a hug “forgive me...please?” the pleading whisper against Tommy’s ear sparking yet more fires in other areas.

Squeezing tightly, Tommy pulled back enough to meet Adam’s eyes, the usually sparkling blue now clouded with a mix of guilt and worry. “Nothing to forgive, babyboy...sometimes we need to let off a bit of after-show steam...” The grin was one hundred percent genuine “...and I do believe Brad has authorised this particular method before!”

Adam’s delighted laugh was music to his ears and the loving smile sent his butterflies into happy spirals. “So, we’re good?”

Tommy chuckled “Yeah, we’re _always_ good!”

A rapid readjustment of clothing and repair of hair and face and they headed back out, arms around shoulders, to join the others. Cheers rang out as Adam and the fan who’d created it, jointly cut the cake and a toast was proposed to marriage equality.

Sinking his teeth into a wedge of delicious chocolate and vanilla sponge, Tommy decided that life was pretty fucking awesome right now.

The following morning they slept late, ordering a room service breakfast and generally taking it easy. After scrolling through Twitter to check out the reviews and retweeting a few good photos, Tommy returned to his room to shower and pack.

Three hours later they were boarding the plane back to LA. Sat quietly at the front of first class, they discussed the following week’s activities. Tomorrow they’d sign the guitar and have band breakfast before Lee took the pictures for the goodie bag prizes. The day after Adam would be leaving for China and Tommy would house sit until Sauli returned on the first. “I promise to over-water and kill all your house plants...”

“Love you, Tommy Joe!”

“Yeah, I know!”

The rollercoaster journey continued unabated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Sorry for delay - laptop died and lost most of the chapter. Currently on my old netbook - gotta love Windows XP...but, hey, all's good as most of my stuff was backed up quite recently. Now just need to get a new laptop!
> 
> 2\. I need a volunteer to win Tommy's guitar and thinking maybe one of my lovely comment-ers might like to feature in that chapter... Let me know and if there's a few, I'll pull a name out of a hat!


	22. Chapter 22

Adam’s kitchen resonated to the sound of laughter and the happy clink of cutlery on china...

Waking early, they’d decided that a restaurant or diner would be too public for their needs and settled on breakfast at home. Here they could be as loud and as fucking stupid as they liked with no worries about pap photos appearing all over social media within minutes.

After showering and topping up his caffeine levels, Tommy headed out for supplies, leaving Adam to message everyone before waking up Skype for his catch up with Sauli. Checking out at the grocery store, Tommy grinned with satisfaction as he bagged his purchases; large numbers of his favourite cinnamon whirls making the return journey back to Adam’s, along with strawberries, blueberries, melon and a fuck ton of bacon, eggs and freshly baked bread.

Humming contentedly, Tommy whisked eggs and milk for the French toast, moving on to slice the bread thickly whilst Adam washed strawberries and sorted out plates.

The coffee was brewing when everyone arrived en mass and they crowded into the kitchen. After hugs and cheerful greetings all round, Ashley presented Tommy with a prettily wrapped parcel which he took with a questioning smile.

“Adam said you were doing your famous Fresh toast so I got you this!” she winked and tugged him close to whisper in his ear “and we can come clean to Rick...” she giggled softly “think of it as a breaking up present!”

Tommy chuckled and pulled back enough to kiss her lightly. “Thanks, my little sexpot!” He curled an arm around her waist and raised his voice over the general chatter. “A bit of quiet if you please! Ash and I have an announcement...”

Rick arched an eyebrow and the others grinned, guessing what was coming. “My sexy pie and I have a confession to make...”

Ashley winked at Rick as his mouth dropped open.

“Ash and I are best of friends but not at all involved...” Tommy grinned fondly at her “...but she really does look fucking amazing in that emerald green underwear...sorry Rick!”

“Bastards!” Rick grinned good humouredly “so while I was thinking you were some sort of sex God with all those different women...”

“Oh, he’s still very much a sexy little thing...” Adam’s emphatic comment drew knowing smiles around the room and Tommy blushed.

“Sorry guys! And I still love you Teebie! Now open your present and get cooking!”

Ripping at the paper, Tommy unwrapped a red, guitar-shaped food turner, immediately air slaying a wild tune as everyone shrieked with laughter. Folding her into a tight hug, Tommy lifted Ashley off her feet and spun her around.

“Fucking awesome! I love it!” Releasing Ashley, Tommy bounded to the sink, washed his new guitar and leapt at the cooker. “Breakfast!”

With full plates and mugs, they got down to the serious business of eating their fill...

Many hands made light work of the clearing up and the dishwasher was gurgling energetically in no time as they piled into the living area to get on with the signing of the first prize, one of Tommy’s beloved Fenders.

Lee snapped pictures as the band took turns to exercise the Sharpie to sign their names with a flourish. Once they’d finished, Adam added his signature and this photo was posted on Tommy’s twitter, Instagram and Facebook; Adam and everyone else immediately retweeting the post. They watched as the numbers of mentions, favourites and retweets climbed rapidly into multiple thousands...the power of the Glamberts in action was an awe inspiring thing.

Adam glanced around at the happy faces of his dearest friends and supporters, his gaze lingering on the tiny figure with the mop of blue hair who was talking to Lee and Sutan over by the window. As he watched, Tommy threw back his head and laughed, the sun catching his elfin features and the sheer magic of that moment took Adam’s breath away. Tommy was so fucking beautiful...

He moved across the room to join them.

An hour later, Rick, Ash and Brian had departed after they’d all had a few informal band and group pictures out on the roof terrace. The rest of them relocated to Lee’s studio for the next stage of the morning.

Tommy laughed as Riff climbed Adam like a tree, the toddler giggling non-stop as he was spun around and dropped back onto his feet to repeat the game all over again. Lee used the informal playtime to snap a few test shots for lighting and distance, nodding approvingly at the images he’d captured on screen.

When Scarlett scooped up a protesting Riff, Tommy and Adam draped their arms around each other, pulling silly faces and capering a mad dance...Riff’s tears dried instantly and he giggled, waving madly as his mom carried him away so Lee, Adam and Tommy could start shooting the prize pictures whilst Sutan planned tour wardrobe outfits and make up design with Scarlett.

Adam tugged Tommy closer and stared into his eyes, sparkling blue meeting liquid brown as electricity charged the air around them...for that split second, time was suspended...

Across the floor, Lee clicked shot after shot...

Pressing their lips together softly, Adam smiled and released him, lightly slapping Tommy’s arse. “Okay, Glitterbaby, what’ve you got in mind?” The accompanying wink did all sorts of delicious things to Tommy’s circulation...

_...you, me...steamy shower..._ sudden images of Adam pressing him up hard against the cool tiled wall as water cascaded down on them both flooded his mind and it was with extreme effort that he dragged his thoughts away and back to the matter in hand... _fuck...now is so not the time for puns..._

“The actual shot layouts are whatever Lee wants to do...” Tommy bit his lip thoughtfully, that characteristic tiny tilt of his head and wrinkling of his nose as he pondered, reminding Adam just how much he adored every inch of this man “but we need four different ones I think?”

Tommy blushed under the intense gaze “Adam?”

Adam rejoined the present, a rare flush tinting his cheeks as he pushed aside the images in his head. “Yeah...I’m completely yours...”

_I wish..._

Every moment was captured on camera...

Lee scrolled back through his shots and whistled under his breath. The chemistry between these two men was spellbinding and unequivocal proof that Adam was still completely and utterly in love.

Moving towards them, he outlined his thoughts for the different poses. For now, it was serious work time...

Many, _many_ shots later they were gathered around the tall table in Lee’s workshop with sheets of contact prints and Lee’s computer set up with the viewer to project their chosen images onto the wall.

“This one…” Lee circled another thumbprint as they continued to scan the results. Finally, they’d narrowed it down to three of each pose and these were put up on the screen.

The first set of three showed Adam in profile as he leant against the studio wall, one leg bent at the knee with his foot resting against the wall, as he studied the sheet music for Trespassing. They voted unanimously for a black and white finish throughout and quickly dismissed the two colour shots of the same pose.

The second had him sat at the piano writing on the same sheet music, one hand on the keys. The slight hint of a smile suggested the writing was going well… “I like this one…” Adam laughed and mimed a chord “but it’s a good job they can’t hear just how fucking badly I play!”

They moved on to the next which was a simple shot of Adam with headphones, singing into a studio mic. Lee had captured his emotion perfectly in the one they eventually picked and it was added to the folder on his computer.

The fourth shot was casual, with Adam lounging on the sofa, his feet up as he laughed at something behind the camera. It was completely natural, a beaming smile which personified Adam and his wicked sense of humour to perfection and it was swiftly added to the file.

“I know you wanted four, but…” Lee clicked on another thumbnail and the screen lit up with an image that had them gasping. Adam was still on the sofa, this time sat up and leaning slightly forward with his hands resting lightly on his knees. He was looking away from the camera, his eyes wide and sparkling, his lips curved into a soft smile. The whole picture resonated love and contentment and was, quite simply, breathtakingly beautiful.

“This is too good not to include!” It went without saying that Adam had been watching Tommy when those last two pictures had been taken…

Scarlett, Riff and Sutan rejoined them as Lee projected their final five images up on the wall.

“Fucking awesome, dude!” Tommy bumped knuckles with Lee, Adam hugged them both to death and Riff ran around them all, inciting hilarious laughter with his best impression of an aeroplane.

Next on the agenda were some promotional shots of Raja for the Trespassing Extravaganza posters and the club’s website. Adam’s phone rang as Sutan walked elegantly towards the dressing room to change. “Bradford…” Tommy watched as the expression on Adam’s face changed from bewilderment, through stunned surprise, to end up at triumphant elation. “Fuck, yes! We’ll be with you in ten…I’m bringing Tommy as he started it all” Adam nodded in agreement to whatever Bradford had said “…so he should be there to see the results! Fucking awesome! Yeah! Thanks!”

Adam cut the call, dropped his phone onto the table with a clatter and hauled Tommy in close with a handful of t-shirt, as he crushed their mouths together for a hotly exciting, tongue-tangling kiss that left Tommy breathless and incoherent when he was finally released. He clung on tightly, unable to do anything other than whimper softly.

“We did it! We fucking did it – and the thing’s not even happened yet!” Adam grinned madly at the others over Tommy’s head. “My label have called a meeting to discuss a Trespassing EP…they’ve been bombarded with demands from fans and it now appears there is ‘sufficient demand to warrant further investment’…” He hugged Tommy closer, resting his chin on the mop of blue hair “and it’s all down to this guy here…my beautiful and amazing best friend… _Tommy Joe…_ ”

Scarlett reached towards them both, wrapping her arms around them as Adam’s voice cracked and tears spilled down his cheeks. Riff joined in by hugging his Godfather’s leg and jumping up and down excitedly on his foot.

It was a moment of triumph and great emotion, broken by the arrival of Raja, who looked stunning in a skin tight black and yellow striped number that would have the patrons on their knees begging to get up close and personal! “What the fuck? Why is nobody welcoming the Lady!” She waved her matching purse in the air as Lee let out a bellow of laughter at her affronted expression.

Adam and Tommy hugged everyone quickly and took off, leaving a highly amused Scarlett to explain…

On arrival at the offices of RCA, Bradford was waiting outside, flicking through his ever-present notebook as he marked pages with mini sticky notes.

“We need to go now!” He snapped his notebook closed and grinned, taking the sting out of the implied _you’re late!_ and they headed in through the revolving doors. Tommy looked around him at the grand, open plan mass of glass and chrome and the huge posters and album covers from their current high value artist list.

“Adam should be up there!” Tommy hissed angrily into Bradford’s ear as Adam signed them in with the I’m-vastly-superior-to-you expression wearing receptionist, receiving three visitor’s badges from her.

The meeting was brief and impersonal and they came away with agreement for an eight track EP, a minimum promotional budget and a healthy deepened respect for Bradford.

The man Adam had dubbed as _quiet_ and _an innocent_ had torn the record exec’s arguments to shreds; quoting stats, locations, reviews and articles in a professional but kickass way, overriding all opposition to get the best deal for Adam, doubling the offered number of tracks on the EP. “Frankly, gentlemen, your personal opinions of Adam’s obvious talent are irrelevant. You are in the business to make money. Adam makes you money. End of. Eight tracks…”

Even Tommy, who’d seen a different side to him already, was stunned at the quiet authority and powerful presence he’d projected. Quite clearly, Bradford was one multi-faceted badass motherfucker. The man had rock ‘n’ roll running through his veins...

Adam was thoughtful and said little in the car on the way back to his place, lacing their hands together and resting them on his thigh as he drove.

Once they were home, he picked up one of the copies of _Trespassing_ lyrics from the pile that Tommy had left out for Adam to sign and stared at it, his eyes glistening with fresh tears. “How did I get so fucking lucky to have you in my life?” the underlying shakiness in his voice suggesting he was barely holding it together.

Tommy reached towards him as Adam continued in the same low, deliberate tone, without looking away from the music score,  “I don’t deserve you…”

“You d…” Tommy stopped as Adam lifted his head to meet his gaze and the intensity in his eyes had every corpuscle in Tommy’s body charging south, driving any form of coherent words from his brain and he stood mute, mouth half open…

Adam took his hand “I need… _want…_ Brad approved…you _know_ … _can I…we…_ ” Adam mumbled helplessly, the heat from his hand burning Tommy’s skin and he nodded minutely, the needy sounds dropping from his lips lost as Adam claimed his mouth and they staggered to the sofa, the kiss intensifying as Adam’s tongue probed every corner of his mouth. Tommy melted into Adam’s hold, shamelessly rubbing against him in search of friction as wild desire thrummed through his veins.

Adam’s hands ran feverishly over Tommy’s body, fingers splayed to cover as much of him as possible, one tangling in his hair as the other slid between their bodies to cup the hot, hard, throbbing bulge. Tommy pressed into the touch, moans, whimpers and nonsensical babble swallowed as their kiss grew ever more heated, tongues duelling, mouths opening wider and they lost themselves to the sensations of feral want…

Hands fumbled with belts and buckles as they broke apart to recharge their oxygen supply. Adam paused briefly to gaze at Tommy, head arched back to display his throat…that beautiful throat glistening with a light sheen of sweat…he had to taste it; licking and nipping his way down to lap in the hollow before biting hard and sucking up a deep purple bruise…claiming him…

Tommy moaned loudly at the pain pleasure sensation, twisting his hands into the fabric of Adam’s shirt as he pressed closer… _needwantmore…_ on repeat through his desire fogged brain.

They barely registered the sound of Adam’s landline ringing until the answerphone cut in and Lee’s voice echoed clearly through the passion charged atmosphere “Adam, Tommy…party’s underway whenever you guys are back from your meeting. Left a message on your cells as well. We’re all so proud of you!” The recording clicked off.

_Fuck…fuckfuckfuck…_

Tommy wriggled out of Adam’s hold and bolted for the door. “Need to…clothes…fuck! See you at Lee’s”

The door banged behind him.

Adam stared at the space where Tommy had been seconds before. _Fuck!_ He licked his lips and the lingering taste of Tommy’s skin sent a bolt of want surging down to join the already supercharged gathering. Closing his eyes, Adam shoved his hand into his pants…

Panting and writhing uncomfortably in the driver’s seat, Tommy gasped his release into his pants, trembling as he moaned Adam’s name like a mantra.

Wiping his hand on his jeans, Tommy gunned the engine and took off for home, deliberately ignoring all the warning bells going off in his head.

Adam was worth getting his heart broken all over again…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the guitar entries so far. The draw will be in the next chapter [23] so if you'd like a chance to star, let me know!


	23. Chapter 23

Showered and suitably attired in fresh clothes…and if he admitted it, in carefully selected items Adam had commented on in the past… _fuck those teenaged girl hormones that had crept in when he wasn’t looking…_ Tommy applied eyeliner and mascara and finished the look with just a touch of natural gloss to his lips for a deliciously kissable sheen…

_Oh, my King, would’st thou drink of my lips…_

_You’re such a fucking romantic sap!_ Tommy grinned at his reflection and headed out.

Stopping off at the store, Tommy ambled slowly down the wine aisle staring vacantly at the vast array of Chablis and Chardonnay as the nagging fears he’d shoved aside, forced their way into his head and a running battle ensued… _stop delaying…getting there later won’t change shit!_ Grabbing a couple of bottles of wine and a bottle of Jack, Tommy paid for them and dragged his reluctant arse back to his car.

It had seemed like such a good idea at the time… _but what if it changed things…_ His fingers traced over the mark on his neck.

_What if…fuck what ifs! Grow some balls Ratliff…it’s not like you’ve never hand your hand in his pants before…and actually, this time, you didn’t even get that far…_ Tommy laughed out loud at his rambling thought processes…and if the laughter was more than a little on the hysterical side, there was no-one in the car to judge him…

_It was going to be okay…it **had** to be okay…_

On arrival at Lee’s, he climbed out of his car and reached back in to pick up the drinks carrier from the passenger footwell, cursing freely under his breath as his grasping hand met empty air. Planting one knee on the driver’s seat he stretched further, this time making contact with the cardboard handle and backed out slowly.

“I’d know that gorgeous skinny arse anywhere!”

Adam’s voice took him by surprise and he smacked his head on the doorframe as he jumped. “Fuck! Ouch! Fuck _fuck!”_

“Tommy, baby are you okay? I didn’t mean to startle you…” Adam voice held real concern and Tommy couldn’t help the warm flutter of soft wings in his stomach.

Carefully straightening up, he clutched the wine carrier to his chest as Adam moved closer. He’d changed into designer ripped jeans, his favourite leopard skin print top and chunky lace-up boots and looked hot as fuck. Tommy froze momentarily as his barrier was removed from his hands and he was tugged into a hug, Adam mumbling _sorryI’msorryI’msorry_ in his ear.

As his senses were overwhelmed with everything _Adam_ and Tommy melted into the familiar embrace, Adam’s happy sigh only served to tighten his hold on the man who owned his soul…

They stood motionless for long minutes, each lost in their own thoughts.

“My beautiful boys!” Raja’s arms wrapping around them both as she planted a kiss on each of their cheeks, brought them back to the moment. Stepping back, she surveyed them carefully. “You…” she patted Adam’s arse “are wanted to say goodnight to your Godson.” An expressive eyebrow arched as Adam didn’t move. “ _Now,_ if you please!”

Reluctantly, Adam released his hold on Tommy and retreated towards the house, looking back wistfully over his shoulder as he went.

Tommy bent down to pick up his wine carrier, preparing to follow. An elegantly manicured finger pressed firmly against his front, stopped him in his tracks. “Tell Raja all…” her finger moved to tilt Tommy’s head to one side, exposing Adam’s brand on his neck “and she _will_ know if you miss anything out!”

A fierce blush rocketed over Tommy’s face and he bit his lip. “We…I…” he faltered as Raja’s eyebrow rose and she folded her arms. Unconsciously, Tommy glanced down at the ground to check her foot wasn’t tapping – tapping was a definite sign of imminent trouble and was to be avoided at any cost…a pissed off Raja was a sight to behold, but only as  long as _you_ weren’t the one lighting the touch paper…

Breathing a sigh of relief, Tommy looked up to find her expression had changed from stern concern to one of fond amusement. His blush intensified as she laughed softly “I’m not cross…just worried that my life partner’s got himself in over his head and I don’t want his heart broken…”

Tommy shrugged helplessly “too fucking late…”

“I know…” She stroked a gentle hand down the side of his face “You give so much of yourself to Adam, I need to make sure there’s enough left for you…” Raja paused and folded him into a hug, holding tightly as she whispered “He belongs to Sauli…”

The tangled mass of pent up emotions buried deep inside Tommy exploded to the surface in heaving sobs and he clung to Raja as she rocked him gently, soothing his hair and rubbing his back as his tears soaked into the fabric of her dress.

Long minutes later, Tommy’s sobs had subsided and he was taking deep shaky breaths as he attempted to regain control.

Tipping his head up, Raja kissed his forehead and dried his eyes with the sleeve of her dress “Better now, Vayvee?”

Tommy nodded and cuddled back into her arms “I know he loves Sauli…and he misses him when he’s away which is why I…”

“Don’t you _dare_ sell yourself short, Thomas Ratliff!” Raja bristled instantly “You are _not_ a stand in or understudy for his boyfriend! Adam loves you both…” She sighed softly “it’s complicated, but what you have is like nothing else…that connection…just be careful, okay…”

“I love him…” Tommy mumbled into her neck.

“I know, Vayvee, I know…”

“We were just kissing…y’know, after the meeting worked out…and it went shit hot and I fucking wanted him so bad…he’s just…” Raja’s arms tightened around him as his voice faltered “he’s _everything…”_ Tommy looked up “ _I don’t think I would’ve stopped if Lee hadn’t rung…_ ”

Raja cupped Tommy’s face to gaze into his eyes “Then we are thankful he rang…” her face broke into a smile as Tommy nodded seriously “Good! Who knows what might happen in the future, but now is not the time…” She pressed a chaste kiss to his lips “Let’s go fix that beautiful face before we join the party…”

They linked arms and set off towards the pool changing rooms and Raja’s box of make-up magic tricks…

Back at the house, Adam had encouraged a reluctant Riff into his pyjamas and into bed, reading him a story and singing him a lullaby until the toddler’s eyes finally closed. Brushing a gentle kiss to Riff’s forehead, Adam joined Scarlett at the door and they headed back down the stairs. “Thanks for that beautiful song…” Scarlett hummed a few bars “what was it?”

Adam smiled “my mom used to sing it to me when I was young. It’s an old Jewish song…”

“Well it’s beautiful and I’m sure Riff will want it again and again!” She chuckled “a good excuse to make sure we see lots of you!” They hit the ground floor and Adam was immediately steered out to the studio by Lee.

“Got some shots to show you…”

“Didn’t we choose the ones for the prize winners?”

“These are _your eyes onl_ y” Those words transported Adam back, to the morning after the wild party to celebrate the making of the _For Your Entertainment_ video. Lee’s candid images had shown just how infatuated Adam had been with his gorgeous blond bass player…

There was no denying it then…

…and no denying it now…

These new pictures had a crystal clear lustre and depth, showing only too clearly the connection between him and Tommy, a link that radiated off the monitor as Adam moved from photo to photo, leaving him with tears sparkling in his eyes as he reached the final shot.

Scrolling back to stop on one particular image, Adam stroked his fingers softly over the screen. “This one…”

Lee nodded and opened a new window. The one Adam had chosen was already there, in enhanced black and white.

“Close the door!”

Adam obeyed instantly as Lee projected the file onto the wall and they stood in silence, transfixed by the image…

Adam and Tommy were close, but not quite touching, their bodies leaning towards each other with easy familiarity. Adam’s hand was reaching to touch Tommy’s face, every pixel on the screen screaming intimacy and connection. Tommy’s eyes were wide and alive with joy, his head tilted back so he could gaze up into Adam’s eyes where that joy was reflected back at him. Tommy’s lips were curved into a tender smile and everything about that moment was love…total, complete, undeniable love…

Adam’s mouth opened, but no sound emerged. He repeated the attempt several times, unable to tear his eyes off the giant image of his soul laid bare…

Lee patted his arm “I got it! Copy of all of them already gone to your email and I’ve printed you one of these…”

Adam nodded, still mute. Lee reached across and closed his computer down, watching Adam’s reaction closely. Adam continued to stare at the blank wall, the image burned onto his retinas…

“I have to ask…” Lee cleared his throat “…Sauli?”

“Sauli…” Adam’s smile lit up his face. “He’s still in Finland until the first…”

Lee grimaced, clearly uncomfortable at pursuing the conversation “You love him?”

“Of course!” Adam looked puzzled.

“And Tommy?”

“I love them both…Tommy’s my best friend, my rock, and I can tell him things I could never tell Sauli. Tommy gets me totally, we just _are_ …and it’s been that way since the day of his audition. He’s under my skin, part of me…I know he’s straight and friendship is all there can ever be…” Adam’s voice wavered “I treasure the time I have with him…every moment is precious…and it’s beautiful to have him and Sauli be such good friends…I love them both so very much…” A single tear rolled down his cheek and he brushed it away.

“I almost asked Sauli to marry me…”

“Almost?”

“He doesn’t see the need for a wedding ring and a piece of paper, but like Tommy said, he _is_ wearing the Finnish Beast ring I bought for him so that’s as close as I’m going to get…”

“Tommy? You told Tommy you were going to…”

“I told him way before I was actually going to do it and he’s the only one I’ve told until now…”

Lee rubbed his hand over his beard. Scarlett was right…damn wench, she was _always right!_ Draping an arm over Adam’s shoulder, he steered them to the door “Your secret is safe with us! Time to rejoin the party and get hammered! _Trespassing_ ’s going to be a fucking epic hit…”

The deck at the side of the pool was full of happy chatter and people stretched out in chairs; in the pool, Terrance and Johnny were throwing Brooke up in the air between them like a human version of a beach ball. For her part, Brooke was shrieking with laughter and splashing each man wildly every time she landed…

Tommy was in the shade under a giant umbrella with Isaac and Sophie. As Adam watched, he high fived Isaac and dragged him in for a hug before dropping to his knees to rest his ear against Sophie’s swollen tummy. Sophie ran her fingers though Tommy’s hair, smiling softly as she looked up her husband… It was a picture of domestic bliss and friendship.

Adam gulped, attempting to shift the lump that had appeared in his throat…these wonderful people were all here for him…supporting him and his journey…

Sudden tears stung as Tommy looked up and their eyes met, Tommy’s beaming smile widening as he pointed at Sophie’s growing baby bump.

In danger of a very public meltdown, Adam dragged his phone out of his pocket and pressed it to his ear as he turned away, the pretence enough to fool the casual eye…

…but not, it seemed, the one person there who, by Adam’s own admission, knew him better than he knew himself…

Standing, Tommy kissed Sophie’s cheek, blushed furiously at Isaac’s knowing wink and took off after Adam…

He didn’t have far to go to find him; Adam was slumped against the rear wall of the studio, tears streaming silently down his cheeks. He turned away as Tommy’s footsteps approached, attempting to dry his eyes without success. Tommy tugged him wordlessly into his arms and held him close. Adam resisted for a split second before winding his arms around Tommy’s waist and clinging tightly, immersing himself in the familiar, reassuring feel of the man he adored.

When he finally loosened his grip on the back of Tommy’s t-shirt, neither was sure how much time had passed. “Thanks…” Adam snuffled into Tommy’s chest.

Tommy squeezed him gently as a reply, pressing a kiss to his hair.

“…it’s just I can’t take in how much everyone’s doing for me…I’m…I’m not w…”

“Hey! Stop right there!” Tommy pulled back and tipped Adam’s face up to his own “Real deal, remember? You were gonna be so fuckin’ real they’d have nowhere to hide…a badass motherfucker”

Adam gave him a watery smile “I remember!” He snuggled back into Tommy’s arms, pressing his face into Tommy’s neck “you and me from the start…”

“You got it! Now, we gonna go kick the shit at those bastards at RCA or what!”

“Wait till ya get a load of me!” Adam sang softly against Tommy’s skin.

“Fucking awesome dude! C’mon…the party’s missing its star!”

 Hand in hand they rejoined their friends…

When the gathering broke up around midnight, Tommy headed home alone having declined the enticing offer of extending the night by staying with Adam for a Velvet Goldmine session. He kissed the disappointed look off Adam’s face with a chaste press of his lips as he shooed him out of the car “I have to pack if I’m house sitting, you have to pack for China and we both know that if I stay with you we’ll be up all night and no fucking use at rehearsal tomorrow morning…” _and I can’t trust myself alone with you right now…_

Adam sighed theatrically “I know but…”

“You’re wired!” Tommy finished for him with a grin. “Go inside, get yourself onto Skype and have a boyfriend session with Sauli…” he patted Adam’s arse “go! Sooner you’re in, sooner you’ll be sleeping like a baby!”

The hug took him by surprise and Tommy was powerless to stop the happy whimper that escaped as he was wrapped into Adam’s warm embrace. Squeezing him tightly, Adam’s breath ghosted his ear “Love you, Tommy Joe…” Releasing him abruptly, Adam strode into the building without looking back.

Slumping limply against his car, Tommy stared after Adam’s fading silhouette “you too, Babyboy…so much…” his whisper lost on the soft breeze.

Waking, fully clothed on his bed, with the sun streaming through the window, Tommy tried desperately to cling onto the rapidly fading erotic dream that would account for the throbbing boner in his pants. Cursing, as the last wisps of whatever action he’d been getting slipped away, he glanced at the clock. He still had fifteen minutes before it was due to go off so what the fuck had woken him up?

His phone beeped from somewhere under the pillow. Two messages from Adam. _That’s_ what had dragged him from his delightful dream world. He tapped _open_ **Please!** Tommy frowned at the nonsensical single word, moving to the previous message in the hope of enlightenment. **Come for breakfast?**

Obviously his dream hadn’t been completely lost as his trousers tightened immediately, the discomfort against straining denim necessitating an urgent release from captivity…and as it was out, so to speak… Closing his eyes, his head streaming multi-layered images of Adam interspersed with his favourite GNT moments, Tommy took a firm grip…

His eyes flew open as his phone beeped again **Are you coming?**

Dropping the phone, his movements increased until he gasped his release and his body floated blissfully in the tingling warmth of the afterglow. Ignoring the mess, he rolled over onto his front and tapped a reply **Yep!** He sniggered… _well, technically, it was after the event but…_  

Abandoning his phone, soiled jeans and bedding, Tommy hit the shower and washed quickly. Freshly attired in baggy jeans and a Green Day tee, he slung a few things into his travel bag to supplement the bits he already had at Adam’s. Bag packed, he took it and his guitar into the living space, dumping them on the sofa whilst he changed the sheets on his bed.

Scribbling a note for Mike and Tanya, Tommy put a fresh pot of coffee on to brew for when they woke up and let himself out quietly.

Adam was still in the packing stage when Tommy arrived, nodding vigorously at Tommy’s offer of assistance. With two pairs of hands, the task was completed in next to no time and they were sat in the kitchen at the breakfast bar shortly afterwards, large mugs of aromatic black coffee to accompany the blueberry pancakes they’d cooked together.

Breakfast eaten, they topped up their coffee and moved into Adam’s studio room to have a run through of the arrangements for their six song set before Bradford and the car arrived.

“Have we decided on a running order?” Tommy flicked through his sheets of music”

Adam leant over his shoulder “ _If I had you, Shout, Shady, Are you gonna go my way, Dragon Attack_ and finishing with _Trespassing…_ I think that works?”

Tommy shuffled his sheets and reached for his guitar. “Sounds good! You want to do acoustic or full on like we’d actually do on stage?”

“Oh, definitely full on!” Adam’s eyes twinkled playfully “I can’t do anything less than _full on_ with you Glitterbaby!” The wink that accompanied went straight to corpuscle control and Tommy’s blood supply rerouted south.

He bit back a moan and checked the tuning on his Fender…the tuning which he already knew was perfect but… _he’s so fucking hot…gets me every time…_

“You know what that blush does to me…” Adam’s throaty purr into his ear had Tommy standing hurriedly before he exploded in his pants, playing the opening bars of _If I had you_ in an attempt to divert his body’s – and Adam’s - attention back to work.

Adam, it appeared, was not so easily distracted! He joined Tommy in the centre of the room, wagging his finger from side to side “No, no, no…too fast!” Moving to stand behind him, he planted his hands on Tommy’s hips, leaning in close, but stopped before actually making full body contact. “We start nice and slow…” his hands moved Tommy’s hips slowly “…need to _tease_ and build up that anticipation, before we really let it all out…” Adam blew softly on the sensitive skin down the side of Tommy’s neck. “… _let all those inhibitions go_ …”

Tommy clutched his guitar with fingers that were turning white… _fuckfuckfuck…_

Adam’s chuckle was the final straw and he stepped away from the enticing heat of Adam’s body, his own nerve endings on full alert of imminent eruption. “Fucking hell, Lambert! Are we making music or a fucking porn movie!”

“Well, there’s an idea!” Adam’s delighted laughter was echoed from the doorway and they spun around to see Bradford, in his usual pristine suit, complete with tie, leant against the doorframe.

“You did say to let myself in this morning…” Bradford nodded at both men “Working hard I see!”

_Hard…oh, yeah…_

Adam grinned “We’re just getting started on a run through of the setlist for Raja’s Extravaganza…there’s coffee in the kitchen, you can be our audience!”

Bradford checked his watch “are you packed?”

“He is!” Tommy chuckled “he’s good to go as soon as the car arrives…”

“Good! I know what he’s like…”

“I _am_ still here!” Adam stuck his tongue out as Bradford moved away to get himself a coffee.

The fun byplay had given Tommy’s body time to reset and he was more than ready to rock when Adam grabbed his mic “Well, I’ve got my boots oooooooon…” launching into the drawn out initial line of lyric.

They fell into their usual routine with Adam singing to him and neither noticed the return of Adam’s tour manager who resumed his position leant against the doorframe and enjoyed the magic of a personal performance.

Nodding in unison as they swung straight into _Shout_ , they let it rip and the room reverberated to the incredible sound of Adam’s soaring vocals and Tommy’s fierce guitar riffs, slaying it in the solo…

Moving into _Shady_ , Tommy suddenly remembered Bradford, glancing across to see him with his back half-turned towards them as he played along on air… Tommy grinned, pressing himself up against Adam as they went for it… _Are you gonna go my way_ was a massive jam and it ceased to be a rehearsal, morphing into pure pleasure and they attacked the last two songs with happy abandon, finishing with a dramatic crescendo.

Panting hard, they bumped shoulders and burst into fits of laughter. “Fucking awesome jam, dude!” Tommy’s grin was wide and his eyes sparkled with life and exhilaration, his entire body buzzing.

“We nailed it, baby!” Adam cupped Tommy’s face and pressed a brief celebratory kiss to his lips.

Bradford’s applause was enough to ground them once more and the three of them dropped onto the sofa to talk through the set. Some minor adjustments were scribbled onto the _Shout_ score and the sheet music was put aside as they delved into the planning and run-out for promoting the free download of _Trespassing_ on the day of release.

An hour later they had a stage-by-stage plan, the first of which would come into operation whilst Adam and Bradford were in China, the idea being to play off the undoubted media attention for Adam’s various appearances in Asia as the first Western artist to be invited to take part in the Voice of China.

Relocating to the roof terrace, they were finishing fresh coffees when the car arrived to take Adam and Bradford to the airport. Bradford shook Tommy’s hand, sharing a conspiratory wink as he picked up Adam’s bags. “See you downstairs, boss…”

Adam grinned and nodded, tugging Tommy in for a hug “I knew I liked him!” He pressed a soft kiss to Tommy’s lips, gently owning his mouth as their tongues danced. “See you in a week, and thank you f…” his words lost as Tommy surged forward to claim a second kiss before turning him around and steering him out of the door.

“Go make us proud, Babyboy…”

He grinned as Adam lingered “Beat it, fucker, I need to start watering your plants!”

“Arsehole!” Adam’s happy laugh faded as the elevator doors closed and Tommy was left alone. Back indoors, he dragged out his laptop and put their plan into action…     

After a busy afternoon with multiple emails, tweets and messages, Tommy had stage one complete; invitations had been sent, Raja’s website looked fucking awesome with her promotional shots and he’d been busy putting together the goodie bag prize packs in their black and yellow edged shipping boxes.

Time for a nap…and if he happened to take a set of Adam’s latest prints into the spare room with him for…er… _company_ …then so be it…

Sated and boneless, he fell asleep…

Stretched out on Adam’s sofa, flicking through the channels, Tommy was more than content. Adam and Bradford had landed safely in China and were right at this moment in the middle of a press party... Tommy didn’t envy him that particular part of the job.

His phone buzzed and he pressed answer without checking the caller ID “Ratliff!”

“TJ…that’s not the way to answer the phone to your girlfriend!”

“Hi, Liz…and we’re _not_ …”

Her laughter was warm and unexpected “I know, TJ, just teasing! We make better friends than romantic partners. Just wanted to say thanks for the invite…”

“No problem, we want to rock this event and really get this new single up there…”

“You’re such a good friend to him…”

Tommy stared at his phone in disbelief, this supportive and understanding version of Liz was a new one and he wasn’t sure it was real.

“Yeah, well, he’s very important to me… _very_ important…”

“I know, and I get that now…”

_What the fuck?_

“I only want to help…” she paused “TJ?”

“Huh? Yeah, still here!”

“I’ve got a few ideas, so did you want to meet up for a drink…or dinner, maybe?”

“Er…”

“Tonight, say, seven at Alfredo’s? I can pick you up if you like?”

“I’m not at…” something stopped him sharing the fact he was house sitting and he backtracked hurriedly “I’ll meet you there…” _fuck, now he was committed to dinner…_

“See you later, TJ, oh and wear something smart!” she hung up leaving him still staring at his phone.  

_Fuck!_

Reluctantly, he stuck the TV on standby and ambled off to the bathroom for a shower. Dry and dressed in smart jeans, a cotton shirt and his leather jacket, he spent some time doing his make-up. Grabbing his keys, he set the alarm code and closed the door behind him.

Dinner was actually quite fun…not because of the riveting company but because the food was fucking amazing and he spent the entire evening answering his phone or tweeting and retweeting anything and everything to do with the upcoming release of the single. Liz protested after the third, fourth and fifth call, falling into a sulk as he chatted to Adam’s mom about the arrangements for the event at Raja’s…

They were onto coffee by the time his phone stopped ringing and he was able to concentrate on his dinner companion. Hiding the amused smile as Liz gave him short, sharp, one word responses to his attempts to make conversation, Tommy took her hand and slotted their fingers together “It’s wonderful that you’re so supportive of everything, I’ll make sure I tell Adam when we skype tomorrow…I know he’s got a few interviews lined up from the interest this campaign has stirred up…” He squeezed her fingers softly “He wants to thank everyone…”

Liz preened at the idea of a public thank you and thawed visibly, smiling and asking about the different things that would be happening. It was a good tempered and enjoyable end to their dinner date and they strolled back to their cars in companionable silence.

Kissing her lightly, Tommy ignored any hints about prolonging the evening, opening her car door for her when she lingered. Her disappointment showed as he closed her door. “Call me TJ, yeah?” she paused as he nodded “and soon!”

Stepping back as she drove away, he grinned and climbed into his own car to head back to Adam’s.

Sliding between the sheets, Tommy cuddled into the t-shirt he’d grabbed when Adam had changed earlier, his eyes closing immediately as he lost himself in that aroma that was just _Adam…_

The next few days raced by; emails, meetings, test transactions and skype sessions to China, New York and Finland meant he was busy almost every waking minute and fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow each night.

After breakfast and a confirmation skype to New York, where Tommy was thrilled by the final product and bounced excitedly much to the amusement of the designers who laughed their faces off, promising to send it on to him at Sutan’s. Signing off, Tommy grabbed his keys and skipped down the stairs to his car. It was going to be a good day.

With a baseball cap pulled down over his hair and dark sunglasses on his face, a tattered backpack on his shoulder and jacket draped over his arm, Tommy was able to blend into the crowds waiting at arrivals without anyone recognising him.

Two flights landed and dispensed their passengers in a thronging mass, with no sign of the tiny blond Finn. Finally, Sauli appeared, his face lit up with his usual beaming smile as he spied Tommy at the barrier. Hugging each other tightly, they each grabbed one of Sauli’s bags and headed back to the car. They were recognised once, a thrilled thirty-something glamorous brunette requesting a quick selfie between them as she bumped into them at the elevator in the car park. They left her smiling happily as Tommy loaded the cases and pointed the car towards home… 

Dinner was a take out and a bottle of wine, the two of them chatting easily about anything and everything they’d been doing. It was a relaxed and enjoyable evening and reminded Tommy of the time they’d spent together in London…not for the first time he appreciated what a beautiful person Sauli was and why Adam loved him so much.

With a hug and light brush of lips, Tommy said his goodnight, shaking his head at Sauli’s invitation to skype with Adam. “You guys need some time, so I’ll see you in the morning…” he managed a grin “give him my love and I’ll see him in a couple of days.” Nodding, Tommy disappeared into his room and if his grip on Adam’s t-shirt was a little fiercer than before as he tried not to acknowledge what was happening in the bedroom down the hall…

After breakfast the following morning, Tommy hugged a smiling and contented Sauli before taking his leave, having miraculously not killed any of the plants during his brief stay! Adam was due home that night at some point and they’d all get together in a day or so to hit the _Trespassing_ trail hard.

As he dumped his laundry into the machine back at home, Tommy couldn’t help the sappy smile that lit his face as he replayed Adam’s voicemail in his head… _no matter what happens in my life, Tommy Joe, you’ll always be a part of me and I love you forever…_

Tommy and Bradford had combined guitar lessons with campaign planning and both were progressing in spectacular fashion. Tommy was planning to unveil the badass rocker that lurked within those pristine suits at the next home gig if he kept up this level of progress, Bradford’s “fuck yeah!” bringing wide grins to both their faces as they went for one more run through of _Shady_ …

The day before the single launch, they received the track listing for the EP, Adam grinning broadly as he played the assembled group the promotional cd. The remixes of _Trespassing_ were bold and funky and would appeal to the clubs, whilst the addition of remixes of _Pop that Lock, Never Close our Eyes_ and _Better than I Know Myself_ gave it a more universal appeal for fans. 

 “Update…” Adam handed the floor over to Bradford.

“Twitter and Facebook are awash with the launch and the links to the download site. We’ve done some test downloads using _Never Close our Eyes_ and it worked like a dream so hopefully, no issues there on the technical side.

Invitations have been well received and we have some big names in terms of music reviews and publications who’ve replied so there should be plenty of press attention.

The prizes for the downloads are packed and ready, with the draw being live on stage at the Extravaganza…we thought we’d give the main prize and goodie bags full attention and then keep a channel open for the rest of the draw whilst we continue with the show programme…” he grinned and adjusted his yellow and black striped tie “…and for that detail, I’d like to put you in the beautiful hands of our grand Lady Raja’s alter ego…”

Cheers rang out for Sutan as he grinned and handed out copies of the flyer with a full breakdown of the events and timings.

The launch of _Trespassing_ single and EP was shaping up to be fucking epic…


	24. Chapter 24

The minimal promotional budget from RCA had obviously been quickly exhausted as there were no spins of the song on mainstream radio, although alternate and LGBT stations had embraced it and were giving it multiple spins and mentions, both on air and on their social media sites. Club DJs were reporting favourable reviews and it was generating interest and requests from their patrons…on the whole it was a positive start to launch day.

Time for stage two!

Breakfast today was a loud and noisy affair at their favourite diner, the owner more than happy for the media attention and free advertising that came with a large group of celebrity guests. Tommy handed out flyers with happy smiles whilst munching on cinnamon whirls and maple bacon doughnuts. It was fun, if somewhat crazy, and after signing umpteen autographs they trooped back to Adam’s for a mass twitter session.

The download numbers were rising steadily and _Trespassing_ was already near the top on the Movers and Shakers chart…

As agreed, they headed off to the club for a soundcheck and final run through of events at midday, the hype now really kickin’ in… _hahaha_ …as the song hit the top of the Movers and Shakers and was climbing the Hot Dance Singles chart rapidly, with progress on the main chart steady, but much slower…

Rehearsal went well considering this was the first time they’d all played this setlist together and there were only a few minor key changes to work in. Everyone was in high spirits as they hit the final kickass notes and silence reigned once more.

Piling off the stage, they gathered in front of the main bar for large glasses of iced water as Bradford checked for the latest stats and twitter activity. With downloads still climbing, albeit, slower than before, and twitter tailing off, Bradford handed Adam’s phone back that he’d recorded IG video snippets from their rehearsal on. After playing through the songs, Adam chose _Shout,_ delving into the frenetic world of social media to post it on both his twitter and Facebook pages. Everyone else shared and retweeted like ripples on a pond…

The result was almost instant and the figures rose once more.

Sutan unveiled the clever tech devices he’d sourced for the downloads for entry to the club and for the _Trespassing_ special cocktail. These were priced at one download and would not be part of Tommy’s competition entries. Mike and Dave would be manning the door along with two of Sutan’s regular staff, whilst Tanya and Elle, Dave’s girlfriend, volunteered to help behind the bar.

Phones rang repeatedly; friends and contacts checking in, either for updates or to get their next assigned task…so far, all was going more or less to plan…

Before they split to continue their individual schedules, Tommy called everyone together for a final rally address. “Thanks for all your support and help and I know we’ve got a long day ahead, to say nothing of an even longer night! I just wanted to say that I couldn’t have…”

“If you go all sap on us I’m going to slap you into the middle of next week!” Mike grinned as he returned the single fingered gesture in response to his interruption.

“…as I was saying! I couldn’t have done all of this without you miserable lot of ugly bastards…” Tommy grinned at the laughter that reverberated around the room “Hope that’s successfully watered down any potential sap value!” He bowed his head regally as Mike held his hands up in surrender.

“Now, I know we’re wearing our _Idol_ outfits for our set…” he turned to Adam as Sutan reached under the bar for a large white box tied in black and yellow tape “but we thought you needed something a little more _iconic_ for the occasion…”

Adam stared at the box, his mouth open at yet another surprise. Ashley nudged him playfully “it won’t open itself!”

Tugging on end of the tape to undo the bow, Adam lifted the top off the box “Fuck! Oh… _fuck that’s…_ ” He looked at Tommy, eyes wide and rapidly filling with tears, overcome...

Tommy grinned and nodded “Put it on!”

Adam lifted the soft leather black and yellow striped, studded Blonds jacket out of its wrappings and slipped his arms into it. It fitted like a glove and felt like a million bucks. Stretching his arms wide, he danced a pirouette to wolf whistles and applause.

“Fucking awesome, dude!”

 “ _How…when…fuck_!” Adam gave up all attempts to get any form of coherent speech out, instead flinging himself at Tommy and hugging him hard.

Tommy gasped as the air was squashed from his lungs and he clung tightly as Adam spun him around at dizzying speed. When Tommy’s feet re-established contact with the ground, Adam cupped his face to kiss him sweetly, the kiss deepening as their tongues swirled happily and senses flew…

Adam’s arms folded instinctively around Tommy’s body, pulling him closer still and their audience faded from existence as they lost themselves in the moment…

A shower of ice cubes emptied over their heads had them leaping apart, gasping as several slithered down the gaps between t-shirt and skin.

“I think that’s cooled them down a bit!” Brian grinned as the assembled friends fell about laughing. Tommy dropped into a chair, breathless, hair wildly dishevelled, eyes glazed and lips pink and kiss swollen. He looked completely debauched and from his lofty position now sat on the bar, Adam gazed longingly and fell a little deeper…

Sutan flicked through the few pictures he’d managed to grab on his phone, shaking his head at what was so glaringly obvious to everyone else, but not to the two lip-locked like their lives depended on it…

Who knew what the future held…

He shrugged, replaced the ice bucket on the counter and got busy with the cocktail mixing.

The day vanished in a blur of frantic activity and it seemed like only minutes ago they’d been gathering for the morning briefing. Now, attired in their _Idol_ base layers, without jackets, they had a final run down the list before the doors opened.

Tommy took a deep breath and looked around him as Sutan and Bradford worked their way down the checklist on Bradford’s thematically appropriate black and yellow edged clipboard. As promised, Bradford was wearing his Trespassing themed tie with a smart black suit. Tommy grinned at the memory of the conversation they’d had the previous day as they’d slayed their practice of _Whataya want from me…_

Bradford had been wearing ripped black jeans, a faded Bowie tour t-shirt and his usual smooth hair was spiked up at the front. The _Trespassing_ tie was knotted loosely around his throat. He’d added black eyeliner and painted his nails in yellow and black stripes. Tommy’s mouth dropped open and they’d been helpless with laughter as Bradford marched in announcing that this was what he’d be wearing to the launch and would anyone notice the difference! The age old saying _still waters run deep_ had obviously had Bradford in mind when writing…

The club was decked in black and yellow ribbons, the staff wearing black shirts with various versions of the _Trespassing_ album cover images on the back. It was immensely satisfying to see Adam’s face everywhere he looked…

The i-tunes charts featured on several screens around the club, _Trespassing_ sitting comfortably at the top of the Hot Dance single chart and was still climbing the regular chart.  

With their pre-flight list complete, Sutan hugged Tommy fiercely, whispered in his ear and took himself off to find his inner hostess. Tommy and Adam linked hands and headed for the door to welcome the first guests.

Phase one of door opening saw the familiar faces of their friends and family…Leila and Neil arriving with Sauli, who’d been busy filming with his TV show all day; Brad and his co-star from _Husbands,_ Sean, and the co-writer, Jane. Brad wrapped Tommy into a warm hug before introducing his companions. They chatted for several minutes before Brad steered them away to the bar citing a parched throat that needed alcohol!

Alla and Matt toasted Tommy as Liz handed him a glass of the startlingly yellow _Trespassing_ cocktail, a black olive completing the colour theme. He sipped it gingerly, knowing precisely what Sutan and his staff had put in it! It was refreshingly good and they clinked glasses with him before moving away to find a table near the front of the stage.

Threading his way through the mingling throngs, Tommy was hauled into a manly hug by Sloane who squeezed hard enough Tommy thought his ribs would crack. “Bloody awesome set up, Tommy boy!” Sloane released him to allow his girlfriend Rosina to hug Tommy gently, pressing a fragrant kiss to his cheek. Grinning, Tommy wound an arm around her waist and led them to the bar where Tanya was waiting with a smile.

“On my tab please, Tan…”

“No, we got this! All for a good cause…” Sloane winked at Tanya “sticking it to those arseholes at RCA is one pleasure I’m very happy to pay for! Can we have a couple of the cocktails please…”

“Thanks, dude, have a good time…I’ll be around after our set…” Tommy waved a hand expansively, covering the whole club “none of this would…”

“Get outta here! Go mingle or whatever you rockstars do!” Sloane punched him lightly on the shoulder and grinned.

Tommy returned in kind and weaved his way back to Adam and Sauli, being pulled into yet more hugs by Sauli, Leila and Neil. Eber had arrived and clapped him on the back. “Looks like being a great night – the queue’s going back two blocks. Fortunately I had this…” he tugged his sleeve up to reveal the black and yellow VIP band “and I had a lovely chat on the walk in with some chap from The Hollywood Reporter who was singing your praises along with Adam’s…poor bastard had no idea who I was until we saw Mike at the door. His face was a picture!” He leant towards Leila “And by the way, he thinks you’re hot!” Eber chuckled loudly, “I offered to introduce you but he turned a delightful shade of pink and vanished! Okay, who’s for a drink?” Laughing, he led the way to the bar, Neil and Leila following.

A waft of familiar perfume and the beautiful Lady Raja appeared at Tommy’s side. “Ready to escort your queen, Vayvee?”

Grinning, Tommy crooked his elbow for Raja to slip her arm through “Might I say, my queen looks beautiful tonight…”

“Your queen _always_ looks beautiful, my boy!” She smiled and led him towards the door, nodding to the security who announced over the PA system that the general public would be allowed entry in ten minutes and the waiting service would be available for anyone who wished to stay in the VIP area.

Adam and Sauli were stood in the lobby talking to Markus, Sven, Larry and Bonnie McKee who’d just arrived. Tommy threw his phone at Adam. “Tweet and Facebook time, dude…”

“Same password?” Adam stepped forward and kissed Raja’s cheek “You look fucking hot in that frock!”

Raja inclined her head, smiling prettily before leading Tommy onwards.

“Glitterbaby?”

“Yep, same as always!”

Adam laughed and tapped in _Adam!Fever,_ logging into Twitter to tweet a five minute countdown to opening, following that with a duplicate entry on Facebook. Sauli retweeted, as did Adam as soon as he’d put Tommy’s phone away.

Outside, the crowds were singing _Never Close our Eyes_ , sudden screams and cheers breaking out as the doors opened. The entry process was carefully controlled, an ID check first before they were allowed through to buy their download in exchange for a green wristband and access to the club.

Despite the huge numbers of people, it was running like clockwork and it looked like they’d have a full capacity crowd. Tommy and Raja greeted everyone as they moved from the lobby into the main body of the club, smiling and posing for photographs for around forty minutes until Tommy had to go and get ready for the prize draw followed by their set...

Kissing Raja’s hand in a grand gesture, Tommy darted away through the crowds, moving quickly enough to avoid being stopped. He loved the interactions with the fans, but tonight he was on a strict clock – and Bradford was a man with a mission when he had a stopwatch in his hand!

Once back in the VIP area, Tommy slowed his pace to allow a few hellos on his way through, patting Lee on the back and kissing Scarlett fondly, who looked amazing in a black and yellow swirling print, figure hugging dress. Sophie and Isaac were chatting with Cam, Sasha and Brooke, pausing in their conversation to fold him into a group hug as they left assorted shades of lipstick prints on his cheeks.

Isaac gave him a pleading look as he prepared to move on and Tommy grinned “Soph, you mind if I borrow Isaac to help me with the draw?”

Already deep in their resumed discussion of natural breathing methods versus medical intervention pain relief during labour and birth, Sophie just nodded and blew her husband a kiss as he scurried happily in Tommy’s wake.

He caught him up as Tommy stopped at the edge of the stage to scan for Adam and Bradford, the latter appearing from the wings to bring out a table, laptop and large projection screen in readiness for the live draw.

Adam was on the far side of the VIP area, one arm draped casually around Sauli’s shoulders as he held him close, the other waving in the air as he described something to a smiling Danielle and her pony-tailed boyfriend...everyone was relaxed and having a good time.

Tommy kicked his green goblins back into their cave… _he’s happy in love…happy Adam means happy Tommy…_

As Tommy watched, Sauli tugged on Adam’s sleeve and pointed at his watch. Nodding, Adam dropped a brief kiss to his boyfriend’s mouth and hopped up onto the stage to join Bradford. Isaac and Tommy made their way up the stairs and the four of them quickly set up everything needed. Isaac volunteered to film the draw on his phone on U-stream, sending out the five minute countdown tweet which everyone quickly retweeted.

Bradford set out a goodie bag ready to show and Tommy picked up the guitar they’d all signed, as Raja reappeared on the arm of a handsome young man Tommy recognised as one of the stars of RuPaul’s Drag race, as yet, still in his day wear!

Ascending the stairs, she took the mic Bradford held out and moved centre stage, Isaac following her movements carefully for those watching via the stream link. “Ladies, gentlemen, queens and queers… _welcome_ to Raja’s Extravaganza!” She blew kisses as the audience screamed their delight. “We start the evening’s events with the live draw – everyone who has downloaded _Trespassing_ using the link on Tommy’s twitter or Facebook pages has gone into the draw and the computer will pick names at random until all prizes have been won.”

Glancing over her shoulder she nodded at Rick “drum roll please!” A hush fell over the audience as the computer scrolled randomly through masses of micro-font sized names…it stopped, the screen flashing up **_Monkeychan1112_**

“Congratulations to our first prize winner of Tommy’s autographed guitar and a goodie bag…well, box would be more accurate!” She turned to Adam “if you would show us the contents of the boxes...”

Waving his hand across the table where the various things were spread out, Adam gave a grin and thumbs up to Isaac’s phone “Congratulations Monkeychan! As well as that wonderful guitar…” he paused as Tommy ran a quick riff on said guitar to massive applause “you also get five exclusive Lee Cherry prints of yours truly, an autographed set of _Trespassing_ lyrics, a Tommy Joe Ratliff guitar pic and a _Trespassing_ wristband which you can wear with kickass pride!”

The phone swung back to Raja. “The next ten names win themselves a goodie box…”

Names scrolled across the screen: **_Insulamea16, Welsh Angel, Dancerjb, Regina, Kristjan, Ikramglambert, Cantletyougo, Liv, Blue Lilacs, StevieH_** as the audience cheered enthusiastically.

“Well done to all of you, we’ll be sending you an email shortly to get your addresses.” She turned to Adam “Now these beautiful people are going to get themselves ready whilst the computer picks the twenty five winners of a Lee Cherry print and then a hundred more will get wristbands. Isaac will continue to stream the draw until it has finished.” Raja handed the mic to Adam.

“Thank you…” he faced the audience “Doesn’t she look fuckin’ hot?” The screams brought a delighted smile and a curtsey from the lady herself. Adam grinned. “You guys ready to party?” The noise level lifted the roof as he handed the mic back and strode off the stage with Tommy.

By the time the band were taking their places, the draw had finished and the stage had been cleared ready for their performance. Isaac had suggested he keep streaming so those watching could see the show as well.

Once more, centre stage, Raja held her hands up for quiet “And now, for your entertainment…” she grinned as the crowd roared their approval and Adam bounded up to her, now clad in his Blonds jacket, to kiss her hand and lead her down the steps into the VIP area.

Leaping lightly back onto the stage they swung straight into _If I had you,_ Adam singing to Tommy in their time honoured fashion. It was wild and fun and they really let it go…energy and love flowing in waves on and off the stage… _Shout_ was followed by _Shady_ and Adam bounced madly as they picked up speed…

_Are you gonna go my way_ brought the house down, cameras flashing like crazy as they slayed it. Tommy’s solo had Adam rockin’, their matching grins huge as they totally lived it in the moment. ”C’mon Tommy, hit it hard…yeah, gimme more…yeah, go, Tommy…”

The club reverberated to the sound of everything rock, the atmosphere electric…

Ashley’s bass picking out the immediately identifiable beat of _Dragon Attack_ had the decibel level rising still higher and it had long ceased to be a performance as such, now a killer jam with many, many friends…

Adam strutted and rocked and pressed up against both Ashley and Tommy as they lost themselves in the music, pure joy on their faces… Pausing to gulp some water, Adam was serious for a minute; sincere and humble in his thanks to his band, his family and friends and “you…my wonderful Glamberts…I love you all for supporting me and my music and letting us have so much fun up here playing…”

He replaced the water bottle on the ledge “…and what can I say about this guy?” Adam draped an arm around Tommy’s shoulders “…the one who started this whole crazy campaign to kick ass and get _Trespassing_ out there…” He wrapped a blushing Tommy into an emotional and sweaty hug “love you Tommy Joe…”

The crowd went wild…

His colour deepening, Tommy’s butterflies swooped and soared happily as they kicked into their final song, _Trespassing_ … _wait till ya get a load of me…_

An emotional band group hug followed the final notes as the audience continued to scream for more. “Can we?” Adam grinned as everyone nodded “Purple Haze and Music Again?”

“Awesome, man!” Brian leapt at his keyboard as the others took their places and checked tuning and settings.

Glancing around to check everyone was ready, Adam grabbed the mic “You guys want some more?” He laughed, overwhelmed as the noise drowned out any further attempts at speaking.

Tommy hit the initial bars, that distinctive Hendrix rhythm, as Adam launched into the song, surprising himself – and everyone else –“ _excuse me while I kiss my guy…”_ by jumping down into the VIP area to pull Sauli into a hard fast kiss, slapping his boyfriend’s backside before skipping up the steps back onto the stage as he continued the song into the guitar solo…

“C’mon Tommy…gimme some Jimi…” Adam flicked his tongue at Tommy’s ear, pressing up close behind him... _fuckfuckfuck gonna…just…_ Tommy let his emotions out and the room rocked…

Without a pause they segued into Music Again, laughing as Adam had a lyric fail and la-la-la’d his way into the bits he did remember… It was an epic jam, the crowd clapping along and they could’ve kept playing all night, regretfully bringing it to a close with a soaring note and an Adam kiss blown to the audience as they took their bows and left the stage.

There was elation and hugs all round as they gathered backstage, everyone talking at once…

Bradford herded them out, tapping his stopwatch to remind them the next act was due and would be needing the space. Grinning, they followed him obediently. All except Tommy who was commandeered by Raja to help her change into her _Trespassing_ frock for her own command performance.

Everyone else regrouped in the VIP area. A table had been set aside for them with two suitably decorated champagne buckets and a tray of glasses. 

Tonight was about celebration…

…of love, loyalty, talent and integrity…

…realness in a tangled world.

Adam turned to Sauli as he picked up the first bottle “Pop that lock?”

Sticking his tongue out, Sauli moved in beside him and pulled his phone out “smile!” Goofy expressions were captured in the first of many selfies that night. Clinking glasses, they dropped into chairs to enjoy the drag show, the three queens currently on stage giving it all as they belted out a stupendous serving of _It’s raining men…_

Backstage Raja was working her magic and the next performers were almost ready.

Thunderous applause greeted Raja as she sashayed out in her skin tight _Trespassing_ dress, black feather boa, five inch killer heeled boots and a crown atop her gorgeous head. “I’m a _Diamond crowned Queen_ and _you_ are my bitches…”

As the music began and she swayed provocatively, six more beautiful queens joined her and writhed with her in turn as she worked her way around the stage. Each queen had a different print, long sleeved dress and scarf, high heels and pouting lips that glistened with promise…

Selecting one from her entourage, she ground up behind her… _come with me…I’m gonna love you tonight…_

Spellbound, looking up from his seat in the VIP area, Adam caught his breath as the chosen one threw her head back to allow her Queen Raja to lick a long strip up the side of her neck…not only was this fucking hot, there was something familiar in that luscious throat, huge liquid brown eyes and those perfect lips…lips that were now crushed against the Diamond Crowned Queen’s own, smearing gloss over her pretty face, before Raja pushed her conquest onto her knees and tugged off the scarf to reveal a thin leather collar. It was pure sex…

A snap of gloved fingers brought a lead and riding crop from one of the rejects who delivered the supplies and retreated to her place dancing behind the main event.

Clipping the lead to the large ring on the collar, Raja whipped her new possession’s arse twice with the crop “ _Come with me to my pretty, pretty palace!”_ The roars were deafening as everyone surged to their feet.

As the shimmer curtain dropped, Tommy caught Adam’s eye and a thrill of desire pulsed though him at the heat smouldering in that all too brief connected gaze… _I’m gonna give you my love…_

Standing carefully, he stood next to his Queen and her company as they all took a curtsey. The rejects filed off to leave Raja and Kiki to take another bow, before Raja tugged on the lead and led her away.

Adam sat back down, his mind whirring as he processed what he’d just seen… _what he thought he’d seen…_ barely registering the beautiful rendition of the next performer who was absolutely nailing _If I were a boy…_

Backstage, Raja was hugging Tommy Kiki to a pulp as they laughed helplessly “fucking fantastic job, Vayvee. I’ve said it before, you’d be fucking awesome on the circuit if you ever give up guitar!”

Tommy grinned as he adjusted his wig. “You know I’m never leaving him!” He pressed a kiss to her cheek “…but thank you for the ego boost and that was so much fuckin’ fun!”

The last group of singers moved elegantly from the green room to perform a medley of Donna Summer songs, MacArthur Park their climatic ending to a rousing display of song and dance as they spun across the stage.

As the final notes died away, Raja returned to the stage to riotous applause. “That’s your lot, bitches!” She held her hand up for quiet. “We came here tonight to launch _Trespassing_ as a single and I think we blasted it to the fucking stars!”

Appreciative screams drowned her next words and she grinned, waiting it out. “Now, all that’s left is for Adam to present our lovely ladies with their bouquets…”

Bradford had the flowers ready, as Adam climbed the stairs to hand each queen a bouquet and plant a soft kiss to her cheek as her name was called. As Kiki was announced, Adam held onto her hand a little longer than needed, bending his head to whisper “Nod if you’re wearing lace knickers my pretty little sexy kitty!”

Supressing a wanton moan at the throaty growl against his ear, Tommy nodded and bit his lip as Adam chuckled and his warm breath sent goose bumps running riot over Tommy’s skin. “Such a pretty picture, Miss Kiki, we’ll be talking about this later!” He handed Kiki her flowers and pressed his lips to the corner of her mouth. “You look utterly beautiful…”

Blushing fiercely, his butterflies in wild flight, Tommy took his place alongside the other supporting queens, as Adam joined Raja centre stage to present a giant bouquet to “my perfect and wonderful Queen with all my love and thanks…”

Taking his hand she dipped a curtsey and folded him into a warm hug. His voice cracking, Adam held on tight and announced into the mic “now to party, have a fucking good time everyone…”

As the lights dipped another level, the Benny Benassi remix of _Trespassing_ blasted out through the speakers…the party was off with a bang!

With Kiki’s frock and eyelashes put away for another day, Tommy rejoined the others. As he gratefully accepted a cold beer from Ashley, Bradford was relaying the latest chart and social media updates. Adam clutched Sauli’s hand as he fought back happy tears; twitter messages of support had flooded in from those in the entertainment world – Nile Rodgers, Sam Sparro, Adele, Nancy Sinatra, Pharrell, Brian May, Roger and Ru Taylor, Simon Cowell, Joan Rivers, Ellen to highlight a few - and many publications had highlighted the success of the launch platform. As a result, _Trespassing_ now stood at number three in the main chart…

Checking his email, Adam’s mouth fell open and he handed the phone to Tommy, those tears now trickling down his face as Tommy read the brief message **Proud of your launch success Adam. Look forward to discussing Album 3 shortly. Congratulations. Enjoy your night.**

“Way to go, dude…” Tommy wrapped his arms around Adam and Sauli together, squeezing tightly as Brian, Ashley and Isaac joined the mass hug.

When he was released, Adam waved one of the waiters over and asked for more champagne…

It was one hell of a party; the drinks flowed freely and they danced with wild abandon. At one point they ventured out of the VIP area to mingle with the fans and take photos, finally stumbling back to their respective homes in a fleet of taxis at three am for a couple of hours sleep, only to be en route to the airport by seven.

Only Bradford looked his usual unruffled, pristine self as he herded them through passport control and security to a private room in the first class lounge where they collapsed into easy chairs and sofas, promptly falling asleep once more.

“Look after him with my love…” With Sauli’s words ringing warm in his memory, Tommy cuddled in close, snuggling under Adam’s arm to rest his head on Adam’s chest as they sprawled, scruffy and unshaven on the comfortable sofa.

A sleep, a shower and a belated breakfast later and they were boarding their flight to New Zealand, lively chatter batting back and forth as they re-lived the highlights of the previous night.

Settling into his seat next to Adam, Tommy grinned and decided that he fucking loved his life…  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Raja Extravaganza performance based on songs from Paso Robles 7/19/13 for the energy, fun and commentary.
> 
> Thanks to dancerjb for the pre-read of this chapter :))


	25. Chapter 25

The next few days were a holiday for Tommy and the rest of the band as they explored the sights of the city, delighting in the warmth and welcome of the New Zealanders. For Adam, it was a full on agenda as he worked press days with wall-to-wall interviews, a CD signing in Auckland and guested on a variety of TV shows, including a brief, but highly entertaining stint as a weatherman on Breakfast TV!

It was hard and relentless work but Adam revelled in the challenges and made the most of the fun opportunities when they arose; getting into a _You’re the one that I want_ duet with one of the female radio presenters, much to the delight of the listeners.

Tommy accompanied him for some of the radio interviews, marvelling anew at the poise and professionalism of the man he adored, as he answered the same questions time after time, managing to make it sound fresh and new for each successive presenter…

Now he lay stretched out on Adam’s bed, as Adam flicked through twitter on his phone, then on to check out various charts and reviews of Raja’s Extravaganza, reading some bits out loud to Tommy and chuckling to himself over others. Warm and comfortable, Tommy yawned, his eyes closing despite his insistent internal plea for them to remain open.

Moments later Tommy was asleep.

Adam moved across from the window seat where he’d been basking in the sunshine and gazed down at him, taking in the long sweeping eyelashes, milky white skin and the contented curve of soft kissable lips… _he’s so beautiful…_ A sudden image of Tommy as Kiki flashed through his head and he bit back a moan; lusting after your straight best friend was the road to ruin… _the road he was so far down he couldn’t see the beginning in his rear view mirror!_

Sighing wistfully, Adam retreated to the window seat and sent a quick message to Rick, Brian and Ashley, cancelling his and Tommy’s participation in any dinner plans.

**Ha! Poor baby, we wore him out! ‘k bossman we’ll see you and Teebie at breakfast. I won’t let the boys misbehave, promise! Ash x**

Ashley’s was the politest reply and brought a fond smile to Adam’s face. He loved this Glamily of his. Tapping a suitable reply to each, he checked the time and shoved his phone back into his pocket.

Settling his laptop on his knees as he leant back into the alcove, he logged on to skype and clicked on _call_ …

Sauli answered on the first ring, his smile bright “Ad-am…I was waiting in case you call…”

“Missing you baby…” Adam’s voice was soft, mindful of a sleeping Tommy just a few metres away.

“We have all night?”

“As long as you want…what time’s your flight?”

“Midday. I will be leaving for the airport at nine. Everything is packed ready…”

They talked quietly, swapping news of their days and making plans for when Sauli would be home again.

An hour later, Adam kissed his fingers and pressed them gently to Sauli’s mouth on the screen as he whispered his goodnight “mina rakastan sinua”

Sauli’s answering “I love you too” echoed through his head as he switched off his laptop and walked back to his bed where Tommy was now curled up in a ball, his hair over his face. He looked cute as fuck and Adam grinned, snapping a quick picture on his phone before kneeling on the bed and gently brushing the wild mop of blue hair off of Tommy’s face.

The movement was enough to stir Tommy from slumber and he opened his eyes slowly, blinking against the light. “Welcome back Sleeping Beauty!”

Tommy stretched luxuriously, the movement lifting his t-shirt to expose a glimpse of pale stomach, belly button and the start of a trail of hair that disappeared into the denim riding low on his skinny hips.

For a split second their eyes met and Tommy gasped at the heat blazing from within those deep blue pools. Tearing his gaze away, Adam reached across him to grab the room phone, attempting to disguise the rasp to his voice as he dialled room service “Pizza with the works and some of your shitty lite beer okay?”

His mind reeling, everything _Adam_ flooding his senses, Tommy managed an affirmative half-grunt, half-squawk and forced himself to wriggle out from underneath Adam’s enticing body arch, sliding off the bed and staggering to the bathroom.

Once he was safely behind solid oak, he grabbed the basin and stared at his reflection in the mirror. _You’re on a hiding to nowhere…give it up now…_ Suitably chastised, he splashed some cold water on his face and dragged his fingers through his hair, restoring the wild bird’s nest to something more reminiscent of his usual style. A quick check in the mirror once more confirmed the return of control and order. He took a deep breath and grinned… _pizza and beer…bring it on!_

Adam was back on his laptop, sat at the table, when Tommy emerged from the bathroom. “Better?”

“Yep! I needed that nap, bloody fuckers walked my legs off today!”

“So Ash said earlier when I told them to go to dinner without us…” he chuckled “she found it most amusing!”

The single finger was a perfectly suitable reply and they both burst into giggles, any residual tension vanishing as they leant against each other. Adam pointed at the screen “Trespassing is still up there with the leaders and the pre-orders for the EP put it in the top five…” He rested his head back against Tommy’s chest as they watched the pages scroll past on automatic refresh. “Thank you, baby…you made this happen…”

“Nah! _You_ made it happen with your shit hot music!” Tommy grinned and jammed his chin into Adam’s shoulder to breathe against his ear “all I did is draw attention to shit that was already there!”

Nodding solemnly Adam reached for Tommy’s hand and slid their fingers together “Then I guess its official – we make a fucking awesome team!”

Before either could say anything further, a tap on the door announced the arrival of room service. Tommy bounced across to let them in as Adam sorted out a tip and the waiter retreated with a generous denomination of folded NZ dollars in his pocket.

Opening two of the beer bottles, they clinked them together “To us!”

“Yeah!”

Pizza demolished and crispy potato wedges with sour cream thoroughly enjoyed, they dumped the tray outside the door and settled down to watch a film. As the final credits rolled, Tommy untangled himself from Adam’s warm embrace and slid off the bed, pecking Adam lightly on the lips before heading for the door.

“See you in the morning Babyboy…”

Adam mumbled drowsily and rolled over, asleep before Tommy had even made it back to his own room opposite.

After a lively breakfast; during which Adam shared his picture of a sound asleep Tommy, tickling his ‘cute little pretty kitty’ under his chin and a helpless-with-laughter Tommy had threatened to release his collection of Adam drunk-dancing videos for general viewing; Bradford called time on their antics as they were due to board the bus in thirty minutes and he hadn’t seen anyone check out yet…

Rolling his eyes at his busload of excitable children, Bradford herded his giggling charges to the elevator. “Ten minutes…”

With his quiet, but firm, instructions ringing in their ears, they bounced back to their rooms to finish their final packing and were all duly assembled in the lobby within the allotted timeframe.

Grinning fondly, Bradford followed them onto the minibus and nodded to their driver. “We’re good to go!” As the vehicle edged out into the traffic, he sat down and plugged his earphones into his ears, closing his eyes as they got onto the highway and the bus picked up speed.

Adam nudged Tommy “What d’you think Bradford’s listening to?”

“Classical, definitely something middle of the road…” Brian stuck his head through the gap in the seats to give his opinion “I really like him though!”

“ABBA” Ashley suggested with a thoughtful smile “he looks like an ABBA kinda guy!”

“No, it’ll be easy listening…y’know mild and harmless… _calming_ …like he is…nice stuff, just nothing that sets the world on fire…” Adam grinned as they all gazed at Bradford “but whatever it is, he’s a real cool guy and c’mon guys – that tie was epic!”

Tommy snickered to himself, his eyes picking up the tiny movements of Bradford’s fingertips as he rested his hands in his lap. The man was listening to their practice sessions that he’d recorded… He schooled his face into careful contemplation as the others turned towards him, their expectant silence waiting for his suggestion “Hmmm, maybe it’s some kind of audio book? Mom always has those things on in the kitchen, Pride and Prejudice, period drama kinda stuff? Or, it could be some educational shit…”

Rick bellowed with laughter as the others shook their heads “You really talk crap sometimes T-bone!”

Tommy stuck his fingers up good humouredly, leaning into the touch as Adam ruffled his hair “you know if Terrance was here, he’d have us all betting on it!”

“Did I miss something?” Bradford was gazing at them with a bemused expression as they laughed like demented hyenas.

“Just old band stories…” Adam spluttered as Brian elbowed him in the side. “We didn’t mean to interrupt your…”

Catching Bradford’s eye, Tommy winked, getting a minute nod of the head in return. Message understood!

“I’d love to hear some of your stories…” Bradford moved back another row of seats as he switched off his ipod. “I was only doing some studying…”

“Fuck!” Rick looked at Tommy in awed respect, laughter at Rick’s expression echoing around the bus.

The rest of the journey passed in a blur of memories; good times shared and hilarity that knew no bounds…

Before they knew it, they were in flight. A day at the races beckoned…

After collecting their luggage and passing through immigration, they were back on another minibus heading to their temporary home at a hotel alongside the race course. Once checked in to their rather nice bungalow in one of the more secluded areas of the hotel grounds, they bundled into a modest people carrier for the short drive to the course for their soundcheck.

“I know it’s a day early, but as tomorrow is major race day and your performance starts immediately after the last race, if we don’t soundcheck now, you won’t get one at all!” Bradford grinned at them “and once soundcheck is done, Melbourne awaits you…”

“Fuck, yeah! Shopping! You and me Glitterbaby…” Adam’s exuberance had the others chuckling and Tommy rolling his eyes knowing what an Adam shopping trip entailed! Adam was still enthusing about all the things he wanted to look at when they arrived and piled out of the car.

The stage was like a wedding marquee with the sides removed, a large TV screen set high on the wall behind them, to allow people at the back of the audience to have a clear view. The sound echoed horribly as they attempted _Trespassing_ for their first song and it took some considerable tweaking of mic, bass and guitar levels to stop it vibrating back to them, even allowing for a full audience… Once set, they rattled through _Trespassing_ and _Kickin’ In_ only to flounder once again with _Chokehold…_

As always, there were interested fans and others peering in to see what was happening. Adam waved for a stop and after a brief word with Bradford, leapt down to encourage the onlookers to come in under the canopy. After explaining what he needed, Adam returned to the stage with a thinly spread trial audience, Bradford joining them in a variety of different locations to feed back the sound experience.

Finally finding the appropriate levels for _Chokehold_ they moved on to _Outlaws of Love._ After the first line Adam shook his head. “I’m not getting it…” he frowned “with all the trouble with the others, I don’t think we’re going to be able to do this one…it’ll show up every fucking blemish… _fuck!”_

He stood motionless in the middle of the stage, eyes closed as he gripped the mic stand. The others waited, recognising the signs of problem solving in extreme _Adam_ mode…

Long minutes passed until the serious expression gave way to a triumphant smile. “Okay, if the sound distorts with the bass, we’ll do an acoustic segment; so _Outlaws_ will be just me, Tommy and a muted Rick…” He grinned “that's _muted_ not mutant, although we’ve all heard the rumours!”

Rick laughed “You’re just jealous!”

“In your dreams!” Adam flipped him off with a grin and a body roll that did nothing to disguise the well-filled jeans.

 _In my dreams…my hands on your body…_ Tommy gazed at Adam as he thrust his hips rhythmically, Adam suddenly remembering they had an audience and fun though it was to bait Rick, it wasn’t the time or place…

Tommy’s mind wandered, recalling how Adam had felt in his hand… _hot and heavy, skin smooth and sensitive to every touch…_

“Earth to Tommy!”

“Huh?”

“Are you ready to check Outlaws? Just you and me…” Adam raised an eyebrow and the images hovering at the edge of Tommy’s consciousness rushed his mind, pink flooding his pale cheeks. Adam’s eyebrow arched still higher and he leant towards the blushing man “you can tell me later!” They both knew he wasn’t referring to the soundcheck question…

Dragging his thoughts away from the enticing pictures swirling in his head, Tommy swapped his guitar and played a test chord. Satisfied, he nodded and fixed his eyes on Adam, waiting for the signal to start as soon as everyone else was ready.

“We’ll go just guitar and vocals, add in what you think we need for definition to the sound…we’re on half volume for the drums so…” Rick tipped his sticks and the sound guys gave thumbs up.

Making brief eye contact with each, Adam settled on his stool and hummed the first bars, Tommy playing the stripped back version from their radio tour days.

An immediate hush fell over their trial audience as Adam’s voice rang out pure and clear and they lost themselves in the emotion of the lyrics.

The applause from the onlookers and sound crew alike confirmed their decision, adding a similarly slowed down _Whataya want from me_ to the acoustic set.

After sound-biting the rest of the setlist just to make sure the adjustments made so far carried over to every song, Adam thanked their trial audience and they prepared to head back to the bungalow before hitting the city centre.

Bradford offered to drive them in and pick them up as and when they were ready to return, having declined any invitations to join them because he needed to study, his offer eagerly accepted as they grabbed jackets and clambered into the car. Last to leave the bungalow as he waited for Bradford to pick up his phone, Tommy waved towards his room “if you wanna use a guitar, my spare’s in the wardrobe!” He grinned “have fun and I’m looking forward to rockin’ it with you at rehearsal next week…you’re gonna blow their fucking minds!”

Grinning back, Bradford shut the door behind them. “Just hope I don’t fuck it up!”

Reaching the car, the subject was dropped and the reaction of the mini-audience from soundcheck was discussed as they joined the main highway. Smiling warmly, Bradford shared his freshly Googled information as he dropped them at Chadstone ten minutes later. “This is apparently _the_ fashion capital and has five hundred and thirty stores…” he chuckled at Tommy’s groan “enough to keep Adam happy and then some!”

Leaping out and jamming his baseball cap onto his head, Adam bounced on his toes “C’mon guys, shopping to do!”

Once all had disembarked, Bradford reminded them to call him when they wanted picking up and vanished back into the stream of vehicles.

Adam draped one arm around Ashley’s shoulders and the other around Tommy’s “Okay, lunch first then we shop!” He leant down to murmur in Tommy’s ear “You can have Tacos and coffee…” grinning when Tommy sighed theatrically and told him to lead on…

Lunch was loud and fun, Taco Bill’s food and service both excellent and they left with pleasantly full tummies and some useful shopping tips from their waiter, also called Tommy! Tommy the waiter grinned happily at the generous tip and autographed menu they left him as they split up to shop, arranging to meet for a drink in a few hours or back at the bungalow if they’d shopped enough.

Ashley headed towards the designer fashion stores with Rick, wanting to buy something nice for her boyfriend, Brian only wanted sunglasses and announced his intention to find a decent bar before heading back for a lazy afternoon. Down to just the two of them, Adam beamed at Tommy with bright shining eyes and that hopeful puppy dog look he knew Tommy couldn’t resist…

“Where to first?”

Adam linked their fingers together “Well, first I want to look at jewellery, I want to get mom something and maybe a watch for dad…then I thought we could look at the boots…” he grinned “you know how much I love boots! A man can never have enough pairs of boots! Then I might look at something to wear for tomorrow, not really sure about that jacket I brought with me, it’s not quite right now I’ve seen the place…and maybe I should get something for Danielle for her birthday, I know it’s not till next month but we’re gonna be so busy I should really sort it out now…”

Tommy followed willingly as a buoyant and happy Adam continued to talk about the things he wanted to do, see and try, the warmth of Adam’s hand wrapped around his own and the joy in his voice as he indulged in one of his favourite pastimes, enough to seal the contented smile on Tommy’s face as they went from shop to shop…

An hour later they’d picked up a rather nice watch for Eber from Angus and Coote and a stunning bracelet for Leila from Georg Jensen. Tommy had chosen a set of aquamarine teardrop earrings for Liz’s birthday, ignoring the wink Adam had given him as he’d handed over his credit card. Shoving his card back into his wallet, Tommy very deliberately laced their fingers back together “she’s a friend and nothing more and it’s a combo gift for her birthday and her finally setting up her band…”

Adam’s gentle smile washed away the rising irritation that accompanied the usual _you can’t say anything, he belongs to Sauli…he’s totally happy in love…_ blinking away a tear as Adam squeezed his hand “I just want you to be happy, Glitterbaby…”

_I’m happy that you’re happy…_

“…oh! Wow, look at that!” Adam’s attention was diverted by the window display in Calibre, Australia’s premier designer store for men’s fashion. “C’mon, I gotta try that on!”

Happily saved from any more consideration of the place Liz held in Tommy’s life, they were heading to the changing rooms with three different suits and an array of shirts. The changing room was bigger than Tommy’s bedroom back home and completely mirrored on every wall.

Tommy hung two of the suits and all of the shirts onto the rail in the open-fronted wardrobe as Adam kicked off his shoes and unzipped his combats, wriggling out of them with an effortlessly sexy hip gyration that had Tommy almost drooling and his entire blood supply heading south. 

_Thank fuck he had the first suit to hide behind…_

Adam held his hand out for the pants, increasing the pressure on the already straining seams of Tommy’s jeans as he slithered into them and posed, checking his reflection from all angles. Seemingly satisfied with what he saw and completely oblivious to the serious throbbing below Tommy’s waistline, Adam shed his jacket and top and pondered, toned bare torso on display, as he held each shirt up in front of him.

“Which one goes best with this?”

Tommy’s molten brain had been prepared for the question and he was able to mumble an appropriate reply, adding a pointing finger for clarity.

Adam’s wide smile suggested he’d got it right, if it had been a test, which obviously it wasn’t, it was just Adam shopping and trying on clothes… _Adam stripping in front of me…get a grip Ratliff…and I don’t mean that kind of grip!_ Tommy smothered a giggle which, had it been allowed to escape, would have been both girly and highly embarrassing, and, added to the obvious boner bulging out of his pants, would’ve been totally inappropriate…

He took a deep breath in… _control…_  

_…control restored…_

_…the hell it was…_

Whilst Tommy’s head and corpuscle control had been arguing, Adam had covered his delightfully naked chest with said shirt and was now shrugging into the jacket which he’d taken from Tommy’s outstretched arms...even lost in lustful internal battles it seemed Tommy could still anticipate Adam’s needs!

“It’s perfect!” Twirling across the floor, Adam stopped in front of him “whataya think?”

The white suit had a massive horse’s head on the back of the jacket and the large splashes of black across the rest of the jacket and pants were made by the mane and tail, giving it a living, if rather startling, look. It was _totally Adam_ …the textured black shirt just enough to balance the whole ensemble.

“It’s definitely you!” Tommy turned Adam back around to face the mirror and smoothed the fabric down across his shoulders, a tiny smile curving the corners of his mouth as Adam unconsciously leant into the touch “…and if you wanted something themed for the show…”

“Sold! Thanks, baby! Now, let’s try these others…”

The other two suits were tried and rejected, but two other shirts made the grade and Adam was beaming as he handed over his chosen items for the assistant to take across to the counter. Not quite ready to call it finished with this particular establishment, Adam explored the vast accessories section, selecting two belts and a scarf that he declared was “totally Sauli…”

Tommy’s smile was only slightly strained at the happiness in Adam’s voice and he even managed to chuckle as Adam winked suggestively, adding there were lots of different things to do with a scarf…

The ache was eased when Adam then pounced on a yellow hat with a black band and two black feathers and sat it on Tommy’s head. “I have to buy this for you, Glitterbaby, it’s perfect! _You’re_ perfect…” the warmth in his voice had Tommy’s grin so bright it would’ve eclipsed the sun if they’d been outside and he nodded, hat bobbing in place…

Adam’s final selection was a purple tie with brightly coloured horses heads on, which he gathered up with a giggle “For Bradford! If he can do _Trespassing_ , he can do the races!”

“Right, let’s get paid and out of here. Lots of shops still to see!” Shaking his head fondly, Tommy followed Adam to the counter where his suit and shirts had been carefully packed. Adding the hat, belts, scarf and tie to the hanging bag, the assistant rang up the total and Adam handed over his card without flinching at the astronomical total.

When Adam asked them to hold it for him until later, the true value of the store’s reputation became clear as they took an address and assured him it would be delivered within the hour…

If it was possible, Adam’s smile shone brighter than ever.

Four shoe shops later and they had two new sets of boots – one high heeled and glittery and one low, black false lace-up - and a pair of powder blue creepers for Adam and a pair of brown wedge heeled ankle boots for Tommy which Adam had insisted on buying for him. After arguing that he could buy his own boots, Adam had sighed sadly at the assistant and rested his head on Tommy’s shoulder, his wistful “but I just want to spoil you, baby…” bringing a sympathetic smile to the assistant’s face and Tommy had given in, rewarded with a kiss to his cheek and a whispered “thank you, baby” as they left with their purchases.

Tommy’s phone rang as they stopped outside yet another shoe shop “Ash…how’re you doing?”

Tommy grinned as he listened to Ashley’s suggestion “why not, Adam’s going to be wearing livestock so I can go wild too!” He chuckled “hang on…” He nudged Adam who was studying a pair of cherry red patent leather lace-ups with a thoughtful gaze “you fancy meeting Ash at the Theobrama Chocolate lounge? It’s…”

“ _Chocolate?_ Fuck, yeah! I think we’ve shopped enough to work off some chocolate!” Adam’s attention on the red shoes was lost and they followed Ashley’s directions to meet her outside what had to be the most mouth-watering selection of chocolate cakes and cheesecakes ever seen in captivity! Despite the plentiful servings of tacos only a few short hours ago, both their stomachs growled at the sight of the tempting array.

As they were shown to a table, they swapped updates on their bandmates. Brian had bought two pairs of sunglasses, a couple of pints and an early ride home to snooze the afternoon away; Rick had ably assisted in the choice of gifts for Ashley’s boyfriend back home, encouraged her to buy herself a cute blue hat plus picked up some jeans and a new travel bag for himself before taking their collective shopping back to the bungalow to chill out watching the sport on TV…

Ashley handed over the product she’d seen “it’s Rainbow Rinses, it reacts to the current colour of your hair and changes it but you don’t know what colour it’ll go until it dries – kind of a hair colour roulette! It’s not permanent though and washes out after a few shampoos…”

“We’ll do it when we get back…” Tommy laughed “I love the fucking randomness of it!”

Adam ruffled Tommy’s blue locks “I kinda like your blue…but I’ll help you when we get back…”

At the thought of Adam massaging his head, Tommy’s circulation made an abrupt southerly charge, congregating in an excited group below his waistline. He squirmed on his chair, dropping his menu on the floor so he had an excuse to duck down and adjust his trousers.

Emerging, he found himself looking up into the greenest eyes he’d ever seen as the waitress stood by their table to take their order. She smiled and her nose wrinkled prettily, abundant freckles dancing as delightful dimples appeared in her cheeks. Wisps of deep red hair escaped from the scrunchie she’d tied the rest of her hair up in and her full lips parted to show white, even teeth. Without realising it, he gasped, sat himself up and muttered “wow!” much to the amusement of his companions.

Blushing, he stared at his recovered menu, ordering a chocolate hazelnut cheesecake slice and a chocolate coffee when his turn came. The pink hue deepened as her hand brushed his as she reclaimed his menu and he bit his lip, staring down at his lap… _what the fuck?_

As Jennie, according to her name badge, hip-swished away, Adam bumped his shoulder affectionately “good to see you’ve still got an eye for a pretty girl, eh!”

Attempting to laugh it off, Tommy was cursing furiously in his head at his unintentional underlining of his heterosexual label in Adam’s eyes _fuckfuckfuck NOnono! it’s all wrong…I want you, not some gorgeous redhead…with dimples and freckles…fuck! That’s it… **freckles** because **you** have freckles…_

“I was embarrassed because I practically had my head up her fucking skirt when I came out from under the table!”

“Yeah, course you were!” Adam teased, highly amused, especially when Jennie reappeared with their drinks. She smiled at Tommy as she placed his coffee in front of him.

“Thanks”

“You’re welcome…” the pause was noticeable, but she scurried away without saying anything more.

“I think you’ve got a fan there…”

Tommy rolled his eyes expressively as Adam continued to tease him, giving Ashley a grateful smile as she asked Adam about his shopping so far, thus distracting him from his current pursuit. It worked so well Adam barely paused when their cheesecake arrived, nodding a thank you before resuming his description of the horses head jacket, and not even commenting as Jennie paused in front of Tommy to ask if there was anything else she could get them…

Heaving a silent sigh of relief, Tommy smiled and delved into his giant slab of sinfully decadent chocolate cheesecake, sucking it slowly off the fork as memories of his first ever lunch meeting with Brad ran through his head…

Losing himself in memories of times past, Tommy revelled in the perfect blend of the richness of bitter dark chocolate with the sweetness of the hazelnut, suddenly becoming aware of Adam staring intently at him and Ashley watching Adam with a grin on her face.

“Huh?”

“You were moaning like a cat in heat!” Adam whispered as he leant in close “it was so fucking hot!”

“Oh! Sorry!”

Adam tipped his face up to kiss him lightly “Never be sorry! It was hot!” he paused, breathing into Tommy’s ear “and now I’ve upset our waitress…”

Jennie’s smile was not as bright as before as she gathered up their plates and offered more coffee.

“…I think she saw me kiss you…I could explain?”

“No!” Tommy shook his head hastily “let’s just pay our bill and get back to shopping…you still need something for Danielle’s birthday…”

Ashley watched the disappointment flare on Jennie’s face as the two men whispered together. “I think the children have had enough coffee and cake for now!” she winked “I don’t let them out very often!”

Jennie laughed “I’ll just get the tab…”

Tommy paid, adding a large tip for Jennie and the three of them headed to yet another jewellery store where Ashley helped to choose a necklace for Danielle. From there they wandered through the different shops, stopping to buy popcorn and candy in vast amounts for their movie night in, before calling Bradford to come and collect them.

Dumping his purchases on his bed, Tommy opened the wardrobe to see a note stuck to his guitar case **Done my homework, just need teacher to check it!** Grinning, Tommy carefully peeled off the note and tucked it into his pocket. They were going to blow everyone’s fucking minds when Bradford picked up the guitar at rehearsal next week!

Movie night was the usual riotous fun and they tumbled off to their rooms just after 2am.

Race day dawned and they were out, suitably attired for the occasion, mingling with the race-goers by midday, grinning at Bradford’s tie which now matched Tommy’s hair. Adam had an interview scheduled for three o’clock so they chose him a horse in his absence, screaming like fuck when it romped home first…with a name like _Adam’s Luck_ it just had to win, right!

After a thoroughly enjoyable time, they returned to the bungalow after Adam’s interview to change for the performance. Deciding that he’d clash with the rug if he wore the whole suit, Adam elected to wear black pants, the new textured shirt and the horse head jacket, teaming it with the powder blue creepers which he adored too much to take off, even though they didn’t technically match the rest of his outfit!

The crowds cheered enthusiastically as they took to the stage, kicking off with _Kickin’ In…_ The multiple adjustments they’d made the previous day held true now they had a full house and Adam bounded happily around the stage. _Shady_ was followed by _Trespassing_ , a huge roar as Adam reminded the audience this was his new single…

It was a show for items of clothing…a generous cup sized pink bra appearing from the audience much to Adam’s bemusement as he draped it across the monitor at the front of the stage.

Tommy’s hat received multiple accolades, the camera swinging across to him every time he put it back on after forgetting he was wearing it and head banging along to the beat so it fell off! Ashley’s snappy blue hat was much better behaved and stayed put throughout the performance…

 _Outlaws of Love_ brought tears to many eyes as the audience fell silent after Adam’s impassioned introduction, the ovation following it overwhelming as they moved on to _Chokehold_ and _Whataya want from me_ to complete the acoustic set.   

Picking up the pace once again, Adam grabbed Tommy’s hat from the speaker where he’d put it before swapping his guitar to play the previous songs and plonked it on his head, the angle looking cute as fuck on top of his beautiful purple hair as he sang _Naked Love_ to his best friend…

 _Never close our eyes_ was followed by their final number and encore _Cuckoo_ , Adam dropping to his knees on the rug as he really let it go. Band introductions saw him teasing Tommy about his purple locks and the audience lapping up the playful banter… _gonna party till they take us away…_

It was a good night…

Bleary-eyed, they fell into the car at way-too-early o’clock the next morning, heading to the airport and their flight home. Bradford looked at his sleeping charges and grinned. He loved this job!

By the time they’d checked in and found breakfast, everyone was feeling much livelier, exploring the airport’s shops and lounges with enthusiasm until their call to board…

A fourteen and a half hour flight, minibus journey back from the airport and jetlag later, Tommy lay on the sofa in the wee small hours, nursing a large tumbler of Jack as he channel hopped restlessly, despite the tiredness dragging lead through his veins. Pouring the amber coloured bourbon down his throat, he flicked onto the horror channel and closed his eyes, eventually lulled to fitful dozing by the screams of the masses as they fled Godzilla…

The TV was off and the apartment was quiet when he finally surfaced. Mike or Tanya had thrown a blanket over him at some point and left a glass of water and a tub of aspirin on the table…they knew him so well!

He checked his phone. He still had time for a leisurely shower and breakfast before he was due at Adam’s to start sending out the prizes from Raja’s Extravaganza. Pouring some coffee he ambled off to the bathroom, where a gentle soaping of bodily parts mixed with memories of Adam’s throaty whisper about lace knickers conspired to produce an impressive boner…which was firmly dealt with, leaving him grinning inanely and tottering back to his room on wobbly legs…

Finally dressed in battered jeans and a Freddie Mercury t-shirt, Tommy set off for Adam’s. After a warm hug which lasted far longer than perhaps it should… _okay, maybe he shouldn’t have clung on so tightly…_ they took fresh coffee through to the dining room where the table was piled high with goodie boxes, stacks of Lee Cherry prints and a massive bag of wristbands. Tommy’s guitar was propped up against the wall next to a packing box. Alongside that, the printer was set up with address labels and Bradford had kindly forwarded all the details of the winners to Tommy’s email. It was going to be a busy morning.

Checking his email first as Adam dragged up a chair beside him and rested his head on Tommy’s shoulder, Tommy huffed contentedly. “Looks like we don’t have to ship the guitar. CJ – or Monkeychan1112 – is coming to the Arizona show so she can pick it up there if you’re okay to do the meet and greet?”

“No problem…” Adam snuggled closer.

“Cool, one down! Oh, couple more here, Liv and Welsh Angel are also coming to Arizona so two less goodie boxes to post.” He bumped his head against Adam’s “make yourself useful and jot that down on the list!”

Adam mumbled under his breath as he stretched for Bradford’s neatly printed list of prize winners which was just out of reach of his fingertips. Laughing, Tommy leant with him so Adam’s head didn’t have to move from his shoulder and the list was duly snagged, dragged to the front and annotated with the appropriate details.

Allowing himself a few minutes of complete immersion in everything _Adam,_ Tommy checked through Twitter and Facebook so they could stay where they were, regretfully clicking on the _print labels_ to set the printer in motion and by definition, ending their cosy sat down closeness…

Nudging Adam to move, they fell into an almost efficient production line of packing, labelling and ticking off on the list, sorting into domestic and international as they went…

They’d worked their way through the goodie boxes and the Lee Cherry prints and were about to start on the wristbands when Adam’s phone buzzed. Tugging it out, he grinned “Sauli…”

Tommy quashed the green tendrils that sprouted instantly at the undoubted love gleaming in Adam’s eyes as he read the message from his boyfriend. “He wants to skype…I’m guessing it’s about his flight tomorrow…”

“I’ll go make us some fresh coffee…” Tommy dropped the handful of wristbands he’d pulled out back into the bag and stretched carefully to work the kinks out in his neck “I need re-caffeinating!”

“Then come and say hello – he always asks about you so he can see you himself…” Adam chuckled “oh, and grab some of those vegetable chip things too…”

Snapping his heels together, Tommy pulled a quick salute “Yessir!” he laughed as he headed to the kitchen and Adam logged on to his skype…

Tommy hummed under his breath as he tipped away the old coffee and scooped in some fresh, filling the machine with cold water and flicking the switch to _on_. As the coffee began to filter, he filled the time by skipping through the latest _In Rock_ magazine that lay on the counter.

Coffee finally brewed, he poured two mugs and stuffed two bags of veggie chips inside his t-shirt in lieu of an extra pair of hands, making his way back to the dining room.

“I don’t understand! Why the fuck are you staying longer? You fucking promised…” Adam’s voice resonated with a mix of hurt and anger “…just a few days you said…”

Tommy stopped in the hallway, not wanting to intrude or eavesdrop. Glancing around, he debated where to go as Sauli replied, his words muffled across the link.

“It’s _always_ work…” Adam sighed loudly, drowning Sauli’s response “but at least I actually come home when I _say_ I’m coming home…” an edge of bitterness crept in as Tommy eased the sitting room door open with an elbow. About to cross the threshold he paused as he caught his name… “You’ll miss Tommy’s birthday…”

Biting his lip, Tommy stepped into the room and put the mugs down on the coffee table before moving over to the open window “Do whatever! I don’t give a fuck! Just…oh, I don’t fucking know…yes, of course I still love you…” Adam’s resigned sigh drifted through from the dining room window “and I _am_ proud of you…I just miss you…”

Leaving the mugs where they were, Tommy left the room and retreated back to the kitchen where any conversation was too distant to hear. Dragging his phone out, he replied to the message from Bradford, confirming their practice session for that evening…tomorrow would see the unmasking of the _easy listening_ rock monster! Tommy opened the audio of their last practice session, closing his eyes as his listened to the notes…Bradford had improved way beyond his expectations – the man had an innate rock and roll pedigree that Tommy couldn’t wait to drag further out of the dark recesses it had been lurking in for so long. Grinning as the track ended, he shoved his phone back into his pocket and killed time by emptying the dishwasher…

Adam stared moodily at the blank screen where Sauli had been moments before. Yet again their plans had to change because something else had come up in Finland… _yes_ he was stoked that his boyfriend’s career was going up in leaps and bounds and, _of course_ the modelling shots were hot as fuck and they always celebrated each new show, set or contract with some mind-blowing welcome home sex…but sometimes he just wished Sauli was _here…or at least when he fucking said he was going to be…_

Gazing around, he remembered Tommy had gone to make coffee and unless he’d gone to Brazil for the beans, he’d been gone way too long! Attempting to shrug off his bad mood, he abandoned his laptop and went in search of his best friend.

A quick glance into the sitting room revealed two mugs of lukewarm coffee but no Tommy. Adam’s despondency returned tenfold; Tommy had obviously returned with the coffee, heard him and Sauli arguing and headed for the hills… _fuck, now his domestics were fucking up his friendships…_

Still muttering under his breath, Adam continued onwards to the kitchen, coming to an abrupt halt in the doorway as the very cute arse of one Tommy Joe Ratliff was waving in the air as Tommy bent down over the dishwasher.

“Oh!”

Tommy looked around and stood up. Waving his hand at the general surroundings, he shrugged “just being useful, dude…”

“You’re still here!”

Tommy’s face fell “I can go if you want to be alone…sorry, man, should’ve thought and left earlier when you were…” his voice trailed off, not wanting to say he’d overheard some of the conversation.

“No, baby! No! I want you here… _please stay.…_ ” Adam’s eyes clouded over and his voice dropped to a low whisper “He’s not coming home again…he _promised_ he’d be here for your birthday party...”

“’m a big boy now, don’t need parties! Beer and pizza’s good! C’m here!” Tommy opened his arms and Adam flung himself into them, hugging tightly. “What the fuck?” They sprang apart as a crunching sound and a strange sensation pressed against their midriffs.

“Hahahahaha oh fuck! I forgot about them!”

Adam peered at the two crushed bags of vegetable chips that were now on the floor at their feet, his bemused expression only causing Tommy to laugh even harder as he tried to explain.

“Haha, I had a coffee in each hand…hahaha…and no hands left for the chips so I stuck them up my t-shirt and…”

Adam started laughing, more at a helpless, giggling Tommy than anything else and they leant against each other, weak and breathless. It felt good to let go…

Composure restored, Adam folded Tommy back into his arms “I saw the coffee left in the sitting room and thought you’d bolted…”

“Nah, didn’t wanna intrude on your…” Tommy paused and huddled closer into the embrace “er, your _discussion_ so I went in there to wait, but the windows were all open so I could still hear you talking…”

“…you heard us fighting…” Adam’s voice was muffled as he mumbled into Tommy’s hair.

“You needed privacy so I came back in here. I forgot about the chips!”

Adam’s arms tightened around him “I don’t know what I’d do without you…”

“Never leavin’ so won’t be a problem! Now, we done enough packin’ for today so let’s get out of here! Get your jacket!”

Mirroring Tommy’s actions of earlier, Adam snapped to attention and gave a smart salute “Aye aye Cap’n”

Five minutes later they were parking up at Echo Park. Buying them each a take-out coffee, Adam linked their hands and they set off on a leisurely amble around the lake, neither saying much as they drank in the serenity of the location.

It was an enjoyable and relaxing afternoon and Adam was totally chilled when they made it back to his apartment to watch their favourite movie. He was yawning as the opening credits rolled across the screen and snoring loudly by the third scene.

Knowing he was in serious danger of falling asleep himself if he stayed put, Tommy slid carefully off the bed so he didn’t wake Adam, and scribbled a quick note before pulling his boots back on and heading for home.

Once indoors, he sent another message to Bradford, set his alarm on his phone and crashed out the sofa…

The evening practice went well, Bradford arriving complete with pizza and beer as requested, and after playing both songs several times, they planned the morning rehearsal unveiling down to the last detail…

 _Rock monster_ was gonna be epic!


	26. Chapter 26

The practice room buzzed with chatter and the usual banter as instruments were set up and sheet music handed around. With everything set, they sat in their usual circle on the floor to work out the tweaks and variations to the setlist for the Arizona State Fair performance.

“I think we should keep the acoustic set in the middle – that went down really well at Caulfield…” Adam glanced around as the others nodded. “Do we want to change the setlist or is there still enough in there to keep it fresh? Maybe add an extra one to extend it…I think sometimes when I don’t interact as much, it finishes up a bit short...”

The ensuing debate centred over the addition of Fever – an undoubted crowd favourite from GNT – or another song from _Trespassing..._ Arguments were posted, votes were cast and _Broken English_ was duly added to the set, sliding into place after _Whataya want from me_.

Brian extended the bridge in _Kickin’ In_ and they scattered to their instruments as Bradford’s phone rang. “Ah, Johannesburg about your interview next week…be back in a bit!”

The door closed behind Bradford and his call as they launched into _Kickin’ In…_

After playing it twice, the bridge was adjusted once more and several key changes noted down on their sheets. A final run through saw both Adam and Brian nodding agreement. One down!

Ashley kicked off with the first bars of _Shady_ as Bradford returned. He nodded in response to Adam’s questioning look “Interviews are all set for the 26 th…” Moving to the back of the room and his usual chair, he pulled out his familiar notebook and dropped it on the small table next to the bottles of water, as Ash kept the bass line ticking waiting for the others to join in.

Tommy grinned and flexed his fingers…

No-one noticed Bradford taking off his jacket. His sleeves were rolled up, revealing a striking Metallica symbol tattoo on his forearm, and he loosened his tie to undo his top two shirt buttons, before smoothing the strap of Tommy’s second guitar over his shoulder…

“ _No I ain’t broken but I, I need a fix…”_ Adam’s voice rang out as Bradford picked up the beat, walking over to join Tommy. _“…’cos I’m feeling so Shady lately…”_

The drums stopped.

_Come on and take me underground…_

Keys stopped.

_Deep under the street…_

Bass stopped.

_Come on and take me, take me down…_

Adam swung around, his mouth forming goldfish circles as two guitars rocked…

His mic hit the floor.

Tossing their heads wildly, Tommy and Bradford laughed it out, just slaying that funk disco rhythm.

As they picked themselves up off the deck, Rick, Ashley and Brian jumped back in…

Adam threw his head back and roared with laughter “Fucking awesome!” 

Retrieving his mic, he stuck his index finger up, pulling a circle and they switched back to the start, a grinning Bradford throwing himself into the back-to-back with Adam as they rocked the soundproofing off the walls.

The final notes died away and a split second of silence reigned before the room erupted with everyone talking at once. Tommy high fived Bradford and the pair were surrounded as everyone else clapped them on the back, questions firing from all sides.

Rehearsal was temporarily suspended.

“What the fuck…no, _where the fuck_ did that come from?” Brian bumped Bradford’s shoulder before turning to Tommy “and you… _sneaky little shit!_ ”

Bradford chuckled, dropping an arm around Tommy’s shoulders. “Tommy’s been teaching me…” he grinned “so I _really have_ been studying as opposed to listening to all that classical, easy listening, and middle of the road stuff!” He grinned “but, honestly, rock and blues are _so much more_ my thing!”

Adam held his hand out “that was a real good job and you both totally surprised the fuck outta me – I didn’t see that one coming at all!” He shook Bradford’s hand warmly. “So you gonna jam with us?”

“I’d love to, but I’m new to actually playing and the only other one I can play is _Whataya want from me…_ ” Bradford shrugged in mock sorrow “what can I say, my boss for my day job is a real slave driver and I don’t get much time to practice!”

Laughing delightedly, Adam punched Bradford lightly on the shoulder “sounds like a right bastard! Consider your duties added to from now on – guitar lessons three times a week! Tommy Joe…”

Grinning, Tommy ducked under Adam’s outstretched arm and tucked in close to his side, looking up demurely through his eyelashes “Yes, Adam?”

“Giving me those beautiful doe eyes won’t get you off a spanking for being one sneaky little fucker…” Adam gulped as sudden visions of bending Tommy over his knee and spanking that non-existent bare arse sent a surge of heat to his groin and his voice took on a rasp as he attempted to control certain wayward regions “I’m putting you in charge of Bradford’s musical education…lots of homework and practical workouts! Let’s have him playing the full setlist by Shanghai…”

Adam tugged softly on Tommy’s purple hair “now, unless you have any more surprises for me…”

_I love you…and have done since day one…_

_…and if Fever had gone back in the setlist my lips would pine for yours every time we played it…_

_…and I’m a fucking sap_

“Nope, we’re good! The Kiki one’s not ready yet…” playfully pinching Adam’s backside, Tommy moved back to his spot and struck a pose “ready to play, Babyboy…”

Grinning, Adam rolled his eyes “We’ll pick it up from _Trespassing…_ ”

Rehearsal resumed with everyone in high spirits.

As the last notes of _Chokehold_ died away, Adam turned to Bradford, sat making his usual notes for the journal they hoped, eventually, to turn into a blog… “Time to grab your guitar… _Whataya want…_ ”

Laughter rang out at the speed Bradford leapt to his feet and scurried to join them, his face lit up like a kid at Christmas...

With rehearsal completed to everyone’s satisfaction, they packed into a booth in their usual diner for lunch and to get the full story of Bradford’s alter ego…

“Dad died when I was sixteen and the last promise I made him was to get a ‘proper job’ so I could take care of mom and my sister. I worked as an office junior clerk by day, studied for business management by night; weekends were spent either on assignments or sorting out household stuff and running Suz around…” He smiled sadly “…there just wasn’t any time left for my dreams. Anyway, having passed my exams I got a job with an independent TV company and eventually elbowed my way into the music archive and scheduling wing.

I stood in for the regular producer one day when he was involved in an accident on his way to work, hosting the monthly scheduling meeting. Suddenly it occurred to me that I could combine duty with pleasure and two interviews later I was working for Universal Music Publishing Group… It was a fierce apprenticeship and I quickly learned to pay attention to the details, under-promise and over-deliver…

I worked hard, met people, listened…well, that’s the abridged version...” He grinned “I worked with all sorts of different artists and bands but I really wanted something… _someone_ different. So, when I heard through some of my contacts that you would be needing a tour manager…”

Adam slapped him on the back “You came highly recommended and you’re way more than a manager…you’re officially part of our Glamily…”

“Tommy sussed me out that night at G.A.Y. when we were talking and he offered to teach me to play so we could shock the fuck outta your arses…” he grinned “your faces were a pretty picture for sure.”

Reaching across, Adam ruffled Tommy’s hair “I won’t forget I owe you a spanking!”

Heat flooding his cheeks and spreading rapidly southwards, the words were out of Tommy’s mouth before he could stop them “Looking forward to it!” He bit his lip… _too fucking much…_

For the second time that day, Adam was rendered speechless, the others cracking up as he reprised his imitation of a fish out of water.

Tommy breathed a sigh of relief as nobody called him on his too-close-to-truth balls-up and the conversation moved on to all-time top concert performances…

_Got away with that one, thank fuck…._

Lunch extended into late afternoon as they explored the world of music; bands, songs, albums - old and new and those still yet to come. It was a buoyant and happy group who finally took themselves off to their respective cars.

Tommy arrived at Adam’s at shit-early o’clock according to the friendly greeting that met him as he leant against the doorframe to Adam’s bedroom. Attempting to ignore the adorable mussed hair and pouting lips, Tommy shifted his attention to Adam’s bare torso, freckles just begging to be kissed… _shitfuckbugger…_ Removing himself from temptation, Tommy fled to the kitchen to make coffee.

They were on the road at seven precisely, Bradford’s unveiling as a true blood rock monster having no effect whatsoever on his organisational skills and demanding attention to time schedules… He had, however, added a vibrant new tie-dye rainbow electric guitar music tie in deference to the new cool image he’d unleashed “Christmas present from my nephew, Ian, last year” in response to Tommy’s teasing “I’ve got one that’s just perfect for you - from his twin sister, Jacqui…” Chuckling, he dragged his phone out and clicked on a saved link “I love the stuff on this site! Here…”

“Hard Rock Cat tie?” Tommy grinned “cute!”

“Oh, I’ve got more! Every Christmas and birthday since they worked out I’m into music! Not just ties – tees, bags, hats, mugs…” Bradford smiled fondly “they’re good kids, well not kids any more, but y’know… I’m hoping to see them when we go to Texas – been a while since I got over there.”

“We’ll make sure they get passes and stuff…” Adam dropped into the seat behind them and stuck his head through the gap. “We’re gonna watch _Rock of Ages_ if you fancy it” he grinned “Tom Cruise is just the cutest movie rock star ever!”

“Uh uh!” Tommy shook his head as Bradford made moves to get up “ _you_ have homework to do!”

Chuckling at the exaggerated sigh, Tommy handed over his ipod “Guitar masters: Hendrix folder first, close your eyes and try to visualise the moves. Note how the sounds fit together. Next lesson it’s Brian May…” he winked up at Adam “I’m too good to him…”

Adam patted Bradford’s shoulder sympathetically “And you thought your day job boss was a slave driver! I’ll bring you some popcorn…”

“Thanks, boss!” Grinning, Bradford plugged his earphones in and was lost in _Purple Haze_ before Adam and Tommy had made it back to the rest of the band.

The six hour journey passed in a tarmac-trawling blur of movies, dozing, junk food and too much candy, courtesy of a fan of Ashley’s who’d made her a travelling survival chest full of sweet treats.

Hyper and on a massive sugar high, they bounced off the bus in Phoenix and checked in to their hotel. After a short briefing as they drank some exceptionally good coffee in Adam’s suite, they split to their own thing for a couple of hours before soundcheck followed by an early dinner. Ashley took herself off for a swim, Brian opted for a snooze and Rick headed for the gym after too long sat down on the bus.

After exploring the roof terrace with some breath-taking views of the Phoenix skyline and surrounding mountains, Adam and Tommy went for a stroll around the hotel grounds.

“So what d’you wanna do on your birthday?”

Shrugging, Tommy’s gaze fell on a young couple leant against a tree just to their left. Their arms were entwined and bodies pressed close, lips just a breath apart as they gazed into each other’s eyes. As Tommy watched, the man moved his hand to cup his girlfriend’s face as he brushed their mouths together in the softest of kisses…

 _I want that…_ it cut him to the core as his head unhelpfully switched the couple for Adam and Sauli, leaving him bereft and acutely aware of the aching emptiness of unrequited love. 

_Fuck…_

Tearing his eyes away, Tommy looked back at Adam, his brain playing frantic catch up as Adam offered suggestions for his birthday celebrations.

“Are you listening to me, Glitterbaby?”

“Huh, yeah. No party, no club, no fuss…”

“We were going to take you to a show and dinner…” Adam paused, a fleeting shadow crossing his face “I know Sauli isn’t here, but we can still…”

“How ‘bout we go for lunch once we get back home? We can all have breakfast together in the morning and we’re going to be travelling most of the day. We can hit Morton’s the day after…and Sauli might be home by then…”

“I have no idea when the fuck he’s coming home” a note of wearied frustration crept in “apparently he’ll let me know when.”  Catching Tommy’s concerned expression, Adam forced a smile “It’s fine, baby, and I’m thrilled that his career’s taking off…it’s just we seem to spend more time apart than together. Now, c’mon…” Grabbing Tommy’s hand, Adam broke into a gentle jog, tugging Tommy along after him.

“What the…” Tommy’s eyebrows rose “no fucking way!”

Apparently, that didn’t cut it, as ten minutes later they were peddling hard in an appropriately coloured yellow and black paddle boat out on the lake. After a few false starts and some impressive water-based doughnut circles with accompanying drenching splashes, much to the amusement of the staff member grinning from the dockside, they sorted out their co-ordination and set off at a steady pace.

Much laughter and a little wobbly-legged from all the exertion later, they were wending their way back to dry land and the pre-arranged pick-up for soundcheck.

Safely landed on terra firma, they made haste towards the hotel lobby. Being late was not an option if they wanted to avoid the wrath of the Bradford rock monster! A burst of speed saw them within sight of the meeting point and with no-one else yet in attendance they slowed to a more comfortable pace. Draping his arm around Tommy’s shoulders, Adam squeezed him gently “Thanks, Glitterbaby…”

“What for?”

“You listened, didn’t judge… _and_ you let me drag you into a boat…”

Tommy grinned “it’s why I’m awesome and why you love me!”

“Modest fucker…”

“Always, Babyboy, always”

Shoving each other playfully, they leant against the wall to wait for the others.

Soundcheck was a much easier affair than their previous one and, aside from the initial adjusting of resonance levels, the five songs they checked, including the newest addition, performed without incident.

It was a loud and exuberant group who packed into the elevator back at the Clarendon Spa. A rapid shower and change of clothes and they were gathered around the table up on the sky deck, tucking into the delicious array of Mexican, French and Vietnamese cuisine from the hotel’s renowned Gallo Blanco café and bar.  

When they’d eaten their fill, Bradford checked his watch “Meet out front in fifteen minutes. You’ll have a couple of hours to wander around the fair before I need the rest of you back stage, Adam you’ve got an interview with Fox10 so I’ll need you forty minutes earlier. I’ve got some cool headgear if you want to go incognito but you’ll have to cover your tats with long sleeves…” he chuckled wickedly, leaving them burning with curiosity as he refused to elaborate further.

“I love his spark now he’s out of his plastic wrapping!” Ashley grinned as Bradford practically skipped away from them, his face plastered with a huge grin. “Nice work, Teebie!”

The approval rating for the new and improved Bradford was unanimous and they hurried to their rooms to collect jackets and bags.

The showground was vast and thronging with people as far as the eye could see. A brief flash of the pass on Bradford’s clipboard had the barrier moved to allow them through and they were parked in moments.

“Check times, please…” It was the usual request to make sure they’d all set appropriate alarms before they were set free.

Satisfied, Bradford nodded and opened the sports bag at his feet, pulling out baseball caps with a variety of attached hair pieces. Tommy jammed a long dark ponytailed black cap on top of his purple locks, tucking his own hair carefully out of sight. With sunglasses added he was unrecognisable.

Ashley giggled “This one is definitely you!” She handed Adam a battered blue denim cap with a mass of red curls, squealing with laughter as he put it on and blinked owlishly from over the top of his glasses. “Your mom wouldn’t know you in that!”

“Sold!” Adam grinned “Are we out to play?”

As Ash rearranged her long blond locks, Rick and Brian opted to keep their own hats and they tumbled out to explore.    

With no-one giving them a second glance they roamed around the stalls and displays, trying their skills at darts and hoopla and other traditional fairground sideshows. Ashley was thrilled to win a small teddy bear with an Arizona State Fair 2012 multi-coloured tie around its neck which she immediately named Bradford in honour of their much beloved manager.

Adam and Tommy headed back before Adam’s alarm went off, leaving the others to play a little longer. “I asked security to bring our three winners backstage and I’ve upgraded their seats to the VIP section…” Tommy adjusted his cap “I quite like having a ponytail but it’s fucking hot under this hat!”

Adam brushed his curls off his face for the umpteenth time “know what you mean, baby, but it was fun just blending in without being recognised. We’ll have to do it again – _you_ can have the curls and I’ll have the ponytail…

Bradford was chatting with the Fox TV presenter and camera crew as they approached, tugging their disguises off quickly and dragging their fingers through their hair in an attempt to restore their expected appearance.

As Adam settled on the sofa with a mug of tea and got on with his interview, Tommy had changed into his stage garb and he and Bradford were preparing to greet the three winners who were collecting their prizes in person. Ashley, Rick and Brian were now changing in the dressing room, laughter floating out down the corridor. Everyone was in high spirits.

“Yeah…we’ll meet them at the door” Bradford cut the call “our ladies are here”

Sticking his head around the dressing room door, Tommy grinned at Ashley chasing Rick with her suspender belt and the entertaining suggestions of what she was going to do when she caught him. “Make yourselves decent guys, we’re gonna be having visitors in a few…” he chuckled as Ashley flicked her belt as Rick’s backside.

“You’ll keep Jordan!”

“You still gotta catch me first!”

Shaking his head, Tommy headed down the hallway to the stage door where the three young women were waiting with nervous anticipation, accompanied by a security guard.

“Ladies…welcome, great to see you…” he nodded at the guard “we’re good, thanks.” The door closed behind him as Tommy held his hand out to the smallest of their guests, smiling warmly when she took it and he tugged her in for a hug. Releasing her from the hug but holding on to her hand he grinned. “Hello..?”

“Keri”

“Hello Keri! Shall we go and meet Adam and the rest of the band?” He chuckled as she nodded, lost for words, instantly noting the delightful Adam-like freckles and pale skin. Squeezing her hand once more, he moved on to hug the other two lovely ladies, CJ and Liv before leading them back to the main backstage area. Adam had finished his interview and was shrugging into the sleeveless yellow and black leather jacket he’d worn for the G.A.Y. performance.

As Tommy introduced each in turn, they were folded into one of Adam’s amazing hugs…the kind that flooded your senses and took you to another plane of existence… _I could lose myself forever in that embrace…_

Tommy gathered their cameras and took photos of them with Adam, Bradford took pictures of them with Tommy and then a group shot with the rest of the band once they’d been introduced. Finally, they had some pictures as their prizes were handed over.

After a brief tour of the backstage area, they returned to the green room. Tommy expounded the art of the riff to CJ and Keri who were both taking guitar lessons, borrowing his prize Fender back from CJ to demonstrate the opening bars of _Whataya want from me_ which, as Keri’s favourite song, was the one she was currently learning how to play. Across the room, Adam talked costumes with Liv… It was relaxed and informal and the perfect pre-show atmosphere.

With fifteen minutes to showtime, Bradford escorted their guests out to the VIP area, promising to collect them for the after party at the end of the performance. He left them chattering excitedly, new friendships forming rapidly…

The screams and cheers rose to deafening proportions as the band took their places on stage, Adam bounding up to the mic as they rocked into _Kickin’ In._ They followed that with a funk driven, body popping _Shady,_ Adam singing it up close and personal to his best friend and shit hot guitarist to leave Tommy on hyper alert and hopping all over the stage. This was shaping up to be a cracking gig…

 _Trespassing, If I had you_ and _Pop that Lock_ had the crowds dancing and waving as they segued into an organic unplanned band jam _Thank you for letting me be myself,_ slowing the pace with dimmed lights and a seated, impassioned acoustic delivery of _Outlaws of love…_ Sipping his tea – and requesting refills all round – Adam introduced _Chokehold_ and the story behind it to appreciative screams from the audience. As Adam moved in close, Tommy rested his head on Adam’s shoulder and for the briefest of moments it was just the two of them caught in their own time…

As Adam moved away he flashed Tommy a tiny smile… _their smile…_ sliding effortlessly into _Whataya want from me_ and then into a sultry _Broken English…Sauli’s song…_ “C’mon Tommy Joe…” Adam’s call for his guitar solo bumped Tommy from the contemplative replay of Adam’s comments earlier in the day and he threw himself into it to roars from the crowd.

As they played the first notes of the next song, Adam held his hands up “Hold those notes…” he peered out into the audience “what time is it?”

The others grinned, knowing full well this part of the plan, as Tommy looked quizzically at Brian “what’s he on about?”

Shrugging, Brian suppressed his chuckle until Tommy turned away to gaze back at their leader.

The audience had now supplied 8:04 and Adam was beaming “you guys, so here’s the thing, in just a couple of hours our very own Tommy Joe Ratliff is gonna be 31 years old!”

_Oh fuck!_

Tommy couldn’t help the grin that spread over his face as Adam draped an arm around him and pulled him in close “so we’re gonna sing _Happy Birthday_ to Tommy Joe and convince him that 31 is not that depressing…” Adam laughed “we were backstage and it was ohh thirty one…that’s not sexy! Last year, thirty was sexy, but like thirty one…what is that?”

Adam tugged him closer as they listened to the shouts from the audience. “Thirty one’s the new twenty one?” Tommy grinned at one suggestion from the front row. “’cause we know what we’re doing…” _I have no fucking clue what I’m doing…_

“Yeah, that’ll work! Mind control at thirty one! So, ladies and gentlemen, together…”

As one, the band and audience launched into a rousing tuneful rendition, Tommy mock conducted and wiped away a tear, laughing as the crowd cheered and Adam held the final note way longer than anyone else. As the Arizona Veterans Memorial Coliseum erupted into screaming applause, Tommy hugged Adam and high fived Brian and Ashley, bouncing on his toes back on his spot as Adam ruffled his hair “You like Tommy’s purple hair? What is it...shades of…Enlightenment or something? Sorry, Phoenix…let’s sing!”

With spirits high, they launched into _Naked Love_ , Adam oozing sex appeal and energy from every pore as he urged someone to take something off. A pair of boxer briefs landed on the stage. Without pausing the song Adam held them up, turning them around to show printed hand prints on the butt cheeks. Laughing, he tossed them back out into the audience and dug his hand under the waistband of his combats to show he was wearing the _Trespassing_ trunks he’d been given a few concerts before.

The high jinks continued into _Cuckoo,_ acting out the crazy train and clowning around the stage as they celebrated the love and togetherness with the crowd. Everybody shone in their solos but the night was Tommy’s, Adam’s “C’mon Tommy, give it some…” pushing him to meaner and harder riffs and licks as he made his guitar sing, before swinging back to his spot and caging his inner tiger to resume his Pretty Kitty shy smile once again.

With the audience cheers and applause still ringing in their ears, they headed for the after party and a huge birthday cake with flickering candles to accompany another chorus of _Happy Birthday…_ Clinking bottles and glasses with three hugely excited young women, a grinning Bradford and rest of the band, Tommy leant into the warmth of Adam’s body and revelled in the fucking awesomeness of his life…

Thirty one… _bring it on…_


	27. Chapter 27

Tommy groaned and dragged the quilt over his head as his alarm blared out. His mouth felt like the bottom of a bird cage and his head… _shut the fuck up…_ if he could just swap it for one minus the demolition mob…

A hand snaked out to quash the still trilling alarm.

Tommy blinked, his bleary eyes adjusting to the gloom of his haven under the covers to give him a rather delightful view of the hem of Adam’s t-shirt riding up to reveal a glimpse of stomach and, beyond the snug fitting boxer briefs leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination, deliciously toned and freckled thighs…

The groan became a moan…a wanton and needy moan…

Adam’s chuckle floated above him and those luscious legs he was unashamedly drooling over moved, as Adam ducked under the quilt to join him. “Morning, birthday boy. How’s your head?”

The newest sound escaping was neither groan nor moan, more a strange hybrid, but it seemed enough to suit Adam’s requirements as his beautiful grin lit up their under-bedding world “You _were_ hitting the Jack hard last night…”

“I’ll take your word for it…don’t remember a fucking thing after the shots contest with Rick. I hope his head’s fallen off, the fucker!”

“You don’t remember your birthday waltz with me?” Even without seeing his face, Tommy knew Adam was pouting.

He shook his head, wincing at the mass of crashing china inside it.

“Well, it was more _Queer as Folk_ prom scene than waltzing, but it’s the thought that counts, right…”

_Fuckshitbugger, how did I fucking miss that? Bollocks!_

The grin returned, “everyone videoed it so it’s probably all over Twitter by now!”

This time it was a proper groan.        

“I’m kidding! We _did_ dance, sorta, and Ashley filmed it, but it was just our group and no-one’s sharing it…” the mega-watt smile flashed “we looked pretty hot, even if we were pissed as farts and you dance even worse than I do…”

“Thank fuck for that…” Tommy’s relief was heartfelt. “What about…” his forehead crinkled as he groped in the murky recesses of hung-over brain space for the names he needed “CJ, Liv and Keri…” his voice softened “she was the redhead with the cute freckles just like yours…”

“They departed very happy, with lots of photos and hugs, before the _after_ after party got going!” Adam arched an eyebrow “You think my freckles are cute?”

_Oh fuck! Me and my big fucking mouth…_

“I think _all of you_ is cute, Babyboy, _includin_ g your freckles…” _and your lips and how they curve when you smile, and the dancing sparkle in your eyes, and how your skin glistens when you’re on stage…_

He zoned out for long blissful moments…

“Hey!” Adam’s foot nudging his leg had Tommy re-joining the present with a jump and he looked up towards the muted daylight where Adam had moved to the far reaches of the bedclothes and that no-man’s land where they met with the outside world.

“Huh? What!” Tommy sounded a grumpy bastard, and he knew it.

Adam’s throaty giggle and the gentle stroke of his hair sent delightful shivers chasing through Tommy’s traitorous body and he bit back a whimper.

His hand stilling for a moment, Adam smiled fondly “Are you coming out yet?”

_Fuck, yeah, I wish…maybe if you were single…_

_…but you mean from under the sheets…_

Tommy bit his lip so hard he tasted the coppery tang of blood.

Oblivious to his torment, Adam lifted the quilt a little more to let the light in. “See, I promise; it’s not too bright…”  

Sighing resignedly, Tommy grunted a “yeah, do it” and closed his eyes as the quilt was hurled energetically aside. The air had barely hit his skin before Adam’s warm arms wrapped him into a hug, effectively driving all rational thought to the far reaches of his brain as he immersed himself in everything _Adam…_

Loosening his hold enough to tip Tommy’s face up with a gentle finger under his chin, Adam leant in to capture Tommy’s lips in a soft kiss. Tommy’s mouth opened as Adam’s tongue sought entry and proceeded to map the familiar contours before returning to slow dance with Tommy’s… Any chance of coherent thought was erased with every flick and lick of that talented tongue and Tommy was a mass of tingling nerve endings and molten desire, his hands twisted in the fabric of Adam’s t-shirt as he clung on for dear life when they came up for air.

“Happy birthday, Glitterbaby” Adam’s warm breath ghosted on Tommy’s ear, sending goose-bumps chasing over his skin. Pulling back, Adam rubbed their noses together, a tender smile on his face. “Okay, I’m gonna jump in the shower while you get these down you and then you can wait for the shower here or go back to your own room…”

Sliding off the bed, Adam handed over pain killers and a tall glass of water.

Gulping the water thirstily as he washed the Aspirin down, Tommy gazed longingly after Adam, as the man he loved with every atom of his being vanished into the bathroom.

Staring at the door for several minutes and resisting the urge to follow, he pushed to his feet and pulled his jeans back on. “’m gonna go get showered and changed…” He gulped as the top half of a dripping wet Adam leant around the bathroom door.

“Ten minutes?”

Eyes fixed on a cluster of drops as they rolled their way down Adam’s neck and onto his chest, Tommy nodded mutely.

Laughing, Adam shook his head wildly and water flew everywhere before the door closed on him once again.

With that image on rolling repeat in his head, Tommy’s bare feet led him on auto-pilot, across the hall to his own room where he shed his clothes and dived under the shower without waiting for it to warm – he needed that icy blast to cool the heat thrumming through his veins… _Adam…naked…wet…fuck…_

It seemed even icy water couldn’t douse the flames and he gave in, a firm grip and a splash of shower gel sending him on a rapid rise to oblivion as he moaned Adam’s name like a mantra.

His ten minutes had elapsed long before his brain returned to claim the vacant space inside his head and he was still hopping around trying to get dressed when Adam tapped on the door.

“You decent, Tommy Joe? Can I come in?”

Figuring that a pair of tiny whiteys covering his skinny ass classed as being decent, he shouted an affirmative and continued the battle with his socks as Adam let himself in.

Adam stared across the room at Tommy’s milky white skin, glowing paler than ever in the muted light of the room with the curtains still drawn, his horror tat sleeve standing out in marked contrast. Stifling a gasp, Adam watched his best friend… _straight_ best friend, he reminded himself sternly, finally giving up on his one-legged attempts to pull his sock on as he flopped onto the bed and rolled onto his back. With both socks now successfully landed, Tommy wriggled into his jeans with a hitherto unseen pole-dancer set of moves to leave Adam carefully adjusting his combats as the zip area became a little too tight for comfort.

A final wriggle and Tommy’s skinny jeans were in place. Rolling off the bed he added a favourite faded out Metallica t-shirt and looked around for his boots.

Frowning as the search proved fruitless, he became aware of Adam’s intense gaze from the other side of the room, those deep blue eyes boring deep into Tommy’s soul. Pink flooded Tommy’s cheeks as his head was filled with the sound of his own moans at the stroke by stroke replay of his very recent jerking off session… _fuck, he knows…_

They gazed at each other for a long moment…

“You looking for these?” Adam held Tommy’s boots up. “You left them in my room.”

“Yeah, thanks dude.” Tommy reached out to take them, their hands brushing as said footwear changed ownership and the electric charge was unmistakeable, eyes widening on both sides as Tommy backed away to sit back on the bed and Adam dropped into the armchair.

The silence was deafening, broken by an energetic rapping on the door.

“You in here, Tommy? Adam’s not answering his door…” Rick stopped mid-sentence as Adam opened the door “oh! Because he’s here!” He grinned “how’s the birthday boy?” he leant closer, voice dropping to a conspiratory whisper “my head hurts like fuck this morning. I don’t know how such a skinny little badass can drink so many shots and not pass out!”

Adam chuckled “I think he’s as hung over as you are! Was a good night though…”

Tommy appeared from the bathroom, eyeliner and a slick of gloss now in evidence. Adam blinked. Tommy looked edible. Joining them at the door, Tommy shoved Rick’s shoulder playfully “Morning fucker! I hope you’ve got a monster hangover…”

Grinning at Rick’s single finger reply, Adam steered both men down the hallway towards the elevator. “I think it’s safe to say you’re both suffering! Where’re the others?”

“Waiting for us up on the sky deck…” Rick winked, unseen by Tommy.

“Ahh, let’s go find…”

Tommy burst out laughing as he was showered in confetti as they stepped out onto the sky deck and led him to the table decked out in balloons. A bagel with three candles flickering sat on the plate waiting for him. “Happy birthday, Teebie!” Ashley folded him into a warm hug and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I know you had cake and stuff last night but we wanted to mark your actual birthday…” She nudged him gently “better blow those candles out before we start a fire!”

Grinning happily, Tommy closed his eyes, made a wish, and blew them out to applause from his friends. A lively breakfast followed, chatter resonating around the table until a dressed-down Bradford, in ripped jeans and a Moody Blues t-shirt, called for order, first giving them the serious stuff about check-out times and transport arrangements, before raising his coffee cup to toast the birthday boy and hand over a small parcel.

This was the cue for everyone to scatter and retrieve the items they’d hidden earlier. Tommy was overwhelmed as the table in front of him was suddenly full of brightly wrapped packages. He looked around at the people he loved and swallowed the lump in his throat. “I don’t know what to say…”

Brian chuckled “say nothing and open your damn presents!”

Laughter filled the air as Tommy tore into Bradford’s package. His face cracked a massive grin as a black tie was revealed, a tie with cats rocking it out on guitar… “I love it, man, just fucking love it!”

Tommy unwrapped the rest of his gifts; matching socks for his tie, a bottle of Jack, a travel pillow, i-tunes voucher, guitar strings, a Halloween t-shirt, History of the Blues book and a cashmere scarf. “Thank you, guys. “’m just m…”

“You haven’t finished yet” Adam bent down under the table to lift out a heavy box about thirty inches square, wrapped in silver paper and tied with a massive black satin ribbon. “This is from Sauli and me…and _this_ is from me…” Adam pulled a small gift bag from his pocket. “Open my one first…” 

Leaning forward, his eyes fixed on Tommy as he carefully opened the bag and pulled out a rectangular jewellery box, Adam missed the knowing looks shared by their friends…

“Fuck, it’s beautiful…” Tommy lifted the infinity necklace from the satin lining.

“It matches the bracelets we have…” Adam’s eyes danced, his smile wide as he fixed it around Tommy’s neck “we’ll always have each other…”

“Always…” Tommy nodded, falling into Adam’s open arms to snuggle in close “thank you, Babyboy…”

“Oi, get a room!” Brian threw a napkin at them, the collective group of friends breaking down in giggles.

Tommy stuck his fingers up in response and settled himself on Adam’s lap to open his final parcel. The paper and ribbon were removed to reveal a large box. Tugging the lid off, Tommy’s mouth opened but no sound came out. Adam’s arms tightened around his middle “Is it okay?”

Lifting out the first of the stack of original vinyl Queen albums, the iconic _A Night at the Opera,_ Tommy held it as if it were porcelain. He gasped as he noted the signatures…all _four_ band members… “Wow…this is just…I…that’s _Freddie Mercury’s autograph…_ ”

“It is authentic…” Adam grinned “I did have some help sourcing them…friends of ours we spent time with in London…” He gasped as Tommy carefully placed the record back into the box and turned to straddle his legs, flinging his arms around Adam’s neck to hug the life out of him.

“Thank you…both, so much, they’re beyond…” Tommy peppered Adam’s neck with grateful kisses as Adam’s arms closed around him, pressing him closer.

“Iced water coming your way…” Rick laughed as Brian picked up the jug and got to his feet.

“It’s my birthday, I’m allowed!” Tommy loosened his hold and looked over his shoulder “and you come near my albums with that water…”

“Oooh, the Pretty Kitty has a hidden tiger streak…careful Bri,” Ashley tugged on Brian’s vest “you could end up on the menu!”

Good humoured laughter echoed around the sky deck as Brian sat back down and Tommy clambered off Adam’s lap, both immediately missing the warmth and closeness, to look at the other eleven albums, all autographed like the first one…

Bradford stood up “I must get changed, see you all downstairs in the lobby…” he nodded as he drew level “happy birthday, Guitar boss!” bumping knuckles with Tommy with a grin.

The others watched him as he disappeared into the elevator “That’s one cool guy…” Tommy chuckled “no doubting he’s got rock ‘n roll blood flowing through his veins…”

They lingered a little longer, regretfully rising en masse to return to their rooms to pack their things ready for the journey home.

All too soon they were back on the road. Adam and Bradford sat at the small table down the front and worked through their ‘to do’ list for the coming week.

Tommy gazed idly out of the window as the miles rolled past, sleepily content with his lot in life. Ashley dropped into the seat beside him. “You wanna see your dancing video, Teebie?”

“Hell, yeah!” Sleep was forgotten as Tommy watched himself twirling drunkenly, holding on to Adam’s hand, before staggering into Adam’s arms as they swayed provocatively in their attempt to recreate Johnny and Baby’s routine from Dirty Dancing. Ash’s giggles rang aloud as they finished with a flourish and a grand dip, the moment losing its tenuous claim to elegance as Adam dropped him and tripped over his legs to land sprawling on top of him. The recording lost visual as everyone fell about laughing and continued for several minutes with just the sounds of hysteria and revelry from the audience and urgent gasps for breath from the two dancers.

“I love it! Can you send it to me?” Tommy tugged his phone out, realising he hadn’t had any messages or calls all morning…it was turned off. The next two hours flew by as he answered birthday messages from friends, a mass outpouring of Twitter and Facebook love from his fans and some unexpected and lovely greetings from Brian May, Roger Taylor and Rufus too. Mike had left him a voicemail, as had Alla and Matt, and Liz. As he was replying to Brad’s message, his mom rang.

With dinner plans made, he listened to the next voice message from Riff which was so cute he replayed it on speaker for everyone, collective grins at Lee’s added “happy birthday, fucker” followed by an indignant Riff telling Scarlett “Daddy said a bad word to Uncle Tommy!”   

Sauli had posted on Twitter and left a message. Sutan called and they spent multiple miles swapping news and arranging a lunch date. He had emails from Leila and Neil and a tweet from Eber…

Grinning happily, Tommy tucked his phone away and rummaged in his bag to find his new travel pillow. Minutes later he was asleep, a contented smile curving his lips as the bus rumbled onwards.

Several hours later he landed outside his apartment block with his guitar, travel bag and assorted gifts. Tommy grinned as Mike bounded out of the entrance door to help him with his things and folded him into a huge hug. “Happy birthday rockstar! Welcome home…”

Tommy sank into the familiar embrace. It was good to be back.

Mike ruffled Tommy’s hair as he released him. “Beer’s ready and Tanya says she’ll cook anything you want.

“Beer’s fucking awesome, Playboy, but gotta do dinner with mom so better not eat…” he paused thoughtfully “she said _anything_?”

“She did…”

“Waffles make beer taste so much better…”

“If you say so!” Mike shook his head fondly and picked up Tommy’s overnight bag and guitar case, heading back indoors. “We better get you inside before you put out roots…”

Carrying his precious albums carefully up the stairs, Tommy followed in Mike’s wake.

A hot shower, a cold beer and several waffles with syrup and Tommy was fit for the world at large once more.

Tanya watched, amused, as the two drooled over Tommy’s Queen albums, selecting one to play and sitting in rapturous silence for a mere thirty seconds before they were both on their feet singing along loudly to _We will rock you._ At least the couple next door were used to the noise…  

By the time he was due to leave for dinner at his mom’s, Tommy was on a musical high and both he and Mike had sung themselves hoarse, the finale of their trip down icon-memory lane, a rousing _We are the champions_ bellowed out of the windows for the entire neighbourhood’s delight.

Dinner was a happy marriage of all Tommy’s favourites and he spent an enjoyable evening telling his mom every…well, _almost every_ …detail of his recent awesome life, finally tumbling into his bed, tired, but in love with life and the entire planet…

A lazy morning saw him stretched out on the sofa for a M*A*S*H marathon until it was time to return Hot Lips, Hawkeye and Klinger back to their box to get ready for his lunch with Adam. Remembering the hungry expression in Adam’s eyes the last time he’d worn his low slung, snug-on-his-hips black jeans and Dracula t-shirt with his favourite wedge heeled boots, Tommy took extra care with his make-up; smoky greys blending over his eyelids, black eyeliner and mascara framing and adding a luminosity to his eyes, a light brush of powder to his cheeks for emphasis and a slick of gloss on his lips…

Grabbing his keys he skipped down the stairs and was waiting on the sidewalk when Adam pulled up, leaning over to open the door “Ready, Glitterbaby?”

Tommy nodded “Yep” He glanced across through his eyelashes. Despite the smile, something wasn’t quite right; Adam was tense and gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white.

They joined the stream of traffic, Tommy surveying Adam carefully as he pretended to settle back into his seat.

“What’s up, Babyboy?”

“Nothing…” the tiny shake of his head and frown won the battle, with the false smile running for the hills.

“If you’re gonna fuck with me… _fuck, worst choice of words ever…_ then you can pull over now and I’ll fucking walk home…”

Tears welled in Adam’s eyes and he stared at the road ahead, lip trembling. “I…” he shook his head again as the tears spilled down his cheeks.

“Pull over…” Tommy’s quiet command had Adam’s tear-streaked face turning towards him in a panic “don’t worry, I’m not getting out!”

In a side street, Adam turned the engine off and crawled awkwardly over the central console into Tommy’s waiting arms, curling himself into a ball as Tommy stroked his hair.

“Spill it, Lambert!” the blunt words softened by the gentle delivery and reassuring threading of fingers through his now silver-tipped dark locks.    

“We had another fight…we said… _I said…_ some fucking shit things to him…and… _and…_ ”

“Sshhh, s’ok…” Tommy’s hold tightened instinctively as Adam’s body shook.

“I wanted to know when he was coming home.” He looked up, eyes, red and swollen and a mass of smeared mascara. It tore at Tommy’s heart to see him so broken. “Is that such a bad thing to want?” Adam stifled another sob. “He said he didn’t know when he was coming home so I screamed at him. I told him he was selfish and thoughtless and why bother coming home at all as he was never there…”

Still holding him tightly, Tommy waited, sensing Adam wasn’t done yet.

Heaving a strangled breath, Adam dissolved into fresh tears “Sauli… _he…he_ …”

“He?” Tommy prompted softly “Tell me, so I can help you put it right…”

“He just shrugged and looked so sad ‘whatever you want Adam. Whatever is best for you…’ I said I want my boyfriend home with me. He shook his head and said he was sorry and cut the connection. I think he’s…I’ve lost…” Everything thereafter was unintelligible as Adam buried his face back into Tommy’s chest, sobbing convulsively and soaking Tommy’s t-shirt with his tears.

Rocking them gently, Tommy let him cry it out before tipping Adam’s face back up to brush the tears away with his thumb “’s gonna be okay, Babyboy…did you call him back?”

Adam shook his head minutely “I came straight out to meet you. I was so angry he wasn’t here after he promised…”

“And now?”

“I was such a fucking diva…” he bit back another wave of tears “what if he doesn’t… _can’t_ forgive me? What if…” his voice dropped to a barely audible whisper “… _I can’t…if he won’t…”_

Without loosening his hold, Tommy worked his phone from his pocket and scrolled down his contacts, pressing call…

“Tommy, it is good to talk to you” the warmth in Sauli’s voice was genuine and washed away the niggling rumblings of jealousy building low in Tommy’s gut. _These two men belonged together…_

“You too…”

The brief silence was broken by Adam’s fresh sobs “Tell him I’m sorry…”

Tommy pushed his phone into Adam’s hand “ _You_ tell him…” Wriggling with some difficulty from underneath Adam’s body, Tommy climbed out of the car. “You guys need to talk, I’ll be…” he waved at the general vicinity of the street, pausing to press a soft kiss to Adam’s temple “it’ll be okay, just talk to each other…”

As he drifted up and down the sidewalk, hands jammed in his pockets, Tommy allowed himself a moment to wonder what would happen if…

_If…fuck…_

Leaning against the wall a few feet from the car, he watched the world go by, trying not to think about the conversation going on inside the confines of fine German engineering…

His aimless mental meandering was brought to a halt with a subdued, but smiling Adam appearing in front of him to hand him the phone “thank you, Tommy, you are the best friend we could ever have…” an emotional Sauli lapsed into impassioned Finnish before concluding with a promise to see him as soon as he could get away “we both of us love you very much…”

Sauli rang off as Adam tugged Tommy in for a heartfelt hug, holding on tightly, his whispered “Thank you, baby” sending waves of warmth washing through Tommy’s body. Releasing him, they walked the short distance back to the car hand in hand.  

As Adam eased the car into a parking space across the road from the steak house, Tommy caught a glimpse of sunlight off a camera lens reflecting in the side mirror. Leaning across he nodded in the direction of the photographer “’ware paps…”

Grimacing, Adam reached for his sunglasses to hide his red rimmed eyes. “Let’s give them a show!”

Tommy waited, trying not to grin, as Adam flirted with the parking meter, whispering to it as he dropped his coins in and stroking it seductively before he and Tommy headed over to Morton’s. Explaining their unexpected audience outside, Adam was relieved to be shown to a corner privacy booth where just the doorway was visible. Sliding out of sight, they studied the menu…

“Orders taken and drinks in their hands, they settled down to enjoy their lunch. “Are you and Sauli okay?” Tommy looked searchingly at Adam’s face, still showing obvious signs of his earlier distress.

“We understand each other…not out of the woods yet, but it’ll be alright.” Adam’s wan smile tugged at Tommy’s heartstrings. “He told me about the new modelling work and a TV programme screen test he’s going to be doing. He’ll be home soon…” Adam reached for Tommy’s hand “without you today, I don’t know that he’d be coming home at all…” Bringing Tommy’s hand to his mouth, Adam pressed a kiss to the pale skin “ _Thank you, Glitterbaby…for everything…”_

“Welcome Babyboy, s’what friends are for…” Tommy curled his fingers around his infinity necklace, bumping Adam’s shoulder affectionately “forever, yeah…”

“Forever…” Adam leant against him “love you, Tommy Joe”

“I know!”  

Adam laughed “you’re supposed to return the sentiment!”

Eyelashes fluttering innocently, Tommy grinned, turning to cup Adam’s face “Adam Mitchel Lambert, I love you!” … _totally, utterly and with all that I am…_ Tommy’s butterflies soared and dipped, a mass of elation and wistful confusion “how’s that?”

“better!”

“Would it help if I said I wanted your babies?”

“Daft fucker!”

“ _Your_ daft fucker! A toast to daft fuckers…”

They clinked glasses as the server appeared with their steaks and conversation ceased as they attacked their food with enjoyment.

Afternoon drifted into evening and they were back at Adam’s, planning the songs for the Sirius OutQ108 interview at the end of the month; an hour long show with acoustic performances from the Fishbowl studio. After much hilarity and occasional bursts of seriousness, they had a provisional list and a few extras, depending on the time allocation.

Work done, they relocated to the sitting room to curl up with a film, Tommy falling asleep long before the credits rolled. Moving carefully to avoid waking the sleeping man, Adam untangled himself from Tommy’s arms and covered him with a blanket. He stood gazing down at his best friend for long minutes before heading to his makeshift studio where he poured out his feelings in a new song…

Tommy rattled off his plans for the next few days as they sat down to omelettes the next morning. “Picnic with Liz today, and guitar lesson with Bradford tonight…he’s really getting good! Then lunch and a show with Sutan day after tomorrow, spending the day and dinner with Brad tomorrow…” he chuckled “we’re going to be trying out some stuff for Husbands, he says. Not got a fucking clue what he means, but it’ll be a blast! Brad’s an awesome dude.”

Adam’s green goblins poked his possessive streak into action. “Just remember you’re mine and not his!”

“I’m _mine_ actually!” Tommy stuck his tongue out as Adam pouted. “I really want to get over to jam with Alla if I can and…”

“So when do _I_ get to see you again with all your social engagements?” He didn’t quite manage to hide the petulant lilt to his voice.

“You get me all day Friday to help set up the Pretty Little Liars screening…”

“And Thursday night so we can start early on Friday?”

“You gonna feed and water me?”

“Mexican and JD…anything you want…”

“Hmmmmm” Tommy pretended to think about it “deal, but it’ll be quite late as I’m out with Bradford first…” He stood up as Adam opened his mouth to protest “now I need to call a cab or I’ll be late.”

Twenty minutes later, Tommy was on his way to Liz’s.

The horse ride into the hills was fun and the picnic, leisurely and full of laughter. Tommy was almost sorry he couldn’t stay into the evening. Kissing Liz goodbye and thanking her for a lovely day, he headed back home, ready for his lesson with Bradford.

The next few days were full from dawn to dusk and aside from a few text messages and quick calls, Tommy hadn’t seen Adam at all. He knew, via Sutan, that Sauli still wasn’t home and Adam had been working on the initial setlist choices for the upcoming tour dates in South Africa with Brian…

Thursday morning saw Tommy waking in Liz’s bed, butt naked and with a banging hangover. His memory of the previous night was hazy to say the least but…

“Morning, TJ!” Liz appeared in the doorway.

Tommy’s face lit up at the giant mug of coffee in one hand and the industrial sized tub of aspirin in the other. “Gimme!”

After several mouthfuls of scalding New York blend and a couple of painkillers, Tommy was awake enough to broach the subject of his state of undress.

Liz laughed prettily “Are you telling me my fiancé doesn’t remember…”

_Oh fuckfuckfuck…megafuck…_ “Your what?” Tommy’s hand trembled and he plonked the mug hastily on the bedside cabinet as he swung his feet out of bed. The aspirin and coffee consumed thus far were in danger of making an unwelcome reappearance…

“Awww TJ, that’s so sweet, pretending you don’t…”

“I don’t…and I didn’t…and if I did, I didn’t mea…of fuck, Liz, I’m sorry bu…” the colour drained from his face and his stomach churned unhappily.

“Don’t worry, you didn’t do anything but snore and snuggle…” a pained smile accompanied a narrowing of her eyes as she locked gazes with him and he shrank back at the mix of hurt and anger swirling in those blue pools “we had a killer jam session with Alla and Matt, then we hit Solli’s for a few drinks and a few shots. We grabbed a cab back as no-one was fit to drive and your car’s here anyway.

We kissed a bit and started undressing. You fell over your boots and landed on the bed in helpless giggles. I started helping you to undo your pants…” she paused and closed her eyes momentarily “you arched up to me and…”

“… _and?_ Fuck, Liz, please tell me what we did”

“Adam! You called me fucking _Adam_ and told me to take it slow! Then you passed out. I stripped you and I had every intention of posting naked pictures of you all over Twitter and Facebook.” She glared at him “I _would_ do it…”

Tommy’s face had turned ashen and his mouth dropped open, brain racing at five hundred miles an hour trying to come up with an explanation. Her words rolled through his head…” _would?_ ”

“I was all ready to take the pictures…”

“I was drunk…”

“You hurt me, TJ, your thoughtless words really hurt me”

“I’m sorry, but I was dr…”

“Don’t interrupt me! You were asleep but you kept patting the bed and mumbling. When I got closer you pulled me into your arms and cuddled in, and you said _my Lizzie…_ ” Planting her hands on her hips she fixed him with a penetrating stare “just don’t hurt me like that ever again. Oh and before you ask, no we’re not engaged, we’re not even dating properly…”

“So we’re just friends then…” Tommy’s relief was evident, drawing yet another frown to Liz’s face. “ _Very good friends_ …” he amended hastily as he reached out for his jeans and slithered into them before retrieving his shirt from the floor and pulling it on quickly, his aim to escape as soon as he could.

He would’ve praised the Lord, if he wasn’t an atheist that is, when his phone rang, blasting _Music Again_ into the awkward silence. “Bradford, yeah dude, sorry I’m running a bit late…still at my…er, where I crashed last night; killer jam session…Be there as soon as…’kay!” he hung up, leaving a very confused Adam at the other end.

Grabbing his jacket and shoving his feet into his boots, Tommy planted a swift kiss to Liz’s cheek and made for the exit. “Sorry, forgot, guitar lesson…late…catch up, yeah? Thanks for letting me stay…” Without giving her a chance to say anything he closed the door behind him and sprinted for his car on legs that felt like rubber.

He put a good few blocks between him and Liz’s apartment before he pulled over and tugged his phone out to see who had actually saved him. _Adam;_ just seeing his name on the tiny screen was enough to set a mega-watt grin spreading over his face and he pressed _call,_ leaning back in his seat.

“Tommy, you okay?” Adam’s voice was laden with concern “that was a very odd phone call. Are you in trouble?”

“Long story, but I’m fine…aside from a hangover and an almost fiancée…”

“I’m coming over!”

Tommy’s stomach rumbled loudly “how about the Cinnamon Flame instead, ten minutes?”

“In ten then, and you can tell all, my pretty kitty…” Adam hung up leaving Tommy frowning. Why did that sound familiar? It wasn’t until he was leaping up the stairs to his apartment for a supersonic fast change and teeth clean that it hit him; he’d never called Liz _Lizzie_ in his life, let alone _my Lizzie…_ He spluttered and almost choked on his mouthwash. _She’d heard him mumbling ‘my kitty’… Adam’s pet name for him, misheard by a somewhat pissed off Ms Hill had saved his junk from being plastered across the length and breadth of social media…_

He cupped a hand over his sleeping tackle and grinned at his reflection… _thank fuck for that…_

Adam was waiting in a booth when he arrived, hauling him into a fierce hug “Are you okay? I was worried…”

“’m fine, really! I need feeding and my head feels like it’s got the entire fucking cast of _Riverdance_ in it, but, hey, it’s self-inflicted and could’ve been so much worse!”

Over blueberry pancakes and bottomless coffee, Tommy described his encounter with an irate and decidedly obsessive Liz, nodding in agreement when Adam suggested these were previously unseen bunny-boiler-type-characteristics and Liz would need careful handling...

They sniggered at the obvious pun. 

Pulling out his wallet to pay, Adam paused and looked up thoughtfully, pink spreading across Tommy’s face under the intense gaze. “You said you called her _Adam_? So how often do you think of me undressing you…my _pretty kitty_?” 

“I…er”… _fuckshitbugger…_ ”we undress each other all the time when we’ve had too much to drink…” _and I’m never fucking drinking again…_

Adam chuckled “course we do!” His wink at their server as he handed over his card only served to deepen the rosy hue on Tommy’s face and he was relieved when they headed back to their cars.

_What a fucking morning…_

Leant against Adam’s car, they ran through their respective plans for the day. Adam and Bradford were headed to RCA for a _Trespassing_ performance feedback meeting at midday, after which Adam was hitting the grocery store to stock up for the following day’s frivolities. Tommy was catching up on sleep and then a guitar workshop and band visit with Bradford. Once finished there, he’d head to Adam’s…

“Bradford’s got a busy day ahead of him – I’ll try not to wear him out before you get him!” They grinned at each other and climbed into their respective cars. Tommy watched as Adam drove away. About to turn the key, his phone rang. “Sauli?”

“I am needing your help, Tommy…”

Fifteen minutes later, Tommy finally started the engine and headed home with some major planning to do. Catching up on sleep would have to wait.

By the time his pupil arrived at four, Tommy had managed to make good progress with his mission and was sat on the floor in the sitting room with sheet music spread around him as he worked on the arrangements for Bradford’s next two songs, _Pop that Lock_ and _Trespassing._ It helped that Bradford had stopped off at the coffee house en route and picked up two mega Cortados with an extra shot.

Mentally and chemically fortified by the wonders of caffeine, both teacher and student successfully navigated the technicalities of adjusting pre-existing music scores whilst retaining the essence of the original. Multiple plays later, the music highs were back and they collapsed on the sofas for a Queen interlude…

After succumbing to the inevitable sing-along and torturing the neighbours for the second time that week, they shrugged into their jackets and grabbed a quick sandwich from the diner, before heading to Solli’s to complete Bradford’s lesson watching the opening act. _Local Natives_ were a young and upcoming band, whose guitarist created bright and original riffs along with some impressive technical classic sounds and were a perfect example of where Bradford was aiming to take his fledgling, but rapidly blossoming, guitar skills.

A five song plus one encore set enjoyed, they headed back out into the pleasantly cooling evening air. Hugging briefly, it was back into their cars and their separate ways.

Tommy and Adam spent the evening eating Mexican take out and ice cream, painting their nails and laughing hysterically as they filled Halloween goodie bags for the impromptu party the following night to watch the premiere of their Pretty Little Liars episode.

The following day was busy with errands, phone calls and party prep until mid-afternoon when they curled up on Adam’s bed planning to watch a film. The opening credits had barely faded when both were sound asleep…

Adam’s phone woke them just after six; Sutan wanting to check that it wasn’t Halloween attire as Raja had a pretty new frock she wanted to wear... Helpless laughter was the order of the day as both ran around in their underwear, madly working their way down the list of last minute things to do before everyone arrived.

Leaving Tommy making giant jugs of punch in the kitchen, Adam dived under the shower to get ready first. Emerging from the bathroom he heard the bell ring and voices in the hall. Sticking his head around the door he watched as Brad folded a still half naked Tommy into a hug and the pair whispered together before laughter rang out and they headed through to the sitting room.

The knowledge that Tommy was with Brad in a state of undress, had Adam’s green goblins imagining all sorts of unlikely scenarios and he dressed rapidly, still towelling his hair as he hastened to join them. Pausing just outside the door, guilt flooded his face as he listened for the sounds of conversation. All was quiet… _what the fuck were they doing in there?_

Squaring his shoulders, Adam pushed the door open and marched in, not entirely sure what he’d find…

Sat on the sofa, heads resting together, Tommy and Brad read through the completed script, the additions and amendments from their day together now in place. Tommy snickered remembering some of the role play from the writing process and how spectacularly he sucked at acting. Brad nudged him, giggling, “You’re reading the same bit I am!”

“Sure am, ma dawg!”

“Grrrrrowl!” Brad did his best wolf impression and the pair of them fell about.

“This looks cosy!” Adam leant over the back of the sofa draping an arm around each of their shoulders. “Having fun, boys?”

“You have no idea!” Brad waggled his eyebrows, shoving Tommy hard when he snorted with laughter.

“Time to share with me while my pretty kitty puts some clothes on before everyone else gets here!” Adam climbed over the back of the sofa and dropped in between them, his possessive goblins satisfied as they moved apart. Okay, so Tommy was straight, but _his_ Glitterbaby…

Brad grinned “I think you had to be there, but anyway, we were…”

The doorbell chimed.

“I’ll go…” Tommy was already out of the room on his way to find the rest of his gear, diverting instead to the front door.

Adam was only seconds behind him as Tommy opened the door to an assembled crowd of past and present band members, dancers along with Lee, Scarlett and Riff.

“Teebie, what a wonderful outfit!” Ashley giggled, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek as she moved past him with an elegant swish of shapely hips.

“Loving your threads, T-bone!” Terrence bumped knuckles with him as they moved into the hall, fond laughter echoing as Tommy took a bow and skipped off to Adam’s bedroom to find his pants.

When he reappeared, fresh t-shirt and legs now encased in snug fitting black denim, drinks had been dispensed and the room was full of happy chatter.

“Just Johnny and Raja still to come…” Adam breathed against his ear, sending goose bumps chasing over his skin. “Raja’ll want to make an entrance…” he grinned as Tommy spluttered into his drink “behave or I’ll spank you…I haven’t forgotten I owe you a spanking already!”

“Gotta catch me first, Babyboy!” Tommy ducked away from Adam’s outstretched fingers and sidestepped out of reach, delighted laughter floating back as he vanished into the masses.

About to give chase, Adam was thwarted by the arrival of her Lady Raja and her handsome escort, formerly known as Johnny! Raja smiled regally, sheer elegance and beauty in a leopard skin dress and long black gloves, allowing Adam to kiss her hand and take her wrap. Everyone piled into sofas, chairs and bean bags or parked themselves on the floor as Brian shouted a five minute warning.

Tommy settled on the floor, leaning back against Adam’s legs as the opening credits rolled and _Pretty Little Liars_ Halloween Special 2012 got underway. A huge cheer rang out as their scene started. It was exhilarating and slightly unnerving watching yourself on a television and there were groans as the camera swung onto each band member in a close up. Adam’s solo scene got a resounding reception and the empty punch jugs were replaced with bottles of tequila, JD and Disaronno.

Several glasses of punch and a large JD later and Tommy withdrew his previous pledge never to drink again. No doubt tomorrow’s hangover would prompt a reconsideration, but in the meantime…

With the show over and excited discussion abound, Ashley leant across to have a whispered conversation with Rick. A minor flurry of activity with a few cables and the huge screen was filled with Adam and Tommy’s birthday dirty dancing effort.

Tommy groaned and laughed in alternating cycles at the ridiculous spectacle they made, although he had to agree with Scarlett’s observation that they looked absolutely hot together…

The demands for a replay of their dance were both loud and persistent and with the amount of forty percent proof running through their veins, both Adam and Tommy were powerless to prevent their heads from nodding agreement.

Sliding into Adam’s arms felt perfect and with every turn and hip roll, Tommy fell deeper into the moment. This time they managed to avoid falling over each other’s feet mid-spin and the dip at the end was performed sans the toppling over and undignified sprawling on the floor. Arms wrapped around each other, they took a bow to delighted applause.

Friday night became Saturday morning and one by one they succumbed to either exhaustion or alcohol induced stupor. Lee and Scarlett retired to Adam’s room to join a sleeping Riff, Isaac and a completely sober pregnant Sophie headed for the guest room.

Everyone else found somewhere to crash. Adam grabbed Tommy’s hand and led him to his study-studio, tugging the sofa mattress out to make a basic bed on the floor. Aside from kicking off their boots, they cuddled up together in their clothes, asleep in moments as the  sounds of slumber echoed through the apartment.       

A very lively Riff landing on their tummies was a rude awakening what seemed like only moments later, and deep groans were offered in tandem as an unsympathetic Scarlett watched from the doorway. “You both looked so sweet cuddled up asleep, it was almost a shame to wake you… _almost_ …” Riff attempting his trampoline moves was enough to urge them to a sitting position and despite the pounding of tribal drums in their heads, they challenged him to a cushion fight. Shrieks bounced off the soundproofed walls…

Scarlett retreated to the kitchen to put some coffee on, picking her way carefully through mostly still sleeping bodies. With coffee brewing and Lee in charge of making pancakes, the enticing aroma of breakfast was stirring those still sleeping into wakefulness.

It was a loud and happy band of friends who sat down to breakfast amongst the chaos and remains of the previous night, multiple threads of different conversations around the table. Tommy looked around him with a smile. He loved these people…

Nobody was quite sure how the topic of spanking and punishment arose, but it quickly plunged to the depths and morphed into an exploration of sexual fantasy. Laughter and moans mixed around the table until Tommy found himself fleeing a giggling Adam brandishing a frying pan with the intention of swiping his arse with it. The action moved from inside the building out onto the roof deck, their audience cheering and following them out, effectively cutting off Tommy’s escape route.

Capture was inevitable and he accepted the spanking in the manner of a demure sub, trying not to squawk as the pan made contact with his backside as Adam bent him over his lap. Six times the pan made contact to cat calls, laughter and whistles from the audience and muted gasps from the recipient.

Punishment complete, Adam, pulled Tommy up from his prone position and tugged him down to straddle Adam’s lap, wrapping him into a fond hug. “My pretty kitty makes a good sub…” Tipping Tommy’s face up, Adam kissed him tenderly to more cheers from their friends.

Tommy wound his arms around Adam’s neck as the kiss deepened and tongues danced with decidedly more coordination than their owners’ feet had. The applause and cheers stopped suddenly, silence falling over the group.

“Ad-am…siippa, I am home…”

Tommy pulled away with a jolt “oh fuck!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay - back to work was a killer and after wrestling with lesson plans and a million [ok, slight exaggeration] new students my brain fled every night! it is a long one this time to atone for making you wait!   
> Hope it's worth the delay! <3


	28. Chapter 28

For a long moment silence hung heavy in the air.

Tommy slid off Adam’s lap, biting his lip anxiously as Sauli’s frown faded and his face broke into a grin as he skipped around the pool to fold Tommy into a hug. “It is good to see you minun ystavani”

Tommy hugged back, relief flooding his being. “Good to see you, too…” he pulled back to meet Sauli’s eyes “I’ve got lots to tell you…”

Sauli nodded, understanding instantly.

“Give me a call when you’ve got time for a coffee and we can chat properly…” Tommy grinned and waved towards Adam “be careful, he’s got a frying pan!”

“It sounds like a lot of fun is happening!” Sauli looked at his boyfriend.

Adam reached down by his side “It is…” his eyes twinkled mischievously “and you’ve got some catching up to do!” He brandished the pan “time to run kultsi!”

Sauli shrieked with delighted laughter and took off, Adam giving chase with a huge smile on his face.

The group of friends watched, laughing as Sauli dodged Adam’s reach time and time again, his lithe and flexible frame able to twist away at the last second to leave Adam grasping frustratingly at empty air. They scattered as Sauli hurtled towards them, the brief drop in his momentum enough to allow Adam to grab at the back of his collar.

“Gotcha!” Adam’s breathless declaration was but a momentary blip of triumph as Sauli gave a swift tug and giggle to leave Adam with a handful of leather jacket and nothing else.

“Anyone recording this?” Brian chuckled “it’ll be a crime to miss capturing this for posterity!”

Ashley laughed “already on it!” she pointed at her phone “next band meeting…”

Adam had cornered Sauli again around the stacked up loungers and was advancing slowly, both men helpless with laughter. As Adam reached out, Sauli ducked under his arm and made a bolt for freedom, just a split second too late.

Adam’s grip tightened on Sauli’s sleeve and he staggered backwards, pulling Sauli with him, their collective balance gone.

There was a resounding splash and a massive waterspout as they landed in the pool.

Hysterical laughter filled the air as Adam waded to the side to dump the pan on the tiles before turning to haul Sauli into his arms and kiss him soundly, the Finn’s hands tangling one in Adam’s hair and the other in his t-shirt as they lost themselves in each other.

Leaving the reunited lovers to their ever increasingly passionate kiss, everyone retreated back inside.

Rick nudged Tommy “close call there, mister!”

Tommy shrugged nonchalantly, his stomach on full spin cycle as his conflicted emotions waged war “Sauli’s seen me kiss Adam before - we kiss all the time – it doesn’t mean anything…”

Rick’s knowing grin sent heat flooding Tommy’s cheeks. “Whatever you say!” He moved away before Tommy could reply, leaving Tommy wondering wistfully what a reunion celebration with Adam would be like… _sweet welcome home loving…_

Summoning all his reserves of control, he grabbed a rubbish bag and began collecting up the bottles and debris scattered far and wide from the night before. _Keep busy…don’t think…_

“You okay?” Brad joined him in his quest restoring the apartment to its original pristine state.

“’m fine” Tommy kept his gaze focused on the job at hand.

“And you’re telling me fairy stories, kiddo!” Brad reached out to intercept Tommy’s hand en route back to the bin bag with an empty bottle of Jack. Squeezing his captured wrist, he nudged Tommy with his hip; it was a forceful nudge… Unwilling eyes, swimming with tears, met concerned brown ones and Tommy’s lip trembled as Brad took the bottle from his hand, leading him into the kitchen.

Scarlett took one look at the two men and abandoned her stacking the dishwasher role “I’ll just see who wants coffee…” She paused to press a soft kiss to Tommy’s cheek “It’ll be okay…”

Brad watched her carefully closing the kitchen door “Smart woman, that one…” he cupped Tommy’s face “she’s right you know, it _will_ be okay…”

“For a few moments I got to pretend he was mine…it felt so fucking good, y’know, in front of everyone…out in the open…and then…” Tommy’s hoarse whisper ended in a stifled sob and he dragged in a shaky breath. “I really like Sauli and he makes him happy so that’s good, right? I want him to be happy…”

“Sweetie, you have got to be the most noble bastard I’ve ever met…” Brad cracked a grin, leaning forward to plant a kiss on Tommy’s forehead “aside from _me_ of course…”

The door opened to a sopping wet Adam, his hand firmly clasped around Sauli’s as they trailed water in their wake. Adam dropped the frying pan onto the worktop, suddenly noticing Tommy and Brad who’d frozen when the door opened.

“You okay, Glitterbaby?” Adam couldn’t help his possessive demons sending a fierce glare in Brad’s direction, seeing them so close yet again.

“Huh, yeah…” Tommy nodded briefly “something in my eye…”

“Let me see…” Adam took a step towards them.

“I got this, Lambert! Go get out of those wet clothes, you’re dripping all over the floor!” Brad returned the glare with a full-on _Cheeks_ stare.

“You sound like my mother!”

“Then you know I’m talking sense! Beat it brat!” Brad rolled his eyes as Adam let out a bellow of laughter and retraced his steps “That’s my boy!” Brad grinned at them across the room “welcome home Sauli…”

Sauli’s happy smile lit up the surrounding air space as he was led away to their bedroom for a hot shower and whatever else Adam had planned…

“Thank you” Tommy’s heartfelt whisper had Brad’s arms folding him into a tight hug. They remained motionless for long minutes, Tommy drawing strength from the other man’s complete understanding of how he felt. _They both loved this man who wasn’t theirs to love…_

Breathing deeply, Tommy pulled back “’m okay now” He met Brad’s fond gaze with a determined nod. “Really, ‘m good and just wanna…”

They grinned at each other “another pure sap moment for the record!” Brad chuckled “you really are a fabulous queen y’know…”

“Fucker!” They burst out laughing as Riff bolted in through the now open doorway and flung himself on Tommy, giggling loudly as he scrambled up into his arms to be swung onto Tommy’s shoulders.

Sutan appeared, pretending not to see him. “I’m looking for a little monster” he waved his hands “about so high, lots of curls and a cheeky grin…”

Brad looked around the room, his back to Tommy “Nope, not seen anything like that, have we Tommy?”

“Not in here”

Sutan winked “I’ll try outside”

Riff shrieked with delight as Tommy swung him around and threw him up in the air, finally landing him back on his feet where he took off, giggling happily.

Tommy and Brad grinned at each other. Tommy picked up his rubbish bag and headed back out to the others to finish gathering the trash, Brad resuming Scarlett’s previous dishwasher role.

Many hands made light work and the apartment was swiftly restored to its former glory by the time Adam and Sauli reappeared, both now in dry clothes, with that just shagged glow and completely unable to keep their hands off each other. Seemed Sauli had been well and truly welcomed home under the shower… _Fuckfuckfuck…_

Sat on the sofa between Sutan and Brad, Tommy was forever grateful when both leant in closer, wordlessly offering their support. Adam’s gaze swept the room full of friends, finding the one person he was searching for. Tommy felt the penetrating stare but concentrated on the ongoing discussion of different brands and effective use of makeup…

Adam’s intense stare was interrupted by the departure of Sophie and Isaac, swiftly followed by Lee, Scarlett and a protesting Riff. By the time hugs and goodie bags had been dispensed all round and goodbyes shouted, the next group were ready to leave. This cycle repeated until just Tommy, Brad and Sutan remained.

Sutan was on the phone out by the pool, his hands waving excitedly as he paced up and down. Brad was attempting to coax Tommy into another _Husbands_ reading set, with the rather tempting offer of dinner anywhere he wanted to go once their work was done. It was appealing on so many levels, not least the fact his brain would be distracted from its guaranteed wondering what Adam was doing and the almost certain melancholy that accompanied such deep levels of masochistic self-torture…

Tommy’s mouth opened to confirm his meagre acting skills were at Brad’s disposal as Sutan breezed back in through the door and hijacked Tommy’s outstretched hand a split second before Brad grabbed it to haul Tommy off the sofa.

“Sorry, hon, I have an emergency…I have to steal my Vayvee from you…” he paused, looking Brad up and down with an appraising eye “Scratch that!” Sutan offered his other hand to a bemused Brad “one is good; two is better!” His face broke into a huge smile “Consider yourself hired! Grab your coats _Darhlings_ , we’ve got work to do…”

A swift hug goodbye and they were following Sutan’s car to his club wondering what the fuck they’d let themselves in for…

A drag queen fashion parade never even occurred to them…

…which turned out to be one of the most fun days Tommy had ever had…

The next two days shot by in a blur; more guitar lessons for Bradford, lunch with Liz – public place and absolutely zero alcohol…he wasn’t taking any chances after his last encounter - dinner at home with Mike and Tanya and one totally self-indulgent moping morning where he watched old GNT _Fever_ kisses and fan compilations on YouTube… _the reason I hold on, 'cause I need this hole gone…_

Searching for new videos, his phone beeped his new message alert _Glamberts, I love you…_ Adam’s throaty whisper confirming Tommy’s status as the original Glambert and a total sap and he was _so_ going to change it before he rejoined the world after his brooding session…

Reading Sauli’s message quickly, he checked the time and thumbed a reply. Closing his laptop regretfully after a final replay of the Amsterdam encore kiss, he headed to the bathroom to get ready…and if all that kissing on screen had awakened certain anatomical reactions then it was only right he followed the programme through to the end, gasping his release under the cascading water in the steam filled cubicle.

It was several minutes before his wobbly legs were up to the task of carrying him back to his bedroom to dress. Needing the comfort of good times and happy memories against his skin, he pulled on his frayed-at-the hem and ripped-at-the-knee faded black jeans and tugged his Queen top over his damp hair.

Minimal make up, a quick blast with the hair dryer and he was ready to go…

…after he’d refolded all the towels and cleaned the mirror…

Why the fuck was he procrastinating?

Staring at his reflection, Tommy sighed. _Why is my life so fucking complicated?_ With no answers immediately apparent, he grabbed his car keys and headed off to Prosecco’s.

Sauli was already at the bar and sipping a large glass of iced water as he played on his phone. His face lit up with that beautiful smile as Tommy walked towards him and they hugged warmly before following the waiter to a secluded table at the back of the room.

Ordering a water for Tommy and waving away the menu, they opted for the lunch platter to share; tiny taste-laden bowls of the key signature dishes, followed by their famous bread pudding.

Sauli rubbed his stomach in anticipation “I am loving all this rich food. It is so good to be home again…” he grinned “but I must do a good long hike tomorrow to work it off. You want to come with me?” He threw his head back, laughing loudly at Tommy’s horrified face.

“Fuck, no way! I can just about do a session at the gym, but a run?” Tommy shuddered visibly “anyway, I don’t have the legs for those tiny little shorts!” Sauli chuckled and ducked his head under the table to check, reappearing just as the waiter arrived with Tommy’s drink. His expression was a picture seeing Sauli seemingly removing his head from Tommy’s crotch, and they cracked up as he retreated hurriedly.

Tommy lifted his glass “To us…” he snickered “and the ability to shock the fuck outta waiters at the best Italian restaurant in Burbank!”

“Friendship, love and running shorts!” Sauli clinked his glass against Tommy’s.

“’kay you ready for the details of your anniversary dinner to blow his mind?”

“It will be good to blow Adam…” Sauli nodded seriously.

“Hahahaha that’s way more than I needed to know!” Tommy bumped Sauli’s shoulder, the Finn’s fierce blush and wide eyes confirming his realisation of what he’d said and they were both still clutching their sides, helpless with laughter when the server appeared with their order.

It was several minutes before they were able to do anything more than gasp for air and giggle, finally delving into the delicious dishes with enjoyment as anniversary celebration discussions were temporarily postponed.

Conversation centred on Sauli’s new modelling contract with Paparazzi and the exciting screen test he’d done, with Tommy in turn, relating the fun he was having teaching Bradford the guitar and sharing some of the tales from his and Brad’s star turn at the drag queen fashion parade…

Anniversary arrangements returned to the agenda as they finished their scrumptious pots of bread pudding and moved on to coffee.

“Roof terrace of your apartment, candles and linen. Soft music. I’ve got the top chef from the Thai House who’s going to cook for you, I’ll email you the menu – his pineapple fried rice and Chicken satay is off the fucking planet – so if you let me have your choices the day before…

Whilst you’re eating, I’ll sort the apartment so when you go back inside he’ll be…” Tommy attempted to keep a straight face and failed, dissolving into giggles “…seriously blown…”

Discussions resumed after the latest laughter interlude, Sauli taking Tommy’s hand and folding it between his own “You truly are the best friend a man can have to both of us.” He squeezed Tommy’s fingers “It has been so hard to be apart all the time for work and I am scared he will stop to want me home...”

Tommy shook his head fervently “He’s missed you every moment you’ve been away and he talks about you non-stop…” Tommy’s butterflies huddled miserably in the pit of his stomach at the love shining alongside the gleam of happy tears in Sauli’s eyes _talk about fucking yourself over Ratliff…_

“We have been fighting and it breaks my heart to be away but I can not be a, how do you say, a keeping-at-home man. I must be busy and work to be me, as well as be with Adam.”

Tommy nodded his understanding as Sauli gazed into the distance, his grip tightening on Tommy’s captive hand “When we were in Finland last year we had a big fight and the police came. It was not fun in a cell but we did make it right and it was good after…I do not want to fight him…” a dreamy smile spread over his face “it is much better to love…”

_Fuckshitbuggerfuck_

Never before had Tommy been so pleased to see a server with a coffee pot to top up their cups, the simple action enough to nudge Sauli back from his happy reminiscing to the here and now.

Tommy untangled his hand and reached for his refilled coffee. “Does that sound about what you wanted?”

Sauli nodded “it is perfect. I will have to go back to Finland again very soon as well so I am needing to leave happy Adam that I love him…

About to employ some further diversion tactics by asking about the costumes for that evening, Tommy was thwarted by his phone. The hushed whisper of his message tone was somewhat muted by the background noise, but still noticeable enough for Sauli to gaze around the room, a puzzled crinkle to his brow.

“I think I have heard Adam?” he stood up and scanned the surrounding tables. “He did not know we were coming here and he is recording some interviews to South Africa so he should not be…”

Tommy shrugged, feigning innocence “dunno, but Bradford says they’ve finished earlier than expected…” he indicated his phone “so Adam could sort out his costume…”

“We have the _Halloweenie_ Charity event tonight” Sauli grinned “I am a vampire!”

“ _Glam_ pire remember!” Tommy laughed and signalled for the bill. There was a minor skirmish as both wanted to pay, so the waiter tossed a coin for them! Tommy paid for the lunch, Sauli left the tip and they made their way back to their respective cars in high spirits.

“Have fun tonight, both of you…” Tommy hugged Sauli as they reached his car.

“You too…and thank you for lunch and for the anniversary plans minun ystavani…” 

Bumping knuckles, they went their separate ways.

Back home, Tommy crashed out on his bed and fell asleep, tumbling dreams alternating between Adam about to bite his neck to claim him permanently and the nightmarish scene where he was helpless, bound and gagged as he watched Sauli claiming Adam and there was nothing he could do to prevent it…

When Tommy’s alarm woke him, his pillow was wet with his tears…

With the disturbing image of Sauli stood in front of him, Adam’s blood trickling down his chin as he ran his tongue over his lips, burning on repeat through his tortured brain, Tommy stumbled to the bathroom and turned the shower on to cold.

Shivering and cursing he did his best to scrub the pictures away.

By the time Bradford arrived for his next session, Tommy had replaced his horror show with some more GNT compilations; pictures and video clips of their Fever kisses and playful banter on stage, artfully crafted into three and a half minutes of sugary sweet love songs glowing with wistful longing; he fucking loved his fans…

A quick run through of _Pop that Lock_ and _Trespassing_ showed, yet again, that the ripped-jeans-and-battered-Fleetwood-Mac-shirt attired tour manager had practiced his arse off since their last lesson only two days ago.

“You fucking slayed it!” Tommy was impressed.

They stowed their instruments and dropped to the floor to work on the music for the next two. With Texas Tango approaching and the planned visit of Bradford’s sister, niece and nephew, Tommy wanted Bradford to wow them. “You ready?” He handed the sheets over face down.

Flipping them over, Bradford’s mouth dropped open “Fuck! Really?” his grin lit the room “You think I’m ready?”

“Yep, the solos are tricky, but it’ll give you a chance to experiment…” Grinning, Tommy pushed to his feet, his intention to grab a couple of beers from the kitchen to aid the painstaking task of working through every note on paper before any fingers hit frets. His phone chose that moment to launch into a volley of _Glamberts, I love you…_

_Fuck, knew I should’ve changed it after that close call earlier…_

His face on fire, Tommy tugged the offending tech out of his pocket as Adam continued to purr his love with multiple text alerts.

Risking a swift glance towards Bradford, Tommy was reassured by the look of fond amusement on his friend’s face. “Nice message tone…” Bradford grinned.

“It’s…er…”

“…soooooo sweet!” Bradford made kissy faces, snickering at the single fingered gesture Tommy shared in response.

“Fucker!” Tommy peered at the tiny screen “Looks like Adam’s having a bit of a twitter-fest” he shoved the phone back into his pocket. “Beer first, twitter second!”

“Good plan!” Bradford leant back against the sofa and stretched his long legs out on the floor as Tommy handed over a cold bottle of Beck’s. They clinked them together “Rock music and sap central!”

“Hahaha, don’t cheek the teacher!” Tommy chuckled and examined his phone, reading aloud “...and now Sauli and I will begin to turn into Glampires for the evening! #changeosubject.” He dropped it onto the armchair and turned his attention back to the music “remind me to put the livestream of the black carpet on in a bit…”

Bradford grinned “yes, boss!”

Laughing, they began their work on _Broken English…_

Tommy finally fell into bed in the early hours, having chalked up another successful guitar lesson with Bradford. The man had natural talent and was obviously thoroughly enjoying their sessions, the pair of them interspersing the two new songs with watching the celebrities walking the black carpet at the annual Fred and Jason event. Adam and Sauli looked amazing in their Glampire costumes, elegant from top to toe with flowing silver hair for Adam, dark for Sauli, and both displaying stunning contacts in their eyes. The cameras flashed from every angle as they posed and larked about before disappearing into the venue.

Braving Sauli’s displeasure at the separation the second they were inside as Adam was tempted away to do an interview, Sauli stalked on alone to wait at the bar.

Watching as the cameras captured every moment, Tommy was torn; upset to see the cracks in their relationship visible for the world to see, yet at the same time… _maybe…if…_

Heaving a deep breath in, he’d reached for his guitar “let’s try it from the start of the solo…” For a while his distraction technique had worked, until Bradford had departed and Tommy was alone again.

Emotions in turmoil, Tommy’s dreams were troubled and he slept fitfully…

For the next two days he made sure he was busy – and away from Adam and Sauli. If they were working to keep it real then he’d keep his distance during the little time they had together.

He spent time with Sutan at the club, just helping out and shaking his head when his beloved life partner offered to talk. Sutan’s wordless tight hugs said he understood and Tommy’s inner demons receded a little to lurk at the outskirts of the dark recesses of his mind.

Rehearsal the day before the Texas Tango was all going to hell, when Bradford’s phone rang. Adam’s glare at the interruption underlined his foul mood and he kicked at the stage set up, his expression not inviting conversation.

“I’ll check, hold on…” Bradford’s grimace only added to the frown on Adam’s face.

“What?”

“Daybreak in Dallas…”

“What about them?” Adam snapped, cutting across Bradford’s explanation.

“TV Breakfast show – the biggest audience share in Dallas – want to know if you’d like to go on tomorrow morning…” Bradford’s calm and unflappable manner continued in the face of his uncharacteristically stroppy paymaster.

“Yes, why are you asking?” Adam scowled “you know we always take the TV interviews”

“We’d need to leave now, to get to the airport for our flight…” Bradford shrugged apologetically “sorry, Adam, that’s not a decision I can make without you”

“Now? Fuck, that’s all I fucking need…” The frown deepened “I’m not even packed and Sauli left for Finland again this morning so I can’t even get him to…”

“I’ll sort all that, dude, if you want to go” Tommy swapped understanding glances with their tour manager, the source of Adam’s bad mood now evident.

Adam’s face crumpled “yes, tell them yes, I’d love to…” He paused as Bradford nodded and moved away towards the door to finish making the arrangements “and I’m sorry I’ve been such a miserable bastard…”

Bradford’s eyebrows rose to disappear into his hair “Miserable? Can’t say I noticed…” he winked at the others as Adam shook his head minutely, breaking into a relieved laugh.

“Thanks, guys, guess I’ll see you all tomorrow and we’ll grab a bit of rehearsal time there instead…” He turned to Tommy “I was going to wear my Glampire gear from _Halloweenie_ and…”

“I’ll sort it Babyboy, now piss off outta here and get on that plane…” Tommy rolled his eyes as Adam paused at the door “Just go!”

“I…” Adam strode back to haul Tommy into his arms and kiss him fiercely, owning his mouth with his tongue as it mapped every contour. Releasing him just as suddenly, Adam chuckled and scampered out of the room without looking back.

Gasping, and far more of a dither than he’d ever fucking admit to, Tommy’s cheeks glowed as the others fell about.

Brian ran a rapid scale up and down his keyboard “let’s jam…”

The room echoed to the sounds of love and wild music as they rocked it out…

It was late afternoon by the time Tommy was headed over to Adam’s, having enjoyed a high energy jam session with the rest of the band, followed by a loud and fun-filled lunch. He’d then gone home to pack his own gear first and check all the instrument travel arrangements… _thank you Casey, I’m putting all that training to good use…_

A swift text exchange with Bradford to confirm everything was on schedule and he was finally free to keep his promise to Adam.

As always, he got a buzz from tapping in his own entry code and using his own key… _pure sap…teenaged girl level sappiness…_ The huge grin and distinct twitching below his waistline said he didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought…

Making his way through to the master bedroom, he began gathering the Adam essentials he knew went on every trip. Adam had obviously started as his large travel bag was out on the guest bed alongside his Glampire costume. Tommy packed quickly and efficiently, ticking off each item from the list in his head. A glance into the en suite confirmed Adam had already taken the toiletries he wanted; the shelf bare aside from an empty condom wrapper… _fuck…_

Biting his lip as he attempted to erase the triggered images, Tommy retreated back into the living space and scanned the room for anything else he might need. Adam’s phone charger was plugged into the wall socket, obviously forgotten in the moment. It was swiftly added to a pocket inside the bag.

A light caught his eye. The answer machine was flashing.

Tommy debated the right course of action; _to play or not to play…_ Finally deciding that as most people used Adam’s mobile for personal stuff, the calls on here could be Adam telling him things he needed to bring and…

He hit play.

“You have three new messages…”

The first was from Leila, confirming lunch the following week and she’d sent him a message too. No need to worry about that one.

“Glitterbaby, hope you get this message before you leave for Texas. Can you bring the cream fingerless gloves with the studs on instead of the black ones and my phone charger. We’ve just landed. See you tomorrow. Love you…”

Tommy grinned, the smile fading as the last message played.

“Ad-am, my siippa…I am wrong to leave when we fight. I do not want to break up. You are my love and I will come home to you as soon as I can. _Rakastan sinua_ please answer my call… _please…”_

A long pause followed before the call was cut.

_Fuck…_

Tommy pulled his phone out, his finger hovering over #1 on his speedial. He bit his lip. How would he explain that over the phone… _could_ he even explain it?

His stomach churned at the implications.

Pressing replay, he set his phone to record sound. Once recorded, he shoved it back into his pocket, returned to the bedroom to find Adam’s gloves which he added to the bag, zipped it up and left the apartment.

Twice he headed towards Sutan’s and twice he turned back, eventually driving aimlessly in circles until he ended up back at Adam’s.

Sat on Adam’s bed, he thumbed a message.

Almost immediately, his phone rang. “Hey Babyboy, what you up to?” His butterflies basked happily in the warmth flooding his veins as Adam chuckled contentedly in his ear.

“Just got off the phone with Sauli and getting ready to go to dinner with Bradford and the producer of the breakfast show. How was the rest of your day?”

“Packing’s all sorted, including your gloves and charger…”

“You got my message then…”

“Yeah, and there was one from your mom about lunch…”

“Got that, she always messages me on every device” he laughed “I think she’s convinced I’ll forget otherwise!”

“Mom’s eh! Er…there was another message…” Tommy’s voice trailed away, with no clue how to start and his head jammed with questions that were simply not askable… _fuck…if askable was even a fucking word…_

“Sauli?” Adam’s low whisper had Tommy’s eyes widening.

“Yes”

“S’ok baby, we’re fine. Misunderstanding and all good now…”

“Good, I didn’t…I mean…anyway, just good!” Tommy floundered as his emotions churned.

“Hey, gotta go, my date’s here!” Adam’s laughter was echoed over the airwaves by Bradford’s deep chuckle. “Thank you, baby…” his voice dropped “…for caring. We love you. See you tomorrow morning.”

Managing a “have fun!” Tommy dropped his phone onto the bed and flopped onto his back, a tiny part of him disappointed…

He closed his eyes, imagining…

His phone ringing woke him. “Where the fuck are you, Teebie?” Ashley’s voice held a combination of concern and frustration.

“Oh, fuck! Sorry, fell asleep at Adam’s. On my way now…fuck _fuck…_ ” Tommy cursed and untangled himself from Adam’s pillow which he’d apparently cuddled into at some point during the previous evening.

“Don’t break anything getting here, you’ve got time…see you in a bit!” Ashley hung up.

Tommy checked the time and breathed a sigh of relief. He’d missed their arranged breakfast, but not the flight. Ignoring his grumbling innards, having missed dinner last night as well, Tommy stumbled to the bathroom. A very swift splash in the sink and he was on his way.

They boarded their flight with ten minutes to spare, Tommy taking the teasing with typical good humour. Fond laughter resonated when Ash produced a large breakfast burrito from her bag and Tommy’s face lit up like a kid at Christmas.

His contentment was complete after two cups of surprisingly decent coffee from the steward and the three hour flight passed quickly as they discussed the Texas Tango set and upcoming South African concerts…

With Adam still at the TV studios for his breakfast show slot, Bradford had sent a car for them on arrival and they were soon getting ready to resume the interrupted rehearsal from the previous day.

A hurried huddle to plan a repeat of Bradford’s unveiling for his sister and niece and nephew broke just in time as the door was pushed open and two excited twenty two year olds hurled themselves on Bradford, followed by a casually dressed woman bearing a striking resemblance to their tour manager.

The others grinned as the twins hugged him to a pulp until he was gasping for breath. “Don’t break him!” their mother laughed.

“But, mom, we haven’t seen Uncle Braffy for ages!”

“ _Braffy?_ ” Tommy let out a bellow of laughter “He kept that one quiet!” He held out his hand “Tommy Joe, Adam’s guitarist” pulling her into a hug as she took his hand.

“Suz, mad mom and Brad’s little sister…”

Bradford had managed to loosen the twins’ death grip and now had an arm around each of their shoulders “This is Ian and little miss pout here is Jacqui!”

Chuckles echoed around as Jacqui pouted and stuck her tongue out.

“You can see where the mad mom tag comes from!” Suz grinned.

Introductions were made swiftly and hugs dispensed. Tommy grinned as all three swooned in succession as they each melted into one of Adam’s famous all enveloping hugs. Catching Bradford’s eye, he winked and mimed a chord. They had more surprises still to come…

The room was alive with chatter. Tommy and Ashley were explaining the different sounds from guitar and bass to Suz as Adam talked tattoos with the twins. Ian pushed his sleeve up to show off the lizard on the underside of his forearm. “Me and Jax had one done each to celebrate our twenty firsts last year…”

Adam leant closer “that’s nice work…”

Ian grinned happily.

“Did you both have a lizard” he looked at Jacqui who shook her head and showed her wrist. Adam’s face broke into a smile “Hey, snap! I’ve got an Eye of Horus as well!”

Jacqui blushed “I know, that’s why I chose it.” She tugged on the silver chain around her neck “Mom got me a pendant made the same with my birthstone in it”

“That’s so cool!” Adam settled back against the wall as the discussion moved from tattoos to performing, both twins involved in the arts in their home town. Ian sang and worked with young performers to put on variety shows whilst Jacqui was a dancer. Smiling to himself, Adam wondered what they’d make of Uncle Braffy’s guitar playing…which reminded him…

He glanced around and lowered his voice “So where did the name _Braffy_ come from?”

The twins looked at each other and giggled “Jax couldn’t say _Bradford_ when we were younger so she called him Braffy” Ian shoved his sister playfully “She was so sweet…and note the emphasis on the _was_!”

The tongue reappeared and a minor sibling scuffle ensued, Adam laughing as they traded insults and elbow jabs.

“Ian, Jacqueline!”

“Sorry, mom” They grinned sheepishly at her.

“I think that’s a perfect time for us to get going with rehearsal…” Adam grinned at their crestfallen faces “d’you wanna stay and watch?”

Emphatic nods and muffled squawks had everyone chuckling. Bradford shooed them over to his table at the front of the room and added a couple more chairs.

Everyone took their places, Adam counting them down into _Kickin’ In_. As they approached the final chorus, Bradford removed his jacket and rolled his sleeves up, picking up Tommy’s second guitar to take his place alongside the others. He winked at the twins as their mouths fell open, throwing himself into the three songs he knew how to play. _Shady_ was followed by _Trespassing_ and an emotive rendition of _Whataya Want From Me._

When he rejoined them as Adam moved seamlessly into _If I Had You,_ Suz hugged him hard, tears streaking her cheeks. “You never said…after all these years you finally got to learn…”

“It’s a work in progress! Tommy’s teaching me” he grinned “Adam made it part of my job description!”

Suz laughed through her tears. “Adam’s a beautiful person and they’re all so lovely. I’m so happy you’ve got them…”

The final note of _If I had_ you died away. Adam grinned at Bradford as he slowed to a gentle humming, beckoning a stunned Ian to join him. “You know _Never Close Our Eyes_ right?”

Ian nodded, eyes wide.

“Sing it with me…”

Jacqui grabbed her phone to record her brother’s unexpected shining moment.

The buoyant mood from rehearsal carried through the day, survived a wild dinner with their extended family, and on into the evening.

Once everyone was changed for the performance they had a photo session with _Braffy’s_ family, capturing the day for enduring memories long after the euphoria had faded. Leaving everyone mingling cheerfully, Adam shot off to do his pre-show interview, taking his tea with him, much to the amusement of the interviewer.

Suz, Ian and Jacqui were speechless when Tommy showed them to their VIP seats, the twins bouncing in excitement and anticipation. Tommy chuckled, squeezing their hands before he hurried backstage.

As they were announced, the crowd screamed themselves hoarse for Adam’s Glampire costume, Tommy’s long coat and Ashley’s Cruella outfit, their six song set raising the roof. It was dynamic and all over way too soon…

After final hugs and fond farewells, they were heading to the airport for a midnight flight back to LAX.

On the plane, Tommy leaned back in his seat, his fingers entwined with Adam’s, as he listened to the buzz of chatter around him. Once they were airborne, he was asleep in moments, his dreams happy ones…


	29. Chapter 29

Tommy slept late the following day, having crawled into bed just after four thirty that morning. When he finally resurfaced it was approaching lunchtime, his stomach acutely aware of the fact and grumbling loudly as he crawled slowly to the bathroom. His head ached, he felt like shit and the euphoria of yesterday had well and truly evaporated.

A quick shower; clinical, efficient and sans any form of tension release - he wasn’t in the mood for some right-handed comfort… _fuck, he couldn’t even get it up today…_

Rummaging in his _sad, shit mood_ closet shelf, he dragged out a pair of baggy low-slung jeans and a Freddy vs. Jason t-shirt, added his favourite battered boots and was ready to hit his eaterie of choice…if only he knew what the fuck he felt like eating.

Right now, even that decision was too much…

The darkness moved ever closer as his head was flooded with innumerable unanswerable questions and a heavy blanket of despair added leaden shackles to his ability to think coherently… _fuck…what was the fucking point…_

His phone whispered, Adam’s words of love dragging a twisted smile to his lips… _Adam fucking Lambert…that was the point…_

He stared at the name on the message alert.

The name that made him smile.

The name that made him cry.

The name that owned him.

That name was his reason for living.

_Too dramatic? Probably. Sappy? Definitely._

Another message…another whisper…

“I love you, too” it felt so fucking good to say it aloud, even if it was just him and the toaster in the apartment.

Suddenly possessed with the need to shout it from the rooftops, sanity fled and Tommy danced madly around the room.

“I love you…

_I love you…_

**_I love you…_ **

**_I TOTALLY FUCKING LOVE YOU!_** ”

It was liberating, empowering and before he knew it, he’d grabbed his guitar, rocking some serious riffs and killer licks as he perched precariously on the coffee table…

“Glitterbaby?”

Adam’s voice behind him took him completely by surprise and he spun around, mouth dropping open.

Too fast apparently, as his balance rocked wildly and he pitched forwards, powerless to stop himself falling. The floor rushed up to meet him…

…only Adam got there first; warm, safe and, dude…he smelled fucking fantastic; spice, citrus and all things just _Adam._

Tommy huffed contentedly and clung on as Adam staggered backwards under the impact and they ended up in a heap on the sofa.

“Tommy Joe?”

The last few minutes rolled on slow replay through Tommy’s head. How long had Adam been there? What the fuck was he doing there anyway? _Fuck…if he’d heard…seen…_ Tommy froze in horror in Adam’s arms.

His mind went blank.

Unexpectedly, he giggled, a high pitched, somewhat hysterical giggle.

“Talk to me, baby…you okay?” Adam’s voice resonated with concern.

Tommy attempted to stifle another giggle, partial success resulting in a sound like a distressed parrot squawk crossed with a strangled banshee wail…

Gentle hands peeled his fingers away from their death grip on his guitar, Adam setting the Fender carefully on the floor, before moving in on the tightly curled ball of his best friend now attached to his chest like a limpet.

Tilting his head thoughtfully, Adam reassessed the problem. Tommy didn’t seem physically injured but there was definitely something wrong. Abandoning his efforts to coax Tommy from his startled hedgehog defensive stance, instead, he tightened his arms around the tiny form and rocked them both softly, pressing tiny kisses to Tommy’s hair and any part of him he could reach.

The effect was instant. Tommy relaxed and cuddled in closer, fingers entangling in the fabric of Adam’s top.

“You okay?”

Tommy nodded, rubbing his face against Adam’s neck in a remarkably catlike manner. The contented mumble was more random sound than words, but enough to satisfy Adam that any impending disaster had been averted.

Long minutes of silence passed until, finally, Tommy lifted his head. He blinked slowly.

“Hi”

Adam grinned “Welcome back! You wanna tell me what that was all about?”

Tommy shrugged “Nothing!” Reluctantly he slithered off Adam’s lap, eyes finding the floor as he remembered his moment of madness. He took several steps towards the hall, preparing to bolt for freedom if Adam had seen too much. “How long were you there?”

“Huh? About thirty seconds before you fell off the table!”

“What…” Tommy frowned “ _why_ were you there?”

“I sent you a message…two messages…”

“Oh!” _That_ message tone…

“Hang on, I’ll find them…”

“No…no! Doesn’t matter! Um, yeah…” Tommy edged towards the doorway “bathroom, yeah, be right back!”

Dragging his phone from his pocket as soon as he was safely behind the door, Tommy swiftly reset his message tone to a favourite Brian Slade Velvet Goldmine clip “Rock and Roll is a prostitute, it should be tarted up...” _such an awesome premise right?_

A quick flush of the toilet and hand wash to maintain the illusion and he rejoined Adam, now in the kitchen putting some fresh coffee on. Tommy’s phone hollered Brian Slade twice in swift succession as he loitered in the doorway.

Relief rushing his system, Tommy bit back a gasp and checked the messages. They were both from Adam. “Got your messages, Babyboy!”

**House is too quiet and empty. You fancy lunch before rehearsal? Either way, I’m coming over! A**

Tommy scrolled to the next one **I’m here and letting myself in. hope you’re decent LOL A**

Adam set out two mugs and leant back against the worktop, immediately finding himself with an armful of a very cuddly, pretty kitty.

Both sighed contentedly as they relaxed against each other, the sound of the coffee filtering as it reached the last of the water in the reservoir, echoing noisily in the quiet room.

“This is nice” Adam’s soft whisper against his ear had goose bumps chasing over Tommy’s skin and he burrowed closer into Adam’s embrace.

Silence reigned as the coffee machine completed its cycle and switched to standby.

“I miss him…”

Tommy’s arms snaked around Adam’s waist and squeezed tightly “I know, Babyboy, I know…”

Adam buried his face in Tommy’s hair “Love you, Tommy Joe…”

_I LOVE YOU…really fucking love you…_ Tommy’s mind flashed back to dancing on the table.

“Yeah, you too…”

Somehow the magic had gone and he squeezed again lightly, before wriggling out of Adam’s arms. “Coffee’s done…” He avoided meeting Adam’s eyes, not wanting to see the hurt lurking within those beautiful blue depths.

_Fuck, why does it always go to shit?_

He poured their drinks and ducked under Adam’s outstretched arm, shoving him gently along the countertop to reach into the cupboard behind where Adam had been standing.

“See what shit you got me buying…” He tossed a bag of vegetable chips at Adam who caught them, grinning.

“I’m a good influence on you” Adam preened happily.

“Brain washing more like!” Tommy grumbled, trying to avoid swooning at the sheer beauty of Adam’s face lit up over a stupid bag of chips “I was wandering around the grocery store and when I got to the checkout, these were in my basket…fucking mind control, that’s what it is”

Opening the packet Adam crammed several into his mouth, chuckling as Tommy reached out to grab a handful “Admit it, Glitterbaby, you like them…”

“Yeah, yeah…so they’re not b…” Tommy’s admission was muffled as Adam fed him some more and they broke into giggles like a pair of teenaged girls.

“We’re still doin’ lunch though” Tommy looked up through his eyelashes.

“Hmmm, well, these are quite filling, not sure…” Adam’s eyes twinkled wickedly.

“Bastard! Gimme those fucking chips back” Tommy lunged for the packet as Adam ducked away from his hand and shoved them down the back of his combats, side-stepping back into the living space.

Tommy dived after him, managing to tangle a hand into Adam’s top and they lurched backwards. Adam’s foot caught on the leg of the coffee table and he tumbled to the floor, dragging Tommy with him to land with an inglorious thud on the carpet. The prized vegetable chips crushed under the impact and Adam gurgled helplessly for breath as Tommy sat up triumphantly on his stomach.

“Urrgh!” Adam squirmed, hands pushing feebly to move Tommy off his midriff.

Sliding backwards, Tommy moved down Adam’s body to straddle his hips, the slow drag stirring equal reactions from both.

Eyes widened as blood supplies rerouted.

As Adam’s back arched, Tommy couldn’t help the instinctive corresponding grinding down against the now fully hard bulge in Adam’s pants. Adam moaned…a dirty wanton moan…

The gasp escaping Tommy’s lips was cut off mid-breath as Adam reached up to grab a handful of t-shirt, tugging Tommy’s face down to his own as he crushed their mouths together and tongues tangled as their fierce kiss deepened, becoming progressively hotter and wetter…

Adam’s legs wrapped around Tommy’s as they writhed against each other.

Grabbing at Tommy’s hair, Adam pulled hard, tangling his fingers deep into the fading purple locks. He nipped at Tommy’s lip, tongue tracing every contour of his mouth, suddenly rolling them over to finish up on top with Tommy’s tiny body, hot and hard, beneath him.

Pulling away, Adam grinned at the needy whimper as Tommy gazed up at him, liquid brown eyes darkened with want. Reclosing the gap, Adam owned Tommy’s mouth and they lost themselves in each other as hands fumbled at belts and buttons…

“Shift that pretty arse, T-bone…time to get u…oh fuck!” Mike’s cheerful shout died mid-sentence as he wandered into the apartment, a bulging takeout bag dangling from his wrist.

“Fuck! Ouch!” Adam rolled off him as Tommy jabbed a knee into his stomach. Sitting up, Tommy looked debauched, hair dishevelled, eyes glazed and lips pink and kiss swollen.

Mike put his hands up “sorry, dude, didn’t mean to interr…I’ll get outta…”

“Stay…” Tommy met his gaze, pleading.

Mike flicked his eyes towards Adam who looked away, nodding minutely.

“There’s plenty for three. I’ll sort some plates…”

Mike vanished into the kitchen.

“Tommy…”

“Don’t!”

“But…”

“Don’t fucking apologise or tell me you shouldn’t have…” The hurt in Tommy’s voice had Adam reaching towards him, dropping his hands back at his sides as Tommy scrambled backwards, out of Adam’s reach.

Uncomfortable silence filled the air as sounds of crockery clattering drifted through from the kitchen.

Tommy stood the coffee table back up and dragged himself onto the sofa, biting his lip as he studied his fingers.

“What the fuck?” Adam stood up and wriggled, shoving his hand down the back of his pants. The rustle of foil preceded a shower of crumbs as the forgotten crushed chips remerged into the light.

Tommy looked up, meeting Adam’s horrified eyes as chips made their way into places they were never intended for. He grinned and they burst out laughing, relief as awkwardness gave way to hilarity and Adam finished unzipping his combats just as Mike returned with plates and cutlery.

“Whoa fucker, not again!” Mike watched Adam brushing remnants of crushed vegetable chips from his freckled skin as Tommy laughed helplessly on the sofa. “What the…”

“Don’t ask!” Adam rolled his eyes and threw the empty packet at his giggling guitarist.

“Please tell me you’re going to pull your pants back up before we eat!” Mike grinned and headed back out for their drinks.

Peace reigned once more as Adam was fully dressed by the time Mike had poured the coffee and they sat back to enjoy the array of noodles and black bean beef Mike had chosen. Conversation turned to music once they’d dealt with the veggie chips saga and a deep discussion ensued on the merits of the different Queen albums. _Sheer Heart Attack_ was lovingly placed on the turntable and the neighbours once again treated to some of the best rock music ever written…with a few additional voices…

Mike and Tommy fell silent as Adam’s voice soared and they listened open-mouthed to a Mercury-Lambert duet of _Killer Queen_ …

“Fucking awesome dude” Mike was visibly moved and even Tommy had to admit to a serious case of fan-boy, despite having seen Adam with Brian and Roger up close and personal. Something about that music and Adam’s voice… _made_ to go together…

Tommy added it to the several thousand reasons he loved Adam.

As the final track, _Lap of the Gods[revisited]_ faded out, Mike stretched and stood up regretfully, grabbing Adam’s hand to haul him off the sofa in turn. The pair eyed Tommy who pouted “’m comfortable…”

Adam glanced across and winked “guess we’ll have to tickle him…”

“Fuckers, don’t you even thi…” Loud shrieks confirmed they were more than able, to not only think it, but carry out said threat. Tommy was on his feet and gathering plates in under sixty seconds. Mike went back to work, Tommy stacked the dishwasher and Adam vacuumed the floor to remove the crushed chip confetti strewn far and wide.

Ten minutes later, they were headed to Adam’s makeshift studio to finalise and rehearse their setlist for the Sirius OutQ Fishbowl performance in New York the following day.

Once settled on the floor with the sheet music around their feet, Adam had a quick skype call with Larry Flick to confirm the recorded tracks they were playing and to check for any particular requests.

It was a lively and productive conversation with much laughter. Larry rang off once they’d sorted out the order for the hour long programme, promising to take them both to lunch after the show.

Tommy reached for his notebook, carefully heading up a new page with the date of the gig. Adam peered over his shoulder “same book?”

“Yep, right back to the very first time I played for you…” he stroked the page fondly “so many memories… Now, be useful and read out the list!”

Adam grinned “bossy little kitty aren’t we!”

Tommy tossed his hair “Meow! Didn’t you say you were good with pussycats?”

“Remind me to get you a saucer of milk when we’re done!” He laughed “Ready?”

“Go for it…”

“ _Cuckoo_ recorded track, _Whataya want from me_ live, _Trespassing_ live, _Shady_ recorded, he thinks he’s got one of the early versions of that one, _Outlaws of Love_ live, _Broken English_ recorded, _Better than I know myself, Fever and Purple Haze,_  all live and end with the Bruno Marsh mash up recorded version of _Never Close Our Eyes…”_

Tommy finished writing them in, tapping his pencil thoughtfully against his lips. “I don’t think we’ve done a live acoustic performance of _Better than_ before?”

“We haven’t, and that’s because it’s so much in my lower register, makes it hard to sing well live _and_ acoustic, but it’s Larry’s favourite so it has to be in there, plus _Purple Haze_ …” Adam chuckled “somehow, I doubt we’ll be drinking Tequilla so it’ll be a rare sober rendition of _Haze_ …”

Laughter aside, they worked their way through each song, adjusting those not usually performed with just an acoustic guitar until both were happy with the arrangements. Finally, they cleared the paper aside to rehearse them.

They rattled through the first three with ease, moving on to _Better than I know myself._ On the sixth restart after additional tweaking, the door opened to a weary Sauli. Adam’s face lit up but he carried on singing, waving his boyfriend to the couch.

Tommy concentrated on playing the notes, on following Adam’s lead and shoved aside the earlier discussion they’d had on the meaning of the lyrics…everything that connected this song with the man now sat in the room with them… _his friend_ … _his rival…the man who made Adam happy…_

The final notes echoed as Adam’s voice faded. They’d nailed it this time. Only now did Adam move across to fold Sauli into his arms and kiss him tenderly. “Welcome home, kultsi. Rough journey?”

“Five hour delay and big storm so it was a bumpy ride.”

 “I would’ve come to meet you…”

“I know. But you had work to do. I was okay in a cab and I am home now.” He traced a finger softly down the side of Adam’s face. “I am home and will go clean up so you can finish your work…”

Winking at Sauli, Tommy stood up. “We’re done…” He nodded at Adam “ _Fever_ and _Purple Haze_ are good. Think we’ve aced _Better than_ now, so we’re done, right?” Reaching for his guitar case, Tommy gathered up his notebook and sheet music, tucking everything in safely and packed his guitar away on top. Hoisting the case over his shoulder he headed for the door.

“I’ll walk you out…” Adam dropped a light kiss to Sauli’s lips “Back in a minute, baby.”

Adam insisted on waiting with him for the elevator “You don’t have to run off…”

“Sauli needs your attention more than we need to rehearse.” Tommy shrugged “You can pick me up an hour earlier if you want, but we’re good, we know what we’re doing…” The doors pinged open and Tommy stepped inside.  “See you tomorrow, Babyboy” As the doors closed Tommy slumped back against the wall, the barely-kept-at-bay darkness threatening to move in on him once more.

As soon as he hit the ground floor, Tommy fled to Sutan’s, his life partner wrapping him into Raja’s warm embrace to rock the hurt away and set him to work behind the scenes to take his mind off his woes.

Much later, Tommy fell asleep cuddled safe and warm in Sutan’s arms, his demons back in their box thanks to some sound reassurances from his friend and a generous tumbler of JD night cap.

A hangover was guaranteed in the morning…

After an early wake up call, some strong coffee and a couple of pain killers, Tommy was hugging his emphatic thank yous to a sleepy Sutan before heading home to grab some breakfast and a change of clothes.

His head was a tad fuzzy but nothing too bad and the tangled mass of his emotions were once again on a more or less, even keel. As always, the lady Raja had straightened him out… _pun most definitely intended…_

A hot shower, a firm grip to a satisfying climax and he was ready to face the world...to face Adam. Black jeans, black Metallica tee, black zip-up jacket and black creepers…definitely a full-on black garb day; hair artfully tousled into place with magic wax, light make up to emphasise his kohl-lined eyes and the contrast with pink tinted lip gloss…

_Looking good, Ratliff…_

His phone buzzed as he was staring at his reflection. Adam was on his way. Bradford was meeting them at the airport.

Tommy re-read Adam’s message. There was no mention of Sauli being with him.

Deciding he’d deal with whatever was thrown at him, Tommy picked his guitar case up, slung his backpack over his shoulder and took a final glance around the apartment before heading down to wait on the sidewalk.

Adam was alone. Tommy shoved his gear on the back seat and hopped in. “Good to go?”

Clicking his belt into place, Tommy nodded “Yep” his sidelong glance taking in the crop of fresh purple bruises peeking out from under the neckline of Adam’s silky fabric leopard print top.

Home _coming_ had gone well it appeared… _just stop it with the fucking puns…_

“No Sauli today?”

Adam opened his mouth to reply, closing it again without speaking. He shook his head, reaching down to reset the cd player so the sound of Bruno Mars _Locked out of heaven_ filled the car.

Tommy took the hint and gazed out of the window.

Twice, three times, Adam started to say something, only to stop before he got past the initial “ _Tommy_..?”

Now he looked closer, Tommy could see the dark shadows hidden beneath Adam’s cleverly applied make-up. Knowing what made Adam tick, Tommy waited, knowing eventually he’d find the words he was obviously searching for.

In the meantime, he slid a hand onto Adam’s knee and squeezed softly, wordlessly offering his support.

Adam flashed him a tiny smile before returning his attention to the road.

Nothing further was mentioned and they went through the usual checking in at the airport, having met Bradford outside as arranged. The three of them went straight through security to grab a coffee and kill time before their flight.

Bradford had already settled with his headphones and immersed himself into the film, promising Tommy, with a grin, that he would do his homework as soon as the film had finished.

“No cookies until you do, mister!” Tommy shoved Braffy’s shoulder playfully, tutting at the single finger reply. About to add another retort, Tommy turned instantly as Adam tugged on his sleeve.

Following Adam to one of the tiny tables at the front of the cabin, they sat down. Adam ordered two Jack on the rocks, holding his glass out to Tommy for a toast. They clinked  glasses “to simplicity and uncomplicated relationships” Adam’s tone was bitter.

Tommy’s eyebrows rose but he said nothing, waiting…

“We had a massive row. I told him he’d be bored today as he’d be sat outside with Bradford most of the time. He said he should’ve stayed in Finland if I didn’t want him…” Tommy let him talk, as more and more tumbled out, the words spilling out faster and faster like a torrent now the plug had been pulled.

Tommy reached for Adam’s hand and linked their fingers together, stroking the freckled skin reassuringly as Adam’s breath came in heaving gasps and he slumped into Tommy’s arms, drained after his cathartic unburdening.

Questions fired in Tommy’s head – inappropriate and personal questions ricocheting from synapse to synapse… _so are you…what about all those love bites…did you..?_

“Thank you” Adam’s whisper against his neck sent goose bumps chasing over Tommy’s flesh and delicious tingles zinging to his nerve endings. His arms closed tighter around Adam’s warm body, losing himself in that wonderful aroma of everything _Adam…_

Long moments passed until Adam gently uncurled himself from Tommy’s embrace and sat up. He lifted Tommy’s hand to his lips and kissed it softly. “I don’t think I’d survive without you” he reached for Tommy’s other hand, bringing them both to his mouth to pepper the pale skin with more kisses.

“You know I love you and I’m always here for you…” _totally fucking love you…_ “So, are you okay now?”

The question was deliberately vague, so Adam could choose how, or if, he wanted to answer it.

“We both said sorry and I took him to bed…”

Tommy tore his gaze from the sudden flash of heat in Adam’s eyes… _fuckfuckfuck…_

“…it’s just we seem to fight every time he comes home – or doesn’t come home…” Adam sighed heavily “I want it back how it was before…”

“When he was an unknown over here, when he was just… _Adam Lambert’s boyfriend_?” Tommy surprised himself with the ferocity of his response in defence of his rival… _his friend…_

“No…I mean…” Adam frowned “when we got to spend more time together before all that other stuff got in the way.” Cupping Tommy’s face, he pressed a chaste kiss to his lips “I’ll make more effort to be with him when he’s here…like tonight when we get back I’ll wine and dine him and carry him off to my lair to love him into tomorrow…” Adam grinned wickedly “thanks, baby”

Forcing a grin, Tommy drained the rest of his glass as his stomach churned unhappily and his butterflies reached for the diazepam… _way to go Ratliff…_

_But if it makes him happy…_

Nodding at the stewardess, Tommy ordered another drink…

The Sirius interview and performance was great fun and they managed to capture a mood and connection reminiscent of a cross between GNT and their acoustic radio tour promoting _Trespassing._ Larry Flick was a scream, an out queen who said exactly what he thought and his listeners adored him for it. It was refreshing and Tommy was genuinely sorry as they swung into the first bars of _Purple Haze,_ signalling the end of their brief residence in this vibrant and constantly moving city.

True to his word, Larry whisked them off to a late lunch after the show, the four of them sharing life stories accompanied with much laughter and copious amounts of fine wine.

By the time they were back on the return flight, Tommy was feeling deliciously mellow, adorably cuddly and very sleepy, snuggling into Adam as the plane roared on back towards LAX.

He slept the entire flight, grumbling when Adam woke him to prepare for landing, and was asleep again for the car journey home. Sharing a sleepy kiss with an amused Adam, Tommy was deposited into Mike’s care where he promptly took himself off to bed.

Guitar lessons - exciting and fun guitar lessons - a visit to his mom and lunch with Brad ensured that Tommy had no time to brood and the two days between his _Adam_ fix passed relatively pain-free.

He’d be lying, however, if he denied paying special attention to his choice of clothes and make up for the Napa Valley rehearsal… _sap central, thank you…I’m here all week…_

He should’ve know something was up when Adam messaged to say he’d meet them there…

His heart skipped several beats as Adam bounded in through the door. He looked fucking edible; a new haircut and colour touch up, battered jeans and favourite barcode tee topping his beloved knee high lace-up boots, eyes sparkling and skin glowing… _so fucking hot it should be illegal…_

Rehearsal for their seven song set flew by, a new arrangement for _Chokehold_ and a progress review solo performance of _Is this Love_ from Bradford featuring during the morning. Tommy beamed with something akin to paternal pride as Adam bumped knuckles with Bradford “you fucking aced it...” Adam grinned at his delighted tour manager “stay put and we’ll all play this time…”

The room resonated to the reggae sound of good friends and cool music…

They’d barely stowed their instruments before Adam was shouting his goodbyes and flying out of the door, obviously not intending to stay for the traditional post-rehearsal lunch at the Diner over the road.

Tommy hid his disappointment as Adam hugged everyone briefly and was gone.

Over lunch they discussed the gig the following day, a mere one hour flight away. Tommy zoned out, wondering what Adam was doing…what he and Sauli had planned that was _so_ important he couldn’t stay for a measly lunch with his band…

Ashley nudged him “Earth to Tommy!”

“Huh? Sorry, miles away…”

She smiled “I kinda got that bit!” leaning closer her lips brushed his ear “would that be four hundred miles away?”

“Huh?” confusion crinkled his brow.

“Adam and Sauli are staying at the Vineyard overnight. That’s why he had to rush off, to catch their flight…we’ve been talking about it since Brian’s blueberry pie arrived” she paused, lowering her voice as a fleeting shadow crossed Tommy’s face before he schooled it into a careful grin “you okay?”

Not trusting himself to speak, Tommy nodded.

Ashley squeezed his hand, understanding.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of nothingness. Tommy slouched on the sofa watching his way through the box set of The Golden Girls.

With remarkable self-control he left the bottle of Jack in the cupboard, indulging instead, in full sugar pop and a massive bag of popcorn.

The night was no release as his insomnia chose now to return… _no fucking consideration at all_ …consequently, he found himself in the bathroom at three am bleaching his hair back to blond, finally crashing face down onto his bed as the sun was rising.

His alarm woke him at ten and he hauled his sorry arse off to the shower, turning the dial to cold for a shock system restart.

It almost worked.

Dressed and ready to go, he slumped into the armchair and lost himself in replays of fan videos from GNT; masochism before a concert probably not the best idea he’d ever had…  

Salvation arrived in the shape of maple bacon doughnuts and strong coffee attached to his best… _his only…_ guitar protégé. Bradford grinned as Tommy visibly revitalised with every mouthful, finally slapping him on the backside as he hustled them out of the door.

Their flight took off on time, with arrival in Napa scheduled for ten past three and a soundcheck pencilled in for half past five. The rest of the time they were free to enjoy the delights of the Vineyard… _so not a good idea in his present state of mind…_

Adam and Sauli met them as they piled off the minibus, the pair radiating newly invigorated love and blissful happiness as they held hands and couldn’t stop touching each other for more than ten seconds...

Tommy was torn. He was happy Adam was happy but…

_What about me?_

Dumping their gear in the adjoining room to Adam’s, they gathered in the bar for coffee and Bradford’s run through of the event programme. They were scheduled to start at nine o’clock, needing to be backstage at eight. Before then – apart from a twenty minute window for soundcheck – they were free to explore…

Everyone scattered after their coffee. Tommy stood at the window of the band room and watched the multitude of happy smiling faces, his friends blending into the crowds with matching smiles to leave him alone and feeling like he was the only person left in the entire world.

_Lonely_ fucking sucked…

Feeling the tears rushing his eyes, he crawled onto the bed and let them fall, soaking into the high thread count Egyptian cotton pillowcase.

A subdued, but in control again, lead guitarist took his place at soundcheck...

Adam looked fucking amazing on stage, several shirt buttons open to show tantalising amounts of freckled chest, new jacket and pants both stylish and figure hugging. He bounced around, huge smiles and full of vitality as he bantered with the audience, even cheekily suggesting sexy ways to communicate as he introduced _Broken English…_

_…Sauli’s song…_

Seven songs had never felt so long…

Pouring his pain into his playing, Tommy’s solos drew admiring gasps from his bandmates and cheers from the audience, the music surrounding him and owning his soul…

Trooping off stage as the crowd screamed for more, Tommy’s mood had lifted a little but not enough to join the others for the after-party. It was only Adam’s pleading look as he steered Tommy over to introduce him to the Managing Director of Hennessey Artistry that kept the false smile plastered on his face.

With Adam’s arm draped around his shoulders and real and intelligent questions about his music, Tommy began to enjoy himself, the false smile giving way to a genuine grin. This wasn’t so bad after all…even when Sauli joined them and claimed half of Adam’s attention, Tommy’s grin remained in place.

Finally shaking hands with Hector… _Hector Hennessey, his parents obviously had a sense of humour…_ Tommy was sorry to leave as they prepared to head back to the airport. Adam and Sauli were staying the night again and flying back in the morning. Hugging them both tightly, Tommy climbed into the minibus and minutes later they were homeward bound.

The next week was noticeably Adam-free. Tommy tried to keep busy and even managed a Happy Anniversary message in the morning, confirming all the arrangements secretly with Sauli for that evening.

Watching as a gorgeously-dinner-suited Sauli led an equally suited, and currently blindfolded, Adam out to the roof garden and the table surrounded with dozens of different candles, Tommy stayed long enough to give Sauli the thumbs up before taking himself back into the apartment.

Signs of pre-dressing intimacy were evident in torn condom wrappers, strewn clothing and abandoned towels, the bed a tangled mass of sheets. Gritting his teeth, Tommy quickly made the bed and neatly folded the various articles of clothing. Condom wrappers were dumped in the trash.

Retrieving the hidden bag of supplies from Sauli’s closet, Tommy scattered the rose petals and plugged in the assorted flameless candles, leaving the ipod in its dock and placing the remote just inside the door for easy access. The champagne was set in its bucket of ice on the dressing table next to the glasses. A final glance around to check all was in place and Tommy headed out of the front door, resisting the urge to sneak a look at proceedings out by the pool.

Checking Twitter as he waited for the elevator his heart both sank and flipped at Adam’s latest tweet **Two year anniversary dinner with @saulikosinen1 so much to celebrate**

A direct message from Sauli helped to ease the churning in his stomach a little, the simple **You are best minun ystavani. He is so happy. Thank you**

Home again, Tommy headed straight for his room, his own bottle ready and waiting.

An endless night beckoned as he lost himself in the bottom of a glass…


	30. Chapter 30

Twenty four hours of oblivion later, Tommy prised his eyes open to the unsurprising reality that the wild mix of beer, JD and tequila in vast quantities resulted in a stomach more at home on choppy seas in a force ten hurricane and a full scale demolition team, complete with wrecking ball, resident inside his skull…

_Why the fuck didn’t I listen to Mike?_

Hindsight was a wonderful thing…

He groped at his phone to silence the alarm and made grabby hands at the pot of painkillers and bottle of water his housemates had very thoughtfully left for him.

Washing down three Aspirin, _yeah his head hurt that fucking much, what about a bit of sympathy for his suffering..._ and draining the bottle thirstily, Tommy aimed the remote at the TV and turned it on.

He winced at the brightness of the screen and turned the sound down… _like I said, some sympathy would be nice…_

_All self-inflicted…circumstances fail to meet approved criteria for sympathetic response…_

Following a hurried bathroom visit, Tommy crawled back under the covers.

Cheers from the production crew heralded the Adam’s arrival onto the VH1 Big Morning Buzz Live set. Carrie Keagan hugged him tightly before they settled into their comfy chairs and started chatting like they’d seen each other yesterday...it was relaxed, informal and full of laughter.

Watching from his bed, knees pulled up close to his body, Tommy pined as the love of his life sparkled and captivated the TV Buzz viewers. The big announcement wasn’t a surprise, having already had an excited phone call from Adam as soon as he’d been approached to host Divas, the fanboy squeal down the line at his Madonna song loud enough to shatter ear drums at fifty paces.

Some of the twitter questions made him grin, until one asked how Adam would spend his last day on earth…

_Of course it was right he should spend it with his boyfriend…but calling him ‘my love’ and teasing they’d spend the day having sex…_

_Fuck it Adam_ … _that hurt…_

His finger hovered over the standby button, but somehow, he just couldn’t stop watching.

Carrie’s final question and little mistletoe kiss finally dragged a smile to his lips and it was with immense satisfaction he recalled the many steamy kisses he’d shared with Adam, both on and off the stage…

Memories came thick and fast, prompting an abrupt rerouting in corpuscle control as he hurled the bedclothes aside and headed for the shower. Crystal blue eyes and a smile to die for filled his head, jostling for supremacy alongside the recollection of Adam’s devilish tongue probing every crevice of his mouth… His hands slid down his wet skin…

Drawing out the pleasure as long as possible, he teased his sensitive flesh, slowing to a tantalisingly light touch before gipping hard and fast until he groaned his release and sank to the floor on legs too weak to hold him upright.

It was some time before he was in a fit state to totter back to his room and find some clothes. He had a lunch date with Brad and later, a date of sorts with Liz, having promised to go and watch her play bass for The Barbarians at Solli’s…

Chewing absently on a soggy piece of toast as he prowled around the apartment, his phone ringing was a welcome distraction from the well-worn thinking pattern he’d adopted in these days of sparse _Adam…_

He answered without looking to see who it was “Yep!”

“Glitterbaby…” his butterflies launched into frenzied flight at the sound of Adam’s voice.

“Babyboy…” _play it cool, Ratliff…_

“Did you watch me on Buzz Live?”

“That was _today_? Dayum, did I miss it?” Tommy teased gently.

“Fucker, of course you saw it!” Adam laughed and Tommy’s face broke into a huge happy grin. This was _them…how they were…_

“Yeah, I saw you…what was that monster bracelet thing you were sporting? You could take someone’s eye out!” Tommy chuckled as Adam huffed indignantly across the airwaves.

 “ _That_ was fashion…”

“If you say so!” Tommy’s grin widened “But you looked pretty fucking hot…”

“ _Really_?”

“Yeah, really…”

They lapsed into silence, neither wanting to break the mood by speaking, just the sound of gentle breathing over the miles. It was a comfortable silence…

“Ad-am, the car is here…” Sauli’s voice filtered through the quiet and the spell was broken.

“Transport’s here to take us back to the airport. I can report your student has been practicing his air guitar all the way here…” Adam paused, voice dropping to a whisper “come to dinner, tomorrow…please? I… _we_ miss you…”

“Miss you too…”

“You’ll come?” the sound of Adam’s smile lit up the airwaves.

“Yeah…”

“Seven o’clock okay? Love you baby”

“You too, oh and tell Braffy I’ll see him in the morning…”

“Will do…” Adam lingered, his quiet breathing the only sound down the line.

Tommy bit his lip and imagined Sauli standing patiently by the door, waiting for Adam to finish his call. Why was it so hard to say goodbye? Closing his eyes briefly, he took a breath in “Safe journey, dude. See you tomorrow.” He cut the call before he could change his mind.

With the hammering inside his head now down to a bearable thud, Tommy sorted out the music for Bradford’s next new songs _If I had you, Naked Love_ and _Cuckoo._ With the progress he was making, their tour manager was well on target to have nailed most of the setlist by the time they hit Shanghai.

Satisfied he’d hit the right notes for simplifying the three tunes, Tommy added a reggae vibe to _Outlaws of Love,_ something he and Adam had toyed with in one of the recent jam sessions.

After hearing it several times through in his head, Tommy played it on his acoustic, nodding approval at the way it sounded. With the sheet music filed away in his guitar case, Tommy grabbed his jacket and headed out to meet Brad.

Lunch was the usual mix of slow torture as Brad extracted Tommy’s tangled thought processes and volatile emotions, and fun as he rebuilt Tommy’s defences and dusted off his battered self esteem. They finished with much laugher and their now signature dessert of suggestive cheesecake, to the bemusement of fellow patrons who failed to appreciate how two men feeding each other could result in so much hilarity.

Brad never failed to leave Tommy feeling like he could conquer the world and he hugged him tightly as they stood by their respective cars.

Buoyed with love and energy, Tommy hummed his way around the grocery store, laughing aloud as he added multiple bags of vegetable chips to his cart.

The rest of the afternoon flew by as he threw himself into a domestic sprint, finally leaving a casserole simmering on timer in the oven for when Mike and Tanya arrived home; an apology for his undoubted abysmal behaviour under the influence…

The evening was far more fun than he’d expected, with an old school buddy on drums and Cam on keys so it was a lively catch up session and when the lead guitar asked if he wanted to join them for their cover of _All along the Watchtower,_ Tommy jumped at the chance of rockin’ some Hendrix…

“That was so much fun!” Cam hugged Tommy close “when Liz said her boyfriend played guitar, I never put it together…”

“Boyfriend? She said I was her…”

Cam laughed and draped an arm around his shoulder “she’s got it so bad for you…she hasn’t stopped talking about _my boyfriend this_ and _my boyfriend that…”_

“Oh fuck!” Tommy sighed heavily “we’re just friends…”

“Uh oh!” Cam pressed a kiss to his cheek “been brilliant to share a stage with you again. Shall we slide off to the bar before she comes looking for you? You can bring me up to date with the rest of the gang”

Even the _boyfriend_ thing couldn’t dampen Tommy’s mood and he finally crawled into his bed in the early hours, pleasantly mellow and asleep in moments. 

Bradford’s guitar lesson started with a joyful jam of the songs they’d done so far, with laughter and free-flowing solos as they rocked their souls out. Breathless, they sank to the floor and worked through the songs Tommy had prepared for Braffy’s homework.

The apartment was too quiet once Bradford had left and Tommy prowled restlessly, reluctant to admit to the nervous anticipation at the thought of dinner playing gooseberry to a loved up Adam and Sauli.  

With no conscious thought, his feet took him downstairs, into his car and to Sutan.

After hugging Tommy fiercely as he rambled anxiously about not being alone with the newly revitalised lovebirds, Sutan held out his hand for Tommy’s phone and tapped a swift message, handing it back with a grin at the reply.

“Now come, Vayvee, and help Raja pick an outfit suitable for our date…” 

Tommy looked at his phone ‘ **Course you can bring a date. Can’t wait to meet her and I’m a little jealous she gets to have you *wink A**

He gazed at Sutan, his mouth dropping open “I love you!”

“Of course you do! Now, what shall the Lady Raja wear? Shy and demure for a first date?” He fluttered his eyelashes.

By the time Tommy had stopped laughing, Sutan had lined up a row of outfits ranging from the kind of frock you’d wear to escort your granny to the theatre, all the way through to something more suitable on a street corner touting for business!

Impressed, he inspected the middle range items, finally picking a red fitted dress with a low cut sweetheart neckline, accessorised with a gold belt and gold trim to the three quarter length sleeves.

“Good choice, Vayvee. Now hang the rest away whilst Raja makes herself beautiful for you.”

Tommy whistled as Raja emerged from the bathroom. She oozed class and sex in one; the dress clung to her curves and the knee high red leather boots added height and style. A long gold chain with teardrop crystal pendant nestled between her breasts and red lipstick emphasised the soft fullness of her lips. Finally, a fine gauze red pashmina, woven with thin gold thread, completed the look with timeless elegance.

“Fuck it, gurl, you look fucking gorgeous” Tommy let out a slow breath _. It was going to be okay…_

Raja extended her hand for Tommy’s kiss, accepting the compliment with a smile. Arm in arm, they headed out to Raja’s car…

The evening passed quickly, full of fun and laughter, good food and fine wine. Raja played the besotted new love beautifully, fluttering her eyelashes and cuddling close every time Tommy cracked a joke, stroking his hair off his face so she could whisper into his ear.

More than once, Raja noted that possessive gleam flash in Adam’s eyes as he watched them…

They took their leave just after midnight, Raja sliding elegantly into the cab in complete contrast to Tommy, who tripped in through the door to land face down in her lap. They were still giggling when the driver dropped them off.

One large nightcap later, they were curled up in Sutan’s bed, asleep in moments.

Morning saw only minor hangovers and after two mugs of coffee they were en route to collect Sutan’s car. Stood next to the sedan, Tommy hugged Sutan fiercely “Thank you, boo.”

“Raja had fun, Vayvee, and if you weren’t so smitten with some sexy-arse singer, we’d make a pretty couple…” the accompanying wink drew a grin to Tommy’s face.

“We _were_ fucking hot!”

“And he noticed!” Slapping Tommy’s arse, Sutan opened his car door. “See you before you flee the country, right?”

“Count on it!” Tommy closed the door and stepped back. He watched his life partner drive away before turning a wistful gaze on the building behind him. There was no sign of Adam or Sauli, or, to be fair, no sign of _anyone_ …

Pulling away, he forced his eyes on the road ahead…

The days between dinner at Adam’s and the next scheduled rehearsal were a turbulent mix of hard work - but fun - guitar lessons, trips to the dry cleaners and packing, separate lunch rendezvous with Brad, Liz, Sutan, and his sister and niece, and morose black moods where he couldn’t be fucking arsed to do anything other than slob in his sleep pants and watch reruns of his favourite tv shows.

During those days he only had one message from Adam, acknowledging Tommy’s thanks for a fun evening. Other than that, it was radio blackout...

…and knowing Adam was probably fucking Sauli’s brains out in case it was the last day of existence, really didn’t help…

Against his better judgement, and after too many shots at Solli’s, Tommy sought solace for his wounded ego and the burning need for something other than his right hand, ending up in Liz’s bed…

He was agreeably surprised when she smiled sweetly at him the next morning, agreed it was mutually enjoyable but nothing serious and proceeded to kiss him into submission for a repeat performance.

Consequently, he made it to rehearsal by the skin of his teeth, that undeniable just shagged glow and mottled purple bruises on his neck advertising beyond any reasonable doubt his very recent activities…

“So, _now_ we’re all here…” Adam smiled a welcome, the warmth not reaching his eyes as his penetrating scan took in the signs of hurried dressing and energetic lovemaking. “Setlist for Cape Town and Jo-berg; as it’s our first time live out there we’ve gone for a mix of old and new… Our guitarist has some amendments for us to go with Brian’s list you all have…” Adam’s eyes narrowed “As you weren’t here when we handed them out, Tommy, you’ll need to get one from the table…”

Tommy’s heart sank as he grabbed the sheet music from his guitar case and an updated list of songs from the table at the back of the room…. _fuck it…now he’s pissed at me…_ His defensive hackles rose “I wasn’t late…”

Adam shrugged and reached for his copy of the music.

Peace reigned for the first nine songs until they reached the _Outlaws of love_ into _Is this love_ mix.

Adam peered over the top of his sheet “in between his wild social whirl and party lifestyle, Tommy’s kindly _squeezed_ in the time to add a reggae groove to the second half of _Outlaws…_ We’ve done it slow and sombre enough times now, so maybe it’s ready for a bit of hopeful optimism that things are changing. That leads us straight into _Is this love…_ Any thoughts?”

Nods and murmurs of agreement echoed around the circle, along with sympathetic glances and curious raised eyebrows for Tommy at Adam’s sarcastic outburst. 

Tommy’s anger simmered throughout the remainder of the read through. When they broke for coffee he stood up. “A word, please”

Adam’s eyebrows rose “Here? Now?” His eyes bore into Tommy’s. Tommy met his stare without flinching, well and truly pissed off now and at a loss as to his crime.

Neither blinked, oblivious of the silence that had descended over the room as the others looked on warily.

Someone’s phone beeped and Adam glanced up as everyone turned away in an attempt to disguise the obvious fact they’d all been staring.

“Outside. You’ve got two minutes, and it had better be good, Tommy Joe”

The second the door closed behind them, Tommy exploded “ _What the fuck’s_ got into you, today? I **_wasn’t_** late, and even if I was, there’s no need to treat me like a fucking leper or something you scraped off your foot. I’m worth more than that and I don’t live in a social whirl, that’s fucking unfair, you know I’m not…”

“Have you quite finished?” Adam cut across his tirade.

Tommy’s mouth opened to resume, his anger turning to incredulity as Adam continued.

“How long have you been sleeping with Sutan?”

“What the fuck?”

“How long? I need to know” Adam’s eyes filled with tears.

 “I’m not…”

“I can see…” Adam’s voice hitched “ _those marks on your neck…”_

Tommy’s hand shot to his neck and he quashed the guilty rush of triumph… _Adam noticed them…he noticed them and he was…was what? Pissed off? Jealous? What if…_

“Tommy, please…just tell me…please…”

Dragging himself back from his musing, Tommy took Adam’s hands “Liz…not… _never_ Sutan. Sutan’s my life partner and I love him, love Raja, but not like that…” He tilted his head to one side, exposing the marked skin “all female teeth marks, see!”

Jerking one hand free, Adam slid it around the back of Tommy’s neck, pulling him closer. Tommy’s senses swooned as the aroma of everything _Adam_ filled his nostrils and he zoned out, his hand tangling in the fabric of Adam’s top.

The slow drag of Adam’s tongue tracing wetly over his bruises sent shockwaves ricocheting through his body, blood supplies charging southwards to swell impressively in his pants and he gasped. That gasp morphed into a needy whimper as Adam’s teeth grazed the surface of his skin, breaking contact to whisper “can I?”

The answering gurgle was enough and Adam reclosed the gap to suck on his tender flesh, teeth biting down to replace Liz’s branding with his own.

Tommy melted in Adam’s hold, eyes glazing over as his remaining corpuscles joined the excited throng below his waistline.

Finally content all female DNA had been erased from Tommy’s skin, Adam released him, tracing a finger softly down the side of his face. “I’m sorry, baby. I was such an arse…”

“Pig-headed, overbearing, fuckwit moody arse, if you please”

“All of them and more” Adam pressed their lips together lightly “forgive me?”

“If I must!” Tommy gave an exaggerated sigh, supressing the happy grin that threatened to burst out from behind the affronted, put-upon expression he was modelling.

“Please, Glitterbaby…” Tiny kisses peppered Tommy’s face and the grin broke free, pulling a matching grin to Adam’s face. He held out his hand “shall we?”

Hand in hand, they rejoined the others.

“Aww, the kidlings have made up!” Rick chuckled, nudging Ashley as she stifled a giggle.

“You okay? Really, okay?” Her quiet murmur hidden behind a pretended adjustment to the amp levels showed her real concern.

“Yeah, no idea what set him off, but he thought I was sleeping with Sutan…” Tommy shook his head in disbelief “I mean, I love him and all, but, he’s like my life partner and I know we sleep together, but we just _sleep_ …nothing sexual, ever…y’know?”

“Far more than I needed to know, but obviously some misunderstanding and I’m glad it’s all sorted out…” She winked as Adam approached with a coffee cup in one hand and a cardboard carton in the other. “Boss-man approaching with peace offerings, your seven o’clock…enjoy Teebie”

Tommy straightened up as Adam drew level “Didn’t want you missing your coffee so I got you a double Cortado and some of those cinnamon things you like…”

“Thanks, Babyboy” Tommy’s butterflies preened contentedly as Adam handed over his goodies and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before retreating to check his mic set up.

Normal service resumed, they swung into the first song…

The minibus picked Tommy up the following day, Mike waving him off with a punch to the shoulder and a list of things to pick up from Duty Free on the return trip. He laughed at Tommy’s polite gesture and slung Tommy’s bag into the luggage hold at the back. Everyone else was already on board.

Except Adam.

Tommy peered into the front seat. It was empty.

Frowning, he tugged his phone out. Nothing since Adam’s goodnight message.

He peered out of the window. They were definitely headed for the airport… _now what the fuck’s going on?_

Bradford dropped into the seat beside him. “I’m ready to have a go at _Cuckoo_ now. I think I’ve finally cracked that bridge…I…er…”

“Huh?” Tommy looked up, suddenly aware he’d missed most of Braffy’s opening gambit. “Sorry, was a bit distracted!”

“I…shit, I had to change some notes in the _Cuckoo_ bridge…”

Tommy’s face broke into a massive grin “I know, it was fucked up, but I needed to see if you’d be able to fix it…”

Bradford groaned loudly “Bastard! I’ve been working out how to tell you all fucking week!”

“Now you’re a proper guitarist, don’t knock it…” Tommy chuckled “I just wish Adam was here to share this proud moment…”

“Sauli’s coming to see him off so he’s meeting us there.” Bradford shoved Tommy’s shoulder “did you really give me something that was impossible to play to see if I’d put it right?”

“Yep!”

“You really are a bastard teacher!”

“Yep!” they looked at each other and burst out laughing “live with it, fucker!”

Discussion turned to key changes in pop tunes as the bus rolled onwards to LAX…

Tommy’s eyes flew open at the sound of voices outside, interrupting his trawl down memory lane. It was the middle of the fucking night so what the fuck were people doing around the pool at this hour? Listening carefully, realisation dawned; Willie Wilson’s sodding birthday party from downstairs. Adam had mentioned the invite a few weeks ago. Obviously they’d all been out clubbing and now fancied a swim…drunken fuckers had better not wake Adam…

Tommy’s arms tightened protectively around the sleeping man.

As Adam hadn’t stirred with all the hollering and hilarity from outside, Tommy relaxed and closed his eyes again…

South Africa was fun and the audiences had welcomed them with open arms, seas of yellow and black as far as the eye could see. It was with real regret they piled onto the plane with China their next stop.

From China it was on to Hong Kong for the MNET Asian Music Awards. Tommy’s dejected butterflies stirred fleetingly from their apathy when Adam announced he was wearing his Blonds jacket for the performance, memories of good times past filling him with a warmth he hadn’t realised he was missing.

Adam and Sauli continued to message and skype like smitten teenagers, embracing the highs and lows of a long distance relationship, fraught with unhelpful time zones and less than friendly work schedules, yet apparently still managing to keep it alive…

Tommy smiled and listened, smiled and supported…smiled… _and slowly fell apart…_

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d fallen asleep in Adam’s arms or curled up on Adam’s bed to watch a movie with just the two of them; movie nights were now a band activity – fun of course, but he yearned for some quality _Adam_ alone time, the need eating away at him like a physical pain.

Slowly the blackness crept up on him and he retreated into his own world, a world of too much booze and very little sleep. Brad and Sutan were his lifelines, messaging, calling and emailing, and seeming to know unerringly when Tommy needed them the most…

On stage, Tommy smiled and played, losing himself in his music, the only time his heartbreak was ever truly boxed away.

Returning to Shanghai for the Hennessy Artistry Event was as magical as ever, the majestic skyline and vibrant buzz of the city welcoming them home. His mood lifted, buoyed by Adam’s arm around his shoulders as they wandered around the set and it almost felt like the old days...

At rehearsal, Bradford shone, earning himself an ovation as he rocked his way through _If I had you, Naked Love, Whataya want from me, Trespassing_ and _Are you gonna go my way_ … The only two of the setlist he hadn’t yet tackled _Never Close our eyes_ and _Fever;_ somehow Tommy kept finding reasons to delay sharing _Fever_ – it was his; _his and Adam’s_ and if he let anyone else in…

The Mercedes-Benz arena was massive, with a huge walkway bridge and connecting pathways leading out from the central stage it was an impressive layout. Tonight was gonna rock and for now, at least, Tommy, felt he could fly…

Waiting backstage the anticipation had them buzzing. The atmosphere was electric and the Glamberts were out in force, with their yellow and black banners, clothing and a mass of glowing As waving madly as they took to the stage. Adam was wired and nailed every note, rocking the arena off its foundations throughout their six song set. The crowd roars blew the roof off when Aurea joined him for the Lenny Kravitz Grammy Award winning _Are you gonna go my way_ and Tommy let himself go in the solo as energy flowed through him… _it was fucking wild…_

The endorphin high from Shanghai lasted days and Tommy woke up with a grin, shopped, cooked, lunched, jammed and made love to Liz, finally falling asleep with that grin still in place… _it felt so fucking good to be alive…_

He was coping better with the reduction in his _Adam_ time as Adam focused on his relationship with Sauli, sharing the occasional lunch date with them, swapping messages every few days. It still hurt, but the pain was easier to bear as Adam radiated with love and happiness every time Tommy saw him… _he’s happy so I’m happy for him…_

Bradford’s lessons progressed and he was rapidly approaching the time when _Fever_ would be the only song left to learn. Mindful of that, Tommy upped the difficulty level on some of the earlier songs and they revisited them before moving on.

Being invited to sit in the audience with Sauli for the Cyndi Lauper and Friends; Home for the Holidays fundraiser concert in New York was a surprise and by the time the three of them had sat in first class for the five and a half hour flight, they’d recaptured the easy familiarity of the summer. Tommy leant against Sauli, laughing with him as they teased Adam and his obsession with outlandish footwear.

That mood of love and togetherness lasted the entire trip, Tommy and Sauli falling back into their talking in half sentences habit which drove Adam crazy and usually resulted in outbursts of laughter. Both had tears in their eyes that night as Adam sang his duet of _Mad World_ with Cyndi Lauper, the passion behind the lyrics hammering home the message behind the benefit concert. Clutching hands, they leant together as the man they both loved sang his heart out in _Whataya want from me_ to tumultuous applause from the sell-out crowd.

The days between New York and the Jingle Ball in San Francisco passed quickly, filled with a happy mix of activity and quiet down time. Tommy reprised his role as _Kiki_ for Sutan’s fashion show charity fundraiser, managing to persuade Brad to join him once more, and they had a fantastic time, flirting outrageously with the patrons to drive up the bids in the _Queen on your arm_ auction.

Tommy was stunned when a mystery telephone bidder paid twenty seven thousand dollars for the privilege of having Kiki on his arm for the remainder of the evening, with Brad’s auction raising another eye-watering nineteen thousand dollars. Dropping curtseys, the pair of them strutted off the stage to collapse in fits of giggles.

At the end of the auction, the winning bidders came to collect their Queens, Raja performing the introductions in time honoured tradition, blind date style. Brad’s date turned out to be a wealthy Texas oil baron whom Raja had known since he was in third grade and they strolled off into the dining area to find their dinner seats.

“Kiki, are you ready to meet your date for the evening?” Raja beamed as she stood beside the gold door stage prop.

Adjusting his corset and fluffing up his hair, Tommy grinned and prepared to bat his eyelashes.

Raja opened the door.

“Fuck me!” were not the first words he’d intended to welcome his generous benefactor with, but they seemed to work as the handsome, stylish man threw back his head and laughed delightedly before folding Tommy into a warm hug.

“You look utterly beautiful” his lips brushed Tommy’s ear, sending tingles of delight rippling through his body.

“Bastard!” Tommy grumbled half-heartedly “why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I thought you were taking Sauli to the airport.” He sank closer into Adam’s arms, breathing in that intoxicating aroma that was everything _Adam…_ “I can’t believe you paid all that money for me, I’m not w…”

“Sshh!” Adam planted a swift kiss to his lips, effectively cutting off Tommy’s protests. “I would’ve paid double…”

“But…”

“No buts! Now let’s go find some dinner, I’m famished!” Adam pulled pack, grinning ruefully “I had to skip lunch to get to the airport, see Sauli off and get back in time to win my pretty kitty…”

Arm in arm they headed for the dinner tables.

Tommy had a wonderful evening, a glorious dinner and even enjoyed the dancing as Adam tugged him in close to his body as they moved to the beat of Dames of Sound, a group of young drag queens with a wide range of cover songs from the sixties upwards.

Not wanting the night to end, Tommy and Adam stayed behind to help clear up, finally skipping up the stairs to his apartment at four the next morning, having been walked to the door by a most insistent Adam. A tender kiss goodnight had followed, with Adam watching until Tommy was out of sight.

Flopping onto his bed fully clothed, Tommy fell asleep with a grin on his face and his lips still tingling from the heat of Adam’s kiss…

Jingle Ball was the usual fun and frolics of the annual pre-holiday radio concert. The crowds and fellow performers were in high spirits and they threw themselves into the show with wild enthusiasm. Opting to skip the after-party to travel back to LAX with Adam who had to meet Sauli’s flight just thirty minutes after their own had landed, the band hugged them before diving into the post-concert festivities.

In-flight conversation centred on the upcoming VH1 Divas concert, the songs and outfit changes, with some interesting accessorising added by Sauli. Tommy was looking forward to seeing Adam’s skit with Sutan, and the full versions of the fun clips Adam had shared from his filming.

Once landed, Tommy pressed a kiss to Adam’s cheek and slung his flight bag over his shoulder, intending to call a cab home. Adam’s hand sliding into his and the whispered plea to stay and meet Sauli changed his plans, the pair heading to the lounge to grab a coffee before the delayed flight was due in around an hour.

They all slept in the car on the way home.

Clutching his Divas VIP pass, Tommy lurked at the side of the crowd watching the red carpet arrivals. Finally Adam and Sauli climbed out of their executive car and took their place in the queue to be photographed and interviewed by the myriad of press and TV companies.

Even though he was expecting it, it still sent a stab of pain to see Adam guiding Sauli so protectively through the mine field of flashbulbs and yelling of instructions from the competing photographers, all wanting _that perfect shot_ that would sell ahead of their rivals.

Hands clasped together tightly, Adam held Sauli close, determined to show his commitment to the tiny Finn by his side. Catching the looks passing between them, Tommy was hit by a sudden wave of despair and loneliness and his stomach churned. His feet developed a will of their own and followed the pair, both looking effortlessly stylish in comparison to his own scrappy efforts, as they moved along the red carpet.

Reporters shouted questions constantly as they made their way towards the end of the carpet, one question standing out in its simplicity “Adam, is this love?”

A smile… _that_ special smile lit Adam’s face and he pressed his lips tenderly to Sauli’s temple.

The night exploded in a mass of flashbulbs and the gathered fans screamed their delight at this hitherto unseen open display of feelings.

Gulping back a sob, Tommy fled.

Back in his car, he scrubbed his hands helplessly at the tears falling freely down his cheeks and fired the engine. With no idea where he was headed, he drove into the night…  


	31. Chapter 31

As his car ate up the tarmac, Tommy’s sobs subsided and his heart rate slowed from the panic stricken jackhammer to something a little less punishing. With each passing mile he regained control, his head attempting to process his extreme reaction to something he already knew…had seen numerous times… _hell, he’d seen, and heard, far worse than that…_

His inner Freud already knew the answer of course, those well chronicled defence mechanisms merely seeking to protect him from himself… Knowing it and seeing it out there in the public eye… _a world of fucking difference…_

With no desire to return to Divas, or even home where questions would doubtless be asked as to his absence from the show he’d been raving excitedly about all week, Tommy kept driving, finally finding himself in Anaheim…

Almost immediately, fond memories of their concert earlier in the year flooded his head and a sense of calm soothed the turbulent seas.

Fifteen minutes later he was checked into the Anaheim Hilton and slumped on the bed as he waited for his room service order. An aimless flick through the channels on the TV landed him on VH1…

Against his better judgement he watched…

Adam fucking rocked it; hosting, acting, singing, costumes…every fucking thing he did was golden and Tommy loved him for it, from every gorgeous hair on his fucking head down to his outlandish footwear obsession…

Suddenly, he saw everything clearly…an epiphany…

_Which for an atheist was pretty fucking impressive…_

He loved Adam. Loved him with every fibre of his being and more than anything, he wanted Adam to be happy.

Adam was happy with Sauli.

Tommy liked Sauli, enjoyed his friendship.

Therefore, these facts set out Tommy’s place in Adam’s life; best friend, confidante and loyal bandmate…

…leaving space in Tommy’s heart for someone else, someone who would love him for _who_ he was, as himself…

As Adam was the only _man_ for him, it stood to reason, he’d find himself a female companion… _just imagining the personal ad: for friendship and possible relationship…fuck that idea…_

As if on cue, his phone buzzed. He considered ignoring it, so _no_ t in the mood to communicate with anyone, but his traitorous hands dragged it out of his pocket. Was it fate? _Who the fuck knew…or fucking cared…_ He thumbed a reply, pressed send before he could change his mind and lay back against the pillows as Adam moved onto his Madonna number.

Twenty five miles away, Liz read Tommy’s reply and smiled triumphantly. Her patience had paid off. Tommy was hers once again…

The following morning Tommy headed home, his resolve weakening the closer he got…

That was until he braved a look at his twitter and Facebook. The picture of _that_ kiss was plastered every-fucking-where and he knew he couldn’t handle the drama any more. Friends. Good friends… _self-preservation, the way it had to be…_

No need to admit he’d run away… He tapped out a tweet and pressed send **@AdamLambert @VH1 @VH1DIVAS you fucking slayed it dude #Divas #Showstopper #LetsDance #HotStuff #RayofLight**

Moments later his phone erupted with a burst of notifications. His tweet was being retweeted the world over and fans were filling his feed with love and affection. There were the usual trolls, but the mood from everyone else was whole heartedly positive, leaving him with a happy grin on his face as he sorted out coffee.

Braffy’s guitar lesson saw them rocking a jam of every song they’d done so far, trading riffs in the solos to leave them on an adrenaline high and hopelessly out of breath. Dropping onto the sofa they spent several minutes grinning inanely and gasping for air.

“Fucking dope, dude. You’re one badass mother on that Fender…”

Tommy grinned “Pretty hot yourself. Love what you did in _Cuckoo…_ "

Bradford laughed, shoving Tommy’s shoulder “I fucked up, don’t pretend you didn’t notice!”

“I didn’t mean at the start, meant that bit just before the bridge…quirky key change…really suits the song…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! I think that creativity deserves a reward…” Tommy hmmm’d thoughtfully “how’d you fancy trying a couple of Metallica tracks? Which two you wanna give a go?”

“ _Master of Puppets_ is a given…” Bradford chuckled, “can’t wait to get my hands on that eight and a half minutes of pure genius at the start”

“Nice one! And..?”

“What about _Battery_ or _Fade to Black_?” Bradford’s brow furrowed in thought.

“ _Fade to Black?_ Interesting choice; it’s got that slow intensity and brutality to it… Okay, grab your pen and some paper and let’s see what we come up with…”  

The next hour flew by and it was with regret they packed away, arranging an extra session to finish the reworking the following day.

Bradford hugged him at the door, grinned and skipped away down the stairs “see ya tomorrow, boss man!”

Back indoors, Tommy dropped back onto the sofa and pulled his phone out to catch up on the world of social media… Updates viewed, he relocated to his bedroom, flopped face down onto the quilt and fell asleep.

 _Fever_ blasting from the bedside cabinet dragged him from fretful dreaming, where he was trying to pick his special someone from a line up, but no matter how hard he tried, they were all Adam… _beautiful, smiling, freckled and totally perfect Adam…_

Grabbing his phone he mumbled a hello.

“You okay baby?” Adam’s voice sent delicious shivers down Tommy’s spine.

“Yeah, ‘m fine…” Tommy yawned “…sleeping…”

“But you’re okay?”

“’m good!”

“Good!” Adam’s relief was obvious “when you didn’t show at the after party, I was worried…”

“You know I don’t do parties!” Tommy sighed softy “I only said _maybe_ …” he paused “you were amazing and those spikes Sauli put on your jacket were killer…”

“I’m glad you saw the show, Sutan couldn’t find you in the VIP section…”

_Fuck, forgot about meeting Sutan…now what…_

Taking a deep breath in he prepared to lie to the man he loved “I wanted to hear what the audience had to say so…” he forced a chuckle as the lie burned hotly in his belly “they adored you, of course!”

“Of course!” Adam laughed delightedly “You wanna come and watch a film with us tonight? We can get a take out…”

Elation and disappointment clashed, fighting it out alongside his self-loathing at the untruths he’d imparted.

“Love to, but I can’t. Going to some unveiling of open mic night with Alla, Matt and Liz…” Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t hide the tremor in his voice… _so much for the epiphany…_ “I even get to wear a suit…” Tommy made a vain attempt to inject some enthusiasm.. _._

_…and failed miserably._

“Oh, okay, another time…” Adam echoed Tommy’s disappointment. “Have fun, my pretty kitty. Call me tomorrow?”

“Yeah, will do. See you, Babyboy.” _I love you…_

Despondency settled comfortably in his stomach as he headed into the shower, not even lingering for some right hand comfort…seemed there was no exciting anything tonight.

Clad in snug black boxer briefs, black socks with silver treble clefs and his robe, he prowled the apartment restlessly waiting for Sutan.

His life partner was barely through the door before Tommy was in his arms, clinging tightly as tears trickled into the soft fabric of Sutan’s top.

No words were needed as Sutan dropped the suit he was carrying over the back of the chair and steered them both to the sofa. With Tommy curled up on his lap, his face buried into Sutan’s shoulder, he rocked them gently, petting Tommy’s freshly washed hair and waited out the tears…

Long minutes passed until Tommy lifted his head.

“Vayvee? What can I do to make it better?” Sutan brushed the tears away gently with his thumb.

“I was at the red carpet last night…I saw…I saw them…that…”

“Is that why you didn’t stay for the show?”

Tommy nodded “and I got in my car and just drove, I didn’t know where I was going but I ended up in a hotel in Anaheim. I watched the rest of the concert on the TV in the room and I decided I wasn’t going to torture myself anymore and I was going to stop loving him so hard and get a girlfriend and I tried…I did but he rang me and I lied to him.  Said I went and I _didn’_ t and I’m supposed to be going out tonight to this stupid thing and I just want to be with him…why does it hurt so much?” Huge brown, tear-filled eyes gazed hopelessly at Sutan, pleading for an answer he already knew.

“Loving someone hurts when they’re not free to love you back. Adam does love you, but he loves Sauli too and right now, they’re trying to make it work. That little kiss was Adam’s way of showing Sauli he’s committed to him and he wants the world to know it.” Sutan’s arms re-closed around Tommy’s trembling body. “He put it on IG as well if you haven’t seen it. Do you want me to call and cancel tonight?”

Snuggling closer into Sutan’s comforting hold, Tommy shook his head. “I promised I’d go and I keep my promises…” He sniffed “like I promised Adam I’d always be there for him. _Always…_ ”

Sutan pressed a kiss to Tommy’s hair “So shall Tranma make you pretty for your shindig tonight? You can post some photos so he’ll see them, see how lovely and happy you look…”

“Thank you, boo…” Tommy gave a watery smile “I keep crying on you, ‘m such a sap!”

“Always here for you, honey…Raja and I both love you very much…” He pushed Tommy gently off his lap, took his hand and led him to the bathroom to bathe his eyes.

Some Sutan/Raja magic and he was transformed; kohl-lined eyes, light shadow on his lids and a dusting of powder to emphasise the paleness of his skin and tinted gloss on his lips… His hair hung seductively over one eye, smooth and gleaming. With a crisp white shirt and the elegant navy suit Sutan had brought with him, Tommy looked fucking gorgeous…

“There, you’re done, Vayvee, and you are beautiful” Shooing him back into the living space, Sutan picked up Tommy’s keys. “Time to go, you don’t want to be late. Walk me to my car first…”

At his car, Sutan handed over a bouquet of pink roses “for your lady…have to do the job properly!”

Tugging his life partner into a warm hug, Tommy whispered his thanks against Sutan’s ear. Chuckling, Sutan squeezed tightly before pulling back. “Now, go! Make me proud…”

Tommy watched as Sutan drove away before climbing into his car and heading over to Liz’s. She looked stunning in a midnight blue dress, curves in all the right places and her long hair carefully tousled into tumbling, glossy waves down to her shoulders. She thanked him prettily for the flowers, accepting a chaste kiss, before taking Tommy’s arm as they returned to his car and joined the throng of traffic on the highway downtown. The casino was owned by a friend of Alla’s record producer and he’d invited Alla to sing the first song. It should be a fun night…

Tommy smiled and nodded as Liz chattered happily, agreeing when required and sharing non-committal noises when he zoned out and wasn’t sure of the correct response…

_I wonder what Adam’s doing…_

There wasn’t a red carpet as such, but there were official photographs, the four of them posing in a group, then both couples and finally individual shots. Tommy fixed his false smile in place and endured, as Liz revelled in the attention.

The open bar restored some sense of enjoyment to his beleaguered spirit, although, as designated driver he needed to limit intake, but for the moment, a JD and ice was going down nicely, thank you very much. As the casino filled up and the party vibe kicked in, Tommy found himself mellowing under the combined influence of the enthusiasm of the patrons for all things musical and the forty percent proof flowing through his veins to warm him from the inside out…

Speeches, thanks and dedications were followed by a hearty introduction for Alla, stood in the spotlight with her husband at the piano to accompany her simple three song set. Liz wove through the crowd to rejoin Tommy at the side of the stage, leaning back against his chest as she folded his arms around her waist.

“The last song’s for us” the tilt of her head exposed the soft silky skin of her neck as she whispered against his ear.

 _Oh fuck!_ Tommy’s early warning systems shot up to their highest level and he tensed.

Alla winked at them from the stage ”Thank you, everyone, for your warm welcome and now, my final song is dedicated to two special friends. I hope you enjoy…”

Air Supply’s _Lost in Love_ was a delicious soft rock ballad and suited Alla’s voice perfectly, the honest simplicity of the lyrics sparkling as Matt joined her on vocals for the chorus. Linking her fingers with Tommy’s, Liz sung under her breath, swaying them both gently from side to side. As the song bridge soared, she turned in Tommy’s arms and captured his lips, kissing him with a tenderness that took him by surprise and he found himself tugging her closer, deepening the kiss…   

Much later they staggered through Liz’s front door, mouths locked together and shedding clothes as they went until they fell naked onto her bed…

Tommy woke early, warm and content, cocooned in Liz’s arms, her quiet breath ghosting softly on his skin. The room was bathed in the gentle half-light of the pre-dawn sky and for the first time in many days he felt at peace. Closing his eyes he drifted back into sleep…

The week before Christmas flew by in a blur of guitar fun with Bradford, a visit to Santa with his niece, cosy dinners with Liz and a family lunch with Lisa and his mom. He found time to hang with Brad and do some more work on the Husbands _Do Over_ scripts as promised and escorted his Lady Raja to the RuPaul reunion dinner in New York, reprising his blue suit ensemble for the glittering occasion.

He was careful to post pictures where he knew Adam would see them and was secretly more delighted than he should’ve been, when Brad reported he’d answered Tommy’s phone whilst he was in the shower and been on the receiving end of a barrage of questions from Adam as to why Brad was answering. Brad, being the awesome friend he was, had played up beautifully, giving coy half answers designed to stir Adam’s green goblins into a frenzy across the miles from Finland where he and Sauli were spending the holiday period.

Adam had finally snapped after Brad’s silky voiced promise “As soon as he’s got some clothes back on, I’ll get him to call you, okay…I don’t want him catching a chill wandering around naked…”

“Just get him to call me” The line had gone dead, cutting off the muttered obscenities from Finnish airspace as Brad held his sides and chuckled loudly.

The band held their seasonal dinner at Adam’s as arranged on the 23rd, a mouth-watering array of Mexican, Thai and Chinese food enjoyed with much love and laughter. Bradford stunned them with his beautiful rendition of _Fade to Black_ which he reprised when they finally got the skype working for the link with Adam and Sauli.

As the group of friends barged and elbowed each other good humouredly in an attempt to arrange themselves in an orderly manner around the laptop, Tommy took the opportunity to study Adam carefully. He looked rested and refreshed; his skin glowed and he looked absolutely fucking gorgeous in a soft taupe sweater and black jeans. He had his arm around Sauli’s shoulders as they leant in towards the screen, but there was an air of tension between them that was only noticeable if you knew both well…

_All was not as it appeared from the smiles…_

After an hour of frivolity and laughter, they shouted merry Christmas and waved madly before cutting the connection and returning to the party in house. Settling down to watch The Grinch with tubs of Ben and Gerry’s ice cream, Tommy’s phone buzzed. Seeing Adam’s name flashing, he squeezed out from in between Ashley and Bradford on the sofa, taking himself into the kitchen as he answered.

“Babyboy? You okay?”

“Yeah…” The lack of conviction wasn’t lost on Tommy but he kept quiet as Adam didn’t elaborate. “I just wanted to say happy Christmas and to say the presents for everyone are in the bottom of the closet in the bedroom…”

_THE bedroom, not ‘our’ bedroom?_

“Yep, got all that from your email the other day and everything’s sorted for Bali; Braffy and I confirmed all the arrangements yesterday, so we’ll see you on the 29th…”

“His playing’s come on so much; that Metallica track was dope!” Adam’s voice lit up with a beaming smile which carried over the miles.

“He’s a natural talent, dude’s got pure rock and roll running through his veins…”

“And you’re a fucking awesome teacher…”

“Nah, it’s easy when you get a student who works as hard as he does…”

“Have you told him about _Auld Lang Syne_ at midnight yet?”

“Nope, not yet - that’s his bonus tune tomorrow. I can’t wait to see his face!”

“So…” Adam fell silent.

Tommy hugged his phone to his ear, not wanting to break the moment.

“ _Tommy Joe…_ ” his name whispered, low and hoarse with a raw edge of _something_ just _Adam_ had his blood supply suddenly standing to attention.

“ _Yes…_ ’m here…”

“I miss you…” the wistful, barely audible words tugged at Tommy’s heart.

“I know, I miss you too…”

“I gotta go! See you in a few days. Thanks for sorting the travel stuff. Bye Glitterbaby!” The abrupt change in tone and volume took him by surprise and he was still staring at his phone when Adam hung up, not waiting for a reply.

Puzzled, Tommy returned to the other room where the Grinch was cheerfully stealing Christmas…

With his head replaying the conversation over and over, he zoned out from the film and gazed absently at Adam’s copy of their painting… _GNT seemed so fucking long ago…_

As arranged, Tommy slept at Adam’s that night after clearing up the sitting room. He slept fitfully, missing the warmth of another person beside him. The sun was barely over the horizon when he headed home, a sudden urge to be close to Mike and Tanya, his pseudo family for so long now… _what was he now? A fucking homing pigeon?_

Christmas day was spent with his family, playing tea shops with his niece and eating far too much. Liz joined him later in the afternoon and they took Bridget for a walk to the park, feeding the ducks with mince pies and breadsticks. It was domestic and comfortable…

Declining his mom’s offer of a bed overnight, they took their leave just before midnight, Liz thanking everyone for making her feel so welcome.

“She’s lovely…you need to hang on to her, T-bone” Lisa hugged him hard, ginning. After hugging his mom, they headed to Liz’s home, falling asleep in moments in each other’s arms.

Liz had another gig with The Barbarians the following evening and they’d asked her to play on New Year’s Eve. Tommy had surprised himself by asking her, on impulse, to join him in Bali, his brain still reeling from the effects as she’d squealed with excitement and kissed him breathless before dragging him off to bed…

Throughout the twenty-five hour flight and four hour stopover in Seoul, Tommy’s thoughts returned repeatedly to Adam… _Adam’s body language_ when they’d had their skype _, Adam’s phone call, Adam’s abrupt change of tone…_

Liz watched movies, slept and chattered happily, seemingly content with Tommy’s explanation that he wasn’t a confident flyer, to explain his lack of attention to her needs and even declining her offer of joining the mile high club…

Bali was utterly beautiful and despite their collective state of knackeredness… _was that even a real word? Fuck knows but it does the job…_ it still took their breath away and they stopped to gaze their fill at the crystal clear blue sea and the mystical mountains shimmering in the distance. There was a magical air of calm and serenity, warmth pervading their travel weary bodies to possess their souls…

“Wow…” Ashley and Liz expressed what everyone else was thinking as they followed their driver to the executive limo which was apparently their designated transport.

Adam and Sauli were already checked in when they arrived at the Mulia Mansion, a stunning blend of ultimate luxury and simplicity. With six suites it was more than enough to house the band, their guests and Leila and Ray who would be arriving on New Year’s Eve. Set in the secluded grounds of the main hotel, the mansion came with three social rooms, sumptuous bedroom suites, its own butler and a private pool…

Liz and Ashley gasped their delight as the butler, who went by the name Alam, gave them the full tour…

Leaving the women to rave over everything from the bedding to the huge lily-like flower displays in every room, the men dropped into chairs in the outdoor sitting room, gratefully accepting cold beers from a tanned and smiling Adam.

Picking up a mini clipboard, he handed it to Bradford. “Bedroom detail and agenda, over to you!”

“Okay, welcome to paradise… Master suite, Adam and Sauli, the number one suite next to them we’ve allocated to Leila and Ray, but they won’t be here until Thursday. The others are numbered clockwise and are all the same apart from number four which has two separate bedrooms. So, number two Tommy and Liz, three is me, four Rick and Brian…” Peering over the top of the clipboard, Bradford raised an eyebrow “Are we sure it’s safe to have the children in together?”

“You could get some baby monitors…” Sam pointed to the glossy hotel brochure, grinning “they supply everything here”

“Brilliant idea!” Braffy chuckled “what do you think boss?”

“You want them, you get to babysit!” Adam laughed at the horrified look on his tour manager’s face.

“Scratch that idea, I don’t think I’m up to that kind of exposure!”

Laughter echoed around the deck as Bradford shuddered and Rick and Brian traded friendly gestures with Sam for suggesting it.

They were still snickering when Bradford resumed his read through “So, where was I? Suite five is Ashley and Sam. The Mulia supply our very own butler, however, anyone any objection if we dispense with that particular luxury and just have maid service instead? That way we can completely relax…”

Emphatic nods of agreement followed as the two women rejoined them. “This place is amazing…” Ashley dropped into Sam’s lap, sliding their fingers together “I can’t wait to get in that pool…”

“I’ve put you in suite five. We’re just running through the agenda and then it’s chill time.” Bradford grinned at the blissful look on Ashley’s face as she took a swig from her bottle of beer. “Today is about settling in and exploring. Tomorrow we have rehearsal in the Grand Ballroom after breakfast and then the rest of the day is free. Tomorrow evening we are all dining with Mr Hibbs and his partners, seven, for seven thirty. New Year’s Eve is free all day until five when we have soundcheck and then it’s all happening; dinner at eight, we’re on stage at eleven, pause for midnight and then finish the set. Any questions?“

“Can we fix a time to practice the _Cuckoo_ skit at some point?” Adam tapped his lips thoughtfully with the tips of his fingers “we don’t know if it’ll work yet so if we can have a few trial runs…”

“After rehearsal tomorrow?”

Reaching for Sauli’s hand, Adam squeezed his fingers softly “Is that okay, kultsi?”

Sauli nodded and carefully reclaimed his hand, wrapping it around his beer bottle and avoiding Adam’s gaze.

With an almost inaudible sigh, Adam turned back to Braffy “after rehearsal it is then. Have you and Tommy got _Auld Lang Syne_ mastered?”

Bradford’s grin stretched from ear to ear “yep, what a start to my year that’s going to be…my first real audience… _real people_!”

“You played for your sister and Jacqui and Ian…don’t they count as people?” Ashley chuckled as Braffy bounced enthusiastically on his chair.

“They’re family, doesn’t count because they’ll love me even if I screw it up!”

Adam punched him lightly on the shoulder “ _We’ll_ all love you even if you screw up, we’re family too”

“You are, which is why I’m determined to nail it…” he stood up “and I’m going to practice again right now.”

Laughing, Adam took the clipboard back from his hand. “You go and I’ll finish here…”

“Angel” Bradford skipped indoors, fond laughter following their beloved tour manager as he vanished from sight.

“Not much more to go; we’re here until the morning of the second, _very early morning_ , leave for the airport at three thirty, we can discuss any setlist changes for Vietnam on the flight home if need be. We’ll have about twelve hours at home before we’re off again so make the most of the down time in this beautiful place…” Adam grinned and dropped the clipboard onto the table “now I have a sun lounger with my name on it, waiting for me so…” he held out his hand towards his boyfriend “coming Sauli?”

“I will come when I am ready. You go. I will follow.” Standing, Sauli walked around the table to perch on the arm of Tommy’s chair. “I wish to talk to Tommy…”

Shrugging with carefully controlled good grace, Adam headed indoors, the barely-there distress visible, only if you knew to look for it. _Tommy knew, and saw the hurt Adam was taking great pains to conceal…what the fuck was going on?_

With no time to ponder, or follow up, right there and then, Tommy and Liz chatted to Sauli about Helsinki, fitness training and the things they missed most when travelling, the three finally returning inside to change into swimming costumes fifteen minutes later. There was no sign of Adam.

The rest of the day shot past, despite the fact nobody did much beyond stretching out in the sun and splashing in the pool.

Not being a sun worshipper, Tommy enjoyed the heat for a time before going back into the house to approve Bradford’s practice, his dozen straight play-throughs of the traditional New Year anthem having been flawless…

“Teebie, be a darling and take Braffy for ice cream…” Ashley lifted her head from her lounger momentarily “I’d _hate_ him to fall into the pool with your guitar…” She smiled wickedly, leaving Tommy in no doubt she was deadly serious. He hastened his steps…it seemed it _was_ possible to have too much of a good thing!

Bradford was more than happy to stroll through the picturesque hotel grounds to the Mulia Deli for a cool drink and ice cream once he was assured his playing was good enough “I don’t want to let you down…”

“You won’t and I think you’ve cracked that tune perfectly…time to come out and play!” Considerately, Tommy didn’t mention his lucky escape from a fully-clothed immersion in the pool.

Emerging from his suite in ‘Adam ordered’ off duty clothes, Tommy grinned at the change from their pristine suit-attired self-contained tour manager to the inner wild man of rock; smart charcoal combat shorts teamed with a black Metallica vest and black leather cross-trainers on his feet. The vest showed off the Metallica legend tattoo on his forearm and the snake encircling his shoulder and bicep. He’d dragged his fingers through his hair and lightly lined his eyes with grey, bringing the grey flecks within light blue irises to the fore.

“Fuck me, you look a real badass” Tommy grinned “you just passed inspection!” Dragging his phone out he took a picture “I need to capture this for posterity. Adam will be proud!”

“It feels so good to get out of that sodding suit. Where is the boss?”

Shrugging casually, Tommy glanced out of the window at a sleeping Sauli stretched out in the sun, the lounger next to him conspicuously empty. “Might be in his suite, dunno…c’mon, I feel the need for that ice cream.”

The Deli had a mouth-watering array of flavours and different serving options and a hot debate ensued over which to try.

“Black walnut sounds good, with butter crunch and blackberry cobbler…three scoop cup I think” Bradford nodded decisively.

“Coconut bark…A smooth coconut ice cream loaded with luscious dark chocolate chunks and tasty white chocolate chunks containing crushed coconut candies…” Tommy read aloud, squinting at the tiny description tag. “I like the sound of that one, and um…”

“Mom… _mom…it’s Tommy Joe…”_ a loud whisper behind them was followed by excited giggles.

“Sshh, don’t disturb them”

“But mom, can’t I say hello, I’ll be polite, I promise!”

“I don’t know…”

Tommy winked at Bradford, straightened up and turned around “Hi! What other flavours should I have with the coconut bark? Any recommendations?”

“Salted caramel’s good”

“Mom, he asked me!” An indignant twelve year old frowned at her mother.

Grinning, Tommy held out his hand “so…what goes well with both of those?”

“Rockslide brownie’s my favourite. I’m Millie!”

“Tommy Joe Ratliff!” they shook solemnly. “Thanks for the advice” Tommy nudged Bradford “we ready to order now?”

Bradford turned, nodding. “You go fir…” he stared at Millie and her mother “Katie?”

“Braffy? No! What are you doing here?”

“Ordering ice cream! You want to join us and you can tell me what you’re doing here”

“Mom?”

Tommy leant down to whisper in Millie’s ear “shall we get our ice cream and let your mom and Braffy catch up?”

“Rockslide brownie cup, please” Millie watched, eyes wide as Tommy placed the order for their chosen flavours.  

“Tommy, this is Katie…”

“Kate, please!”

“…Kate…a very dear friend from high school, we lost touch when she moved away…”

Tommy shook hands “nice to meet you, Kate. Millie and I are going to talk ice cream flavours out on the terrace…”

“Don’t let her talk you to death! She’s a right chatterbox…”

Ice cream cups in hand, Millie and Tommy headed out to sit under one of the canopies. A moment or two later, her mom and Bradford settled a few tables further down with coffee in lieu of ice cream.

They ate in contented silence for several minutes, Millie with her eyes fixed so firmly on Tommy’s every movement, she failed to notice the man behind them until he dropped into the chair beside her.

“Hey, baby! That looks good!” Adam tugged the spoon from Tommy’s hand and snagged a huge bite of coconut bark “mmmmmn, now that’s gorgeous!” He dug the spoon back in for a second and third time, feeding the third one to an amused Tommy.

Millie had abandoned both her spoon and dessert onto the table and was frozen in shock and delight, her hand clapped over her mouth as if to silence a fangirl squeal.

“Adam, meet Millie…she gives great advice on ice cream flavours!”

“That’s cool, wanna help me choose?”

Still lost for words, Millie nodded and followed Adam inside. Tommy chuckled and reclaimed his spoon.

When they returned, Adam had the obligatory scoop of Rockslide brownie, one of coconut and a purple one which looked like cherry. Millie had obviously overcome her shyness and was chattering at top speed. The three of them ate ice cream and talked hair styles, make up and the pressures of life in the spotlight. For a twelve year old, Millie was certainly well versed in life.

Bradford and Kate were rapidly filling in the gaps since high school. “Dad’s promotion took us to Canada for three years and then back to Washington. He died when I was eighteen and I lost mom in a car accident a year later. It was tough back then and I wouldn’t have made it without Peter – he was our neighbour’s grandson. We got married, had Millie and moved wherever Peter was posted…”

She paused and sipped her coffee. “Peter died in Iraq three years ago so now it’s just the two of us. This trip is our Christmas present to ourselves – Millie adores Adam Lambert and the man you were with, Tommy. She’s learning guitar back home because of him...but I put my foot down about the hair!”

“Tommy’s teaching me to play. He’s amazing and Adam is just out of this world. He’s a great boss…talk of the devil!” He pointed at Adam disappearing into the Deli with Millie. “Looks like they’ve made friends already…”

Multiple selfies and posed pictures later, Millie hugged Tommy and Adam tightly, thanked them for the ice cream and pictures and scampered off to rejoin her mom.

“What a lovely kid.” Adam stood up, stretching casually as he gazed around the terrace “Braffy looks happy…do him good to have some company” he grinned “and now we know his orientation…”

“Means he doesn’t fancy you!”

“You’re a devil child, Tommy Joe!” Adam stuck his tongue out.

“Hahaha and you love me for it”

“I do!” Draping his arm around Tommy’s shoulders, they set off back towards the mansion, Adam exalting the wonders of the Mulia’s spa and masseuse…

It was good to hear him laughing and when Tommy ventured back outside after changing into his swim shorts, Adam and Sauli were snuggled close, fingers entwined as they whispered and traded soft kisses.

Clamping down on the tiny green shoots in the pit of his stomach, Tommy joined Liz, kissing her lightly before leading her into the pool for a cooling swim. They were swiftly joined by Sam, Ashley and Rick and a massive splashing contest erupted within seconds. Ashley was drafted for some female solidarity, the air resonating to the sound of hysterical shrieks…

When they finally crawled out of the pool, breathless and in high spirits, Adam and Sauli had gone…

They met for pre-dinner drinks in the Cascade lounge before splitting to their restaurant of choice. Bradford introduced Kate and Millie to everyone, his arm firmly around Kate’s trim waist. Millie bounced excitedly as she collected autographs and more photos, the lounge hostess taking several of the whole group with multiple phones. Braffy’s smile was a mile wide as he headed off ZJ’s Lounge and Bar…

Adam and Sauli had a reservation at Table8, Tommy, Liz, Ashley and Sam had tables booked at Soleil with the others heading to the Sky Bar…

A fantastic dinner, stroll along the private beach and back to their suite for a sensual session between the sheets, Tommy fell asleep wrapped in Liz’s arms, content with the world…

Rehearsal the next morning was carefully timed, Bradford noting down each song as they went; it was essential midnight fell in between songs so they could do the countdown and _Auld Lang Syne_ before finishing their set.

 _Cuckoo_ was given several plays, experimenting with the time and allowing for the fun skit they had planned. On impulse, Adam added _Fame_ to the list…

The rest of their down time vanished in the blink of an eye, full of sunshine, spa treatments and relaxing by the pool. The formal dinner with Mr Hibbs in his personal suite was simply divine, both in terms of the astounding cuisine and the company as they mixed with oil barons and film stars from across the globe.

New Year’s Eve morning was spent relaxing by the pool and strolling in the grounds. After soundcheck it was back to the mansion to get ready for dinner and the performance. The Grand Ballroom was a sumptuous display of opulence and elegance, the eight course dinner capturing the best of everything the Mulia had to offer.

Adam had arranged for Kate and Millie to join them, the look of wonder on Millie’s face a delight to behold, with the matching expression on Bradford’s almost as moving.

A local band entertained as Adam and the band slipped away to change into their stage clothes, Adam’s electric blue, satin finish suit emphasising the dazzling blue of his eyes and his newly darkened hair set off the golden highlights at the front…

He looked fucking amazing and Tommy’s heart danced a fierce tango as he was drawn into a brief hug, Adam’s lips brushing his ear to whisper “Happy New Year, my Tommy Joe…”

… _my Tommy Joe…fuck yeah…always…_

Squeezing tightly, Tommy grinned, no words in case they came out as an excited girly squeak.

Releasing him, Adam stepped back, nodded at Bradford for a time check “Let’s go party, people!”

The slow start to _If I had you_ had the audience screaming in excitement, before they let loose with the full-on party vibe, moving on to _Naked Love…_ As always, Adam sang to Tommy, the heat flaring in his eyes to send Tommy’s blood supply on a wild southerly charge.

With Sauli watching in the wings and Liz front row table, self-preservation decreed a move away from temptation was required. Flashing a tiny smile at Adam, Tommy stepped back, the audience cheering as Adam followed him, crowding in close… _fuck Adam, ‘m trying to hide a boner here…_

Tommy’s relief was evident as they switched into _Cuckoo_ and the focus was on managing the tempo and staying out of the way as Braffy and Sauli wrapped Adam in a strait jacket, stepping across each other to wind the long straps around him. Adam’s huge eye rolls at the audience as he sang had them whooping with delight and the song finished to a crescendo of applause.

Adam chuckled breathlessly, now free of his strait jacket “What’s up, Bali, you havin’ fun? You know you don’t have to stay at your tables, there’s plenty of room down here to dance…”

It was an elegant rugby scrum as they swung into _Never Close our eyes_ and followed it with _Pop that Lock…_

_…champagne, laughter and Sauli…fond memories…_

Adam skipped off as the band played on, Tommy’s eyes fixed on Bradford waiting for the signal to switch into _Are you gonna go my way_ – overall timing and Adam’s change of clothes both key to this…

The roar from the audience accompanied Adam’s return to the stage, now in the same black vest teamed with a black leather sleeveless jacket, black stretch jeans that hugged his thighs and backside…Tommy drifted for a brief moment as memories of his first morning in Adam’s apartment flooded his head; Adam clad in a tiny towel, damp from the shower, bending down to retrieve his clothes…

His circulation rerouted… _fuck…_

Hauling his thoughts back from times past, Tommy continued his appraisal of Adam’s attire in a frantic attempt to reassert control over his wayward body…black glittery belt and elbow length black leather cuffs completed the ensemble for the Lenny Kravitz classic.

By the time Adam called him, Tommy was rocking it back in the zone, slaying his solo as Adam ran along the front of the stage shaking hands before returning up close and personal, the cue to wind it in as they segued neatly into _Whataya want from me…_

With a couple of minutes to go before midnight, Adam appropriated a party hat and a blower, sending everyone back to their seats as he chatted to a few of the audience “I’m killing time y’know, but it’s always good to get to know you all…”

A minute showed up on the giant screen behind the stage, everyone preparing to count down the last twenty seconds with him…”Are we ready for 2013?” Adam held up his champagne glass as the countdown continued “… _five, four, three, two, one…_ Happy New Year!”

Cheers and whistles erupted along with party poppers firing paper streamers and a mass blowing of raucous blowers. Glancing at his band, with his newest additional guitarist in place and raring to go, they launched into _Auld Lang Syne_ , Adam laughing at himself for not knowing all the words.

Nobody cared, everyone singing what words they knew and humming to fill the gaps as the room was filled with a buoyant mood of joyous celebration and renewed optimism…a new year and new challenges awaited them all…

Adam moved to the front of the stage to blow a kiss to Sauli, swinging around to wink at Tommy as he grabbed his mic “Time to party, and I’ve got a question for you _Is this love?”_

Tommy froze as his head was filled with the slow replay of the Red Carpet at DIVAS, his racing heartbeat in full flight panic mode. Somehow his fingers continued to play - with all other systems temporarily off-line, he was running on pure auto-pilot.

_2013 was less than ten minutes old and he was already having panic attacks…what a wonderful fucking year it was promising to be…_

By the time they’d reached the bridge, Tommy had regained control and immersed himself in the music, sliding into the ‘band-only’ _Kickin’ In_ as Adam shot off stage for his penultimate costume change.

Adam reappeared in his hot as fuck, lace-up crotch leather trousers, black vest and waistcoat, long leather fringed pull on sleeves and top hat. He looked fucking amazing and Tommy’s entire circulation fled south as he clocked Adam’s bare feet… _what the fuck you do to me Lambert…_

With his focus centred on playing the right notes for the newly added David Bowie iconic _Fame,_ and keeping his guitar carefully in front of his straining-at-the-seams – and seriously uncomfortable -  skinny jeans, Tommy missed the wicked twinkle in Adam’s eye as he sashayed towards him…

_Bastard knew what his bare feet did to Tommy…I never should’ve told him…fucker…_

Looking up to find Adam suddenly up close and hip gyrating as they slipped seamlessly into _Strut,_ Tommy was powerless to prevent the audible moan as Adam licked his lips and leant forward between lyrics to flick his tongue against Tommy’s ear.

Grinning, Adam strutted the length of the stage, working his hips to wild appreciation from the audience as they switched into _Fever_ …

_My song…our song…_

It hurt way more than it should when Adam moved to the front of the stage to point at his boyfriend… _would you be mine…_

_Fuck…_

It was sheer relief to move on to _Hot Stuff_ and he let himself go, tossing his head and hopping to the beat. _Shady_ was the last of their set and Adam was on fire, bouncing as he introduced each member of the band. When it was Tommy’s turn, he stood close, his hand warm and familiar on Tommy’s shoulder as he exalted the skills of his dear friend and lead guitar. Lightly slapping Tommy’s arse, Adam sent him to the front of the stage for his solo.

With a final replay of the chorus, Adam closed their set in time honoured tradition with his top note and hand punch to the sky. The lights went down and the audience went wild as they trooped off the stage.

Swiftly shrugging into his Blonds _Trespassing_ jacket and pulling on his wedge heeled boots, Adam gathered everyone in for a group hug “Thank you, thank you all for an amazing 2012 and I know we’re going to have an even better 2013…now let’s go rock this place and send them home knowing they’ve just seen the best show they’ll see all fucking year!”

Laughter and love resonated as they returned to the stage for the encore. _Trespassing_ rocked the Grand Ballroom on its foundations…

They slept late into New Year’s day, having staggered back to the mansion around three thirty a little worse for wear. Braffy and Kate had said their goodnight, heading back just after the end of the performance so an excited but tired Millie could get some sleep.

After a fun and laughter-filled group brunch at the Sky bar, everyone split to do their own thing. Tommy took Liz down to the Boutique to buy her a necklace he’d seen. It was aquamarine and would match the earrings he still hadn’t given her yet. Squealing happily, Liz hauled him in for a steamy kiss before leading him back to their suite where she loved him thoroughly and they fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

Early evening saw everyone packing and a somewhat sombre Bradford preparing to say goodbye…even if it was only temporary…to Kate and Millie.

Dinner was at The Café and courtesy of Mr Hibbs who’d also sent gifts for everyone, Coins of the Kingdom locally crafted silver bracelets for the women, including a thrilled Millie. These coins were considered symbols of good fortune and also featured on the Angel of Nature leather and silver bracelets for the men. After sharing pre-dinner drinks with them, Mr Hibbs thanked each of them personally and took his leave, wishing them a safe journey home and an open invitation to revisit.  

Morning came too soon, checking out and climbing into the limousine to take them to the airport for the long haul back to LA.

As the flight took off, everyone was asleep…

Jet lag stole most of their brief spell back home, Tommy barely managing to sort his clothes out for their Hennessey sponsored gig before crashing out on his bed once more. It seemed mere moments before they were back on a plane for another gruelling eighteen hour flight… _oh the high flying life of a rockstar…okay, rockstar’s guitarist…_

_No pun intended…_

Tommy slept most of the night, waking at five in the morning according to his watch but with no fucking idea of the time in whatever time zone they were currently in. His fellow travellers were all asleep. Moving carefully, he pushed the blanket aside and crawled out from his pod.  

After several minutes of stretching he felt a little more human, making his way to the front of first class to help himself to the coffee pot. Half a mug of scalding coffee had an enlivening effect and he strolled around the cabin, finally returning to stand beside his allocated seat to gaze at Adam and Sauli in the seats in front of him. Their hands were linked and tiny smiles curved their lips. They looked happy and relaxed in sleep, faces tanned and beautiful from exposure to the Indonesian sun.

Tommy winced as longing swept over him like a physical ache. Forcing himself to move away, he walked the entire length of the plane twice before returning to his pod, coffee finished, and plugged himself into the film channel. Quashing the urge to climb over the seat back and into Adam’s arms, he immersed himself in the latest James Bond British spy thriller _Skyfall…_

Once landed, Hennessey representatives ushered them though passport control and away to the hotel. Adam barely had time to land his bags before he was whisked away for a press conference, leaving the rest of them to run through the setlist on paper.

With an eight song allocation for Adam’s time slot they voted to stick with the Bali list order minus _Pop that Lock, Is this Love, Strut, Fame_ and _Hot Stuff._ As a duet with Aurea, _Are you gonna go my way_ moved to the end. All songs were the swear word-free versions to comply with the strict broadcasting rules.

With little more they could do until Adam was free from his press duties, they returned to their rooms.

Tommy prowled aimlessly, unable to settle to anything. Brian was checking out the arena and the sound set up leaving Tommy feeling like a spare part. Jetlag on top of jetlag was a bitch…

He ordered a double pot of coffee and continued prowling. The quiet tap on his door dragged his brooding arse back from the cliff edge and he opened it absently, feeling in his pocket for his wallet to tip the waiter.

It was mildly startling to find a weary-eyed Sauli on his doorstep. The Finn gave him a tiny smile. “Can we share coffee and tired company to wait for Adam?”

Tommy grinned and stepped back “perfect, I just ordered coffee.”

Sauli wandered over to the window and looked out before dropping into a chair and holding his head in his hands, groaning softly.

Patting his friend on his shoulder, Tommy sighed “yeah, jetlag sucks!”

They revived over coffee, conversation revolving mainly around the recent trip to Bali and some of the locations Sauli was looking forward to visiting on the upcoming tour. By the time they’d reached the climax of the tour in Helsinki, Sauli was animated and glowing, his tanned face, dazzling smile and crystal blue eyes lighting up the room. Tommy was reminded once more, just why Adam loved this man so much…he was utterly beautiful from the inside out.

Surprisingly, it made him smile. These two men were a huge part of his life, now and for always. He wanted them to be happy and it would be fun to have Sauli on tour with them…

Sauli’s phone buzzed as they were finishing their second round of coffees. “Ad-am, how did it go?” The grimace on Sauli’s face said it all as he listened. “I am with Tommy…” he paused, nodding “yes…yes, we will see you back in our room.”

“He is on the way back and would like to see everyone in our room. I must order coffee and lunch for us all.”

“Is he okay?”

“He is very tired sounded. I will make him sleep when we are done meeting and lunch.” Sauli hauled Tommy to his feet. “We need to get busy!”

Sauli departed to sort out lunch whilst Tommy roused the troops.

Everyone gathered in Adam’s room moments before he arrived at the same time as room service. Some currency was exchanged for the trolley and a duel purpose lunch got underway. Sauli had thoughtfully ordered some cold drinks as well as coffee, correctly assuming he and Tommy were already well over their caffeine intake for the immediate future!

With a large mug of coffee and a loaded plate of chicken noodles, Adam looked around at his friends. “We’re the leading act for our novelty value – the only Western act to be playing tonight, so we headline just before the closing speeches and thanks. We’ll be following Aurea and she’s going to join me in a duet of _Are you gonna go my way_ after we’ve finished _Trespassing._

As expected with a corporate event, the cameras will be focused on the audience and VIPs.” Adam frowned “They have instructed me not to thank or introduce my band” his fist clenched in frustration “we argued…”

“Vigorously and with extreme passion” Bradford leant forward “they seemed surprised at Adam’s persistence but they were adamant so we’re going to do our thing _our_ way…” He grinned at Adam “over to you, boss…”

“Tommy will carry the flame for us all with a _blistering_ solo in _Are you gonna_ …I want you to go down that catwalk and really give it everything, on your knees, whatever you want to do. During the intro to the song I’ll call for more keys, more drums, more bass – you’ll know that’s my thank you to each of you…” Adam smiled grimly, “ _no-one_ stops me thanking my fucking awesome band…”

His next words were mere gurgles as they threw themselves at him, hugging him and each other as Sauli and Bradford looked on, grinning.

A brief soundcheck was all they were given time for; nowhere near enough to iron out all the issues with the venue’s sound system. Yet again, Tommy was blown away by Adam’s professionalism in the face of frustrating barriers to his high standards.

They would, he said, give them a show to remember because the Glamily always rose to the challenge…

   _Another reminder of the million reasons he loved this man…_

The lights and technology were faultless, so at least something was going right. The Glamberts were out in high numbers, waving their glowsticks and cheering excitedly. The VIP and dignitary guests were afforded the front row seats and smiled politely when the cameras zoomed in on them. It was another disappointment in a long line…

They went for it from the start, pulling extra energy from deep within despite the bone weary drag of jetlag. The fans appreciated the effort and yelled themselves hoarse whenever Adam addressed them, respectfully quiet at all other times.

Adam worked hard to involve the crowd, even trying a few words in their language and he was winning, even the important people were beginning to relax and join in.

Very few people could resist the Lambert magic forever!

Throughout the performance they kept the interactions with Adam to a minimum, the occasional lean and sing-to a respectful nod to the expectations of their paymasters…

However, all gloves came off as Tommy began the signature opening riff of their final tune. Adam threw himself into it, as did Aurea, and together, they worked the audience up into an excited mass of swaying and singing.

“Go, Tommy Joe…”

With Adam’s voice echoing in his head, Tommy let it fly, shredding his solo as he sank to his knees at the end of the catwalk to let the music possess his soul.

The crowd went wild…

As soon as they were off the stage, Tommy found himself folded into Adam’s arms for the sweetest, sticky and sweaty hug he’d ever had. Clinging to Adam’s vest, he savoured every triumphant second…


	32. Chapter 32

Despite bone-numbing tiredness, one and all slept fitfully, emerging heavy-eyed and listless as they gathered at the breakfast table as arranged.

Even Bradford showed signs of succumbing to the multiple layers of jetlag as he hugged his coffee mug momentarily, before calling for some hush as he reached for his trusty clipboard.

“The good news first: our sponsors, Hennessey, were more than impressed with last night’s performance and have sent a glowing report off to the label…” he flicked the page over “I won’t read it out but suffice to say, they loved it all, and Tommy’s solo picked up a special mention in dispatches…go Tommy Joe!”

Mugs and hands drummed on the table, a happy grin driving the tiredness briefly from Tommy’s face.

“Moving on…” Bradford glanced across to Adam and Sauli, the pair sat quietly, their heads resting together as they listened. “As a result, they’ve scheduled a meeting with Adam today, to meet some corporate super-bigwigs at a cocktail reception at City Hall tonight…” He grimaced apologetically “The bad news, Adam…I’ve extended our hotel rooms by one night and rearranged flights, but everyone else still gets to escape this afternoon. Car will be here at four for a seven fifteen flight.”

Adam sighed theatrically and closed his eyes. “What time’s the meeting?”

“Ten o’clock, here in their executive suite and then seven this evening. I’ve got a load of info for you on who these people are…”

“Thanks” Adam raised an eyebrow “What time did they call?”

“Just before six…”

“Oh, fuck! Sorry!”

 Braffy gave a wry grin “It’s what you pay me for…”

“I know, but still…too fucking early!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be sleeping the day away once this morning’s meeting is done!”

Ashley nudged Tommy “are you listening to me, Teebie?”

“Huh?” Tommy jumped “yeah, ‘course I am…” he dragged his eyes away from the wordless conversation Adam and Sauli were having, which, judging by the body language, was rapidly becoming heated…

It ended abruptly when Sauli pulled his hand away and shoved his chair back from the table, stalking from the room with an uncharacteristic stony expression on his usually sunny face.

“Hey!” Ashley cuffed Tommy lightly on the back of his head. “When you’ve quite finished…”

Tommy met her eyes, fond amusement reflected back at him as she leant closer to press a gentle kiss to his temple…

… _just like Adam did to Sauli at DIVAS…_

“Sorry, I was just…”

“I saw!” She chuckled “I only wanted to know if you fancied hitting the shops for a couple of hours. We could explore the markets as well if we have time…”

Tommy bit his lip, his gaze drawn back to Adam sat alone at the end of the table, staring down at his hands. He looked desperately sad.

Obviously feeling the intensity of his stare, Adam glanced up and their eyes met for a split second, before Adam stood and left the room, his stride rapid as if he had someplace urgent to be.

Tommy’s shoulders slumped and he nodded agreement vaguely as Ashley’s voice filtered through the haze of his distracted consciousness.

He was surprised when she wrapped her arms around him to squeeze tightly “you, Teebie, are the sweetest kitty” Releasing him, she stroked a finger down his cheek “I hope it works out for you, you deserve to be happy”

Feeling he’d missed something important, Tommy belatedly gave Ashley his full attention, the pieces falling into place as she went on to talk about her own aquamarine necklace Sam had given her… _Liz…he’d forgotten about her between the performance and the stinking jetlag…shit, she’d be pissed with him…_

“Actually, Ash, d’you mind if I skip the shopping? ‘m gonna call Liz and grab some extra shut eye…’m beat…”

“Aww, of course, I’ll take Rick instead” she chuckled “as long as I feed and water him at regular intervals, he’ll love it!”

Draining the last of his lukewarm coffee, Tommy brushed Ash’s cheek with his lips “you’re a real _bass_ -ass, gurl! He tugged lightly on her hair “Luv ya, doll…have fun”

He headed to the stairwell and his room on the first floor.

Approaching the corner where the hallway split into three, he stopped abruptly as Adam’s voice, hurt and anger resonating in every word, echoed down the corridor “so when were you going to tell me? Or were you just going to go when I was in my meeting? For fuck’s sake…”

“I got the message last night. It was your concert and that must come first…” Sauli sounded equal parts upset and frustrated.

“Oh, _very_ considerate of you. So now you’re just going back to Finland on the _off chance_ the call comes for a screen test?  It’s not even a confirmed meeting, just something the almighty _Luukas_ says _might_ happen…”

“I am going today…” Sauli’s voice dropped “Adam, I love you but I need to be _me_ as well as your boyfriend. I like my work and the television is a good chance for me to be seen.”

“What about spending time with me? All that stuff you said in Bali? So what was that? Just a load of fucking crap to keep me quiet until the next time you dump me for your manager? _That’s **not** love…_ that’s self-serving, pre-meditated, utter fucking bullshit…” Adam ran out of words, bitterness and raw anguish evident in every breath.

“I do not want to fight with you again. Now I need to change my flight. I will see you before I go…” Sauli paused “I am sorry you’re upset but I have to do this…for me…”

As Sauli’s footsteps approached where Tommy was stood, he turned and darted down the other hallway, almost crashing into a middle-aged couple who looked at him in distaste. Tommy muttered an apology and hurried out of sight. He leant against the wall, his head frantically processing what he’d heard. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but once he’d started he just couldn’t back away… _Adam…_

Adam was upset. Adam might need…someone to talk to…

Detaching himself from the floral wallpaper, Tommy retraced his steps, peering cautiously around the corner before deciding his next course of action. Adam was stood at his room door, head inclined forward as he rested his forehead against the wood. As Tommy watched, Adam sighed heavily and opened the door with his key card. The door closed behind him.

Now unsure of his intentions, and not wanting to admit to Adam he’d listened in on their… _disagreement,_ Tommy walked further along the hallway, slowing his pace to a ridiculous crawl as he passed Adam and Sauli’s room just in case Adam should come out, on to his own and let himself in.

He threw himself onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling, his brain charging at five hundred miles an hour… _I do not want to fight with you again…_ The implications of those words echoed through his head on repeat until, finally, he fell asleep.

He was roused from restless dreams by a light tapping on his door. Padding across he opened it, yawning widely as he dragged a hand through his hair.

“Tommy, minun ysravani, I am saying goodbye now…” Sauli smiled fondly at him as he smothered another yawn “I am sorry to wake you but I did not want to go without seeing you…”

Adam and Sauli’s angry exchange replayed through Tommy’s head and colour rose on his face as he met the Finn’s bemused gaze, guilt flooding his being for eavesdropping on his friends. “You’re going?” was all he managed to splutter before Sauli could question his unusual reaction.

“I have to return to Finland for the network screen tests…”

“Wow, that’s wonderf…” Tommy’s enthusiasm was sincere and he reached out to pull Sauli in for a warm hug.

“It is not for sure yet, but Luukas is very hopeful for two shows they are needing people for. I have to be there in case they are calling me…” Sauli hugged back tightly, his explanation interrupting Tommy’s congratulations.

He pulled back to look anxiously into Tommy’s eyes “Please look after Adam for me. He is unhappy that I am leaving him early, but it is what I must do…”

“I promise…” _...always…_

Sauli squeezed Tommy’s hand “Thank you. Now I must go to catch my flight.” He turned in the doorway “I will see you soon, my friend.”

“Isn’t Adam taking you to the airport?”

“He is still in his meeting…” Sauli’s anguish was palpable, Adam’s overheard words rushing back through Tommy’s head… _or were you just going to go when I was in my meeting?_

_Fuck, no wonder Sauli was upset…_

“Let me take you…” Tommy blurted out the offer instinctively, sanity and any practicalities around his own flight preparations be damned.

“Really?” Sauli’s face lit up and the undeniable relief accompanied the sudden gleam of tears.

“Yep. Gimme a minute and I’m all yours…” Tommy shot into the bathroom to splash some cool water on his face and tame his wayward hair. Two minutes later, he was grabbing his phone and following Sauli down the hallway.

In the car, Sauli was subdued, talking quietly about his regret at upsetting Adam, but how he had to go to show he was serious about developing his television career. “It is putting me in a rock hard place, no?”

Tommy’s outburst of giggles needed careful explaining and both were still chuckling over the suggestive nature of Sauli’s mash up of the well known saying. when they arrived at Ho Chi Minh City airport. Dropping them off at departures, the driver arranged to meet Tommy in the short stay car park in thirty minutes.

Check in was simple and speedy, one small bag his only luggage. “Safe flight and good luck for your screen test…” Hugging the Finn fiercely, Tommy watched as Sauli handed over his passport and boarding card for inspection before disappearing through security to melt into the crowds beyond.

With Sauli’s key card clutched in his hand, Tommy let himself into Adam’s room as agreed, preparing to wait it out until Adam returned. Stretching out on Adam’s bed, Tommy ran through the things he wanted to say…

At some point his eyes closed and he fell asleep…

“Tommy…hey, baby, wake up…”

“Huh?” Tommy’s eyelids resisted the assault from the bright overhead light. “Adam?” He struggled to sit up.

“What’s wrong?” Adam cupped Tommy’s face “Are you hurt?”

“Huh? No, no I’m fine…” _Aside from the whole loving you and you loving someone else…_ Blinking rapidly, he looked into Adam’s eyes, concern clouding those beautiful blue depths. “I promised Sauli I’d be here when you got back…”

Realisation setting in rapidly, Adam’s face crumpled and he dropped down onto the bed next to Tommy. “He went to Finland?” the whisper was barely audible.

“He had to…if he wants to build a reputation out there, he needs to be seen…” Tommy grabbed Adam’s hands and laced their fingers together “just like you did…”

“I know…” Adam’s grip tightened, crushing Tommy’s fingers “I know…but it doesn’t make it any easier every time he leaves…”

“He was upset because he hurt you by leaving…” Tommy took a deep breath “he loves you…ouch!” He yelped suddenly as the vice-like pressure cut off the circulation in his captive digits.

“I know…” Adam’s voice hitched and he stared at their joined hands, raising them to his lips to press a gentle kiss against Tommy’s pale skin before releasing his hold “sorry…I… _I’m…fuck_ …” Standing abruptly, Adam moved across to the window to gaze sightlessly out over the gardens.

Massaging the feeling back into his hands, Tommy stood up “You want me to leave you alone, Babyboy?”

Deafening silence fell as Adam continued to stare out of the window.

His heart sinking, Tommy moved slowly towards the door. He reached for the handle.

“Stay… _please_ …stay with me…”

Turning rapidly, Tommy strode over to Adam and opened his arms, folding them around the man he loved as Adam sank into the embrace, clinging tightly.

This time the silence was comforting… _funny you’re the broken one, but I’m the only one who needed saving…_  

_…yours always…_

Finally, Adam pulled back, relaxing his fierce hold on Tommy’s Nine Inch Nails t-shirt. “Thank you…” the words, soft against his ear, sent delicious shivers running down Tommy’s spine and he bit back a moan.

A firm tap on the door announcing room service made them jump. Adam smiled faintly and headed for the door, handing over a signature and a tip in exchange for a mixed tray of mini Saigon baguettes, pho, nem, bun cha and bun bo.

“Lunch!” He chuckled as Tommy’s tummy rumbled on cue “Join me for a floor picnic?”

The spare blanket was tugged out of the closet and spread on the floor before they sat down and delved into the tempting array of mini dishes.

As they ate, the haunted look Adam had worn earlier faded, to leave him with tired circles under his eyes, but otherwise much more like his usual gorgeous self…

Patting the bed, Tommy pushed Adam down onto it and covered him with the blanket. Adam’s protests were silenced once Tommy had spoken to Bradford to update him on the various amended travel plans. After a brief conversation, Tommy now had Sauli’s seat on the flight the following day and his own hotel room extended for one night… Assured by Tommy’s promise he would still be there when he woke up, Adam gave in to exhaustion, closed his eyes and was asleep in seconds.

Flopping down in the easy chair, Tommy flicked through the movie channel, selecting Sly Stalone’s terrible disaster movie _Daylight_ from the limited choice _…_ With no need to concentrate on the lack of plot, he turned his brain off and waited for Adam to wake…

The evening cocktail reception was one hundred percent not Tommy’s thing at all and he hugged the background like a dateless teen at senior prom, sipping from his champagne wishing it was a JD on the rocks… _the things I do for love…_ He gazed wistfully across to Adam who looked drop-fucking-dead gorgeous in his dinner suit as he shook hands with each executive in turn.

Catching Tommy’s lovesick stare at Adam, Bradford winked and grinned. Heat flared in Tommy’s cheeks and he dragged his eyes away to study his creepers. 

Fortunately, these high powered executives were booked to move on elsewhere and after much bowing and more hand shaking, took their leave just before nine.

_Thank fuck for that..._

By nine thirty, the three of them were back in jeans and tees, knocking back the spirits at the steak bar down the street, relaxed and carefree…

Booking out the next morning was done by three very quiet men in dark glasses, all clutching bottles of water and moving slowly to avoid jarring their thudding heads. By the time the plane had reached cruising altitude, they were asleep.

It was a full twenty four hours before Tommy felt recovered enough from all the jetlag and the after effects of that mammoth hangover, to venture out into the world once more.

Catching up on emails and messages, he sent a congratulations reply to Sauli who’d been called back for a second screen test and was now looking a certain addition to the _Dancing on Ice, Finland_ line up. With his graceful moves and flexible toned body, Tommy was sure Sauli would be a force to be reckoned with…

After sending messages to Brad, Sutan, Alla and Liz, confirming he was back on the planet and intending to rejoin the human race, Tommy hit #1 on speedial and sat back with a happy anticipatory smile on his face.

The smile faded as Adam’s phone rang into answerphone. Leaving a brief _hi, call me_ Tommy hung up, a frown furrowing his brow as he considered his next option.

Repeating the process, he called Bradford…with the same result. Logic now dictated they were somewhere together, which meant something official. Chewing his lip, Tommy contemplated the different options, finally deciding that whatever it was, they’d tell him if he needed to know…

In the meantime, there was Twitter and FB to catch up on…

However, a mere five _likes_ into his social media fest, his phone rang. Leaping at it, his face registered surprise at Neil’s number and horror after horror scrolled at speed through his head as he pressed answer.

“Is he hurt?”

“What? Tommy?”

“Is Adam okay?”

“Why, has something happened? What’s the fucker done now?” Neil sounded half pissed off, half resigned.

“Oh!” Tommy backtracked, “I think we need to start again!”

“Agreed! I’m ringing about Adam’s birthday, shall I go first?”

“Shoot! What’s the plan?”

“We’re thinking of the Saturday before his birthday at Bootsy’s. Markus is up for it and David’s planning something special…”    

“What kind of special?”

“No fucking clue, but they both fell about laughing when I asked, so I’m guessing it’s some half-arsed shit that Adam’ll adore so that’s good enough for me…” Neil paused “are you okay to do the usual invites and stuff?”

“I’m on it. Is there a theme or is it as you like?”

“No theme as yet, but probably worth checking with Markus… Thanks, Tommy, oh and mom says hi!”

Tommy grinned as he heard Leila’s shouted greeting in the background “Tell her, hi back and I’ll see her soon…”

“Thanks man, shout if you want us to do anything…” Neil rang off leaving Tommy buzzing with energy and enthusiasm.

First things first… Coffee was required, plus an assistant… As the coffee filtered he dialled Sutan. “Hey boo, just had a call from Neil. You wanna help me with the arrangements for Adam’s birthday party?”

Sutan’s wicked chuckle echoed over the airwaves. “Hold that thought, Vayvee, Raja is on her way!”

Whilst he waited for his life partner, Tommy made a call to Markus to check on a few details. After some debate they decided on a theme of _Old Black_ which asked party goers to wear something black from their existing closet and donate the money they would’ve spent on a new outfit to Adam’s chosen charity for this year, the _We Are Family Foundation…_

This worthy cause, founded by Nile Rodgers in 2001 as a response to the 9/11 atrocities, promoted cultural diversity around the globe, celebrating differences and bringing people together in peace. With Adam due to collect the Unity Award at the end of the month for his spreading peaceful messages through music to bring people and communities together, this was the perfect choice for his _giving back birthday_ this year…

They were aiming to raise $31,000 by Adam’s actual birthday, with fans donating to the cause and signing the world’s biggest birthday card. It was so _Adam_ to give his special day to help others… _and another of the million reasons I love him…_

After electing to save David’s surprise as a surprise to everyone, including him, and confirming they didn’t need Tommy to do anything for that particular aspect of Adam’s birthday, Tommy blew a kiss down the phone and said goodbye.

Moments later, Sutan arrived and coffee poured, they threw themselves into the preparations. Calls, emails and messages to their entire network were met with multiple _fuck yeah_ responses and their list of attendees grew.

Tommy grinned happily at the vast outpouring of love for the man he…and so many others, obviously adored…

His phone buzzed yet again. Sauli would be home by the end of the week so they’d have plenty of time to catch up. He’d secured the cooking show guest host as well as the _Dancing on Ice_ so they had lots to celebrate. Sutan rested his chin in the crook of Tommy’s neck, watching, as he sent his congratulatory reply to the Finn.

Anticipating the question, Tommy turned his head to press a soft kiss to Sutan’s cheek. “’m fine, really…and I’m happy they’ve sorted out their issues with the distance thing…” He smiled “he’s happy so I’m happy, right? And if friendship is all I ever get, then I’ll take it…”

Leaning into the bear hug as Sutan wrapped his arms around him, Tommy chuckled. “Brad would label this conversation as pathological sap!”

“Bitch!” They burst into helpless giggles, falling back onto the sofa. They cuddled contentedly for long minutes until Tommy’s phone once more broke the moment.

Dragging it out of his pocket, he grinned as he answered “Babyboy! What you been up to?”

Tommy sat up and paid attention as Adam explained the meeting he and Bradford had attended at the request of his label. “So, is this a good thing?”

“I think so. The contract with 19 expired on 31 December, which was the Idol arm of the label, so having the main RCA _should_ mean more freedom to create my own music… There’s an announcement going out sometime next week.”

“Stoked for you, Babyboy…you deserve every bit of success. You’ve worked so hard and about fucking time those suits took notice…”

“It’s all down to you…”

“Bullshit!” Tommy scoffed “I haven’t done…”

“Your _Trespassing_ single promotion was the key…they said the response to that campaign was the deciding factor. Now we’ve got to schedule some more meetings to start looking at my next album…” Adam’s voice trembled “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m thankful every day that I have you in my life… _love you, my Tommy Joe…”_

Tommy’s butterflies resurrected their full aerial display mode, to swoop happily in his tummy and a blissful smile spread over his face “Love you too, rockstar”

Adam cleared his throat and snuffled adorably as Tommy cuddled back into Sutan’s arms, joy radiating off him with the intensity of a small sun. “So, what are you up to right now?”

“My life partner and I are arranging your birthday party as we speak…”

“Care to share? That way I won’t have to tickle it out of you!”

“Nope! And you can try all the tricks you like, I’ll never tell”… _well there are a few I’d spill for…_

His jeans tightened uncomfortably as delicious images filled his head, snickering at the unintentional and downright filthy pun.

Adam groaned, obviously gifted with mind reading abilities “What you do to me, Glitterbaby…”

“Oh, _you know it_!” Tommy pouted as Sutan reached out to confiscate his phone and tapped him on the nose. “Oi!”

“Enough of the innuendo boys, you’re corrupting an innocent here!” He ginned as Adam broke into peals of laughter, adding a farewell before he cut the call and handed Tommy’s phone back.

The days flew by; full of planning, shopping, jamming with Bradford, lunches and dinners with assorted friends and family… It was a busy life…a happy life and the frequent calls and messages from Adam were just enough to keep him on the smiling side of love’s young dream…

Mike’s shout as he headed off to work had Tommy bouncing excitedly to the ground floor to sign for his parcel and he loped rapidly back up the stairs to attack the packaging.

It was beautiful and so totally _Adam…_

The long silver chain ended with a heavy, bullet-shaped solid silver pendant at the centre of a cage-like effect twist of silver in the shape of the infinity symbol. Ancient Chinese script engraved Adam’s name on the inner pendant. It linked perfectly with their bracelets, complimented the necklace Adam had given him and looked fucking awesome.

Laying it carefully back in its box, Tommy dragged his laptop across and sent a massive thank you email to the designer.

His only decision now was whether to give it to Adam at the party tomorrow or on his actual birthday…

_…that’s if I get to see him on his birthday…_

_…Sauli’s home and the day will be theirs together…_

_…fuckfuckfuck…_

Realisation hammered it home yet again…

_…he belongs to Sauli…_

Tommy’s euphoria crumpled under the onslaught of doubt and black despair.

_Fuck…_

He reached for the bottle of JD as the need to blot out the realities of his fucked up love life took over. So what if it was only ten am… _somewhere in the world it’s fucking five o’clock…_     

He didn’t even get to take a slug before his phone rang.

_He couldn’t even get rat arsed without fucking interference…_

He jabbed at answer without looking at the caller ID “ ** _What?_** ” as a greeting it lacked finesse but at least whoever the fuck it was knew what kind of mood he was in…

… _and could fuck off…_

“Tommy?”

Performing a kaleidoscopic transformation of his mindset, Tommy dragged a smile to his face in the hope it translated to his phone voice “Hi Leila, how’s you?”

“I’m good, thanks. Are you okay? I can call back later. You sounded a bit…”

“Just hassle from a pap who keeps calling…sorry, I didn’t man to snap! Don’t want to upset my lovely other mom!”

Leila’s delighted laugh lifted his spirits back to their former heights and a genuine grin spread over his elfin features.

“As long as you’re all right! I’m having a family breakfast on Tuesday for Adam’s birthday so I wanted to know if you’re free. There’ll be us, Eber, Neil and Elisse, Danielle and Jay, Scarlett, Lee and Riff. I haven’t told Adam you’ll all be there so it’ll be a surprise…”

“Count me in! Thanks mom!”

“Brilliant! If it’s warm enough we’ll be out in the back yard. Be here for eight?”

“You want me to bring anything?”

“Just yourself, and a hug…been too long since we had time to chat…” the warmth in Leila’s voice caressed Tommy’s ears and he wallowed in the blissful sense of family and belonging. “We’ll see you at the party tomorrow anyway, but I wanted to make sure about Tuesday…” she chuckled “you know how Adam’s parties tend to get away from us!”

“Hahaha, perfectly stated! See you tomorrow…” Tommy dropped his phone back on the coffee table, a contented grin firmly fixed in place. Picking up the bottle of Jack, he stuck it back in the cupboard.

Life called…

A few messages later, he had a full day arranged; jam session with Bradford first, a picnic lunch on horseback with Liz and a night helping Sutan at the club, to take him into the wee small hours of tomorrow.

He absolutely fucking loved his friends…

Adam’s party day dawned whilst he was still seeing off the previous night. After a brief splash in the bathroom, he dropped on to his bed, face down and fully clothed. Tiny snores echoed around the room.

His alarm dragged him rudely from an exotic dream featuring giant feathers and satin bed sheets, his brain clinging on desperately to the images as they faded away, leaving him with a raging hard on and a disappointing sense of anti-climax.

Acknowledging the pun and the urgent need to do something to relieve the throbbing, he tottered off to the shower, emerging some time later, clean and weak kneed.

After coffee and a brief foray into Twitter, he headed out for party supplies ready for his room dressing session with Markus, Huxch and David at midday. The party mood was already buzzing when he arrived, with the three men collapsed in a heap on the floor, helpless with laughter.

Tommy’s eyebrow rose and he grinned as one by one they attempted to speak, failing to produce anything other than pre-adolescent squeaks and breathless gurgles.

The image was captured on his phone for the forthcoming photo album.

Finally able to gasp a greeting, David hauled the other two off the floor and they shared the reason for their hilarity, dissolving into giggles once more at the incredulous look on Tommy’s face.

As Tommy’s head processed the secret plan, he joined them in their side splitting laughter, especially when they proceeded to demonstrate a taste of the unconventional gift.

Consequently, it was some time before anyone was able to communicate coherently…

With large mugs of coffee recharging their depleted energy stores, they set about decorating the VIP lounge with banners, balloons and streamers, adding a few of the postcard sized info cards about Adam’s life to every table. Each card was different and had a picture on it as well. Leila had been more than generous in sharing her album of baby pictures… _Adam had been a beautiful infant, now a fucking beautiful man…_

_…a man I love so much…_

Tommy stacked the cone shaped gold candle holders into little piles on the table just inside the roped off area. The bag of flame-effect LED lights slid neatly under the table. Each guest would get a candle on arrival for the start-of-party birthday toast. Experience dictated it was a smart move to get this in before the drinks really flowed!

Once the party was underway, the huge black curtain could be pulled across for privacy from the general public. Markus certainly had an eye for details and this was one of the reasons Bootsy Bellows was one of Adam’s favourite haunts…

With the scene set, they shared a group hug and went their separate ways.

The rest of the day vanished in the blink of an eye and Tommy was running between the shower and his room, phone pressed to his ear as he confirmed to Liz he was just leaving to pick her up.

Dropping the phone on his bed, he hurriedly pulled his clothes on; black skinny jeans, the black _Ain’t Nothin’ but the Blues_ tee that Mike had given him a while back… _and Adam had said he liked…_ black leather jacket and black boots…

He’d donated the cost of a new pair of jeans and designer tee to the _We Are Family Foundation_ Adam Lambert birthday campaign.

A very swift application of kohl to outline his eyes and a rub of gloss on his lips and he was ready...and not _that_ far behind schedule.

Liz was waiting outside for him, her frown evident as he pulled up beside her. “You look beautiful…” The frown vanished as he leant across to drop a light kiss to her mouth before rejoining the flow of traffic.

They were there in plenty of time and, as Tommy had already done all the preparation earlier in the day with Markus, Huxch and David, there was little to do other than shoo away the occasional nosy reporter and wait for the guests to arrive.

Watching Liz as she charmed the latest arrivals, handing over the illuminated candle holders and explaining the way they were going to toast Adam when he walked in, Tommy pondered on the thing stopping him from committing to her completely…from saying those three words she had still yet to hear from his lips…

_His heart was Adam’s…therefore his I love you wasn’t his to give away…_

_Maybe he should try harder to love her…_

A loud cheer and spontaneous applause rescued him from certain self-torture as Adam and Sauli arrived, grinning happily, their hands entwined. Adam oozed sex appeal in the black textured shirt they’d bought down under, and his favourite leather trousers, Sauli opting for a black vest, leather jacket and leopard skin print pants.  Nodding hellos as they were guided through the throng, they looked relaxed and content, brief glimpses of fresh purple marks on their skin suggesting recent intimate pursuits…

_Tommy kicked his green goblins back into their cave…_

With Adam and Sauli sat on the bench sofa and everyone else stood in a giant horseshoe, the assembled family and friends launched into a rousing refrain of _Happy Birthday,_ holding up their candles, and followed it up with a toast for long life and complete happiness.

More cheers rang out as glasses were raised. The party was officially underway.

Everyone was mingling, lively chatter and music the order of the day…

Markus joined the group around Adam as Huxch strolled over to Tommy, draping an arm around his shoulders as he leant in closer. “Five minutes to operation _Rocky_ …” He pressed a kiss to Tommy’s cheek and moved away, mumbling about a refill of his empty glass.

“Who was that?” Liz frowned “and why the hell was he kissing you?”

 Tommy grinned “Huxch…and ‘cos I’m hot!” He winked, knowing he was winding her up but somehow he couldn’t resist. “Be right back…”

“TJ, come back here!” Her sharp tone only served to strengthen his resolve to get off his head as soon as the gift had been delivered. In the meantime, he had a job to do…

Moving across to a small control box on the wall, he tapped in the code Markus had given him and set the curtains to close mode. Once activated, the VIP area would not be visible from anywhere inside, or outside the club.

Mission completed, he returned to his glowering girlfriend, telling her to sshh when she immediately launched an attack for his flippant retort.

Sadly, she didn’t pay him any heed, still sniping at him bitterly for the many hugs and kisses he was sharing with people who were strangers to her. After attempting, unsuccessfully, to tune her out, and wishing Alla and Matt were here to distract her instead of performing in New York - no, actually it was fucking awesome for Halo Circus to be performing in NYC - he gave up and walked off.

He felt, rather than heard her fury, the multiple daggers sinking into his retreating back…

Weaving through the throng to the bar, he collected a fresh glass with a double shot and made his way back to the main area, casually checking his phone was ready to record the action.

“TJ, what the fuck do you think you’re doing, walking away from me?” Liz had found him.

Tommy shrugged and took a large mouthful from his drink. The amber liquid burned his throat with satisfying heat, giving him the required fire in his belly to impart a few home truths to his...his whatever she was…on-off girlfriend and he did a quick time check before turning to face her.

“I’m only saying this once. It’s not all about you. Tonight is Adam’s night. If you don’t like it, you can go home – I’ll happily call you a cab. Now, shut up because I’ve got stuff to do and I don’t need you bleating in my ear!”

The stunned look on Liz’s face was an absolute picture and he enjoyed the micro-second of silence before she opened her mouth.

Tommy braced himself for the onslaught, his turn to gape in shock as she reached for his hand and curled their fingers together “I’m sorry, TJ, you’re right and it is Adam’s night…forgive me…” She cuddled in close as Tommy impersonated a fish out of water…

The opening burst of _Gonna Fly Now,_ the Rocky theme tune made him jump, despite the fact he was expecting it, and he nodded slowly, pulling his hand away from Liz’s to start his recording as Markus led a bemused Adam to the central sofa.

Cheers rang out as David, in boxing gloves and a red boxer’s hooded robe, danced up to him, sparring gently with a laughing Adam. Huxch and Jason appeared on either side of the room, clad only in tight briefs. Adam looked from one to the other and collapsed back onto the sofa, giggling.

Screams of delight echoed as David shrugged off the robe to reveal a pair of red and gold traditional style boxer shorts and moved in closer, giving Adam a lap dance. Suddenly tugging the shorts down to reveal tight briefs, he thrust his hips and ground down, stopping just short of actual contact with Adam’s body in true lap dancer tradition.

Adam’s face was a joy to behold, huge happy grin as the audience clapped and whooped encouragement. As the music slid into the final chords, Adam leapt up and wrapped David into a warm hug, fond laughter and rousing applause resonating around the room.

Taking a quick bow, the three pals scampered away, high-fiving as their breathless hilarity followed their exit behind the scenes.

Adam sat back down, helpless with laughter.

“Bet you’ve never had a woman do that!” Terrance giggled and nudged Ashley “go give him a taste of the female version…”

Ashley long sexy legs and killer heels made for the perfect poise and she gyrated expertly, dropping onto Adam’s lap after a couple of minutes as she was giggling too much to continue. Hugging him tightly, she pressed a kiss to his cheek “Happy birthday, boss-man!”

Releasing Ash with a grin, Adam gazed around at the beaming faces of his family and friends. Spotting Tommy still recording, he reached out to grab a handful of t-shirt and haul his friend into his arms, Tommy straddling Adam’s lap with his hands clasped around Adam’s neck.

“Thank you, Glitterbaby…” The whispered words were heartfelt as he claimed Tommy’s mouth in a deep and dirty kiss, hands moving to tangle in hair as tongues duelled and blood supplies charged south in happy anticipation…

Whistles and cheers sounded as they came up for air, Tommy leaning limply against the warm body of the man he adored, unable to coax his legs to move. As he made an attempt to stand, Adam’s arms tightened around him once more “Love you, Tommy Joe…”

“You too, Babyboy…you too…”

Standing on wobbly legs, Tommy was claimed by Liz, with Adam falling into Sauli’s waiting arms to kiss him deeply. Tommy watched them over Liz’s shoulder. Seeing them together and complete…it should’ve hurt, but tonight it was just how it should be… _they belonged together…_

With the entertainment interlude complete, the party resumed, love and laughter ringing out long into the early hours of the new day.

Tommy danced on air, a contented grin a fixture on his face…

… _he fucking loved his life…_  


	33. Chapter 33

Tommy spent a lazy Sunday stretched out on the sofa re-watching his favourite episodes of Breaking Bad and M*A*S*H, rounding the day off with a Super Mario duel with Mike accompanied by copious servings of beer and tacos… _perfect chill-out Sunday…_

During the morning Adam tweeted about his unexpected personal gift, linking a picture of the action with a **yup, this happened!**

Twitter went into immediate meltdown after David’s response **I’ve got the video to prove it [remember forever] haha** as fans clamoured for a look at the sexy show. Order was restored when he promised to post it after a month.

Opening the video file he’d sent David, Tommy watched it back again, the events of the evening replaying through his head.

He dismissed the twinge of guilt for brushing Liz off when she’d called earlier, telling her he had a stack of stuff to do that she’d hate, so rain check for another time…

_Well, it was true – she hated Breaking Bad as it was in bad taste and as for M*A*S*H, she just didn’t get the appeal of Hot Lips and the gang…_

_…and don’t get her started on Mario Kart 8…grown men playing kids’ games was simply childish, immature and quite frankly pathetic…_

Tommy scoffed, concluding not for the first time, Liz had no fucking clue, as his car charged past Mike’s to steal victory on the last bend.

“You sneaky fucker…” Mike shoved his shoulder as Tommy whooped victoriously. “Best of five?”

“’m still gonna whip your arse, Playboy! Now go get us another beer…” He waved his empty bottle “we’re out and I need to refuel if I’m gonna beat your sorry hide into the ground again!”

Mike pushed to his feet “you’re a bossy little shit!” He headed for the kitchen, laughing. “I don’t know how Adam says on top of all that attitude…”

_Adam…_

_Adam and Sauli…_

_Adam on top…_

_Fuck…_

Blackness rushed Tommy’s head, dive bombing the good mood nodes and sucking all the joy from them. Despondency surged forward…

Mike skipped back into the room with two more beers. As he dropped back down on the sofa, Tommy dragged a grin to his face, clinking their bottles together before taking a huge slug and forcing the tortuous images out of sight.

They raced. With the distractions and a distinct drop in Tommy’s concentration as a result, he wasn’t too surprised when Mike passed the chequered flag way ahead of him. The time honoured Mike method of celebrating - energetic tickling of his defeated opponent - resulted in playful rough and tumble and they were rolling around on the floor when Tommy cracked his head on the table leg.

The sudden pain brought tears to his eyes and once the floodgates were opened there was no closing them until all his pent up emotions were released, heaving sobs shaking his body as the tears coursed down his face. An anguished “ _Adam”_ in response to Mike’s frantic questions enough to confirm there was no need to call 911, before Mike gathered his distraught friend into his arms to hold him tightly.

As the sobs gave way to strangled gasps for air, Tommy lay limply in Mike’s arms, his eyes closed as he attempted to regain control.

“T-bone…you okay?” Mike’s tentative whisper brought a twisted smile to Tommy’s tear stained and mascara streaked face.

“’m dandy…never better!” He opened his eyes, - red, swollen eyes - to meet Mike’s anxious gaze. “’m fine…better now that’s out…” Settling more comfortably into the comforting circle of Mike’s embrace, Tommy smiled wryly. “You lucked out there, Playboy; Sutan usually gets the meltdowns…see what beating me at Mario gets you!”

Mike grinned, relief at the return of the badass roomie he knew and loved “Guess I should just let you win in future then…”

“Fucker!” Tommy wiped his face with the hem of his t-shirt.

“Dick!” Mike released Tommy from his hold and crawled across to the drinks cupboard, pulling out a new bottle of Jack “It’s medicinal…”

Nodding his approval, Tommy clambered to his feet to grab two glasses from the kitchen. Meeting back on the sofa, Mike poured them generous measures and they raised them in a toast “life, love and the fucking crap that goes with it…”

Both took a large mouthful before sitting back and swapping the game for a flick through the movie channels. By the time Tanya returned from a day visiting her sister, both men were decidedly drunk, cuddled up and giggling helplessly as they watched Dodgeball. Talking loudly over each other, they attempted to explain why they were totally shit-faced…

Shaking her head, she disappeared into the kitchen to make some coffee.

Thirty minutes later peace reigned once more as both men snored it off in their respective bedrooms. Resigning herself to either snore-induced-deafness or a night on the sofa, Tanya grinned ruefully, rummaged in the bathroom cabinet for some ear plugs and took herself to bed.

Tommy groaned as the jackhammer chorus in his head threatened to break through his skull. The apartment was quiet and focusing his bleary gaze on the clock told him he’d been out for almost twelve hours.

After a painfully slow change of altitude as the jackhammers behind his eyes were joined by a re-enactment of the big bang, Tommy renewed his solemn vow never to drink again…

A crawl to the bathroom to relieve the pressure on his bladder was followed by careful relocation to the kitchen, several aspirin washed down with copious amounts of water and the controlled production of fresh strong coffee.

Two mugs of rocket fuel later, Tommy was in a fit state to start the day, albeit it was now almost afternoon for most of the population…

Under the enlivening spray of the shower, his hands awakened bodily parts thus far dormant and he was tingling all over by the time the water was cooling and he’d regained use of his legs.

Finally dressed and the pain in his head a now distant memory, Tommy grabbed his jacket and headed out to his favourite diner for a belated breakfast.

Sat in a booth in solitary bliss he checked his messages. There was a **wanna do lunch today?** from Brad. A quick time check showed it was lunchtime now. He thumbed a reply with his location and grinned at the immediate response. Brad was en route…

He had three missed calls, a terse voicemail and two messages from Liz. Grimacing in anticipation of a frosty reception, Tommy called her.

It went surprisingly well to start with.

He acknowledged her frustration at his lack of response, earning himself valuable considerate boyfriend points, happily agreed to meet Alla and Matt for dinner to hear all about their gig in New York…more boyfriend points…risked her wrath to explain he wouldn’t be able to stay over as he had Ada… _an early meeting_ in the morning, finally losing all his carefully accumulated kudos as Brad dropped into the booth next to him, wrapped him into a huge hug proclaiming “hey there gorgeous, I’ve missed you…” as he pressed a loud wet kiss to Tommy’s cheek.

Liz switched her understanding tone for one of sub-zero temperature “that’s Brad” the name spat out rather than uttered.

Compounding her fury, Brad peered at the tiny screen as Tommy held it up to show who he was talking to “Hi Lizzie, he’s mine now, you can have him back in a bit…byeeeeeeee!” Grabbing the phone, Brad cut the call, laughing at Tommy’s horrified expression. “Aw, c’mon, she hates me anyway so where’s the harm…” He shoved Tommy’s shoulder, fluttering his eyelashes playfully.

“You daft fucker!” Tommy shoved back “missed you too….”

They talked the afternoon away, laughter echoing around their booth. Promising to check in before he left the country, Tommy hugged Brad tightly and they climbed into their respective cars. Tommy grinned all the way home.

He was still grinning when he picked Liz up later. He’d stopped off at the grocery store on his way to grab some flowers for the ladies and a bottle of single malt for Matt. He’d earned fresh points with the flowers before adding more with the offer of duty driver…

It was a most enjoyable evening with excellent food and good company. Tommy was almost sorry when he dropped Liz home, kissing her goodnight and driving away quickly before he changed his mind about staying the night.

Content and looking forward to the morning, Tommy fell into bed, his dreams happy ones…

He woke early and hit the shower, taking extra care with his hair and light make-up – just a touch of gloss on his lips and some kohl around his eyes to emphasise their luminosity. Snug black jeans, his Queen top and wedge heeled boots topped with his newest leather jacket completed the package.

Adam’s gift was wrapped in classy textured black paper and tied with gold ribbon, sat in a shiny black gift bag along with the little hostess gift for Leila.

He was ready to go…just another hour to wait…

He passed the time playing on his phone. After sending a birthday message to Adam, he hit Twitter, adding another message there **Hope I was the first text! Happy Birthday. Love ya man.**

A huge grin lit his face as he watched the fans retweet it hundreds of times, adding their own birthday wishes to his.

That grin stretched even further with a _favourited_ notification. Adam was awake, his **OMG, officially 31 !** tweet sending the Glamberts into raptures and frantic retweeting around the globe.

By the time Tommy was ready to leave, Adam had birthday tweets from the likes of Sam Sparro, Paula Abdul, Terrance, Pauley Perrette, Lyndsey Parker, K D Lang and Michael Orland, all sending their love and good wishes.

One of Tommy’s favourite tweets came from Bonnie McKee, agreeing with every word of her beautiful message **Happy Birthday to my fav person to produce. You are funniest, sweetest, most talented m/fucker ever. Luv you boo.**

He was still grinning when he parked outside Leila’s house. Checking before he got out of his car, Nile Rodgers had added his birthday wishes to the rapidly expanding pile, encouraging fans to continue donating and signing Adam’s card. The fund had now surpassed the $31,000 initial aim and was heading up towards $50,000… _I love this man so fucking much…he makes me a better person…_

Tommy drew a shaky breath as warmth swept his entire being, the strength of emotion sending him towards Leila’s front door like he was walking on air…

“Glitterbaby” Adam’s delighted face merely added to the feel-good endorphins surging through Tommy’s system and he flung himself into Adam’s arms, hugged him to death and snuck a kiss for good measure. Pulling back, he realised everyone was grinning at them and his cheeks turned pink, dropping his head forward to hide behind his hair... _fuck…_

Adam’s rich chuckle and the comforting weight of his hand clasped around Tommy’s own as he led them inside grounded him, the simple action reminding him he was among friends…close friends and family…

Everything was as it should be…

Moments later, Lee, Scarlett and Riff arrived and the entire group moved out into the back yard. Adam opened his birthday gifts as Eber and Sauli made an unlikely pair of breakfast chefs; Sauli whipping up pancakes and waffles on the large barbeque griddle with Eber creating his signature scrambled eggs with crispy bacon, on the hob at the side.

With Riff perched on his knee to assist in paper removal from the various parcels, Adam unwrapped a stunning picture of himself and Riff, both oblivious to the camera as they ran through the long grass in a poppy-filled meadow, against the backdrop of the setting sun. Printed on acrylic and mounted in a simple black frame, the image was alive with colour, love and laughter.

“Hey, look bud, it’s us!” Adam held the picture out as Riff jabbed his finger at their figures, bouncing excitedly.

“Thank you, guys, it’s beautiful…” Adam pressed a kiss to Riff’s forehead and hugged his Godson before blowing a loud raspberry on the toddler’s neck to a volley of infectious giggles.     

“Unca Ad-a!” Riff wriggled free and scampered away, shrieking with laughter as he was scooped up into Tommy’s arms to be spun around and landed on Lee’s shoulders to watch the rest of Adam’s gift opening.

The next parcel was a gold mic with a tag attached detailing the matching mic stand – currently lurking out of sight in the laundry cupboard! “Mom, Ray…I _love_ it…” Adam’s face glowed with happiness as he moved over to hug his mom and stepdad tightly.

Neil and Elisse had boxed a single dog-chewed and rancid wellie boot, the assembled group falling down with helpless laughter as a giggling Adam attempted to stuff the delightful footwear item up Neil’s elegant top.

Ray intervened before bodily damage was caused…to the wellie…

With the offending article returned to the neighbour’s back yard, Elisse handed over a gift card for Adam’s favourite shoe retailer and peace was restored with brotherly hugs. 

Eber’s gift was a rather amazing recording gizmo; comprising a high tech tube which unrolled to become a piano keyboard with the ability to record, replay and layer sounds… “In short, according to the salesman, it’s every composer’s portable studio for creating music wherever you want!” Eber chuckled “You’ll have to let me know if it lives up to the claims…”

“Thanks, dad, it’s awesome and we’ll definitely give it a workout, won’t we baby…” Adam wrapped his dad into a hug before planting a chaste kiss to Sauli’s mouth on his way back to his seat. Sauli grinned and nodded, giving Eber thumbs up over Adam’s shoulder.

Tommy held his breath as Adam dropped back into his chair and reached for his black gift bag. The first item out was the small silver wrapped package for Leila, her obvious delight at the owl charm for her bracelet reawakening that warmth deep within Tommy’s being as she folded him into her arms and hugged him close.

Adam slipped the bow of his parcel undone and peeled the tape carefully from the black paper, unfolding it to reveal a leather jewellery box. The sharp intake of breath and dancing light in his eyes as he opened the box suggested Tommy had scored a winner. Lifting it off the black satin lining, Adam held it up to read the inscription. He met Tommy’s gaze “my name?” His smile melted Tommy’s heart… _I fucking love this man…_

Tommy’s nod brightened Adam’s smile still further.

“It matches our bracelets too” Adam pointed at his wrist before raising the chain over his head and settling the pendant snugly against his chest.

… _you’re wearing our promise…_

The slow flip in Tommy’s stomach as Adam reached out to tug him onto his lap sent Tommy’s butterflies soaring into excited flight and he lost himself in the blissful aroma and sensation of everything _Adam._ Adam’s arms closed around him as he captured Tommy’s lips for the sweetest of kisses. “Thank you Glitterbaby, it’s beautiful…”

… _just like you…_

_…fuck, I’m such a fucking sap…_

“…and yes, yours was the first…” the soft whisper drew a confused wrinkle to Tommy’s face.

“Huh?”

Adam’s chuckle against his ear sent delicious shivers eddying down Tommy’s spine “your birthday text was my first one this morning…” He pressed a light kiss to Tommy’s forehead “love you, Tommy Joe…”

“Love you too…”

_…always Babyboy, always…_

“Okay you lot, when you’ve finished with all the hugging, breakfast is ready. Riff, you wanna be first for some pancakes?” Eber grinned as Riff scrambled down from his dad’s shoulders, his happy laughter drawing fond chuckles all round.

Plates were filled, the deck resonating with the cheerful sound of cutlery clinking on china and lively conversation.

They lingered long into the morning, finally splitting to go their separate ways just after midday.

Tommy’s happy grin remained in place the entire day, even surviving the heart-twisting display of loving looks and long lingering touches as Adam described the Aquarian Wolf art Sauli had bought him for his birthday…

A fun filled guitar lesson with Bradford mid-afternoon finished with an impromptu writing session and Tommy was once again impressed beyond belief at how quickly Braffy had mastered the basics of creating new music. He might be a late starter, but he was a thoroughbred through and through…the man was born to rock and roll…

Deciding they’d earned a beer, they chose _Sheer Heart Attack_ from Tommy’s Queen album collection and dropped onto the sofa to relax. Tommy’s grin finally met its nemesis when Bradford’s new-hard-man-of-rock image was shelved temporarily as he shared the news he’d asked Kate and Millie to move in with him. “We had such a good time at Adam’s party and somehow it just came up in conversation. I was so scared she’d say no…” he paused “but she said yes…”  

The look of sheer happiness on his friend’s face was both heart-warming and heart-breaking at the same time, reminding him yet again of the cold loneliness of unrequited love…

Shoving the sudden pain aside, he hauled Braffy in for a hug before they clunked beer bottles in a toast to Bradford and Kate’s future.

With Bradford gone and Tommy alone once more, he took his guitar and a fresh beer off to his room to pour his feelings out in his music… Emotionally drained, he fell asleep surrounded by the angst-ridden sheet music for his newest creation.

Waking at three the next morning, he shed his clothes in a messy heap on the floor, sliding under the quilt to resume his tortured dreams into the new day.

Daylight saw yet another resolution to make it work with Liz.

In his own way he loved her…didn’t he?

… _but not in the way he loved Adam…_

He kept busy, cleaning the apartment, shopping for groceries and a birthday gift for Riff.

Late in the afternoon he played his new song; the blues inspired tune telling of the bittersweet taste of forbidden love…love that could never be…

The apartment echoed to the haunting sound of guitar and Tommy’s tears…

Feeling a little better for crying it out, he trailed to the shower to wash away the melancholy, added some pretty to his face and headed to Sutan’s club. Tonight needed to be about fun and not being alone…

Tommy woke with a jump as the bedclothes were dragged off him and cold air hit his bare skin. “Vayvee, time to shift that pretty little tush. We got work to do!”

Whimpering as goose bumps ran riot over his flesh, Tommy grabbed at Raja’s robe as it was dropped onto his head and curled his body under it. Sutan’s bed was comfortable and he was reluctant to move out of it just yet. On the plus side, however, his head was mercifully hangover-free…

Sutan’s chuckle was followed by soft lips pressing against his forehead. “C’mon boo, we’re manning the homeless shelter kitchen this morning. We got people counting on us…” Sutan retreated to the bedroom door “Coffee in the kitchen. You got five minutes before I send Raja in…”

Tommy was up, dressed and gulping coffee in four minutes flat.

Together with some of the staff from the club, they loaded up the van with supplies to spend a busy and eye-opening three hours serving breakfast at the shelter. With his own problems firmly put into perspective, Tommy hugged Sutan fiercely before getting into his car “Thanks, boo”

“Anytime, Vayvee. Remember Raja loves you completely, but she’s always happy to kick your arse when you need it…”

“Love you both back!” Tommy’s grin was genuine and he drove away with renewed appreciation for all the things – and the people – he had in his life.

After a shower and a change of clothes, Tommy messaged Brad to confirm he was still coming over to watch the livestream of Adam’s Unity Award presentation in New York. It would also be the first time _Shady_ had been performed live by the three writers and collaborators… _it all started with a tweet!_

A few hours later, Brad and Tommy settled in front of the computer to watch the red carpet arrivals at the We Are Family Foundation 2012 Celebration Gala. Nile Rodgers greeted everyone personally; the man a true icon and vibrant talent, whose energy inspired awe in all those he encountered.  

They watched Sam Sparro and David Stern pose for pictures and move inside, followed by several other attendees Tommy didn’t recognise. Finally Adam arrived… _alone…why isn’t Sauli with him?_ He looked fucking gorgeous in leather trousers, black silk vest and three-quarter length leather coat. He posed happily with Nile and fellow honouree Jeni Stepanek, waving to the cheering crowds before the group headed into the Hammerstein ballroom.

Now they had an hour or so before the next stream. The laptop was pushed aside to make way for dinner; Brad poured drinks and grabbed cutlery whilst Tommy sorted out the various containers of Chinese. Busily dividing the contents between plates, he didn’t hear his phone until Brad skipped into the kitchen, a wicked grin on his face as he handed it over.

“Adam thinks you’re spending too much time with me…” he winked, mouthing _he’s jealous, play on it!_ “tell him how hard it is to resist my animal magnetism…you love me!”

Tommy jabbed the phone on speaker “Haha, he’s right, he’s totally irresistible…”

“If you like mouthy little blonds…”

“Which you obviously do!” Tommy and Brad burst into giggles, both speaking at once. “And you introduced us, so I have you to thank…”

“Yeah, you got me on that one…” Adam chuckled “so are you watching me or is this some romantic tryst?” he almost managed to hide the tremor in his voice.

“We’re here for you, Babyboy. We saw you on the red carpet and you’re looking shit hot…” Tommy bit his lip before adding hesitantly “you weren’t posing with Sauli tonight” It wasn’t quite a question but…

The pause was tiny, but the silence was deafening.

“Nile wanted just those being honoured or nominated on the carpet tonight…” Another pause echoed across the airwaves “it’s, er, it’s so the attention is solely on the foundation and not on individuals… Sauli’s waiting for me at our table with the other husbands and wives…”

Brad and Tommy exchanged glances. Whatever was going on in New York, it wasn’t all plain sailing for sure.

“Give him our love and have a wonderful time tonight. We’re both so proud of you, aren’t we Cheeks?”

“We are, darling, we’re _very_ proud, and we’re looking forward to your performance.”

“Me too, gonna be wild to have the three of us up there doing _Shady…_ Oh, I gotta go, they’re calling us in for dinner now…”

“Enjoy Babyboy, and remember, we love you…” A stifled sob sounded just before the line went dead.

Tommy and Brad looked at each other. Shoving their plates of cooling dinner into the microwave to reheat, both followed their own train of thoughts, both wondering what was really happening in New York...

By the time they’d finished eating and discussing the stranger elements of Adam’s call – as well as the fact he’d called in the first place, it was time for the next livestream.

Adam’s speech as he accepted his Unity Award from Sam Sparro was simple, pure and from the heart as he oozed integrity and sex appeal. Of the many awards and honours he’d accepted over the past few years, it was obvious this one had extra special significance for him as he looked almost overwhelmed with emotion.

_Or it could be something else getting him choked up…_

He recovered to put on an astounding performance, the combination of Nile’s funk guitar rhythm and Adam and Sam on vocals producing a killer vibe that sizzled across virtual space and must surely have blown people’s minds who were lucky enough to be there…

When it finished, Tommy and Brad hugged tightly, no words needed as proud tears glistened in twin sets of soft brown eyes. A JD nightcap toast and they cuddled up on Tommy’s bed, falling asleep almost immediately.

Morning saw a mass of tweets and messages singing Adam’s praises for his speech, philanthropy and the blistering performance. Tommy set about his day with a happy smile fixed firmly in place. Brad departed after breakfast, a dinner date set for the following week to catch up before Tommy’s departure to Eastern Europe.

Next, Tommy wrapped Riff’s birthday present and wrote on his card.

With time to kill, he messaged Liz to arrange dinner for the following day and then Adam to check his flight details.

**No Sauli. Staying for photoshoot. Wanna meet me at airport and go on to** **Riff’s from there? A**

Thumbing a quick reply, Tommy hit the bathroom for a light touch of make-up, grabbed his jacket, wallet and Riff’s present before heading out to his car.

After the stop off at Adam’s to collect his requested clothes and the large gift-wrapped box, Tommy hit the highway for the drive to the airport.

Despite the bright smiles for the fans, Adam was quiet on the way back to the car, saying little until they were on the road.

“Thanks, Glitterbaby.” He slumped back in his seat, the façade well and truly dropped with weariness rolling off him in waves.

“Any time…” Tommy glanced across, Adam’s eyes were closed and now they were out of the sunlight, Tommy could see the dark circles under his eyes. But it wasn’t just tiredness…there was something else playing on Adam’s mind… _tread carefully Ratliff…_

“You were fucking amazing last night…”

A genuine grin lit Adam’s face and he opened his eyes. “The whole thing was astounding; the award, Nile, Sam…and I can’t even start to say how it felt singing with them… _Shady_ came of age last night.”

“Brad and I were cheering so loudly we shook the foundations of my apartment block! We’re so proud of you…”

A shadow crossed Adam’s face at the mention of Brad, but it was gone in an instant.

“So did you get some good photos of you and Sauli with everyone?” Tommy ignored the green goblins gnawing at his insides.

He was unprepared for the sudden flood of tears as Adam hunched in his seat “No…he didn’t even come to the gala…he… _he…_ ” the words were lost behind heart rending sobs.

Stuck in the flow of traffic on the highway with ‘No Stop’ zones either side, Tommy was powerless, only able to reach for Adam’s hand and squeeze tightly. “Let me get off this road…” Tommy moved across the lanes, finally diving off at the next exit, a good eight minutes after Adam’s initial tears. He’d stopped crying now and sat staring straight ahead, his face pale and blotchy, eyes red and puffy and holding on to Tommy’s hand with a grip of iron.

It tore at Tommy’s heart to see him so broken.

Pulling into an underground car park, Tommy took a ticket at the barrier and headed for the furthest corner, driving into a space well away from anyone else. He’d barely stopped the engine when Adam crawled into his lap and buried his face into Tommy’s chest, fresh tears falling to soak into the fabric of Tommy’s hoodie.

Rocking them both gently in the confined space, Tommy wrapped his arms around the distraught man… _the man he loved with every fibre of his being…_ and held him until his sobs gave way to tiny whimpers, every one driving another spike through Tommy’s heart…

“He didn’t come to the gala. We got to New York to find a message waiting for him from Luukas. He had arranged dinner with Sauli’s publicist and the magazine editor who wanted to talk about moving Sauli’s shoot up to front cover status…” Adam lifted his head to meet Tommy’s eyes “I saw the joy light up his face and then he remembered why we were there. He looked so disappointed and just crumpled the note into his pocket.”

Adam cuddled closer, his voice dropping to a whisper “I couldn’t be so selfish so I told him to go…I _made_ him go and I changed his flight home for tomorrow and sorted out the hotel…”

“That was a beautiful thing to do for him…” Tommy swallowed hard “He must know that you really love him…”

“So why does it feel like I’m losing him? We spend more time apart than we do together and…” the whisper was barely audible “what if he gets so successful he doesn’t have time for me any more?” Adam’s fingers dug into Tommy’s flesh “What if he leaves me? I can’t… _I can’t lose him…I love him so much…_ ”

Icy chills set in, numbing Tommy’s anguished emotion…this wasn’t about him right now, it was about Adam, _the man he loved, the man who needed his support…_

He took a deep breath “now listen to me Lambert! You’re beautiful, talented and sexy as fuck. You’ve got family and a man who love you completely… _me, it should be fucking me…_ not to mention an army of friends and two million Glamberts who’d kill for you! And yes, Sauli’s career is taking off, but you’re both strong and you can cope with this. The hard times apart just make the good times together even sweeter…” He tipped Adam’s face up to kiss him lightly “now dry your eyes and let’s go enjoy your Godson’s birthday party and when Sauli comes home tomorrow you give him a welcome home to remember.”

Tommy’s tormented butterflies kicked hard at his insides and reached for the Jack Daniels… _fuckfuckfuck…_ he forced the images of the reunion away as they burned into his brain.

He cupped Adam’s face to stare into his eyes “You got that, mister?” He managed a grin as Adam nodded slowly “Good, then let’s get the fuck outta this fucking car park and find a restroom to get changed in.”

Unable to find the words, Adam squeezed hard before climbing awkwardly off Tommy’s lap and back into his seat, Tommy immediately pining for the warmth of Adam’s body pressed up against his own.

Silence reigned as they exited the car park for the princely sum of five dollars… _low cost masochistic torture a speciality…_

Forty minutes later, Adam’s clothes and face sorted, they were bouncing into the back yard at Lee and Scarlett’s, gifts and cards in hand, as they sought out the birthday party boy.

Cowboy Riff squealed with delight at his mini guitar, and climbed Tommy’s legs happily for a cuddle and twirl around. Landing the giggling toddler back on his feet again, they watched as he tore the wrapping off a massive wooden railway set from Unca Adam. Chaos ensued as said railway was immediately tipped out and set up, numerous larger boys…Lee, Terrance, Johnny, Isaac, Adam and Sam all eager to assist…

Tommy laughed and captured picture after picture of happy faces, burying the still raw hurt deep inside… _today was Riff’s day…_

Riff had long since gone to bed after kisses for everyone, leaving the adults sat around the smouldering barbeque with glasses of wine, relaxing and chatting. Tommy sat on the grass, one hand on Sophie’s tummy waiting for the baby to kick, when his phone buzzed making him jump. Before he could check the message, the baby kicked and he jumped again, the others grinning at the awed look on his face.

Fond laughter echoed long into the evening.

It wasn’t until he got home after dropping Adam off, Tommy remembered to check his phone. He had several messages from Liz, one from Sutan, two from Lee and one from Sauli.

Liz had a few performance dates she wanted him to support her at and had also sent him the link to a new restaurant opening at the weekend, the none too subtle hint about Valentine’s Day causing him to roll his eyes. He replied in the affirmative to her gig dates and promised to check out the restaurant. He was too fucking weary to fight it right now…

Sutan had a drag night for him, or rather, for Kiki, if she was willing to come out and play with the other queens… He sent an immediate _fuck yeah_ response, with a long row of hearts and kisses. The last time had been such fun and the recollection of lace panties against his skin sent a surge of heat southwards, wriggling as his jeans tightened uncomfortably.

That he bypassed Sauli’s message was purely accidental…

_…the fuck it was…_

_…but…_

Lee had sent him a couple of photos from earlier in the day. The first one had Riff sat on Adam’s shoulders with him looking down at Tommy. All three were totally in the moment, relaxed and carefree. In Lee’s classic black and white, it was a winning shot.

The second one surpassed this by a mile. Again it was a picture of Adam, Tommy and Riff, this time taken from behind them. Adam and Tommy each held one of Riff’s hands and the toddler was jumping up between them. Lee had captured Riff mid-jump, a side view of the huge smile on his face as he looked up towards the two men. Adam and Tommy were turned towards Riff and Lee had managed to snap the split second when their eyes met, pure elation and connection lighting up the image. It was spectacular and set Tommy’s nerve endings tingling as memories of the numerous times Adam had worn that same expression looking at him, rattled through his head… _yours, Babyboy, always…_

After tapping an appreciative thank you to Lee, Tommy reset his phone background picture and spent long minutes gazing at a screenshot close up of Adam’s face.

Finally, fortified by another mental rerun of his and Adam’s closest moments, Tommy opened Sauli’s message.

**Thank you minun ystavani for the comfort for Adam. You are best friend we could ever have. We love you both of us very much. I will see you soon. Sauli**

Somehow, the knowledge Adam had shared today’s emotional fallout with his boyfriend gave Tommy immense satisfaction and he replied with a series of emoji and the first of Lee’s pictures, his possessive goblins stopping him from adding the second one…

… _that one was just his and Adam’s…_

His head buzzing happily, Tommy headed for bed.

The days following flew past, dinners and gigs with Liz, guitar lessons and writing sessions with Bradford, a band dinner to officially celebrate Kate’s moving in, lunch with Adam and Sauli, script workouts with Brad, Mario sessions with Mike, packing for the tour and a fucking fun-tastic fashion parade as Kiki alongside the Lady Raja and her queens… Tommy’s days were full and he revelled in every opportunity, making time to accompany Sutan once more to serve breakfast at the homeless shelter.

Band rehearsal for the newly dubbed _We Are Glamily_ tour saw them gathered in their usual circle on the floor of the practice room on the morning of Valentine’s day. Discussions regarding the new songs to add to the extended setlist were well underway, the extra sponsorship from those super bigwigs as Braffy called them, allowing them to expand the tour into a real spectacle.

With kick off scheduled in three days in South Korea, they had much to do before their flight tomorrow afternoon…

Tommy sat with a mass of sheet music surrounding his legs as he attempted to order the songs for best effect, concentration evident in the absent minded biting of his bottom lip. The voices around him faded into the background as he heard each song in his head, focusing on the start and end of the melody as he chased the optimum links for best effect.

Agreement was finally reached with the tried and tested opening combination of  _If I Had You_ ,  _Naked Love_ ,  _Cuckoo_ ,  _Never Close Our Eyes_ , adding a GNT favourite _Music Again_ , back to _Pop That Lock_ to close out the upbeat first group.

Moving from there into an acoustic segment they had the ever popular  _Whataya Want From Me?_ ,  _Chokehold_ ,  _Broken English_ , the debut of Rihanna cover  _Stay_ and the raw and haunting  _Underneath_ , followed by _Outlaws of Love_ with its reggae vibe to end the middle section.  _Kickin' In_  upped the tempo for the final third, adding another GNT era classic  _For Your Entertainment_ , the crowd pleasers _Fever_ , _Dragon Attack_ and _Shady_  to end. Adam’s band intros would fit into _Shady_ and they’d encore with  _Trespassing_. It was a setlist designed to showcase everything Adam had done and Tommy couldn’t wait to get out there…

Adam’s wardrobe changes still needed to be timed into the mix and Tommy couldn’t prevent the huge grin when Adam announced he’d be wearing the Blonds _Trespassing_ jacket for the final numbers.

With discussion time over, they leapt to their instruments…

It was almost five when they broke for the day. Falling into Adam’s arms for a somewhat sweaty hug, Tommy lost himself in the warmth of the embrace and that aroma of just _Adam…_

“Happy Valentine’s, my Tommy Joe…love you…”

“You too, Babyboy…”

Their lips met briefly for a kiss of fondness, undertones of wistful longing lingering in Tommy’s head long after they’d all gone their different ways.

After a hot shower he flopped on his bed, set his alarm for an hour and fell asleep.

Refreshed from his nap, Tommy dug out his infrequently worn blue suit, an Adam gifted Paul Smith shirt and, after a brief tussle with his disgruntled neck, the cats rocking guitar tie from his last birthday. The matching cats socks and his creepers completed the look.  

Their booking was for eight o’clock so he was ahead of schedule. Shoving the box with the aquamarine earrings into his trouser pocket…yeah, fucking lucky he had them as he’d forgotten to buy her anything…he calculated he had fifteen minutes of Twitter playtime before he had to leave.

His stomach flipped as Adam’s twitter mentions filled his notifications. Backtracking to the original post which had been retweeted over a thousand times already, Tommy gazed at Adam’s tweet **Valentine Homies. Love to you ALL!** with link to an IG file. He hesitated before clicking on the link, steeling himself for the undoubted show of love…

The picture itself was hazy, a simple selfie of their smiling faces with the bright flame of the candle conjuring up images of a cosy romantic dinner to be followed up with a night of tender loving…

Tommy clicked on _like_ and closed the picture hurriedly as images designed to torture his pining heart rampaged through his imagination. He thumbed a brief reply telling them to have fun, retweeted, and shoved his phone back into his pocket. Standing, he grabbed his car keys and headed out. He’d impress Liz by arriving early…

When she opened the door, Tommy’s gasp brought a pleased smile to her face.

“You look stunning…” It was the truth. The raw silk black dress clung to her curves, accentuating the seductive roll of her hips as she walked back to collect her faux fur wrap. Her hair tumbled in gleaming waves down to her shoulders and her lips glistened with a red hot kissable sheen. It was the stuff of an adolescent’s wet dream.

He followed her in, handing over the card he’d stopped off to buy on the way over…yeah, so really not good at remembering this stuff…

Thanking him prettily, Liz leant in for a kiss, her hands running over his body. As they reached his hips, her fingers closed over the small square box in his pocket and she pulled back, her eyes wide as she gazed at him.

“Is that for me?” her eyelashes fluttered.

“Huh?” Tommy blinked “Oh, yeah…was going to give it to you at the restaurant, but you can have it now if you want?”

“Oh, TJ, you’re quite the romantic!” she giggled “do you need to sit down?”

“Nah, this is good…” He fished the box out of his pocket and offered it to her “Happy Valentine’s day, Liz”

Her hand folded around his and she pulled him back in for a lingering kiss. When they broke apart, she smiled coquettishly “I’ve waited so long for this moment, TJ…”

Tommy half shrugged, she was making way too big a thing of it, but if it kept her happy… He watched as she very slowly opened the box, noting the happy, dreamy look faded rapidly, changing to an angry red, her eyes narrowing as she stared disbelieving at the earrings.

“What the fuck is this?” soft seduction was nowhere in sight.

“Huh? Earrings, they match your necklace…I thought…” Tommy frowned, puzzled “don’t you like them?”

“ _Earrings?_ Valentine’s day, a classy restaurant, a suit…arriving early and you offer me fucking **_earrings?_** ”

There was no doubting her ire, but Tommy was at a total loss as to what he’d done wrong.

However, she wasn’t finished with him yet, leaning closer to hiss in his face “ _You turn up on Valentine’s day with a square jewellery box in your pocket…what the fuck is a girl supposed to think?”_

The colour drained from Tommy’s face as realisation - and horror – set in. She thought it was an engagement ring… _fuckfuckfuck…_ He took a step back. The expression on her face was positively dangerous.

“’m sorry…I’d never propose…” the words were out of his mouth instinctively.

It was obviously the wrong thing to say as cold fury glared from her eyes and she clenched her hand around the offending box, pulling her elbow back…preparing to deliver a physical blow.

Tommy backed to the door, his brain frantically attempting to process the sudden change of events. The box was hurled in his direction, bouncing harmlessly off the wall a foot to his left.

“Liz, I’m so sorry, I never meant to mislead…” Even in his shocked state at her ridiculous assumption he wanted to marry her, Tommy genuinely didn’t want to leave it like this.

**_“I should’ve known…how could you marry me when you’re in love with Adam fucking Lambert…you’ve always been in love with him…_** ” Her face crumpled and her eyes filled with tears “you’ve _never_ told me you loved me…” she stared at him “why don’t you love me TJ?”

“I…er…” _fuckshitbuggerfuck_ “I do…in my own way, I guess…” his voice faltered, unsure of which way to tread. All paths were littered with potential landmines…

And he’d picked wrong again, as her lips compressed into a thin line, tears drying as his words lit another fuse. “But you’re no better than me are you, TJ? The man you love is busy shagging the arse off of someone else and still you hang around the pair of silly fags like a pathetic little fanboy…”

The venom in her voice shocked him and he held his hands out in front of his face in a futile attempt to stave off the bitter attack.

To no avail.

“You’re worse than me, TJ. I think I always knew you didn’t love me like I loved you, but you…” triumph sparked briefly, overriding the hurt “in your deluded tiny mind, you think you stand a chance with him…” Her smile was cruel “You’ll never be with him - why on earth would he want a sap head like you…a nothing guitar player…” she paused “Now, _get out…get out of my fucking house…”_

Wrenching the door open, Tommy fled, Liz’s hateful words hammering around on repeat inside his head.

By the time he reached his apartment block he could barely see to drive and he stumbled up the stairs, grateful Mike had whisked Tanya away for a romantic week in Rome. He never wanted anyone to see him like this…

Taking the bottle of JD through to his bedroom, he went back to his phone, staring at Adam’s IG picture of himself and Sauli…

Opening the bottle, Tommy took a long drink, spluttering as it burned his throat. Violent sobs shook his body as he re-lived every spiteful word of his encounter with the woman he’d called his girl…friend…

Half a bottle later he’d found oblivion…


	34. Chapter 34

Daylight hammered a thousand tiny nails into his eyeballs as Tommy forced his eyelids open for the briefest of moments before they slammed shut once more.

Whatever had woken him could fuck off and leave him to die in peace…

Sadly, it appeared the message had failed to get through, as his phone rang again. He left the answer service to pick it up. It rang again…

…and again…

Tommy clamped his hands over his ears, the movement sending shock waves crashing through his head, adding to the cacophony of noise already in attendance.

Cymbals fought with drums, chainsaws revved and whined, banshees wailed and the wrecking ball embarked on a concentrated attack on a single spot above his left eye…maybe he was dead already and this was hell…

… _you’re an atheist…you don’t believe in hell…_

Despite everything, Tommy’s face cracked a grin and he retried the eye opening thing. It hurt…confirmation he definitely wasn’t dead!

It seemed whoever was calling had finally worked it out as the offending tech now lay silent on the bedside cabinet.

Removing his hands from his ears, Tommy heard the sound of a key in the lock and quiet footfalls on the carpet.

It wasn’t Mike or Tanya; they were in Rome…

Burglars in broad daylight?

_Burglars don’t have keys, fuckwit…_

Braving a feeble attempt at moving, Tommy groaned as his head complained bitterly. Then somebody screamed as the bedroom door was pushed open. Vaguely, Tommy realised he was the owner of the scream.

 _Fuck…_ if he was about to be bludgeoned to death in his bed, then he wasn’t going without a fight; despite his weakened condition he’d give ‘em so much crap they’d wish they hadn’t started it…

“Tommy Joe? Thank fuck you’re okay…” Adam’s head appeared round the door, worry clouding his beautiful freckled face.

“Adam?” Tommy struggled to a sitting position despite multiple protests from the noisemakers inside his head. “What’s going on?”

“Have you seen Facebook since last night?” Adam came closer, stepping carefully over the clothes strewn wildly across the floor. His eyes roved over Tommy’s bare chest, the milky white skin standing in stark contrast to the ink of his horror sleeve. Adam controlled his breathing, holding in the appreciative gasp and stomping on the southerly charge of his blood supply. Now was not the time to be lusting over his best friend…

“Not seen anything of _anything_ since hitting the Jack last night. Paying for it now though, got a fucking killer hangover...” Tommy whimpered pitifully.

Not even the cute-as-fuck wrinkling of that gorgeous nose could raise a smile from Adam today.

Tommy’s face paled another shade. What was so awful he couldn’t get a smile?

“You need to see this…” Adam sat on the edge of the bed and pulled out his phone. He stroked a finger softly down the side of Tommy’s cheek “I’m sorry…”

Gulping nervously, Tommy took Adam’s phone and read the vicious and bitter tirade Liz had posted on her FB. She didn’t identify him, but the slagging off of his guitar playing, make-up, hair style and loyalty to his boss above his commitment to his relationship, certainly yelled his name to anyone who had more than one brain cell in their heads.

The hate didn’t stop there.

It was followed by the thinly veiled accusation he was a petulant and mindless alcoholic, a free-loading user, too free with his fists when crossed and a breaker of promises, not to mention hearts, that had the tears stinging his eyes…

…tears of fury…

“ ** _What the fuck?_** That’s horse-shit! She’s off her fucking rocker…I’ve **_never_** …” Tommy’s voice faltered as the implications of these accusations rampaged through his fragile head.

“I know… _we **all** know…_ ” Adam captured Tommy’s free hand and squeezed reassuringly. “No-one believes a word she’s saying…”

The sudden image of their friends and family reading he was a woman beater had Tommy’s stomach churning and he shoved the quilt aside, pushing past Adam to make a bolt for the bathroom. He only just made it as he bent over the toilet, heaving painfully.

Gasping, he clung to the basin and closed his eyes, willing it to be a nightmare he’d wake up from any moment.

Adam stood in the doorway, trying to tear his eyes away from the pale curve of Tommy’s non-existent bare arse and failing miserably as his trousers tightened uncomfortably.

The flush of the toilet kicked his brain back into gear and he retreated to the bedroom to grab the folded blanket from under Tommy’s bed before going back to the bathroom. Tommy was gargling with mouthwash as he shivered.

Wrapping the soft fleece around the trembling form, Adam drew him in for a hug, saying nothing but letting his actions speak for him. After a fleeting moment of resistance, Tommy sank into the embrace as Adam’s arms tightened protectively.

They remained motionless for long minutes.

Adam’s phone ringing from where it’d been abandoned on the bed in Tommy’s urgent dash, broke the silence. “Sorry baby, I need to get this…” Adam’s voice, pitched low, was comforting, drawing a tiny nod of the head.

Without releasing Tommy from his arms, Adam shuffled them back into the bedroom, reaching to grab his phone to check the missed call. Coaxing Tommy to a sitting position, he dropped next to him and curled one arm around his waist, tugging him in close. Tommy sat mute, his brain too shocked to respond.

Adam pressed redial “What’s…” he listened intently as Alla brought him up to date. “Thank fuck for that…yeah, I’m with him now…I will. Thanks…yeah, soon…”

Cutting the call, Adam turned Tommy’s face towards him, tipping his chin up with one finger to press a light kiss to his mouth. “She’s deleted it, and the tweets…Alla was furious with her…”

“Alla?”

“Liz messaged Alla, screaming betrayal and victim. Alla rang me. I rang you – repeatedly, with no reply and I was worried so I came here… Seems you have some very passionate fans too – there’s a mass outpouring of love for you and she’s attracted some serious hate on both sites…”

“The fans know? How’m I gonna face them on tour? I can’t…” Tommy’s panicked face tore at Adam’s heart. “You’ll have to go without me… _I can’t…I’m not_ …”

Adam’s finger pressed to his lips stopped Tommy’s frantic babbling “The fans know the truth, as does everyone in our Glamily…”

“But…”

“No buts! And to quote Rihanna _I want you to stay…_ ” Adam smiled softly “C’mon, you gotta give me that one…and I’ll sing it for you every night…”

“Really?” Tommy’s eyes flickered with an emotion Adam couldn’t identify, but as it brought the ghost of a smile to his lips, he welcomed it with a tight hug.

“Yup; every night _Stay_ ’s on the setlist, it’ll be for you, _my Tommy Joe, my best friend…_ ” In danger of saying too much, Adam forced a grin “besides, who else is gonna keep my sorry arse in line out there?”

“You and me…” Tommy’s face broke into a smile as Adam finished their familiar chant

“For eternity…” Adam pulled back to fish his new pendant out from under his jacket “see? Proof right here!”

Sighing heavily, Tommy cuddled back into Adam’s embrace, tucking his head under Adam’s chin. “Okay…”

Squeezing fiercely, Adam breathed a sigh of relief. One hurdle down…

He hoped Bradford was having similar success with the tour promoters…

This thing had spread like wild fire overnight with fans attacking and counter-attacking. Hennessey were worried about negative publicity affecting the tour…

Tommy didn’t need to know that right now. Burying his nose into the blond mop under his chin, Adam immersed himself in the sensation of having Tommy in his arms and blanked everything else out…

Adam’s phone broke the silence once again. “Yeah? Thanks, okay, see you on the minibus. We’ll both be at my place…” Dropping his phone back onto the bed, Adam reluctantly loosened his hold on Tommy. “C’mon Glitterbaby, cosy though this is, we’ve got a plane to catch, so you need to get yourself prettied for your public…” He winked “although I rather like the blanket-chic look you’re rockin’ right now…” Adam’s voice dropped to a growl “and knowing you’re butt naked under there…”

The grin and single fingered gesture he got in response as Tommy stepped away, was all the confirmation he needed, to know he’d got his Tommy back.

Tommy paused in the doorway “Thank you…” he met Adam’s eyes “for saving me…” Heading back to the bathroom Tommy bit down hard on his lip and held the tears in until he was under the steaming spray, letting the water wash his fears down the drain…

_It was going to be okay…_

_My head still hurts like fuck…_

_He better have the fucking coffee on...”_

Dried, dressed, and on the outside of two mugs of coffee, a couple of aspirin and several rice cakes… _fucking Lambert mind control making him buy all this healthy shit…_ Tommy felt almost human again. A final glance around to check everything was tidy, Tommy picked up his guitar and followed Adam to his car.

Waiting for Bradford and the minibus, Tommy braved a look at his social media. A brief glimpse was enough and he handed his phone across to Adam, nodding at Adam’s offer to tweet for him.

**Thanks for all the support, guys. Love you all #Truth #Integrity See y’all on tour**

Nodding again as Adam held the message up to show him, Tommy watched as he added some emoji and pressed _tweet._ Within seconds he had replies and retweets…

Phones were then put away as they sat on the window seat so they could see when the bus arrived. Adam took Tommy’s hands. “You want to talk about it?”

“It’s like a bad dream now…I didn’t see it coming at all…” Tommy fixed his gaze on their linked fingers “I never gave her any reason to think I wanted to marry her…we were barely fucking dating in the traditional sense…” He took a breath “she said - well actually she screamed it - I’d led her on by having a jewellery box in my pocket, then she hurled the earrings at me across the room and told me to get the fuck out of her house…”

_So that was an abridged version, but no fucking way was he going to share the rest…she went fucking nuts because she worked out I’ve always been in love with you…_

_Yeah, that’d go down like a lead balloon!_

Tommy flashed a wry smile “I didn’t even get to have any dinner!”

Adam squeezed his hands “me neither…” the low whisper had Tommy fighting off the images of Adam leading his boyfriend to the bedroom as soon as they’d posted their Valentine’s picture.

He forced a chuckle “but you did get a Finnish dish…”

“He wasn’t here…” Adam’s voice hitched “I posted that picture because the fans wanted to know what we were doing and were sending us all this love…” He lifted Tommy’s hands to his lips to kiss his knuckles softly. “Sauli’s in Finland at the _Dancing on Ice_ pre-show training camp. Complete social media blackout in force. That picture was from last week the night before he went… He’s going to miss the whole tour.”

“You never said anything…if I’d known…” Tommy stopped before he blabbed too much.

“So much for _happy_ Valentine’s…” Adam broke off as Tommy’s phone blasted _Fever_ and he scrabbled in his pocket to drag it out.

“Yep! We’re ready, see you in ten…” He cut the call “Braffy. They’re picking up Terrance and Johnny first, then us…”

Adam raised an eyebrow. “Is that a live recording?”

Tommy nodded, heat flooding his cheeks.

“Can I hear it again?”

Tommy’s blush intensified as he replayed his ringtone. Closing his eyes, he re-lived those precious extra seconds of Adam’s lips on his, as he stole a whole line of lyric...

Adam squeezed their joined hands “London?”

“Yes”    

“That was my favourite of them all...”

Tommy looked up, stunned, to see that familiar mix of heat and hunger blazing out of Adam’s eyes. He blinked shyly “mine too…”

They were saved from further comment by the arrival of the minibus.

Bags and guitar in hand, they headed for the elevator...

The bus echoed to the sound of lively chatter and catching up with Terrance and Johnny.

Tommy was eternally grateful no-one mentioned Liz…

The fifteen hour flight was spent sleeping, discussing the upcoming tour dates and the enthusiasm shown by the Asian fans already, everyone gathering in the tiny first class lounge area. Dance sequences were planned and a few moves demonstrated, much to the amusement of the cabin crew.

As the time lengthened out, the group ambled back to their own seats to catch a film, read a book or nap. Tommy watched Adam’s face as their leader leant back and closed his eyes, retreating into his own world. Noting the tiny frown and hunched set of Adam’s shoulders, Tommy could see something was bothering him, something hidden behind the façade of smiles and laughter…

Reaching for Adam’s hand, Tommy slotted their fingers together, rubbing his thumb lightly over Adam’s skin.

“That’s nice, Sau…” Adam huffed softly “These long flights…”

Tommy froze. His embittered butterflies kicked viciously at his insides… _Sauli…of course he fucking wants it to be Sauli…_

Adam opened his eyes “…you stopped!” A rare hint of pink coloured Adam’s cheeks as he gazed at Tommy. He tightened his hold on Tommy’s fingers as Tommy tried to pull them away. “I’m sorry…”

Leaving his hand captive, Tommy looked away, not wanting Adam to see how much the simple slip had stung.

Adam’s other hand tipped Tommy’s face back towards him “I’m sorry…truly…” he pressed a brief chaste kiss to Tommy’s lips “it’s just…Sauli does that too and it helps me relax…”

Feigning nonchalance, Tommy managed a shrug. “’s fine, Babyboy, just glad it helps…”

Adam’s radiant smile melted away the residual hurt and they both leant back in their seats, Tommy once again stroking Adam’s hand. Neither spoke, content to simply be. At some point they fell asleep as the 747 roared on towards Seoul…

It was all stations go from the moment they touched down, and they fell back into the familiar routine of tour life as if it was only yesterday they’d stopped. 

Rehearsal went well, with no changes to the planned setlist and only minor adjustments to the arrangements. Terrance and Johnny had them in fits of laughter at their antics, especially some of the more suggestive moves they’d planned for Fever. Strangely, Tommy didn’t feel cheated out of the usual attention in this song… _his and Adam’s song…_

Either he was getting mellow in his old age or the addition of _Stay_ to his personal dedication song library was enough to smooth any ruffled feathers…

Either way, the grin appeared as he lifted the Fender strap over his shoulder and remained in place long after they’d finished.

What little was left of the afternoon was spent seeing off the jetlag in readiness for their dinner in the revolving restaurant up the N Seoul Tower. With stupendous views out over the sprawling metropolis and magnificent mountains in the distance, it was an experience not to be missed.  

Tommy clung tightly to Adam’s hand from the moment they left the ground in the elevator, stopping off on the lower level to visit the Teddy Bear museum and gift shop. Adam bought Sauli a running bear, Tommy bought one with an ice cream for Riff and was debating over a rather impressive guitarist for himself when Adam snatched it from him, chuckled at his mock-outraged expression and headed for the checkout before Tommy could stop him.

Bears wrapped and boxed, they wandered around the rest of the Plaza before continuing their upwards journey. Tommy snickered when Adam sidled into the café to grab a handful of paper napkins adorned with a Hello Kitty Café logo, tucking them carefully inside the bag with his bears. The mood was one of fondness and friendship as the happy group continued their ascent to the top.

Dinner was a most enjoyable affair, with excellent food, amazing company, all set against the breath-taking backdrop of Seoul at night… Careful not to overdo the alcohol following his mammoth session after the events of Valentine’s Day, Tommy was deliciously mellow, cuddling into Adam one side and Terrance on the other.

A tipsy Tommy was an affectionate kitty…

They tumbled into their beds before midnight, all asleep within minutes thanks to the combined effects of full tummies, variations of percentage proof in their bloodstream, jetlag and crossing multiple time zones.

Concert day rushed past in a whirl of press and magazine interviews and promotions; seemingly only minutes until soundcheck, a quick shower and change and they were preparing to go out on stage.

Black and yellow chevrons on huge fabric panels hung down from above the stage to form a massive canopy, with Adam’s mic stand modelling a matching black and yellow stripe, and the rug in the middle of the floor completing the _Trespassing_ themed look. The roar of the crowd lit the touch paper and they were buzzing as they took their places, ready to play, the decibel level breaking the sound barrier as Adam launched into the first song…

The audience alternately sang along and screamed at full volume, the love and energy rolling off them in waves as they gave themselves to the moment, a sea of black and yellow glow sticks and arm cuffs waving energetically in time to the beat.

Tommy’s heart soared as Adam slayed it the length and breadth of the stage… _he’d forgotten just how fucking awesome Adam in action was…_ Even Adam’s soft smile as he’d slipped into his silver-grey spiked DIVAS suit jacket, sharing in a whisper that if Sauli couldn’t be here, then at least he was with them in spirit through the jacket he’d altered, couldn’t dampen Tommy’s spirits…

They were together, on stage…and the world rocked right now.

As Adam vanished into the wings at the end of _Pop that Lock_ for the first of his costume changes, the band threw themselves into a fun jam session, with Johnny and Terrance tumbling cartwheels and somersaults to enthusiastic applause from the crowd… _this life was fucking awesome…_

An increase in the volume of applause announced Adam’s return to the stage, now clad in butt-hugging jeans, boots and a simple tee with anatomical heart motif, finished off with his trademark, black, fingerless gloves. A quick glance at each of them and they moved into the initial bars of _Whataya want from me,_ the first of the acoustic part of the set.

Some serious swooning ensued when Adam crouched down at the edge of the stage, singing to the lucky fans in the front row. Catching the spellbound looks on their faces, Tommy’s grin widened… _he knew just how they felt…I fucking love this man…_

With a final radiant smile at the fans, Adam moved back to the centre of the stage, perched on his stool and sang the fuck out of _Chokehold_ and _Broken English_ before turning to wink at Tommy as he played the opening notes of _Stay…_

_…he’s singing for me…_

Tommy zoned out, losing himself completely in Adam’s voice and the music they were creating together…

The live debut of _Underneath_ was followed by _Outlaws,_ with the alternative reggae ending signalling a move into the final third of the setlist. The second band jam _Kickin’ In_ gave Adam time to slip into Tommy’s favourite costume of this mini tour – aside from the Blonds _Trespassing_ jacket for the encore, of course.

Black top hat… _Adam in any kind of hat…so fucking sexy…_ black silky vest that rippled with every movement of his body, black waistcoat- unbuttoned; long fringed, black leather, pull-on sleeves, fingerless gloves, his much-loved, lace-up crotch, leather trousers and… _fuck it Lambert, you want me to explode in my pants…_

_…one of his all time top kinks…Adam’s bare feet…_

_…freckled feet…_

_...and black painted toe nails…_

_…fuck…_

Tommy’s fingers played the notes _For your entertainment_ automatically, his brain a molten mess as his memory replayed the video shoot, a whimper escaping at the hip rolls as they coincided with the line… _do you like what you see?_

_…fuck, yeah…_

The arched eyebrow and twinkle in Adam’s eyes as he noted Tommy’s glazed expression had him moving closer into Tommy’s space to brush up hard against him… _in every sense of the word…_

There was no way Tommy could take that kind of action in silence, letting out a wanton moan…

The flirty grin as Adam danced away left Tommy deliriously happy, with burning red cheeks and a throbbing boner in his pants…

 _Fever_ was followed by _Dragon Attack,_ another free-spirited jam of _Free your mind_ as Adam bounced around the stage, before sliding into the final song _Shady._ Band introductions were full of fun and fondness, every member of the band, and dancers, getting their own moment to shine as always.

Tommy rocked his solo, Adam’s nodded approval leaving a tingling warmth buzzing through his veins, a feeling which intensified as Adam bumped his shoulder affectionately before moving on to introduce Brian.

Their _Trespassing_ encore brought the house down, Adam’s fringed sleeves and waistcoat swapped for the much loved Blonds jacket and Terrance and Johnny donning black and yellow vests and massive yellow wigs.

The cheers were still ringing in their ears as they scurried back to their dressing rooms for a swift change of clothes and straight to the airport for a quick two hour flight hop to Tokyo. Touchdown and a rapid escort through the arrivals hall, waving to the stalwart fans who’d waited up to welcome them, Bradford handed out room keys to the weary travellers just after three and they trooped off to their beds.

Band breakfast later that morning had a sense of homecoming about it, without a doubt, Tokyo one of their favourite cities to perform – and explore – in. Having the luxury of a whole day to play with, they discussed their plans…

Adam’s enthusiastic announcement he was taking Tommy for the shopping trip of the year had Tommy rolling his eyes and everyone else laughing, knowing their polar opposite opinions on the joys of browsing! However, if shopping made Adam happy, then, by default, it made Tommy happy…so, a win:win all round!

“Good luck, Teebie!” Ashley dropped a gentle kiss to his forehead. “I’ll have the spa treatments on standby for when you get back…” She chuckled as Adam stuck his tongue out at her. “Just looking out for my bandmate – can’t have the Bossman breaking him before Tokyo gets to hear him play…”

Catching Tommy’s eye, she winked, the double meaning not lost on him. Standing with an exaggerated sigh, he stretched, the hem of his Hendrix tee riding up to give a glimpse of milky white skin and trail of dark hair above low riding jeans.

Adam caught his breath, covering his gasp with an indignant snort.

With plans to reunite for dinner, they all went their separate ways…

After tucking their hair under plain baseball caps and donning leather jackets and dark glasses, Tommy and Adam headed out.

“You still want to do this, Babyboy?”

“Definitely…you?”

“Yep!”

“D’you know what you want yet?”

Tommy’s grin widened and he patted his pocket “drawn for me by Sutan…” he chuckled “and before you ask, nope, it’s a secret!”

“Sneaky bitch!”

“Hahaha, Raja said you’d say that!” Tommy shoved Adam playfully as they walked briskly towards Shibuya.

On arrival at 56 Tattoo they were greeted by a smiling Horimasa who bowed before folding Adam into a warm hug. “…hisashiburi…” He released his hold on Adam and shook hands with Tommy “it has been too long, my friends…” Leading them straight through to the inking area, he handed their jackets to the same beautiful butterfly-inked woman as before “we are all ready for you both…”

Adam sat back in his chair, Horimasa immediately applying a cleansing solution to the top half of his right arm. Glancing across at Tommy, Adam arched an eyebrow as Tommy lay down on his allocated table and, after handing over his design to Anessa, unbuttoned his jeans.

Catching Adam’s eye, Tommy winked “I promise to show you as soon as it’s done…” He wriggled out of his jeans, shoving them down to his knees. Anessa moved around Tommy’s body, unintentionally blocking Adam’s view as she applied the same cleansing solution to Tommy’s left hip.

For some considerable time there was nothing but the quiet buzz of the tattoo machines as both artists carefully outlined their designs. Tommy gritted his teeth as the needles traced over his hip bone, the lack of flesh on that part of the human body upping the pain levels considerably. Anessa smiled at him “it will be worth it; I make you a beautiful design for him…” Her soft whisper had Tommy’s cheeks flushing as her eyes flicked towards Adam, relaxed back in his chair with his eyes closed.

“We’re not…he’s…” The mouthed words, with no sound, drew a gentle chuckle from his inker.

“You are safe with me, Mr Tommy; I will not tell!” Anessa winked and continued her work on the flames…

They stopped for a short break after an hour, Tommy’s chosen image now fully outlined, with Adam’s far more intricate and extended design still needing much more before the details could be embellished.

Sipping their tea, the four talked easily about the upcoming concerts, those conversations continuing once they returned to their chairs as their artwork grew.

After three hours, Tommy’s was complete and he grinned happily at the end result; the perfectly presented Fender surrounded with living flames as the instrument was born of fire. It was exactly as he’d imagined it – and well worth the extra pain!

Anessa giggled prettily as he hugged her tightly, spinning her around before landing her back on her feet. “He will love it, yes?”

“I hope so…” Tommy whispered against her ear “thank you, it’s perfect.”

Adam craned his neck to see around Horimasa, without moving his arm. Disappointment flared in his eyes as Tommy appeared, fully clothed, beside him. “Oh!”

Tommy leant in, emboldened with pain-fighting endorphins, to breathe against Adam’s neck “You can check it out later…just us…” he snickered at the involuntary moan escaping Adam’s lips “and you realise you’ll have to undress me…”

Dancing away before Adam had a chance to respond, Tommy poured some fresh tea from the pot Anessa had made and returned to Adam’s side with a cup for them both. With their tea consumed and the cups returned, Tommy snapped a quick picture of the work in action for posting later. Finally, sat by Adam’s side, Tommy linked their fingers together and they talked quietly as Horimasa continued his creation of the work of art on Adam’s flesh.

Some six and a half hours after their arrival, it was done. Adam’s face lit up as he examined the finished design. He posed, ginning, for Tommy to take pictures, before posting them to Adam’s IG account as Adam tweeted the link.

**It represents my Astrological Birth Chart, along with Pagan, Buddhist, and Greco- Roman Archetypes related to balance and the life cycle.**

Adding a close-up photo, he tweeted a second link **My chart is AQUARIUS Sun, Libra Rising, Aries Moon. All three are represented #NewInk**

With a final hug and a promise to see them and Mina tomorrow for their VIP tickets, Adam and Tommy took their leave of Horimasa and headed back to the hotel to grab some late lunch.

One shared platter of black bean beef and noodles later, they were ready to snooze. Adam dumped the tray outside the door, added the _Do Not Disturb_ and closed it with a purposeful clunk.

“Time to show me what you got, Tommy Joe…”

Tommy’s stomach roared into full spin mode at the heat in Adam’s eyes and the low growled words, his fingers trembling as he fumbled with his belt buckle. Adam’s hand in his, leading him over to the bed, sent a wave of warmth washing through his veins and he sank down onto the quilt as his knees gave way, laying back at Adam’s gentle push.

The bed dipped as Adam crawled beside him. “Can I?”

The question took Tommy by surprise and he nodded, biting his lip to prevent a needy whimper escaping as Adam’s fingers brushed his flesh.

Buckle and button defeated, Adam’s attention moved to tugging down the zipper, before peeling the denim off Tommy’s skinny hips. With his jeans bunched around his ankles, kept in place by his boots, Tommy melted under the hungry gaze as Adam’s eyes swept his exposed skin.

“You’re so beautiful…” the words so softly spoken, Tommy barely heard them.

Adam’s hands moved to the waistband of Tommy’s underwear, tracing beneath it with a feather-light touch to set goose bumps running riot over Tommy’s body. Both hitched a breath as the left hand side was pulled down carefully to reveal his tattoo in its full glory.

Time hung suspended as Adam traced the outline of the flames, leaning down to brush the freshly inked skin with his lips, pressing the lightest of kisses to every inch of the design.

Tommy was a molten heap of desire, incapable of coherent thought, his mind lost completely with his focus narrowed to just the feel of Adam’s hands and Adam’s lips on his heated flesh.

They stared at each other, neither wanting to break the moment…

It was with evident regret, Adam dragged his gaze away, moving away from Tommy to leave him shivering as he immediately missed the warmth of the other man’s body.

Left alone in the bedroom as Adam disappeared into the bathroom, Tommy yanked his jeans back up and was fully dressed when Adam returned. Standing, he plastered a smile on his face and pressed a kiss to Adam’s cheek. “Thank you for today, Babyboy. ‘m gonna go crash for an hour. Catch up later?”

He left quickly before he could change his mind.

Band dinner was full of fun and frivolity, discussion and inspection of Adam’s tattoo and the massive reaction from the fans taking most of the evening. Fresh from their afternoon rest, neither Adam nor Tommy were tired when the others headed for their beds. Draping an arm around Tommy’s shoulders in a manner reminiscent of their GNT days, Adam nipped at his earlobe “wanna watch a movie with me?” he hesitated briefly “like we used to…”

“Hell, yeah!” Tommy’s emphatic agreement set Adam laughing and they made a merry pair as they hit the elevator for the twenty-fourth floor and Adam’s suite.

Adam ordered coffee and popcorn whilst Tommy scrolled through the choices on offer, a fond smile lighting his face as he loaded _Moulin Rouge…_

_…just like the old days…before…_

The opening credits rolled as Adam jumped up onto the bed, lifting his arm for Tommy to snuggle underneath. They fitted together like it was yesterday, the feel warm and familiar…

Ewan McGregor had barely typed his first words of wisdom “ _The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn Is Just To Love And Be Loved In Return_ " when Adam’s phone beeped. Without releasing his hold on Tommy, Adam tugged it out of his pocket, half-glancing at the message as he watched the film get underway.

Reading the message, he sat up, a massive grin spreading across his face. “Sauli’s out of blackout camp. He wants to skype…”

_Fuck…of course it was too fucking good to be true…_

Pushing off the bed, Tommy shoved his feet back into his boots. “You go catch up, Babyboy and I’ll see you in the morning. Give him my love… _”_

_Fuck…_

Adam didn’t protest, folded Tommy into a brief hug and was logging onto his laptop as Tommy shut the door behind him.

Back in his own room, Tommy crawled into bed and re-lived the sensation of Adam’s lips against his skin, working his frustration out with an energetic session with his right hand.  Sated, but lonely, he fell asleep.

There was no denying the extra spring in Adam’s step the next morning, or the dancing twinkle in his eyes as he described Sauli’s arduous pre-training for the _Dancing on Ice_ competition.

Despite the twisting of the knife in his gut, Tommy couldn’t stay despondent for long; a happy Adam was an exceptionally beautiful Adam… _sap or not, I fucking love this man…_

The days passed swiftly, the concerts a resounding success and the press reviews highly favourable… The _We are Glamily_ tour was on track…

After Tokyo, night three, Bradford herded them onto the overnight express train to Kanazawa. They had one night here, then Nagaya, with their final show in Japan in Osaka. After that, Terrance’s pal had invited them to join him on their chartered yacht for a couple of days. Sauli had arranged to grab those same two days as a break from his training. Adam had been talking about it since the second night…

When Adam appeared at the end of breakfast in Kanazawa, there was obviously something wrong. He hid it behind his smile but Tommy _knew_ him so well…every tiny flinch or grimace gave away his inner turmoil.

As Bradford called their morning briefing into session, Adam dropped into a chair on the opposite side of the table, steadfastly ignoring Tommy’s concerned gaze by studying his nails intently. With notices and timings duly noted all round, Adam was out of the door as soon as Bradford had lowered his clipboard.

The next time Tommy saw him, Adam was surrounded by media for interviews and press photos. As always, he looked fantastic and his smile as dazzling as ever, but only Tommy saw his smile never reached his eyes…

Looking back over the past few days, Tommy tried to identify a source of Adam’s behaviour, concluding, rather frustratingly, that he didn’t have a fucking clue. Everything appeared to be on track as far as the tour was going – sales were up; most venues being sold-out capacity audiences, reviews were singing Adam’s praises… _hahaha yeah, get that pun…_ the promoters were reportedly working on a bonus scheme if this pattern continued until the finale in Helsinki…

Sauli was out of social blackout, and, although he was still in Finland training, he had the two day break to look forward to next week when the pair would be reunited.

All things considered, life should be fucking awesome…

Instead, the sadness in Adam’s eyes made Tommy want to cry and he ached to charge over and fold the man he loved into his arms so he could kiss better whatever was hurting him.

Finally, Adam looked up to meet Tommy’s gaze during one of the change over breaks between interviews. As Tommy took a step towards him, Adam’s phone rang and he leapt on it, answering almost tentatively, before stepping away, talking urgently as he vanished from sight.

Sighing, Tommy retreated to his perch on the window seat.

“Coffee?” Bradford ambled across, two steaming mugs in his hands.

“Thanks, dude!” Tommy took a gulp and shuffled over, making room for Bradford to sit down.

“Mad morning! It seemed such a good idea to do all the magazines…” Bradford stretched “only another three and then we’re done. Adam’s a real pro at this, but even he’s getting tired of the same questions over and over…”

Tommy raised an eyebrow “you think he’s tired?”

“Oh he’s not showing it…or saying anything, but he just seems a bit less animated than usual…” Braffy pondered his own words “but I’m most likely imagining it.

“Yeah, probably…” Tommy tucked Bradford’s observations away with his own, ready for the time he actually got to sit down again with Adam alone… _which hadn’t happened since the day they’d had their ink done…_

Adam reappeared and headed straight for the hospitality bar, requesting a throatcoat tea, which he took back to his interview chair. If he’d looked a little off colour before, now he seemed totally dejected…smaller somehow…

…vulnerable…

Nodding across to where Tommy and Bradford were sitting, he called the next interviewer over, prompting a swift relocation from Bradford, back to Adam’s side.

“We’ll talk…later…guitar lesson…” Braffy’s muttered words underlined all of Tommy’s fears as their tour manager walked away.

With time on his hands, Tommy dived into a mass of emails; Brad, Sutan and Neil, touching base with each and concealing requests for information within seemingly innocent, friendly messages.

Next, he emailed Sauli, asking about his training and the presence of the cameras. Not entirely sure why, he didn’t ask him about the upcoming trip.

Replies from Brad, Sutan and Neil revealed nothing of concern, either current or historical in terms of behaviour. “Just enjoy the ride!” There wasn’t much Tommy could reply to that!

Sauli’s reply, just on packing up time, shed the light and all became clear. Sauli wasn’t going on the boys-only yachting break. Luukas had arranged a magazine interview about Sauli’s other TV show role as guest host chef. “I have spoken with Adam this morning and he is not so happy with me. I too, am disappointed to miss the trip but I must do the work when it is here. Please be taking care of Adam for me and make sure he is having some fun. Thank you, minun ystavani. I will be seeing you soon.”

Tapping a swift reply, Tommy shoved his phone away and bounded after Adam as he headed out of the room.

“You wanna do something, Babyboy? We could get some air or grab a film or a quick trip to the shops…”

Adam’s face broke into a fond smile and he tugged Tommy into his arms, tucking the blond mop of hair under his chin “If you’re offering to come shopping with me, I know you’ve spoken to Sauli! You hate shopping!”

“But you love it, and I love you, so shopping is my new best friend…” The words spilled out of Tommy’s mouth before he had a chance to stop them, swooning as his senses were overcome with all things _Adam._  

_Fuckfuckfuck…_

“Love you too, Tommy Joe.” Adam hugged him hard before pulling back and tipping Tommy’s face up to his own. “I’m fine, a bit disappointed, but I’m going to catch up on some sleep and I’ll be back to play later…and I promise to take you up on your offer to go shopping…” He dropped a light kiss to Tommy’s mouth and released him, moving away towards the elevator without looking back.

Bradford appeared beside Tommy and draped his arm around Tommy’s shoulders as they watched Adam vanish into the elevator. “You okay?”

“Yeah…”

“Liar! Let’s go let it out in the practice room. I need to let off some steam after all those bloody media prima donnas…honestly, some of the questions they asked…how Adam doesn’t tell them to mind their own fucking business…”

“Hahaha” Tommy threw his head back and laughed at the rare sight of a frustrated and growling Bradford, usually so calm and contained. Punching him lightly on his chest, he ducked away, giggling "c'mon then, we’ll play duelling banjos…”

By the time soundcheck was upon them, peace and tranquillity were restored all around. Adam was back to his perky self and Braffy had slayed out his aggression in a fun jam session.

They rocked the stage that night, with Adam’s performance of _Stay_ his best yet…haunting and beautiful… _and for me…_

Tumbling into bed, Tommy’s happy grin lit the darkness. He fucking loved his life.

Another train journey to Nagoya for another cracking show, then on to Osaka for their final stop in Japan. Memories of their previous visit and Sauli’s surprise appearance ran through Tommy’s head as they booked into their hotel. Adam’s tiny smile and gentle kiss to his cheek said he was remembering the same thing.

Memories aside, Osaka was an amazing place to explore and Adam finally managed to take Tommy shopping, the pair returning with a variety of new clothes, boots and sunglasses after a fun couple of hours.

Osaka was an awesome gig. Adam wore his new white loafers with his jeans and heart tee for the acoustic set. Tommy slayed his solo in _Broken English_ , content their connection had returned. They’d switched the order slightly, with _Chokehold_ kicking off the middle section and _Whataya want from me_ following Sauli’s song. Adam’s ear wigs failed but far from upsetting the show, it gave the whole thing an air of intimacy.

Adam’s performance of _Stay_ gave Tommy goose bumps, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end as their eyes met...

The interactions with the audience were typical Adam in top form and they laughed their heads off at his antics with the black and yellow striped banana. The love flowing from the Osaka audience was a living thing, lifting them to another level. Adam shone, pure joy radiating as he owned the stage…

With the last bars of _Trespassing_ done, cheers lifted the roof when they took their final bows and scampered off the stage, hot, sweaty and feeling on top of the fucking world.

Japan rocked…

Next morning saw Tommy, Ashley and Bradford waving the rest of their band mates and Adam off for their mini break. Hugging Adam tightly, Tommy burrowed his face into Adam’s neck, breathing in that enticing aroma that was simply _Adam,_ before squeezing his arse and stepping back. With instructions to have a fucking good time ringing in their ears, the holiday-makers piled into the car for the short trip to the airport.

For Tommy and his companions the days raced by, full of relaxing and exploring the city, fine dining and some amazing jam sessions with the three of them indulging in a mix of blues, funk, rock and some surprisingly good jazz.

All too soon, they were packed and on their way to Shanghai, with the others due to arrive later that evening. The reunion dinner was a buoyant and laughter filled occasion, with stories and pictures from both groups. It was well into the new day before they hit their beds.

The Shanghai concert saw renewed energy and a new opening outfit, Adam rocking the stunning shimmering blue suit he’d bought in Japan. The audience lapped up the extended sing-a-long in _Fever_ and, as a reward, were treated to an extra encore as Adam killed a hip thrusting and sex-on-legs version of _Strut_ before closing with _Trespassing._

A full band and dancers group hug on stage broke the sound barrier for audience approval.

The high continued in Hong Kong, Singapore, Jakarta, Minsk and Moscow, the reception from every crowd vibrant and uplifting. The setlist saw a minor shuffle starting in Hong Kong with _Time for Miracles_ , a major hit in Hong Kong, replacing _Stay_ and _Underneath_ and seeing _Strut_ added to the scheduled encore. Just enough changes to keep it fresh…

Bundling off the bus to board another train, this time headed for Kiev, they were a loud and noisy group, a grinning Bradford handing each of his charges a take-out cup of coffee and their favourite après-show snack, before climbing on board after them.

Five star luxury on a high speed train was something they could get used to…

The first murmurings of potential trouble in St Petersburg had surfaced the previous week, with claims Adam promoted an illegal and immoral gay lifestyle, splashed over the papers as the Government anti-gay propaganda gathered momentum.

Bradford kept a close watch on the news and tapped sources in the Embassy for advice.

Adam’s official statement, stating the only life style he was promoting was one of peace and love and music, and all were welcome to join…

Nodding approvingly, Bradford, praised Adam’s diplomatic status and continued to monitor the news reports.

Behind the scenes, Tommy swapped messages with Sauli, arranging some moral support for Adam in the shape of the boyfriend he hadn’t seen in the flesh for more than a month.

In the meantime, they’d had an enthusiastic welcome at Kiev central station and now, the next morning, were gathered in Adam’s suite for the daily briefing.

After Braffy’s usual run through of key times and activities, they discussed some new amendments to the setlist. _Time for miracles_ was removed and replaced with the Tears for Fears classic _Shout,_ with _Is this Love_ following _Outlaws_ to really kick in that reggae vibe. _Strut_ made way for a GNT favourite _Music Again_ as the first song in the double encore.

Scribbling the last of the changes in his notebook, Tommy closed it and looked around at the happy band of people he loved, his family. As the room phone rang, Adam caught his eye and winked, turning his attention to the concierge. Thanking the man, he hung up.

“Ash, some delivery or something for you down at reception…”

Surprise registering on her pretty face, Ashley headed across the room towards the door.  

Conversation moved on to Adam’s memories of playing to a quarter of a million people in the square with Queen.

“It was fucking surreal…Elton John as our opening act…” Adam laughed, his face alight “and me out there with Bri and Roger…I mean, _Rock Royalty_ …” his voice hushed “I was so terrified I’d fuck it up!”

“But the new boy did good, or at least worthy of a B+” Tommy shrieked as Adam flung himself onto the bed where Tommy was stretched out, his wicked tickle hands finding all those sensitive areas to leave Tommy a  giggling, helpless heap as the others laughed at their antics.

“Let me in, guys”

“My cue to escape…” Scrabbling off the bed and tugging his dishevelled clothing back into place, Tommy opened the door at Ashley’s call.  “Awww, Ash they’re beautiful!” He stood aside to let her pass with the massive bouquet of red, white and pink roses, cleverly arranged in their wrapping with an integral water reservoir so there was no need to find a vase.

Somewhere behind the mass of flowers, Ashley was grinning happily. “Sam remembered our anniversary…” She inhaled the sweet fragrance of the flowers before setting them down on the table, a dreamy smile on her face “He’s so romantic sometimes...”

“Women and their love of romance! Flowers’ll get ‘em everytime!” Rick laughed and winked.

Ashley stuck her tongue out at him. “And you’ve never sent flowers?”

“’course I’ve sent them…to my mother and sister and my aunt…” he grinned “…and there was this one chick I really had a thing for…

“…why is it seen as a _woman_ thing?” Ashley tilted her head, a determined gleam in her eye suggesting she was going to see this particular thread of conversation through to the end! “Have none of you guys ever been sent flowers?”

“My mom sent me flowers when I first got the job with Adam…” Tommy smiled at the memory as he flopped down beside Adam on the sofa “it was full of these bright yellow and mango coloured lily things with burgundy tulips…” he sighed wistfully.

Ash nudged his shoulder playfully “you’re such a softie Teebie!” Her voice resonated with fondness.

“I hadn’t finished!” Tommy chuckled “the flowers were nice, but what I really appreciated was the bottle of Jack she sent with them! It was one of those gift combo kinda things! Very thoughtful, but no-one’s ever sent me romantic flowers… ”

Adam leant in closer to murmur against Tommy’s ear “If you were _my_ boyfriend I’d shower you in red roses so you always knew you were loved and loved some more!”

He relaxed back on the sofa, tugging a blushing Tommy with him to wrap him into a tight hug.

Catching the whisper, Ashley grinned before turning her attention to the other men who were hotly debating the type of flowers they’d send to another man, the conversation showing definite signs of sinking into the obscene as they moved on to consider the size of the cactus they’d send…

“Okay, I think we’ve heard _quite_ enough of that!” She laughed “I want everyone to send flowers to someone before we go home – _nice_ flowers if you please! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a thank you phone call to make…”

Standing, she scooped up her bouquet and walked elegantly to the door, the sway of her hips conjuring memories of emerald green underwear as Tommy and Adam swapped glances. They grinned and settled back as the conversation moved on to worst and best gifts ever received…

Tommy zoned out when Johnny began describing a workbench he’d had for Christmas, his mind replaying Adam’s hushed words… _impassioned words…_ Tommy allowed himself to dream…

He completely missed the rest of the conversation, only rejoining the here and now when everyone moved to leave. Terrance hauled Tommy to his feet and steered him out to the elevator. Somewhat bemused, Tommy blinked when they stopped outside his door.

Terrance and Johnny exchanged glances, grinning as Tommy used his key card to open the door. Propelling him over the threshold, Ter sorted out hat, coat and gloves, leaving Johnny to locate more suitable footwear for the snow.

Finally catching on Tommy looked horrified. “We’re going out there? It’s like, fucking sub-zero!”

Checking his phone, Terrance chuckled “minus four today…perfect for sight seeing…”

Stunned into silence, Tommy dressed obediently and followed… _fuck…ice and snow…_

The rest of the day passed in a blur of frozen breath and rosy cheeks, snowballs – not a pun in the slightest, although… – and good humour.

Soundcheck was followed by a bite to eat, back to the hotel for a shower and change and what felt like mere seconds later, they were taking their places as the crowd screamed and cheered.

The energy from the audience was incredible, a mass of black and yellow clothing, banners and glow sticks as they sang along with every word of _If I had you._

A wall of sound rattled the windows as Adam stripped Terrance and Johnny of their vests for _Naked Love,_ before moving over to sing to Tommy, screams of delight as he moved his hand to Tommy’s shoulder and leant in closer… _with you, my love…_ The lyrics and radiant smile set Tommy’s butterflies buzzing as he threw himself into his playing…

Adam was on fire tonight, covering the entire length and breadth of the stage, throwing frequent delighted grins towards Tommy as he rocked his head to the beat. _Cuckoo_ was crazy, the additional dance moves wild and playful and when Adam bent backwards at the final notes, arching his back, Tommy gulped at the stretch of his neck…the desire to kiss and nibble his way down that enticing throat sending shockwaves to corpuscle control as his blood supply fled southwards.

Everything was perfect, Tommy’s senses on hyper alert with multiple looks, touches and whispered comments as they passed each other. By the time Adam introduced his band, Tommy was a whimpering mess of sappiness, beaming happily as he adjusted his amp settings while Adam teased him gently for looking sexy as sin.

Their connection was back, stronger than ever.

 _Music Again,_ the first of the encore songs was a favourite of Tommy’s from their GNT days and he let it go in the solo, making his Fender sing.

His heart stopped when Adam suddenly showered him rose petals, the look in his eyes, pure emotion…

Adam’s words from earlier replayed through Tommy’s mind… _I’d shower you in roses…_ and he lost himself in the impossible dream _…_


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, apologies for the delay in posting - been a bit manic this past week!  
> This is a bumper double-length chapter and it is dedicated to you all with love and thanks for reading and commenting.  
> Happy holidays to you all <3

The rest of the night was a blur; drinks with the band, massive amounts of good humoured teasing and suggestive comments which Tommy had just grinned at happily, before they split to their own rooms.

Still floating on an emotional high, Tommy didn’t even flinch when Adam pecked him lightly on the lips and said an early goodnight, explaining he was going to skype with Sauli… _he showered **me** with roses…_

_I fucking love this man…_

Falling into his bed, Tommy re-lived that moment on stage…

Weak sunlight filtering through the gap in the curtains welcomed him to the new day. Warm and cosy, Tommy stretched luxuriously as he opened his eyes. Blinking, his eyes widened at the rose-petal-strewn duvet. Almost the same moment he winced as his underwear tugged uncomfortably at his skin.

The memories rushed his brain, blood charging south as he remembered pretending to retie his creeper laces so he could scoop up the petals before leaving the stage. Later, sliding under the covers back in his room, after scattering most of the petals on the bed with the few remaining destined for some intimate contact alongside his right hand…

Attempting to move his legs once more, he rather regretted falling into sated sleep without cleaning up.

Very carefully, he limped to the shower and climbed under the steaming spray to peel away his underwear with the aid of some shower gel. It was inevitable the sight of those red petals washing down his legs, along with the touch of his hands on his sensitive flesh, would reawaken desire. Closing his eyes, he leant back against the cubicle wall as his grip tightened…

Long minutes later he tottered back to flop on top of his bed, skin glistening wetly and nerve endings tingling from head to toe. 

Finally dried and dressed, he ventured down to the dining room to join the others. Rick and Terrance had yet to make an appearance, but everyone else was there and at various stages of breakfast.

Dropping into an empty chair next to Bradford, Tommy nodded his thanks as a waiter filled his coffee mug. He took a mouthful of the scalding drink before following Braffy to the buffet layout, ending up at the omelette counter where Adam joined him moments later.

Tommy’s hand dived into his pocket to check he still had a couple of the rose petals, smiling happily as Adam hugged him briefly, a swift brush of his lips to Tommy’s cheek to accompany the murmured “good morning…” Melting instinctively into Adam’s arms, Tommy clung on for a second or two longer than was socially acceptable, the rich chuckle against his ear sending goose bumps chasing over his skin as he stepped back.

Studying Adam from behind his hair, Tommy concluded the early night had reduced the shadows under Adam’s eyes, and although there was still a carefully hidden _something troubling him_ , he looked more his usual self today.

Tommy pondered the _something_ , rejecting theory after increasingly wild theory until Adam nudged him playfully “Earth to Tommy Joe!”

The twinkle in Adam’s eye sent excited messages through corpuscle control and a flare of heat to Tommy’s cheeks as Adam winked at the server “I think he’s back with us now!”

With their completed orders duly handed over, they made their way back to the table.

“So…” Adam took a bite of his omelette and moaned sinfully “oh, this is _divine_ …” A second moan accompanied another mouthful and Tommy’s self-control was lost; pupils dilating, mouth dropping open and a merry southwards charge of his entire blood supply, luckily leaving none to colour his face as Bradford snickered, watching him visibly swoon…

_The sounds he makes are just…_

_Fuck…_ Highly inappropriate images flooded Tommy’s head as he imagined those noises someplace more private than a public dining area…

With alternative activities…

Tommy dropped his fork with a clatter as it bounced off the edge of his plate and hit the floor.

_Fuck…_

Grasping the opportunity to escape momentarily and compose himself, to say nothing of _adjust_ himself, as the pressure against his zip was getting quite uncomfortable, Tommy dived under the table.

He retrieved the offending item of cutlery and was debating whether to undo his pants for a full scale re-dressing or attempt an adjustment from outside, when Adam suddenly appeared beside him.

With his hand very obviously cupping his junk, Tommy leapt up in surprise, cracking his head on the underside of the table. Tears smarting his eyes, he glared at his unexpected companion in this shadowy world amongst the legs and feet of their bandmates.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” it was more a hissed statement than a question, but it seemed to do the job as Adam grinned and reached out to rub the top of Tommy’s head where it had made contact with the table.

“Looking for you, Glitterbaby. One minute we were talking, the next you’d vanished!”

 _“Talking?”_ Tommy scoffed indignantly “You were _moaning_ like a cat in heat and it was so _fucking hot_ …I just had to get aw…” his voice trailed away as Adam’s grin widened.

“You thought it was _hot?_ ” Adam leant closer, a gentle finger tracing the contours of Tommy’s face “Aww, baby…that’s so…”

With his dignity in tatters and pure madness in his bloodstream, Tommy dropped the fork, grabbed a fistful of Adam’s t-shirt with both hands and hauled him in for a kiss, his tongue diving into Adam’s mouth to reacquaint itself with every contour. Adam’s arms closed around him as the temperature rose and they lost themselves in each other.

Finally coming up for air, they were greeted with a round of applause, blinking dazedly at their friends’ grinning faces as one and all ducked under the tablecloth.

Even Adam blushed scarlet.

They looked at each other and burst into peals of laughter, laughter which intensified at the startled look on the server’s face as he stood watching proceedings before wordlessly handing over a shiny new fork and walking away; no doubt to share his most unusual experience with his colleagues in the kitchen.

Breakfast resumed with everyone in high spirits. Adam talked happily about his upcoming reunion with Sauli in Helsinki. He missed Braffy’s wink at Tommy behind his back…

Once everyone had eaten their fill, Bradford called briefing to order. They had an hour to pack and get organised. Because of the expected protesters in St Petersburg they were to be escorted by local police and would be confined to the hotel and venue only for their own protection.

Silence followed as it sank in how real the threat was and they headed to their rooms in contemplative quiet.

After an anxious flight and tense immigration check, they were escorted through arrivals by airport security, smiles reappearing at the mass of black and yellow flags and banners waving enthusiastically behind the barriers. A few dozen anti-gay protesters were being kept well back at the far end.

The minibus and their police escort were waiting for them just outside the doors, Bradford walking ahead with the security staff to check everything was ready to go as soon as they were safely on board.

Despite the smiles and the undoubted warm welcome from the fans, everyone was on edge and their steps were noticeably quicker as they made their way towards the exit.

Approaching the minibus, Adam headed for the front seat, jumping at Bradford’s unusually sharp tone as he was intercepted “In the back please, Adam… _now…”_

Another wink was exchanged over Adam’s head as he breathed deeply and slid open the door.

“Kultsi…” Adam’s face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning and he leapt into the bus, flinging himself on his boyfriend to kiss him to the cosmos and back.

Tommy’s stomach churned unhappily, despite the fact he’d arranged it all… _happy Adam meant happy Tommy right…_

Turning to help Ashley into the vehicle, Tommy dragged his eyes away from the reunion, surprised to find himself wrapped into a tight hug as she whispered in his ear “ _You_ , Tommy Joe Ratliff, are one _very special person…_ ” Releasing him, she pressed a kiss to his cheek before climbing into the bus.

 

Tommy’s tiny smile expanded as first Terrance, Brian, and then Johnny, hugged him in turn, with Rick crushing his ribs as he squeezed tightly. “No idea what all the hugging is for, but if it’s my ticket out of here, I’m in!”

Tommy’s laughter was genuine and he climbed in after them, making his way back to join Adam and Sauli who folded him into their arms wordlessly.

Braffy joined the driver in the front seat after a quick liaison with their escort and they were away. A large gathering of protesters waving anti-gay placards and a single television outside broadcast crew were stationed just beyond the boundaries of the airport, their presence merely a blur as the minibus and her escort swept by.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and animated chatter resumed. Adam and Sauli sat either side of Tommy, each holding one of his hands as they swapped news updates. Despite the green goblins gnawing at his insides, Tommy thoroughly enjoyed himself, reminded yet again how good these two men were together…

Once they were all checked in and assigned their rooms; Tommy’s across the hall from Adam and Sauli’s and thus spared hearing the kind of noises nobody in love with their best friend should ever have to hear; they gathered in the conference room assigned for their use.

Bradford, efficient and calm as ever, set out the arrangements for moving around. It was requested they remain within the hotel and if going out into the grounds they would be assigned a discreet security presence. Beyond the hotel they were unprotected, aside from transport to and from the venue. All guests in the hotel had been vetted ahead of their visit.

All possible precautions had been taken to prevent a repeat of the attack on an Australian artist three weeks previously.

It was a sobering thought and nobody even considered venturing outside.

With verbal consent from each of them, Bradford signed the hotel agreement and handed it to the security officer stood silently just inside the door. A minute nod and he added his own signature, returned a copy to Braffy and left them alone.

Handing the meeting over to Tommy and Brian, they ran through the changes to the setlist for this one concert _; Fever_ and _Kickin’ In_ , as the more suggestive songs, were dropped, with _Better than I know myself_ added. Terrance and Johnny’s dance moves were also going to have their cheeky edges clipped to ensure there was nothing to incite hatred or bad press.

The entry age limit had been raised to eighteen and Adam had signed a contract to confirm the performance complied with general performance decency rules…

It went against the grain, but safety and consideration for themselves and their audience had to come first.

Once at the venue, they soundchecked five songs, including _Better than_ and _Shout_ , before changing into stage attire and relaxing in the green room until they were ready to rock.

The venue wasn’t full to capacity as all their other dates had been, but it was still a lively and welcoming large crowd who screamed the roof off and sang along as Adam got the performance underway. The extra security patrolled, both a reassurance and a reminder of the potential danger.

During his costume changes, Adam checked on Sauli, the Finn electing to watch from the wings rather than down in the press or VIP area.

In Sauli’s shoes, Tommy would have done exactly the same…

All too soon it was the final encore and they went out in a crescendo of black and yellow Blonds jacket, stunning guitar riffs and a full on attack on the drums.

St Petersburg; thanks for the memories…

Trooping off the stage, it was a very swift change into street attire and off to the airport with the audience applause still echoing around the venue. Their exit being so rapid had forestalled any planned protesters and the roads were clear.

Finally checked in for their short flight to Helsinki and through security, now airside, they were able to relax, splitting up to explore the shops after arranging to meet in the VIP Hall in an hour for a late dinner before boarding.

Tommy watched Adam walk off with Sauli, the pair shoving each other playfully as they debated where to head first. It was good to see Adam happy…

He sighed wistfully.

“C’mon guitar boss, let’s go grab a coffee from Shokoladnica…real coffee with a kick” Bradford winked, dropping his voice so only Tommy could hear him “and I’ll even let you do your lovesick puppy for five minutes to get it out of your system…”

“Fucker!” the accompanying gesture and grin shook off the threatened melancholy hanging over him and they headed out to track down the famous Pulkovo airport coffee bar.

An awesome coffee and thoroughly enjoyable debate over the most memorable guitar riffs in rock music saw their hour fly past and the discussion continued once they were in the VIP Hall with the others, tucking into a hot buffet dinner. As a topic of conversation, it drew opinions from everyone, resulting in an animated and enlivened session to fill their time until they were called to board their plane.

The flight was only fifty minutes and it was just touching two thirty when they hit the hotel and a welcome encounter with their beds.

After a quick shower, Tommy slid under the quilt, grimacing as he tried to ignore the noises coming from next door.

It was a futile endeavour; throaty laughter and rhythmic collision of bedpost against connecting wall, the last thing Tommy heard before finally falling asleep, his fingers twisted in the sheets as he fought to drive out the images conjured by those sounds.

His dreams were tortured, his bed cold and lonely…

Whimpering in his sleep as Adam and Sauli pushed him off their toboggan and set off down the hill, leaving him stranded and alone, Tommy was glad when daylight finally rescued him from his nightmares.

Welcome to Helkinki; Sauli’s home…the country who’d proudly and collectively named Adam their _son-in-law…_

_…the last time they’d performed here…November 6 2010…_

_So many memories…_

Closing his eyes briefly, Tommy allowed himself to remember the morning exploring the city with Adam and Sutan, the recollection bringing a fond smile to his face. Dragging his phone out, Tommy sent a message to Sutan, the action bringing some relief to his aching heart as he imagined falling into Raja’s fragrant embrace to be hugged fiercely. Raja protected him with the love of a lioness over her cub…

Dressing rapidly in multiple layers and shivering as he glanced out of the window at the deep snow and heavy clouds, Tommy hurried down to a late band breakfast.

He wasn’t the only one sleeping in today, meeting up with Terrance and Rick waiting for the elevator and holding the door to wait for Ash as she jogged the short distance from her room to join them.

Arriving on the ground floor, Bradford, Adam and Sauli were obviously only just ahead of them as a waiter lead the group to a reserved table in the nook by the fire. Waving another waiter aside as he approached, Tommy and the others followed their boss.

‘Good morning’ greetings were exchanged and coffee orders given. They’d barely sat down when Brian and Johnny joined them to complete the party. As one, they explored the array of dishes on offer…

Sauli and Tommy found themselves at the fresh fruit, both scooping strawberries onto their plates. Sauli added melon, natural yoghurt and a spoonful of raisins, Tommy went for whipped cream. Unconsciously, Tommy pulled his stomach in as they grinned at each other, Tommy’s eyes drawn to the fresh crop of purple bruises peeking out of the collar of Sauli’s high-neck jumper… _I heard those…_

Sauli’s eyebrows rose and Tommy realised he’d been staring. Forcing a chuckle, he shrugged lightly. “That sweater looks warm…” it was a feeble comment but the best he could come up with at short notice.

It achieved the desired result, Sauli grinning and stroking his sleeve. “It is perfect the cold outside today…” his blue eyes danced “it is so good having you in my country, minun ystavani. I wish very much to be a good host…”

The fleeting awkwardness melted away and Tommy grinned back, bumping the Finn’s shoulder affectionately as they headed back to the table via the hot food counter where Tommy loaded bacon and French toast alongside his fruit.

Dropping into their chairs, conversation took second place to eating as everyone tucked in.

Tummies pleasantly full and coffee mugs refreshed, Bradford opened briefing, immediately handing over to Adam who stood, tugging on Sauli’s hand to have him stand beside him.

“Our last performance of the _We are Glamily_ tour…” a flicker of sadness crossed Adam’s face, gone before anyone noticed - anyone other than Tommy…”and I’ve decided we’re going to show what we’re made of, so we’re packing the setlist with extras and it’ll over-run big time – not that the fans will mind I’m sure, but I’m going to be paying some hefty bonuses to the crew!” The grin was back, lighting the room “and now, over to Sauli…”

“It is so much pleasure to host you all friends in my country…” Sauli’s smile radiated warmth and sincerity as he looked around the table “and I would very much wish you to come for a traditional feast at the home of my family tonight. We will eat and talk and be happy?”

A rousing cheer from the assembled group seemed the appropriate response and Sauli beamed “We will be meeting at six at the minibus…” he grinned at Tommy, patting his sleeve, adding “it will be cold for you so you will need to be warm clothes on…”

Tommy nodded, his mind transported back to Christmas 2011 and Adam’s happy tweet with the endearing picture of himself and Sauli in red hats **Xmas Eve with the Koskinens! Just had a huge traditional Finnish feast and now opening gifts! Merry and bright! Hyvää**

Quashing the pang of anguish as soon as it raised its head, he applauded with the rest of his friends.

Sauli sat back down and reached for his coffee. Adam waited for quiet, another unfathomable expression racing across his face as he glanced down at his boyfriend.

Noting this second expression, Tommy filed it away for further consideration. Something was definitely off… _maybe he’s just tired; it’s been a frantic few months…or maybe he wants the tour to go on longer…but he’s missed Sauli so much…maybe he’s…_

Pushing his rambling thoughts firmly aside, Tommy concentrated on the man he loved…

“Today is free time once we’ve reworked the setlist, dinner at Sauli’s family home tonight and then tomorrow we’ll do a full run through in the morning to make sure all the links work as they should. I want to go out with a show they’ll still be talking about this time next year.”

The enthusiastic table slapping and stamping of feet as he finished his cheerleading speech had Adam laughing loudly; he adored these people. “Okay, let’s sort these songs out…”

A lively discussion ensued, the resulting setlist showcasing both albums and the most loved covers with twenty scheduled tracks and the opportunity for some free jamming to allow Adam’s costume changes into the mix. Helsinki was going to rock… _If I had you, Naked Love, Cuckoo, Never close our eyes_ and _Pop that Lock_ remained unchanged as the opening upbeat numbers, moving into the slower and acoustic segment with _Better than I know myself, Chokehold, Broken English, Shout, Whataya want from me, Outlaws of Love_ and _Is this Love_ in the middle, finally re-energising that party mood with _For Your Entertainment, Fever, Hot Stuff, Dragon Attack_ and _Shady._ Band intros would stay in _Shady_ and a triple encore of _Are you gonna go my way, Music again_ and _Trespassing_ would finish off their mammoth set.

Tommy scribbled down the tracks, hearing the overlaps in his head as Adam hummed them. Stage one of tour closure was complete.

It was a happy band of friends who headed for the elevators to sort out their plans for the day. Tommy watched Adam and Sauli talking in low voices as they returned to their room, the door closing on their earnest conversation.

Sighing, Tommy stopped outside his own door, digging into his pocket for the key card. Lost in woeful contemplation he didn’t hear Ashley until she spoke and he leapt out of his skin, dropping his key as she giggled “Aww, sorry Teebie!”

Tommy retrieved his card and straightened up, grinning “You’ve got a cracking stealth mode on those legs, Minx!”

Ashley grinned back “You got plans for today? I thought I’d explore a bit and I’d love some company…I’ve got a 100 Most Useful Finnish phrases and tour guide…”

Another set of memories flashed through Tommy’s head and he nodded. “Sounds like fun. ‘m gonna need to put more clothes on first, it’s fucking freezing out there!”

“Good idea…meet downst…” she broke off as Tommy’s phone blasted _Fever_ along the hallway.

“Braffy…yeah, just makin’ plans with Ash…hang on…” he glanced up at Ashley “wanna make it the three musketeers?”

“Perfect! Downstairs in fifteen minutes?” Ashley skipped back towards her room.

Tommy went back to his phone “we’re meeting down in the lobby in fifteen minutes. Dress up warm, it’s fucking freezing outside!”

“Yes, mom!” Braffy hung up, chuckling and Tommy finally made it through his door. As he sorted out boots, hat, scarf and gloves plus his warmest coat, he listened for any sound of movement from next door. All was silent, not even the murmur of conversation…again, he pondered those earlier expressions…

The meeting in the lobby looked more like an abominable snowman convention than the three musketeers, but, as Bradford acknowledged cheerfully “at least our balls won’t drop off in the cold!”

Ashley jabbed him with a well-padded elbow, giggling “speak for yourself, mister, _some_ of us don’t have balls!”

They headed out into the cold, laughter floating back as the three friends kicked snow at each other as they made their way down the long driveway.

They had a truly enjoyable day, exploring the sights – some of which Tommy remembered from his last visit – drinking some utterly divine hot chocolate and taking masses of pictures for posting to social media later on.

Checking twitter as they sat finishing their hot chocolate, Tommy scrolled through picture after picture of Adam and Sauli; either just the two of them buying sunglasses, coming out of a coffee shop, looking at hats, holding up fun sweaters and generally just being themselves shopping in the market; or smiling with fans – alone, together…it was a mass outpouring of delighted celebration from the Finnish fans who were undeniably _thrilled_ to see Sauli and their adopted son-in-law out and about amongst them.

Looking closely at the pictures, Tommy stomped down the tiny green shoots of envy as he noted Adam’s hand resting on Sauli’s shoulder, or curled around his waist or, in the case of buying sunglasses, tilting Sauli’s face up to his own with a single touch of his finger under Sauli’s chin…

… _just like we did on stage…before he kissed me in Fever…_

For a split second, the pain of loss hit him hard and Tommy stifled a gasp. Glancing up at his companions, he was relieved to see they’d been too busy ragging each other over Rudolph-style shiny red noses to notice his brief indiscretion…

He shoved his phone deep into his pocket and wrapped his fingers back around his mug.

After several happy hours of doing the whole tourist thing, they made their way back to the hotel to defrost their frozen extremities and relax before the big feast at Sauli’s. A group hug at Ashley’s door saw them parting ways to hit warm baths for the great thaw.

Back in his room, Tommy elected to call room service for coffee and a snack, leapt under the shower and was curled up under the duvet for a nap. This time his dreams were happy ones.

The minibus was full of excited chatter and enthusiastic discussion of everyone’s various excursions from the day. Tommy was refreshed from his snooze and cuddled into Terrance as the pair listened to Brian’s exploration of the beautiful 1750s art at the Ateneum Art Museum.

Sauli re-joined them after giving directions to the driver and the conversation flowed easily, the mood one of warmth and fondness all around.

Tommy listened, his attention wandering as he gazed at Adam from behind his hair. Adam was attentive and full of smiles of course, but there was still _something…_ Tommy scanned Adam’s face, concluding he looked tired…drawn almost. Perhaps it was a good thing this was the last date on the tour; Adam needed time to relax and unwind with his boyfriend…

Fortunately, before he could slide into the looming darkness, the bus stopped and Sauli bounced excitedly to the front.

“We are here. Please be welcome to my home and my family. Now it is the time to feast well and be having fun…”

Introductions to his family followed, his nephews running around pretending to be lawn mowers and fighter jets, an immense source of amusement to everyone. The massive table in the giant kitchen was laden with delicious dishes, many traditional and celebratory recipes everyone was eager to try.

Sauli’s sisters and their mom had obviously been baking all day, their faces alight as everyone exclaimed over the wonderful banquet. The children ran around with plates of thick pannukakku, Finnish oven baked pancakes which were amazing with thinly sliced oranges, berry compote and cream. They were a serious rival for Tommy’s existing favourite Runerbergin Torttu…

Bowls of perunalaatikko – a hearty winter sweetened potato casserole, served with hunks of ruisleipa, Sauli’s rye bread of choice, were devoured, followed by meat balls – the unpronounceable lihapullat – with kaalikaaryleet, translated literally as cabbage rolls, and a cold Christmas salad. The hotdog sauce was also proving popular as was the Savo fish pie

Desserts on offer included traditional Finnish blueberry pie which melted in the mouth, Tommy’s Runerbergin Torttu, korvapuusti or ‘slapped ears’ as they translated – cardamom buns filled with brown sugar and cinnamon -  as well as a large bowl of mixed berries for those wanting a lighter pudding.

This was topped off with fine coffee and baskets of Finnish recipe gingerbread thins, packed with punch from a mix of ginger, cloves, cinnamon and cardamom. Instantly voted a favourite, Sauli’s twin sister, Sara, filled a box for them to take back when they returned to the hotel.

The evening finished with an impromptu performance of traditional folk songs, Sauli and older sister Saana taking lead vocals as dad Osmo strummed along on an ancient guitar with Sara and Salla on backing vocals. The songs were lyrical, yet simple, telling a story despite the language barrier.

It was with real regret they gathered their coats and piled back onto the bus after hugs all around. Sauli’s family were warm and wonderful people and were very obviously proud of Sauli and his achievements. The return trip resonated with happy chatter as they made their way carefully through the worsening weather.

Tommy fell into his bed, content with his world…

Show day dawned in the grip of a fierce snow storm, visibility down to barely a few inches in front of their faces. Outside it was bitterly cold and the forecast was for more snow still to come. Even the highly experienced road teams struggled to keep the roads passable, making the short journey to the venue for their full run-through, a nail-biting event.

There was real concern for the safety of the fans attempting to reach the show and serious discussions ensued where the postponing of the performance was considered at the request of the highways commission. Eventually, the decision was made to go ahead, with patrons allowed in earlier than usual to get them in from the sub-zero temperatures and late arrivals would be permitted throughout the entire show.

Local radio recorded a short message from Adam, asking fans to take care on their journeys and better to arrive later, than not at all. The message was repeated in Finnish, along with a travel report.

In the immortal words of Freddie Mercury, _The Show Must Go On…_

Rehearsal went well; a few timing issues and chord changes were corrected, dance moves augmented with some entertaining acrobatics and some semi-scripted jamming was slotted in. It was looking to be a killer show for those who braved the elements.

The weather worsened steadily through the afternoon, prompting an early bite to eat and relocation to the venue, just in case the roads became impassable.

With time on their hands, they piled into the kitchen to make tea and hot chocolate for the gathering fans outside, staying well out of sight as the front of house staff did all the face to face interaction. As the time ticked away towards kick-off, they handed over their teapots and returned to their dressing rooms to get changed, leaving Sauli and Bradford to liaise with the press and those VIPs who’d made the journey.

Doors opened an hour early as the wind chill factor dropped to a bitter minus twenty, officially, the worst storms in over a decade. Despite the conditions outside, the venue filled up steadily, with only a few dozen gaps by the time they were ready to take to the stage.

From the very start it was going to be an epic night, the screams from the audience loud enough to break the sound barrier before they’d even played a note. Waiting in the wings as they prepared to take their places, Tommy watched Adam as he squinted into the bustling press and VIP section, searching for Sauli. Spotting his boyfriend talking animatedly to a young press photographer, Tommy noted that same expression from before flash across Adam’s face, so quickly he could’ve imagined it.

“Hey, Babyboy, you okay?”

Adam jumped “what? Yeah, I’m fine…” The response seemed automatic and lacking in conviction but before Tommy could tackle Adam any further, they were beckoned on stage, the noise level rising ever higher as the spotlight focused on Adam “ _So, I got my boots oooooon…_ ”

Any worries Tommy may have had about Adam’s state of mind were blown away as he set the place alight, his vocals crisp and clear, covering the length and breadth of the stage oozing sex and confidence. Tommy’s entire body tingled from head to toe just sharing the same air space, their usual closeness in the third chorus setting a riot of goose bumps down his spine as Adam squeezed his shoulder, and he couldn’t resist reaching up to stroke Adam’s hand as they leant against each other.

Quite simply, Adam sizzled tonight… “C’mon Helsinki…”

Singing to Tommy as always at the start of _Naked Love_ was another masterclass in pure sex, the air crackling between them in a manner reminiscent of London…

Tommy’s blood supply fled south, the wicked twinkle in Adam’s eyes as he leant in close, pressing _hard_ against Tommy’s thigh enough to draw a breathless gasp from Tommy’s lips.

Adam’s connection to the crowd was electric, feeding off the energy and love that radiated from the now full house. Their delighted screams at his greeting in their language soared ever higher as he mimicked Sauli’s accent…

 _Better than I know myself_ drilled through into Tommy’s soul, the words possessing his head and he couldn’t tear his eyes from Adam’s face…watching as Adam sang to Sauli, imploring and intense, his gaze fixed on the VIP area…

 _Chokehold_ followed, the spellbound audience quiet as Adam sang his heart out. Pausing at the end to sip from his drink, Adam stood tall, squaring his shoulders as he gazed out over the crowd “ _This song…is dedicated to Sauli…”_

The screams melted ear drums…” _The tower of Babel…”_

Moving to the front of the stage, he sang to them, one hand sliding from his throat down his body to stroke over his crotch before coming to rest on his thigh “… _connect the neck to what’s below…”_

_It was seduction by song…_

_The seduction of Sauli…_

Tommy channelled his feelings into his solo, letting his fingers declare his complete love for this man with every note he played. As he closed it out, Adam moved closer and their eyes met, that spark reigniting the charge from corpuscle control.

Back on his spot, Tommy was breathless…

Adam lifted the intensity of the mood by throwing his towel out into the audience, suggesting they cut it into pieces to share as it was so big. Chuckling, he introduced _Shout…_

Another solo for Tommy before they moved into an impassioned _Whataya want from me,_ the acoustic guitar simple and pure and a perfect match to Adam’s vocal.

Spinning around on his stool, Adam grinned happily as the extended screams and applause delayed the start of the next song. Several spins later, he was able to give the special introduction to _Outlaws of Love,_ imploring them to believe whenever they felt at their lowest, they are not alone.

His voice rang out, laden with emotion, to an audience captivated. They moved into the reggae ending, blending seamlessly into _Is this love._

Band jamming to _Kickin’ In_ allowed Adam to change his outfit before ramping up the beat and the sex once more as they hit the high energy _For Your Entertainment._

Tommy tried to concentrate on his playing, a feat made more difficult with Adam’s bare feet, black leather and lace-up pants…hitting several of his kinks in one foul swoop…

 _Fever_ saw Johnny’s sexed up dance routine grinding against Adam to appreciative screams of delight. Tommy grinned at the pair, hyping it up as the cheers got louder. _Hot Stuff_ gave Tommy another distinctive riff and another solo, Adam’s wink sending shivers of pleasure down his spine; delight which carried over into the crowd-pleasing and awesome _Dragon Attack…_

 _Shady_ saw the band intros and Tommy let it fly, leaning back against Adam as he wound it down. The cheers and applause continued without diminishing in volume until they reappeared and launched straight into the first of the encore _Are You Gonna Go my Way,_ another epic solo that saw Adam on his knees at Tommy’s feet, their gazes locked…it was just him and Adam and the world around them faded away.

This beautiful connection had to come to an end, an almost wistful look racing fleetingly across Adam’s face before he broke into that radiant smile of his. Under his spell, Tommy reached down to caress Adam’s throat, the touch bringing them back to the here and now.

A final chorus and then into _Music Again_ …

_…I’d shower you with roses so you knew you were loved…_

Tommy’s fingers played automatically as he lost himself in the memories from Kiev, impossible dreams…

 _Trespassing_ lifted the roof, a fitting finale to the _We Are Glamily_ tour.

The after-party was a blur, Tommy’s memory of it consisting of multiple drinks and an equal number of group hugs…how he made it back to his bed, albeit, on top of the duvet, still fully clothed…forever destined to be one of life’s mysteries.

Band brunch was a quiet affair, everyone waiting for their pain killers to kick in as the after effects of wild partying took its toll. Numerous vows of never drinking again were pledged in muttered groans around the table.

Bradford stood slowly and opened briefing, voice pitched low to avoid jarring thudding heads. “Firstly, can I say now, I’m never drinking that much again!” Muted chuckles and tiny nods of agreement rippled around the table. “Seriously though, a huge thank you to Sauli and his family for their hospitality and amazing introduction to Finnish cuisine…I’m officially addicted to those ginger cookies!”

Tommy watched Adam carefully, noting the paleness of his face and dark shadows under his eyes…of course they all looked a bit like that today, but… He dragged his attention back to Braffy.

“We need to be checked out by four this afternoon and I’m told flights should be back on schedule after the storm, by the time we’re due to depart. Any questions?” He grinned faintly as silence met his words “Good! Okay, over to you Boss-man” Bradford sat down.

Adam glanced around the table at his band, his dancers…his friends…before standing. He didn’t look at Sauli.

“Good time last night, guys, and can I just put on record, my head fucking hurts this morning!” Laughter bubbled, merging with fresh groans as fragile heads complained. Adam grinned, the golden smile lighting his face, but not, Tommy saw, making it to his eyes…

“I have to echo Braffy’s thanks to Sauli and his family for a truly wonderful evening and for welcoming us rowdy lot into their home.” He reached for Sauli’s hand, squeezing it gently before releasing. “Thank you all for this tour, for your hard work and support. I wouldn’t be able to do this without any of you, and I love you all…” Adam’s voice trembled, the gleam of tears glistening in his eyes. He took a deep breath, composure restored “We meet in the lobby at four, enjoy the rest of the day.”

Bending down to whisper in Sauli’s ear, he hesitated as the Finn frowned, before they both left without saying anything further.

Tommy watched their retreating backs until they were out of sight. Pushing to his feet, he mumbled something about going back to bed and headed for the elevators.

Lost in his own thoughts, plus the continued presence of the entire cast of _River Dance_ still creating a racket inside his skull, he failed to see the crowd of people around Adam and Sauli as they posed for fan pictures, until he was almost in the midst of them.

With squeals of delight there was a rush around him and he found himself smiling with fan after fan for pictures.

He didn’t hear the fan who suggested it, but all of a sudden there was a clamouring for a picture of Adam with his two blond-haired boys… Swallowing down the _I really don’t want to do this right now_ he stood on Adam’s left, with Sauli on the right as Adam draped an arm around both their shoulders. With smiles fixed firmly in place, a million flashes went off in their faces and he felt Adam tense beside him.

Before any more demands could be made of them, the Duty Manager appeared and politely shooed the fans away, leaving the three of them stood alone in the middle of the lobby.

Adam sighed heavily and headed for the elevator. Tommy glanced at Sauli’s usually sunny face, now frowning for the second time that morning, as he watched his boyfriend walk away.

“Are you okay?” Tommy knew he’d regret asking, but Sauli was his friend.

“He is very tired of course” Sauli paused, turning to guide Tommy towards the far side of the lobby where Adam had now vanished into an elevator “it is hard to be away for so long all the time. I have a week to be in LA now and then I must be back to train for _Dancing on Ice…”_ He smiled sadly “Adam wants me to be with him more but I must do work when I am offered…”

They stepped into the elevator and the doors pinged closed behind them.

Sauli looked down at his feet “Sometimes he does not understand why I must work…why I want to be more than this boyfriend of Adam Lambert…”

Wordlessly, Tommy folded the tiny Finn into a fierce hug, sensing he was near tears. Sauli clung tightly and for a moment they stood in silence. “You are a good friend to us both, Tommy”

“Always…” Tommy really meant it – that eternity promise had somehow expanded to include the man Adam loved as well… “You can always talk to me about anything…”

As they reached their floor, they stepped apart, bumping shoulders as they each pulled out their key cards and opened their doors. Re-opening his door a few minutes later to hang the _Do Not Disturb_ sign on the outside, Tommy heard raised voices.

“I am trying…” Sauli sounded resigned.

“Well try harder…” Adam’s door opened “I’ll be in the spa if you want me” The door banged shut and Adam stalked away.

With his head still pounding, Tommy debated whether to go and check on Sauli. As he pondered, the sound of their door closing once more decided for him as Sauli headed out after Adam, hands jammed deep in his pockets and shoulders hunched.

All was not well.

Troubled on many levels, Tommy shed his clothes and slid under the duvet. Closing his eyes, it was a long time until he fell asleep.

Whatever had transpired at the spa, both Adam and Sauli were full of smiles when everyone gathered ready for the trip to the airport and their long journey home. Tommy’s relief was evident as Sauli squeezed his hand and nodded. “Thank you for listening minun ystavani…he is better now and we go home.”

It was strange waking up in his own bed, the room too small, yet reassuringly familiar…too quiet…

As if the fates had heard him, Tommy’s phone split the silence, London _Fever_ echoing around the room. A pang of longing hit him as he answered; time to change it for a less painful tune…

“Vayvee…so good to have you home. Raja has missed her boo…”

Tommy’s face cracked a huge grin “missed you both too, more than you know”

“Enough to take me to breakfast?”

“Try and stop me!” Flinging back the duvet, Tommy padded to the bathroom to turn on the shower, phone still pressed to his ear “so, have you heard from Adam?” his tone was casual, indifferent almost…

Sutan’s knowing chuckle sent heat flooding Tommy’s cheeks, despite the fact he was alone in the apartment and Sutan couldn’t even see him.

“I have indeed spoken to him this morning, not ten minutes ago. He’s having a cosy week at home with Sauli before his pretty little Finn goes away again…but you already knew that.” Sutan teased him gently.

“I know, I just wanted to say his name, y’know like a lovesick teenager... _Adam, I love Adam, Adam for Tommy forever…Adam and Tommy, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-Gee Aaadam!_ ”

“You’re such a sappy little fucker! Pick me up as soon as you’re ready”

Tommy’s laughter filled the tiny space as he hung up and stepped under the steaming spray.

Twenty minutes later he was waiting outside Sutan’s. Over breakfast, they swapped news and stories, sharing multiple outbursts of giggles. It felt good to be back.

During the week, Tommy caught up with Brad, had lunch with his mom and sister, met for coffee with Matt and Alla – sans Liz, and took Mike and Tanya for dinner and a show with some of his bonus money. The tour had exceeded all expectations and the super bigwigs had rewarded everyone with generous bonuses. Tommy fucking loved his job!

This morning he had a jam session with Bradford, working on their own tunes and picking a few classics to tackle for the next step in Braffy’s evolution as a rock legend in training.

When Bradford arrived in ripped jeans and an Iron Maiden tour t-shirt, clutching two mega Cortados and a bag of cinnamon whirls, Tommy knew it was going to be a good day. They munched on the pastries as they reworked Metallica’s _Battery_ and Jimi Hendrix’s _Little Wing_.

“Tommy?”

“What?” Tommy raised an eyebrow as Braffy sat up with a half excited, half expectant look on his face.

“D’you think it’s time I bought my own guitar? I’ve got my bonus from the WAG tour and I was kinda thinkin’…”

“Hell, yeah! Get your jacket! I _love_ guitar shopping.” Tommy drained the last of his coffee and tossed the empty cup into the trash. Braffy laughed at his friend bouncing around like an excited puppy who’d just heard the magic word _walk…_

Finishing his own coffee and adding the cup to the bin on the way out, he followed Tommy down the stairs. “Where’re we going?”

“Imperial Vintage Guitars on Magnolia Boulevard. I’m going to introduce you to Shai and Tommy and you’re gonna feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman… _so many choices…_ and you get to try them all… I used to help out there sometimes, it really was the most awesome apprenticeship for learning the different instruments.” Tommy shoved Bradford playfully down the last few steps “Faster!”

In the car, Tommy fed a Doors cd into the player and they sang along to _Riders on the Storm,_ Braffy air-guitaring the solos with Tommy tapping the wheel in time to the drums and cymbals. With spirits high they bowled into the store.

The morning passed in a happy blur of Fenders, Les Paul, and Gibson, jamming and discussions, as Shai commented with a grin, bringing out yet another round of coffee, “she’s your first, and you never rush a decision like that…”

Finally, Bradford settled on a Fender American Standard Stratocaster Electric Guitar with Maple Fingerboard. They added a [Fender Super-Champ 10 Tube Guitar Combo Amp](http://www.musiciansfriend.com/amplifiers-effects/fender-super-champ-x2-15w-1x10-tube-guitar-combo-amp) to plug it into and an electronic tuner, gig bag, cable, strap and picks.

The sheer joy on Braffy’s face reminded Tommy of the excitement of getting his first guitar all those years ago…

It was only right they now went back to Tommy’s to try it all out.

After a quick stop to grab some take out burritos, they indulged in an afternoon of riotous rock and blues. Once Brad had left, Tommy dropped into the easy chair and tugged out his phone, preparing to catch up on the mass of messages lurking in his inbox.

Most were twitter notifications and junk, but there was one from Brad wanting to rearrange their next _Husbands_ script read through and another from Sutan with a link to his latest show. Scrolling further back he had one from Sauli **Please be looking after Adam for me minun ystavani. Always will I hold you in my heart. S**

Tommy’s finger hovered over the call button, before deciding to leave it until the morning in case they were having a late farewell session… _not_ something he wanted to interrupt…

After changing his ringtone, he dropped the phone on the coffee table and relocated to the kitchen.

He was in the middle of cooking when first Mike, then Tanya arrived home and the three of them enjoyed a rather nice – if he did say so himself – lemon chicken and fragrant rice dinner followed by a mammoth Breaking Bad session. Mike and Tanya admitted defeat after a couple of episodes and took themselves off to bed, leaving Tommy nursing the remains of a nightcap as he loaded another disc.

At some point he fell asleep on the sofa.

And then the phone rang at 3:00am…

His circle of memories was complete…so much had happened since the start…

Stretching carefully, Tommy gazed at the sleeping man in his arms. Adam was more beautiful than ever, those tantalising freckles on his lips once more begging to be kissed. With remarkable self-control, Tommy resisted.

Adam had enough to deal with at the moment without being kiss-napped as he slept.  

Closing his eyes, Tommy tried to sleep.

A whimper from Adam had Tommy waking with a jump. Adam’s eyes were brimming with fresh tears, his body trembling. Instinctively, Tommy drew him closer, one hand returning to stroke through Adam’s hair as he whispered soothing words of love and nonsense.

Slowly, Adam calmed. “Is it real? Has he really gone?”

“’m sorry Babyboy…”

Stilling in Tommy’s arms, Adam took a deep breath. “I need to see for myself, need to see what he’s taken with him…”

Releasing his hold, Tommy watched as Adam checked the closets and chest of drawers. Clutching a red tank vest from the shelf, Adam slumped back onto the bed, shoulders hunched as he twisted his hands in the fabric.

Tommy sat up hurriedly, swinging his legs out to end up sat next to the man he loved…the man who was hurting so much right now it tore Tommy’s heart to shreds. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” he paused “but only if you want to…” He reached for Adam’s hand, slotting their fingers together “I’m not going anywhere…yours for eternity, remember!” Tommy lifted their joined hands to point at his bracelet.

A tiny smile ghosted on Adam’s face as he mirrored Tommy’s movements “me too”

Silence fell for long minutes. Tommy waited, knowing Adam would eventually find the words he was looking for.

“We kept fighting. All the time…about stupid things mostly, but it always stemmed from him not being here or rushing stuff we were doing so he could call Finland…call Luukas…skype Luukas…it was like there were three of us in bed sometimes…” Adam drew another deep breath “After the Helsinki show he wanted to stay there and not come back here with me. I was horrible to him…”

“I’m sure he understood…” Tommy spoke softly, not wanting to stop the offloading of emotion.

“I said he was just using me to get famous and if he wasn’t seen with me people would drop him as he wasn’t nearly as talented as he thought he was…” Adam stifled a sob “I made him cry and then I felt so guilty because I didn’t mean it…he’s beautiful and so talented and I’m really pleased his career is taking off” His voice dropped to a barely audible whisper “I was jealous because he spent more time with other people than he did with me…he was mine _first_ ; before they got him, he was _mine…_

 _…and now he’s all theirs…”_ The floodgates reopened and Adam broke down, violent sobs shaking his body as Tommy gathered the distraught man back into his arms. “Yesterday he got a call from Luukas...” Adam’s voice was muffled as he spoke into Tommy’s chest “Seems ‘Kone Finland’ loved his photoshoot and want to make him their poster lead this coming season. It’s a massive deal and part of me was so proud of him; but I told him he had to choose… I gave him an hour to decide and I went out. I… _what if_ …”

Adam looked up, eyes swimming with unshed tears, his face pale behind the red blotches from excessive crying “when I came back he wasn’t here and his travel bag was gone…” He looked pleadingly at Tommy, begging understanding…

“He chose them?”

Pulling out of Tommy’s arms, Adam reached into his bedside drawer and pulled out a crumpled, many-times-folded and tear stained sheet of paper, and a cd.

Tommy read...

_Adam_

_It seems we cannot talk to each other these days without one of us mis-hearing the other’s intention. I am sorry I do not have the words to tell you so you will understand me properly. I have found a way to use your language. Please take the word and feeling from this song and know I will always hold you in my heart._

**_Too much love will kill you, it’ll make your life a lie_ **

**_Yes too much love will kill you and you won’t understand why_ **

**_You’d give your life, you’d sell your soul_ **

**_But here it comes again, too much love will kill you_ **

**_In the end_ **

_I will always love you Adam_

_Sauli_

 

“The cd is the whole song…Brian May _Too much love will kill you_ and it’s so true. It says it’s impossible to choose…but I made him…made him pick, knowing whatever he decided would hurt him…hurt **_us…_** ”

  _Fuck…if I’d called yesterday when I got that message…_ The colour drained from Tommy’s face and he stood hurriedly… _maybe I could’ve changed his mind…fixed it…_ “I’m going to put some coffee on, why don’t you have a shower and put some clothes on and we can talk some more…”

“Tommy…”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to be on my own… _please don’t go…_ ”

“I’m not leaving you, I’m only going to the kitchen.” The lost look in Adam’s eyes made Tommy want to cry with him, but he willed himself to be strong… _Adam needed him…_ “C’mon, we’ll go together…” He smiled encouragingly as Adam took the offered hand and they headed to the kitchen together.

Coffee made, they returned to Adam’s room where Tommy sat on the closed lid of the toilet as Adam took his shower.

 _“Too much love will kill you, if you can’t make up your mind, torn between the lover and the love you leave behind…”_ Adam’s voice filtered through the shower cubicle. He’d listened to it so many times he’d learned all the words.

They swapped places, Tommy washing himself rapidly, drying and dressing again in under ten minutes.

Adam spent the day wandering around the apartment, restless yet unable to decide what he wanted to do. Tommy stayed with him the entire day, venturing out only to pick up some clean clothes. It looked like he’d be staying a few days longer.

Adam played Brian May’s song over and over, whispering the lyrics like a mantra. It was heart-breaking seeing him so vulnerable. Tommy caught him numerous times, in floods of tears watching the fan vid _1000 years_ on Youtube. The video laid Adam’s heart open for all to see as he talked about his beautiful boyfriend…” _he’s my little star…”_

After three days of a pale and listless Adam, not leaving the apartment, very little eating and drinking way too much coffee, Tommy took action and booked them a spa day. The following morning he bundled Adam into his car as he stood, faded lounge pants and vest top, ignoring his feeble protests.

He held Adam’s hand all day; as they were full-body massaged on beds side by side, manicured, pedicured and reiki’d… Adam’s sad smile receded a little as the day wore on, finally tugging Tommy into his arms as they sat down to an array of tiny tempting dishes, their tummies rumbling after the recent neglect.

“Thank you, baby…”

 “Welcome, Babyboy…”

They held hands across the table as they ate.

On the way home Adam scrolled through his music on his phone, pressing play to fill the car with _Broken English_. “I always said this was Sauli’s song, and I know I wrote it for him, but it should’ve been _Can’t let you go._ Have you ever listened to the lyrics? Only someone who’s had their heart shattered would ever understand…”

“We can listen together…”

_Fuckshitbuggerfuck…_

For a moment it looked like he’d got away with it. However, Adam turned a quizzical gaze in his direction “Whoever it was, they didn’t deserve you if they hurt you like that…” He squeezed Tommy’s knee, leaving his hand resting on Tommy’s thigh, the heat burning through to Tommy’s skin to send excited messages bouncing around in corpuscle control.

_Now was so not the time to sprout a boner._

Through sheer force of mind, Tommy made it back to Adam’s without any embarrassing tenting of trousers. With so much of his stuff now at Adam’s, it looked like he’d moved into the guest room semi-permanently. Mike had teased him when he explained they were working on Adam’s third album and the inspiration was not a nine to five thing so it was just easier to be there… The tight hug as they parted said he understood.

A week after the split, Tommy arranged a Skype session with Sauli to decide how to share the news with the public. It was not a session he was looking forward to, despite the upturn in Adam’s mood over the last couple of days. Adam had been pouring his emotions into writing for his third album and was beginning to look more like the Adam he knew so well…

… _and loved so fucking much it burned…_

The morning of the planned Skype, a phone call from Braffy suddenly made everything so much easier. Adam agreed to do six songs to close the show at Miami Pride, no band, but he could take his two dancers with him… It was a gift…

In the end, the Skype was just like old times. After an initial cautious greeting, Adam and Sauli, both spoke at once, apologising for the way things had ended, laughing as they tried taking it in turns and still ended up talking at the same time. With the air cleared, they agreed Adam would announce it as part of his Pride interview, quietly and as a done deal…last month’s news, they were still good friends and would continue to see each other from time to time…as friends.

They were talking for over two hours, only saying goodbye when Tommy yawned and set them all off. Sauli blew them each a kiss and promised to see them at Allison’s birthday party the week after Miami. It would be their first big test since the news broke.

Adam had already shared the news with his family and they’d told Braffy, Sutan and Brad. Other than that, it still needed protecting until the interview next week…

Tommy was now a permanent fixture in the guest room and the nights padding down the hall to dry Adam’s tears as he cried over the _1000 Years_ video had reduced to the occasional melancholy moment. It helped that Adam and Sauli still messaged and called each other, the passionate love appearing to morph seamlessly into the love shared by the best of friends.

Adam had an infinite ability to love…

As Tommy packed Adam’s travel bag for his three day trip to Miami, he found himself wishing the band were performing. Instead of being there, he had to rely on Braffy, Ter and Johnny to give Adam the support he needed, and he couldn’t even warn the dancers of the impending news bomb…

He zipped the bag and re-joined Adam in the living room.

“Hey minun ystavani!” Sauli’s smiling face greeted him from Adam’s computer screen.

“Hey, yourself! How’s it going?” Tommy winced as Sauli rolled up his top to display heavily bruised ribs in colourful shades of black, blue and purple. “Ouch, that looks like it fucking hurts!”

“It does, it hurts very bad and I still have to train today. There will be much swearing on the ice today…”

“I told him to swear in Russian or something so nobody knows what he’s saying” Adam grinned “sadly, I don’t know any Russian swear words…”

“Me neither, sorry!”

Sauli shrugged lightly, glancing over his shoulder at the pretty woman skating towards the edge of the rink at speed “it is time for me to go and dance our rehearsal or Nea will have my hide” he winked at them, raising his voice so it carried across the ice “she is one fierce dragon lady…”

Blowing them a kiss, he chuckled as Nea launched into a stream of excitable Finnish “told you she was fierce!” Turning quickly he pointed at his screen “Nea, say hello”

They got a wave, a smile and a hello before she turned and skated away, pulling into a series of elegant spins. “I have to practice my spins today. I will be thinking of you in Miami, Adam.” He smiled softly “it will all be okay and I see you both next week…”

With a nod, he closed the connection.

“I’ve been thinking…” Adam reached for Tommy’s hand.

Mentally, Tommy steeled himself for bad news, running through a list of possibilities…maybe Adam wanted his apartment back to himself, or… A painful squeeze on his fingers pulled him back to the here and now.

“So, what do you think?”

“Huh?” Tommy blinked, realising he’d missed the outcome of Adam’s thought processes.

“Will you come to Miami with me? _Please?_ ”

Even before he’d considered the words, Tommy nodded.

“Thank you, Glitterbaby…” Adam pulled him into a tight hug “I don’t know what I’d have done without you these past couple of weeks.” He held Tommy tighter still, Tommy melting into the embrace as the aroma of everything _Adam_ swamped his senses. “I know you’ll have to keep a low profile, but it’ll mean so much that you’re there when I…” he faltered “when I… _y’know…when I_ …do the interview…” he finished lamely, unable to part with the actual words.

Cuddling in, Tommy mumbled non-committedly and just enjoyed the closeness.

Several minutes of blissful hugs later, Adam released him and gave him a gentle shove towards the door. “Go pack, I’m going to ring Braffy and get you a seat on our fight.”

Rolling t-shirts and generally employing all of Sauli’s top packing tips, Tommy had a sudden flash of brilliance and dragged his phone out, calling the one person he knew could help his quest to blend into the crowd.

Making a brief stop off en route to LAX to collect some extra supplies, they were headed to Miami.

After a five and a half hour flight and a short car ride, they were safely booked in, one blond guitarist and devil child, Tommy Joe Ratliff now a brown haired, bespectacled sound engineer by the name of Steve _Robbie_ Roberts… _thank you Raja…_ Officially down to share Bradford’s twin bedded room, Tommy would stay with Adam…

One planning meeting and itinerary set up later, and they were free to explore all that Pride and Miami South Beach had to offer. Ice creams in hand Adam and Tommy wandered along the shore, watching the masses soaking up the sun and having fun.

Adam was quiet as he watched couples strolling along holding hands, his thoughts obviously on Sauli and what might have been. Resisting the urge to fold the man he loved into his arms and spill his innermost feelings, Tommy trotted silently by his side, waiting…

Whatever Adam was feeling, he kept it bottled up and wore a smile for the public, signing autographs and posing for pictures. The brown-haired scrawny bloke beside him, in a pair of ratty jeans, Pride ‘staff’ tank and long sleeved cotton shirt was ignored…

After a full day of sunshine and watching the happy faces of the LGBT community celebrating in the party atmosphere, both Adam and Tommy were ready for some quiet and something to eat back at the hotel.

Over dinner with the others, Tommy encouraged Adam to join Terrance and Johnny for a few drinks at some of the gay bars and clubs Miami had to offer. Under the combined onslaught, he crumbled and by the time he was dressed and ready, Adam was looking forward to dancing the night away. Pressing a swift kiss to Tommy’s lips, he grinned “don’t wait up!”

Forcing a chuckle, Tommy grinned back “have fun Babyboy…”

As the door closed behind him, Tommy tried not to think about Adam pressed up close and sweaty as he ground his body against some willing twink… _it was Jenny Woo’s all over again…_

Try as he might, Tommy couldn’t shake that fear and was still wide awake when Adam stumbled through the door some time after three. Feigning sleep, he lay still as Adam tripped over his own feet, giggled as he stripped his clothes off and fell into bed. Tiny drunken snores announced his entry to dreamland. Tommy turned on to his back, staring up into the dark; it was going to be a long night.

Breakfast saw a rather-worse-for-wear Adam groaning as he washed down painkillers with hot strong coffee in an attempt to shift the killer hangover before his interview on the beach. Despite the hangover, however, he looked drop-dead-gorgeous in a simple black shirt, open at the neck and the sleeves rolled up, and classic black jeans. His freshly cut and highlighted hair, artfully spiked for that finishing touch.

With gentle prodding from Tommy, Adam ate a little fresh fruit and a pancake. A second mug of coffee and he was ready for the interview…the interview where he would lay his broken heart out for the world to see.

“Ready?”

Adam stood up “No…”

Tommy held his hand out as they stepped into the elevator. Entwining their fingers, Tommy squeezed gently “you’ll be fine – all you’re going to do is confirm you are currently single. The interviewer from Route 7’s been prompted to ask you about peanut cups and it’ll run from there as the very last bit of the interview. They won’t pursue it as we’ve given them the exclusive for tomorrow with South Florida Gay News… You can do this, Babyboy…”

Adam lifted their joined hands to press a kiss to Tommy’s knuckles “Love you, Tommy Joe…”

“You too…” _with all that I am…_

For a moment, the atmosphere was intense.

Needing to lift the mood, Tommy fished his new gold, mirror lens sunglasses out of his shirt pocket. “Here, have these…they’ll give you some protection against the sun and they’ll hide the partying evidence from last night!”

Grinning, Adam immediately put them on.

Once at the beach brown-haired Tommy melted into the crowd.

Adam sparkled in the sunlight, confident, sexy and holding the assembled mass of media and fans in the palm of his hand. They laughed as he politely refused to remove his glasses so they could see his beautiful blue eyes, admitting to partying rather too well at Movo and Twist – two of the most popular local clubs.

Tommy held his breath as the interviewer glanced at his watch and then at the list of twitter questions. “So, I have to ask, are Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups still the jam?”

Chuckling, Adam nodded “Yeah, but I’m trying to cut back a bit on my chocolate, so don’t put any ideas into my head!”

“Okay, so, nice segue, who is the peanut butter to your chocolate these days?”

“I don’t have any official peanut butter to my chocolate if that’s what you’re asking. I’m a single man right now…” Adam smiled disarmingly.

“Single man?” There was a collective intake of breath from the audience.

“I’m just the chocolate…” Adam paused thoughtfully, “or the peanut butter…”

As promised, the interviewer tapped his ear “Okay, I’m told we’re over time and we need to wrap this up. Thank you, Adam, a pleasure as always, and enjoy your role as Grand Marshall. We’re looking forward to your concert tomorrow and congratulations on your Key to the City…”

Stepping to the side, he exchanged a few quiet words with Bradford who shook his hand and nodded. A job well done.

Adam smiled and posed for press photos, ignoring any shouted questions. They’d get their answers at tomorrow’s exclusive.

With pictures done, Tommy, Adam and Bradford returned to the hotel. Adam sent a message to Sauli to confirm stage one completed. Seconds later, a single thumbs up icon reply beeped. Sighing softly, Adam returned to his room with Tommy to catch up on some sleep.

Hours later, social media was awash with a pap-taken picture of Adam stood at his hotel room window, staring out at the carnival atmosphere with a wistful expression on his face, clad in a white bathrobe.

 **Lonely Lambert watches the loved-up masses as his heart breaks** just one of the headlines doing the rounds.

Fortunately the pap lens missed Tommy, without his wig, stood just behind Adam, arms open to wrap him into a comforting embrace just seconds after that picture was taken.

Adam may have come through the first stage of the public break up, but it hurt like fuck…

Later that afternoon, they ventured out, many more stares than previously, but mercifully no-one bombarded Adam with questions. It seemed the presence of ‘staff’ was enough to dissuade the tricky questions…for now…

After a delicious dinner in a local restaurant, Tommy and Bradford returned to the hotel, leaving the others to find some dance action.

Adam was back by eleven, cuddling into Tommy, a little tipsy but happier than he’d been earlier. He launched into a detailed description of their night, his voice lulling Tommy to sleep with a smile on his lips.

Day three was Adam’s Key to the City presentation and the performance. It was also the main parade and with Adam as this year’s Grand Marshall, he’d be judging the costumes and floats and presenting the prizes…once he’d given his exclusive interview.

Clad in a body-hugging black vest, shorts and deck shoes, he looked well rested, relaxed and oozed sex appeal as he flashed a smile at the interviewer, shaking the man’s hand warmly as they sat down.

Bradford and Tommy sat to one side, offering moral support…

“So, welcome again, Adam. Yesterday you told us you were single and as you saw from twitter and the rest of social media, there’s a huge amount of interest in hearing more…” he paused “you were with Sauli for a long time…”

“Yeah, we met in Finland in 2010 after my concert there and we just hit it off. We’re still really good friends” Adam grinned “I know that sounds so cliché but it’s totally true – we had coffee and a bagel just the other day and I’m sure we’ll still meet up when we can. He’s a great person and we’ve had an amazing couple of years together but it’s been kind of on its way out the last couple of months. Things have just run their course…”

“Any regrets?”

“None, I wouldn’t have changed anything…it’s been really good…”

“That’s always nice to hear, and we wish you both well in the future. Now, what can you tell us about your plans for today?”

Adam breathed a sigh of relief as the interviewer moved on to talk about his charity and LGBT activist roles, the honour of his Key to the City and his plans for new music.

He left the room with his head high, a spring in his step and a smile on his face.

**Stage two complete. Over to you. Good luck! A x**

The rest of the day flew past, Adam’s award ceremony drawing massive crowds of well-wishers and media, followed by the amazing parade of floats and walking entries. Someone gave him a pot of bubbles and he had a fun time blowing them as the different displays rolled on by.

The start of the concert was delayed by technical failure, the result being all acts having to drop one track from their planned setlist to fit everyone in before the fireworks. A quick reshuffle with Terrance and Johnny followed as they noted the new set down for the backing tracks.

The technical hitches continued throughout the evening and time available was down to four songs by the time they reached the headline performer. Taking it all in his stride, Adam threw himself into _Trespassing, Naked Love_ and _Pop that Lock,_ encouraging everyone to join in.

After a brief absence from the stage, Adam returned for his encore _Whataya Want From Me,_ the final roars of appreciation and applause ringing out just as the first of the fireworks exploded into silver and blue stars above their heads.

It was a fitting end to an action packed few days.

Back at the hotel, Adam checked his twitter mentions. As expected, the thing had gone into meltdown after his interview had aired, all the news pages picking it up and running their own versions. Fans had responded with a mass outpouring of love and support.

Overwhelmed, Adam scrolled down his feed before responding **Love you all!!**

Back home again, they fell into a routine. Adam continued to write for his third album, Tommy did his own thing, spending time with Sutan, Brad and Bradford sometimes at Adam’s, other times back at his apartment. At night he slept at Adam’s.

In the guest room.

He encouraged Adam to get out and mingle, to be seen and interact…a smile far better than a frown… _live your life Babyboy…_

Sauli had confirmed their split in a simple statement, his comments mirroring Adam’s.

Tommy was now at the airport, waiting for Sauli’s flight to arrive. Watching the happy faces, hugs and kisses as loved ones were reunited, Tommy’s thoughts drifted. Many a time he’d been tempted to blurt out his true feelings for Adam, but somehow, it just never seemed to be the _right_ time… _too soon after…_

_Besides…what if he said no?_

_Best friend forever Adam was so much better than no Adam…_

So, whenever Adam had a low moment, Tommy hugged him and assured him he’d find love again, that special _one_ was out there, but he’d always hold Sauli in his heart…  

“Tomm-eeeeeee!” Sauli’s distinctive accent across the arrivals hall rescued Tommy from his mental meanderings and they hugged tightly.

“I have missed you, minun ystavani”

“You too” Tommy grinned. They headed for the exit.

“How is Adam?”

“He’s good, and looking forward to seeing you…”

Sauli stopped “I will have to collect all of the rest of my things. Will that be too sad to do for us?”

“It’ll be fine, I packed everything like we said last week and it’s in the den. I can take him out if it’s easier…”

They resumed their trawl towards the parking lot, leaving the question unanswered. A lot had happened in a month…

The reunion was uncomfortable for all of three milliseconds, the two holding their hands out to shake formally before crushing each other in a fierce hug, “sorry, forgive me” “I’m so sorry…” over-lapping as both spoke at once.

Tommy watched Adam’s face, so many emotions chasing across it…fear, hurt, relief, joy and love… _love…he still loved Sauli…_

Tommy backed out of the room, biting his lip so hard he tasted the bitter tang of blood. After putting the coffee on, he slumped limply against the counter, trying not to think about what could be happening in the other room.

“Are you still breathing out there?” Adam’s voice broke through Tommy’s mental shutdown and he looked up.

Two smiling faces appeared at the door.

“As the coffee wasn’t coming to us, we’ve come to the coffee!” They closed in on him, folding him into a group hug. “Thank you, baby…” Adam kissed his cheek “we’re all good, right Sau?”

“We are friends for all of our lifetime”

Tommy’s relief was palpable and he let out a half-sob, half gasp which morphed into a strangled giggle as they turned on him to tickle him into submission.

Hysterical laughter ensued as all three ended up in a heap on the kitchen floor.

Never had laughter felt so good…

Allison’s party was a huge success, good friends, music and laughter. Adam and Sauli posed for a couple of fun pictures with them first pointing at each other and then strangling each other, both posting them to their IG accounts and tweeting them. The fandom was reassured and a mass outpouring of love followed; all was well…

Sauli departed two days later, having collected all of his belongings from the den and confirmed his temporary address as the ground floor apartment in Adam’s same building, renting a room from a mutual friend.

Adam continued to write for era three, some of the music he was creating enough to bring them both to tears as he shared his new work with Tommy. Adam had poured his soul into these new songs and they were simply breathtaking.

Lee’s birthday saw another reunion of the gang, Sutan working his magic on Tommy’s face and frock to bring Kiki back out to play. Lee howled with laughter as he was waltzed around the barn at his surprise-but-not-a-surprise party. Gotta love kids and their inability to keep secrets…

Tommy danced with everyone until his feet protested at the punishment in his killer heels and he dropped into a chair, relaxed and carefree. Seconds later, Adam landed beside him, scooped him off the chair and resettled him on his lap.

It was warm and comfortable and how they remained for the rest of the night.    

Adam’s phone rang at early o-fucking-clock the next morning. He shoved Tommy, crashed out beside him. Both were still fully dressed “Tell them I’m dead!” He dropped the phone into Tommy’s hands and flopped back against the pillow.

“Hello?”

“Adam? It’s Nile…”

“Nile Rodgers? Hang on, I’ll kick him…” Sounds of muffled scuffling echoed down the line to a bemused Nile. “Adam, shift your butt…it’s _Nile Rodgers_ … _”_ Tommy’s voice was awed despite the thudding head “ ** _the_** _Nile Rodgers_ ”

“Nile…do you have any idea what the time is?”

“Time you were up and in my studio…”

Adam sat up “Did I miss something? Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t know we had…”

Nile’s chuckle was loud enough to reach Tommy’s ears “Son, you didn’t miss anything. I’ve been working on a song with Avicii overnight and, frankly, Adam, I need you…like _now…”_

“I’m in the middle of a massive hangover…friend’s birthday last night…we kinda partied…not sure I’m going to be any use…”

“How soon can you get here?”

“Tomorrow?” Adam groaned, “my head’s killing me!”

“It has to be now, buddy…today, soon as you can…”

“Give me two hours, I’ll get some caffeine inside me and hit the treadmill. I’ll be there…”

“Counting on it, Adam. See you soon, buddy”

Adam hung up and looked at Tommy, “I gotta shift this hangover and get this body fit to sing…”

“You hit the shower, I’ll get the coffee on…”

Exactly two hours later, Adam was at Nile’s studio, humming the tune to the new song Nile had composed with Avicii. Twenty minutes after that he’d written the verses to go with the chorus and ten minutes after that he sang the fuck outta the whole thing as Nile rocked his disco funk on guitar.

Playback had them all tapping their feet.

They’d nailed it in one take.

Back at home, Adam played the song for Tommy and the two of them danced madly around the living room. Falling into Adam’s arms, Tommy laughed as he was spun around and around until they fell to the floor in a dizzy heap.

It was fun and carefree and simply perfect…

“I don’t know how I’d have made it without you, my beautiful pretty kitty” Adam cupped Tommy’s face, gazing into his eyes “you are the best friend a man could ever have and I’m so thankful you came into my life…”

He dropped a kiss to the end of Tommy’s nose before wrapping his arms back around the trim bundle of blond guitarist to hold him even closer.

Tommy melted into the embrace, surrendering his entire being to the sensation of everything _Adam_ filling his consciousness. Burying his face into Adam’s chest, his head replayed the conversation he’d had with Sutan earlier; a conversation where Sutan had suggested gently it was time for Tommy to step out the friendship role and share his feelings.

“You know he loves you…has always loved you, Vayvee, but you need to make him see you as a _boyfriend_ …”

Tommy took a deep breath and lifted his head.

_Now…_

“You know I’m never leaving you right?”

“I know, and that’s what makes us such a perfect team. I can tell you anything and you love me anyway. We’re soulmates, and without any of that romantic crap to get in the way, we’ll be together for always. You’re a straight guy who absolutely _gets me_ and you don’t know how perfect that is… _you’re perfect and I would never change that…”_

Tommy’s heart sank… _straight…_

_‘cause when you never see the light, it’s hard to know which one of us is caving…_

He opened his mouth, unsure of his next move, hoping for some stroke of magic to make it right…to show Adam how it really was…

His phone burst into _Enter Sandman_ and he dug into his pocket. “Ratliff…” his tone was a tad on the snappy side.

“Ooooh, what’s got your goat?” Brad chuckled “Is the old man giving you grief?”

“Something like that…” Tommy sighed softly, closing his eyes as Adam’s arms tightened around him.

“I may be able to help! Sutan called and said you needed your Fairy Bradmother…so _Cheeks_ at your service. I think we can help each other. You still okay for our script read-through tomorrow?”

“Yeah, don’t forget to bring the coffee!”

“Three?”

“Nah, just us, Adam’s got a top secret meeting for a new project…”

“Tell Cheeks all!”

“I can’t!”

“I’ll tickle it outta you!”

“I can’t tell you…”

Adam grabbed his phone off him “He can’t tell because he doesn’t know! It’s top secret!” Adam laughed as Brad swore profusely.

“So much for pillow talk”

“We’re not like that! You’ll just have to be patient like Tommy…and make sure you’re still there when I get home.

“Yessir!”

“You might just get your answers…but only if you really want to know…”

“Bastard, I’ll still be there, now give me my boy back!”

Handing the phone over to Tommy, Adam grinned “I think I worked him into a frenzy”

Brad snorted in Tommy’s ear “In his dreams maybe! I’ll see you tomorrow. Caio!”

He hung up. Tommy grinned and shoved the phone back into his pocket.

Normality resumed for the remainder of the evening as they ate take-out Thai and curled up on the sofa to watch a movie.

Tommy crawled into his bed, hopeful for the new day tomorrow.

Adam was up and preparing breakfast when Tommy woke, the delicious aroma of frying bacon wafting down the hallway. Relishing the thoughts of the day ahead, Tommy lay back against the pillow and daydreamed. He’d just thrown the duvet off and swung his legs over the side when Adam tapped on his door and pushed it open.

Tommy’s jaw dropped at the laden tray Adam was carrying.

“Back into bed, _now_!” Adam grinned as Tommy obediently settled back against his pillows. Pressing a soft kiss to Tommy’s forehead, Adam placed the tray on his lap and unloaded the juice and coffee mug to the bedside table. “I’m off now, enjoy your breakfast, baby, and your script stuff and gossip with Brad. I’ll see you both later…”

“Thanks Babyboy, this is awesome. Now go show the fuckers that Lambert rules…”

Adam’s chuckles filled the room, drifting away down the hallway as headed out.

Breakfast enjoyed, showered and dressed, Tommy indulged in a free jamming session, picking some of Adam’s new tunes to play. He was still grinning when Brad arrived, coffees in hand and his bag over his shoulder.

Over coffee they discussed Tommy’s dilemma and different ways he could change Adam’s perception of him… Narrowing their madcap ideas down to three, they rang Sutan for his and Raja’s advice.

Slowly, they came up with a workable plan…

Plan made, they moved on to the order of the day, namely, Brad’s _Husbands_ script which needed a read through and some editing, plus some direction notes.

Brad took Tommy’s hand and led him over to the window. Tommy peered at his script. “I don’t understand, why is this happening to me?”

Brad glanced out of the window “Adam’s back…” He squeezed Tommy’s shoulder, “You’re a very special person… _very_ special to me…”

“Oh…you mean, like _that kind of special?”_ Tommy’s phone rang. He ignored it.

Moments later Brad’s rang. He left the answer service to pick it up.

“Are you sure you want to do this now?” Brad reached out to cup Tommy’s face with one hand. His other hand slid around Tommy’s waist and pulled him in closer. “It’s not too late to back out…” They leant in closer, lips just a millimetre apart…

The door practically flew off its hinges as Adam stormed into the house. “ _What the fuck_ do you think you’re doing?” Three huge strides and he was alongside the two men who looked at him like he was crazy. “Get your fucking hands _off_ him!” Adam’s eyes flashed dangerously, possessive green goblins and red mist colliding as he glared poisoned daggers at Brad.

“We’re just getting…” Brad pointed at his script.

“It was a rhetorical question! I don’t need to hear it! How _could_ you? You know how I feel about…” Adam snapped angrily across Brad’s mild explanation, cutting off in the middle before he said too much. _Tommy’s my best friend, the best friend I still love…and he’s straight right?_ Neil’s “is he?” echoing in his head for the millionth time…

As Adam fell silent, lost in confused contemplation, Tommy stroked Brad’s cheek softly and turned the other man’s face back to his own, “now where were we?” he murmured before capturing Brad’s lips in a sweet and gentle kiss, one hand sliding around to tangle in his hair as the other settled in the small of his back to press him in closer.

Adam’s mouth dropped open; horror, shock and jealousy bubbling over into a furious crescendo that had him dragging the two apart before he realised what he was doing. “What the _fuck_ are you doing?” he bellowed, pressing up close and personal in Tommy’s face, fury and hurt and a multitude of other emotions tangling wildly in his head.

“Kissing Brad! What the fuck does it look like?” Tommy dropped his gaze from Adam’s eyes, the raw anguish too much to bear.

“But…but he’s a _man…_ ” Adam’s voice dropped to a low whisper.

“No shit, Sherlock!” Sarcasm made him sound braver than he felt… _what if this doesn’t work…fuckshitfuck! What the fuck was I thinking?_

“But…but… _but you’re straight…_ ”

Adam stumbled backwards until the edge of the easy chair hit his legs and he collapsed into it, his brain working furiously to find some coherent words that could express his confusion. He gasped as Tommy dropped into his lap and cupped his face tenderly. “Straight- _ish_ is a better term, I mean, even the straightest ruler can bend a little in the right hands…” he took a deep breath… _this is it…finally…but what if…fuckfuckfuck…just do it…_ He met Adam’s gaze, “it’s not men, it’s **_you_** , just you… ** _only_** you… _you’re the one that I want_!”

The expression in Adam’s eyes was unreadable; so many emotions flashing through them it made Tommy dizzy and he gulped nervously… _what if he’d blown it completely…fucked up their friendship forever…why hadn’t he been content with what they h…_ Adam’s mouth crashing on his for a kiss so full of passion it effectively melted his brain, prevented any further self-torture. When they finally came up for air, Tommy’s lips were tingling and he was a molten mass of desire, wrapped tightly in Adam’s arms.

“ _Really?_ All that drama and you come out with a song from fucking _Grease!_ ” Brad huffed indignantly despite the triumphant grin that stretched from ear to ear.

Without taking his eyes off Tommy, Adam grinned “you still here, Bell?”

“My work here is done! Coming to a script near you soon!” Pausing to kiss both men on the cheek, Brad slung his bag over his shoulder and let himself out.

Neither saw him go, lost in another endless kiss that left them panting and breathless when they broke apart. “So I guess that makes you Sandy, then, because I’m definitely Danny!” Adam rubbed their noses together, his eyes radiating a tenderness that melted Tommy’s heart.

“Fucker! Just don’t expect me to wear those spray-on black pants…” he moved slightly to let his lips brush against Adam’s ear “but…if you’re filled with affection you’re too shy to convey…” he hummed the missing words before finishing with a hoarse, want-laden whisper “ _feel_ your way…”

Adam’s arms tightened around him and lifted him bodily from the chair, carrying him purposefully to the bedroom…  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUn3_cdxkT0 too much love will kill you
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fn0nLAm3rnY 1000 years


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year <3

Once through the door, Adam laid Tommy carefully on the bed and gazed down at him, the intensity of his stare sending pulses of heat through Tommy’s entire body as Adam’s eyes devoured him.

“You’re so beautiful…” The bed dipped as Adam climbed next to him, leaning closer to stroke a trembling finger down Tommy’s face, from his forehead, down his nose before tracing around the outline of his mouth.

A whimper escaped Tommy’s lips, prompting Adam to close the gap between them for a long lingering kiss, tongues swirling shyly before exploring each other’s mouths with increasing confidence.

Pulling back, Adam smiled at a breathless Tommy, his lips pink and kiss swollen, eyes wide…

“Tell me to stop and I will…we do this at your pace…”

Tommy nodded, heart melting at the mix of passion and tenderness in Adam’s expression.

Sliding back off the bed, Adam removed his boots and then Tommy’s, placing them neatly against the wall. He grinned as Tommy’s gaze followed his every movement, nervous anticipation evident in those liquid brown eyes.

Returning to the bed, Adam stretched out beside him, snaking one arm under Tommy’s neck to bring him cuddled in close.

This was familiar territory and Tommy relaxed, shifting closer into the embrace as they tangled their legs together.

“Now just _feel…this is all about you…_ ”With his free hand, Adam slotted their fingers together, bringing Tommy’s hand up to kiss each of his fingers softly, before sucking Tommy’s little finger into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip and lightly grazing his teeth over the joint.

Tommy moaned, his entire circulation rerouting southwards.

Adam chuckled around the captive digit, sucking harder to draw another low moan from the man in his arms. Releasing Tommy’s finger with a loud pop, Adam reclaimed Tommy’s mouth, their lips moving sweetly against each other as tongues danced a slow rumba and Adam’s hand roamed freely over the top of Tommy’s clothes.

Lost in blissful sensation, Tommy arched instinctively towards Adam’s touch, nerve endings tingling from the tips of his toes to the roots of his hair.

As their kiss deepened, Adam shifted to sit astride Tommy’s body, both hands now caressing his face as Tommy tangled his fingers in Adam’s t-shirt.

The focus of Tommy’s world narrowed; it was just him and Adam…right here, right now…

Adam dragged his lips from Tommy’s, moving to kiss and nibble his way down the side of Tommy’s neck, soothing every sharp nip with a swipe of his tongue, the slow drag of moist warmth sending Tommy’s senses into overdrive.

Tommy moaned and panted as Adam reached the crook between neck and shoulder and bit down, sucking a deep purple bruise to the surface. Lapping at Tommy’s abused flesh, Adam alternated wet kisses with ghosting his warm breath over the surface of Tommy’s skin to chase a rush of goose bumps and delicious shivers down his spine.

Trailing his fingers lightly down Tommy’s side, Adam grabbed his t-shirt, bunching it into his hands. Slowly, he pushed the fabric up, revealing Tommy’s milky white flesh. Their gazes locked, that same familiar spark cracking the air between them…

…only now they could see where it took them…

Tugging the t-shirt over Tommy’s head, Adam flung it away, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on Tommy’s.

Reaching up, Tommy pulled Adam back down for another kiss, tangling his hands in Adam’s hair as Adam stroked his face tenderly with his thumbs. Breathless, they broke apart long minutes later, panting softy, lips barely a whisper apart.

Sitting back up across Tommy’s hips, Adam’s gaze took in the freshly re-dyed blond locks, shorn on one side but left slightly longer for that velvety soft strokability, his trademark long bangs on the other side now strewn over the pillow like a golden halo. Tommy’s cheeks were flushed adorably and his eyes swirled with a mix of heady desire and shy innocence.

His mouth; those wonderful pouting and kissable lips, were glistening pink and swollen from their endless kisses… Adam caught his breath at the sheer beauty of the man beneath him… _his_ pretty kitty…

Tommy squirmed under the intense stare, the movement sending excited messages to the existing gathering already in full party mode below his belt. Arching his back, Tommy gasped as Adam ground down and twin hot arousals brushed together.

Grinning wickedly, Adam repeated his hip rolls until Tommy was a writhing, whimpering mess, wanton moans dropping from between those perfect lips in an unending stream. Recapturing Tommy’s mouth, Adam’s tongue mapped the contours with possessive intent, one hand sliding around the back of Tommy’s neck, the other reaching for Tommy’s hand to entwine their fingers.

Time ceased to exist as they lost themselves in each other…

Pulling back from Tommy’s lips, Adam kissed a trail down the side of his neck, pausing to refresh the vivid purple bruise…the branding marking Tommy as _his…_ adding a matching one on the opposite side before soothing the marks with long slow licks of his tongue and soft puffs of warm breath.

Tommy had long ceased to be coherent, his pupils blown with want, unintelligible mumbles the only sounds he was capable of.

Surveying his handiwork as Tommy came undone, Adam shuffled backwards, the movement sending delicious sparks of red hot desire buzzing through Tommy’s veins and his eyelids fluttered as he arched that beautiful throat. Momentarily distracted, Adam took in the view as Tommy bit his lip, lost in the bliss of sensation.

Keeping one hand firmly clasped in Tommy’s, Adam traced a fingertip from the hollow in Tommy’s throat, down through the smattering of fine downy hair on his chest before circling his nipples, teasing his tender flesh.

Tommy’s body trembled beneath him.

“You okay, baby?” Adam’s throaty whisper, hot against his ear sent fresh goose bumps racing over Tommy’s skin and he moaned, meeting Adam’s intense gaze as he nodded.

Adam’s breath hitched at the love and trust blazing from Tommy’s eyes, bringing their joined hands to his lips to brush his knuckles with a gentle kiss. Tommy arched his body towards Adam’s touch, a keening whimper escaping as Adam retraced his fingertip trail, this time with feather-light kisses, the barely-there touch of his lips combined with the brush of day-old stubble dragging a fresh wave of breathy moans from Tommy’s mouth.

Reaching Tommy’s left nipple, Adam swirled his tongue around the nub of flesh, grazing it lightly with his teeth and soothing again with his tongue, before blowing softly on the aroused peak.

Tommy’s body shuddered with pleasure, his grip tightening on Adam’s fingers as the other hand twisted in the sheets.

Releasing the left nipple with a final wet kiss, Adam licked a path across to repeat the experience on the right.

Tommy left the planet to float amongst the stars as he tumbled towards sensory overload, their joined hands the only thing keeping him grounded…

Adam’s soft kisses continued southwards, following the trail of hair down across Tommy’s stomach to his belly button where he paused to flick his tongue into the dip, huffing tiny breaths of warm air onto the damp skin to ignite another burst of red-hot current zinging through Tommy’s body.

Any further progress was thwarted by Tommy’s jeans, Adam licking a wet path just inside the waistband before pulling back.

Tommy’s whine of protest was cut off as Adam crushed their mouths together. Tommy sucked hungrily on Adam’s tongue as his body cried out for more, his free hand scrabbling under the hem of Adam’s t-shirt to reach the warm flesh below.

_Mine…I can touch him now…mine…_

Without breaking their kiss, Adam slid off Tommy’s body to stretch out beside him, his hand resting flat and heavy on Tommy’s stomach with his fingertips just touching the buckle of Tommy’s belt.

As if in answer to the unasked question, Tommy pushed his hips up towards Adam’s hand, gasping a needy ““yessssssss” as they paused to recharge their air supply.

His fingers slow and sure, Adam attacked first the buckle, then the button, swallowing Tommy’s gasp in another endless kiss as he slid the zip down and his hand brushed over the hot swelling through the fabric. Tommy bucked into the touch, his grip on their joined hands effectively crushing Adam’s captive digits as Adam’s free hand returned to rest just inside the open top of Tommy’s jeans.

Kiss followed blissful kiss as each lost himself in the other, finally pulling apart when the need for oxygen became a life prolonging necessity.

Gently untangling their fingers, Adam shuffled down the bed on his knees, leaning over to tug Tommy’s jeans down. Tommy lifted his hips, breath hitching as his legs were exposed to the air.

He shivered.

Adam’s body, long, lean and reassuringly familiar, covered Tommy’s, warmth wrapping around Tommy’s naked skin. For long moments Tommy clung tightly to Adam’s top until the shivering had passed.

_Adam’s t-shirt…fuck this, he was wearing way too many clothes…_

He tugged at Adam’s top “off!” the command bringing a tender smile to Adam’s face. Without moving from his current position, Adam wriggled his t-shirt up and pulled it off, flinging it aside. Tommy moaned wantonly at the tantalising friction, just this side of not enough as Adam’s hips ground down against his body.

Wrapping his arms back around his trim bundle of guitarist, both gasped at the sensation of bare flesh to bare flesh, the delicious warmth sending Tommy’s senses into raptures as Adam kissed him, passions rising as he owned Tommy’s mouth…

Pulling away, Adam rubbed their noses together “Now, where was I?” The heat in his eyes sent another surge of want charging through Tommy’s veins and desire throbbed, swelling impressively in his pants. Adam chuckled wickedly and moved quickly, so quickly Tommy barely had time to draw breath before Adam’s mouth was picking up the path from where he’d left off previously…

After a brief dip of his tongue into Tommy’s belly button, Adam planted wet kisses lower, following that trail of hair…closer and _closer…_

_…fuck…more…c’mon…fuckfuckfuck…_

Adam’s hot breath ghosting over the bulging, rapidly dampening fabric had Tommy’s hips jerking upwards, desperately seeking contact, whimpers and curses intermingling with low guttural moans as Adam teased him to distraction.

Tommy’s heart beat double-time when Adam hooked a thumb into the waistband of his pants, tugging the left side down to reveal the full glory of his tattooed hip bone. For a split second their eyes met, passion and feral want reflected back from lust blown depths. Time stood still as nothing existed beyond the feel of Adam’s hands and Adam’s mouth against his heated skin…

Adam’s tongue flicked out to trace the flames with the lightest of touches. Tommy hissed at the contact as fires of desire thrummed under his skin and he scrabbled at Adam’s denim clad thigh, urging him to move faster.

Adam grinned at the increasing desperation echoing in Tommy’s incoherent babbling. Taking a breath, he bit down hard, drawing a wail of pain-pleasure from Tommy’s kiss swollen lips and a violent arch of his hips.

Chuckling, Adam pressed a light kiss to the fresh mark before he moved on to the soft flesh of Tommy’s inner thigh, warm wet trails of his tongue leaving Tommy shuddering from sensory overload as Adam worked his way down to Tommy’s calf. He paused to peel off Tommy’s guitar playing rock cat sock, before sucking each of his toes in turn, moving across to repeat on his right foot and back up to finish with a matching purple bruise on the right hip bone.

Tommy whimpered, eyes closed, head arched back…lost to sensation…

Satisfied, Adam slid off the bed once more and shimmied out of the rest of his clothes, leaving them in a tangled heap on the floor.

Pressing the lightest of kisses to Tommy’s mouth, he curled his fingers into the elastic at the top of Tommy’s underwear and tugged them down his legs, tossing them aside to leave them both completely naked.

For a moment Adam gazed adoringly at the vision before him. He climbed carefully back on to the bed, running his hands lightly over Tommy’s body, from his shoulders…down…

Tommy’s eyes flew open, heart racing and blood pounding and he wondered fleetingly what it would be like…Liz had tried it a couple of times before stating she hated it so that was off the agenda thereafter…Eloise, his first girlfriend had gone down enthusiastically as they made out in his car, but in her enthusiasm she’d banged her head on the steering wheel and almost bitten it off…no the memories weren’t so hot…

_…fuckfuckfuuuuuuuuuuck…_

Tommy’s random thoughts shuddered to a halt as Adam’s mouth finally closed over him and he was surrounded in warm moist heat, a strangled gasp of pleasure escaping from his lips as Adam’s hand reached up to entwine with his own.

Tommy writhed and trembled under the mind blowing attentions of Adam’s tongue, dazed synapses surrendering as Adam hummed around him, the vibrations increasing the sensation beyond all earthly description, setting his soul aflame…

Tommy felt his climax building, starting from the tips of his toes and spreading up and out like cracks in ice as delicious tendrils of fire ignited in every cell of his body, nerve endings stretched taut as wave after wave of indescribable pleasure washed over him and he exploded, his body shaking and bucking wildly as he fell off the precipice to float amongst the stars.

Adam continued to suck until Tommy had stopped shuddering, sliding back up his body to capture his lips in a searing kiss, their tongues tangling wildly as Tommy tasted himself for the first time.

A blissful sense of warmth and tingling flooded Tommy’s body as he came down from his orgasmic high to bask in the afterglow and he cuddled into the embrace as Adam urged them under the duvet and wrapped Tommy into his arms.

Tommy’s ragged breathing slowed and he felt the heavy weight of Adam’s body nudging against his side as Adam tugged him in closer. Tommy reached for him tentatively, only to have his hand battled gently aside “Uh uh! This was all about you… _your_ pleasure…”

Tommy’s eyes suddenly filled with tears as emotion overwhelmed him “that was… _just…it was…fucking fantastic…and I can’t…fuck…just…I lo…fuck…_ ” Tommy gave up on words and crushed his mouth to Adam’s, fingers tangling in Adam’s hair as he poured his feelings into the kiss… _I fucking love you…_

Breaking apart after long pleasurable minutes, Adam settled Tommy’s head on his chest, one arm wrapped tightly around to keep him close, the other hand resting on Adam’s freckled stomach with their fingers entwined and their legs tangled together.

“You okay, baby?” Adam’s tender smile had Tommy’s heart melting still further and he nodded.

“Fucking beyond…” The response drew a chuckle and a soft kiss pressed to his hair.

For a moment they lay in silence.

“How long?”

“Huh?”

“How long have you been straight- _ish_?”

“I think I loved you from that first day of my audition…” Tommy sighed softly as Adam’s eyebrows rose “oh, I didn’t realise it at first – I’d never had cause to doubt I was anything but straight…you’re the only one…”

“You never said anything…”

“By the time I realised, you were with Sauli…”

“Oh fuck! All that stuff I said about him being the _one_ and marriage and…”

“I wanted you to be happy…and he made you happy so that was good enough for me and I had our friendship to sustain me…It helped that he was a good guy!”

“He was… _is…_ ”

“I was going to tell you so many times during Glamnation but either I bottled it or something got in the way…” Tommy sighed wistfully “Sutan got so cross with me, but he’s been fucking awesome, even drying my tears when I’ve been a complete sappy girl…and I’ve had Raja to whip my arse when I was ready to give up…”

“She’s one fearsome lady!  So who else knew?”

“Brad…of course. He called me on it that very first time I met him…”

“I love Brad…” Adam chuckled, laughter fading to be suddenly serious “I mean…I _don’t_ love him…”

“Just shut up, fucker, and kiss me…” Tommy grinned into the kiss as his tongue explored Adam’s mouth possessively, leaving them both breathless when they finally came up for air.  

He cuddled back into Adam’s embrace.

“Isaac and Sophie…Ashley, Braffy, Neil…”

“ _Neil?_ As in my sarcastic little shit brother, _Neil_?”

“Yep, he put me to bed one night after I got fucking rat-arsed and apparently I told him _everything…_ ” Tommy rolled his eyes as Adam gaped like a goldfish “He was really understanding…”

“He’s going to be so fucking smug!”

“You’ll just have to suck it up…”

“Thought I’d just done that…”

“C’m here…”

They reached for each other and conversation was forgotten…


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost there - either one more chapter, or one more plus an epilogue [depends on how distracted I get LOL!] As always, thank you for reading. :))

Tommy woke, warm and content in Adam’s arms and for a moment, thought he was still dreaming…

… _naked in Adam’s bed with Adam’s face buried in his neck so his warm breath ghosted against Tommy’s skin…it had to be a fucking dream…_

Cautiously lifting his hand, Tommy reached up to the fleshy part of his arm and pinched himself… ** _hard_** …

It fucking hurt!

He wasn’t dreaming.

So, if he wasn’t dreaming it meant… ** _he was fucking naked in Adam’s bed…_**

His head helpfully replayed the events from earlier that day, including full, high definition and slow motion close ups of their more intimate pursuits… _fuck…hot as fuck…_

His circulation re-routed and it took all his willpower to resist sliding his hands down to play… He bit his lip and closed his eyes, trying not to squirm and disturb the sleeping man beside him.

 A soft chuckle against his neck made him jump and he opened his eyes to see Adam watching him, fond amusement on his lovely freckled face.

“Having fun, baby?” Adam pressed in for a kiss.

“’m trying to decide if it’s real or if I’m having the best fucking dream of my life…”

Adam’s expression softened and his eyes sparkled dreamily as he tugged Tommy even closer into his arms. “It’s real… _we’re real…_ ”

Their lips met in the sweetest of kisses, arms wrapped around each other as kiss followed kiss and time ceased to exist.

Finally surfacing, lips pink and glistening, both somewhat breathless, they fell back against the pillows and cuddled together. Adam nuzzled into Tommy’s hair, breathing in that unique scent that was just _Tommy… **his…**_

Twin contented sighs echoed softly…

“I never dared imagine I’d get to hold you naked in my bed again…” Adam mumbled against Tommy’s ear, sending corpuscles dancing wildly off course as warm breath relit the touch papers of desire.

About to reach for Adam’s hand…arm…leg…any part of him…just wanting to touch his bare flesh…to stroke that perfect freckled skin…Tommy’s happy love-hazed brain replayed Adam’s words and he froze.

“ _Again?”_ Tommy frowned “What do you mean, _again?”_

“My fucking big mouth…” Adam grimaced and reached for Tommy’s hand, colour draining from his face as Tommy shuffled away from him, hurt and horrified realisation colliding with disappointment as one emotion after another chased across his Pretty Kitty’s face.

“Amsterdam was _real_ …it fucking happened _and_ you remember it…” Tommy’s voice pitched low, a hint of steel creeping in to send a cold shiver down Adam’s spine.

It wasn’t a question.

Adam cursed himself and his fucking thoughtless comment. Whatever he said now could have serious repercussions.

For a long moment, silence hung heavy in the air.

Adam lifted his head to meet Tommy’s eyes…

Eyes that shone with unshed tears.

“I’m sorry. Yes, it was real…but…”

“You deliberately made me think it was all in my head…that I was sad and pathetic for thinking we might have…” Tommy stopped abruptly before he broke. He stared into Adam’s eyes, anxiety clouding those beautiful blue depths “Do you have _any ide_ a how drunk Mike had to get me before I stopped trying to work out what I’d done wrong? What was so wrong with me that would make you want to forget what we did…”

Adam’s mouth opened and closed without any sound appearing. He had a second attempt with the same result, finally managing a gasped “Mike?”

Tommy shook his head slowly, the sudden urge to giggle at Adam’s bemused expression effectively obliterating the hurt and indignation. “ _Mike_ …my roomie, best mate forever…”

“Mike knew?”

“Huh? Of course Mike knew. He called me Princess and teased the fuck outta me for waiting up in my lonely tower for my handsome Prince to come and rescue me…”

“Anyone _else,_ besides Mike?”

“Well, Alla and Matt…and eventually Rick and Brian worked it out. Liz screamed it at me before she threw me out and went all Bunny-boiler on me with her Facebook rant…Oh and I think Lane always suspected when we were on tour…she used to give me these knowing little smiles…”

“Was there _anyone_ who didn’t know?”

“Only you…”

They stared at each other for what seemed like eons, but was, in reality, less than a second before simultaneously reaching out to haul the other in for a fierce kiss, mouths crashing together roughly, passion bruising lips...

Hands tangled painfully in hair, the tiny pain-filled whimpers swallowed as their kiss deepened…hotter and wetter...

Surrendering to the electric charge zapping every nerve ending and sending his entire being into meltdown, Tommy clung on and rode the wave to the shore.

A multitude of kisses later the duvet was on the floor and they were panting heavily. Adam sat up, once more straddling Tommy’s hips after an exciting tussle for superiority. “I really am sorry I hurt you. I didn’t want you to know I’d lost control and taken advantage of you…”

“There were two of us in that bed that night…I took advantage as much as you…”

Adam brushed Tommy’s cheek softly “I was so afraid of losing you from my life, I put you in a box, labelled you straight and unavailable and I couldn’t get past that. Amsterdam was a betrayal of that…I was weak…” Kissing his fingers, Adam pressed them to Tommy’s lips “You were worth more than a drunken, weed-induced-high dirty fumble… I was ashamed of myself.”

“You’re a daft fucker…”

“ _Your_ daft fucker…” They grinned sappily at each other. “Are we going to tell people? I’ll do whatever you want…”

Tommy linked their fingers “Our friends and family. They’ll only have to take one look at me and they’ll know anyway…they won’t need telling! Now… we have to tell Sauli…” Tommy bit his lip “ _I_ want to tell him…I don’t want him to think I…y’know…”

Nodding, Adam smiled “Sauli knew I always loved you too, you were very special to both of us…and you’re right, of course; he’ll always be in my heart…”

Bending down to kiss Tommy lightly, Adam wiggled his hips, the drag of naked flesh on naked flesh immediately showing its appreciation. Tommy moaned, low and wanton, reaching for Adam.

The moan switched into a whine of disappointment as Adam chuckled and slithered off Tommy’s body, moving to stand by the bed. Holding out his hand, he winked “Ready to try something new?”

“Fuck, yeah!” Tommy’s hand was folded into Adam’s as he was led into the en suite. Adam turned the shower on to warm before folding Tommy into his arms to kiss him into a molten, trembling heap of cute blond, tongue plundering Tommy’s mouth with increasing passion.

As the room filled with steam, Adam stepped into the cubicle, pulling Tommy with him, reclaiming his lips to kiss Tommy into oblivion as the water cascaded down on them. Tommy whimpered and moaned at these new sensations of slick, wet skin pressed up close, giving himself completely to Adam’s amazing mouth.

Sliding his hands down Tommy’s side to cup his buttocks, Adam pulled him closer still, grinding their hips together to drag a filthy moan from between glistening, pink lips as Tommy’s knees buckled and a rush of heat charged south to throb impressively against Adam’s matching arousal.

Blindly, Tommy groped downwards, only to have Adam intercept his hand, whispering against his ear “not yet…just enjoy…”

Tommy’s frustrated huff morphed into a low growl of pleasure as Adam peppered his neck with slow deliberate kisses, pausing to tongue at the piercings in Tommy’s ear before resuming his path to lap at the hollow in his throat.

Arching his head back to allow Adam more access, Tommy’s synapses dissolved under the onslaught of multiple sensations, babbling incoherently as he was backed up against the wall and cool tile met hot wet skin.

Adam’s delighted laughter rumbled against Tommy’s chest, his mouth not pausing in its mission to add further brandings to Tommy’s pale flesh. Shifting his hands, Adam slid one under Tommy’s arm to support his weight as the other tugged one leg off the floor to hook it around Adam’s hip with Adam’s hand clasped on Tommy’s thigh.

The change of angle provided the most tantalising friction, Tommy’s gasp lost in another endless kiss…

Pulling back just enough to gaze into Tommy’s lust blown eyes, his throat arched, hair slick and clinging to his skull and lips swollen from all their kisses, Adam caught his breath.

He’d never seen anything quite so fucking beautiful as the man in his arms right now…

Tugging Tommy’s leg higher, Adam rocked his hips, delicious spikes of desire igniting tiny fires every time they touched.

Lips crashing on his, Tommy’s tongue demanded entry to Adam’s mouth, mapping every contour with possessive intent as he thrust back against Adam’s hip rolls and the passion levels cranked up still higher…

“Want… _need…please…Adam…I…fuck…you gotta…fuuuuuck…_ ” Brief moments of coherence faded in the face of some rapid grinding, feral want spiralling out of control…

Releasing his hold on Tommy’s thigh, Adam cupped his face, slowing the kiss to soft and sensual, tugging on Tommy’s bottom lip with his teeth as he pulled back completely.

Tommy sagged breathlessly against the wall, knees too weak to hold him up, immediately missing the warmth of Adam’s body. He blinked dazedly, lips softly parted…

Adam’s finger under his chin, tilting his face up… _just like he always did on stage…all those kisses…_ set fresh tendrils of heat rushing in all directions and his eyes widened. The expression on Adam’s face effectively sucked the air out of the tiny space – fierce hunger, wild passion, triumphant possession and overwhelming love all rolled into one on that gorgeous freckled face.

Tommy gazed at the man he adored more than life itself and was lost…

A sudden sob burst out of Tommy’s mouth, concern immediately replacing all other emotions on Adam’s face.

“Sshh, s’ok baby, I got you…” He brushed his lips tenderly over Tommy’s, sliding his hands down Tommy’s arms to clasp their hands together. Stepping closer so their bodies were in line and twitching deliciously as they touched, Adam reached for the shower gel and tipped a generous amount out in his hand.

“This one we do together…” Coating Tommy’s fingers, he guided Tommy’s hand down to wrap it around them both, covering the gap with his own hand as they began to move, building a rhythm for pleasure rather than release. Adam captured Tommy’s mouth for a messy kiss, tongues duelling hotly until they broke off panting, hands moving faster, pressure and pleasure building rapidly…

His body shuddering, Tommy spilled into their joined hands with a hoarse cry, Adam joining him moments later.

Slumped against the tiles, boneless legs buckling, Tommy floated in an orgasmic haze, hitherto never-before-experienced sensations now on slow motion replay inside his blissed out brain.

Adam’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him back in close as he tucked Tommy’s head under his chin and they stood motionless under the steaming spray for several minutes, absorbing the timeless pleasure of simply being…

Gently releasing his hold, Adam turned Tommy around and reached for the shampoo, massaging Tommy’s scalp with expert fingers to complete the set of stunning new experiences as Tommy revelled in the intimacy of having Adam wash his hair for him.

If it were even possible, Tommy’s love deepened…

After rinsing the bubbles away, Adam kissed him tenderly and quickly washed his own hair, before soaping their bodies and turning off the now cooling water.

Wrapping them both in fluffy bath sheets, Adam folded Tommy back into his arms and simply held him, quiet breathing the only sound in the steam-filled room…

After long contented minutes, they parted and returned to the bedroom to get dressed, Adam’s breath hitching as he watched Tommy covering the multiple mottled-purple brandings with his clothes. Knowing they were etched into Tommy’s skin gave him a possessive thrill and a fresh surge of desire tested the strength of the stitching in his pants as the front swelled impressively.

Hopping around on one leg as he slithered into his jeans, Tommy remained oblivious to the effect he was having on Adam’s nether regions until he’d successfully zipped up and turned around.

The heat in Adam’s eyes, alongside the bulge in his pants, said it all and he flung himself into Adam’s arms as their mouths crashed together. Staggering sideways, they tumbled onto the bed…

Their making out session was interrupted by Adam’s phone ringing. Without releasing his hold on Tommy, Adam dug his phone out.

“Hey!”

“Just checking what time we’re leaving tonight?”

“Six okay?”

“You want me to come and get you?”

“If you don’t mind…we’ll be ready…”

“We?”

“It’s a surprise! See you later!” Chuckling, Adam cut the call, dropped the phone and returned his attention to kissing Tommy into a squirming, helpless heap of blond cuteness.

Propping himself up onto one elbow, he surveyed his handiwork with satisfaction; Tommy’s eyes were glazed, hair mussed adorably, lips pink and deliciously kiss swollen… _simply fucking beautiful…_

“That was Braffy about Idol tonight…” Adam tilted his head “you still happy to come?”

Tommy arched his hips off the bed, fingers twisting in the duvet “any time now’d be good…”

“Hold that thought, baby, we gotta eat something or I’ll be passing out on stage. C’mon…”

Hand in hand they headed to the kitchen.

Together they sorted out a chicken salad, taking it to the breakfast bar to eat. It was the stuff of every romantic movie ever made – fingers entwined on one hand, feeding each other forkfuls with the other, mouthfuls punctuated with soft kisses…

“Don’t know how I‘m going to keep my hands off you tonight…” Adam stroked a finger tenderly down Tommy’s cheek.

“I’ll be hiding in the back while you blow them away out front…”

“The only one I’m blowing is you…” the look was positively lecherous.

“Fuck, Adam…” Tommy’s bloodstream fled south in hopeful anticipation.

“All in good time…” Adam brushed their lips together “… _all_ in good time…”

Heat flooded Tommy’s cheeks as he caught the meaning… _fuck…and I mean literally…fuck…_

Claiming Tommy’s mouth for a long lingering kiss, both were breathing heavily when they parted “I’m going to make love to you so completely, you’ll forget your name _Thomas Joseph Ratliff…”_ Nipping Tommy’s ear, Adam, released him, standing regretfully. “I have to get ready…”

Leaving Adam to sort out his clothes for his Idol Finale performance, Tommy took himself off to the study to set up the skype ready for their scheduled session with Sauli, adjusting his trousers as he went. It would be good to talk to Sauli again…

Only today they could be changing their relationship for ever… _fuck…_

Suddenly nervous, Tommy dropped onto the sofa… _what if Sauli thought he’d taken advantage…maybe even planned it somehow…wha…_

The computer lit up.

This was it.

Taking a deep breath, Tommy hit answer.

Sauli’s beautiful smile filled the screen “Hello, minun ystavani. It is good to see you.”

“You too…” Tommy bit his lip, his brain searching desperately for the right words.

Sauli leant closer to his computer, peering intently at Tommy’s face. His grin widened and he clapped happily “You do not have to tell me anything…” his finger indicated the branding on Tommy’s neck

“Oh, fuck… _I...we…I mean_ …” Tommy grimaced in frustration “I’m really fucking this up…”

“I am happy for you…it is the truth…” Sauli’s lips pressing against the screen finally dragged a relieved smile to Tommy’s lips and he chuckled.

“Is it that obvious?”

“That you are happy and in the love with Adam. Yes, it is clear and I am in joy for you both…”

“I didn’t have a fucking clue what to say!”

“I will never regret loving Adam, it was a beautiful time but it was over long ago and I will always love Adam like a brother to me. He will be much happy with you…” Sauli winked and waved behind him at the hockey practice currently charging around the ice “I confess I am here for Niko…he is strong and fast and athletic” His voice dropped to an awed whisper “he is _very_ athletic…I have not shared with Adam yet the news.”

“What haven’t you shared?” Adam bounced in from where he’d been leaning against the doorframe and flung himself down next to Tommy. He’d changed into tight black pants, his much loved knee-length lace-up boots, new black jacket and a black silk-blend top with random white splashes, from one of his favourite designers. His face was at its natural freckled best, no make-up, and his nails were devoid of varnish…

He looked a million fucking dollars and Tommy fell in love all over again.

“Wow, you look ama…” Tommy gasped as the air was driven from his lungs as Adam hugged him fiercely, pressed a hard fast kiss to his lips and released him, turning to grin at Sauli.

“So who’s Niko?”

Sauli grinned back and turned his laptop around so they could see the players more clearly. “He is number 39 and he is dark hair and big shoulders and…” he fell silent momentarily as pink flooded his cheeks.

The three friends looked at each other and laughter erupted across the airwaves as they collapsed into helpless giggles.

The rest of their time was spent discussing the rules of ice hockey, the imminent Idol duet and Adam’s latest concert announcement to headline the Pittsburgh Pride closing celebrations in June... Pressing kisses to their respective screens after a lively ninety minutes, the call ended with friendships not only intact, but strengthened through shared love and understanding…

With skype shut down, Adam leant back on the sofa, a contented smile on his face. “I hope Niko knows what a hot bod he’s getting!” He lifted his arm for Tommy to scoot in closer “Niko’d better treat him right, or…”

“He’s a lucky guy…” Tommy ran his fingers lightly across Adam’s thigh “…and so am I…”

Cupping Tommy’s chin, Adam tilted his face up to the perfect angle and they sank into a new session of endless kisses, from hot, hard kisses, to feather-light brushes of lips and slow sensual kisses where tongues slid seductively against each other before stroking every contour of the other’s mouth.

Tommy floated on a cloud of bliss and never wanted it to end…

Finally surfacing from their extended kissing bonanza, Adam rubbed their noses together and checked his watch. “We got about fifteen minutes before Braffy gets here and I need to stop kissing you…”

Adam chuckled at the pout on Tommy’s lips “I can’t turn up for my interview looking like a love struck teenager or they’re gonna want to know who’s putting this dreamy smile on my face…and I’m not ready to share you with the world just yet…” he pressed his lips to Tommy’s temple “I’ve waited too long for you to be mine…oh!”

Releasing his hold, Adam reached for the abandoned laptop “I’ve got something to show you…” A couple of clicks and he opened his file of Lee’s pictures “Lee and I are the only ones who’ve seen these…”

Tommy’s mouth fell open at the intensity of emotion on every image…that connection was so evident from the very beginning… He jabbed a finger at one of the shots from his first time as Kiki, him and Adam gazing into each other’s eyes as the obvious chemistry sizzled from the screen “That’s so fucking beautiful…I’m telling you with everything I have that I love you and want to have your babies…”

Grabbing Adam’s hand, Tommy kissed his knuckles one by one “it was true then and even truer now…”

Adam gasped and stared at the picture as if he was seeing it for the first time “ _fuck…Tommy Joe…fuckfuckfuck…”_ he turned wide eyes, eyes that sparkled with the sudden gleam of happy tears, to gaze at Tommy before admitting in an awed whisper “I never looked at your face like that before…I only ever saw how much _I loved you…I never dreamed you could ever love me back…_ ”

Heads leant together they scrolled through the whole album again from the beginning. Lee _had them_ every single fucking shot…

“My turn to show you now…” Tommy opened the browser and went to YouTube, typing in _Every time we touch._ Clicking play, he watched Adam’s face as the fan video played, every interaction on screen a declaration of undying love in Tommy’s eyes…     

“We’re a right pair!” Adam cupped Tommy’s face tenderly, planting a soft kiss to his mouth “I guess if I’d let myself believe it, I knew all along…” He sucked in a breath “I love you, Tommy Joe, my Glitterbaby, my Pretty Kitty…my everything…”

“Love you too, with all that I am…” Their lips met in the softest of kisses, barely moving, yet so perfectly in the moment it took their breath away.

The doorbell had them jumping off the sofa, bursting into helpless laughter as Adam hauled Tommy to his feet and they headed for the door.

Bradford looked at the pair of them grinning like hyenas, their hands close but not touching and dragged them in for a joint hug. “About fucking time you two got your shit together!” He squeezed hard and released them. “Is it common knowledge?”

Adam folded his hand around Tommy’s “not yet, we’ve only told Sauli so far, apart from Brad who was here at the time, and you…”

Nodding, Bradford grinned. “You’re gonna need to do something about that look if you don’t want the world to know the second they set eyes on you!”

Tommy and Adam looked at each other and back at Braffy “What look?”

“The one that screams total adoration and like you’re counting the seconds until you can rip your clothes off and…” he laughed loudly as pink decorated both their faces. “Yeah, _that_ look!”

“We’ll figure it out on the way!” Adam handed Tommy his leather jacket and they followed Bradford down to the car. En route they decided Adam would do the interview, duet and question time after, completely solo; Tommy would stay out of sight with Braffy.

Shortly after, Braffy and Tommy got out of the car just before the venue, leaving Adam to arrive in solitary star guest fashion.

Following the path around the side of the building, Tommy and Bradford entered through the almost deserted stage door. Landing Tommy in Adam’s dressing room, Bradford checked all the arrangements were in place before collecting his friend and running through the plan for the evening. Both secure in the running order, they sat backstage and watched everything as it unfolded on the large screen on the wall.

Tommy couldn’t prevent the huge smile on his face when Adam was interviewed outside the building, his clean cut, understated look simply beautiful as he glowed with happiness.

When it was time for his performance, they moved to stand in the wings, well out of camera shot, but close enough to see Adam and Angie standing ready to begin.

 _“I’m criticised, but all your bullets ricochet…”_ Adam’s voice was crystal clear and set the hairs on the back of Tommy’s neck on end, goose bumps racing down his spine. Braffy draped an arm around his shoulders and they leant against each other as Adam sang his heart out, carefully making sure it was Angie who got to shine…

Tommy watched and loved his man even deeper…

Adam immersed himself in the performance as he always did, a tiny smile lighting his face as he moved around the piano and he caught a glimpse of his boyfriend watching in the wings… _his boyfriend…_ The love shone through his eyes and his voice, captivating the audience and the roars of approval raised the roof. Hugging Angie delightedly, they moved swiftly from the stage.

Adam opened the door of his dressing room to be met with a hand that grabbed his lapel and hauled him over the threshold. The door was closed by Tommy backing Adam hard up against it as he claimed his mouth for a dirty, wanton kiss, grinding his hips against Adam’s rapidly tightening jeans.

Time, Idol and life were temporarily suspended as each lost themselves in the other…

Pulling back, Tommy panted, his pupils blown and lips tingling “Braffy said I could have five minutes and I intend to make full use of every one of them…”

Adam opened his mouth to speak, eyes widening in surprise as Tommy’s finger pressed swiftly against his lips, followed by Tommy’s hands sliding beneath his top to run freely over Adam’s warm flesh. Adam’s gasp as Tommy’s fingers tweaked his nipples was cut off abruptly with Tommy’s mouth crashing on his and tongues duelled fiercely.

Tommy’s phone cut through the low moans and they broke apart, breathing heavily. Tommy stepped back, happy with his five minute’s work – Adam looked completely wanton, clothes rumpled and a very prominent bulge in his pants.

Resisting the urge to give his own throbbing boner a rub to be going on with, Tommy reached for the door handle.

Adam gazed at him, dazed. “You going?”

“My five minutes are up…” he snickered “rather like both of us!” Darting back into Adam’s space he brushed a tender, barely-there kiss to the man he adored “Love you, Babyboy…”

The door closed behind him, leaving Adam with a sappy grin on his face.

He was still there when the runner tapped on the door with a ten minute warning for the question time session.

After an engaging and fun turn at the mic for fan questions, Adam nodded his thanks and returned to his dressing room, somewhat disappointed to find it empty. Dropping onto the chair at the dressing table, his face lit up at the note from Tommy propped up against his mirror.

**Have fun at the after party, I’ll see you at home LY T**

_Home…fuck that had a good ring to it…_

Sliding the note into his pocket, Adam made his way to the party, shook hands with the judges, was photographed with various people, said his goodbyes and was out of the building just thirty minutes later.

He made one stop on the way home, tipping the driver hugely for going into the store to buy them for him.

Another ten minutes and he was unlocking his front door.

The apartment was in darkness and he frowned, puzzled. This was unexpected.

He shrugged out of his jacket and kicked off his boots before heading to the bedroom, purchase clasped firmly in one hand.

Opening the door, his chin hit the floor for the second time that night. The room was lit with softly flickering candlelight, the dancing shadows creating an intimate and inviting atmosphere. Against the dark bedding, Tommy’s pale skin gleamed like polished porcelain, the invitation burning in his liquid brown eyes as he arched his body off the bed.

“ _Adam…”_

Shedding the rest of his clothes in record breaking time into a messy heap on the floor, Adam carefully pulled handfuls of petals from the red roses he’d bought and stepped up to the bed.

Hitching a breath, Adam showered the petals over Tommy’s naked body.

For a moment they gazed at each other, before Adam threw himself into Tommy’s open arms, as their lips met in a passionate kiss and senses soared…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tommy's video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEOgYJrZRfk


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just the epilogue to go after this.  
> Apologies for the delay; this is a very long chapter - seems there was more to say than anticipated! Hope you enjoy...and thanks as always for reading :))

Panting hard, they came up for air, bodies pressed skin to skin, lips tingling, hearts pounding.

Adam gazed into Tommy’s eyes, drowning in the love and trust blazing from those shining brown depths.

“We can stop at any time – you have complete control…”

“I want you… _all of you…_ ” Tommy arched his hips, both men gasping at the tantalising drag of flesh on flesh “…make love to me… _please…_ ”

Threading his fingers though Tommy’s hair, Adam smiled, a gentle just-for-Tommy smile that sent pulses of longing zapping through Tommy’s bloodstream. “Close your eyes and just feel...this is all about your pleasure…” his words whispered soft against Tommy’s mouth.

Drawing a breath in, Tommy nodded minutely and closed his eyes.

Moving back, Adam took a moment to appreciate Tommy’s naked body in all its glory, horror tattoo sleeve standing out starkly against his milky white skin, the scattered deep red of the rose petals curling in the heat from their bodies. Adam caught his breath… _Tommy was so fucking beautiful…_

Tommy’s needy whimper as cool air hit his skin after the warmth of Adam’s body disappeared, dragged Adam back to the moment and he chuckled, leaning forward to brush Tommy’s eyelids lightly with his lips. Moving slowly, he pressed tiny feather-light kisses to Tommy’s cheeks, lips, chin…continuing down the side of his neck until he reached the mottled bruises. Huffing warm breath over Tommy’s skin, Adam licked each mark deliberately before biting down to refresh the deep purple brandings as Tommy bucked off the bed at the twin sensations of pleasure and pain chasing through every nerve ending…

Adam trailed his tongue across to lap in the hollow of Tommy’s throat before kissing his way back up the other side of his neck, finally reclaiming his lips in a passionate kiss that quickly grew hot and wet and messy. Tommy lost himself to the feel of Adam’s mouth on his heated skin and the world outside ceased to exist as he trembled with a mix of wanton desire and breathless anticipation.

Pulling back from Tommy’s lips, now glistening pink with the heat of their kisses, Adam’s heart skipped a few beats as he gazed at his boyfriend… _mine…all mine…_

“Turn over…” Adam’s warm breath against his ear sent fresh surges of want on a southerly charge through Tommy’s body as he rolled over obediently, onto his stomach, the faint brush of the duvet offering a tantalising tingle of pleasure. Whimpering, Tommy wriggled, attempting to increase the friction as Adam chuckled and grabbed Tommy’s hips to keep them still, drawing a whine of protest into the pillow.

“Patience, Glitterbaby… _patience_ …” Straddling Tommy’s back, Adam reached into the drawer of the nightstand to grab a small bottle of aromatic oil, tipping some into his hands to warm it before spreading his fingers over Tommy’s shoulders and massaging with long firm strokes, his thumbs working into the muscles as the sensual aroma of ylang ylang hung heavy in the air.

Tommy swooned under the touch, his senses succumbing to the warmth of the oil, the feel of Adam’s hands on his skin and the incredible sensation of floating… _he was officially in fucking heaven…_

“How does it feel?” Leaning forward, Adam murmured into Tommy’s ear, the faint tickle of Adam’s hair against his neck sending tiny shivers down his spine and thus rendering him incapable of any coherent response, a garbled moan the only sound forthcoming as his brain hung suspended somewhere out in the cosmos.

“Told you, I’d make you forget your name…” Even the amusement in the throaty whisper failed to coax any recognisable words from Tommy’s blissed out consciousness.

Adam returned his attentions to Tommy’s milky white skin, following every touch of his hands with tender brushes of his lips…across Tommy’s shoulders, down his spine to the small of his back, shifting backwards as he worked his way downwards. Tommy whimpered as Adam’s kisses trailed up the back of his legs, finally arriving at the gentle curve of his buttocks where Adam parted his cheeks softly, blowing warm breath over the entrance to Tommy’s body. Tommy quivered convulsively, squirming on the bed as he tried to follow the touch, desperate for more…

Reaching for the oil once more, Adam warmed it in his hands before trickling it into the curve at the bottom of Tommy’s spine, dabbing his fingers into the tiny pool of oil as he massaged Tommy’s lower back and cheeks, running a finger down the crease between them to circle the ring of muscle. Stroking softly, he teased Tommy’s flesh, adding more oil to the pool and returning to repeat the process more firmly, until he pressed a fingertip inside.

Tommy moaned loudly, pressing up to meet him, a ragged “ _more…please…Ada…”_ that died away in groan of pleasure as the finger pressed deeper, moving slowly, the warmth from the oil creating sensations beyond anything Tommy had ever experienced “… _fuck, more… **more…** oh fuckfuckfuck…more…”_

Adam moved his finger, crooking it to brush that magic spot. Tommy’s body bucked, his moans growing louder as he pressed back harder against his boyfriend’s hand. _Fuckfuckfuck..._

Removing his finger to refresh the oil from the dwindling puddle on Tommy’s back, Adam supressed a chuckle at the needy whimper and string of curses dropping from Tommy’s mouth at the withdrawal.

For a moment he gazed at the sight before him as Tommy twisted his hands in the bedding, head thrashing on the pillow, hips jerking in search of contact…

_He was so fucking beautiful…_

With one hand on each cheek, Adam parted them, trailing his thumbs down the crease with a feather-light, barely-there touch, until they traced the edge of that perfect hole. Teasing Tommy’s tender flesh, Adam watched the muscle quiver under his touch as Tommy’s curses dissolved into a string of guttural sounds, leaving him a keening, squirming mess of desire.

Leaning closer, Adam dragged his tongue over Tommy’s skin before huffing tiny warm breaths at the glistening wetness, as Tommy shuddered uncontrollably at the sensations rolling thick and fast through his body.

“Sshh baby…it’ll be worth waiting for… _I promise_ …” Adam peppered a volley of soft kisses down Tommy’s spine as he pressed his finger back in, adding a second and moving them gently before brushing that tiny bundle of nerves once more.

With every fibre of his being on full alert and screaming for more, Tommy writhed in delirious pleasure… ” _please…pleasemoreplease…”_ his words merging into one garbled string.

Adam’s own body trembled with desire as he watched the man he loved completely, unravelling at his hands as he added a third finger, knowing the more time he took to prepare, the better it would be for them both.  

Tommy pushed up against Adam’s hand, nothing else existing beyond the feel of Adam’s lips and fingers as pleasure owned his body with every brush of that magic spot inside him…

Sliding his fingers out, Adam crawled up Tommy’s body, dropping random kisses and nipping with his teeth as we went to the accompaniment of delirious streams of unintelligible nonsense from Tommy’s sinfully pink and kiss swollen lips as he pressed into the pillow.

Drawing level, Tommy turned to crush their mouths together in a wild and sloppy kiss, teeth clashing, tongues duelling… Tommy’s hands raked through Adam’s hair as they arched and thrust against each other, a light sheen of sweat coating their flesh as the heady scent of sex filled the air.

They surfaced for oxygen, breathless and shaking with need “ _Now…pleeeeeease…need to feel you…so hard…so hot for you…”_ Tommy pressed his body closer to Adam “ _’m yours…always yours…”_

“Turn on your side…it’s easier your first time…”

Tommy clung on tightly “ ** _No…_** _want to see your face…want to watch as you make love to me…”_

“I love you so fucking much, _my Tommy Joe…”_ Adam kissed him hard and fast and dirty, pulling back as tears threatened to burst through the fragile barriers of his emotions. Panting, he urged Tommy on to his back and for a moment they gazed into each other’s eyes.

“I _will_ stop if you say so…” Adam reached for a condom and tore the packet open, handing it to Tommy to put on him whilst he warmed some lube in his hands.

Tommy’s fingers shook as he smoothed the latex on, nodding his readiness as Adam finished preparing and lined himself up…

“I love you…” Tommy’s words breathed against Adam’s lips as Adam kissed him, passion surging through their bodies. Tommy gasped as he was breached for the first time, the sound swallowed by Adam’s kiss and soothed by his soft caresses.

Slowly, carefully, his entire being trembling at the effort of controlling his entry, Adam pressed further into Tommy’s body until he was fully seated…

Tommy hissed at the sensations of being so completely filled, the burn and stretch strange yet exhilarating and quite simply, fucking amazing. Gazing up into Adam’s face, his eyes widened and he lost himself in the fierce love blazing from within those sparkling blue depths.

“You okay, baby?” Adam’s whisper resonated with love, leaning closer to claim Tommy’s mouth once more as he began to move…tiny hip rolls at first; barely-there movements until Tommy was clawing at his back, begging for more, arching up to meet Adam with every thrust, low guttural moans as Adam hit that magic spot repeatedly…

Tommy pushed up harder, nails raking over Adam’s slick skin as he felt himself spiralling closer to the bliss of his release…” _can’t last…more…haaarder…fuckfuckfuck…more…”_

Tommy’s eyes rolled in his head as Adam reached for him to pump him in time to his thrusts and Tommy felt the tell-tale signs as every cell in his body prepared for supernova, nerve endings stretching taut, fires igniting as it built up from his toes and rippled outwards, finally crying Adam’s name as he exploded and the world lit up like bonfire night as he shuddered through his explosive climax, tears of joy spilling down his cheeks…

Adam followed him into oblivion moments later, the feel of Tommy’s body clenching hard around him as he rode out his own release, enough to send him shooting off the precipice to fly amongst the stars, before slumping onto Tommy’s chest in a trembling, sated heap. They lay tangled and panting, tears mingling as they floated down from their orgasmic high.

“Tommy, baby…” Adam brushed the hair from Tommy’s sweat-soaked brow as he withdrew carefully and disposed of the condom before reaching for the wipes to clean his hand and Tommy’s stomach, finally urging his boyfriend under the duvet to wrap him into his arms as they kissed softy.

Tommy stroked a finger down the side of Adam’s face “ _That was beyond…just…it was simply fucking amazing…and I can’t find the words to tell you how fucking much I love you…how long I’ve waited to love you…”_ Fresh tears filled his eyes as Adam tugged him closer and captured his lips, pouring every emotion into the kiss until they broke apart, breathless and trembling at the intensity of feeling. Staring into each other’s eyes, words no longer needed, lips barely touching as sleep beckoned…

“Adam...?”

“What sweetheart…” Adam pressed a light kiss to the end of Tommy’s nose.

“When we wake up, can we do that again?”

The heated look in Adam’s eyes was all the answer Tommy needed and he melted into the embrace as Adam wrapped himself around Tommy’s body “you and me…”

“…for eternity…”

Sated and content, they slept.

The alarm woke them, Adam snaking one arm out to silence the shrill beeping before returning under the duvet to wrap Tommy closer into his arms, pressing for a gentle kiss.

“How’re you feeling this morning, baby?” The slight tremor to Adam’s voice betrayed his concern despite the just-for-Tommy smile.

Tommy’s brain helpfully replayed their lovemaking in high definition, slow motion and his circulation rerouted in hopeful anticipation. Squirming, he let out an involuntary wince at the soreness tugging at his tender flesh.

“Tommy Joe? Did I hurt you?” Fear and horror flooded Adam’s face and he froze.

Giving an experimental wriggle, Tommy grinned at the feeling of having been well and truly loved “No, not hurt…” he shook his head at Adam’s raised eyebrow “’m a bit sore, but it’s a _good_ sore…” He hauled Adam in for a passionate kiss “I feel loved…”his throaty whisper panted against Adam’s neck when they surfaced for air.

A huge sappy smile lit Adam’s face “You are so utterly loved…let me show you how much…” He reached for Tommy beneath the covers, cursing as his phone rang. “Fuck! Hold that thought!” Rolling over, he grabbed his phone from the nightstand “Bradford, what impeccable timing! I was just going to ravish my boyfriend…”

“Hahaha, thanks for that image! I won’t keep you, just to remind you we’re filming the LifeBall promotional video today so the car will be with you in an hour…” he chuckled “not long, so I’ll let you get back to your ravishing. Tell Tommy I’ll see him later for our lesson. Oh and Bossman…”

“Yeah?”

“Really happy for you both…” blowing a wet kiss down the phone, Braffy rang off. The phone was abandoned on the pillow as Adam snuggled into Tommy’s arms with a contented sigh.

“Braffy…”

Tommy nodded “how long have we got?”

“Not long enough for what I want to do…” the theatrical huff made Tommy giggle and he whispered throatily against Adam’s ear, emboldened by the warmth of Adam’s body pressing against his own.

“We could, y’know…take a shower together…” heat rushed his cheeks “I enjoyed the one before…”

Adam’s mouth crashing on his, tongue seeking its mate to twirl joyously, effectively rendered any further attempt at coherent words useless, as corpuscle control mustered all troops southwards…

Breaking apart just long enough to stumble out of bed and into the bathroom, the shower was turned on to warm and they fell into another round of endless kisses as the room slowly filled with steam.

Stepping under the cascading water, they resumed their kissing marathon…Tommy would never get enough of Adam’s kisses, his soft lips and talented tongue owning Tommy’s mouth so completely it was as if nothing else existed…

 _I fucking love this man…mine…finally mine…_ Adam flicked his devilish tongue at the roof of Tommy’s mouth and any other considerations were lost as his knees buckled and he gave himself to sensation…

Coming up for air, Adam tugged him closer, pressing their bodies skin to skin, his hands cupping Tommy’s buttocks as he ground his hips and tantalising friction just this side of not enough sparked delicious tendrils of pleasure building from deep within Tommy’s belly.

Moving one hand to tip Tommy’s face up to his own with a single finger under his chin, Adam once more owned Tommy’s mouth, the kiss deepening, hungry…

A trembling mass of desire, Tommy reached for the shower gel as they resurfaced, his confusion when Adam shook his head vanishing as Adam dropped to his knees and engulfed Tommy in the wet heat of his mouth.

Tommy’s startled squawk echoed around the room as he clutched at Adam’s hair, low moans of bliss dropping from between kiss swollen lips.

Adam pulled back, prompting a whine of protest which morphed into a gasp as his teeth bit down on Tommy’s inked hip bone, sucking a fresh bruise to the surface. Before Tommy could react again, Adam moved and sucked him down whole, one hand steadying his unbitten hip as the other danced its fingers backwards to brush lightly over the entrance to Tommy’s body.

Sucking and humming around his mouthful, Adam pressed a fingertip inside and Tommy exploded into Adam’s mouth with a strangled moan as his climax took him by surprise and his legs gave way.

Sliding back up Tommy’s body, strong hands holding him close, Adam kissed him, tongue diving into Tommy’s mouth to map the interior thoroughly until both were panting hard. “you okay, baby?” Adam nuzzled into Tommy’s neck, stroking his wet hair as Tommy nodded, the ability to form any kind of recognisable sound temporarily on hiatus.

They stood motionless for long moments as the water cascaded down on them, Tommy eventually raising his head to meet Adam’s eyes, uncertainty clouding those beautiful brown pools “You want me to…” he gave a helpless wave of his hand towards his feet “I haven’t…”

Adam chuckled and dropped a kiss to the end of Tommy’s nose “…another time if you want to, but you most certainly don’t have to…it’s whatever, however… _never_ any pressure…”

“But you haven’t…” Tommy’s words were lost as Adam’s mouth crashed on his, teeth clashing, passion bruising lips.

“I love you, Tommy Joe, _so fucking much_ …” cupping Tommy’s face, Adam gazed into his eyes “this is all about you and your pleasure…”

Tommy’s relief was evident “I do want to learn…to make you feel as good as you make me feel…” he straightened up and reached for the shower gel confidently “can we do this together…” he leant forward, snatching a hard, fast kiss, nipping Adam’s bottom lip as he pulled away.

Adam’s needy whimper as Tommy wrapped his fingers around him and began moving slowly, building a rhythm that had Adam moaning and gasping as he pushed into Tommy’s hand chasing his release. As he teetered on the edge, Adam added his hand on top of Tommy’s, working a twist of his wrist into the action, the added pressure on his sensitive flesh enough to send him off the cliff and into the tingling warmth of the afterglow.

Raising their joined hands to his mouth, Adam licked his finger, eyes flaring with heat as Tommy first copied him and then repeated it without prompting. After a third lick, Adam hauled his boyfriend into his arms and their lips met in a messy kiss, tongues tangling as Adam chased the taste of himself from Tommy’s mouth.

It was with regret, and on wobbly legs, they washed quickly and emerged from the bathroom, hurrying to dry and dress as Adam’s hour had now reduced to fifteen minutes…

Successfully managing to cover their naked bodies without giving in to the temptation of further exploration, they headed for the kitchen and a swift coffee and bagel. Perching on the breakfast bar stools, they clunked their mugs together in a wordless toast of togetherness.

“I think we need to throw a party…” Adam tilted his head thoughtfully “a _you moving in_ party…”

“I already kinda live here!” Tommy grinned and brushed a crumb from the corner of Adam’s mouth with his thumb.

“Okay, smart arse, we can make it a _moving rooms_ party or a _first time blowjob_ party…I just want to celebrate _you and me together…”_

“Sappy fucker!” Tommy’s words resonated happiness and his eyes sparkled “why don’t we not tell everyone and make it a celebrating _Glee_ and _Life Ball_ and _Era3_ party…” he paused, crinkling his nose up in thought “if we make it tomorrow we could watch that Chinese Idol thing you recorded _Mad World_ on…”

“All good apart from _Era3_ …” Adam grimaced “absolutely nothing there to celebrate right now…” his face clouded, disappointment temporarily replacing the light in his eyes.

“Babyb…”

Adam’s finger against his lips silenced the multiple questions bouncing around in Tommy’s head “Not talking about that - at the moment, I’m too fucking happy to be pissed off…” Adam tugged his phone out of his pocket as it burst into _Fever_ and he grinned as Tommy’s eyes widened… _Fever, live in London…_

“Yep, I’m on my way down. Nope, he’s got a party to sort out…time this Glamily let their hair down…” Adam laughed as he listened “I’m betting Sutan will know about thirty seconds after we leave…as for everyone else, they’ll work it out! Okay, I’m leaving now…” Cutting the call, Adam folded Tommy into his arms for a soft kiss, licking into his mouth slow and sensual as Tommy melted against him. Squeezing Tommy’s backside, Adam tore himself away before he changed his mind and dragged his boyfriend, caveman style, back to the bedroom… _later…_

Tommy slumped against the counter top as the door closed behind Adam and he was left alone…alone in his new home… _his home with Adam…_

_…he officially fucking lived here now…_

_…with Adam fucking Lambert…his boyfriend…_

**_“Fuck yeah!”_**  Tommy ran madly through the apartment, touching the walls, chairs, the instruments in the study, finally throwing open the French windows to run around the pool and the deck. Panting hard and grinning like the proverbial Cheshire Cat, he leant over the railings, too exhilarated to even consider his dislike of the height, and dug his phone out of his pocket.

A brief call to Sutan to suggest breakfast at the club – he’d collect takeout en route from Sutan’s favourite diner as his news was way too private to share in a public place – sharing only the brief of organising a party for Adam…

The best bit would be delivered in person…

_Adam fucking Lambert…_

_… **my fucking boyfriend…**_

His phone beeped in his hand and he glanced at it absently, a grin cracking his face as he read the message **Changing into my costume and missing your hands undressing me. Apparently I get 40 semi-naked dancers for my number…would swap them all for you. Give my love to Sutan. Tell him he and Raja were right. LY my Tommy Joe x**

Thumbing a quick reply, Tommy had barely pressed send when it beeped again **Did I mention that I love you? In case I didn’t I LOVE YOU <3 I LOVE YOU <3 I LOVE YOU <3**

**Daft fucker…and I love you too xx**

A moment later another message lit up the screen, Tommy laughing out loud as he imagined his boyfriend’s face **Braffy here, Adam’s phone has been confiscated as he’s like a cat on heat and won’t keep still for the make-up artist. Oh, and he’s pouting now! You two crack me up. Love you both!**

Grabbing his jacket and wrapping one of Adam’s scarves around his neck to cover his bruises, Tommy headed down to his car, still chuckling when he pulled up behind the club and climbed out with the bulging take-out bag.

Sutan folded him into a warm hug once he’d dumped the bag onto the counter. Sinking into the familiar embrace, Tommy hugged back. Loosening his hold enough to take a good look at him, Sutan’s eyebrows rose “Vayvee..?” He peered closer at Tommy’s face “Fuck! You _did…you and Adam finally got it together…”_

Tightening his hold once more, Sutan spun Tommy around until he was dizzy, finally landing him back on solid ground to plant a massive smacker to his lips.

Tommy ginned “does it show?”

“Honey, you just reek of happiness and you might as well have _I fucked Adam Lambert_ tattooed on your forehead…”   

“Well there’s a thought!” Tommy snuggled happily into Sutan’s arms, rubbing his head in a very catlike manner against his life partner’s shoulder.

“I am so happy for you Vayvee…and now you need to share every last detail of how it happened, since the last I knew we were taking you both out dancing and Brad was going to set you up with an admirer to see if we could shock a reaction outta our Adam…”

Releasing Tommy, Sutan picked the takeout bag off the counter and led them to a table “I need _all_ the details, Vayvee or Raja will after your hide…” Sutan slapped Tommy’s arse playfully “and seeing as it’s now taken…” he giggled as Tommy’s cheeks turned pink “oh yes, honey, _those_ kind of details!”

Two cortados, maple bacon waffles and strawberry cups later and Sutan was crying with happiness for his friends, his hands clasped firmly in Tommy’s as he declared they’d have the best celebration party Raja had ever organised…

They threw themselves into action, a phone call to Scarlet to secure use of the homestead and big screen, with swiftly accepted offers of the barbeque pit and tame chef to go with it.

A swift text exchange with Adam confirmed the date for tomorrow and numerous calls and emails later supplies were ordered and delivery arranged, as they moved on to the guest list.

“This is about celebrating with family and us telling them…”

“No need to tell, honey, your face says it all…although…” Sutan snickered wickedly “you want to play? I’m thinking we could invite _Sandy_ rather than Kiki…”

“Fuck, yeah!” Dissolving into helpless laughter they both hummed the tune and planning took a turn way off the main highway…

They were clunking refilled coffee mugs together when one of Sutan’s staff approached “sorry to interrupt, got a delivery that you need to sign for…” he grimaced apologetically “the bloke’s insistent…”

Sutan’s eyes rolled “be right back, once Raja’s whipped this bitch into order…”

Tommy grinned and picked up the pen, dragging their neglected guest list towards him “go kick arse, boo!” He was still scribbling names when a waft of familiar, and much loved, cologne assailed his nostrils and he jumped up to see Adam smiling at him, his boyfriend clutching armfuls of red roses.

Abandoning his pen, Tommy leapt into Adam’s embrace, flinging his arms around Adam’s neck and wrapping his legs around Adam’s waist. The roses scattered all over the floor as their mouths met in a fiery kiss and they lost themselves in each other, tongues tangling excitedly as blood supplies fled south.

When they finally came up for air, Sutan had reappeared and was grinning fondly at them, his arms full of pink and yellow roses tied with a deep pink ribbon. Stepping carefully over the strewn flowers, he pressed a kiss to each of their cheeks.

Adam and Tommy rested their foreheads together, content in their closeness as Tommy slowly uncurled his legs and restored contact with the ground, Adam’s arms keeping him pressed tightly against his, _very alert_ , body.

With his own flowers safely divided between several vases, Sutan gathered Tommy’s red ones from around their feet, pulling a handful petals from a couple of blooms to scatter over the love-struck pair. Fond laughter filled the bar as the three of them sat down to finish the guest list, before emails and messages were sent into cyberspace…

Replies came in thick and fast. Tommy grinned as all of their friends and family confirmed attendance...the game was on…

A huge group hug later and they prepared to take their leave from the club, Tommy promising to meet Sutan for breakfast again the following day when Adam went for a meeting with RCA. Adam’s eyes clouded over at even the mention of his label, another warning sign that things were not at all as they should be.

Pressing a gentle kiss to Adam’s mouth, Tommy dragged his lips across Adam’s skin to whisper against his ear “Take me home now…I want to blow you like you did me…” he sucked on Adam’s earlobe “need you to teach me how…”

Adam struggled to turn a needy moan into a cough “Okay, we’re going! Sorry, boo, but something’s come up…”

“So I can see!” Sutan chuckled at the obvious bulge in Adam’s trousers and shooed the pair of them out of the door. Handing Tommy his roses he brushed a kiss against his cheek. “You can tell me _all_ about it tomorrow…”

The journey home was swift, neither saying anything in the sexually charged, intense atmosphere. Adam rested his hand on Tommy’s thigh, the heat from his skin bleeding through Tommy’s jeans to stir his bloodstream into a frenzy by the time they pulled into the parking lot.   

They got as far as the elevator before they gave into the passion-charged air between them, Adam slamming Tommy against the rear wall to own his mouth, as hands raked wildly over clothing. The doors pinged open and they staggered to the front door without breaking their kiss, both groping in pockets for a key.

Dragging his mouth away for the briefest of moments, Adam panted triumphantly as he held his key aloft.

“Don’t just wave it about, fucking use it!” Tommy growled impatiently, rolling his hips against Adam’s leg in an effort to build up some friction.

Adam’s eyes flared with heat at this dominant, lust blown and unexplored side of the man he loved and hastened to open the door.

Stepping through it, lips crashing together once more in a hard, messy kiss as Adam kicked the door closed behind them. Shedding clothing rapidly into a heap on the floor, they headed for the bedroom, tumbling onto the bed, now clad only in underwear that bulged wetly…

Tommy ran one hand down Adam’s chest, fingers splayed to cover as much beautiful, freckled skin as possible, the other hand tangled in his hair as tongues probed the now familiar recesses of each other’s mouths. Plunging his hand beneath the waistband of Adam’s snug jersey shorts, Tommy took a firm hold, swallowing the wanton moan from his boyfriend’s lips as Adam arched up into the touch…

“Adam, is that you?” A female voice carried along the hallway “Oh!” and stopped in the open bedroom doorway.

“Mom?” Adam covered them hurriedly with the duvet as Tommy snatched his hand away.

“Sorry! I didn’t realise you were…” Leila’s laughter bubbled up as she was joined by her other son.

“What the actual _fuck? Do you realise I’ll be in therapy for weeks after this!_ ” Tommy hid his face in Adam’s shoulder as Neil snorted indignantly and retreated “I’ll be in the kitchen scrubbing my eyeballs out…”

“I’ll go put the coffee on…” Leila paused, her voice soft “and I’m so happy and proud of you both…” Smiling, she turned away, pulling the door to behind her.

“I guess mom knows now…” Adam cupped Tommy’s face “not exactly the way I’d pictured it, but…” he pressed a tender kiss to Tommy’s lips “the look on Neil’s face more than makes up for it!” He pulled back to gaze into Tommy’s eyes “You okay?”

Biting his lip, Tommy shook his head.

“Don’t worry about Neil…he’s all hot air…I’ll…” Tommy’s mouth crashing on his effectively cut off Adam’s reassuring words as Tommy’s tongue plundered his mouth, sweeping the interior possessively before returning to tangle seductively with Adam’s.

“’s not Neil…” Tommy ran his tongue down the side of Adam’s neck, nipping forcefully where neck met shoulder. “’m horny… _want you so bad…”_ He sucked Adam’s earlobe into his mouth, teasing it with his teeth as Adam whimpered.     

Tommy sat up, a satisfied smile on his lips as he surveyed Adam’s dishevelled hair and glazed eyes “… _now_ you get it!” He tweaked Adam’s nipple “let’s go annoy the fuck outta your brother for interrupting our fun…” Tommy headed for the door, shaking his skinny arse and vanishing before Adam could respond.

“You could at least put some fucking clothes on!” Neil’s howl of protest had Adam’s face cracking a massive grin… _life with Tommy was going to be fucking amazing…_

“Just collecting them, dude, we kinda ripped them off when we came in, y’know…in the heat of the moment…”

“Yeah, whatever…” Neil waved his hand weakly “just…”

Tommy grinned and returned to the bedroom, dropping their assorted garments onto the bed. Dressing quickly, Adam pulled Tommy in for a fierce hug “I love you, Tommy Joe…”

“I know…”

“Cocky little fucker!”

Tommy nodded “ ** _Your_** cocky little fucker…”

Hand in hand they joined Leila and Neil in the kitchen, fond laughter breaking out all around as Leila handed them the note she’d been writing when they’d arrived, offering help with the party planning and supplies. “I’m assuming we’re celebrating more than just your upcoming projects?”

Tugging Tommy on to his lap, Adam nodded “We finally came to our senses and saw what everyone else seems to have known forever…”

“Told you!” Neil’s expression was unbearably smug until Tommy reached across and hauled him in to land a sudden kiss on his mouth. Spluttering, Neil wiped the back of his hand across his mouth as the other three fell about laughing until tears ran down their faces at the shock on the youngest Lambert sibling’s face.

Coffee was taken against a backdrop of warmth and love…

Neil and Leila left after hugging them both tightly. Minutes later Braffy arrived for his guitar lesson.

Bedroom activities were unavoidably postponed…

Landing his guitar case in the studio-study, Bradford grinned as Adam dropped onto the sofa. “Can’t bear to be apart, eh? Awww, so cute…” Braffy made kissy kissy faces as he unpacked his gear, ignoring the single finger gestures from both men.

Tommy straddled Adam’s lap and captured his mouth in a brief but tender kiss, the pair laughing when Bradford strummed the opening chords of _Fever_ as he leant nonchalantly against the wall, a fond smile on his face.

“Fucker!” Tommy slid off Adam’s lap and reached for his guitar “cheeking the teacher is a punishable offence…”

“Hahaha, so punish me big bad boss-man!”

“Today we’re going to play some of Justin Bieber’s music…” Tommy snickered at the visible shudder from his now contrite pupil.

“Okay, I promise not to cheek teacher again…”

“Thank fuck for that!” Adam clapped his hands together “Now let’s jam…whatever you guys want to play…”

Bradford and Tommy put their heads together, coming up with a mini setlist mix of Metallica, Hendrix and Adam songs. Grabbing the iPad from the window seat, Tommy googled the lyrics and handed them to Adam as Braffy launched into the opening bars of _Fade to Black…_

The studio rocked through six songs, finishing with an electric jam of _Shady._

“Yes!” Adam slung an arm around both their shoulders “fucking awesome fun…” Glancing across, he caught Bradford’s eye and nodded.

Removing Tommy’s guitar which he placed carefully against the wall, Adam took Tommy’s hands in his and led him to the sofa, pushing him down gently.

“Wha..?” Tommy’s question was cut off with a press of Adam’s lips to his.

“Something I wrote for you…”

Tommy’s mouth fell open. “This was planned? You knew?”

Braffy grinned “Sorry boss! Guilty as charged…”

Adam stroked a finger lightly down the side of Tommy’s cheek. “I hope you like it, baby…” he gazed into Tommy’s eyes “it’s from my heart, with all of my love…”

Nodding at Braffy, Adam moved back to the centre of the room as the guitar began the sweet slow melody of the song he’d written for the man he’d loved for so long.

_“From the start, that very first touch of your hand…”_

Tommy gazed at him, captivated by the emotion in Adam’s voice and the intensity of love shining from his eyes…

“… _I always knew it was you…”_

Adam’s voice soared, the lyrics wrapping themselves around Tommy’s heart so tightly he thought he couldn’t breathe…” _I always knew it was you…_

_…you and me…_

_…for eternity…”_

As the guitar faded the final notes, Adam fell into Tommy’s arms, their mouths crashing together, tears mingling as each lost themselves in the other.

Smiling indulgently, Bradford unslung his guitar and headed to the kitchen. Such a beautiful song for a beautiful couple… Tugging his phone out, Braffy called Kate…

“ _I fucking love you…”_ Tommy’s gasp as they broke apart had Adam chuckling through his tears.

“You like it, then?”

Tommy peppered Adam’s face with tiny kisses “I love it, love it, love it… _love you…”_

Words were relinquished in favour of more kisses, finally surfacing long minutes later to catch their breath.

Adam glanced around the room “We’ve scared Braffy away!”

“His guitar’s still here…” Tommy pulled his phone out “Hey!”

“Hey yourself! You guys ready for coffee?” Bradford chuckled “or do I need to give you a bit longer to get dressed?”

“Nah, we’re good, Adam’s just zipping up now!”

Bradford’s bellow of laughter echoed down the phone “Coffee’s on the way!”

Tommy met him at the door, handed the tray to Adam and folded his friend into a fierce hug “That was beautiful and you are one seriously talented motherfucker on that Fender. Now you can teach me my song…” pulling back, Tommy grinned “and for the record, I don’t know any Justin Bieber so feel free to cheek me all you like!” He squeezed tightly “I love ya, man…”

A rare blush coloured Braffy’s cheeks and he bumped Tommy’s shoulder playfully “You too…”

They spent another hour jamming until Bradford departed, leaving them alone.

After tidying the studio, Tommy took Adam’s hand and led him to the bedroom. The door closed behind them as they fell on to the bed…

The evening was spent fielding calls and emails, finalising party details and enjoying Tommy’s favourite Mexican take-out. Adam skyped with Sauli whilst Tommy had a long talk with his mom, having already spoken to his sister earlier in the day. He was grinning happily when he joined Adam in the living room.

Sauli made introductions on screen to the handsome, dark haired and muscle-bound Niko, and the two couples chatted for a short while longer.

Waving and blowing fond kisses at their screens, Adam and Tommy said goodnight. Heading off to the bedroom to watch a film, they fed _Velvet Goldmine_ into the DVD player before curling up under the duvet. They were asleep long before the final credits rolled.

Weak sunlight, filtering through the curtains on to Tommy’s face, woke him and he blinked sleepily, smiling softly as Adam gazed lovingly at him.

“How long have you been awake?” Tommy smothered a yawn and stretched cat-like, shuffling closer into Adam’s arms.

“A while; I love just looking at you…” Adam leant in for a kiss “and you’re adorable when you sleep…”

“As opposed to when I’m awake?” Tommy grinned, amused.

“Awake you’re poetry in motion, baby…” Adam’s eyes flared with heat “and talking of _motion…_ ” his hand slid lower, Tommy’s gasp lost to their fiery kiss…

Weak at the knees, they staggered to the bathroom to share a shower, emerging clean and glowing. Careful choices of clothing managed to cover most new brandings from public view and both had a spring in their step as they parted in the car park.

Adam headed to meet Bradford at the offices of RCA for what he suspected would be the final showdown. In the light of the recent developments in his personal life, Adam was more than ready for the fight, buoyed up with the love and passion from Tommy and the knowledge that Tommy would support him without question in whatever he chose to do…

Bumping knuckles with Braffy, they squared their shoulders and made for the revolving doors “Let’s go kick some arse…” Nodding determinedly they disappeared inside.

Numerous blocks away, Tommy and Sutan were settled in a private booth in Sutan’s favourite diner, Sutan devouring every detail of Tommy’s update. Watching his friend as he glowed with happiness, Sutan concluded that being in love suited him perfectly.

Breakfast finished, they headed out to Lee’s to start the party preparations…

Back at RCA, proceedings were as expected…

With everything as organised as it could be this early in the day, Sutan and Tommy hugged Scarlet, twirled a giggling Riff in the air and departed, heading back to Sutan’s to put the final touches to _Sandy_ and her surprise appearance.

Tommy hummed as he opened the front door, content with his lot in life…so content he was seriously considering screaming it from the deck…

With remarkable self-control, he reined it in, settling for a happy spin on the spot as he dropped his keys onto the hall table. With a grin a mile wide, he skipped into the living room, sliding to a sudden halt at the sight of Adam sat on the sofa nursing a glass of Jack.

“Oh fuck…”

“Yeah, that’ll about do it…” Adam lifted the glass and tipped the rest of the amber coloured spirit down his throat, grimacing as it burned its way down. “Well, we lost the fight, but we went out on a high…we told them hell would freeze over before I did an 80s cover album so they could go fuck themselves…”

Tommy raised his eyebrows but said nothing, waiting for Adam to finish.

“Well, obviously not in exactly those words…Braffy told them an 80s cover album was a criminal waste of my talents and an original album was the only obvious way forward, given that my fans support me totally and would ensure I made them money…” He grinned crookedly “It was a fantastic thing to witness – Braffy in full flight is an awesome sight – but, to no avail. They simply pointed out that my fans would buy anything I release so a cover album would sell anyway and with the lack of commercial success of any of the singles from _Trespassing…_ singles which _they_ fucking chose…”

Adam shrugged and poured another generous slug of Jack into his glass, offering it to Tommy first. Tommy took a mouthful and savoured the mellow, smoky flavour. Landing the glass on the low table, he dropped to his knees, pushing into the space between Adam’s legs and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck.

“They don’t fucking deserve you, so screw them…we’ll go independent and watch them wish they’d fucking listened when Era3 goes platinum…”

Adam chuckled at the fierce expression on Tommy’s face, sliding his arms around Tommy’s trim waist before capturing his lips in a tender kiss, tongues chasing the lingering taste of the spirit around each other’s mouths.

Resting his forehead against Tommy’s, Adam let out a gentle sigh “I was hoping you’d say that because I’ve just walked away from my contract with them. I am, as they say in the business, an indie without a record deal… If things don’t work out you’ll be out of a job and living with an old has-been…”

“You’re a fucking awesome talent; you write, sing, host, act and have the sexiest badass moves on the fucking planet! You won’t be on the market for long!” Tommy pressed closer, moving to breathe low and seductive against Adam’s ear “so as you currently have no official responsibilities, would now be a good time to give me that lesson?”

Before Adam could reply, Tommy ducked down to mouth against Adam’s zip, the response instant and testing the strength of the stitching to its limits. One wanton moan later and Adam scooped Tommy into his arms as they headed for the bedroom.

Record labels were nowhere on the agenda…

Tommy proved to be an outstanding student, reducing his teacher to a molten, quivering heap, once in the bedroom and again in the shower. After Adam had showed his appreciation and they’d washed each other, hunger of a different kind was causing tummies to rumble.

Fixing a quick sandwich, they sat at the breakfast bar in companionable silence. Draining his orange juice, Adam slid a sheet of paper across for Tommy to read. “It’s my open letter to the press regarding my split with RCA. I had to give them six weeks’ notice of intention to leave and then I can tell whom I like. RCA won’t like my statement but tough shit; they retain copyright over my existing work for re-releasing and such – there’s nothing to stop them doing a Greatest Hits album and the only royalties I’ll get are if they use any songs I’ve written on…” A wry smile curved his lips “The price of artistic freedom…”

Reaching for Adam’s hand to press a kiss to his knuckles, Tommy rubbed the captive fingers against his cheek “a price worth paying…”

“Agreed…” Adam dragged Tommy’s stool closer and gazed into his eyes “ _How did I get so lucky? Having you in my life…”_ his voice cracked and tears glistened.

Tommy pressed his lips to Adam’s, the kiss slow and deep and full of promise…”I’m always going to be here…” he lifted his wrist “eternity, remember…”

“ _I always knew it was you…”_ Their kiss moved beyond anything shared before as time stood still and spirits soared…

 _Enter Sandman_ split the quiet and they pulled apart. “Yeah?” Tommy panted somewhat breathlessly.

“Honey, _never_ stop that kind of action to answer your phone!” Sutan giggled, highly amused.

“We’re just finishing a bit of lunch…”

“Well that’s a new euphemism for it…I’ll be quick…heading to Lee’s about four thirty. I’ve got everything we need. Now get back to your man-wich, Vayvee…” Still chuckling, Sutan rang off.

“We need to leave for Lee’s around half four…”

Adam grinned wickedly “That gives us just over two hours…” He tongued the piercings in Tommy’s ear.

“You’re insatiable…”

“You’re irresistible…” Adam pressed a kiss to Tommy’s lips, tongue claiming ownership of his mouth as it explored with possessive intent. “And I’m playing catch-up for all those times we _almost_ got it together… _I don’t want to miss a single moment of the time I have with you…”_  

Tommy moaned softly as Adam licked his way down the side of his neck and his blood supply decided it wasn’t adverse to a repeat performance, heading south to swell impressively in his jeans.

Linking their hands Adam led him to the sofa and they fell into each other’s arms as mouths crashed together, passions rising. Time ceased to exist as they gave themselves to sensation…

Damp haired and giggling, they hopped around the bedroom, slithering into jeans, clean t-shirts and shirts for the evening with their friends.

An evening to celebrate love.

Scarlet took one look at their faces as they presented her with a massive bouquet and squealed loudly, hugging them both tightly. “I’m so happy for you boys…” she winked “Lee’s gonna flip! We’ve been waiting for you to get it together for so long…”

“Unca Adam!” Riff hurtled towards them, his delight evident as Adam scooped him up and spun him around. “See my trains…”

Tommy ruffled Riff’s curls and dropped a light kiss to Adam’s mouth. “You go play and I’ll find Lee and Sutan…”

Adam nodded, shifting Riff onto his shoulders “Love you…”

Scarlet linked her arm in Tommy’s and they headed out to the deck. “I love seeing you both so happy. You’ve loved him for so long” she squeezed his arm “Lee’s got some amazing pictures of the pair of you…”

Tommy chuckled “Adam showed me. He said he’d never noticed how I looked at him in them, only the way _he_ looked at _me..._ Then I showed him a fan video from GlamNation where I’m giving him doe eyes every time we’re in contact on stage…”

“Everyone else could see it…” she laughed “are you telling people tonight?”

“We thought we’d let them work it out…hahaha but I don’t think it’ll take long” Tommy burst into laughter as he pictured his _Sandy_ outfit and routine “you wanna be let in on a secret?” Dropping his voice to a whisper, Tommy shared his plans.

They were still giggling when they tracked Lee and Sutan down in the barn, sorting the electrics for the big screen. In the barbeque pit, a white-aproned chef was basting the hog roast and the mouth-watering aroma drifted on the breeze.

The friends got to work, laying out chairs, tables, plates and cutlery. Tommy set out the bar and glasses before heading back to the main house to collect the bags of ice.

Peering around the door of the playroom his heart melted at the sight of Adam and Riff happily engrossed in playing trains. Pulling out his phone he snapped some quick pictures, ducking away before they saw him, not wanting to interrupt their fun.

Laden with four large bags of ice, he returned to the others. Scarlet had been busy laying out salad, bread and pickles as the chef unwrapped plates of steak, salmon and sausages, along with Riff’s requested fish fingers. Long lines of pepper, onion, mushroom and tomato kebabs sat ready to be cooked.

Everything was set.

Isaac and a very pregnant Sophie were first to arrive, followed almost immediately by Leila, Ray, Neil and Elisse.

After hugging the arrivals, Tommy vanished to get himself ready with Sutan. Diving into the changing rooms at the pool they transformed, Scarlet’s message telling them everyone else had arrived, perfectly timed as Raja added a final slick of lipstick.

Tapping a swift reply for Scarlet to stand by with Adam’s knitted sports jacket and cue the music, Tommy squeezed his feet into the impossibly high wooden wedge mules and shook his head, blonde wig curling prettily around his shoulders. “These satin pants are riding right up my crack!”

Raja giggled and slapped his arse “you look stunning in them, Vayvee…you could be Olivia Newton John’s twin! Adam’s gonna love it!”  She offered her arm “shall we?”

As they approached, the track started _I got chills, they’re multiplying, and I’m losing control…_

Cheers and delighted applause rang out as _Sandy_ hip wiggled over to a stunned Adam… _Danny…_ A huge grin illuminating his face, Adam threw himself into the impromptu performance.

 _Sandy_ peeled off her leather jacket, Tommy grinning at the heat flaring in Adam’s eyes as he took in the tiny black top and spray-on satin pants. They skipped amongst their friends during the chorus… _you’re the one that I want…_ Tommy pausing to lean seductively against the bar for the second verse. As _Sandy_ ran a hand lightly down her thigh, mouthing the words, Adam closed in and folded Tommy into his arms, crushing their mouths together for a passionate kiss.

If they’d been indoors, the screams and whistles would’ve lifted the roof.

Oblivious of their audience now, Adam and Tommy lost themselves in each other until Neil’s bunched up napkin hit them on the side of their heads and they came up for air, eyes glazed, lips glistening pink and kiss swollen… “Oi, enough of the snogging already! People are going to be eating!”

Laughter rang out at Neil’s indignant expression as his brother showed him the finger and tugged Tommy back for another kiss.

They emerged without the need for any more missiles, cuddling close and enjoying the moment. Raja strolled elegantly across to join them “Your Chinese Idol is on in fifteen minutes…” she raised a coiffured eyebrow “maybe _Sandy_ would be more comfortable out of those pants…”

Understanding instantly, pink tinging their cheeks at Raja’s knowing look, they linked hands and disappeared into the changing rooms, Neil’s shouted warning drawing bellows of laughter from the assembled friends and family “Keep it down, we don’t want to hear any loud horny moaning…”

Behind closed doors, Adam wrapped Tommy back into his arms “That was such a blast and you look absolutely fucking hot in those pants…” Their mouths met in a messy kiss, teeth clashing as each sought to control the kiss. Adam’s fingers fumbled at the side zip, struggling to get a firm grip on the tiny tag.

Pulling his lips away, Tommy huffed impatiently and batted Adam’s hand aside, tugging down the zipper with a sigh of relief “Thank fuck for that, they were so fucking tight they were cutting off the circulation to my balls…”

Adam gasped at the realisation Tommy was commando under the satin, plunging his hand inside the fabric to stroke hot, hard flesh. Tommy’s grunt of pleasure morphed into a whine of disappointment as Adam stopped after a few firm pumps. “Later, baby, I want to take my time with you…” he nipped Tommy’s lip “going to make you beg for it…”

All remaining corpuscles joined the party below his waistline, leaving Tommy babbling and light-headed and totally helpless as Adam stripped the black satin from his skin, replacing it with his Superman underpants, psychedelic guitar socks and skinny black jeans on the bottom half; swapping the tiny black top for RuPaul Drag Race t-shirt to complete the restoration.

With wig carefully replaced in its storage bag and earrings in the box in Sutan’s make-up chest, they kissed tenderly, entwined their fingers and headed back outside. The food was ready and plates were being filled, the drinks flowed and the sound of happy conversation interspersed with the merry clink of cutlery on china filled the deck.

A few minutes later the big screen glowed into life and Chinese Idol started. Adam’s guest spot performing _Mad World_ was in the middle of the show and it was switched off once the brief accompanying interview had aired.

Expecting the screen to go dark, Adam was surprised yet again when the programme was replaced with a rolling slideshow of wonderful images – photos of Adam, Tommy, Sutan and Raja, Lee, Scarlett and Riff, Isaac and Sophie, Leila, Eber and the young Lambert siblings from way back; breath-taking scenic views of sunrise and poppy fields, images of each and every one of the people present. It was the most powerful reminder that they were all _family…for now…for always…_      

The evening blended into night and the friends mingled, chatting contentedly… Tommy knelt down next to Sophie’s chair, pressing his hand to her tummy. He jumped and beamed as baby Carpenter kicked. Climbing up off his knees, he kissed Sophie’s cheek softly. “You’re going to be an amazing mom…”

Sophie smiled and nodded at her husband. “We’ve decided that if it’s a boy we’re going to call him Joseph Tommy…and whatever it is, we’d like you to be Godfather…”

Tommy’s happy grin lit the surrounding space and he hauled Isaac out of his chair to crush him into a fierce hug. “I’m honoured, and yes, yes please…”

Sophie chuckled “baby’s going mad in here, I think they’re pleased they’re going to have such a wonderful Godparent…” She slid her hand into Tommy’s “…and we are so happy for you and Adam too, it’s been so long coming. I’ve never seen him as happy as he is now…”

They looked over to where Adam was dancing with Riff and Millie, his head thrown back, laughing with total abandon… _not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move…_ Tommy’s heart swelled with possessive love… _makes me feel like I can’t live without you…_

_…mine…all mine…_

_…and it takes me all the way…_

Memories of their lovemaking earlier that day flooded his head and he was powerless to prevent the tiny moan from escaping.

… _I want you to stay…_

Sophie’s hand squeezing his captive fingers dragged him back to the here and now and his cheeks coloured as she leant closer to whisper “he’s _that_ good, yeah?” She winked knowingly “he always did have the most amazing hip thrusts on stage…”

Tommy burst into a fit of hysterical giggles, nodding enthusiastic agreement “let’s just say I can’t get enough of him…” He looked up to see Adam gazing at him across the deck, their eyes meeting as they shared a tender smile.

Nudging her husband with her toe, Sophie grinned “Oh, to be that much in love!”

Isaac grinned back, tugging her soft shoe off to massage his wife’s foot and ankle just how she liked it “we don’t do so bad…” he blew her a kiss “love you, angel…”    

Tommy sighed happily as he gazed around at all his friends…his family… He fucking loved them all.

They finally fell into bed just after three, sleeping late into the morning…

The week flew by, with the days filled to the brim; lunch with Brad – the three of them just like that first time, a show with Raja and more jamming with Braffy under the now very inaccurate title of _guitar lesson!_

One complete day was spent collecting the rest of his things from Mike and Tanya’s and an emotional final trip down to the car. Fierce hugs and gruff farewells were exchanged along with the reminder that Tommy’s old bass and stinky sneakers would need regular visitations to ensure they weren’t being ill-treated…”you have to leave something behind so the room’s still yours.”

“You daft fucker!” Tommy tugged his bestie back into another hug. “Love ya, dawg…”

Mike grinned “Get outta here, fuckwit!”

Adam was waiting for him, helping him to unload and stow his belongings in their bedroom. With the final box unpacked and order restored, Adam led him out to the elevator, urging a compliant but puzzled Tommy through the doors where he pressed the button for the ground floor and gathered Tommy into his arms to kiss him sweetly. As soon as they hit the ground floor, Adam released him and stood still, allowing the doors to open and close once more. The kiss was repeated on the ascent, deepening in intensity, tongue probing, hotter…wetter…building…

Emerging on the top floor, Adam led him back to the apartment, opened the door and swept Tommy off his feet to carry him over threshold. Pausing only to kick the door shut, he headed back to the bedroom to love his boyfriend into the cosmos...

Morning arrived early with the alarm at five o’clock. Curled up in Adam’s arms as they faced each other, legs tangled, Tommy sighed softly, contentment resonating with every breath. “What time’s the car coming?”

“Six fifteen” Adam buried his face in Tommy’s hair, breathing in the fresh aroma of his lemon and ginger shampoo mingled with that unique scent that was _just Tommy._ “I want to stay here with you…in bed…just us…”

Grinning at the mumbled grumbles, Tommy slid his hand down Adam’s side to rest on his hip “Ten minutes and then we have to get up…” his fingers danced lightly over Adam’s flesh, heading for more central territory. His voice dropped to a throaty whisper “…although, nothing stopping us _getting up_ before we get up…” Those fingers closed round their target as it leapt to attention at Tommy’s words.

Claiming Adam’s mouth in a fiery kiss, Tommy worked his boyfriend to an explosive climax, before leading him to the shower to wash him thoroughly from head to toe. Batting Adam’s hands away as he reached for him, Tommy shook his head. “All about you this time, Babyboy…” Turning the shower off, he reached for a towel and dried them both, pressing soft kisses to Adam’s freckled skin at frequent intervals.

Finally dressed and ready with his flight bag and small case by the door, Adam wrapped Tommy back into his arms. “Miss you already and I haven’t even gone yet…”

“Sap!” Tommy grinned into the kiss as Adam claimed his mouth, tongue exploring every contour as if to memorise it for the time they’d be apart.

Both were panting heavily when they resurfaced.

They stood by the window waiting for the car to arrive, Tommy’s blond mop tucked under Adam’s chin, each content to just enjoy the quiet in the warmth and closeness of the other.

As the car pulled up at the front of the building, _Fever_ shattered the peace. Without releasing his hold on his trim bundle of guitarist, Adam answered his phone with a brief “On my way down” and shoved it back into his pocket.

He clung on tighter as Tommy made to move away. “Just another minute…”

Tommy’s hands snaked under Adam’s top, stroking his warm flesh with a feather-light touch. Squeezing hard, he stepped back and held out his hand. “Walk you to the elevator?”

Nodding, Adam curled his hand around Tommy’s and they made for the door, sharing a final kiss as they waited for the elevator to arrive.

“Message me when you’re on the plane…”

“Love you, my Tommy Joe…”

“Love you too, now go kick arse in Vienna...” Pressing his lips to Adam’s knuckles, Tommy let go and watched his boyfriend disappear as the doors closed. Feeling suddenly bereft, Tommy returned to their apartment and flopped on the bed. Dragging Adam’s pillow into his arms he cuddled it, eyes closing.

His phone beeping woke him an hour later, Adam was through security and waiting for his omelette in the executive lounge. He was meeting some of the others on this private flight as soon as he’d finished his breakfast. **Missing you like crazy. Message you again on the plane. ILY I always knew it was you xAx**

Warmth spread though Tommy’s veins at the use of his song. He thumbed a quick reply and headed to the kitchen for sustenance. **You and me for eternity LY TJ x**

After some blueberry pancakes he kept himself occupied by sorting through all Adam’s new songs and playing each of them, imagining Adam sat on the sofa listening with him.

Adam’s pictures and messages from the plane brought a smile to his face **It’s a party up here in the clouds…**

**Hahaha honey are you up there?**

**Quoting my lyrics at me smart arse!**

Opening IG on his phone, Tommy propped it up on the music stand and filmed himself shaking his skinny butt at the camera, the recording picking up his muffled giggles in the fifteen second clip. Sharing it to Adam’s messages, Tommy signed off with a heart-eyed smiley **My arse is yours, Babyboy… Have fun x**  

Scrolling through Twitter for the first time in ages, Tommy tweeted a picture of his guitar and some blank sheet music on the stand #creatingnewmusic As always, his fans were there to boost his spirits, filling his feed with love and a million questions. He answered a few and retweeted some fanart before closing it.

Sutan dragged him out for lunch and off to the club to help interview some potential new queens, keeping him so busy he didn’t have a second to mope. After securing a promise for Tommy’s interview services again the next day, Sutan hugged him to a pulp and set him free for his next appointment – dinner with his mom.

He was home just before eleven and headed straight to the bedroom, removing his boots and jacket, but remaining fully dressed as he stretched out, his phone on the pillow beside his head.

With a few minutes still to wait, he changed his message tone to Adam’s giggle from the end of _Pick You Up_ and his ringtone to _Love Wins Over Glamour_ from the studio version Adam had recorded the same day as the promotional video. As he checked the time yet again, it showed eleven o’clock precisely…

His butterflies hopped excitedly in anticipation…

True to Adam-form it was approaching ten past when his phone rang and he snatched it up eagerly.  

“Hi, gorgeous…” Adam’s voice set Tommy’s heart beating double time “sorry I’m a bit late, I went for a run.” His voice dropped to a throaty whisper “I’m all hot and sweaty…”

Tommy’s hand clutched convulsively around his phone “You need to lie on your bed... Do it now, Adam…”

Tommy ginned at the heavy breathing and frantic scrabbling noises at the other end of the line.  

“Tell me what you’re wearing…” Tommy’s hungry growl sent Adam’s blood supply surging south so rapidly he felt light-headed.

“Black vest with the Leonardo print, long black shorts, white socks…black jersey boxers…” there was silence on the other end “Baby..?”

“Sshh, ’m picturing you… Put the phone on speaker and close your eyes…’m on our bed…got my head on your pillow. ’m wearing your glittery zebra t-shirt and those tight pale blue pants you like…” there was a soft moan as he pressed down on the hot swelling “can you see me Babyboy..?”

“Yes…” Adam moaned.

“Need you to get undressed…slowly…” Tommy smiled at the deep intake of breath by his ear. Raja was right, this was fucking powerful stuff. He took a breath himself and continued. “…tell me…tell me what you’re doing…imagine it’s my hands undressing you…I want you naked so I can run my fingers over your freckled skin…”

Delicious shivers of anticipation ran down Adam’s spine “I’m pulling the vest up and over my head, now I’m undoing the bow on my…”

“…slower…use one hand…slide the other one down your body over your clothes…need to _feel how hot you are for me…tell me Babyboy…”_

The deep moan of longing sent a surge of heat to Tommy’s already charged groin and he suppressed a whimper _wait…control it…_ “…left hand undoing the tie cord bow on my shorts, finger and thumb; other hand is rubbing my nipples…” a gasp “they’re hard for you Tommy…I want to pinch them…imagine it’s your hand…then your mouth…”

“oohhmmmhhh!” a strangled cry escaped Tommy’s lips as Tommy’s low whisper continued, intense and laden with desire…

“shorts undone, pushing them down…” there was a brief pause and the soft rustle of fabric “they’re on the floor…”

“touch your skin…tell me…how does it feel… _tell me Adam…I want to feel you…”_

 _“_ left hand flat on my stomach, fingers spread. My skin is warm…smooth…moving up… Right hand is on my thigh, moving in…” Adam groaned as his fingers brushed the throbbing heat in his pants, fiery desire shooting to every nerve ending as he arched his head back into the pillow, the movement mirrored many miles away in their LA bedroom…the images converged as both men lost themselves in the moment…

“I’m touching my nipples…they’re hot and hard…want your mouth on them…”

“ _I’m there_ baby…touching mine, stroking through the hair…lick your fingers…circle the nipple with your finger…pinch it….” Twin moans of pleasure echoed across the airwaves as each saw the other in their heads… “More…please Tommy Joe… _want you…”_

 _“fuck! I need you Adam…_ pants off – _now!_ Fucking rip ‘em off and chuck ‘em across the room…together…” heavy breathing sounded at both ends of the phone as underwear was tugged down and kicked away…

“I’m so hot for you Glitterbaby… _you’re here…with me…your hands on me, your lips on my chest…”_

 _“I’m nipping your skin, sucking hard…marking you as mine…”_ Tommy’s fingers ran hungrily over his own chest, pinching and tweaking his nipples, biting hard on his bottom lip in an attempt to stop the heavy panting drowning out the hoarse whispers in his ear…

“ _Feels so good, baby…feels so fucking good…”_ Adam broke off with a deep guttural moan.

“Slower… _make it last…tell me how you feel…”_

_“…like I can’t breathe…I need you so bad Tommy…need to touch...feel you…”_

_“fingers lower, but don’t touch…tease it…so hot and hard for you…so hard it hurts…”_ two pairs of hips canted off respective beds as fingertips crept closer, each trembling with anticipation as touch stoked raging fires of feral need…

“ _touch me…”_ they breathed together, moans rising as each closed a hand around the desperate heat and squeezed firmly…

“ _…oh fuck! Adam…want you so fucking much…”_

_“Love me, Tommy Joe…take me…please…”_

The airwaves resonated with the carnal sounds of hands fisting hard as they thrust their hips in unison, creeping their other hand around to slip a fingertip into their bodies, the action driving them even closer to the edge…

They felt the burning, starting deep in their bellies and spreading outwards through every tingling nerve ending…closer… _closer… ”uuurrrgghh…so close…so…fuck...love you…love you so much…loveyouloveyouloveyou…yeeeeeeessss..!”_ They followed each other into oblivion, panting hard as they exploded, hot and sticky into their hands, the exquisite bliss of release leaving them trembling as they came down from their orgasmic high and the drowsy warmth of the afterglow settled on their bodies…both wriggling in unconscious and unspoken synchronous movement as they grabbed the edge of the duvet, using the soft fabric to mop themselves up.

 Heavy-limbed, each settled under their respective duvets. “Love you, Babyboy…”

“Love you, _my Tommy Joe_ …” happy and sated, words mumbled as eyes closed and they slipped into sleep.  

Tommy slept late the following morning, waking to a series of loved up messages from Adam as he’d been through his day – a bit of PR parading and interviewing, an official photo shoot, and rehearsals, both for the performance and the red carpet.

Adam’s day ended with a pre-party and he’d sent an array of pictures of him dancing with a bevvy of pretty girls… **nobody comes close to you… xAx**

Replying to the final message, Tommy threw himself into the day and he’d barely stopped to draw breath by the time the red carpet was ready to start. Brad, as self-imposed keeper of company for Tommy in Adam’s absence, wandered through with two bottles of beer and heaped plates of Chinese take-out on a tray. Setting it down, they clinked bottles “Open Sesame”

Both had the same filthy thought as they dissolved into helpless giggles…

Adam shone in his role as Ali Barba, looking shit hot in his outfit… _bedroom role play and Halloween for sure…_      

The show was long but breath-taking and the glittering array of beautiful costumes was a sight to behold. Another triumph for his talented boyfriend; co-writing the opening song and performing in front of billions across the planet…pride swelled in Tommy’s heart.

Farewell hugs and thanks for Brad preceded a hot shower… _hot in more ways than one as he re-lived the previous night…_

Tommy fell into bed and was asleep in moments.

Adam was barely home before they were off to the airport again, this time to meet Sauli who’d managed to grab a couple of days away from his commitments. Adam stayed in the car out of sight as Tommy hid under a plain baseball cap at the arrivals gate.

Happy reunions ensued, the friends talking well into the night before Sauli returned to his ground floor new apartment.

The following day saw Adam awarded the Hope of L.A. presented by the Mayor. The media attention was huge, with the press going into meltdown at Sauli’s presence in the audience. Speculation was rife and the three of them snickered as Adam and Sauli strolled down to the local shops together, looking like an obscure variation on the Pied Piper with their procession of paps following.

Back in the apartment, they studied the pictures now flooding Twitter, saving a few of the better ones, before moving on to choose the images from the official photographer for Adam’s keepsake folder. Unanimous nods confirmed his order of three copies of the picture of the three of them… _friends always…_

Sauli set off for his return flight to Helsinki, hugging them both fiercely and promising to bring Niko as soon as they both had time off. Tipping his new hat to a jaunty angle, Sauli winked and vanished through security.

They were in the car on the way home when they got the call from Isaac.

Pulling over, they shouted congratulations and blew loud kisses, arranging to visit in a few hours. As Adam eased the car back into the stream of traffic, Tommy did the round of calls as promised…

Happy times were so much better shared…

After a diverted shopping trip to gather all things pink and cute, plus a huge pamper basket for Sophie and a bottle of champagne, they headed home.

As Adam hummed contentedly, cooking omelettes, Tommy wrapped their gifts for his new God-daughter _Tegan Rose Carpenter._ Seeing Adam so happy, it hit him how domestic and beautiful his life was with Adam. Gazing across the kitchen at his boyfriend, Adam glanced up and their eyes met, that same electric connection now tempered with familiarity and the total encompassing warmth of love.

Adam grinned and waved Tommy’s guitar spatula he was using “Five minutes, baby…”

Nodding, Tommy moved the wrapped parcels safely out of the way.

_I fucking love this man…_

With their doggedly determined pap following, they set off for the hospital after their meal. Climbing out of the car, with the usual barrage of questions demanding to know if he and Sauli were back together again, Adam was overcome with the need to wrap his hand in Tommy’s and show the world his true feelings.

Instead, he reined it in and made do with a brush of their fingers as they handed gift bags over.

Smiling through gritted teeth, he shook his head “C’mon guys, we’ve said it all before, now just leave me and my friends alone…” Turning towards the hospital entrance, Adam fought the instinctive urge to drape his arm around Tommy’s shoulder. Ignoring all calls from behind them, they strode through the doors.

Tommy was quiet as they made their way to maternity, signing in at the visitors window and showing their ID. At least they could guarantee no unwelcome attention in here…

As they followed the directions to Sophie’s room, Adam flicked anxious sideways glances at his boyfriend. Tommy appeared vexed, chewing absently on his bottom lip.

“You okay, baby?”

“Huh? Yeah, ‘m good…”

“You looked miles away…” the verbal nudge was gentle, but apparently not subtle enough as Tommy grinned at him.

“Oh, those fuckers out front didn’t upset me, don’t worry about that. I was just thinking about how I can make sure I’m a worthy Godparent…y’know, like you are for Riff, so any tips…” Huge brown eyes looked hopefully at him and Adam’s heart melted.

He just had to touch…

…now…

A swift glance around the endless corridor they were in provided the answer…not ideal, but in the circumstances…

As they drew level with the doorway, Adam tugged on Tommy’s sleeve, steering him into the visitor restroom. With no time for explanations, Adam flicked the door lock and slid one hand around the back of his boyfriend’s neck, pulling him closer, before capturing his lips in a kiss full of love, passion and everything he ever wanted to say in public…

Time hung suspended as Tommy gave himself to the wonders of Adam’s talented mouth and tongue. 

Stepping back when they ran out of air, Adam surveyed his handiwork; Tommy’s eyes were glazed, his cheeks adorably flushed and his lips glistened pink from the intensity of Adam’s kisses. _I love him so fucking much…_

Swiftly unlocking the door, Adam stepped out into the path of a young nurse, almost knocking her over. Catching sight of the obviously zoned-out blond behind him, she giggled, winked at them and carried on her way.

Adam chuckled “I love this town!”

Bumping shoulders affectionately, they found Sophie’s room moments later.

With hugs and congratulations they handed over their gifts, taking it in turns to cuddle Tegan carefully as Isaac snapped pictures. Finally Adam took some shots of Sophie, Tegan and Isaac with Tommy and they left the happy family after about half an hour, not wanting to tire Sophie after her mammoth thirty hour labour.

The paps had vanished when they reached the car and they headed home. Once again, Tommy was quiet, squeezing Adam’s hand when he reached across as they waited at stop lights.

Arriving at the apartment, Tommy was back to his badass self and they settled down on the floor in the studio to work out a setlist for Pittsburgh ahead of rehearsals in the morning.

Two coffees and several calls to the organisers later they had twelve songs, ten main set and a double encore. Starting with the tried and tested crowd favourites _If I had you_ , _Naked Love, Cuckoo_ and _Never Close our Eyes,_ they added a personal favourite _Music Again_ to the up-tempo openers, before moving into the slower but funkier beat of _Chokehold, Shout, Whataya want from me_ and one of Adam’s absolute favourites to perform, _Dragon Attack;_ finally finishing with the super-funky _Shady,_ which would include the band intros as usual. The encore would be back to full-on badass beat with _Are You Gonna Go My Way_ and _Trespassing._

Adam sat back, tapping his lips with his pencil. “I think that’ll give ‘em a show…” He glanced at Tommy’s furrowed brow.

“Spill it, Ratliff!”

Tommy’s single finger reply was totally expected and happily confirmed there was nothing seriously bothering his gorgeous Pretty Kitty. With no words currently forthcoming from said cute guitarist and hot, sexy boyfriend, Adam leant back against the sofa, knowing that Tommy would speak when ready.

Setting aside his notebook and pen, Tommy crawled across to Adam and straddled his lap, linking his hands behind Adam’s head. Adam chuckled as Tommy rubbed against him like a kitten. As Adam pressed for a kiss, Tommy sat back and shook his head minutely.

Arching an eyebrow, Adam opened his mouth, closing it again as Tommy planted a finger against his lips.

“Can we add another song to the encore?”

Whatever Adam was expecting, it certainly wasn’t that. “What did you have in mind?”

“ _Fever_ ” The heat flared in Tommy’s eyes as he stared intently at his boyfriend “and I want to bring the kiss back…”

Realisation lit Adam’s face “You want to tell the fans about us?”

Pressing their lips together softly, Tommy smiled “I want to tell _the world_ about us. I want to be able to hold your hand and not worry about someone seeing, I want to be able to stop in the street and hug you… _I want everyone to know you’re mine…”_

“This is life changing…you’re sure you want to come out…” Adam stoked a finger down the side of Tommy’s face. “You don’t have to do this for me…”

“I _want_ to do it… _for me, for you…for us…”_ Tommy blinked the sudden tears away “Is that okay…is it too soon?”

Adam reached across to their sheet music pile and rifled through it, pulling out _Fever._ Picking up his pencil he scribbled three words in the margin next to the kiss phrase. Grinning, he held the sheet under Tommy’s nose _repeat as necessary…_ “I never want to be rushed when I’m kissing you so they can keep playing until we’re ready…”

Tommy watched as _Fever_ was filed in between _Shady_ and _Are you gonna go my way_ with the rest of the set and the pile of songs were replaced on top of his notebook.

“Now…” Adam settled Tommy more firmly on his lap and cupped his face gently “as it’s been a while since we had kissing in _Fever_ , I think we need to get some practice in…”

Tommy’s “ _I love you”_ was lost as their lips met in a fiery kiss…


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we reach the end of our journey.  
> Thank you so much to everyone who's read it and especial love to those lovely people who've commented - thank you all for your company - I've absolutely loved writing it.  
> I hope you enjoy.

Epilogue

“Liberty Avenue…home of Pride…” Adam hopped excitedly on the spot and gazed around him with wide eyes. A series of tiny squawks and two full stretch arm spins and he was back with them. “I’ve been looking forward to this ever since the opening episode of _Queer As Folk…_ ”

Bradford groaned “don’t get him started on that again…and before you ask, no I don’t know which streetlamp Justin leant against!”

Tommy grinned and shoved his boyfriend with his hip “Another cute blond, huh?”

Adam stuck his tongue out “not as cute as you, _of course…_ ”

Collective giggles rippled through the group of friends. “At least no kissing on the street today…” Rick winked.

“Tomorrow’s a different story… We can go to Ba…”

“You know Babylon doesn’t exist, right?” Braffy assumed the air of a teacher talking to an errant pupil “There’s nothing that big here and the show was actually filmed in Canada…closest nightclubs to that are 941 Saloon or Pegasus and there’s a couple of smaller places; Images Bar and There Video Lounge which are said to be welcoming and friendly…” nodding, he grinned “I did my homework! Oh, and for the record, Kate and I also watched a few episodes of _Queer as Folk_ and we thought it was hot as fuck!”

Laughter filled the air as they explored the shops and bars in a merry crowd, finally settling in Webster’s Hotel Bar where they ran through the arrangements for the extra encore once more. With everyone crammed into the booth, Adam squeezed Tommy’s hand under the table, thumb stroking his skin softly.

Their server returned with the rest of the coffees and a tray of sticky ginger cake. “With our compliments and we’re very much looking forward to the show tonight…enjoy and just shout if you want anything else.” Nodding, she hip swished away, leaving wide smiles and lively chatter in her wake. When they finally dragged themselves away, they left a generous tip and a full band signed napkin.

It was approaching three when they returned to the hotel and began sorting their stuff out ready for soundcheck and the rest of the evening. Braffy had excelled in his room allocation, sourcing a luxury bath for Ash, a balcony with views over the pool for Rick and Brian, and adjoining premier rooms with a connecting door for Adam and Tommy. Tommy could stay with Adam without raising any eyebrows prior to their official unveiling. Everyone was happy…

Delving into his case, Adam pulled out three different tops and laid them out on the bed. “I can’t decide which one to wear… What do you think?”

Tommy grinned and pointed.

“That was pretty instantaneous. Why that one?”

“I like the way it ripples around your body when you move…’so fuckin’ sexy…”

The clothes hangers in Tommy’s hands clattered to the floor as Adam swept him into his arms and captured his mouth. “Talking of _sexy…_ ”

Unpacking was temporarily suspended…

Many blissful minutes had passed when they surfaced, hair dishevelled, eyes glazed and lips deliciously pink and swollen from multiple kisses. Warmth tingling through their bodies, they cuddled together for a few more stolen moments, before regretfully moving apart.

Unpacking resumed at speed and they were just about ready when Braffy knocked on the door as arranged. Noting the flushed cheeks and tightly entwined hands, he grinned, nudging Tommy with his shoulder as the pair joined him in the hallway.

Tommy’s single finger gesture was accompanied with a happy smile and the three chuckled their way down to the lobby to meet the others, Adam and Tommy moving to either side of Bradford as they exited the elevator.

The minibus was waiting outside and moments later they were headed to the sound stage.

After sound checking _Whataya want from me, Music Again_ and _Chokehold_ they jammed to _Purple Haze_ and _Vogue_ for the sheer fun of those songs.

Braffy air-played along with them, a huge smile on his face suddenly sparking a flash of brilliance in Tommy’s head and he bounced across to Adam to share his thoughts. Adam’s face lit up and they had an impromptu band meeting to accommodate the changes.

As Adam watched the man he loved laughing and shoving with Braffy, his heart swelled with pride…s _o_ a _ppropriate in the circumstances of tonight’s outing…_   

Satisfied with the sound, they headed back to the hotel. Adam and Brian met in Brian’s room for final fine tuning of the transitions, whilst Tommy vanished down to the basement with Braffy…as the concierge said, what better place to practice away from everyone!

For the next hour, Tommy took Braffy through every note until he was pitch perfect and they bumped triumphant knuckles as they returned to the elevator.

Pittsburgh was going to rock…

Clad in his NOH8 t-shirt, carefully chosen for tonight, Tommy stood backstage watching as the talented young Brit, Joe McElderry, entertained the rapidly expanding crowds. The kid was good, moving around the stage with an air of confidence which belied his tender years.

The audience cheered the end of one song as he leapt straight into the next…

…this was the penultimate number of his six song set…

Noting the huge vases of red roses on either side of the stage, Tommy’s butterflies swooped and rolled with a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation, his mood alternating between quaking in terror and riding the biggest high he’d ever had.

_No wonder he couldn’t fucking keep still…_

As agreed, Adam was keeping away from him until…

…that moment… _Fever…_

 _…this is life changing…_ Adam’s words scrolled on repeat through Tommy’s brain, the air suddenly too thin and he felt light-headed from a lack of oxygen.

Panic reared up and Tommy gasped for breath, the blackness charging in… His eyes rolled in his head and he staggered…

…falling…

Strong arms wrapped around him and his senses were immersed in everything _Adam…_ “I got you…” Tommy blinked his eyes open, gazing up into Adam’s crystal blue depths, those depths now clouded with concern.

Tommy clung on and the iron claw around his chest loosened its grip.

Adam stroked his hand through Tommy’s hair “You okay?”

Nodding slowly, Tommy concentrated on his breathing until it was back to normal… _he could do this…claim the man he loved for the world to see…_ Standing taller, he slid his fingers through Adam’s and squeezed gently. “’m good…just a bit…y’know, overwhelmed…”

The love blazing from Adam’s eyes set Tommy’s heart beating faster and a rush of adrenalin charging through his blood stream; this was it…

Roars of applause from the front announced the end of Joe’s set and he wriggled out of Adam’s hold, the whispered “I love you” bringing a delighted smile to his face.

“You too, Babyboy…”

They increased the distance between them just as Joe bounced backstage “Awesome crowd out there…that buzz is just…fucking yeah!” He took a breath “They’re well and truly warmed up for you guys…”

**_A-dam, A-dam, A-dam…_ **

As if on cue, the audience chanting morphed into an eruption of screams as the technicians retreated, leaving the instruments ready on stage.

Adam grinned “I believe they’re playing our song…” he winked at Tommy “time to go get ‘em wet!”

Loud cheers rang out as the band took their places, launching into the intro for _If I had you…_

The decibel level increased tenfold as Adam strolled on stage, the lightest of touches to Tommy’s shoulder as he passed. Tommy gazed at his man, hot as fuck in his black and white horse-head suit pants, Tommy-approved silky black vest, sleeveless leather jacket with studded collar and pockets, finished with calf length boots, studded fingerless gloves and the infinity necklace Tommy had given him for his birthday.

Tommy’s heart leapt as Adam sang first to him and then to Ash.

Finishing back in front centre, Adam addressed the crowd “How you doin’ Pittsburgh…you ready to rock?”

Anticipation had the air shimmering with energy as they rolled into _Naked Love_. Adam resisted the urge to do his usual singing up close to Tommy, knowing their faces would give the game away. Instead, he concentrated on getting the audience involved “Hands up, c’mon…”

The screams continued to increase in volume as they moved on to _Cuckoo._ Tommy and Ashley leant against each other as Adam gave it his all “he’s on fire tonight…you’re gonna kill this crowd in _Fever…_ ” Ash grinned happily “you’re so hot together!”

“Hell, yeah…” Tommy’s face lit up and he bit back a moan as image after image rolled through his head.

 _Never close our eyes_ started with a weather report and the first indication that Adam’s attention might be elsewhere. Laughing, he babbled about rain and keeping their eyes open, admitting with an endearing giggle “what the fuck, I don’t know…you guys, don’t close your eyes…keep watchin’…”

The audience loved every second, bouncing enthusiastically at Adam’s command.

Tommy’s fingers played on automatic, his brain and circulation distracted by the tantalising glimpses of bare freckled skin as that gorgeous fluid fabric rose and fell with every bounce…     

The chorus saw Adam dragging his mic stand back towards Tommy, drawn to him like a magnet, only to resist just before he came within touching distance.

It was slow and delicious torture…

“You guys want another one? Here we go…” They barrelled into _Music again,_ Adam totally in the zone and singing the gig of his life…”you make me want to listen to _his guitar…_ ”

Tommy let it go in his solo, inching forwards and forcing himself to stay away from Adam, his boyfriend cracking the funkiest sexy hip moves on the other side of the stage…

Their eyes met momentarily as Tommy turned to return to his spot, bursting into giggles as Adam skipped across to slap him playfully on the arse.

Dragging his attention back to the front, Adam growled low, and sexy as sin, as he segued into _Chokehold…_ ”so good ‘cos it’s so bad…” Losing himself in the song, Adam gave it his sultry all, continuing his pure sex voice into _Shout,_ adding mouth-watering hip movements that left Tommy panting during the solo and ready to drop to his knees every time their eyes locked.

Grappling for control, Adam backed away and sipped his tea, his eyes still glued to Tommy’s every movement.

As the notes died away, Adam moved back to the front and addressed the crowd, a huge grin lighting his face “Um, you guys having fun? Yeah?”

The cheers hit the cosmos.

“You ready to get deeper funked? Funked a little deeper? Well, I don’t know if you guys know this, but this song was on my last album…you know who wrote this song? Lady Gaga…”

Confusion reigned behind him as Adam continued “…and she was so cool to work with and I admire her – what a frickin’ star the woman is!” He paused, wrestling his excitement back into its box “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a song called _Fever…”_

He turned around as the expected notes failed to sound. Brian was shaking his head, Tommy was in fits of helpless giggles and Ash and Rick were exchanging views on how cute it was that Adam fucked it up, obviously wanting this _particular_ song on earlier than planned…

“Oh! Is it not _Fever?”_ Adam cracked a grin and turned back to the bemused and highly entertained audience before looking down at his setlist taped to the floor. Realisation was swift and he giggled “Oh, I lied! I read that thing backwards!” He turned back to the others where hurried conversations were going on with the technicians as Tommy swapped out his guitar “No, we can go the other way…can we do it?” Adam whispered quickly in Brian’s ear, "I'm proposing...Tommy has no idea..." winking at the stunned expression on his friend's face. “Can we? I already introduced it…”

Staring back down to the offending setlist, he shook his head before addressing the audience “Sorry, I should learn how to read!” Pulling a droll face he face palmed “I sing good, but I don’t read good…so this is another song you might…oh, we can? I’m not confused…” Adam spun around, meeting Tommy’s eyes and his heart leapt at the fierce love blazing from them “This is _Fever…”_

Tommy moved forward as Braffy stepped into Tommy’s spot, the two playing in perfect harmony.

Adam dived to the side of the stage to tug a rose from the vase and walked quickly back to the centre, lifting a finger to beckon Tommy over to him. The crowd whistled and cheered as Adam ran the rose gently down the side of Tommy’s face as he began to sing.

“ _There he goes, my baby walks so slow, sexual tic-tac-toe, yeah, I know we both know…”_ moving closer, Adam curled his arm around Tommy’s waist and the audience suddenly went quiet…holding its collective breath…

_“…It isn't time, no…but could you be m-mine?”_

Their lips met, Adam’s mic and the rose dropping to the floor as he tangled his other hand in Tommy’s hair, Tommy’s arms wrapping themselves around Adam’s neck and they lost themselves in each other.

The crowd found its voice, screams and tumultuous applause as the band – with stand-in guitarist – played on, giving the lovers as much time as they wanted…

They were on their fourth round of the initial bars of the song when Adam and Tommy came up for air, huge smiles as they faced the fans. Adam dropped down to retrieve his mic, landing on one knee as he pulled a small square box out of his pocket, opening it to reveal a simple titanium ring, set with three square diamonds. “I love you Tommy Joe, with all of my heart…”

_I want you to Stay…_

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to my stars of the show: monkeychan112, insulamea16, Liv, WelshAngel, BlueLilacs, Dancerjb, Regina, Kristjan, Ikramglambert, cantletyougo, glambertuk71


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